28x12 - Out with a Bang!

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

-[Averey] Jordan!
-[Jordan] This is the true story…

-[Jordan] I love you, Bird.
-…of seven strangers…

-[Jordan] Let's do it!
-[Joi] …picked to live in a loft…

-Daisy!
-[Johnny] Stop pooping!

-[Averey] …work together…
-[Jordan] Dude!

[Jessica] …and have their lives taped…

-[Averey] Ooh, ooh!
-[Anastasia] …to find out what happens…

[Jessica] I'm not talking to you anymore.

[Marlon] …when people stop being polite…

[Anastasia] Boop! You're done.

[Johnny] …and start getting real.

-No!
-[Jessica] Sexy mama!

-[Averey] The Real World…
-[Johnny] …Portland!

-[female reporter] The recently departed…
-[radio static]

[male reporter] Unburied human corpses
are returning to life

and feeding on the living.

[man on radio continues indistinctly]

[Johnny] If there's a zombie apocalypse,

we're going on a [bleep] yacht
into the ocean.

[laughs]

Zombies can't swim.

No, but they can walk underwater.
They don't have to breathe.

I'm pretty much convinced

that there is going
to be a zombie apocalypse.

I just think
it's a very plausible explanation

to a lot of things
that have been happening

recently in the world.

We're going to the mountains,
and we're finding a fortress.

-We're going high ground.
-Yeah, until the roads are blocked

because there's so many people
trying to get out of the cities.

Who cares? You [bleep] b*mb
through the woods and [bleep].

Dude, we bring dirt bikes, we bring quads.

No, those are so [bleep] loud,
you'd just attract zombies.

-Zombies don't follow quads, dude.
-[Averey] They follow the noise.

Who's the zombie expert here?

I don't believe zombies are real,
but Averey is obsessed with them.

I think it's cute.

You'd be a horrible zombie hider.

-[Johnny] Huh?
-You would be.

-[Johnny] Shut up.
-[both laugh]

[upbeat music playing]

[Tyler]

-[laughs]
-[Jessica laughs]

When I was growing up, like, every night
my dad would give my mom a foot massage.

Aw, that's so cute.

Yeah. 'Cause my mom was, like,
always on her feet all day.

I feel like a man when I do that,

-when I rub a girl's feet.
-[Jessica] Aw.

-[Tyler chuckles]
-[Jessica] That's so precious.

[smooches]

Tyler makes me a little bit giddy.

I'm both excited and happy to have someone
so sweet and kind in my life.

And it feels really nice to have someone

keeping you warm at night.

I don't hate it.

♪ Love will make you
Love will shape you ♪

♪ Love will take you up ♪

♪ Every brighter day
Leads to an even brighter day ♪

♪ If you have love ♪

♪ Love if you have love ♪

♪ Oh, love ♪

[Jessica] I'm a very sexual person.

I just wanted to turn around
and rip his clothes off.

I didn't do it, but I wanted to,
and I thought about it for a minute.

He scares the living hell out of me.

[Anastasia] He's probably just like,
"Oh, my God,

does she want to sleep with me,
does she not?"

-"What should I do?"
-Well, we talked about it.

I've been telling him from the beginning,
you know, "Not here, not now,

not for a long time."

-[uplifting music playing]
-Tyler wants to have sex with me

just as much as I want
to have sex with him.

But it's in our best interest
that we wait.

It's so hard, but like, I don't know.

[Anastasia] Garden of Eden. [chuckles]

You have that apple dangling
in front of your face.

Two apples dangling
in front of your face.

[both chuckle]

[Anastasia] Good luck.

[music concludes]

[Anastasia] Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

My boyfriend's super stressed out
about this whole situation,

and he thinks he needs a little break.

I feel like he's making this situation
more complicated than it needs to be.

[Anastasia's mom] Hello?

-Hey, Mommy.
-[Anastasia's mom] Hi, honey.

-I sent-- Did you get my forwarded email?
-[Anastasia's mom] I did.

I think this thing with me
just kinda sent him over the edge.

[Anastasia's mom] He really needs
to take care of himself right now, though.

-I know.
-[Anastasia's mom] I know

deep down he's a nice, sweet kid.

I really do.

But I know he has major troubles.

He needs to-- What his problem is,

he needs to learn
how to deal with problems.

He doesn't know how to deal with problems.
And I helped him a lot.

[Anastasia's mom] I know,
but I gotta tell you, he's not in a place

-for a relationship right now.
-Yeah. [exhales deeply]

-[Anastasia's mom] Take a break from him.
-I will.

[Anastasia's mom] Promise me
you won't call Mark, all right?

Yeah.

[uplifting music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

What's your name over here?

-[Sherine] Sherine.
-Sherine?

Nice to meet y'all. Marlon.

Well, I just wanted to say hi, you know.
Kinda came in right by you.

[Nia]

[Jordan]

-[Averey] He's over there.
-[Jordan]

Oh.

I sent him my positive energy.
Hopefully it works out.

Get it, get it, get it.

[Jordan] He's been pretty
sexually frustrated lately.

Marlon is very sexually frustrated.

I know why, though.

His dad's a preacher,
and so is his grandpa.

-No bueno.
-I think if he had the opportunity,

-he wouldn't stop though.
-No, he wouldn't stop.

But he doesn't want to get to that point.

Marlon's trying to be a good son of God,

so to say, because of the way
his father brought him up.

But I think Marlon is going
to eventually have sex.

-[Marlon's dad] How's everything going?
-You know, I don't know.

Like, you know,
I want to go out, I want to have fun.

I want to, you know, meet girls.

I want to go out and hang with the boys,

-you know, and--
-[Marlon’s dad] But see,

the thing about it is,
you know how strong my faith is,

and you know what I believe in,
and that's been instilled in you.

[Marlon] My pops is my backbone.

You know, he raised me,
single-parent father.

He's the reason I am the person I am.

[Marlon's dad] I hope I've given you
an example of how I lived in front of you.

No, I mean, just, like,
even, like, all the times

when we were down to nothing.
Like, when we lived out the car

I was driving in college, we lived out of
for a short period of time.

And you were just like,
"God's gonna make a way."

"God's gonna figure it out."
Seeing you be so, like,

100 with the faith,
is just like intimidating.

There is a pressure
to do things right all the time.

There is a pressure
to be that upstanding role model.

[Marlon's dad] You can still go out
with your friends

and go and dance and have a good time.

Where it becomes wrong
is when your intentions are,

"I'm going out here to meet girls

and eventually end up
having sex with them,"

-that's where the problem comes in.
-[instrumental music playing]

Yeah. We meet girls, exchange numbers,
but I don't have to have sex with them.

-I just want to hang out.
-[Marlon's dad] Exactly.

For you to get to that maturity level,

you know,
that's what makes me proud about you.

[music concludes]

[Averey] Where have you been all my life?

[Johnny] Right here.

♪ Pick up, get up, keep your head up, go ♪

♪ Pick up, get up, keep your head up ♪

I've been doing music seriously since,
like, the seventh grade.

Music is my escape.
It's just how I deal with things.

I tell a lot of stories
about my life through lyrics.

-Oh, what time is it?
-[Nia] 3:13.

[Marlon] Oh, dude,
I found a studio down here.

-[Nia] You're going to a studio?
-[Marlon] Yeah.

[Nia] Please let me come with you.

-[Marlon] Yeah, you can come for sure.
-Hell yeah.

-[Anastasia] I'm ready.
-[Nia] You studio groupie, you.

[Anastasia] Yay. Let's go. [chuckles]

[Marlon] What's up, bro?

We're heading over to Reggie's.
He's got the home studio.

-What's good, bro?
-Good to see you.

-You doing all right?
-Good to see you.

Dude's got a nice little setup.

He's got the full--
everything you need to make good music.

Oh, dude,
you gotta hear this track real quick.

This is my little life story song.

[Reggie] This the one
with your dad on the hook?

Yeah.

♪ Two months premature
Doctor said I wouldn't live ♪

♪ Your son needs spinal taps
That could paralyze your kid ♪

♪ From the day of my birth
I struggled just to be living ♪

♪ And thank god for the life
I been given ♪

[Marlon's dad] ♪ All I can say is, man
I always trusted in God ♪

♪ From the time that you was born
I made a promise to him ♪

♪ Before I even made
A promise to myself for you ♪

♪ I told him
If he'd give me the strength ♪

♪ I'd raise you the best way
That I knew how ♪

My dad has sacrificed so much
in his own personal life

to see me be better.

I don't want to disappoint my father

and not take all the things
that he thinks I can do in life

and not live up to it.

♪ I'm proud of you
I'm happy to be your father, man ♪

♪ And I love you
And I'll always be there with you ♪

♪ And I'll always be there for you
And I'm your number one fan ♪

♪ Peace ♪

-Holy [bleep], Marlon.
-You're about to make Anastasia--

-You're about to make me start running.
-It was crazy, dude.

Like, I know your struggle.

-I know your pops, like--
-Oh, my God.

-I need a moment.
-[Marlon laughs]

[Averey] I wish you could hear
what the girls say to me.

They go, "How would you feel
about moving to Boston with Johnny?"

-"Like, could you do it?"
-[Johnny] And you said?

[Averey] Oh, I'd be okay with that.

[Johnny]

No. 'Cause you actually have real friends.

-I have friends I've known--
-[Johnny] So do you. [bleep]

I've had friends I've known for two years.

You have friends
that you've known for more than ten.

If we really want this relationship
to work,

someone's gonna have to jump.
And I don't mind jumping

because he has way more in Boston
than I do in Tempe, Arizona.

Like, I can make friends.
I'm a very good person.

-I'm very presentable--
-[whines]

Personable. I'm very personable.

If anything, I think my grandmother
would like it more 'cause it's closer.

[Johnny] Well, that's a good thought
to think about.

Grandma, you're gonna yell at me
about this.

I don't know if it's a for-real thing,
so don't yell at me fully.

[Averey's grandma]
All right, let's hear it.

[exhales deeply] Okay.

Well, maybe--
No, it's kind of a good thing.

You know? It's kind of a good thing.

[Averey's grandma]
Quit beating around the bush.

-Just tell me.
-[Averey] Okay. Grandma,

it's not as bad as you think.
I really have nothing going on in Arizona.

I have thought of this crazy plan
to move to Massachusetts

'cause Johnny lives in Massachusetts.

-And if I live--
-[Averey's grandma] Now, wait a minute.

Now, I don't want to burst your bubble,

-but I'm going to.
-I know, Grandma.

-[Averey's grandma] Never--
-Never move for a boy.

[Averey's grandma] You got it.
I mean, you left the last time,

and, boy, for a while it was bad,

and I don't want you
to have to go through that again.

I was really young.
I moved 3,000 miles away

from everything I've ever known

for this boy, who I thought loved me,
and I just got burned really bad.

I was crying every night,
and it just was not what I expected.

[Averey's grandma]
Let's look at the big picture.

Let's not just think
of, "ooh, baby, ooh, baby,"

and I'm telling you the truth.

-I'm not lying to you.
-[Averey] I know. I know.

I honestly think I can go anywhere,
and I'd be okay.

But the other side, it's like,
"Oh, Johnny, you're a boy."

Let's say Johnny does go home,

and he screws up royally,
and then here I am,

just a sad little girl again.

He could potentially flip
my whole world upside-down.

[upbeat music playing]

[Jessica] Tyler's just so precious.

[Nia] Let me see the pictures.

Aww.

God, I'm such a good photographer.

[Jessica] Well, I mean,
you do have great subjects.

[Nia laughs] Shut up.

[Jessica] I didn't realize
how happy I looked.

Y'all are just adorable.

That is so adore. He's gonna love that.

[Jessica] I bought us both one.

See, this is why I don't like
to get all into a guy,

'cause if I get into a dude, I'm, like,
totally into a dude, and, like, it's bad.

["It's Just You" playing]

♪ You ♪

♪ Only you ♪

♪ It's just you ♪

♪ And me too ♪

[Averey] Oh, Mylanta!

Can we go to this? Can we really? Please!

[Averey] "Trackers earth
zombie survival weekend."

-[Johnny] Oh, zombies. I heard zombies!
-[Marlon] I heard zombies,

-so I know she's excited.
-[Johnny] I'm in. I'm in.

-Ooh!
-[Averey] It's a camp.

Can we please go?
Can we? Can we? Can we?

[Johnny] Yes. Yes. Yes.

[Averey] I'm not joking
about the zombie thing.

It's going to happen.

-That's funny.
-Ooh, ooh.

We'll learn how to survive zombies. Ah!

The whole zombie thing
is absolutely ridiculous.

I mean, to have fun with it,
yeah, that's cool. Zombies!

But to be like, "Oh, zombies
are so real." That's dumb.

I'm pretty… pretty excited right now.

[upbeat music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[Marlon] Can I have three Fireballs?

Thank you, ma'am.

-[Johnny] Cheers, guys.
-[Jordan] Cheers.

I meet some of the regulars
that are at Splash.

A couple girls,
they're out having a good time.

-I'm having fun.
-Marlon, I'm out of here.

-[Marlon] Are you leaving?
-Yeah.

-[Ashley] So do you wanna go to Crown?
-Let's go right now.

[Ashley] Gotta finish that.

If you're gonna go to Crown,
you gotta finish that.

Flirting, that's not bad in my book.
My self-control is pretty high.

Just have a few more drinks
and just have a good night.

[Ashley]

[Marlon]

It's good, yeah.

Always.

Ashley, she's just a cool chick.

We're vibing.
I'm having a good time with her.

[Ashley]

[Marlon]

[Ashley]

-Do you like that?
-Yeah.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

♪ Don't know how you do it ♪

♪ But there must be something to it ♪

♪ You're the cherry on top
Boy, don't you stop ♪

[Marlon]

-[Ashley]
-[Marlon]

♪ Oh, you got a little something
That you're craving and I want it ♪

♪ And I'm begging that you never stop ♪

-♪ Don't stop ♪
-♪ Oh, I gotta tell you something ♪

♪ I've been craving and I'm wanting
Just a tiny bit of something hot ♪

[Marlon] Sleep time.

Bringing girls back,
definitely not the best decision,

but we'll see what happens.

We'll see what happens.

♪ Don't keep me waiting
'Cause I've been anticipating ♪

♪ Sugar, you got me good ♪

♪ I need you right now ♪

♪ I need you right now ♪

[song concludes]

[gentle music playing]

[Marlon] One thing led to another,
and we hooked up.

Shouldn't have happened.
Shouldn't have done that.

I know
if I probably wasn't drinking as much,

if I just wouldn't have even
invited her back to the crib,

like, it wouldn't have happened.

And I just didn't do
what I was supposed to do,

and that-- that sucks.

That really does suck.

I had the biggest accomplishment
slash failure last night.

[Averey] What?

-Last night?
-[gasps] you didn't! Marlon!

I know. I did. I know.

-[Averey laughs]
-Marlon, you had sex last night,

and I slept
through this whole entire thing?

-Wait, really?
-[Marlon] Yeah.

Marlon did the deed.
He banged someone.

Good for you, Marlon.
Proud of you. [claps]

-Yes.
-[Anastasia] Tell me all about this now.

-Yes!
-[Anastasia] What the hell happened?

-[Johnny] How was it?
-[Averey] Yeah. Tell me the story.

[Marlon] Dude, it was… it was bad.

Why?

-[Averey] Were you like, "black mamba!"
-No, it was good, like…

-No, no, it was good…
-Oh, I was like, "Aw."

[Marlon] …but I just should have said no.

I don't think the roommates
understand what it means to me

because they don't believe
in the same thing I believe in.

And that's tough to deal with
when you're kind of isolated

on your views.

-You're a man now, Marlon.
-[Marlon] Stop.

You're a man now.

♪ Gone are the days when I was young ♪

♪ I was raised not to hurt no one ♪

♪ Now these days I fear ♪

♪ Love isn't very clear… ♪

[Jessica] I got cupcakes.

♪ I might be carried away ♪

♪ But, oh, how I'd love
To be carried away ♪

[Tyler laughs] Aw. Oh, that's awesome.

-I have one too. It's cute.
-[Tyler] Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Oh, you got a bunch of pictures.

♪ You've gotta take these pictures down ♪

♪ Or you're gonna look like a psycho ♪

[Anastasia] They're everywhere.

-There, there, there.
-[Averey] Get the [bleep] out of here.

Picture, picture, picture, picture.
Oh, picture, picture, picture.

[Tyler]
I didn't know they took that picture.

When did they--
I didn't know they took that one either.

[Averey] If I walked
into Johnny's apartment

when I move to Massachusetts, and I see,
like, 15 million pictures of us,

I'm gonna be creeped out.

[Anastasia] Probably, like,
20 stuffed under her mattress.

[Averey laughs]

-I wrote stuff on the back of them.
-I feel spoiled right now.

She went and bought, like, frames--

-[Averey] Picture frames.
-[Anastasia] All of her and Tyler.

Like, none of 'em like her family,
nothing.

[upbeat music playing]

Thank you.

-Hey, what time was the next streetcar?
-[man] Five, ten minutes.

So are you actually from Boston,
or are you from around Boston?

Just south of Boston. Town called Hingham.

-Hingham?
-Yeah.

What made you move here? School?

-Sunny weather.
-The sunny weather?

I'm about to move to Bridgewater.

From Arizona.

[Danny]

-[Averey] Yeah?
-[Danny laughs] Yeah.

Why the hell would you want to move
to Bridgewater?

[Averey]

[Danny] You're gonna go and be like,
"What the [bleep] am I doing here?"

There's nothing there. It's like,
you're moving to, like, nothing.

-Are you staying?
-No, I'm waiting to pay my tab.

-I already paid it, [bleep].
-For the shots.

-[Jordan] We're gonna miss that train.
-[Averey] I'm sorry.

-[Jordan] Come on.
-[Averey] I had to pay.

-[Jordan] Johnny.
-[Johnny] We already missed it.

-I'm not running.
-[Jordan] No, we didn't.

[Johnny] Yep.

I'm pissed.
Averey makes us miss the streetcar

'cause she's flirting
with this [bleep] at the bar.

So much for that.

Thanks, Averey.

[Averey] How many minutes do we have?
I was gonna go pee.

-Pee.
-You have time to go pee. For sure.

-[Tabitha] Are you pissed?
-Yeah, I'm pissed.

How would you feel
if I put myself in this situation

and talked to a girl
for an hour and a half?

[Johnny] Just peeing.

[Danny] You're gonna be doing nothing
in Bridgewater.

[Averey] See, I like that.
I'm from a really small town.

[Danny] I mean, if you like to hang out
doing nothing.

[Johnny] She does this on purpose.

-[Tabitha] Like, makes you mad?
-[Johnny] Yeah. I'm sick of it.

-All right, later.
-[Sean] Bye!

Goodbye, Sean, I love you.

Just a pee?

-[Averey] What?
-Just a pee?

-[Averey] He bought me a shot.
-[Johnny] Just a pee?

-[Averey] He bought me a--
-[bleep] liar.

[Averey] Johnny's being an idiot
right now.

I did nothing wrong,
and you're just pouting

because you're being a jealous male.

[Johnny] I'm sick of this [bleep],
Averey, I really am.

-[Averey] Okay.
-[Johnny] Are you [bleep] kidding me?

[Averey] Do you want to miss this or what?
You're the one that's bitching.

[Johnny] Dude,
you're changing the subject.

I had to go pee,
and he said, "Here, have a shot."

[Johnny] [bleep] You talked to him first!

Not to mention you were sitting down
with him from the beginning

-just to make me mad.
-He was telling me about Bridgewater.

-I think you're just over--
-I'm [bleep] sick of it, dude.

I think you're just over-analyzing
the whole situation.

-No, I'm not over-analyzing it.
-Okay--

Brett, Jordan, Tabitha, they all sat there
and was like, "That's [bleep]."

[Averey] Okay!

-[Johnny] [bleep] sick of it.
-Okay.

[Johnny] You [bleep] get off
to doing that?

Do you really get off
to aggravating me all the time?

[Averey] Can we please not fight
on the streetcar?

[bleep], dude. [bleep].

Do we really have to [bleep] fight
right here?

And I feel very disrespected.
Like, you don't believe me?

I was not flirting with him.
Like, get away from me.

♪ We're in the fight of our lives ♪

[intense music playing]

Great, now I just want to go to bed.
And I don't want to speak to Johnny,

and I don't want to see Johnny right now

because I'm hurt
and I'm upset, and I feel betrayed.

So, right now--

You think I'm letting you go
that [bleep] easy?

-[Averey] I don't want to talk to you.
-[Johnny] End the confessional.

Jealousy is definitely
one of my weak traits.

It's a kryptonite of mine.

My greatest fear is Averey lets me down.

Girls have shown me time and time again

that they prove themselves wrong.

I'm not your past. I'm your present!

-It doesn't matter. Girls are girls.
-It does matter!

What have I ever done
to make you not trust me?

Dude, it's just in little circumstances,
like the guy at the bar.

If I sat in that table
and talked to a girl like that

for an hour and a half,
how would you feel?

-I don't know.
-[Johnny] Come on.

How would you feel? An hour and a half?

I'm getting really mad,
and I don't want to deal with you.

-No.
-[Johnny] No way.

I'm done with the high school.
Like, I'm done.

[sighs] I'm done.

I did nothing wrong with that man.
Like, pisses me off. [bleep] you, Johnny.

You say you believe me
and you trust me this much,

but apparently you don't.

You don't trust me, you don't believe me,
and you don't deserve me.

I don't deserve you?

-No.
-Why?

-[Averey] I'm done.
-Done. That's it?

I don't even know what else to say.

[crying] What do you want me to say, dude?

What the [bleep] do you want me to say?

-Eh?
-[somber music playing]

I'm trying here.

This is [bleep] embarrassing.

I just cried. [exhales deeply]

[Averey]

[Johnny] This [bleep] sucks!

[Nia] Daisy.

Why do you eat so fast, though?

-[Tyler] Hey, what's up?
-[Jessica] Whatcha doing?

[Tyler] I'm watching
Texas Chain Saw m*ssacre, you know.

I can't wait to see you.
I just wish I could just, like,

run and jump on you
and just give you a big ol' hug and kiss.

I like you, Tyler.
I talk to my mom about you a lot. [laughs]

I even told my dad
that I was dating you.

-You make me happy. You make me glow.
-[mid-tempo music playing]

You are one of the most amazing people
I've ever met.

I just want to kiss your face right now.

I'm gonna lick your face.
I will lick your face.

I'm now trusting myself
to care for this relationship.

He's perfect, he's nice
and kind and sweet and funny.

And not to freak you out or anything,
but if you and I got serious,

[Tyler] Uh…

I'm actually probably going
to bed here shortly

'cause, you know,
I have to wake up early for a meeting,

and, um…

-Are you okay?
-[Tyler] …we were at--

-[Tyler] Huh?
-I said, are you okay?

-[Tyler] Yeah, I'm okay.
-Okay.

-[Tyler] Why?
-You just seem a little off.

♪ Deep inside your heart ♪

♪ Are you who you thought you'd be? ♪

♪ Beauty with age, nothing more ♪

♪ Everything else is vanity ♪

Okay, so it's the morning of zombies.

Had a rough night last night.
I don't even understand

how the fight
between Johnny and I started.

[Johnny] We're both acting stupid.
Why are we doing this?

I have a splitting headache.

[Averey] I did nothing wrong.

I don't understand,
still, what I did wrong.

I honestly, I don't get it.

♪ But you got the best of me ♪

-You're taking a book too?
-[Averey] For-- Just for the car.

-[Jordan scoffs]
-[Averey] Leave it in the van.

[Jordan] You'll never survive
a zombie apocalypse.

I am a bit apprehensive
going to this weekend

because Johnny and Averey
are freshly coming off of a big fight.

I just don't get it.
I don't know why they're so jealous.

Johnny, stuff.

It's horrible being stuck
in the middle of these two.

[belches]

[uplifting music playing]

-[Marlon] Morning.
-[Anastasia] Morning.

[keyboard keys clicking]

I look at my email,
and I have a message from Tyler.

I'm super excited.

[somber music playing]

[Jessica] One moment I'm his princess,

he wants to make me smile,
I make him happy.

In the next email,
he's like, "I don't know."

I wasn't gonna put myself out there,
but I did,

and I got screwed over.

He broke up with me in an email.

After he was saying,
"I planned a candlelight picnic, and--"

[Nia] You are--

I wrote out a whole list of stuff to do,
and he's like,

"I'm on the slope of falling
in love with you."

-What the [bleep] is going on with men?
-What is going on in this-- I don't under…

Why? Like,
what could have possibly happened?

I just don't understand.

And he's like, "I don't mean
to be a coward by sending an email."

I'm thinking, you're a [bleep] coward.
That's exactly what you are,

if you think you're falling
in love with somebody,

you don't do that [bleep].

♪ I loved you ♪

♪ I loved you ♪

♪ I loved you so ♪

I think y'all's relationship is beautiful.
I don't think it's over in the least bit.

-It's not. Like, this is just--
-Nia, to my core,

I genuinely-- I don't show it
all the time, but I hate men

because of everything I've been through.

I've been taken advantage of by men,
and I've been stupid enough to trust men

time and time again and think,
"Oh, well, this one's different."

-This one's different.
-Are you gonna be a l*sbian?

-[Jessica] Hell, no.
-[Nia] Okay, so you have

-a beautiful guy like Tyler.
-I just thought Tyler was different.

Just listen. You can go…

You can meet a guy like Tyler,
who's awesome, who's amazing,

and until you have
a ring on that finger, honey,

just don't ever give them 100%.

-Men just do this. They all do.
-I don't like it.

-It doesn't make me feel good.
-Well, guess what, princess.

You can't control the universe.

[rock music playing]

[Anastasia] So I have a serious question.
What happened with Jessica?

-Um…
-I mean, if you are allowed--

Yeah, I mean, I'm sure
she's gonna tell you anyway.

But, he's just getting, like,
cold feet out of nowhere.

It was, like, surprising
that such a big dude would, like--

[Anastasia] Did he say, like,
"We're done," though?

He just said, "I think
that we shouldn't see each other

for the remainder of the time
that you're here in Portland."

I just saw this coming,
like, a little bit, though.

If you walked into her room,
and now there's, like,

12 pictures of you and her,
like, what the [bleep]?

I do feel bad that Jessica got dumped,

but it's like, when you put up
a million pictures of a guy,

and you have key chains made,
what do you expect to happen?

True story.

True story from a real-a*s b*tch
with toothpaste on her face.

-[Anastasia chuckles] Go wash it off.
-Let me go-- I gotta go get dressed.

[Anastasia] You need to go wash that off
of your face. [chuckles]

[Daisy barks]

[Marlon's dad over phone] I'm glad
you called, 'cause what we're doing is,

we're doing just a family prayer.
Everybody, when you get up in the morning,

say a prayer for direction,
guidance, and extra blessings.

And we're gonna do that
as the whole family.

-I sent a text message out to everybody.
-Okay, for the next three days?

I haven't told my dad about my experience

just because I just feel extra guilty
when I let him down.

He's done too much for me
for me not to do the simple things,

like not having sex,
not cussing, being a good example.

[Marlon's dad] All right, I love you,
I'll talk to you later.

All right. Love you too, Pops.

-[Marlon's dad] Okay, man.
-All right, bye.

[Marlon's dad] Bye.

♪ I like to think that I'm prepared ♪

♪ For the end times
No matter our manner of doom ♪

♪ And I'm not scared
That's what I tell you… ♪

I can't wait to taste zombie blood.

♪ I know you know I know it's not true ♪

[Averey] All right,
let's do the damn thing.

Averey might have some buried emotions
from last night,

so maybe the zombie camp
will let her cool off,

and hopefully we do just mend it
and put it behind us.

[Johnny] Hey, guys.

-[Averey] Hey!
-[Johnny] Hello.

-I'm Jordan.
-[man 1] What's up, bro?

I was gonna go around with everybody.

So what's been popping?
What's been happening?

-[woman] We did some, uh--
-[man 2] Sword fighting.

Sword throwing and attacking,
which was a lot of fun.

Everyone seems very nice

and outgoing and excited
just as much as we are.

My mom and I are huge zombie fans,
so we know what to do in an apocalypse.

We even have a plan.

Do you have
The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks?

-Yes, we do.
-Yeah?

All in all,
I think we're all a bunch of weirdos.

Like, something is off in everyone's head
to actually be in this zombie thing.

[Jamie] Everybody here? Great.

We're gonna have
a lot of short skirmishes today.

Okay? Again,
they're gonna get worse and worse,

so we're gonna start out
with the easy ones

and learn how to throw
heavy melee weapons.

So we're gonna be doing
some hatchet throwing right now.

This guy Jamie is perfect
to be the zombie man.

This guy's a nut case,
and he's gonna k*ll zombies,

he's gonna tell us how to survive.

[Jamie] Throwing weapons are great.

Worst-case scenario is you miss,
and the thing is still coming at you.

That's why you keep two.

One to throw and split heads,
the other one to get close to take it off.

Who wants to go first
and try and split the melon?

-[indistinct chatter]
-[Johnny] Ah dude, no.

Johnny and Averey,
I can see there's some irritation.

There's some tension between 'em.

[Johnny] I wanted the melon.

Jordan's in the middle playing referee.

Hey, that fight last night,
what the hell started that anyway?

We don't know. I don't know.
I don't want to talk about it.

-[Jordan chuckles]
-It was definitely him.

[chuckles] She just threw you
under the bus.

-[all cheer]
-"It was all him."

-I'm not even happy about that situation.
-Dude, it was, like, awesome one second,

-and then--
-It was him just--

-I don't want to talk about it.
-Johnny just wanted to yell at me.

[all groan]

[Jamie] Someone… I want to see
someone crack it in half.

[Averey] Hey, don't push me.
Thank you, kind sir.

[sighs]

No hesitation.

[man] I'm sorry, Mom.

[crowd cheer, applaud]

[Jamie] There you go.

[Averey] Johnny, don't piss me off
with a hatchet in my hand.

[upbeat music playing]

-[Jessica] Thank you.
-[Marlon] Yep.

[Jessica] I asked Marlon to go to church

because right now
I'm feeling spiritually deflated,

and I really need a pick-me-up.

Oh, goodness. [sighs]

She's dealing with her breakup with Tyler.

I'm dealing with the fact
that I just slept with some chick,

and we're both just dealing with loss.

You have to stop processing carnally
and begin to see spiritually.

"Carnal" is the same word that comes
from the root "Carnivorous."

Carnivore. Meat eater.

Dealing with the flesh.

This pastor is talking to me.

He's talking to me
about what I'm dealing with.

[pastor] "I feel like
hooking up with a girl."

You must apply some spiritual discipline.

I have to ask for guidance.
I have to ask for prayer

because I'm letting God down.

I've done a lot of stuff I shouldn't have.

I've done a lot of stuff
that I've just gotta cut out.

-[indistinct chatter]
-[man]

-["Say" playing]
-♪ Try my best… ♪

[man] God bless you, man.

♪ To not make your mistakes… ♪

[man]

♪ But when I do, at least I can say ♪

♪ Life's good ♪

♪ I'm living it up, and my life is good ♪

[song fades]

[upbeat music playing]

[Jamie] Bring it back in.
A resource has been lost.

Here's what happens.

Last night, the bus driver got eaten.

-Oh, no!
-[Jamie] Must have dropped the keys

somewhere out in the woods.
Go find the bus keys.

And remember,
zombies don't have [bleep] else to do,

so they are going to pursue you
until you down them all.

We have a sock mace.
A sock with another sock stuffed inside.

-Boop! [chuckles]
-Ow.

[Jamie] Everybody, come grab a bow.

We are using bow and arrows.

Set it up like that. [laughs]

To k*ll the zombie,
you have to hit him in the head,

-the chest, or the back.
-[Averey chuckles]

If the zombie touches you anywhere,
you are now turned into a zombie,

and you have to go k*ll the humans.

[whistles] Let's go. Come on.

[chuckles, grunts]

-♪ Well, I feel so good ♪
-♪ I feel so good… ♪

[Jordan groans]

-♪ And I don't know why ♪
-♪ I don't know why ♪

♪ Well, I don't feel nothing… ♪

-[Johnny] Here you go. Here you go.
-[Jordan] Johnny, another one!

-Johnny, another one!
-Go!

[Jordan] Johnny, put another one in it.

[Averey]

[groans]

-[all laugh]
-[indistinct chatter]

[Johnny imitates zombie]

Johnny doesn't have a very good
zombie growl.

No, wouldn't be intimidated
if Johnny was a zombie. I'd sh**t him.

[Johnny imitates zombie]

[growls]

-[Johnny imitates zombie]
-[all laugh]

You know, I'm kinda getting
that aggression out.

It makes me feel so much better.

Dude, I was so pissed off
at you this morning.

-[Johnny] Why?
-[Averey] Because I woke up,

and my eyes were poofy.

You were mean.

[Johnny] Dude, we're hunting zombies
right now, so get in the right mind-set.

[uplifting music playing]

I'm so pissed right now about everything.
I don't like rejection

because I've never felt truly,
truly accepted by anybody

in my life except my mother.

Don't let it beat down on you
so much because here's the thing.

The bond and the relationship
and the growing

that we're gonna get for this--
from this lasts forever.

I'm very happy
that Marlon and I are talking.

That's what I've wanted
from the beginning.

I wanted to be close on some level
and understand all of my roommates.

[Marlon] You're doing good.

-[Jessica] Hmm.
-[Marlon] Just keep going.

What's going on with your life?

Honestly, the biggest thing
I'm afraid of in my life

is disappointing my father and my family.

And honestly, like,
at this point in my life,

I realize I am a very terrible Christian.

-I am a terrible…
-Don't do that to yourself.

…weak Christian. God should look at me
and just be like, "You suck."

[Jessica] I just wanted to shake him
and say, "Wake up!"

"Don't be so hard on yourself.
You are a good man."

"We do fail, but we have a God
that loves us anyways."

Every day, you learn a lesson.
And just take that.

Don't make-- Look at me.
Do not make yourself feel guilty for that.

You're not perfect.
You'll never be perfect.

Guilting yourself into a depression
is not going to glorify God.

You'll be okay.
It'll be all right, Mar. Come here.

[Marlon] Hmm, thank you.

[Jessica] I can't tell you
how good it feels to get…

To hug somebody. [chuckles]

-Thank you, really, though.
-Thank you.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

We gotta survive zombies
through the night, dude.

Nighttime scenario.
We are being brought out into the woods.

Basically, it's to simulate
trying to sleep through the night

and hide from predators.
The predators are zombies.

[suspenseful music playing]

[owl hooting]

[Averey]

-[zombie growling]
-[owl hooting]

What was that? Was that
a person, a bird, or an animal?

[Averey]

-[Averey]
-[Johnny]

[growls]

[growls, gobbles]

I'm dead. I'm dead.

-[Zombie gobbling]
-[Johnny] No.

It was so fun.
It was so sick. I had a blast.

Those are the best times.
You're like, "I'm a kid again, yeah."

I don't want to leave zombie camp.

-Bye, everyone.
-Yeah, but not if--

-Yes.
-[Johnny] See you guys.

-It was nice to meet you guys.
-[Jordan] Nice meeting you all.

It helps, it really helps, just
to kind of take a break from everything,

figure out your problems,

realize if there really is
a zombie apocalypse,

you have to love each other,

'cause without it,
you guys are just going to fall apart.

So it just makes us closer.

-[Johnny growls]
-[Averey chuckles]

So your mom listened to hip-hop and rock.

-That's dope. That's dope.
-Yeah, my stepmom did, growing up.

[Reggie] That's fresh.
So, would you be open to do vocals

on the hip-hop tracks, songs?

-That down south twang is fresh.
-[Jessica chuckles]

[Jessica] I don't know.
That b*tch all thirsty and junk.

[both laugh]

[Reggie] Oh, intro. Here's the intro.

[Jessica] After going to church
with Marlon and talking with him,

I feel like Marlon seems happier,
Marlon seems a little bit more light.

I feel good about it.
I feel like I've gained a friend.

I feel like I'm about to do
some karaoke in here. [chuckles]

[Reggie] Go.

[Jessica]
♪ Them b*tches all thirsty and junk ♪

♪ Thirsty and junk
b*tches all thirsty and junk ♪

[all laugh]

-Yeah.
-[Reggie] Yeah.

That last one, dude.

Jessica's way more vibrant.
She's just happy-go-lucky.

[Marlon] Going through a breakup,
it sucks, so that's awesome,

that she can get that release.

[Jessica over speaker]
♪ b*tches all thirsty and junk ♪

♪ b*tches, b*tches all thirsty and junk ♪

Yeah.

♪ b*tches all thirsty and junk ♪

♪ Thirsty and junk ♪

-Yeah. [chuckles]
-[Reggie] Slap.

That is gold slap, dog!

Whoo! Another one in the booth.

-Y'all are funny.
-[Reggie] That's the beauty of creativity.

Dude, they gonna slap
that in the clubs, y'all.

-[all chuckle]
-[Reggie] Oh, we got it going tonight.

["All Those Friendly People" playing]

♪ Count back, anesthetize
Colors burn into my eyes ♪

♪ Life for you is shades of gray
Help me, help me find my way… ♪

[Averey growls]

Averey, in a nutshell, to me, just works.
It really… she just… she's perfect.

[both laugh]

[bleep] stop, my ear.

I just know it's going to work out.

Like, all my reservations
that I've had about not trusting Johnny

has just completely thrown out the window.

-[groans]
-[chuckles]

[Averey] I'm extremely excited
to move to Massachusetts.

Most people think I'm crazy. I don't care.

[Johnny]

♪ I said I was into you
You said you were into me ♪

["All Those Friendly People" concludes]

Get, like, the major spots.

[Averey] Dude, it's gonna go
all over your face.

-What?
-[Averey] This is a whole mask.

-Do I keep my eyes closed or what?
-Yeah, you can keep your eyes closed.

[Johnny] Watch my eyes, man.

Watch the eyelashes
with that other finger.

[Averey] Chill, bro.
Who's the professional here?

[Johnny] Not you. You just hit my eyelash.

Well, that's what you get
for having girl eyelashes, okay?

-[Johnny] Watch it.
-Bro, perfection takes time.

Okay.

All right, go wash your hands.
Let's play pool.

What do I look like?

[narrator] There's more of The Real World
on the way, and it starts right now.