03x12 - A House Divided

[bunniefuu]

Sam hit me up last week.

She's like, meet me here. What?

Arvin... He's like, I'm supposed to meet sam here.

Here's the texts. My god!

I will f*cking go confront that guy arvin

and mike together. Let's go, do it, let's go.

I want nothing to do with you!

Listen, you got caught, and you know what? Bye!

Sammi, caught you. You sneaky b*tch.

[Laughter]

come in here.

Vinny brought a girl home?

Really?

[Crying]

what'd I do wrong? I don't know.

But she's straight up crying over you right now.

Mike, you're shady as sh*t.

No, don't f*cking yell at him for your mistakes.

You're a shady f*cking person! No, I'm not.

Oh, you hit him up soon as we f*cking break up.

Yeah. Yeah. So f*ck you!

[Get crazy by lmfao]

dj pauly delvecchio!

I'm going to the jersey shore, b*tch!

All right, we got a situation.

I'm the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

[Laughing]

after I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off.

Go vinny! Go vinny!

You like the boobs?

Let me go. I'm not wrong!

You're not- you're never wrong.

You got caught. Admit it!

I'm not caught doing anything.

Let me go! No!

No! Let me f*cking go!

I know what I've done! But I don't.

You're supposed to care about what I know.

That's when you love somebody.

Listen to me- you are so wrong right now.

It's ridiculous. All right. I'm sorry.

A f*cking insincere apology I ever heard in my life.

I don't wanna do this anymore.

You can't get mad at me for this.

I can't get mad at you for this?

Why? Why would you do that to me?

What do you think is going through my head

as soon as I find out that the kid's there to meet you?

I get it- I completely understand

how you're feeling right now.

I understand.

I'm sorry. Honestly... Look at me.

I'm sorry I hit him up.

So if a girl showed up looking for me...

I would k*ll her.

I feel like it's dysfunctional.

Do I look lopsided?

You drunk? No.

No. Really?

I like to punt sh*t.

Aah! Whoa sh*t!

[Laughing]

what the f*ck? [Laughter]

I feel like I'm in a spaceship.

It just so happens

that deena defies the law of intelligence.

[Laughs] I'm stuck!

I can't breathe.

I never thought somebody would make snooki

look like a rocket scientist,

but deena takes the cake.

Cardboard box. [Giggling]

it just seems mad shady.

We been in this house for a month.

You never called arvin.

So why do it when you went home

after you broke up with me?

Maybe to cause a rise out of you,

to get you back, maybe to be spiteful.

It only hurts me because

I would never expect that from you.

-'Cause I don't do that.

But you did.

I don't even know if I love sam at this point.

I'm just kinda... Like "eew" about her.

♪ She cries alone tonight ♪

I don't think I wanna be with a girl like that.

Let's go to bed. Come on.

Please. ♪ Nothing can save her ♪

♪ she decided a long time ago ♪

ron wants nothing to do with me.

I go to sleep in my own bed tonight... Alone.

♪ She's wearing ♪

♪ her heart on her sleeve ♪

completely alone.

♪ And I am stuck here ♪

♪ singing my sad song ♪

two more days of work, and that's it.

This is my last day. Eew!

Why the f*ck am I working wednesday?

Let's get outta here.

I don't know what I was thinking

with a sweatshirt, but this was

the only thing with a license plate on it.

Morning.

How are you three lovely ladies,

ten minutes late?

Is it your last day? I know it's deena's last day.

Wish it were mine.

I better get some work out of you.

You are. When?

Right now.

Today's my last day at the shore store,

I don't wanna deal with frickin' people.

Here. Get on the floor.

I'm just focusing on making myself clothes.

Here, why don't I just do the pants really quick

while you're doing that?

How 'bout you go make a sale?

I will leave you alone all the rest of the time.

No. I'm making this thing right now.

Danny's on my case, and I'm just like, "bro,

"I usually don't even keep a job in the summer."

I'm not trying to, like, do this.

So I was just trying to like live my life.

No, I'm running with scissors in my hand.

I don't understand why you're not yelling at anybody else.

Thank you for officially being the worst...

Worst employee of the season.

Whoo!

♪ I'm waitin' ♪

♪ in the midst of an overload ♪

♪ I am debatin' ♪

♪ every time I try to fly, I end up with ♪

oh, you know what to lick. You know what to lick.

Can we go to this burger place?

Burgers? They have sandwiches too.

Okay. It'll be on me.

Really?

You're cute.

Is that the place where you can make your own burgers?

Mm-hmm. It's so good.

You ever been there? Mm-mm.

You'll love it.

♪ You like me and I like you ♪

[both laughing] jiminy.

Wait'll you see it... Oh.

[Both laughing]

hey. Hey.

What do you want, a burger or a sandwich?

A burger. Turkey or regular?

Turkey.

Are you ready? Think so.

I wanted to ask you about the beer battered onion rings.

You serve them in beer?

Really?

[Laughing] she'll take the whole...

Can I try those? She'll take the whole thing.

No, wait, but I want something else on my burger.

Vinny and i, we're just like friends with benefits.

But the fact that I'm actually starting

to get feelings for the kid- I don't like that at all.

Pauly's girl last night was snoring.

Your girl doesn't sleep?

Yeah, after sex.

Oh.

This girl was f*ck' so cool.

Like she was just nice, comfortable...

She was gross.

We're in seaside. Leave us alone.

It's not always gonna be a dime, you know what I mean?

No. She was, like, gross.

Hello! I'm here to hook up with,

and you still haven't hooked up with me.

What the f*ck is wrong with me?

We like... See you guys every day, you know what I mean?

Like... So?

[Sighs] it's just weird.

No, it's not.

You know, my little relationship with snooki

is kind of like a roller coaster ride.

When I bring girls home

and snooki says how come we didn't make out?

I say I'm sorry, because I want snooki to know

that she's important

and these other girls really aren't important.

Enough crumbs on you? You saving those for later?

I'm a slob when I eat. [Laughs]

the chances that I can actually ever be serious with snooki,

you know, it could get there.

Thanks for dinner, boo. You're welcome.

My pleasure.

It's definitely good to know that I have a girl like that

who I have genuine feelings for.

I like hanging out with you.

Likewise.

You got ice? Come on, bro.

We don't do the ice out here. We gangster.

What is it? Is it a g*n?

What's up with that g*n, bro?

Yeah, my boy's becoming a man.

I just don't trust the girl talking to another dude.

Would she want you, ron,

to hang out with another girl like that?

Why didn't you know about this

throughout the whole relationship,

that she talks to this kid? Trust no b*tch. Ever.

Yo, I wanted to see what I look like with the earrings.

What does it feel like?

Ears pierced- like, infants get that done.

You'd be a pimp with your ears pierced.

Yo, what did I do with those earrings?

Yo, you really gonna go through with this, my dude?

Yeah, buddy! No, I'm scared.

Yeah, buddy!

Ha ha ha ha.

I'm f*ck' scared, bro. Yo.

All the guys in the house are kinda like peer pressuring me

into getting my ears pierced since miami.

So, you know, maybe getting your ears pierced

would be a good look.

You should be. You should be scared.

I'm f*ck' scared, yo!

I don't understand why his ears are not pierced yet.

I got my ears pierced when I was like seven years old.

Yeah, boy! My boy's becoming a man!

You got ice? Come on, bro.

We don't do the ice out here. We gangster.

Come on, man. Toughen up.

What is it? Is it a g*n?

It's alcohol, bro. Fall back!

It's an alcohol wipe. I'm wiping your ear down.

Yo, is this sh*t clean? No, for real.

Stop asking questions. Hold on.

I'm getting a little woozy. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm being a little b*tch about it... I am a little scared.

Don't know what it's gonna feel like.

I just wanna know if we can pierce that.

What's up with that g*n, bro?

B.c., Bro. Be cool.

Straight ahead. Are you gonna hold pauly's hand?

Naw.

All right. Just remember taller.

[Click] oh!

Oh, sh*t, dude, it looks fresh!

Does it? Piercing finally happens.

It's a little pain. I take it like a "g".

I sit there. I don't even flinch.

[Click]

well, you're good.

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, you lookin' fresh to death, bro!

Kinda hurts a little bit.

Oh, dude! Look good?

Yo, he's fresh to death, bro!

You feel different now? 'Cause you look it.

I feel like a g now. I walk with a limp now.

Them earrings changed my man vinny.

He thinks he is the man.

He's even walking with a gangster limp.

Got his hat with a gangster lean.

Vinny thinks he's a man now he got his ears pierced.

You leave it in for how long?

Two, three weeks. Never take 'em out.

No. Leave 'em in the whole time.

You look like a big pimp.

Yo, look at vinny's ears, dog.

Looks so adorable.

Nice earrings, bro.

What time we going out?

I told everybody :.

Do you wanna go out?

With you?

I was thinking maybe we'd go get some wine

and just stay home.

Yeah, I wanna do that.

Yo, pauly. What up?

What's deena's favorite part of mario brothers?

♪ Denim, denim, denim ♪

♪ denim, denim, denim ♪

[humming mario brothers theme]

♪ denim, denim, denim ♪ you like mario brothers?

Whatever. Whoop! Ooh!

I'll do it again.

Whoop! [Making game sounds]

she's like, "whatever. I look good."

Like she thinks she looks good.

And I don't think denim's in anymore.

[Shrilly humming theme]

yo, we out. You guys coming with us or no?

Nicole, we're going before you, okay?

They don't wanna wait. Okay.

Have fun, guys. Bye. Love you.

Love you guys.

[Engines rev]

hel-lo!

That means he has a small p*nis.

[Dance music plays]

♪ ♪

I'm looking for hot girls to dance with me.

What are we, f*ck' ugly?

What the hell?

Grenades?

Through the grenades,

I'm always like looking to find like the one flower

that's in the weeds.

I got a couple cute ones dancin' on me,

and I turn around...

Vinny!

And I see danielle just lookin' at me like this.

You gotta be twisted.

Pauly d's stalker danielle.

What a big surprise.

Do you want to get beat up by an israeli chick?

No. Not tonight.

I'm like, "holy sh*t!"

I can't get away from this girl.

She ends up at the same exact clubs I'm at.

Now, there's a lot of clubs in seaside.

We only go to a few.

Are you done with your grenades?

Nope.

Danielle wants to come to your house tonight.

No, she doesn't. Why not?

She's not.

Want me to punch you?

Do whatever you gotta do.

Danielle has plans

to kidnap pauly

and slowly, slowly cut his blow out down to nothing.

So you don't want to go to the house?

Nah.

[Dj in background]

danielle is the only thing

that scares me in seaside.

She's everywhere I turn around.

I'm not going anywhere alone.

There's things I've said that I'm not proud of.

You know that, right?

And I'm sorry.

Can I have more mustard?

I'm sorry.

I feel stupid.

I'm apologizing to ronnie,

and I don't blame him for feeling the way he does,

'cause it looks much worse than what it is.

I'm mean.

Here, I'm mean.

I'm sorry. It's all right.

Now I know how she felt in miami.

Well, not really,

but I got a taste of how she felt in miami.

Like I learned it's better to just come clean

than to find out the hard way.

I miss you.

I really do.

Right now, me and sam definitely have trust issues.

Pretty good.

My night alone with ronnie,

surprisingly, is going amazing.

Want some sauce with that?

♪ ♪

♪ All I know is ♪

♪ tonight's my lucky night ♪

♪ will salvation be mine ♪

we're cleaned up, right?

So grab your clothes.

Why?

Sleeping upstairs, no? With you?

In your bed?

♪ The girl's showing some skin ♪

♪ they'll be judged for their sins ♪

♪ show me wonders ♪

I definitely think the house is gonna have their opinions,

but what are you gonna do?

♪ For just one night ♪

♪ let's start pretending ♪

♪ for just one night ♪

[dance music continues]

♪ ♪

No, I know I'm a grenade,

but you guys are fine as hell.

I'll be your grenade. It's okay.

You heard what she said? I heard.

That's not nice.

Aztec tonight is the worst I've ever seen it.

There's nothing but to -year-old women

dancing all over the place.

♪ ♪

They should call aztec leftovers tonight,

'cause this is where all the leftovers hang out.

You wanna dance with me?

Holy sh*t!

Look out, everybody!

The biggest chick I've ever seen in my entire life

was trying to hook up with me.

What the hell?

Holy sh*t!

Holy sh*t!

Aztec is full of warriors,

but this warrior takes the cake.

This is the mother of all warriors.

You guys- aah!

I'm an old lady who likes to party.

Aah! What the hell are you doing here?

This woman is not a grenade.

This woman is an atomic b*mb

about to blow up.

If this lady blows up, there'll be no more aztec.

There'll be no more boardwalk.

What the hell!

[Rumbling]

[knock at door]

who the f*ck is at the door right now?

Who are you? Her brother.

Why is your brother in my house?

What the hell?

Is mike even here?

I have no idea.

You are f*cking sh1tting me, man.

Dude, I couldn't get out. I got locked in.

You know what, mike? You're fired.

Get outta here.

[Dance music plays]

♪ ♪

At this point,

we're so fed up with the girls at aztec,

we're just taking 'em back and see what the hell happens.

Ready? Let's go.

Come on girls. I didn't wear my heels.

Don't fall though. It's a bad look.

Where's my shirt? You found it?

You want to go down? I want to smush again. Do you?

Damn, it stinks in this house.

Smells like band-A*DS. This is my home.

This is michael. Nice to meet you.

Katie.

I live here. Not in seaside, but...

You having one? Yeah, I'm gonna sit here.

Why so sad?

Cheer up. Where's your girl?

I wasn't feeling anybody tonight.

It's a grenade-free america.

What are you trying to say?

You saying I'm a grenade? No. [Laughs]

to be honest with you,

they weren't that bad-looking.

But there was a bunch of grenades in aztec.

And when you're dealing with a bunch of grenades,

it's like you're dealing with the best-looking ugly chick.

You wanna just like have fun while we take shots?

Uh, yes. My girl's having fun.

I'm having fun.

I'm putting in work with my girl.

I'm making her feel comfortable, drinking with her.

Yo, this is dj pauly d!

[Humming, laughing]

[knock at door]

somebody's knocking at the door.

I got this one.

Who the f*ck is at the door right now?

Come on in.

It's her brother.

Why is your brother in my house?

My girl was dtf,

but sometimes when family gets involved,

uh, you know, it just gets a little bit too weird.

What the hell?

Erin, why is your brother in my house?

Everybody's comin' at me!

So what's the plan?

Are you taking the girls from the house right now?

Is that what you're trying to do?

No. Absolutely not. So what's the plan?

I'll go home tonight.

If not, I'll come back tomorrow morning.

He pretty much wants to know how you're getting home

and how you're getting home.

If you're not leaving tonight, he's gonna go home.

In my mind, like a light bulb went off.

I'm like, ding! I'm like, here's my out.

Yeah, buddy. Can you give her a ride now?

Can you give her a ride now with you?

Can you give her a ride tomorrow?

Yeah.

All right, let's do it.

Sounds like a plan. Plan distinguished.

[Laughing] he's gonna give...

Her a ride tonight and her a ride tomorrow.

Let's go! You're a f*ck' d*ck.

Oh!

I like that! Stand up for yourself, girl.

I'd rather do mike anyway, so...

Oh!

[Laughter, chatter]

seriously, that's f*cked up.

I don't mind leaving them.

You f*cking d*ck. You got it.

You're the hero. Go. Take 'em home.

They're both gonna go home with you.

Oh, both!

They're both gonna go home with you.

At this point, it's getting a little too awkward,

so girls gotta get the f*ck out.

I just wanna say...

I think it's just better

if you don't say anything.

Take care. Brush your hair.

No, that's the door right there.

That's the door right there.

Wow! Vinny g steppin' up!

Nice to meet you. I love you guys.

I haven't seen vinny g like this.

I know you're busy. Hate to bother you.

Whoa! What the hell?

Those piercings changed him.

Dude, let's be real.

You didn't come here for pastries

and, like, coffee.

You came here to do sex with pauly and vinny.

You embarrassed yourself.

Naw, vinny, vinny, you did the right...

I was looking at her f*ck' face,

I'm like- there's no way in the world

that girl can ever come in my bed.

All right, come on, snooki.

Oh!

Wow! I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I love you.

Wow! That's f*cked up.

I'm kidding. Kidding... I love you.

Kidding! Nicole, nicole, I love you.

Seriously, get off. Nicole, I'm kidding.

You know, I'm not anybody's last resort.

I'm somebody's first priority.

And I'm not gonna deal with that with vinny.

Punch me. Punch me.

Nicole, punch me.

Vinny- punch me, I'm sor...

I'm just kidding!

No, stop, stop, nicole.

Nicole, I'm kidding, idiot.

Seriously? No, stop.

You're an as*h*le.

See my girl sam?

She's the sneakiest b*tch you'll ever meet!

All: oh!

Yo, you better watch where you sleep tonight, my dude.

Why are you getting involved in my business?

Yo, yo, first of all, he didn't say

that you guys were friends.

He's like, "she's with ron? She told me he ended it."

That's a crock of sh*t.

All: oh! Wow!

I'm just kidding!

You just f*cked yourself.

It was a joke.

You always f*ck' do sh*t like that.

Like what? Like what? Like what?

Like what? I'm just kidding.

Snooki had every right to be mad at vinny

because vinny was a d*uche bag.

And after kicking out the girls

that he was supposed to d.t.f. With,

he pretty much played out snooki in front of everybody.

It wasn't nice.

Nicole, I'm serious. Stop. I'm kidding.

No, you always say that sh*t when you're drunk.

I always? This is the first time I ever did it.

It was a f*ck' joke.

Every time you say you're drunk you're like,

"oh, come snuggle me. Come do this, come do that."

You do that sh*t. I don't do that sh*t.

You do that sh*t.

I don't even get vinny,

'cause when he's drunk he says one thing.

And then he's sober, and he says another.

When we're both sober,

that's when I want to talk to you.

Nicole, you do that- what?

When snooki's drunk, she tries to snuggle with me.

I want nothing to do with it.

And then when I'm drunk,

snooki wants nothing to do with me.

You know, because I'm doing the same thing to her.

When you don't have girls here,

that's when you want to cuddle with me.

And that's like putting me in second place.

I don't like that.

I'm sorry!

Okay.

Let's go have sex.

See what I mean?

I'm kidding. I know you like sex, idiot.

Stop.

Get off.

No, stop. I wanna talk to you.

Every time I want vinny, he says no.

So it's not fair to me.

And if I give in like that,

it makes me look like a stupid a*s.

So I'm not playing that game.

You're going to bed with me.

No, I'm not. Yes, you are.

Don't touch my ears. They just got pierced.

Wrap your legs around me. No, I don't want to.

You've changed, bro.

Uh-oh.

We're gonna have sex in the air.

Yo, what did this guy drink?

I swear he didn't have that much to drink.

Are they making out?

Yo, he had, like, two drinks, bro.

Even though it's a joke, it's not funny.

It's like you're making me look like an as*h*le.

Yo, I wanted to talk to you

yo, tables have turned.

I wanted to talk to you, bro.

You put earrings on, bro.

Nicole, I want...

Seriously I thought we were closer than that.

For real.

I thought we were closer than that.

For real.

Yo, you like my new jordans,

the kool-aid kicks?

Look at what I did, vin.

Are you f*cking serious?

Deena, get the f*cking kool-aid off the white right now.

Don't yell at my roommate.

Ooh. Yo.

Vinny is being the ultimate d*uche bag right now.

Like, get the hell out of here.

She wants a battle, bro.

Battle me. I'll battle.

I'll battle you right now, bro.

All right, go. Start.

Yo, sam. You got no plan.

I'm the man.

You're just a fan.

Ohh!

Yo, vin, you should go in.

But you'll never, ever beat someone like me.

[All cheering]

yo, go home, bro.

Yo. Holy sh*t.

Retaliate? Of course.

Can I retaliate? Oh, of course.

Say something mean. Yo, sam.

I won't say mean things.

You need to sit in your seat.

See my girl sam?

She's the sneakiest b*tch you'll ever meet.

[All cheering]

that was awesome!

That was awesome!

That was a f*cking- that was a blast!

That was a good time!

Oh, he slipped on his feet.

Your turn. Game over.

Aww!

Wah-wah.

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

Like, do you really think that?

Like, that's not okay to sit there and say that to me.

Yo, you fell, son. That was dope.

You see him fall? That's what he gets.

You see those eyes she gave you though, bro?

Yo, you better watch where you sleep tonight, my dude.

I know.

[Hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

♪ And that's cool ♪

♪ I can see you straight obvious ♪

♪ ain't nobody here ♪

♪ got any fear of any consequence ♪

♪ I'm back for the cash order ♪

♪ this is class w*r ♪

♪ and I'm sleeping with the enemy ♪

♪ enemy, enemy, enemy ♪

♪ ♪

Store's gonna be nice and slow today.

Think so? I think so.

Last day of work.

Good morning, guys.

Looking forward to this day.

So you're giving me % today.

Oh, %. I like that.

Enjoy this, fellas.

It's the last time you'll do it in .

So you like this?

Now what is your name? Jenni.

She's preggers. Oh.

Morning sickness. It's really getting bad.

You know how that goes.

Where'd mike go?

Is mike even here?

I have no idea.

I'm just a little groggy, a little tired.

Today's the last day, so I'm slacking I guess.

Did he have to do something or...

Maybe he's laying down over there.

Mike is the worst shore store employee.

He doesn't wanna work.

I always see him just sleeping on the job.

But I don't mind it.

I can do a job for three people all in one.

Who's next?

You see mike?

Mike?

Yeah, the mike that works for me.

You are f*cking sh1tting me, man.

Dude, I couldn't get out. I got locked in.

Oh, yes.

I'm boxed in right now, bro.

I thought I was getting a strong day outta you today.

You did get a strong day. I got locked in.

I got a strong half hour outta you.

I got locked in.

You promised me a good day

after yesterday's sleeper.

I catch you napping in there.

You know what, mike? Mike, you're fired today.

I gotta be honest with you.

Whoa.

I'm fired? You should fire him.

You're fired. Get outta here.

Oh, my god. Busted!

Getting fired from the shore store,

people never amount to anything.

Mike told ronnie's mom everything that happened.

Just now.

[Gasps]

I'm gonna go punch him in his f*cking face right now.

♪ Ohh ♪

what's wrong with you?

I can't see at all.

I slept in my contacts 'cause I was drunk off wine.

I didn't even think.

What a terrible move I did.

I leave my contacts in last night.

What am i, mental?

Like, I literally can't open my eyes right now.

I can't see anything. I feel like I'm going blind.

Now I'm, like, blind. Did you and ron have sex?

Anyway. Samantha.

It's been a long time, nicole.

That's why you don't drink wine.

Why? It's okay. I wanted to.

Oh, you got it in.

I can't even, like, see anything right now.

You want me to drive you to the doctor?

Uh, yeah.

Ready?

[Phone quacking]

hello.

My name is connie. Ron's mom?

Hi.

He's not here right now.

Do you want me to tell him that you called?

Yeah. Okay, absolutely.

I love you.

What?

Hello?

I'm here. Okay.

I'm tan.

I am tan.

That's awesome.

Go tan.

I look indian.

You look indian?

Yep.

Oh, man.

I'm just like, what the hell?

Um, I don't...

Hey, hold on one second.

Hello.

Who's this? Jenni.

Hey, jen. Hey, what's going on?

I didn't know it was "j".

He's breaking my heart.

Oh, I'm sorry.

He f*cked up in miami.

He f*cked up in miami.

Come on, jwoww. You know that.

I know.

Ronnie's mom calls extremely intoxicated,

and she's going on and on and on

about the ron and sam drama.

And I'm just like, can I get off the phone now?

It was either that or just, like, b*tch.

f*ck'...

Mike.

Yeah?

It's ronnie's mom.

And she wants to talk to me?

Yeah, she wants to talk to somebody.

Who's that, ron's mom?

Yeah.

Mike wants to talk to you.

Ron's mom, she is a real sweetheart.

Seemed like she wanted to talk to somebody.

Unfortunately, there is no classic spin move

to get out of this one.

I don't know, mike. What are we gonna do?

I don't know.

They love each other but...

No, that's the truth.

It wouldn't be for my mother too.

And enough is enough.

One of my friends, you know, came up to me

and, you know, was like, uh,

that he was supposed to hang out with sam or something.

I got into a huge fight with sam.

And I told him, "listen, you got caught,

and I caught you personally."

But it comes to the point where I pretty much told sam,

"listen, like, I'm sticking up for ronnie,

and I don't like you."

But he doesn't even understand.

Anyways, I will have ronnie call you back.

All right. Bye, sweetheart.

Wow, ronnie's mom's gangster.

I wouldn't touch those jell-o shots

with your d*ck.

[Laughs]

I'm using new cups.

Yo, ronnie's mom was on the phone with me

for, like, a half hour. For what?

I was trying to be respectful.

She asked for me on the phone.

I pick up, and I didn't want to disrespect her.

[Overlapping talking]

by, you know, talking on the phone

but not getting off the phone with her.

But she's like, "I don't want, you know,

ron and sam to be together."

Tell her nobody does. Yeah, I said that.

[Phone quacks]

two things. f*ck you.

Please clean that bathroom upstairs.

And two, your mom's drunk-dialing all day.

Hello. Is she really?

I miss you. Hold on a second.

Your mom again.

What'd she say to you?

Oh, no.

Yo, I had a half-hour conversation

with ron's mom today.

I was like, you know, I was trying

to be respectful with her.

I'm like, "yo, well, you know, ron's not here."

And, you know...

I'll tell you later, you know.

Mike's on the phone for, like, a half hour

to ronnie's mom.

It's, like, weird to me.

Mike told ronnie's mom everything that happened.

Just now. Why?

Don't say anything yet. Wait till you talk to him.

Are you f*cking kidding?

You're embarrassing me. You're embarrassing yourself.

Okay, stop, stop, stop. Do you understand me? Stop.

Because I will yank the phone right out of the wall

and you won't be able to get in touch with me.

I'm gonna go punch him in his f*cking face right now.

He's a f*ck' dirty little f*ck' grimy scumbag.

You're embarrassing me. You're embarrassing yourself.

You're embarrassing our family.

Mike is a f*ck' d*uche bag.

He was on the phone telling your mom

everything that went on here the other night.

I don't like that.

I'll f*cking k*ll him right now.

Why would he tell her that?

Ron, I'm like this.

If I see him I might...

Like, that's how I feel right now.

What I'm going to do is I'm going to call her,

and you can be right next to me.

I wanted him to say everything

he could possibly say,

and then you could dispute it.

Why are you getting involved in my business?

I'm looking out for him. You're being shady!

♪ I won't bow down to no man ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Not even if you have a car ♪

I don't like that.

I'll f*cking k*ll him right now.

Why would he tell her that?

Ron, I'm like this.

If I see him I might...

That's how I feel right now.

I knew something was going on with my son.

Okay, stop, stop, stop. You understand me? Stop it.

She's not my daughter.

Mom, I'm gonna ask you one more time.

Listen to me for a minute. Listen to me.

Listen to me for f*ck' one minute.

I've asked you multiple times. Listen to me.

Listen to me. Good-bye, good...

My mom's not happy with sam.

You know, the text conversations

with sam and f*ck' arvin, that's bullshit.

And I'm like, at this point, it's not okay.

I need to know the truth.

What did b.b.m. Say?

I'm going through some sh*t right now.

He wanted to meet at karma.

I heard rumors contrary to what sam has told ron.

And ron needs to know about this.

This dude I used to hang out with and used to hang out...

Sam used to be in the girl clique.

That was the dude clique.

No joke, I'm not gonna lie,

I swear on my little sister,

she sweated this kid. She sweated this kid.

I don't know if they hooked up. I thought they did.

I know that's hearsay.

This is the dude that if it don't go through with him,

she wants to get with that m*therf*cker for real.

You guys don't see that sh*t?

Come on.

Could you guys, like, maybe neutral it,

because, like, you hit up a girl in miami?

But they already neutraled that.

We started it clean here.

And I say they start with a zero-zero,

because he admitted his wrongs to that.

This girl's still never admitting.

She's denying, or whatever it is.

But she leaves the house for one day

and hits this guy.

I don't like that.

I saw the way the kid looked.

It was like, why is she here with him?

You know what I mean?

Like, I saw the look in his eye.

That's not a friend.

I'm pretty sure that ronnie's getting brainwashed

by mike at this point,

and I think all the boys are brainwashing ronnie.

It's crazy. I...

Yeah, she's totally wrong.

What you decide to do is your choice.

She shoulda called- she called you,

some girlfriends, her sister, her mother.

Not some random dude

that comes to meet her at a club by himself.

He came by himself.

It kinda seemed like mike's stirring the pot

and being an instigator,

but I think mike is actually being a friend

and looking out for me.

Dude, I'm not having it, dude.

I have to f*ck' protect this kid.

He's crying on my shoulder.

He orders her roses, and then she texts this kid?

It's principle that she- the intention.

And that intention, once you cross that line,

that intention line, it's f*ck' horrible.

It's no good.

You do not let a girl do this to you.

You're getting played, punked, disrespected.

I feel very strongly about this.

He did come by himself, right?

Yeah.

What's going on?

Looks like they're all talking.

You were just out there. What'd he say?

Mike was trying to say something like,

he was like, "this is the dude that she'll be with

if she's not with you."

Hell no.

I walked away. Hell no.

I stumbled upon it.

The kid came up to me, he's like, "yo, where's sam?"

I was like, "what?" "Where's sam"?

You know what I mean?

And that was never supposed to be found out.

Am I right?

That was never supposed to be found out.

The kid bumped into me.

The first thing I did when I walked up to sam...

You were with sam, and I had bumped into her.

I'm like, "you really didn't think I knew this kid?"

And then she goes, "f*ck you,"

and she walked by me when I first saw you guys, man.

What are you saying?

I need to know what you're saying right now.

No, we're talking to ron.

I'm talking to you.

All right, what do you want to talk to me about?

Are you telling ron that if I'm not here with ron

I'm gonna be with arvin? No, no, no.

We're having a conversation right now.

Why are you getting involved in my business?

I'm not involved in your business.

Especially when you know arvin's my...

It's just shady. You're being shady

when you know arvin's my friend.

He told me... He said that you were contacting him to chill.

That's what he said. No.

That's what he said.

Now you're being a schemer and a scumbag,

and I don't like it. I'm looking out for him.

I don't like you. I just don't like you.

I don't like you either. I just don't like you.

I like ron. I don't like you.

I'm worried about this relationship.

Yo, yo, first of all when I did speak to him...

Relax. I'm talking to you.

He didn't say that you guys were friends.

What'd he say to you? He says, "where's sam?"

I go, "she's with ron." He's like, "she's with ron?

She told me to meet her here."

That's what he said to all of us.

That's a crock of sh*t.

Did you say to him, "are you guys friends"?

No, no, no, I said to him- I said to him...

'Cause you know him. No, no, no...

You're a crock of sh*t.

You're a crock of sh*t!

You're a piece of sh*t.

You are the worst argument person ever.

All you do is keep repeating "you're a piece of sh*t."

I can't even, like, get an answer out.

You don't answer anything.

All you say is, "you're a crock of sh*t."

You are a crock of sh*t.

I've been trying so hard

to make this relationship, like, better and happy.

And mike's, like, gonna ruin us.

We're never gonna make it.

What I'm going to do is I'm going to call,

and you can be right next to me.

I wanted him to say everything he could possibly say.

I do not want you to jump in.

Everybody could be there, and then you could dispute it.

I look at sam, and I can see it in her face

that something's fishy,

something's not right.

And, you know, if I find out that more stuff goes down,

that's when I'm gonna f*ck' lose it.

I really have nothing to hide, ron.

Find the number. Get me his number.

Because I'm not a sneaky person.

I'll call him. I'll call him.

He was a friend. You got the number, mike?

I can get it.

You're a sneaky b*tch, and I'm glad...

You don't know me!

What I'm gonna do is I'm going to call,

and everybody could be there.

And then you could dispute it.

You're a piece of sh*t.

He's ordering you roses,

and the first thing you do is call arvin.

Smart move.

I didn't get the roses when I did that.

All right, here's another thing.

When's the last time you spoke to arvin though?

All the time when I'm home.

He's a friend. He's my b.b.m. Friend.

That's not what he spoke to me about.

That's just weird. That's sketchy.

What is sketchy?

If it wasn't for mike,

I woulda never known that arvin showed up for you.

You're a sneaky b*tch, and I'm glad I caught you.

You don't know me!

You're very sketchy. You're just very sneaky.

I don't even wanna... I don't even wanna talk to you.

Even though I really didn't like her that much,

I respected her and thought she was a good girl.

You've been put on blast.

Now she's a sneaky b*tch.

I don't like her, and I don't care.

We all know where his intentions are.

I hate mike.

If I'm with a girl and she texts another dude

"what's the weather like outside?"

I still don't trust it, you know what I mean?

Exactly. I just don't trust the girl

talking to another dude, that's just me.

That's just me.

What was said, what was this,

I think that's irrelevant.

Would she want you, ron, to hang out with another girl?

And why would she tell all her friends to come to karma?

We go to karma.

Ronnie, all his sh*t was out in the open,

and he admitted to all his sh*t.

Ronnie didn't even know about this dude,

and supposedly this is sammi's "friend."

That's bullshit.

The whole friend thing, why didn't you know

about this throughout the whole relationship,

that she talks to this kid?

Trust no b*tch ever.

I'm not a bad person.

No, you're not. You're a very sweet person.

You didn't do anything.

The only thing that they can argue

is that you were hitting up dudes to be like,

"yo, meet me out.

I'm single. I wanna do me."

But you were single.

Like any other girl

hit up her best-looking dudes

like you do when you're single,

and you bring them out to the nightclub

that you know your ex is gonna be at.

If I knew tom was gonna be there,

I'd bring f*cking ten rogers to the same place

and sh*t on him.

But of course, like, mike is mind-f*cking him, okay?

Totally.

Mike is not real.

All right, yo, now I'm going to talk on the phone

with this kid like he's my best friend.

So I can get sh*t out of him, all right?

You're about to see the real deal, dog.

Two days ago ron was saying

how much he f*cking hated mike,

how he was gonna call mike out.

And now, like, he's listening to him.

That's his boy.

He's not your boy.

You wanna believe the guys, go ahead.

I'm done with it.

Forget you, ron.

After everything, bye.

For the th million time, I say I'm done.

Like, f*ck it, I'm done.

[Line ringing]

hello.

Arvin. What's up, bro?

There's a situation right now.

I mean, between me and you,

ronnie, he just wants to know the deal.

He's like, "if they hooked up, they hooked up, whatever.

It is what it is," you know what I mean?

So...

We were hanging out a lot the summer

that, you know, when you and me were hanging out.

I thought you guys hooked up last year.

Did you guys ever hang out in that fashion

or is it always friends?

We've always gone out together and stuff like that,

and, like, we made out.

Made out here and there.

There's always been something there,

and she hits me up from time to time.

She hits you up from time to time.

Yo, dude. What up?

Yo, bro, I don't care.

Have you ever hooked up with sam?

Nah, not like that.

You never made out with sam?

Yeah, we have.

f*ck this.

Wait, man, hold on, hold on. f*ck this b*tch.

I'm done with her f*ck' sh*t.

Biggest liar I ever met in my life.