06x06 - Let's Make It Official

[bunniefuu]

Stop, stop.

It is a crazy brawl
right now.

Stop!
I know who you are.

Stop!
Roger pushed me down,

And I'm livid.

No!
Who are you?

You're a d*ck.

Looking at your foot,
there's evidence

Of what's called
a navicular fracture.

You're gonna need to see
an orthopedic surgeon, okay?

Oh, my god!

Come here.
Paula found the combination

To the situation's safe.

It was good sex

And some chocolate-covered
strawberries in the morning,

And I might
have to...

"Will you go out with me?"
Yeah.

Whoa.
Yeah.

Self-

I am drunk.

Whoo!

I am, like, bombed.

No! No!
Come here, come here.

Deena just got arrested.
What?

Come on.

Dj pauly delvecchio!

I'm going to jersey shore,
b*tch!

All right,
we got a situation.

I'm the sweetest b*tch
you'll ever meet.

After I have sex with a guy,
I will rip their heads off.

Go, vinny! Go, vinny!

You like the boobs?

♪ Do something crazy ♪

I want
to run everywhere.

Whoo!

I'm running
faster than you.

No! No!
Yes, come here.

I don't want to be in trouble.
I don't want to.

D, what happened?
I don't want to.

D, what happened?
Dancing in the street.

You can't block traffic
like that.

What do we have to do now?

Should we just wait?
Drunk... Drunk tank, pretty much?

D? What the f*ck?

She's going
to the drunk tank.

No.
She's going to the drunk tank.

That's it.
Why?

She's going
to drunk tank.

My heart, like,
went into my stomach

Because I'm like,
"oh, god."

Like, we finally got d
out of her funk of crying,

And now she gets taken away
in handcuffs.

I need to lea-
she's by herself.

She's going
to the drunk tank.

That's it.
You get drunk in public,

You get dragged to the drunk
tank, that's what happens.

She just wanted to keep
standing out there.

She's fine.
What are you crying for?

Because I just-
everyone goes

To the drunk tank.
You get drunk...

I'm not you.

There's nothing we can do,
so can we go keep drinking,

Though, or...

I've been through
this process before.

I know it's gonna take
a couple hours.

We could go home, sit around
the phone, and do nothing,

Or we could just do
what a meatball would do.

My friend just got arrested,
like...

They're gonna
sober her up,

And then she'll be fine
later on.

Let's walk to ej's.

You know what they say,
"when in rome, keep on rolling.

When in seaside,
keep on drinking."

Three soco limes.
Ron, really?

I got a new plan.

How 'bout
I get really, really drunk,

And I get arrested,
and I can go hang out with deena

In the jail cell?
Would you feel better?

Yeah.
No.

I can't lose
both my meatballs.

Nothing wrong with a little
chocolate-covered strawberry

In the morning, you feel me?
Yeah.

Let's do some errands today.
Down with that.

I'm ready.
Let's roll.

♪ ♪

It was very nice of paula
to send me a gift basket.

You know what I'm saying?
I know.

For anybody to do that
is nice, you know?

I'm gonna go tanning real quick.
Cool.

I kinda been seeing paula
for the last four summers,

And I am definitely considering
asking paula to be my girl,

And that's a huge step
for the situation

'Cause I haven't had a
girlfriend in a very long time.

What's up, paula?
Hi.

Thanks for the, um,
strawberries and stuff.

Mm-hmm.
Did you like 'em?

Yeah, it was nice.
It was nice.

She's always
laying in the cut.

You look cute in,
uh, little slippers there.

I love these slippers.
You do?

All right,
everything's on high.

You really don't need
to touch anything.

All right. You look hot.
Thank you.

All right,
I'll see you in a minute.

Okay.
Last night,

Me and paula
had a really good night.

You know, not only
did we have good sex,

But the girl sent me some
chocolate-covered strawberries

In the morning
after the good sex.

Um, maybe we can go
out to dinner

On monday or something.
Let's do it.

All right, cool.
Mmm, you're the best.

All right,
see you later.

My plan is
to take paula out to dinner

And ask her out
in a really cool way.

You know where you want
to go to dinner?

Oh, we'll go to rivoli's.
Okay.

All right,
I'll call you later.

Bye.
Bye-bye.

Bro, rivoli's?
Bro, it's one

Of the nicer restaurants
around here.

Whoa, that's serious,
taking her to rivoli's, bro?

Cheers to deena
getting arrested.

Like, drunk now.

Yeah, more of that,
keep 'em coming.

Another one, ron?

Drunk tank.
It's not the end of the world.

She'll be all right.
Say...

Can you explain to her,
she'll be okay?

She'll be okay,
she'll be okay.

She's just got
to sleep it off.

I know,
but she's new at this.

Well, she's learning
the hard way.

It's the only way
to learn.

Yeah, but today was,
like, her day.

It was her day.
It was, like, her day.

Today was definitely her day.
Today was, like, her day.

Drop some out
for my homegirl.

A little bit for deena
on the floor.

I love you.

Ew.
Not too much.

I think we should
pick up some stuff,

Like a basketball hoop.
Let's put it in the back.

Yeah.

Mvp's gonna hit up
the sporting goods store,

'Cause sundays we stay in,
we relax, have sunday dinner,

So we want some activities
to do after dinner,

So we don't have
to listen to these girls

Ramble on
about their boyfriends.

Where's
their basketball hoops?

I want to get a fishing pole.

I need this thing.

Torso bob.
That's the last one.

It looks
kinda like you, mike.

How are we gonna fit this
in the car?

I don't know.

There you go.

You're coming with me,
sucker.

What the f*ck
is this thing?

Like, is this for, like,
all-purpose terrain?

Maybe I should get this
for snooks, yo.

You should get it,
bro.

I should, right?

Snooki has been so negative
all the time with me,

And getting this stroller
right here could be

The good gesture that
could totally turn me around.

Yo, snooks would love this,
dude.

That's serious.

This is a serious stroller.

Look at the wheels.

You can't go wrong
with this sucker, dude.

Like, it's a schwinn.
Like, you what it...

Like, they have
the schwinn bicycles and...

It's got a brake on it.
This is a serious stroller.

Dude, what's up?

You could take a kid
to karma in that, probably.

Mike feels that

If he buys nicole
this stroller,

That she'll forgive him
for everything he has done.

I know nicole's
not gonna accept this gift,

But it's still funny to me
to see him buy this big,

Crazy,
elaborate stroller.

Think snooks
is gonna forgive you,

Now you got her
a stroller?

I mean,
she should.

She better
f*cking forgive you.

It's in my f*cking nuts
right now.

I'm drunk.
Let's play the dart game.

Whoo!
Dude!

Whoa!

Oh, my god,
my friend's in jail,

And I'm, like,
going to play a game.

Let's play this game.

We need to find somebody sober
and go get her.

Yo, let's go
pick up deena.

She just got arrested before.
Deena just got arrested.

Shut up.
Deena got arrested.

What?
Deena got arrested.

For public intoxication.
Wow.

Deena was
in the middle of the street.

At least it's not me
this time!

It's about time.
Like, she's a meatball.

Of course
she's gonna get arrested.

I was just waiting
for this moment.

I got bail money.

Well, we're bombed,
so we can't drive.

We're gonna walk there.
She can drive. Let's go.

Is it wrong that
we took shots, though, after?

Oh, my god!
What am I gonna do?

Ruin my day
'cause she wants to dance

In the middle
of the street?

This is
so dysfunctional.

Deena's getting arrested,
ron and sam are drunk.

Like, you know
it's a f*cked up world

When I'm the most responsible
one in the house.

I feel like a mom, getting
my degenerate child out of jail.

My two drunk kids in the back
and my cr*pple.

Like a f*cked up
brady bunch.

I just wanted to do, like,
a meatball day.

The judge isn't gonna go,
"oh, deena,

Okay,
you had a meatball day."

Serious hot flashes
right now.

Don't judge me.

It's probably
the best way to defrost anything

In this house.
Oh.

Just put it on snooki.

Where's jail?
Left at the light.

Deena got arrested,

So we have to get our meatball
out of jail.

Pull up behind this car here.
Yeah.

Customer parking.

Should we go in?
Uh, yeah.

All: oh!
Here we go.

We finally get
to the jail,

And who's there?
Her parents.

Hey, mom!
Is she here, or is she inside?

Are you freaking out?

She called me,
she was hysterical crying.

She got drunk-tanked.
You're not upset, are you?

She got drunk-tanked.
She'll be all right.

Let's just warn you
before you go in there,

She just had too much to drink,
and she was in the streets.

Yeah, it-
public intoxication.

It wasn't anything,
like, too bad.

She was-
she got drunk-tanked.

But you know what, I guess
this'll teach her a lesson.

Exactly.

I'm going to go in because she
kept saying she needs me.

I think it's this way.

I feel bad for d.

Her parents
are going to k*ll her.

I'm like,
"girl, you f*cked up.

"You don't call mom and dad

"When you're in the shore house
in jail.

You call
your roommates."

Let's go, kids.

She called mom and dad.
Yikes.

At least someone
got arrested...

Nicole!
I'm just kidding.

Nicole!
She's not kidding.

And it wasn't me.

♪ If I tried
my very best ♪

♪ Told you everything,
confessed ♪

♪ Would you save me? ♪

♪ Would you
save me? ♪

You okay?

I am so happy
to see my parents right now.

Being arrested is not fun.
I cried the entire time.

♪ Standing here,
waiting for the longest time ♪

♪ Would you save me? ♪

Never a dull moment, huh, d?
It sucks.

I just remember
I was dancing,

Next thing I knew,
I was getting arrested.

That was it, like, no one even
gave me a warning, nothing.

I was having fun.

Well, fun turned
into not so much fun, huh?

Yeah.
You went from having fun...

To crying.
To crying and being scared.

I can't believe
I got arrested for that.

I wasn't, like, falling.
I wasn't being nasty to them.

It's public intoxication.
It doesn't matter.

You were in public,
intoxicated,

So that's
what you got arrested for,

And they can arrest you
for that.

Okay.
There's no reason

To be this drunk at...

No, not during the day.
In the afternoon.

I just wanted to do, like,
a meatball day.

All right, well,
you did your meatball day.

It's done, it's over, and now,
you don't do another one,

Because if you do another one
and you get arrested, d...

I know.
The judge isn't gonna go,

"Oh, deena, okay,
you had a meatball day."

They're gonna send you
to county.

You think you cried now?

You're gonna be crying
your a*s off

Because that was a piece of cake
compared to what happens

If they take you
to county lockup.

I haven't heard my mom
this pissed off

In a very long time,
like, even when I was,

Like, wild,
back in the day.

I really didn't think
I was doing anything wrong.

Yeah, well,
you know what?

You gotta watch
your "p"s and "q"s, kid.

Me and dad'll get going.

It just sucks
I put them through this.

And I'm really sad
I got arrested,

But at least
I did not go to jail.

Like, let's be real.

I'd be someone's b*tch in,
like, a second.

Love you.
Be good.

I don't think she's ever
gonna do that again.

I hope not.

You think
snooks is in the house?

One truck's missing,
so...

What are you getting, a card?
Yeah. Ooh!

"Congratulations."
With the wine on it?

Perfect.
"You did it!"

Yo, where should I
put the stroller, yo?

Should I put it upstairs?
Yeah, put it upstairs.

We got deena a card.
Dude, did they let her out?

It's been a long time.

Hi.

Oh! Oh!

Are you okay?
What happened?

Deena got arrested.
For what?

Public intoxication,
pretty much.

I don't think
I did anything wrong.

You was in jail?
It's okay.

What was jail like?
In a cell?

What was jail like?
Did you get a tattoo?

Deena's home?

Hey.
Surprise!

Me and ron got you something.
Oh, yay!

"Congratulations, you did it.
You're officially a meatball,

You've graduated
by getting arrested, dumbass."

And next year,
you'll be pregnant.

Why is dude here?
He's our new roommate.

We're gonna start
sunday dinner right now.

I can make some bangin'
chicken and steak.

Yo, you're cooking up
something fierce on that grill.

This is gonna be
a serious dinner, for real.

I'll break out
the good china then.

Is the air on?
I'm, like, sweating.

What are you, hot, snook?
Serious hot flashes right now.

Ugh.

Is there an ice pack?

Don't judge me.
Sweating.

It's probably the best way to
defrost anything in this house,

Is put it on snooki.

This is how you do it.

Maybe it's cooler
outside.

I hate oil splashing up
on me.

Oh, I just burned
my face.

I feel better now.
Thank god.

Yo, deena.

Do you ever... Snooks,
do you ever walk up here?

Is she allowed to come up here?
Yeah, of course.

See if she can come up here,
I want to show her something.

I'm trying to get nicole
on the porch right now

Because I have a surprise
for her,

And nicole should take it as
a good gesture and forgive me.

It's a year later,
and I picked you up

A monster-truck-looking-like
stroller, girl.

You want to go
up there?

Why is he asking you?
I'm right here.

Snooks, come up here
for a second.

Do you want to go up there?
No.

Come on.

I do not want to be alone
with mike anywhere,

So for him to tell me
to go up on the roof,

Like, no,
I don't want to go on the roof.

No, we got-
i-i got...

We got something at the store
for snooks, and it's upstairs.

I just wanted
to show it to her.

It's pretty cool.

You don't have to
if you don't want to,

But it's pretty cool.

Gotta be kidding me.

That's it for the apologies
for me

Because I was like, "yo,
I got you something upstairs.

Let me show it to you."

She's like, "I can't go upstairs
with you."

I was like... No doubt.
Really?

Yeah, she's like,
"I can't go upstairs."

I'm like, "you know what,
it's kind of cool.

Check it out
if you want to."

You know, be known as, like,
the girl that's pregnant

That hates life,
you know what I'm saying?

Can you tell him
to stop talking to me?

Like, awkward.

I mean, it... It-
since you refuse to go upstairs,

It's all good.
It's kind of, like,

A really cool
baby carriage.

You know, you should just
at least check it out.

I don't have to go upstairs,
you could take her up to see it.

I mean, you know what I mean?
You want to go with me?

She can-
she can go upstairs.

It is a nice gesture.
I'm actually surprised.

I don't need a gesture,
I need an apology

And saying, "I was a d*ck.
I made it up, sorry."

Don't need to buy me sh*t.
No, I know.

Holy sh*t,
he bought this?

What the f*ck?
Where does one get that?

It's a schwinn carriage,
you know...

Oh, my god.
With a sun roof.

That's pretty dope,
you've gotta give him that.

It's better than the first car

That he drove here.
He bought this?

And you can put your wine
in there too.

No, right here.

This is cool.
Why would he do that?

I guess,
'cause he doesn't know

How to apologize like a human
being, so by buying stuff,

That's his way of saying,
"I'm sorry."

Doesn't make it better.
Like, i...

No, I know,
but it's cool, right?

You're even like, "sh*t, I wish
he wasn't such a d*ck."

It's pretty cool.

I definitely love the stroller,
and i... You know,

I enjoy the fact
that mike is trying,

But he's trying in a really
wrong way that irritates me.

I don't even know
what to say.

"Thanks,
but you're a d*uche."

Like, what?

I was going to, like, take
the girl to a really nice place

And wear a t-shirt that says,
"be my girlfriend."

Why don't you write it
on your abs and be like...

This is perfect for us.
Can we try it out?

Whoo!

I honestly can't wait
till I'm old

Because I know it's gonna be
so much easier.

This is us, legit, in 60 years.
I know.

Jenni!

Wait!
Wait for me!

Yeah, it is a good dinner.
This is a good dinner.

Thank you.
My hands are clean.

Say something.

Come on, v.

Uh...
Whiz.

I'd like
to thank god

And, um, my mom.

Hell, yeah.
What up, mom?

I'm glad deena's here.

Thank you.

Sorry, d,
for what you had to go through,

But today
was the best day ever.

I'm just saying,
I'm just happy you guys

Are all supportive,
since I got locked up today.

Does snooks
want to say something?

Like, ugh! Obviously,
he just wants me to say,

"Thank you
for the stroller."

Thanks for my stroller,
mike.

How sick
is that stroller?

It's
a sick stroller, yo.

You can take that
f*cking baby off-roading.

It's a serious stroller.
It's pretty sick.

Yo, it's got
an emergency brake on it.

It's so dope.

Oh, I heard
you got some yummies.

Paula did send me something,
yeah.

Yo, listen to this.

Mike has news.
What?

Paula was there for me
last night,

You know what I'm saying,
she came through,

So I was gonna, like, um...
Make it official.

Make it official.
Aw!

But I don't want
to just do, like,

Anything ordinary,
you know what I mean?

You have to make it
romantical.

Yeah, I was gonna,
like, take the girl

To a really nice place,
surprise her,

And wear a t-shirt that says,
"be my girlfriend,"

Or-
why don't you write it

On your abs,
and then be like...

Ew.

Wait, you're gonna really
make it official?

Yeah.
I'll go.

I think making a shirt
to ask out paula

Is kind of corny,
but I have to see this.

Yo, let's go
on a double date.

If these guys
go on a double date...

We'll go.
All of us.

I like that idea.
I'll make it happen.

Really?
I'll make it happen.

Cool!

This is a big thing,
mike proposing to paula.

You can't see this
all the time.

You need to get
a frickin' front-row seat.

I am excited.

Good dinner.
Hell, yeah.

Let's go upstairs
and kick it.

I'll go in the jacuzzi.

I'm so done.
I'm tired.

I'm going to lay down.

♪ ♪

Long-distance beer pong.

Oh! Ringer!

Pauly d!
Pauly d!

Yo, it's morgan.

Yo. Hell, yeah.
You see morgan?

Pauly!

Yo, morgan!

Pauly d!
Morgan!

That's morgan?
What are you doing?

Come down here!

It was, like, kind of like,
you know, a slow night

Or whatever, and then, like,
all of a sudden,

Morgan was, like,
the light of our life

'Cause at least
we can always see t*ts,

You know what I mean?

I heard about you,
girl!

You heard about me?
You guys talk about me?

I told you!
All the time.

Every night!

Oh, my god.
Yes!

Morgan's boob is, like,
really big, juicy.

It's like... Kind of like
a tempur-pedic mattress.

One more time.

Ohh!
Oh, my god.

Oh,
you're gonna hurt somebody.

"Oh, my god, pauly!

Look at my t*ts!"

I'm just like, "oh,
I didn't want to see that."

Oh, I got a girlfriend.
I can't...

That was awesome.

At least
we seen those t*tties.

How are you doing
with the rog thing?

Are you okay?

Trying not to think
about it, but...

Like, are you affected?
I feel like

You're affected by it.
It's hard not to think

About it.
It's your boy.

I'm pretty bummed out,

But I can't ask him
to call me.

I can't make him apologize,

And I can't make him see

Anything, you know,
see my side.

It's been two days
since roger pushed me

At the club, and I still
haven't heard from him.

Like,
that pisses me off.

Don't you think
that's immature of him?

Yeah, it does
turn my stomach,

And I don't know, like,
he could be packing sh*t

And moving
for all I know.

He could be
that pissed off too.

I love roger, but he just
pisses me off sometimes.

Yeah.

Broken bones, they don't feel
too good when you touch 'em.

If I feel your heel?

Feels good, actually.

The situation doesn't just
ordinarily ask out a girl.

I need to do it in a really,
extremely cool way.

"Let's make it official!"

Ow, my f*cking foot.

So uncomfortable.

Hello?

Boo?

So this morning, me and nicole
are gonna go to the doctor's

To see if I need either
a cast or surgery for my ankle.

I feel like
I'm parting the red sea.

What do you mean?
I don't know.

I feel like-
I don't even know

Why you bring that,
you don't even use it.

I feel like that guy
had a f*cking cane in his hand,

Whoever parted it-
jesus?

She could possibly be
in a cast for, like,

Four to six weeks,
and I feel bad for her,

But then again,
I'm so happy.

Now I have, like,
a disabled buddy

To hang out with me.

Do you want to stop
to get a wheelchair?

For who?
Both of us.

We could share it.

Hello.

This is perfect
for us.

Can we try it out?
Yeah, go ahead.

Hey, why come
mine's not going?

Oh, you gotta- oh.

Whoa.

This is perfect for us.
Ooh!

This makes me
a little motion sick.

Go forward. Whoo!

Let's follow each other.

Oh!

Aw!

I think these wheelchairs
are awesome,

And I honestly
can't wait till I'm old,

Because when I'm old and I
really do need a wheelchair,

I know it's gonna be
so much easier.

This is us, legit, in 60 years.

I know.
I'll take both.

Okay.

I'm disabled,
being pregnant,

She's disabled,
so why not?

It's, like,
hard being handicapped.

At least we got sick rides.
Yeah.

We're running late
for work.

Deena!
I'm ready whenever.

Mike, we're leaving!
Come on down.

Deena, what are you,
on work release?

What's that?
They let you out

Just because you
had a job?

Oh, sh**t. I put it upside-down.
Is that all right?

No.

Just kidding.

So, deena, you coming tonight
to the date?

Yes.
Hell, yeah.

I'm gonna call chris.
Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah.

Tonight is the night

That I'm going to ask paula
to be my girlfriend,

And all the roommates are
gonna come for moral support.

Are you gonna do the shirt,
or are you just gonna ask?

Yes, I'm gonna do the shirt.
Thank you for reminding me.

We have to make you
a shirt now.

I'm gonna get the tank top
now, so I don't forget,

And let's make it official,
girl.

Oh, this is gonna be great.
Can you help me make it

In a little bit, danny?
I can't wait.

Love to.
Paula knocked up?

No.

The situation doesn't just
ordinarily ask out a girl, okay?

I need to do it in a really
extremely, extremely cool way.

All right,
how does this look, guys?

It's looking good, right?
Yes.

Mm!
"Let's make it official!"

And I'm going to wear it out
at me and paula's date

At rivoli's and then
open up my button-down shirt

Like clark kent
and go, "bam."

I'm f*cking putting it
on a hanger

To make sure that
it's wrinkle-free, you feel me?

Kinda like myself.
I'm wrinkle-free.

Danny, I'm going on my 30.

You're not going on your 30.
You're finally working. Come on.

Aha.
Ohh, this is great.

He's all about
his shirts.

I feel we should
do something to it.

What are you gonna put on it?

"I like men."

That's great.

That's funny.

"Let's make it official!
I like men."

Keep it on the hanger
'cause he's never even gonna

Look at the back.
Yeah.

Oh, my goodness.

Back on the hanger.
No one's any the wiser.

Whether he knows it
or not,

Sitch is finally coming
out of the closet.

All right, danny,
it's time to go. Right?

Work's over.
Yup.

A lot of luck, man.
Hold on tight.

Good job today, you did good.
See you laters.

Later.
Bye.

Hope it all goes well.
Good luck.

Let's make it official,
girl.

Yo! What the f*ck, dude?

What happened?
I saw the back of the shirt,

Bro!

Yo, I gots
to make my shirt again, son.

You f*cking c*ck.

c*ck.

Where's the entrance?
Oh, up there?

Well, let's go
get me casted.

You have a camel.
f*ck.

Yeah.

Originally,
I went to one doctor,

And they said
it was fractured,

So now, I'm going
to the orthopedic surgeon

To see
what my prognosis is.

Hello, ladies, how are ya?
Hi.

Dr. Foos.
Nicole.

Nice to see you.
Hi.

Nice handshake.
You're...

It's very firm.
All right, good.

Tell me what happened.

I fell at bamboo.
Well, I got pushed at bamboo.

Okay.
And I broke...

I fractured
my navicular.

Well, before we-
before we diagnose you,

Let's figure out
kinda what's going on.

Nothing hurts you up high?
No.

All right,
and when I press you down here?

A little tender.
All right.

But nothing that's making you
jump off the table,

Right?
No.

And that's
what I'm looking for.

You know, broken bones,
they don't feel too good

When you touch 'em, all right?
Yeah.

If I feel
your heel?

No.
Feels good, actually.

All right,
you're irritated in that spot,

But I took a look at the x-rays,
and your ankle's okay.

It's not fractured, okay?
Oh, it's not?

There's no broken bone,
all right?

I just got
a wheelchair.

Yeah, well,
you know what?

You can have all kinds of fun
with that wheelchair...

But I don't think

You're gonna need it,
all right?

Really?
Yes.

This is not something
that needs to go in a cast

Or a boot
or anything like that, um...

She's so mad
right now.

I lost my friend.

You wanted her
to have a broken foot?

Yeah.

'Cause I thought
I was gonna have my best friend

Be crippled with me all summer,
and now, she's fine.

This sucks.

Thank you.
Nice to meet you. All right?

Thanks.
It's a pleasure. All right?

All right,

Hang in there.
All right?

Cool.
Sorry, boo.

Sick life.

You're still pregnant.

I'm so relieved.

I don't have to be in a cast
for six weeks,

And I can go back to enjoying
seaside with two legs.

Well, there goes
my handicapped sticker.

Oh, well.

I still want
to rock our wheelchairs.

♪ Every time
you're looking ♪

Let's make it official,
like a referee with a whistle.

Hi, babe.

This is your last hour
of being single.

You better go smash
a chick right now.

Jenni and snooks are coming,

Right?
Whole family's coming.

Hi.
What's up, girl?

Mwah.
Yo, let's roll out.

Where are we going?
Rivoli's.

Sounds official to me.
Yeah, buddy!

♪ Maybe you can settle down ♪

♪ ♪

Wait, paula, yo, yo.
Come here for a second, girl.

What are you doing?
Sure.

Um, we're gonna sit over here
for a hot minute.

Oh.
Yeah.

Of course.
I'll come back over there.

Aw.
Yeah.

I definitely appreciate
all my roommates here tonight,

But I feel like
I need my separate space,

Because if I sat
with the roommates,

I don't think it would be
as special if I sat by myself

With paula and tried
to make it official.

Where's mike and paula?

Ah.
I can see.

Oh, sh*t, I can see.

Rivoli's is this big,

So mike's
at a separate table,

But he's really
right next to us.

I cannot believe
I'm gonna be a witness

To this monumental moment
in history.

The situation
is about to be wifed up.

So how was your day?
It was good?

I had
a early nail appointment,

And I came home,
took a nap.

Cool.

Relaxed.
That's cool.

Um...

He looks like
he's sweating.

I'd be nervous.

It's crazy.
I never seen him get like this.

This is a whole new situation
right now.

You know what,
I think the jobs you have

Are definitely cool,
though.

You have
the tanning salon.

I've been there for six years.
Oh, my god.

It's like, I'm making
a decision after summer,

Like, if I want to stay
or not.

Really?
'Cause I really do like it,

But-
I kinda got another decision,

You know what I'm saying?
Oh, yeah? What's that?

It's like, uh...
Kinda like...

Oh, is he doing it?
Aw!

This is, like,
a little t-shirt I made.

What is this?

Mike's showing paula
his shirt.

We're just sitting there,
waiting,

And paula's like...

That's cool,
right?

Do you know what it says?

I didn't even know
f*cking paula could read.

What's it say?

I want to get married
in a church.

I could see it now,
we're walking down the aisle.

What the f*ck?
Girl, chill!

I could see you now,
changing diapers and like...

Ew!

Oh, god!

Came in wrong time
on that one.

Oh.

Seems like he doesn't want
to work at it.

I don't know what to do,

Like, did I do something
that night

That I cannot remember?

You know
when you just know?

You think it's the end?

This is, like,
a little t-shirt I made.

What is this?

Do you know
what it says?

What's it say?

"Let's make it official."

Oh, my god, that is the best.
Get over here.

Get over here.
What's... Well,

What's your answer, girl?
Yes, of course.

What's wrong with you?

Mwah.

Hearts are breaking
across the country right now

And the nation.
I'm sorry,

The situation's off the market.
Check back later.

Mike's off the market!
Mike's off the market!

That's cool, right?
It's the greatest idea.

Nobody's
ever done that.

You know what,
I figured, um,

Every time,
I always go home with you,

So why not
make it official?

Oh, I'm blushing.
Me too.

Mike and paula
are a perfect match.

They're both
space cadets,

They both say
the stupidest sh*t ever,

And they both
have the attention span

Of a goldfish,
so they're perfect.

What's this stuff?

I've had that pierced
since you've met me.

Oh, I want that salad.
Thank you much.

Oh, wow!
So good.

When I first met you,
I really...

I was like,
"I want that girl."

We have come
a long way.

I don't think I would know
how to be with anybody else.

Definitely
don't want anybody else.

Me neither.
Honestly?

We need to get you,
like, a home.

And a puppy.

Get the house first,
then the puppy.

I-i don't... I don't make
rash decisions sometimes.

No, I know you don't,
but I'm trying

To convince you to.

I want, like, kids, marriage,
relationship, puppy, house.

I don't know about some kids
but definitely a puppy.

I could see you now
changing diapers.

"Oh, here you go. Somebody-
somebody wants to see you."

You're funny.

I want to get married
in a church.

As soon as I gave paula
the title,

She starts talking
about kids,

Family,
I'm like,

"What the f*ck, girl?
Chill!"

Did you want a boy or a girl,
though?

Listen.

If you think too far ahead, then
you'll get ahead of yourself.

Yeah, obviously.
I'm not giving you

My ovulation schedule
or anything like that.

Ew!

Oh, god.

Came in wrong time
on that one.

I don't want to hear that
either, yo.

Time to go!
Check, please!

God, please.

We'll do $40 each.

Y'all ready?
Yeah.

Congratulations, michael.
I'm happy for you.

I pulled it out
at the right time.

That's what she said.

You guys look different now.
You look more mature.

Now the fighting starts.

It was good
having dinner with y'all.

Can I steal
the smush room tonight?

Congratulations.
Is that cool with everybody?

All: whoa!
Stop, stop it.

We're celebrating.
Get it in! Get it...!

Sex on the reg, yeah.
Oh, my god.

Wow!

Thank you.
Much appreciated.

Wow!

I have no idea what's going on
with paula right now.

"I got the smush room.
Sex on the reg. Thug life."

I'm hearing things
I've never seen before.

Want to sleep
in the other room?

Yes, of course.
All right.

I'm like
a f*cking animal in heat.

I'd rather sleep
in my bed.

Hmm?
I'd rather sleep in my bed.

I don't want to sleep
in there.

I really don't know
how to act right now.

I feel like paula's either,
"a," a little too excited,

Or "b,"
just has no filter right now,

And I'm really
not feeling it.

Come here,
let me bang you.

Oh, my-

Let's... All right,
it's time to go to bed.

Okay.
It's time to go to bed.

Lights out.

Yeah.
It's time to go to bed.

I was talking too much again.
True.

I don't even know where
we're gonna... Where we are.

You should just have
your summer

And do your thing.
I don't want to be part of it.

What do you mean, "do my..."
Roger...

I'm done with you,
jenni.

Today is the fourth day
since I've talked to roger.

I didn't get any sleep
last night

Because I just kept tossing
and turning, thinking the worst.

I don't know what's going on
in roger's head.

Like,
does he think we're done?

That unknown feeling
has my head spinning,

And the lack of sleep
really is just draining me.

I'm gonna give in.

What's he thinking?
Why isn't he calling me?

I need answers.

Your call
has been forwarded

To an automated
voice messaging system.

Hey, it's me.

I'm giving in
and calling.

I'm pretty upset about
what happened friday night,

But I just wanted to say
I love you,

And call me back
if you want. Bye.

This is not good.
He always answers his phone.

He knows I'm injured,

And yet there's this blank space
of nothingness.

I don't know what's going on,
and I'm just anxious.

I need to talk to him.

I'll see you a little later.
Okay.

Bye.
Bye.

What's up, man?
Hello, big dog.

Good morning.
Good morning.

Man,
I'm excited to box.

My boy pete is my boxing
trainer and life coach,

And he'll be with me
for the summer.

What'd you do last night?
Took paula to dinner.

Nice.

You know I been seeing
paula for, like...

Yeah.
Four summers and sh*t,

And I was like,
"you know what?

Let me make it official,"
so to speak,

You know
what I'm saying?

So she was extremely happy,
and it was all good,

But she would just say things
that I wouldn't be used to,

And I'd, like, I'd look at her
like this, like,

"No, don't say that,"
like, shh, you know what I mean?

Like, she did things that
I've never seen in four summers.

I was like,

"What the f*ck?"

Just 'cause we're going out now
doesn't mean

It gives you permission to throw
the sh*t out the window.

All right, let's do this.

Let's get this-
ready?

Yeah.
Let's get it on.

I just known paula
for three summers,

And when you order
the same cheese pizza

For three summers
straight,

And you finally
get your cheese pizza

With pepperoni on it,
you're like,

"Where did this pepperoni
come from?

'Cause I been eating a cheese
pizza for three summers."

Feel me?

I'm gonna chalk it up
for the first day jitters.

Yeah, it's a big step
for some people,

You know what I mean?
Yeah, it is, it is.

I'd be pretty excited
to go out with me too.

You know what I'm saying?

I'd be pretty excited
to go out with me too.

You look good, man.
You must have a good trainer.

Yeah.

Hey.
All right?

My stomach's
in, like, knots.

You called him,
didn't you?

I knew you did.
He didn't pick up.

I still haven't talked
to roger,

And the longer the time goes on,
the longer I'm getting upset.

You guys just need
to have a convers...

They're nut clusters.
He won't talk.

He won't talk to me now.
I'm, like, freaking out.

It's all right.
Do you want tissues?

I got tissues.
Don't worry, jen.

I don't know where I stand
in my own relationship,

And just... Now, it's to a point
where I can't hide it anymore,

And it's all coming out.

It's like,
just answer and tell me.

I hate not knowing.

I thought I was the one that was
supposed to be mad at him.

It's hard to be mad, though.
You can be mad at him.

You could be mad,
it's just hard, you know?

You could be mad at him,
he could be mad at you.

You're both angry.
sh*t happens.

But you love each other, so-
you work through it.

Yeah, but I don't think-
you guys live together.

You guys are almost,
like, married.

Seems like
he doesn't want to work at it.

He's not giving in.
It's, like, four days later.

I would just
call him back.

I feel like I might get worse
if he doesn't answer again.

Really?

Like, where's-
did it go that far?

I don't know what to do,
like,

Did I do something that night
that I cannot remember?

You know
when you just know?

You think it's the end?

No!
No, we'll...

I hate not knowing.

Don't.

What's the matter?

She's, like,
having a really rough time,

Her and roger
are going through.

Why?
You haven't spoken to him?

No,
he won't answer.

What do you think,
from a guy's point of view?

Does that mean it's over,
or do you think he needs time

To just-
I just want to know.

They live together, they've
been together for two years.

This is probably the straw
that broke the camel's back,

You know, this might be
one too many fights for him.

♪ Take our bows again ♪

I think me and roger
are done.

♪ Time is closing in ♪

♪ It's where
our journey ends ♪

Just want to know.

I think me and roger
are done.

Just want to know.

Jenni's now, like,
freaking out.

She doesn't know
what's going on with roger.

She hasn't heard
from him,

So she's kind of worried
it's over.

Cool,
I've been with you two years,

And I don't even get, like,
a "go f*ck yourself" right now.

You tried to call?
He won't answer.

You leave a message?
How many times you call?

Yeah.
Today, she did.

I left him a nice one.
He won't call back.

He is working.
Doesn't he work?

No, he's out.

How do you know?
I know his schedule.

I lived with him
two years.

They live together.
It's not like me and you,

And we just avoid each other,
they live together.

So don't push the issue.
Let him marinate till the...

With the-
she called this morning.

She's done it to me.
She's sent me f*cking texts

That I won't answer back
for seven hours.

You too.
I'll read the text,

But I need to marinate in it.
You sent me texts too.

I don't answer back too.

I'm just trying
to make a point.

Don't make me look like
the only psycho.

He's settling down,

He's trying
to get his head together.

Let him cool down.

I can't wait.
It's, like, driving me insane.

Listen,
I punched ron in the face.

He destroyed my room.
Like, sh*t happens.

You work through it.

I think you should just
find out.

If you try to call him,
you're making the effort.

I'm telling you,
I know he loves you.

He's been there with you
through everything.

f*cking guy's 49 years old,
where's he going?

I feel like I should just try

One more time.
Both: try.

Oh.

♪ ♪

I'm petrified
to call him.

The fact that
I haven't heard anything

Just makes me think

Something awful
is about to go down.

Hello.
Oh, hi.

Surprised you had time
to call me.

What?

You're not out looking
for attention tonight

With your crutches?

I injured my foot.
I fractured it.

Right, you're-
jenni, you sprained your ankle.

You're going to suck

All the attention out of this
you can.

No, I'm not actually.
I was worried sick about you.

Oh, really?
Yeah.

I'm actually-
I just broke down crying

'Cause I don't know
where we are right now.

You broke down crying,
jenni,

'Cause you want
to victimize yourself.

No!
I was upset with you.

I didn't know what happened.

Why were you upset with me?

Why were you-
why would you feel that?

Because you pushed me,
roger.

You had me by the throat,
jenni.

You had me by the throat.

Yes, to stop you.
And then you threw a drink

In my face.
To stop you.

That's
what I'm talking about.

I'm in there,
helping my boy.

But I don't want you
involved.

So why would you be yelling,
"fight! Fight! Fight!"

In my ear?
Because I was telling...

Because why?
You can break it up.

You don't have to be
involved.

What does that mean?

I never threw a punch, jenni!
I'm in control of myself.

My biggest fight
in that whole thing was you,

Grabbing me by the throat,
throwing drinks in my face.

Yeah, you wouldn't listen
to me

When I'm trying
to calm you down.

That's the dumbest statement
I've ever heard in my life.

"I was trying
to calm you down,

So I threw a full drink
in your face."

If, in two years,
you haven't figured out now,

When I'm in that zone,

There's nothing you can do
to cool me down,

Then you don't know me,
and we're really...

We're really
just going nowhere then.

I've never seen roger
this mad before in my life.

There's no "sorrys," there's
no, like, "how you been?"

And that scares
the sh*t out of me.

I need to know where
we're gonna... Where we are.

You should just have
your summer and do your thing.

I don't want to be part of it.
What do you mean, "do my..."

Roger, I live with you.
We have a house together...

No, you don't.
And we've been together

Two years! Two years!
You've moved...

You move away.
Every couple months,

You move away
for months at a time, so...

Two years.
You really

Live with your friends
more than you live with me.

I can't act
like that anymore.

I can't. At your age,
knock yourself out, have fun.

I c... I work too hard for
what I have to jeopardize it.

I'm not f*cking doing it
anymore.

So this is it?

♪ ♪

It's two years.

I don't want
to throw it down the toilet.