01x03 - Good Riddance

[bunniefuu]

Party's here.
Whoo! Give me a shot.

Nicole is getting
a little bit drunk.

There you go.
Give me a kiss.

I was too drunk.

Now they've got
the impression

I'm a crazy,
slutty-a*s girl.

And I feel like I need
to go home.

Don't go home.

I will be there if you, like,
need me to be your friend.

I think this is what
I'm gonna do.

I need to stop being
f*cking Ret*rded.

So I decided to stay.
Oh, good.

God!
What's going on, bro?

Me and sam were vibing.

It's not a matter of if
she wants to hook up with me.

It's a matter of just
when I decide.

[Crowds chattering]

Sammi really, like,
surprised me.

I thought her and mike

Had, like,
a little thing going.

Your girlfriend over here

Hooked up with my boy.

And she was feeling me
the whole time.

Ronnie's f*cking hot.
I'm attracted.

I hope you're happy
with your choice.

Yo, are we gonna, like,
hang out inside or what?

Oh, my god!

The boys are gonna hate me,

Because I'm gonna keep
f*cking up their game.

Why are you
such a hater?

It's getting, like,
kind of a little bit intimate.

We're getting-
we're getting real sexual.

She has a boyfriend
back home.

She won't even remember
her boyfriend's name

When she gets done
with me.

[Driving rock music]

I'm going to jersey shore,
b*tch!

All right, we got a situation.

I'm the sweetest b*tch
you'll ever meet.

[Laughing]

After I have sex with a guy,
I will rip their heads off.

Go, vinny! Go, vinny!

Um, hello?

Jwoww, good morning.

You missed all the action.

You should've left
about an hour earlier, then.

[Scoffs] what do you mean?
Jerk-off.

Who was making out with who?

Well, you got with pauly
last night.

I know what I did last night.
I didn't kiss him.

Yeah, you made out
with pauly on stage.

In the club,
me and jwoww are dancing,

Grinding on each other.

And we ended up starting
to make out.

She's kissing me,
kissing on my neck,

Kissing on my chest.

Her hands are going downstairs.

Did I kiss you?

Mm-hmm.

I had, like, this knot
in my stomach.

I didn't even realize, like,
it was that to the extent.

But I wanted to get
all the facts together

Before I told my boyfriend.

Who did you hook up with?

No one.
Just me.

Mm-hmm.

Jwoww's playing it off
like she didn't really kiss me.

She knows very well
what we did.

I know she was coherent.

She just doesn't want
to feel like a trash bag

Because she has a boyfriend
and she kissed me

With the tongue.

Let's go. Let's go.
Let's go.

I definitely feel
like there's gonna be tension

At work today.

I know it's gonna be awkward
because of all the whole drama

Between the situation
and me and ronnie.

Later. Dragging a*s.

Get out of here.
I thought we were just on time.

No, man.
It's 6:06.

Oh, I think our clock
in the house

Is really messed up.

Yes.

I'm really not jealous
of sam and ronnie,

Because, I mean,
I had my choice, okay?

And it's really no sweat
off my back,

'Cause she wanted me first.

And I can pretty much
have my choice

Of pretty much anyone
down here.

I don't think you could last


Typical guido.

Seriously?

I see you,
and I'm not into it.

Mm-hmm.
Yeah.

You was into it the first
couple days, though, right?

I feel like the situation
is just a little jealous.

I think mike just really
likes me

And doesn't know
how to handle, like,

What's going on
with me and ronnie.

You do look very pretty
today, though.

You do.
Thank you.

You do. I'm serious.
You do.

Thank you.
You're very pretty.

Thanks. Such a gentleman.
I know.

That's why I like you,
nice guy.

Not like that, though.

Not like that.
What's "like that"?

What do you mean?
You never know.

I mean, I've experienced you
already.

You've experienced me
already, huh? Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.

I'm just entertaining
that whole idea right now

Just to get sam back,

Because I'm gonna get it
real, real, real, real close

And then flick it away.

Snooks, who you
hooking up with, snooks?

Who am I hooking up with?
I don't know.

Let's find me a man
to bring home.

Jeez.

What are you laughing at?

Snookers is funny.
She likes her pickles.

I do like my pickles.

Isn't there one thing
that you eat every day?

Yes.
What?

I don't know.
Oh.

Yo, seriously, she's on, like,
a whole nother level

On pickles.

[Laughter]

You really are training
to be a porn star.

You're an as*h*le.

Pickles is my thing, like.

And the boys, like,
always stare at me

As I'm eating pickles
'cause they're perverts.

So of course they're gonna
joke about it.

I eat it a specific way.

Suck the juice out first.

Yes.
O-h*, h*.

Oh, my god.
I like snooki. She's funny.

I'm one of a kind,
aren't i?

He was crushing you hard,
like, really hard.

It makes me think, like,
you're saying sh*t

To him or something.

No, I'm not saying...

What do you mean?

I'm, like, all about you
right now.

Like, what the f*ck?
Yeah. Obviously.

I'm not gonna waste my time.

I'm past the point
of wasting my time with girls,

Especially if I'm sitting there
saying I'm not gonna sh*t

Where I sleep and, like, I'm
f*cking cuddling with you.

I don't cuddle.

Ronnie, I'm, like, really
attracted to.

I really want to see,
like, what happens

With me and him.

Ronnie, you always
take care of me.

I do what I can.

What would I do without you?
You'd be with that creep.

[Laughs]
yeah.

You ready?
Bye, guys.

♪ All of my fears
finally come true ♪

♪ All of these tears,
well, I cried for you ♪

♪ Well, I'm down ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm down ♪

♪ Oh, but, darling,
it won't be for long ♪

Jwoww, she's my go-to girl.

Like, I mean, I'm going to come
to her when I need her

For any, you know,
kind of relationship stuff.

How are you and sam?
We were at work today.

And she was just, like,
you know,

She's, like, "I don't think
you're feeling this."

And I was like... Honestly,
I was like, "you're awesome.

You make me laugh."

I was like, "we have
a good time together."

You know what I mean?
So you like her?

Yeah.
I'm really close to ron now.

And, like, I think he has
genuine feelings for sam.

Honestly, mike, he's kind of
pissing me off a little bit.

He keeps saying, like,
tellin' me, like,

"Oh, you think you're
gonna last with her?"

This and that.

And he's, like, "you knew
she kissed me."

I was, like, "bro-
from the beginning, bro,"

I was, like, "it's been me."

It's, like, dude,
it's, like, "get over it.

Get over it already."
You know what I'm saying?

Like, yo, we hold hands
in front of you.

Like, we cuddle
in front of you.

We make out in front
of you.

What else do you-
what else do...

Do I need to beat it
in front of you too

For you to finally be,
like, "all right,

Maybe I should just
step back"?

Mike is, like,

Trying to stir up some drama
between them to make it end.

But, I mean,
it's not working.

But he's making it worse
for himself,

Because he's pushing it-
he's pushing it...

He's just
f*cking pushing her away.

Good.
And pushing her towards me.

That's why I'm not, like-
good.

Just don't have her push him
towards me.

[Laughs]

Oh!

If jwoww was my girl,

I would break up with her
in a second.

I think he's kind of a sucker,
if you ask me.

I've had it. I think I just
broke up with my boyfriend.

I'm done.

My boyfriend's supposed
to be coming down

With our good friend jay.

Come on.
I f*cked up big-time.

I made out with pauly.

Comes down to, you know,
me sucking it up

And admitting my wrongs
and just telling him

And just taking
whatever he has to say,

'Cause I made the mistake.

This is the house here.
Oh!

You miss me?

I felt horrible,
absolutely horrible.

I can't tell him right now.

This is my boyfriend, tom.
What's up?

That's our friend jay.
What's up, man?

Yes.

You're my new
best friend, bro.

My new best friend.

My god, you got her
those flowers?

Yes.

Nice guy, right?
They are gorgeous.

I met jwoww's boyfriend.

Seems like a cool guy.

But if jwoww was my girl,

I would break up with her
in a second.

Your girl shouldn't be
out there dancing like that,

Lifting up her skirt.

And I already made out
with her,

So I think he's kind of
a sucker, if you ask me.

These are my friends.

How you doing?
Hi.

Pauly.
Alana.

Nice to meet you.
Elena.

Nice to meet you.

I haven't seen
my two friends

Alana and elena in a while.

They came to visit me.
I'm excited.

Elena, she's actually
newly single.

So she's, like,
"we're gonna party it up,

"Me and you.

My boyfriend broke up with me,
so let's go."

What are you gonna do
tonight?

Ange, I have nothing
going on.

You're not-
you're not around.

So go to headliners
and meet me there, then.

You don't have to come back
to this house.

Just meet me there.

I don't really know
what's going on.

Me and my boyfriend
were so close,

And now I just feel like
I don't even know

What the hell he's doing.

He doesn't know what the hell
I'm doing.

All right, what time
you going there?


All right. Um...

I got to... I'm gonna take
a shower now, okay?

All right.
All right. Bye.

Bye.

So your boy's coming?

I don't know.
I hope he does.

I really want to see him.

Are you excited
he's coming, though?

Stop it.
You know you're excited.

Stop it.

This is your blow dryer,
right?

I'm a guy;
it'll take two seconds.

I need my mirror, then.

It's saturday night.
We're going to headliners.

I'm looking to have
more of a classy night tonight.

Why are you getting
so dressed up for this place?

I don't think
you understand.

Ron.
What?

Can I go in there
and change?

Yeah. Come on.
I don't care.

You're such a jerk.

All right, guys.
Overtime.

Let's go, boys.

Let the pay-per-view event
begin.

♪ The pleasure is mine ♪

When I got into headliners,

I started to, like, look around
to see if my boyfriend

Was on his way.

I'm, like,
"where is this kid?"

The minute that my boyfriend
showed up,

It just kind of felt, like,
a little weird.

I don't know.

Need to find a boy.
I know!

We should find guys
and bring' em back to the house.

Well, I'm dancing then,
and someone grabs my arm.

I look.
It's my friend mike.

Let's go. Let's go.

Me and mike have hooked up
before.

So that's why when I saw him
at headliners,

I was, like, "oh, sh*t.

I'm gonna bring him home,
and I'm gonna get my fix."

I'm excited!

I think I just broke up
with my boyfriend.

I've had it.
It's just bullshit.

I don't give a f*ck.
I'm out. I'm out.

Angelina's boyfriend
all of a sudden just ran away.

So I don't get that
at all.

I found out that angelina's
boyfriend is getting a divorce.

Like, I had no idea
that he was married.

So the fact
that you're stressing

Over a married guy,

It just makes no sense
at all.

I was really, um, upset
about how the night ended.

And I was just, like, you know,
"I can't take this anymore."

Where is he?

And then I wound up
just, like, saying,

You know, "forget it,"

And I just wound up
going home.

This is mike.
Can I speak to angelina, please?

Mike's on the phone.
Nah, it's okay.

At this point,
I don't care anymore.

You don't feel good,
but you were out last night.

Yeah.
So you're hungover.

Are you getting it?
I'm totally getting it.

You're not getting it.

I don't have to do
what I don't want to do.

What happened to you today?
I'm not talking.

Are you really being serious?

You show me this kind
of disrespect

After I let you in
my f*cking house?

When I left the club,

I just wanted to just be
by myself.

I just wasn't, like, happy
at all.

[Cell phone chimes]

At this point,
I don't care anymore.

I'm done.
What the hell happened?

I just can't take it
anymore.

It's just too much.
Like, you know what I mean?

So that's it.
So I'm done.

[Duck quacks]

Whoa.

This is mike.
Can I speak to angelina, please?

Sure. Hold on.
All right, buddy.

What's up?

Mike's on the phone.
Nah, it's okay.

I don't really want to talk
to him.

All right, mike.
Yeah, what's up, buddy?

Yeah, bro, she said, uh,
she said, "call me tomorrow."

Well, I want to talk
to her.

So tell her to get on the
f*cking phone for a second.

Yo, he said "get on
the f*cking phone."

Say, "f*ck, no."

Come on.
What are you doing?

Is he... Is he stupid
as a m*therf*cker?

[Cell phone chimes]

So what's up?
Nothing.

You all right?
Yeah, I'm good.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Angelina's boyfriend,
uh, he probably definitely

Got his hands full right now,

Because she's, like,
the drama queen of the house.

She needs the attention,
loves the attention.

And anybody else that has
the attention,

She's gonna try to grab it.

I really think I f*cked up
when I hooked up with pauly,

Because thomas is, like,
the only guy

That I would consider
being with for a long time.

All right.

Tommy said that if I did
cheat on him, he'd leave me.

So I just have to figure out
how to approach this.

Thank you for everything.

Any time.

My boyfriend's leaving.

I don't think I've realized
how much I cared about him

Till he came this weekend.

Did you have a good time
yesterday?

I didn't tell tom
what happened with pauly.

Like, it's just not worth,
you know, losing him.

I don't care
what anyone in this house

Thinks about me;
I don't.

She didn't give
a sh*t about anyone.

I just want to leave.
That's it.

I see ronnie
with another girl.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

And I was like,
"f*ck that."

We're about to eat.

Call everybody up.
Let's eat.

Look at these pancakes.
What is up?

I had fun at headliners.

I don't know
about anybody else.

Last night was good.

Um, headliners was cool.

But angelina
and her boyfriend,

It's a little more drama
than it's worth.

The kid's a d*uche bag.

Her boyfriend's a big
d*uche bag.

Oh. [Laughs]

[Whispering]
he's getting a divorce.

He's no good.

When jwoww told me

That angelina's boyfriend
was married,

I kind of was like,
"no way."

Like, angelina!
Like, what are you doing?

Like, get rid of this kid.
He's no good for you.

I think she's just
a drama queen.

She just wants mad attention
all the time.

I know her.

Who got work?

What?
People got work?

Vinny's supposed to work
with angelina,

And now it comes time
for her shift.

So vinny goes to work
on time,

But she doesn't care.

What's happening?
Ready to work?

Always.

All right, buddy.

Give you a chance.
It's gonna be a long day.

What's up?

I don't know...

You don't know what?

If angelina's
coming to work.

Oh, that's f*cked up.
Yeah, I know.

I guess you're gonna have
to do a lot of work today,

'Cause we're gonna be
short-staffed, then.

Let's do it.

So we'll see what happens.

[Coughs]

I'm just like,
you know what?

I'm thinking about
my boyfriend so much,

And I'm like, I really don't
want to work today.

I just don't
want to do it.

[Coughs]

Want to find a shirt
today?

I'm just browsing around.

No, this store has,
like, the most...

Out of all the stores
on the boardwalk,

The most hilarious
there is.

Danny, angelina
didn't show. Nope.

She's a no-go.

I'm, like, tired.
I don't feel good.

Like, I didn't want
to go there.

I didn't want to explain
myself.

But I have to do it.

It was just
a pain in the a*s.

What time zone
are you in?

What?

What time zone
are you in?

I don't know.
I don't feel good, though.

That's why.
Where's danny?

Like, I've been sick
all day.

Danny's not here.
I'm here.

Oh, you're here?
Yeah.

You were supposed to call.

If you need somebody to cover
your shift,

That's on you, man.

I can't have that.
It's august right now.

This is the time
where I make money.

Wouldn't you think
it was more logical

To call me an hour ago?

I don't feel good.
Like, i...

Okay, but who's
covering your shift?

Honestly, like,
I'm sick.

When you're sick, like,
honestly, like...

But all I'm trying
to say is,

Who's gonna cover
your shift?

Like,
why couldn't you call

And have your shift covered?

I don't have the number
to here.

You don't have the number
to your own work?

I came in here.
I don't have the number.

There's people
on the phone right now.

You could have
walked here.

I don't have... First of all,
be realistic here.

You be realistic.

I was sitting on the couch.

You don't feel good,
but you were out last night.

Yeah.
So you're hungover.

I'm not hungover;
I had two drinks last night.

Angelina's making up
this excuse that she's sick.

That is a lame excuse.
She just doesn't want to work.

I had a problem last night
with, like,

My boyfriend and stuff.

All right,
what was the first thing

That danny told you
when he came?

Your boyfriend,
all that sh*t?

Forget about it.

Come on.

Like, you're not get-
are you getting it?

Like-
I'm totally getting it.

You're not getting it.
I am getting it.

I don't have to do what I
don't want to do. That's it.

It was common courtesy
for me to even walk over there.

There's nobody to cover for me.
I'm sorry.

And I don't really care.

I don't care
what he thinks about me.

I don't care what anyone
in this house thinks about me.

I don't.
That's it.

[Coughing]

I'm done.

I can't take this anymore.

♪ Who do you think
you are? ♪

♪ Who do you
think you are? ♪

♪ Gimme all your
consequences ♪

♪ When you've mended
all your fences ♪

♪ Who do you think
that you are? ♪

♪ ♪

Angelina?

Where you at?

She's upstairs,
I think.

Upstairs?
Yeah.

Want to get her for me?
Yeah.

You'll have her come down?
Mm-hmm.

He wants you
to come downstairs.

I don't think
he's gonna...

Tell him to come
into the bathroom

If he wants to talk to me.

Other than that,
I'm not gonna answer him.

Can you talk to her
in the bathroom?

In the bathroom?
Yeah.

Why, it's that hard
for you to walk downstairs?

What happened to you
today?

Um...
What the hell happened?

I'm not gonna go
inside a bathroom.

Well, then, I'm not talking.
Sorry.

I'm not 15 years old.

Well, I'm not talking, then.

Are you really
being serious?

I can't... I'm not...

You show me this kind
of disrespect

After I let you in my f-
my house?

Um, danny, then,
I'm sorry.

I don't know
what to tell you.

You couldn't even
give me a phone call

To tell me that you were
gonna be late.

Not even answering?

It was wrong, you know,
what she did with the bathroom.

Like, that's straight up
disrespect.

You call... Just at least
a phone call

Would have been better.

So I guess you're fired.
You're leaving.

You're packing your bags.

'Cause for you to stay
in this house,

You have to work.

[Coughs]

f*cking ridiculous.

The way she disrespected
our boss, like, come on.

She didn't give a sh*t
about anyone.

She's being selfish.

Uh, anyway...

I was so pissed off.

I just want to leave.
That's it.

What an as*h*le.

♪ Who do you think
that you are? ♪

From what I heard, I think
I made a mistake at the club.

It just all came down
to admitting my wrongs

And just telling him.

[Dial tone]

When I saw that,
I was so angry

That I just walked out.

Yo, I want it, then.

Do you?
Yeah.

Danny basically
said to her, like,

"You're fired.

Now you have to pack
and get out of my house."

I felt like angelina
was disrespecting everything.

And for her to, like,
basically spit

In everyone's face, like,
"I'm not going to work,"

Who the f*ck are you?

Here, nicole, write down your
number on this thing, okay?

Yeah.

I'm leaving now.

I have to do
what I have to do,

So that's really it.

Okay, thanks.
Bye.

Done.

Yo, guys.

I'm out.

If I don't see you,
I wish you good luck

With your boyfriend
and all that situation.

Yeah.

If you want to leave,
that's on you.

If you're that stupid
and you want to leave

The jersey shore
in the summertime,

I'm gonna let you leave.

Now we've got nobody
to get on this guy

Like you did.

I know; I was always the one
to abuse you, right?

No, I don't know about that.
I don't know about that.

You have a gray hair.

Oh!

What the f*ck
is that?

Why do you have
gray hair already?

'Cause of you.

Listen, I don't want
to get on you.

Go home.

You're an idiot, mike.

He's really mad.

Stop being a d*ck.

All right,
I wouldn't be a d*ck

If you weren't
a little b*tch.

Oh!
All right? All right?

He wanted one good one in,
like, before I left.

Yeah, exactly.

One more,
one more last hurrah.

Angelina wanted us to,
like, beg her to stay,

But I don't think that anybody's
gonna do that.

It's almost like, "good-bye,
good riddance."

All right, well,
I gotta go.

Bye, guys.
Bye-bye.

Love you, guys.
Be careful.

I will.
Thanks for coming.

Get the f*ck
out of here.

Angelina's not a part
of this house anymore,

So, like, f*ck you,
angelina.

Like, you don't need
to be here,

And I'm glad you left.

She's not a part of
the jersey shore anymore.

I'll probably regret
leaving,

And I feel like
me leaving,

It might hurt me
in the end.

But for right now,
I want to do it.

I know I'm a nice girl.
I know I'm fun.

You know,
I'm f*cking great.

I just feel like here,
I just... I can't do it.

And this has nothing to do
with my boyfriend.

Bless all the roomies
that are still here.

[Laughter]

The survivors.

The f*cking survivors.

And dig in.
I love you guys.

All right, all right,
all right, let's eat.

Let's eat.
I'm hungry too.

Angelina was a b*tch the
whole time that she was here,

Like, making fun
of everybody,

Just starting unnecessary
drama that we didn't need.

Um, hello,
are you f*cking stupid?

They're taking
their underwear off

In the f*cking jacuzzi!

Are you dumb?

[Laughs]
look at me, please.

Yeah, exactly.
Look at me.

I'm all-f*cking natural,
baby, and I'm hot.

Michael, go upstairs
to your wh*res.

There you go.
What? What happened?

Hello! We don't slam doors
in this house.

[Door slams]

Three months
of a relationship

Is not worth leaving
this experience.

It's really not.

He didn't even want
to come see her.

Like, what boyfriend
does that?

And he's married.

She did it to herself.
Who cares?

Angelina was like
a half-assed firecracker.

It just fizzled out
real quick,

And it made a loud noise.

Why are you
such a hater?

No one wants you.

So that's the way
angelina was.

All right, who's gonna start
the toast off?

Enjoying the time
we have together.

No more drama.

A toast.

Salud.
Cheers.

[Line trilling]

Hello?
Hi.

No, 'cause it's not good.
I'm gonna be honest.

I hope it's not
relationship-breaking.

With tom, I could
never see myself, like,

Purposely hurting him,
'cause he's such a great guy.

But the night that I drank
too much,

I made out with pauly.

I just saw your p*nis.

And I think he deserved
to know the truth.

From what I heard,

I think I made a mistake
at a club.

Oh, my god.

Uh, no, not at all.

It's completely the opposite.

I love you.

[Click]

[Dial tone]

So I told my boyfriend,
and he hung up.

I never meant to hurt him
or break his heart,

And I hope I didn't.

And he's an amazing guy,
and I love him to death.

I'm announcing it now.

I told tommy, and he basically
broke up with me.

Oh, pauly, a problem.

I told him.

You did the right thing,
honestly.

If it's meant to be,
tommy will realize

That they're cool,
and they'll get back together.

She's at the jersey shore,

So let the single b*tch,
like, have fun now.

So I'll give it,
like 24 hours.

If I don't hear from him,
I'm rockin' out.

You're a single girl.

That's a bad thing.

Me, single?
That's bad.

I guess I'm single.
I don't know.

If I am, we've got
a problem on our hands,

'Cause I've been like

Susie f*cking homemaker
over here.

I've been, uh, a nun,
a catholic nun, for all I know.

If he doesn't want to
make it work,

Then it's no holds.

I'm just gonna
show my true side,

My true dirty,
filthy f*cking side.

That's good for pauly.

[Laughter]

It didn't matter to me
either way.

The fact that jwoww broke up
with her boyfriend,

It just means that
she'll feel less guilty now

When she hooks up with me.

You all right?

I told him I didn't even want
to tell him, but he knew.

It'll be all right.

Yeah, I need to just
get through this night,

And it'll be straight.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Laughs]

Ew! I'm not trying
to be played out.

If I see you with
another girl, like,

Then forget you.

They'll be pissed
if we miss our songs.

Me too.

Where's the bartender?

My girl ryder's
crazy like me.

Like, we love to party.
We love house music.

It's just a fun time.

And I'm so excited, because
I could actually, like,

Let loose and be
my full self.

Hey!

We're like party girls.

You know, when we go out,
we like to dance,

And we just like to have
a good time.

Oh, just the way it used
to be.

We and ryder
are always dancing.

We always make a scene.

We're always, like,
center of attention.

I just let loose,
and I f*cking k*lled it

On the dance floor.

[Dance music]

♪ ♪

Hey!

Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

Like, we were seriously
in a bar,

Trying to f*cking dance.

Nobody knows how to dance?

That's the one right
on the boardwalk. Let's go.

Is it?
Yeah, let's go.

Where are you going?

I gotta get my wallet
from the car.

Where are you going?

We're gonna go play
miniature golf.

With sam.

Pbbt.

I think, like, you know,
with the whole mike thing,

You know, the way he was
f*cking scorning

And being sulky about
the whole situation,

We're getting to a point
where it's like,

"We don't really care
what you guys think."

We're happy, and, like,

It's gonna be
what it's gonna be,

Whether you like it
or not.

What's up?

What's your name?

Ryder.
What's up, ryder?

Michael. Nice to meet you.

Michael?
What are you guys doing?

We're going in the hot tub.
In the hot tub.

Really? With me?
I don't know.

Sounds like it.
Sounds like some fun.

I'm about to get in.

How 'bout I get
in the jacuzzi?

Turn around. Turn around.
[Gasps]

Relax.

That's what
I'm talking about.

People get shocked when
they see something like that.

Snooki's friend ryder,
I thought, was kind of cute.

You know,
she wasn't ugly.

She was thin and petite,
and I kind of like that.

We're playing mini-golf,
if you want to come.

No, that's all right.
You go with ronnie.

You're more than
welcome to.

We're all roomies
in the house.

Like, if me and ronnie
are hooking up,

I don't want it
to be awkward, like,

"Oh, you can't come hang out
with me and ronnie."

Like, come hang out.

I just think that-
that what?

Like, the whole,
like, ronnie thing...

That whole ronnie thing?

I don't want it to be,
like, a creepy thing, and...

What do you mean?
It's not a creepy thing.

I don't even know what
you're talking about.

You have fun
with ronnie tonight.

Why? Why would it
be awkward?

I'm just saying...

Because something else
is supposed to happen?

When it comes to ronnie
and sammi,

It's, like, I don't know.

I have my own relationship
with sammi,

And we're, like,
really, really tight.

And I'm not even
really jealous

About the ronnie/sammi
situation,

Because, I mean, I just have
so much going on myself

That I have no time to really
think about them two right now.

They're in the jacuzzi,
two girls.

They asked me to go in,
just me,

But I don't know.

You said no?

I told them
I'd think about it.

Whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have a good time.

Can I get two?

Thank you, ronnie.
What color ball you want?

Do you have pink?

Let me show you
how it's done.

[Laughs]

Look at you.

[Laughs]

I definitely think ronnie is,
like, very cute.

He, like, holds my hand,
and he pays for the date.

I'm just really, like,
into ronnie right now.

I don't... I can't even
explain it.

I can only, like, wait
and see what happens.

I really don't know.

But I'm liking, like,
where we are.

Yeah, I mean,
me and sammi

Are pretty much together at this
point, you know what I mean?

[Laughs]

It's pretty nice.

I'm enjoying it.
I really am.

It's real.
It is, definitely.

♪ And I want you
by my side ♪

Yo, the guest room
is locked up.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

Who's in there?
Who do you think?

Sammi and ronnie?
Oh, man.

Ah!

They're in there
right now? Yes!

[Laughs]

Nicole, get in here.

Aah!
[Laughs]

Cheers, 21-year-olds.

Love you guys.

Thank you
for having me.

Yeah, where's the champagne?
Could I get some champagne?

[Laughs]
don't bite it like that.

It's not good to bite.

[Overlapping chatter]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.

I had a feeling where I wanted
to make out with somebody,

So I just
made out with ryder,

'Cause all the guys
like that.

[Laughs]

Someone wants to get
another room.

[Cheering]
yeah.

[Laughter]

[Laughs]

Wow.

The hot tub
with snooki and ryder

Was very,
very entertaining.

Uh, it actually got
pretty wild

At certain points throughout
that, uh, the...

[Laughs]

Whose foot is that?
That'd be my foot.

My bad.
That's okay.

Whoo-hoo!

Mike can be a nice guy.

Like, he shows
his good side,

Then he shows off
his jerk-off side,

And that's what I like:

A good guy
and a jerk-off.

It's all in the same.

Whoa!
Yeah, snooks!

That's what up.

Is that a full moon
over there?

[Whistles]

This is gettin' wild,
isn't it?

♪ This time you cannot
run away with me ♪

[Laughs]

♪ Looks like I'll have to
let them play ♪

Making out was fun.

If one thing leads
to another,

I'm not gonna tell him
to get off.

[Laughs]

Well, you're mad cool.
I like you.

You're not like most girls
that I meet, like...

No?
No.

Me and ronnie ended up,
like,

Going to the guest room.

There was a bigger bed
there,

And honestly,
we had a great night.

Like, we just talked
the whole night.

Everybody's, like, "I would have
never expected you

To hook up with ronnie."

I didn't even expect it.

[Both laugh]

This is something
that I definitely

Was not expecting to happen
in the jersey shore house.

But right now I'm, like,

Really happy
with my decisions

And what, um,
I've been doing,

So I can only, like,
wait and see what goes on.

I like her,
to be honest with you.

At first,
I was all about, like,

"I'm not gonna sh*t
where I sleep."

But I mean, for her,

I'll roll around
in my sh*t all day,

To be honest with you.

I don't even care
at this point.

Where do you want this?

Uh, we're about to
throw it in the grill,

So if you could
put it over there.

We're gonna have
a big family dinner.

Chef mike is doing his thing
in the kitchen.

He's like, "oh, hook up
that grill for me,

And get it started."

I put the charcoal in,
connected it to the tank.

For some reason,
it's not lighting.

I don't know, mike.
It won't light.

So I connected that.
Yeah? I hear it.

So I was like,
"mike, I don't know.

I can't do this.
I don't cook."

He comes over, and he
lights it with the lighter.

You got it. It's on.
Nice.

All right, just close
this sucker for now.

Let it heat up.
All right.

Did you get it to light?
Yeah.

The fridge is stocked.

Next thing you know,
the grill is legit burnt.

Smoke, like, flames.

Yeah, this is a problem
right now.

[Gasps]

We could possibly
blow up right now.

It's... It's burning-
it's burning the whole thing.

Pauly, take care of it
before we blow the f*ck up.

I'm gonna use this thing.
Don't... Is it gonna blow up?

Half the grill
is, like, melting.

It's, like, this huge fire,
and mike's like,

"What do we do?
What do we do?"

I'm like, "the fire
extinguisher's right there."

Yo, um...

There you go.

I give you one job,
the f*cking grill...

We did it together, brother.

Technically, I guess.

I told pauly d
to start the grill,

And he puts charcoal
in a gas grill,

And then he asks me
to light it.

We were this close to pretty
much blowing up the house.

You want me to sh**t that?
Yeah, do it.

It's working the way
it's supposed to work.

Yeah, that's the way
it's supposed to work.

I think we might be able
to still cook on that.

Oh, for real?
For real.

Mm-mm-mm.

Who looks in the mirror
and goes, "mm-mm-mm"?

Shut up, ron.

[Laughs]

Salud, you big p*mps.

[Overlapping chatter]

We get to karma,

And we're all bumping
and grinding together.

It was actually
legitimately a good time.

[Dance music]

I was really pumped,
'cause you know, like,

Nobody's seen
what I'm capable of.

If I'm gonna be single,

I'll f*cking make everyone
hate each other

By the end of the night.

[Overlapping chatter]

I danced with mike,
I danced with pauly,

And I danced with ron.

I danced with everybody.

[Music playing]

You know, I mean, I was
hanging out with everyone,

But I was more spending time
with sammi.

When I kiss ronnie,
like, that's how you, like,

Know when you
like somebody.

Like, you feel something,
kind of.

You are.
You are.

You know, we told each other
a lot of things

That, like, we usually
don't tell people,

So it just feels right.

Just, like, it clicks.

So, I mean, later on
that night, freakin' vinny's,

"All right, I need ronnie
to the dance floor."

We gotta go.
We gotta go.

I mean, I'll break it down,
dancing.

I love the beats.
I got my creepy patent move.

[Music playing]

♪ ♪

I don't even know
where I learned to do this.

I just rocked
that sh*t out.

Ronnie's
nowhere to be found,

And I saw my friend
who's a cop.

So I kind of was just
talking to him at the club.

Can we do this?

I don't know.

I guess, like, whatever...

We were talking and flirting,

'Cause I get very flirtatious
when I drink.

So then i, like,
was looking around for ronnie,

And then I see him
on the dance floor

With another girl.

So I was like, "ew."

I'm not trying to be
played out.

If I see you physically
on the dance floor

With another girl, like,
then, forget you.

So I kind of was like,

"You want my number?
Like, call me."

And I gave it away
out of spite.

I don't like to be, like,

Thinking I'm a fool,
'cause I'm not.

Sam's flirting
with a cop right now.

I see drama.
I see drama.

I catch sam
giving the cop her number.

I go to ron and I said, "you
better check your girlfriend.

She's disrespecting you."

I feel like
he's getting played,

And you know,
that's embarrassing.

Yeah, I'll be there.

When I saw that,
I was like, "f*ck it."

I don't want to be with
a woman like that.

It was in the heat
of the moment.

I was f*cking pissed,
and I was so angry

That I just walked out.

God, you're leaving?

[Door slams]

[Music playing]

♪ ♪

I don't want ron to be
home alone, flipping out,

'Cause, you know,
I'm concerned for him,

So I'm gonna take off
and check on ron.

♪ ♪

Where's ronnie?
I have no idea.

Where is he?

I couldn't find him,
and then I'm, like,

Hanging out, and somebody
comes up to me

And goes,
"ronnie left with jwoww."

No. No, no, no, no, no.

Like, my heart, like,
sank into my stomach,

And I was like,
"f*ck that."

Like, when I left karma,

I don't even know what was
going on in my head.

Like, "I'm gonna f*cking
knock a b*tch up."