No, no, we're not... Chill. Come on.
You know, everyone's already cool with themselves.
They're all, like, connected right now.
Me? I'm on the outcast.
I saw pauly's piercing on his p*nis.
I think I made a mistake.
I love you.
[Click, dial tone]
and he's single? That's bad.
My only rule, never fall in love at the jersey shore.
This is something that I definitely
was not expecting to happen in the jersey shore house.
Me and sammi are pretty much together at this point.
It's real. It is, definitely.
We gotta go! We gotta go!
So then I was looking around for, like, ronnie,
and then I see him on the dance floor
with another girl!
I'm not trying to, like, be played out.
If I see you physically on the dance floor
with another girl, like, then forget you.
When I saw that, I was, like,
I don't wanna be with a woman like that.
Ron, you're leaving?
Dj pauly delvecchio!
I'm going to the jersey shore, b*tch!
All right, we got a situation.
I'm the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.
[Laughing]
after I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off.
Go, vinny! Go, vinny!
Um, hello!
I don't even know what happened.
Like, we were all hangin' out, and everything was fine.
But I guess stuff happens.
We gotta go! We gotta go!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. We gotta go to this song.
Our song is on.
I went, and I started dancing.
And I guess... She saw some guy.
Then next thing I know,
they started getting to know each other.
And when I saw that, I was like, "f*ck it."
I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna dance,
you know what I mean?
Then jwoww comes up to me,
and she's like, "oh, she gave the kid the number."
You're leaving?
Ron!
[Techno music plays]
♪ ♪
I don't want ron to be home alone flipping out,
'cause, you know, I'm concerned for him.
I feel like he's getting played,
and, you know, that's embarrassing.
So I'm gonna take off and check on ron.
Ronnie's nowhere to be found.
And I'm, like, hanging out with vinny.
Like, vinny's, like, tryin' to, like, calm me down.
He's, like, "what's going on?"
But I couldn't find him and then I'm, like,
hanging out, and somebody comes up to me
and goes, "ronnie left with jwoww."
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Like, my heart, like, sank into my stomach.
And I was, like, f*ck that.
Like, when I left karma,
I don't even know what was going on in my head.
Like, I'm gonna f*ck' knock a b*tch up.
Well, maybe you should come talk to me.
No. I'm good. You're disgusting.
You're f*cking disgusting. You're f*cking disgusting.
You don't even know what the f*ck went down.
Go back to your cop. Go back to your cop.
That's not my f*cking cop. That's your cop.
It's cool. You're just like the rest.
That's not my f*ck...
Why don't you go back to the other b*tches
you were dancing with on the dance floor?
You're like the rest of the jersey girls I met, honestly...
Get a f*cking clue. Honestly...
I'm gonna f*cking get at her so bad right now.
I'm gonna eat her alive, bro.
Seriously, you want to play this game?
Seriously? No, stop. Get out.
Are you serious? Like, I'm dead serious.
No, no, no. You get up in front of me.
You went and talked to another guy, like...
No, no! You're dancing with another girl!
You gave him your number.
You're dancing with another girl!
I walked away for, like, three seconds.
I go, "where the f*ck is ronnie?"
We're talking about you.
I walked away for three seconds.
That's all it took, sam, was three seconds, sam.
Like, ronnie, I was dead on, like, about to cry at the bar.
I left.
Like, stop. This is no joke.
This is no f*ck' joke.
I'm not playing.
Any relationship, it's the same old thing.
It's, like, goo-goo, ga-ga.
Like, eyed over each other in the beginning.
Then you get really comfortable.
And then sh*t goes down
where you just can't even deal with each other anymore.
Okay, if you really want on jenny's whatever, go! Go!
Sam...
'Cause, really, 'cause people at the bar
were like, "ronnie and jenny went the f*ck home."
So, really, now I'm, like, my heart is torn.
Are you honestly saying you didn't give him your number?
You think this is a f*cking game.
This is not a f*cking game, ronnie.
I told you so much sh*t, sam.
I told you so much sh*t, ronnie.
Like, I f*ck' like you. Like, stop!
This is no joke, how I feel about you.
Like, you need to f*ck' understand that.
I was ready to put you in the equation.
Like, you in the equation. Like, how do I look?
I never hooked up with anybody.
You know what, you obviously don't know
how I feel about you if you really feel like that.
You're my girl. Don't you realize that?
Oh, my god, I haven't said that in so long, sam.
Like you're legit my girl right now.
You're, like, my best friend here, ronnie.
I can't lie to you.
[Both sobbing]
I'm serious.
What's up, my dude? My dude!
I got girls back here almost every night.
There's not a time that I don't have girls comin' back.
Girls love the situation.
This is the crib right now. We got upstairs.
Probably gonna go in the jacuzzi.
Okay, do you guys need, like, any... Any...
Like, we're gonna get towels.
You need anything? We're good; we're good.
We're good? I don't even have a bathing suit.
I feel you on that, but we're really drunk.
We're gonna have fun. We're going in our underwear.
That's what's going on right now.
I'm really not going in, so- yeah, you are.
I am not.
Leave your pants on.
I'm gonna go in my pants? Yes.
And then what am I gonna drive home in?
You turn the jacuzzi on? Look what I got.
I'm not going in with my pants on.
You're going in with somethin', here ya go.
Then get me a pair of shorts.
I feel you on that. Hold that.
They were actin' kinda stupid.
But we just, uh, made the best out of the situation,
like we always do and just ride out.
A bra's the same as a bathing suit.
Exactly.
To an awesome night.
Salut. Salut.
Salut to being italian.
To being italian.
I'm hookin' up with my girl.
Pauly's hookin' up with his girl.
And, uh, we're gonna have sex.
So, you know, that's the situation.
We have both the chicks in the bed.
It's me and mike.
Mike has a chick. I have a chick.
We're in bed.
We're just foolin' around, whatever.
I couldn't have sex with my girl, she had her period.
I go to take her pants off,
she wouldn't let me, no big deal.
And then I don't know what he was doin'.
He was fumbling around in his drawer lookin' for something.
I was assuming that mike was looking for a condom.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere,
my girl, she's like, "oh, I'm gonna leave."
What's goin' on? You hungry?
I'm like, "chill out, freckles mcgee."
What's wrong? You mad at me?
I don't know what's up with her.
But, I mean, I guess it's a girl thing.
Mike!
What?
Who's that, mike? I don't know.
Oh, my god!
Dude, what are you going to do with that?
Holy sh*t!
We're, like, what the f*ck are we gonna do?
Get your ugly a*s out of our faces.
This kid just hit her.
[Sobbing]
it's all right. It's all right.
I thought it was really, really bad last night.
So I was happy, like, we woke up together,
but I'm still, like, worried that maybe
it's not gonna be okay, like, as the day goes on.
I don't know if sammi has, like, a jealousy issue
or whatever the case may be.
I just find it to be ridiculous.
I find that if ron talks to any type of girl,
sam gets upset.
I got enough sh*t going on with my boyfriend
that, you know, I don't even pay no mind between them two.
[Phone beeping]
[line trilling]
hello.
Please don't hang up.
All right.
A few days ago, I told my boyfriend
that I saw pauly's piercing on his p*nis.
I think I made a mistake.
Oh, my god.
I love you.
[Click, dial tone]
hopefully he forgives me and gets over it.
I don't know if you want to talk to me again,
but I just want to apologize for everything.
And... That I'm really sorry.
What did you say?
I said I just want to apologize for everything,
and I'm really sorry.
And... I'm, like, sucking up my pride right now
and apologizing, so... Again and again, but, you know,
I know that you said if I did anything, you'll hang up
and you'll never talk to me, so...
[Sighs]
so... I guess that's it.
Did I hang up on you?
I mean, you can call me. You can do whatever.
I'm just never coming up there again.
If you're thinking I'm doing that,
you're out of your f*cking mind.
I'm really sorry.
If I come there, there's gonna be a fistfight.
Nuh-uh. So...
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
And I love you,
and I meant everything I said about us.
So, I guess, call me whenever you feel like it.
All right.
Peace. Bye.
I could have been, like, you know, "peace, f*ck you.
"I'm gonna go do me and have, like, this wonderful summer
and not think twice about you."
But at the end of the day,
I realize how much tom means to me.
I honestly would, like, give up anything
to have tom in my life.
I worked with ronnie today, but after the whole disaster
and madness that went on last night,
um, I feel, like, awkward, a little bit.
How you guys doing today?
We can get a blank shirt and put whatever you want on it.
Yeah, they got v-necks, you know,
whatever... Whatever you're looking for.
Oh, looky, lookit. I love it.
All right, there you go.
Can I get "property of craig" on those?
I don't know what's up with sam.
She was doing her own thing. She's not really working.
I mean, I don't really know what's wrong.
I'm not really good with relationships.
Um, I'm gonna push myself to where it's like,
you know, being positive about it.
But I'm kind of nervous with getting myself
involved again with somebody.
I don't know what's up with her.
But, I mean, I guess it's a girl thing.
I guess maybe she likes me and she doesn't want to, you know,
get played like she's been played in the past.
But sammi would not be the worst person
for me to get serious with.
You know, she makes me happy,
and, like, that's all I really care about.
I was, like, in the zone right there,
making sales as I walk out, like...
[Both laughing]
it's weird, 'cause, honestly, my attitude was like,
don't fall in love at the jersey shore.
I never, ever expected, like, somebody, like,
would, like, catch my eye like ronnie did.
I never expected to, like, really like somebody
as much as I like ronnie.
Me and sammi clicked since,
like, uh, the third day or whatnot.
So ever since then, everything's been pretty good.
We get along well. She's hilarious.
She finds me funny, and, like,
we understand each other, so...
That's pretty hard to find.
Yes, I had sex. Like, hello.
You're gonna have sex if you're into somebody.
It's natural.
Yeah, we smushed.
Have you got any guts yet? I don't kiss and tell, bro.
Listen, we in the barber shop with the boys.
It comes out here. That's it.
Snickers came out of the woodwork.
It was the best thing I ever saw in my life.
Get your ugly a*s out of our faces.
[Sobbing]
[shouting]
get up! Now!
You ready, chief? I'm in the f*ck' zone.
Ah, it's raining already.
This morning, it actually ended up raining.
So we decided that today it was like, you know what?
Let's just get our haircuts. Let's go tanning.
If we got a little time, maybe we'll go to the gym
and then get ready for tonight.
Man, you need that color.
A little touch-up on the paint job.
First impression is everything,
so you gotta stay fresh to death, I call it.
Fresh outfit, fresh haircut,
fresh tan... Just stay fresh.
And then, after that, you better be hitting the gym.
And if you're not hitting the gym for, like, an hour or so,
then, you know, you may have a problem.
Okay, 'cause I'm at the gym for, like, an hour and a half.
You know, I'm working on my fitness.
The barber shop is always fun when we get there.
Everybody's a character. Who's making fun of who?
Ronnie, why you grilling me, son?
Trying to see my style, son?
Obviously my style's working.
Ohh, obviously my style's working too,
if I got with every girl in the house so far.
Still haven't brought home one ten.
Come on, now, if i...
Still haven't brought home one ten.
You bring home one ten, I'll shut my mouth.
Have you got any guts yet?
I don't kiss and tell, bro.
Listen, we in the barber shop with the boys.
It comes out here. That's it.
Everything comes out. I'm not lettin' it out.
We were getting on ronnie at the barber shop today
because he totally went back on what he said.
I mean, he was constantly saying,
"you don't fall in love at the shore,
and you don't sh*t where you eat."
My only rule: never fall in love at the jersey shore.
And that's exactly what he's doing right now.
Ah, man, you let him talk like that?
Nah, it's cool.
He brought home girls, still didn't get none.
Mike would bang a gatorade bottle
if it had a pulse at this point.
Like, seriously, he really would.
Oh, please, please. He's, like, for .
Oh, please. Mike is the man.
What up?
Oh, my god, I'm going outside.
I'm going outside.
[Laughter]
♪ come on ♪
[beatboxing]
♪ ♪
[Phone line trilling]
hello?
Hi. Hi.
How lonely is it at the house?
Oh, I've been keeping busy. It's all right.
Liar. [Laughs]
I miss my mom.
It's hard to call her, because every time I hear her voice,
like, I want to cry.
But it's kind of making me grow up
and, you know, like, be an adult.
You have commitments to do things tomorrow, or...
No, I'm spending the day with you.
Okay. It's your birthday.
I'm really excited for my mom to come,
because I spend every day and night with that girl.
Like, she is my best friend.
I miss you. I miss you too.
All right, well, I'm excited to see you.
Me too.
I'll probably give you a call later.
All right. Okay. Love you.
I love you too. Bye.
The friggin' duck phone.
We're going to karma tonight.
Like, that is my f*cking spot on saturdays.
And when I say, you know, I'm ready to go wild,
I'm gonna go wild.
[Techno music]
♪ ♪
Snooki... Snickers came out of the woodwork,
which was hysterical.
It was the best thing I ever saw in my life.
♪ ♪
This little shrimp thing is, like,
bopping around in the circle and, like,
doing her thing, doing backwards flips,
like, with her thong hanging out.
Her whole crotch is in the air.
♪ ♪
She was phenomenal.
It just made me so proud of her.
I can't explain, like, how f*ck' amazing that was.
I love being the center of attention,
and I feel like once I get the spotlight,
it's gonna be on me all night.
Mike! What?
Who's that, mike? I don't know.
[Laughing] oh, my god, dude.
So I talked to my boy.
He told me you were dancing with pauly all night.
The tool bag with the blow-out. I was not.
We were the f*ck' man at karma.
We were on stage, right in front of the dj booth.
We're dancing with all the chicks,
we're dancing with each other.
♪ I like the girls with the swag ♪
♪ that can give it to me ♪
♪ I like the girls, rip it up ♪
♪ turn it round and do me ♪
♪ hit me on my spot, spot ♪
♪ turn me on a lot, lot ♪
♪ I think I'm gettin' hot ♪
we're beating up the beat.
That's what we say when we're doing our fist pump.
First, we start off banging the ground.
We're banging it as the beat builds.
'Cause that beat's hittin' us and we're fightin' back.
It's like we beat up that beat.
I know jwoww is feeling me a little bit.
Jwoww is funny like that.
Jwoww claims to have a relationship with her boyfriend
but still try to have fun.
If it happens, it happens.
I'm just gonna roll with it and have a good time,
because I'm not trying to fall in love on the jersey shore.
I'm just trying to hook up.
When I go into the club, I have a game plan.
I don't want to waste my time and take home a girl
that just wants to hang out.
I just want to get to the business.
So you line it up, and then you move on.
♪ Hot chicks they make a party ♪
and at the end of the night, you see what you end up with.
♪ Give me your number, and I'll call you ♪
♪ here's my number, you can call me too ♪
♪ move a little closer till I'm stuck on you ♪
♪ stuck on you just like superglue ♪
♪ my hands on your waist, and it feels so right ♪
♪ wanna take you home by the end of the night ♪
♪ give it to me, give it to me ♪
the situation and I are looking to see what we can grab.
And there was these two girls that he's been working on.
He's like, "oh, these girls will come home with us."
I'm like, "all right, that's cool, whatever."
Got nothing else, right? They're the last.
We might as well grab them, right?
Yeah.
All right. This is my boy right here.
What's up? What's going on?
This is pauly. My girl was, like, okay.
But he was feeling the other girl, so I was like,
all right, we'll take these girls home.
Come on, let's go.
I'm going to get pizza right now.
So the girls are coming with us.
We're walking with them.
But then we noticed these two girls in a convertible.
Yo! What up?
So we immediately run over to the car.
It's like... It's like a reflex.
Me and situation see girls, we go right over to them.
So you guys wanna come back and hang out?
The other two chicks were pissed.
They turned around and walked back.
We didn't even care.
Do you wanna hang out or f*ck' not?
Don't f*ck around. Ah, I don't know.
If you want to drive off, it's up to you... Drive off.
Where am I gonna park?
Park right here. I don't live over here.
You got quarters, so get out your car.
There's already a hour.
I told the boys, "don't leave without me."
But they left with broads, like always.
So this guy that I was hanging out with,
that was buying me drinks,
he's not really my type, but he was a funny guy.
So I was like, "you know what? You can walk me home," whatever.
Oh, boy.
I just twisted my ankle.
Really? Come on, come on.
All right, I'm ready. [Grunts]
he's a really good guy.
Like, that's the guy that I need in my life.
Is this bar open? [Laughing]
I think his name is ron.
[Whistling]
oh, wow, what a nice crib you guys got going on here.
So the jacuzzi's definitely warming up right now.
Yeah, it's not happening.
Who is you?
These girls were not- they weren't lame,
but they just, um...
One girl was a little bit more down
to have a little more fun than the other.
Want to see the back? Yeah, let's go see the back.
All right, come on.
But then we go upstairs. We're just bullshittin'.
They don't want to go in the hot tub.
Wow, it's really nice out tonight.
It is nice.
Nice night to go in the jacuzzi.
Not happening.
You know you want to go in. Not happening.
How far are we from the house?
I think we should walk down here.
We try to go back to the house,
and we got lost.
So I was like, "you know what? Whatever.
I'll just go to the beach."
[Gasps] we can watch the sunrise.
Oh, for the love of god. [Laughing]
so we just laid down on the sand.
And it was a nice time.
Wow, it's like a box of tricks in here.
She has a boyfriend for two years too.
[Laughs] see, that's why I'm single.
You are definitely kind of cute.
You definitely are.
I'm "kind of cute"?
Well, it's kind of the way I say it.
You know what I'm saying?
Not to give you too much credit,
but at the same time, I'm attracted to you.
While we were upstairs with the mercedes girls,
the original girls that we were walking home originally
showed up.
[Laughing] [gasps]
oh, my god, barbara.
I can't believe what house I'm in right now.
Wow, like, how do you find stuff...
I got it. [Whistles]
mike! Mike!
What?
Mike!
Oh.
Who's that?
Who's that, mike?
I don't know.
What?
Excuse me one second.
Mike!
What? Are you avoiding me here?
Get your a*s down here.
Oh! [Laughs]
yeah, now he's awake!
And the other one.
[Both laughing]
what are you gonna do with that, dude?
Holy sh*t.
We're like, "what the f*ck are we gonna do?"
So I talked to my boy.
He told me you were dancing with pauly all night.
I was not.
Get your ugly a*s out of our faces.
This kid just hit her.
You hit a girl! [Crying]
[all shouting] you do not hit a girl!
Tell them to come back in minutes.
What are we gonna do with them?
So we now have two girls upstairs
and two girls downstairs.
Tell them to come back in minutes.
You got to come down, dude, and explain
this situation right now.
How did you-[both laugh]
so yes or no? Yes or no?
So me and mike were like,
"well, the upstairs girls are not gonna do it,
so let's just see what we can do."
Whoa, what we're gonna do...
No, what we're gonna do is...
Shh, shh! You, you have a good time.
Shh, be quiet, little italian girl.
We're about kick out those girls right now.
No. Exactly, exactly. I'm down.
I'm down. I'll kick them out for you if you want.
No, that's what I'm saying, 'cause you girls are cuter.
No. I'm feeling you right now.
And I'm about to kick out the girls upstairs.
And if you can respect that, then I will.
If not, then it's up to you.
All right, what do you want to do?
What do you want to do?
So we end up telling the girls upstairs
that, "our roommates are bitching.
They're downstairs right now. You guys have to leave."
And they're like, "all right, no problem.
We were gonna leave anyway."
Walked those two girls downstairs.
We were walking right by the other girls.
Like, "oh, those are our roommates," whatever.
b*tches. Ugly b*tches.
How do you live with them?
They were nice. I will give them that.
But at the same time, I just wanted to fool around.
Bye. Bye. It was nice to meet you.
Wait, wait. Hold up, hold up.
Do have, like, a pen or anything?
Or do you have a pen?
Maybe I might have to give her
a little attention in the future,
but I don't know, maybe not.
All right, bye. It was nice meeting you.
Let's take care of these roommates, bro.
Yeah, I would take care of them too if I was you.
And then we take the two other girls
that we originally were gonna take home.
We take them upstairs,
and we start hanging around with them chicks.
Um, this is not hot.
It is warming up right now, so...
All right, we'll wait.
Yeah. Just chill, right?
It's fine. Can I go to the bathroom?
Show us the house.
Yeah, pauly, you want to take her
and show her the bathroom real quick?
This is hopefully warming up.
Basically, one of these girls
was definitely more cuter than the other,
and it happened to be my girl.
And pauly d. Was with the grenade.
[expl*si*n]
[laughing]
all right, let me get back to it.
So... [Laughing]
that's f*ck' funny.
Uh, when you go into battle, you need to have
some friends with you
so that just in case a grenade gets thrown at you,
you know, one of your buddies takes it first.
I really like alex a little bit.
Alex is, like, my type.
You did like her until these b*tches rolled up in a mercedes.
I know, right?
Like, I'm sorry I don't drive a mercedes.
No, but alex is so my type.
She's, like, dark hair- I like dark hair.
He does like dark hair.
Women are definitely a game. It's like a business.
Like, you got- there's rules to it.
And, like, boys take care of boys,
so, like, that's why I was willing
to take one for the team just so my boy can get some.
And situation would do the same for me.
I need a shot.
Want to get me one?
My girl was f*ck' busted.
So I'm, like... I'm just trying to go with the flow.
And mike's, like, talking with his chick.
And I'm just trying to keep my girl entertained or whatever.
Do you want to go upstairs?
Sure, like, I think all of us should, like...
Me and alex are taking a nap upstairs.
[Laughs]
I would so do your dishes,
but I'm not even trying to do that right now.
It's bothering me, though.
Really? I might have to go soon.
So this blonde chick- she's not even hot,
and she's complaining that she has to be home.
She has work or whatever it is.
She has something to do in the morning.
And I'm like... In my head, I'm like, "well, then go home."
Like, I didn't even want to deal with it anymore.
So maybe if we take, like, a two-hour nap,
we should be straight?
We don't need a nap right now.
That's hypothetically.
I just want to go feel if that hot tub warmed up.
She was annoying. I couldn't stand her.
Can I have a glass of water?
Sure.
I have a certain point that if b*tches are pissing me off,
like, I just... I'll just leave. Like, I can't.
I was entertaining that girl
only 'cause I was taking one for the team for mike.
But she starts talking stupid, and they want to leave,
and it's, like, a waste of time.
I'm not about to waste my time. I was tired.
I turned right around and let mike deal with them two chicks.
They were his chicks, anyway, so let him deal with them.
Pauly immediately fleed the scene
and left me in harm's way.
Where's your friend?
No, it's warming one degree every two hours.
I was taking heavy fire,
and I didn't wear my bulletproof vest.
You know what? It's probably warm, to be honest with you.
It's not warm, to be honest with you.
And I just don't know if I'm gonna make it.
This is a sick hot tub, if it was hot.
This is a sick tub.
I mean, we have probably ten minutes
for it to warm up.
And it's gonna get warmer.
Can I get a lighter, mike?
So I decide to just flee the scene with my girl.
All right, let's get you a lighter.
Come on. No, I got one.
Can I go in here? Let's go in your room.
All right.
We were upstairs, and we're having fun.
We're hooking up.
And we get under the covers.
I don't know what's gonna go down,
but we're under the covers.
Alex?
Alex? What?
I'm leaving. All right, dude, i, like...
You don't want to do this, so...
And then I hear her girlfriend,
like, like, standing over me, like,
"what are you doing under the cov"...
I was just like, "oh, wow."
I'm like, "what is going on right now?"
Calm down, sweetheart. Me?
Stop hating on me and your girl right now,
'cause I like your girl. Me?
Yeah, just... Just...
Pauly, you want to, like, walk this girl downstairs real quick?
I don't give a sh*t.
I'll entertain the chick so my boy can get some a*s,
and then once it gets to a certain point,
if it's taking too long- like, situation took forever.
Like, it should be strictly business...
Jacuzzi, bedroom, take care of business,
and then I got to go to bed.
Nice meeting you, pauly. You too.
That girl was- was, like, a...
She was a b*mb pretty much,
and pauly did not know the code to decipher the b*mb.
That's... You know, that's pretty much
really what happened right there.
Mmm.
You better call me. You're not gonna call me.
I will, I will, I will. I hope you call me.
I will.
Bye.
Ron really made that night.
We just hung out all night, and we had a good time.
He made me laugh.
So I thought, you know,
something was gonna happen there,
but obviously, it didn't,
and i, once again, wasted my time.
My boy told me you were dancing with pauly all night.
We were all dancing with everybody, though.
Yeah. Like, it wasn't, like, sexual.
She just left.
Eww!
Oh, my god, I really didn't want to cry.
[Duck phone quacking]
hello.
Hi. Hi.
So I talked to my boy, and he told me
you were dancing with pauly all night.
I was what?
Dancing with pauly all night.
The boy that snickers tried to go home with, russ,
is friends with tommy.
So tom asked him to keep an eye on me.
And, of course, his d*uche bag friend
said me and pauly were bumping and grinding.
I was not!
He said the tool bag with the blowout.
I don't know who the f*ck else that could be.
For like five minutes, not even.
Swear to god... What?
I swear to god, if you're flirting with this kid,
I'm done, I swear to god.
All right, then I'm hanging up.
[Dial tone]
I don't necessarily know if tommy, like,
he directly said, "keep an eye on her."
Or his boy was like, "tom, I'll keep an eye on her."
But whatever the case may be, he hit him up
asking what I did.
And I think that's really- that's really f*cked up.
We were all dancing with everybody, though.
Yeah. Like, it wasn't like sexual.
Yeah, it was house music.
I'll have fun with anyone. I'll grind with vinny.
I'll get right up in a boy's face.
Just because you see our faces close
doesn't mean I'm full of him.
It wasn't anything dirty. He had no reason to be mad.
No.
Just call him back and tell him.
I danced, but that's allowed.
It's a relationship. You trust the other person.
You know, you love the other person,
but at the end of the day, you gotta let some sh*t slide,
and you gotta be open and stuff.
[Phone line trilling]
hello.
Um, I just want to let you know
that that's f*ck' bullshit.
And even... Snooki even said it herself.
We were dancing to house music,
and we were battling on the floor.
But if you want to be like that,
then we can just end it now.
If this is how you're gonna be every day,
I can't do it anymore.
No, this isn't every day.
This is the first time I got pissed off...
Every day, every day, it's something new, though.
You're threatening me, saying that you're gonna leave me.
Like, if you see sh*t, there's nothing to be seen.
Why don't you ask him what type of music we were dancing to?
Why don't you ask him who else was on the floor
and how we were dancing and what music it was?
I'm pissed off right now.
I don't like hearing sh*t like that.
Hold on, hold on. Snooki, come here.
Explain this. Yeah.
Yo, honestly, like, it was nothing bad.
It wasn't like f*cking r&b, like grinding music.
We were all, like, on the floor, like battling.
It was all house music.
All right.
Like, you have nothing to worry about.
Like, I'm telling you the honest truth.
All right.
And don't get worked up over nothing, okay?
All right, thank you. You're welcome.
[Laughing] there you go. Hello?
Like, I don't get them two.
Like, obviously, he cares about her.
She cares about him.
But they're always fighting
about just stupid random sh*t.
Okay, I miss you.
Miss you too, bye.
All right, bye.
Jwoww is my girl in the house,
but I don't get it.
Well, this morning I'm really excited
because I'm gonna see my mom.
It's her birthday.
You know, I want to hang out with her,
just have alone time with her,
because I haven't seen her in two weeks.
And I'm used to seeing her every day.
Hi!
Hey, mommy! Oh!
It's so good to see you.
Oh, it's good to see you.
So do you like it?
It's nice. Right?
Nice, very nice.
I decided to take my mom to the beach,
just lay out and have a good time.
This looks really dirty too.
Huh? It looks dirty.
This is the jersey shore. [Chuckles]
can I have two for round trip?
Oh!
Mmm!
Will you feel the breeze up here?
Mm-hmm. Sweet.
That's our house.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, it's not that bad.
It just gets lonely 'cause I miss you so much.
And I miss you.
So me and mom are, like, best friends.
Like, we do everything for each other.
We live together.
And the fact that I haven't seen her in two weeks,
it's really hard.
And I can imagine how hard it is on her right now.
It just gets lonely 'cause I miss you so much.
Like, it's annoying.
It's short-term.
Like I said to, like, everybody else,
like, if I didn't come here and do this,
I probably would've never, like,
been able to, like, move out.
'Cause you need just like that first step, you know?
Definitely.
I'm, like, growing. [Chuckles]
this is, like, the first step for me to grow up
and, you know, be on my own.
I would like to find a guy
I could, like, start a relationship with, but...
You can't find a good one here.
No, maybe not.
I think seeing her, like, really put me,
like, back into reality.
You know, like, wow, I really miss home.
So saying good-bye was really, really hard.
Love you. Oh, love you too!
You'll do just fine.
I know.
Have a good time tonight and chill, okay?
Don't cry.
Eww!
I love you a lot.
I love you too.
I'll call you, okay?
[Sniffling]
she just left.
Oh, my god, I really didn't want to cry.
[Sniffling]
she's like my best friend.
Like, I love hanging out with her.
This is, like, the first time
that we've been away from each other.
It's just hard to see her and then have her leave.
[Chuckles and sniffles]
[rock music]
let's get out of here.
Anybody know what time it is?
It is... :.
God, get me out of here, please.I don't want to be depressed about my mom.
Although I love her with all my f*cking heart,
I just want to have a good time with everybody,
and not be that girl that misses her mommy.
Having a good night. Everyone's getting along.
You know, we're all joking around.
We got some music going.
And then, like, scott showed up from work,
and then julio showed up from work.
And it was just like a really, like, great,
friendly, real environment.
Two, two, two!
I think I'm gonna get a drink.
I was feeling like an outcast,
but now I feel like I'm a part of the family now.
They're starting to get to know me, like all of them.
They're like, "you know what, snooki?
You're a real cool girl."
I'm like, thank you! Like, finally!
I haven't sexed yet since I've been here.
We gotta make that happen then.
I don't really want to.
We'll just have a hardcore makeout session.
I like to make out, yeah.
And there was, like, three guys
I believe that were kind of always around us.
Typical fraternity college losers.
Um, you know, at certain points they were, like,
just, like, all over us,
just trying to grub drinks off of us.
Just, like, whatever they can do to get attention from us.
And we kind of see, like, these kids being a problem,
so we're keeping an eye on 'em.
Vinny.
What, what, what, what?
We're getting shots for everyone.
I'm screaming for vinny and ron.
Nobody can hear me. I'm yelling.
So while I was doing that,
those guys took our shots.
That wasn't for you guys.
I'm pretty sure I was first.
Yeah, it's not for you guys, dude.
I just need two more, I'm sorry.
So I try to mediate everybody,
and I try to watch out for everybody.
So I get another three shots...
Just let 'em take 'em. We'll take two for me and you.
And snickers is like, "those are for our friends."
That's not for you!
f*ck you!
f*ck your life, b*tch.
What the f*ck are you talking about right now?
It's not for you. Who are you?
Go away!
It's not for you guys. It's not.
So why don't you pay for those?
Listen, this guy's buying for us.
Shut the f*ck up.
Don't tell me to shut the f*ck up, bro.
I'm not telling you...
Get your f*ck' ugly a*s out of our faces...
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Are you f*cking serious?
She's a sl*t!
[All shouting indistinctly]
[overlapping shouting]
[sobbing] you all right?
[Overlapping shouting]
get away from her.
I'm sorry, nicole. Right here.
Guys! Guys!
You gotta get out.
Dude, she punched me in the face.
I just got punched in the face!
[Sobbing]
you don't f*ck' punch...
[All shouting indistinctly]
you're going to jail.
I've never even f*ck' seen that before!
Who hits a girl?