- What do you know about Johnny Spells?
- Some job went South.
He was sticking up a bank
and he got into the Harvest Men.
- Oh the Harvest Men?
I even went to the Harvest
Festival, growing up.
- They're a hard core cult.
- What?
- Harvest Men want the apocalypse.
So what they were trying to do was
to create a hell mouth.
Portal to Hell that would be something
that had to do with a
religious iconography
or had some kind of
connection to the lower plane.
"Oh, God, thank God you're here Kristen.
"Somebody attacked the church!"
The door to the rectory is missing.
- I think somebody softened
the stone around it
and then pulled the doorway away.
- I think that doorway
might be the thing that
somebody would need to go through
to make the apocalypse happen.
- All right, back to school.
- I wanna disguise
myself as a Harvest Men.
- You guys hear a colossal shrieking noise
and the breaking of stone
on the Bloodrush field.
- Well run!
- We run towards it.
- Coach Daybreak turns, smiles.
"Let's play ball!"
- Hoot, growl, hoot, growl,
hoot, growl, hoot, growl.
- Hi guys and welcome
back to Fantasy High.
My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan.
These are our intrepid heroes.
Say hi, intrepid heroes.
- Hi intrepid heroes!
- They keep doing it and
it's funny every time.
Guys, last we left off,
our heroes rushed the Bloodrush field
to see Coach Daybreak and his
team of skeletal owlbears.
The battle begins
as the arch from the Church of Sol
glimmers with kinetic, magic potential.
Not fully opened yet.
- Hey Kristen, when this in your church
were all those skulls there?
- Yeah did you have all those skulls?
- Yeah, what's
up with these skulls?
- There were just a few skulls
but they were more to remember
what not to be.
- Okay, uh huh.
- That's a red flag.
- Now, all of you guys.
Twilight fade, the sun sets in the West.
Skeletons charge forward
as Coach Daybreak blows on his whistle.
Fabian, you are first to act.
- All right, can I first
call to the Hangman?
Or however we communicate?
- By all means you may.
What do you say to the Hangman?
- "Hangman, to the Bloodrush
field, post haste."
- "Master, I come with all
the swiftness of Hell."
- "Oh, fantastic."
- You see that the Hangman responds to you
and says, "Right now, I am back
"waiting for you at the
home of Kristen Applebees.
"I will rush there as soon as I can.
"But the sun set.
"So it's rush hour so add
10 minutes on there to"--
- "Just make sure on the yellows,
"just push through."
- "I'll push through,
"on the yellows, Master."
- Fantastic, and with that,
I think I'll,
so I see you mentioned that there's
a chest on the field?
- Yes, actually, go ahead
and make a perception check.
- Oh wow, a fifteen.
- Looking forward, you see not a ball
but a sort of smoking purple orb
in the hand of one of the skeletons,
that is kind of c*ck a hand back
with this orb, basically.
- Like he's going to throw it?
- Like he's going to throw it.
- Fantastic.
I'll take a dash action
and move further to
this side of the field.
As far forward into this side
of the field as I can.
- Go ahead and grab Fabian there
and move him diagonally
one, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine.
You have three squares of
movement left if you like.
- Yeah, I'll go
over there.
- 12, you guys see Fabian f*cking dart,
this, whoosh, just
tearing across the field.
That is going to be Daybreak.
Yeah, you see Coach Daybreak
darting through the skeletons,
blowing his whistle.
And Coach Daybreak action surges
and is going to take some swings.
- That's fine.
- Ah, okay, oof.
- Oof is always good.
- Love an oof.
- Yeah, hearing a ton of dice.
- Yeah, a ton.
- I'm ready to play some defense here.
- Coach Daybreak slashes
you with his spear
for 18 points of damage.
Whoooa!
"Shouldn't of come back to the field kid,
"you got no heart."
- "Is that the best you've got?"
- That's gonna be Adaine.
- I'm gonna move to here.
I'm gonna cast Fly on my
boy Gorgug right here.
And then I'm gonna
move forward the rest of my movement.
- Does Gorgug know that
you did that to him?
- Yes.
- "What are you doing?
"What's happening?"
- You can fly now!
- What?
- Good luck!
- Ahh!
- One, two, three, four
five, six, seven, eight,
- oh sh*t!
- Nine, ten, 11, 12.
Whhooo, just rushing.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight,
nine, 10, 11, 12,
Bum, bum, bum,
- holy sh*t, what the f*ck?
- You guys see these
skeletons rush the field.
"Hoot, growl, hoot, growl, hoot, growl!"
- Who has the ball?
- People have died doing this—
- Guy in the back.
- That is going to be Riz.
- Okay, I would like to
use my investigate skill,
my Inquisitive Archetype
to see where the quarterback
is eyeing to throw the ball.
- Okay.
- Let's see who he's eyeing.
That's gonna be a 23.
- 23, you see that this,
not that the quarterback
has any eyes to speak of,
but his empty, hollow, sockets
seem to be pointed in the direction
of this receiver, rushing past Fabian.
- All right, I am just going to
stand in front of here
and ready an action to sh**t somebody
or grab the ball if it comes near,
like kind of play goalie.
- You're going to ready an action
to do what, specifically,
when what happens?
- If somebody throws the ball at it
I'm gonna try to catch it or block it.
- Okay, you're gonna try to
catch the ball if, gotcha, cool.
- Or swat it out of somebody's hand.
I'm gonna play goalie.
- Ah, rad, Fig that's you.
- Okay, so I am currently
disguised as a Harvest Men.
- That's correct.
Does it seem like they're buying it?
- The amount of chaos on
the field in front of you
makes it seem like a social interaction
at this point and time,
may not have a high likelihood of success.
- Okay, then I would like to run—
- I relayed that information to everybody
that he's looking at this guy.
- Yeah, yeah.
- In elvish,
- What happened?
- And then I whispered it to Gorgug.
- Okay, I would like to,
I am a Harvest Men.
So I'm gonna run over here
and I'm gonna shout to Daybreak,
"Hey, I'm here to help
you clean up this mess."
- Fig, go ahead and
make me a deception roll
with disadvantage if you'd be so kind.
- I got a 24.
- Really?
Your worst roll.
- Yeah, I got a 14
and then a 13
and I have 11 deception.
- You see Daybreak goes,
"Hell yeah, brother,
"get in here, help out."
- And then I'm going to
cast suggestion on him
because that's the closest.
And say, "Give me the ball.
"Pass me the ball."
That's a wisdom saving throw.
- What's the DC on that?
- 16.
- The skeleton goes, "Arrrgh!"
and starts rushing right towards you.
- Hmmm, and then I'm gonna wink at,
I'm gonna wink at old Riz
and give him some Bardic Inspiration.
- All right.
- That's gonna be Kristen.
- I'm gonna cast Bless on you three.
- Oh sweet.
- Cool.
- And then, what was
that other thing I had?
- Gotta remember that I'm blessed.
- Hashtag blessed.
- Oh yeah, I'm gonna move out
like as far as I can
get towards the middle.
- One, two, three, four, five,
six, is where?
- Yeah, you have high AC.
So it'd probably be good if we have to
play a ball game, a little bit.
It seems like high armor class
would be good to have in
the back near the goal.
The apocalypse goal, as it were.
- Gorgug, it's gonna be you baby.
- So I am flying, which means
I get more movement?
- Yeah, you get 60 more movement.
- Or 60 movement, total.
- And you can go up and down as well.
- Hey dude, sack 'em.
- that's forward.
- f*cking leap over the line, man.
- I don't think I can get
all the way there though?
With 60?
- Well it's 60 movement which means
you can take a dash and a regular movement
and do 120.
- I still couldn't
attack at the end, right?
- Dude, no, no, jump on top.
Can he get there and
jump on top of the ball?
- You're taking your action to move.
So, no.
- But at least you'd be there.
- I wanna run to the guy
I think he's gonna throw it to, first.
Because I don't think,
in any case it'd get there
in two turns no matter what,
if I get there.
- If you can get there in one turn
you can ready an action.
- I can't, if I use my action, right?
- Yes, you have 60 feet to move.
Where to you wanna move?
- I wanna move to, okay,
so one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight,
nine, 10, 11.
So, I have 60 feet of movement?
Can I move 11 squares?
- Yes.
- Yeah, for sure.
- I'm gonna go here.
And I'm gonna go into a rage.
How about I just smack this guy?
- A flying rage?
- It's like, so anime.
- Could you make acrobatics check
for me if you would be so kind?
- Oh yeah, yes, with Bless?
- With Bless, yeah.
- I got a 23, 23.
- With a 23, how does Gorgug fly,
when he flies?
- I think he's like, kind of like,
just like headfirst, like arrrrgh!
- Goku style?
- Yeah.
- You're like three feet above the ground
just screaming like a comet.
- Three feet above the ground, so lateral.
Look Like a Roomba.
- Ahhhhh!
- Gorgug, you run and just f*cking scream.
And you're holding your action?
Or you're gonna attack?
- I was gonna attack.
- Go for it.
- First one is 15.
Does that hit?
- A 15 does hit, yes.
- Okay, cool.
So I hit him for, yes, 18.
- Arghhh, bones all in the f*cking air.
Gone baby, just dust.
- That was too easy.
They're gonna start
coming out of that chest.
- More outta here.
- As soon as you hit that one,
you see that the quarterback sees
their intended target
obliterated, goes, "huuuah?"
Switches at the last second.
Their throw has disadvantage
as a result of having to
switch at the last second.
And is going to throw to another receiver.
Okay, quarterback throws
this receiver over here,
bam, gets the ball.
Daybreak goes, "Good pass.
"Good hustle on the field!"
- I pretend like, "Yeah, we're
winning, right Daybreak?"
- Fabian, your turn.
- So the ball has been passed.
So it's on the other
side of the field now?
Yes it is.
- Yes, ball's on the
other side of the field.
- You know, I'll stay engaged in combat
with the man who would
not let me on the team.
So yeah, I'll attack Coach Dawnstar.
- Daybreak, it's good, it's all good.
- Hey if I were on the team I would know.
18?
- Hits.
And you have your extra
attack ability as well.
- I do, so should I roll that right now?
- Yeah, if you're gonna attack him again
go for it.
- And that's 13.
- 13 misses.
- okay.
A 13.
- Your rapier flicks out
and slashes through his sweatshirt.
He leans out of the way
and just a tiny snick across the arm.
"Ah, don't see the moves
from tryouts today."
That's now going to be Daybreak,
who's gonna come back at 'cha.
Daybreak's gonna hit you for
12 points of damage.
Huuuah!
Slicing you again.
That is going to be Adaine.
- I would like to cast Web.
One, two, three, four,
by one, two, three, four.
So basically, these four guys
here on the left.
- Those four right there, hell yeah.
- And my saving throw's,
it's a dex saving throw.
And it's 15.
Is my spell saving DC.
- DC is 15, okay.
Okay, big hulking bruiser.
And the one with the ball.
Cool, the thinner, smaller skeletons
leap through the web.
As it runs the bruiser is stuck in place.
- And what does having
a bonus action mean?
Does that just mean because I have,
I haven't moved, I get to do,
or is that the thing
the other people have?
- Bonus action only applies if you have
an ability that allows you to use
a bonus action, basically.
- Oh, okay.
Which I don't think I have any of, right?
- No, I do not believe you do.
- Okay, I was just confused that
other people got that.
"I don't think I have any of those."
- Cool, the skeletons go,
so these two are gonna come for Gorgug.
- Bring it on.
- This one goes for Fig.
- But I look like a Harvest Men?
- Oh, you do look like a Harvest Men.
Doesn't go for you.
Goes for Kristen.
- You have way higher AC than me.
- Adaine, this one comes
for Adaine as well.
This guy sprints for the door.
Riz, you have your readied action,
at this point.
- With a Bless, don't forget!
- I'm going to—
- And Bardic Inspiration if you need it.
- I'm gonna try to—
- Oh yeah, move Bardic Inspiration.
- Wait, you don't even need to
because I'm gonna give you my Nat 20
on my Divination roll
that I got this morning.
- Cool, I'm gonna kind of blast
the ball out of his hand.
- So you wanna blast the
ball out of his hand?
With a Nat 20 anything is possible.
So you see, this skeleton with the orb
under his hand goes, "Argh!"
You see that the door starts to glimmer
and shine red with dark shadows.
As the door and portal's
about to open you, boom!
Ball perfectly up in the air.
You snag it as this skeleton dives
at what he thought was gonna be a portal
but instead becomes nothing.
Slams his head into the back
of f*cking nothing.
You have the ball.
- Jesus Christ, Riz has the ball.
- The Ball has the ball!
The ball has the ball!
- The ball has to go
back in the chest people.
That's what needs to happen.
- In Elvish.
- Yeah, I say that in Elvish.
- Gorgug, what she said was—
- Insane!
Now they're gonna make
some grapple checks.
- Aw sh*t.
- Adaine I'm gonna need you to make
some opposed athletics checks.
- I love it.
I'm so good at athletics.
Minus two.
- Do you beat a 13?
Let me know.
- Eight, 10, no, I got an eight.
- Another skeleton takes a swing at you
for eight points of damage.
With a sword, you are also grappled.
One of them has tackled you to the ground.
Kristen I'm gonna need you to make
an opposed athletics check.
- Ah, 17.
- One of these guys leaps at you
and you crack him across
the head with your staff
down to the ground.
- So he's on the ground now?
- Yeah, he flopped
down, trying to get you.
Other guys, tied up in webs.
Gorgug, I'm gonna need you to make these,
you make these with
advantages, you're raging.
- Okay.
- And I believe you have Bless.
- Yes.
- Let me know if you beat a seven.
Doesn't seem like it'll be too hard.
- I got one Nat 1.
But I had a 10, outside of that.
And then plus—
- athletic 17.
- And plus athletic 17.
- Go ahead and make another
roll with advantage.
- A Nat 20, and a 17, and two.
Yeah Nat 20.
- Both of these guys leap at you
and boom, boom!
They're f*cking on the deck.
- Hiahh!
- Incredible, now it is
going to be Riz's turn.
- Full dash action to Gorgug
and I hop on his back.
- "Get us to the goal baby!"
- "I know how this game works."
Riz definitely doesn't
know anything about sports.
- Incredible, Fig that's you.
- I'm going to move over here.
And I'm going to look,
actually I'd like to move here.
And I'm gonna project a Cone of Fear
on these four guys.
- Whooo, rad, okay.
And what is the DC on that?
- The DC will be 16 Wisdom Saving Throw.
- 16 Wisdom Saving Throw.
- I project a fantesmal
image of their worst fears.
- Whoa!
- Jesus Christ.
- And then if they don't succeed
then they become frightened.
They have to drop whatever they're holding
and try to run away.
- You hit a "wha, wha,
wha, wha," on your guitar
and a cone of just sound and pure rock—
- I'm using my ruby guitar pick.
- "Rwoooowww!"
The three skeletons that are tackling
Adaine and Kristen, all look
and you see, made of
pure, sonic vibration,
"Whoo, whoo, whoo," a
giant bulldog appears.
They all go
to try to start running away.
That's going to be Kristen.
- That's awesome.
Let's see,
wait, so this Harvest Men just showed up
with a bass guitar?
They didn't think anything of it.
- They probably have
figured it out by now.
But you did get that one pass,
which makes it worth it.
- I still shout back to Daybreak
and I say, "We're on the same team, guy!"
- I'm just gonna use my turn
to Bless the other three of us.
- Actually, one thing about Bless
is I think it might be
a concentration spell?
I think we might have
gotten this wrong last time.
So I think you can actually only Bless,
yeah, the three people that you Blessed.
- Oh, okay, cool, dang.
Then I am going to—
- You have undead stuff, right?
- Yeah—
- well these guys
are already turned away though.
- Yeah, so I have a 30
foot radius for this.
So I'm gonna get as close as I can
to this cluster.
- That guys gonna get an
attack of opportunity on you.
- Is he? He's frightened.
- He'll get it with, oh he is frightened.
He can only run.
- Yeah.
- f*ck me.
Too scared to hit 'ya.
- How many spaces is 30 feet?
- Six squares.
- One, two, three, four, five, six.
And then I am going,
I don't really have a religion right now
but I'm going to
take out 'On the Subject
of World Religions'
and channel Divinity.
- Dude, how cool.
Are you doing, Turn Undead?
- I have Turn Undead and Destroy Undead.
- Now, Destroy Undead
automatically happens
when you Turn Undead.
So they're gonna make
Wisdom Saving throws.
- Cool, so I'll do that for those four
or those three guys.
- Daybreak is not undead, he's alive,
but the two skeletons there
are gonna roll a Wisdom Saving throw.
- What do you say as
your holding this book
of comparative world religions aloft?
- "Sometimes it's sad to have more
"questions than answers,
"but living la vida loca!"
- Both skeletons explode into dust.
- Living la vida loca.
- Look, I was, really, Ricky Martin
is the only thing I've fully believed in.
- Maybe your real religion is dance.
- Oh my god, you're right.
Or poppers.
- Or hips.
- Yes.
- That is going to be Gorgug.
- Outside inside out.
- Well, I'm gonna take a full dash action
and go with Riz on my back,
to try to put the thing in the—
- Dunk the ball?
- Dunk it.
- Dunk the ball, dunk the ball.
The double ball.
- And so, I'm like this, and I—
- Cool, I'm going to need you
to make an opposed athletics check for me.
- And that's at an advantage?
- That is going to be with advantage, yes.
- Okay, I got a 24.
- 24, that's good.
It's not as good as a Nat 20.
First of all, you take off
into the f*cking air.
So you are up, flying towards this
and you hear, "f*cking loser!"
And Ragh Barkrock comes running,
leaps, bam, hits you mid air,
fully grapples you to the ground.
Riz, I'm gonna need you to make
a Dexterity Saving Throw.
- 14, 18.
- You do not go prone.
Now make a strength saving throw.
- Did you ever use your
Bardic Inspiration?
- Oh wait, hang on, wait.
- 14, Dexterity Saving Throw, sorry.
Plus seven, 11, 21.
- 21 is great.
You do not go prone.
Go ahead and make a Strength Saving Throw.
- Did you ever use your
Bardic Inspiration?
- No, I might do it for
the Strength Saving Throw.
I'm not good at strength.
12 minus two, 10.
- The orb goes—
- I'm gonna do, I'm gonna
use my Bardic Inspiration.
- All right, let's see
if you can get a 15.
- Please, f*cking five or six.
- Yes! - Five!
- A visage of me appears and winks at you.
- I need to be
good at sports right now.
- You spring from there,
fully on your feet.
Ragh is gonna take some
more swings at you, Gorgug.
- Who?
- Ragh, who's on top of you.
Take's a sword out from his back.
Hits you for that one.
Ah, buh, buh, bum.
- So many dice.
- You take 13 plus 17,
so you take 17 points of damage
halved to eight.
- 71.
- He's still flying though.
- You still are flying
but Ragh is like
fully on you, slashing the sword.
"f*cking loser!
"You f*cking go after Coach, dude,
"I'll f*cking k*ll you."
- My God, I wanna go after Coach now.
- So yeah, your movement was halved
but you never took your action, Gorgug,
actually on this turn.
Because he had a readied action.
So if you wanna take your action you can.
- I have to get out of the grapple,
so I wanna try it.
- You can deal damage to him if you want.
Or you can break out of the grapple.
- I'm gonna deal damage to him.
- Purple nurple.
- This is hot.
- What is the effect of the damage?
Is it halved or something?
Because of the grapple there?
- Well no, it might be halved because
he's in a rage right now.
- Oh, great.
- But you are prone.
So you do have disadvantage.
- Okay, I'm just gonna attack him anyway.
- Okay, cool.
- Can I do all three of my attacks?
If I never did my—
- You can do all three of your attacks.
- This is my first one.
Okay, so that is seven, eight, nine, 16.
- 16 hits.
- Don't you have just one dice
because you have advantage from raging?
- No, that's a different,
after they do reckless attacks.
So that hits, all right.
I hit him for 11.
- 11 points of damage, damn.
- Then the next one.
But halved, obviously I guess.
Oh, f*ck, I had a Nat 20 in there.
But the lower one is 22.
- 22, hits, yes.
- So that would be
eight plus six.
- That's gonna be, what 14?
So that's another seven?
- And then my last frenzy attack.
That is only a 11.
- 11 does not hit.
You just see Ragh and Gorgug just
rolling on the f*cking rocks.
Cracking the stone underneath them
with the force of their
hitting each other.
That is going to be Fabian.
- Well I guess I see that Gorgug
and The Ball seem to—
- Seem to have f*cked it up again.
- I mean no, they seem to
have a handle on things.
The Ball seems to have a,
you can handle him, right The Ball?
- I am a tiny goblin,
and there is a giant dude
with spiked shoulder pads.
Like the g*dd*mn road warriors from WWF.
- Having Daybreak near me—
- How many people, that's what—
- Having Daybreak isn't good to me either.
- So I'll continue to
just engage Daybreak.
- Just whale on that dude.
- Yeah, let's whale on him.
- Whale on the coach, man.
- Hey, we're doing my best.
Yeah, I'll take two
more shots at the coach.
- Your dad would be so proud
if you k*lled a coach.
- 19.
- 19, that is going to hit.
- Isn't that a critical hit for you?
- 19 is a critical hit.
- Excuse me, that's with my jab.
If it was a crit.
And then, ugh, and then 10.
- All right, that's one hit though.
- For 13 again.
- Hell yeah.
- And then I will bonus
action to the second wind.
- Coach Daybreak takes another 13.
- And then I'm back up.
We're level five right now.
- That is correct.
- All right then I'm back up to 42.
- Holy sh*t.
- Whoo, that is going
to be Daybreak,
he's gonna come swinging at you again.
He's gonna hit you for
12, 17 points of damage.
And then I'm gonna need you
to make an opposed athletics check please.
- Blessed?
- Blessed, Blessed.
- Oh you're not blessed.
- I'm not blessed right now.
That's 19.
- You guys are just rubbing it in.
- You'll be able to do
a touch heal on him
because you're right there.
- Yeah.
- You take another eight points of damage.
As Coach Daybreak sweeps your legs
out from under you, sends you to your back
and goes, "Hey, better luck next time."
Goes one, two, three, four, five, six,
rushing towards Riz.
That's gonna be Adaine.
Your Web Spell ends, by the way.
- Oh.
- Remember, these people
you can run away from these people
because they're frightened.
- But the bruiser is free.
- I got some trouble down
here in the back field.
- These guys are still
afraid though, right?
- Make an Arcana Check.
- 22?
- Yeah, you can tell that they've
all been affected by a Fear spell.
- What about, that guy's still in the—
- Oh this guy?
Oh, this guy.
- I hadn't thought of that.
If someone threw it to him.
- Yep, that would be bad.
- Hail Mary.
- Can I actually cast Witch Bolt
as a second level spell, on this guy?
So it goes once
and on each of my turns for the duration
you can use your action to deal
one D12 lightning damage,
to the target automatically.
- Yeah, go for it.
- Great.
- Do you have to roll to hit?
- It's a ranged attack.
- Yes. Go ahead and
make that spell attack.
- 10 plus seven, 17?
- 17 hits.
- Great.
- f*ck yeah.
Go Adaine.
- So nine
and seven, so 16?
- 16 points of damage?
- Yeah.
- Jesus.
- You fry that skeleton.
- Yeah, that's
gonna get rid of them.
- Somebody wanna hand me that bad boy.
- And then can I keep on using Witch Bolt?
Even though that guy's dead?
- Unfortunately I don't know
if you can switch targets.
Let me know what the spell says,
if there's anything
about switching targets.
- Target takes—
- I think once that target's toast,
he's just toast.
- Okay, I guess I'll
move back to here.
Just so I'm not directly
in the way of the goal.
- Sure, that's going to be
the skeletons.
These three skeletons
fully rush off the field.
- Yay!
- Bye, bye.
- Cool, cool, they fully just go
run fleeing.
This skeleton turns
and charges straight for you.
- I think you just outed yourself.
- "But I'm a, I'm a Harvest Men."
- You see, and misses you hard
but goes for the tackle and does not hit.
You see the orb crackles
with magical power.
And you see the
the stone breaks around you.
Skeletal arms surge up from the ground
as the orb animates
three skeletal warriors.
- We knew there'd be
some sort of retribution.
- Yeah, this is too easy.
- Around you they all take swings.
What's your armor class?
- 15.
- It's gonna be two hits
for—
- I'm gonna 1/2 one of them
with my cunning or with my uncanny dodge.
- The lunge to the left
or lunge to your right?
- The lunge to my left.
- That was the more damage one.
You take three and then
four points of damage.
And you see that this skeleton over here
readies an action.
Riz that's gonna be your turn.
- Okay, let's see here.
I am going to.
- Do you have any kinda,
like, sneaky sh*t.
- I do have some stuff.
I have lots of sneaky stuff.
I definitely don't wanna throw the ball
into the chest
because that dude is right there.
But I can, okay, here's my plan.
I am going to use Nimble
Escape as a bonus action.
So I get to disengage
without taking opportunity attacks.
And then I'm going to run
sort of,
I don't wanna get too close
this guy's gonna get me.
I'm gonna run sort of center field.
Like, around here.
And then I'm gonna ready an action
to throw the ball to Kristen Applebees
if Daybreak comes for me.
Or if the quarterback comes for me.
- Rad.
- Great.
- Cool, you disengage,
no opportunity attacks.
You have 30 movement, right?
- Yes.
- One, two, three, four, five, six.
Here's good for you?
- Yep.
- And you get ready to throw the ball
if Daybreak comes for you, gotcha.
That's going to be Fig.
- Okay, I'm going to cast
a third level Dissonant Whispers
on Coach Daybreak.
So he has to do a Wisdom Saving throw.
Otherwise I will, well no matter what
I'll do 5D sets
But then he might half it.
- Rad he makes a Wisdom Saving throw.
What's the DC?
- 16.
- Okay, you strike that
lick on the bass.
He turns around.
He see he goes, "You can't get in here.
"God made it rock solid."
And just bright light surrounds his head.
You do half damage.
- Yeah, okay.
"Well I'm still doing damage, b*tch.
"Also you thought I was
a Harvest Men you fool."
Nine, 19, 25, 1/2 damage at 25.
- Half, 25 halved, gotcha.
- You see that his blood starts
coming out the side of his mouth
as just pure rock power
hits him in the face.
- And then I'm gonna wink at Riz again.
- Well, allright.
- Don't get any ideas, because I got
a little someone named Dr. Asha.
- I saw, I saw.
- Kristen, it's gonna be you.
- I saw.
- Okay, great, I am going to reach out,
touch Fabian and cast
a third level healing word.
So I get to cast as
many D4's as the level.
So can I borrow you guy's D4's?
Because I get to roll a three.
- Because healing word is a ranged one
I think your wounds will
do more healing probably.
Because that'll do—
- it's the number of healing
of D8 plus my spell casting ability,
which is five.
- So instead of a D4 it would be a D8.
- When healing increases by a D,
oh, for each level.
Oh, dope, okay, yeah cool.
Then I can touch him.
So I go beep, beep.
- Ah Rad, go ahead and roll those D8's.
And don't forget to add something
for Disciple of Life.
It gives you more, I think, right?
- Probably gives you,
I think it gives you—
- Dueling spell.
- Two plus the spell's level?
- Two plus the spell's level.
It's a third level spell.
So add five to whatever you're doing.
- So I'm gonna add five and then
I'm gonna add another five
because that's my spell casting ability.
So it's three D8's and then 10.
- Yes, here's D8.
- Thanks, can I use your D8 too?
Is this an eight?
- Yep, yep.
- Cool, all right.
This is for you baby.
A seven, a seven, and a six.
So that's 30, you got 30.
- Wow.
- Thanks guys.
- Incredible.
- Are you back at full?
- No, I'm at 47.
- The power of whatever divinity
Kristen is channeling,
fills your body as your wounds—
- Remember when we all believed
in the Corn God for that one round?
- Now I believe in Ricky Martin.
- Just like Latin vibes.
- My body's—
- Sounds of the Caribbean man.
- It's gonna be Gorgug.
- Okay, Gorgug has had enough.
He just wants to get up.
So is that an athletic?
So what do I do to get out of a?
- You're gonna do a athletics check.
You have advantage.
And so does Ragh.
- Okay.
okay, I had a 28.
- 28, oh, you bam!
Kick Ragh square in the chest.
He flies off of you.
It's gonna take half your movement,
which since you're flying, is 30,
for you to get up.
But you have half your movement left.
- Okay, I will take my movement
to stand behind Riz.
In the way of—
- Oh, dope.
- Yeah, the rest of my movement.
- Cool, you just get in front of Riz.
Then that's going to be Ragh.
Ragh stands up.
And he's swinging right for Riz baby.
That's gonna be
17 damage.
- f*ck!
- And then, next takes eight damage.
- I'm at 15.
- Ragh just says, "Rawh, bam, bam, bam."
- This is the same turn as the skeletons
got a crack at me, right?
- Yes, that's correct.
- No it's not, because they surrounded me.
So I can take 1/2 of—
- One of those?
- One of them.
- One of them was 17.
So add eight more points back onto that.
- Good.
- That's Ragh's turn.
That's gonna be Fabian.
- Okay, I'd like to action surge.
And run and grab the ball.
- The Ball or the ball?
- Well The Ball and the ball.
And then I don't know.
I mean, this is probably
the most illogical way.
But in some way, run and
jump over that skeleton
and attempt to throw the ball
and the ball into the chest.
- No, dunk it.
- I guess, or dunk.
- Do I get sealed in Hell?
- Yeah you do, yeah you do.
- Like when you're letting a baby dunk.
- How much of that will you let me do?
- Here's what I'm gonna do.
It's half your movement to stand up.
So that's 15 right there.
Rest of your movement is one, two, three.
you action surge, you action surge
and you also have your other action.
So you can take a dash action
to one, two, three,
four, five, six.
Go ahead and give me
I'm gonna say, an athletics check
to grab Riz.
I don't think Riz is contesting.
So we'll call this a flat,
to not break your movement at all.
I'll say you pick him up on a 10.
You pick him up without breaking
your movement on a 15.
- Great, let's do it.
- Sorry you don't have Bless.
- It's all good.
It's a 17 flat, without my athletics.
I should be on the Bloodrush team.
I belong on this team.
Can I make direct eye
contact with Daybreak
as I flawlessly just pick the ball up.
- You see Daybreak is looking at you
as your just sprinting past.
Unbelievably he goes, "What the Hell?"
So you still have, you've used
your action surge to dash.
You got your movement.
You have your regular action remaining
to get there and dunk this thing in.
- I mean, if that's not possible,
either as much of dunking or
sh**ting The Ball and the ball.
- All of this is legit, thus far.
You're within movement.
This guy has a readied action
and is gonna come and make
an athletics check against you.
This is a very important athletics check.
Can we bring out the Box of Doom,
here real quick?
Fabian Aramaris Seacaster is sprinting
towards the rune covered chest
at the end of the field.
Here we have the Box of Doom
for very important rolls.
This feels pretty damn significant.
I'll tell you straight up.
This skeleton quarterback
has got a plus five to
it's athletics check.
- As do I.
- So it is a matter of, you need to roll
one higher than this quarterback
to not get grappled.
- I'll take those odds.
- Go ahead and set it down right there.
Three, two, one.
- Whoa!
- We both rolled like trash.
- A five and a two.
Just some sloppy play.
- Sloppy play.
You just full on Heisman
this skeleton, bam!
Rush past with Riz and the ball,
make it here.
And I'll just need one last just a DC.
Literally a DC5,
don't roll a one athletics check.
- Seven.
It looks like a one and I was—
- You see, bam!
You slam Riz and the ball into the chest.
- Can I jump out?
- And I immediately turn
and give the middle finger.
- Honestly make a DC15
Dexterity saving throw for that.
- I'm Blessed—
- I'm gonna give him my
other divination roll
which is a 16.
There is no way we are dunking the ball.
- Yeah, I was just so hot, in the moment,
that there was no thought.
- I was just on board
for the ride and then—
- You leaped out.
You turn around and do what to the coach?
- f*cking straight up.
"What's good?"
Like all of the fancy
kind of air that I carry about
is gone in this moment of just pure,
"f*ck you dog!"
- Wooooo!
- Wooooo!
Buh, bah!
Buh, buh, buh, bah!
Buh, buh, buh, buh!
- Wooooo!
- I'm like the same thing, like, "Yeah!"
- I'm trying to run up
and do that butt thing
that football players do.
- But you're in his knee.
- Every skeleton is straight up vaporized,
off the field.
Instantaneously, you hear the vaporize
of the other skeletons running away.
- Ya'll we need to m*rder these last two.
- Incredible, Daybreak does
one, two, three, four, five, six—
- Do I get an attack on him?
- Are we still in combat?
- You do get an attack on him.
He's gonna take an attack on you
on his way past you.
And he misses that attack on you.
So go ahead and take an attack now on him.
- Ooh, I only got a 14.
- 14 does not hit.
Rushes past you.
And takes, you see, he goes like,
"Nice play kid
"but we're going overtime."
And that's going to be Adaine's turn.
- I mean, I'm just gonna
take my full dash action.
One, two, three, four, five.
- If you dash can you still attack
or that's your whole turn?
- Is he 120 feet from me?
- Oh yeah, because he was striding.
- Oh, f*cking hell yeah.
- So I can do that.
- He's for sure within 120 yeah.
- Great, I will cast Ray of Sickness
on that mother f*ck.
- What type of save is that again?
- That is a Constitution Saving throw.
- And what's the DC on that?
- 15.
- Incredible, you are
looking at Ragh Barkrock.
He see he says "freak
like you goes-",
And right in between your faces
a pulsating beam of green energy
hits Daybreak right in the back,
in his kidneys.
And you just hear the most violent,
sh1tting of pants that's ever,
you hear like a, prrrrgh,
like a f*cking lawnmower starting.
Him fully evacuating his bowels.
His f*cking sweatpants drop a full foot.
He goes, "Arrrrrgh!"
Snot, weeping blood,
coming out of his eyes.
Fully hit by the Ray of Sickness.
- Great.
- Oh my god.
- So he's poisoned and he takes
six, 11 points of damage.
- 11 points of damage, awesome.
He's so f*cked up.
- Riz, that's you.
- Dope. I'm going to pick up the chest.
And then I'm going to run to the back
like by the scoreboard and stuff
and I'm gonna hide.
- Oh, you're gonna hide
behind the.
Dope, go ahead and give
me a stealth check.
I'll say with disadvantage
because you're trying
to hide a big object.
- Okay, cool.
- Not great.
Two plus three, 13.
And I'll use my Bardic Inspiration.
18.
- 18!
You stuff the chest behind something
as fast as you possibly can.
And that's a bonus
action on a turn, right?
- I was gonna say I can
just use a bonus action.
So I'm just hiding with the chest
with my g*n out, just sitting there.
Waiting for somebody to come out.
f*cking Macauley Culkin style.
- The poisoned Coach Daybreak goes,
"Oh God, oh God, it's time
to pull out the big g*ns."
Reaches into the pocket of his sweatpants,
pulls out a little palimpsest,
a crystal palimpsest.
And goes, "Hoot, growl,
hoot, growl, "Hoot, growl,"
shatters it on the ground
and you hear
and an owlbear appears on the field.
- I'm sorry, that's a literal owlbear?
- That's a literal owlbear.
The school mascot, in terrifying
three dimensional form.
- That's one of the craziest things
I've ever seen in my whole life.
- It looks like that thing
that really wants the acorn, in Ice Age.
- That's incredible.
- yeah.
- And this thing begins to charge Adaine.
- Oh sh*t!
- Whoa, they're probably fast.
- Tearing across the field towards you.
But that's just his movement.
He doesn't take an attack until next turn.
That's going to be Fig.
- Okay, if I cast Shatter are they both
in a 10 foot radius sphere?
Are these two gonna hit both of them?
- No, they are farther than 10 feet apart.
- Okay, then I'm just
going to one, two, three—
- Where are you going!
- You got it girl.
- Adaine's gonna die.
- Wait, are you low health life?
- I'm always low health.
I'm okay, I'm okay.
- Kristen Applebees is nearby.
- Hey, we'll get to you.
- I think we should get rid of the coach.
That's so funny to go like, bye!
And then I'm gonna say to Coach Daybreak,
"Oh, I can't get in your head?"
And then I'm gonna try and
cast Dissonant Whispers, again.
This time at a second level.
- I believe he has disadvantage now.
Because of being poisoned.
And again, that's a wisdom saver.
What's the DC?
- 16.
- Nice, 16.
Dope, full effect.
- Ha, ha, got into your head b*tch.
Okay that's gonna be two ones.
Okay that's gonna be nine.
Probably did less damage than they did.
Whatever, I'm in your head.
- How much damage is that, sorry?
- That is gonna be seven plus two, nine.
- Nine damage, great.
- And he also,
he has to use his reaction to move
as far as his speed allows him
away from me.
- Just his reaction though, correct?
Yeah, unfortunately he doesn't have
a reaction available to use.
- Okay and then I'm gonna look at Adaine
and give her a wink.
- That's so confusing right now.
- Well, that's gonna be Kristen.
- That's because I believe in you.
- Ah, great.
You're like this sexual 15 year old.
- I am going to—
- That was your first
kiss at Dwarven Doctor.
- He's hot.
- He's old.
- He's an adult man.
He's a man.
- Hot.
- In Elvish I say, "What should I do?"
- I say WWRMD, what would Ricky Martin do?
- I use my full action to dance.
- The whole person could be helpful,
either, I bet you was it Ragh?
- Ragh.
- Ragh, probably has very
low wisdom, I would think.
He's not a smart guy.
You could keep him in place,
which would be f*cking helpful.
- Yeah, 60, so how many
squares is 60 feet?
- 60 feet is,
definitely Ragh is within range.
- Oh cool, then I'm just gonna
move closer to Adaine.
- Yeah, that's great.
- Oh sorry.
- Yeah, hell yeah.
- Cool, and then cast
Whole Person on Ragh.
- He's gonna make a saving throw.
What's the DC on that?
- 16.
- You hold your hand aloft.
Power of the Heavens awaits.
Ragh turns up and goes,
"What are you, argh!"
And freezes in place.
- Sick.
- Hell yeah.
That's going to be Gorgug.
- Okay, he can't even defend himself?
- It doesn't look great.
- I'm just gonna scream and do
a Reckless Attack on him.
I just want an attack
with advantage, okay.
Good thing I did that.
One nat one and then eight, plus three,
plus seven, so 18.
- 18 damage?
- 18 hit.
- Certainly, you hit.
- Should I even roll?
- You have advantage on
every attack, he's paralyzed.
- Okay, great, great.
- So the first one does,
eight plus, 14 damage.
- Jesus Christ.
- The next one
is a Nat 20.
I finally got one.
- Ah, ah.
- You're gonna roll 3D 12 plus—
- Kiss.
- Savage attacks on critical
add additional damage?
- That means it's normally,
just 2D12 is a critical.
It's 3D12 because of savage attacks.
So go ahead and roll 3D12
plus your damage modifier.
- Savage.
- Wow.
- Oooh, oooh, oh wait.
- Yeah, that's okay.
- Oh yeah right, okay, so 18.
- That's a nine.
- 21, 26 plus six, is 32.
- Jesus Christ.
- Specify that we want to m*rder him,
not just knock him out.
- Roll another attack with advantage.
- And then add my frenzy.
That's gonna hit, 24 two.
- Yeah, go for it.
Go ahead and roll D12 plus damage.
A sixteen or an 18.
- As soon as he, Kristen I don't know
what you were assuming was gonna happen.
You raise your hand up to Ragh.
Him going like, "Rawr," he freezes.
- And I say, "Freeze,
I wanna talk to you."
- "Stop picking on me!"
- You f*cking whale, just ha, ha!
Bone and blood just shower all over you.
Ragh is fully f*cking dead on the ground.
- And I can move,
so I guess,
- Get Daybreak!
- I'm going to run,
I'm gonna go this way.
I'm flying.
- You're fully flying, yeah.
- So I can get to here.
- Oh my God, I hope you
guys fight in the air.
- This would normally be Ragh's turn
but he's f*cking dead.
- See ya.
- We're k*lling it this round.
- Fabian that's you.
You hear from far away.
Whooosh!
The Hangman skids into
place in front of you.
- Fantastic, can I immediately mount it in
and drive it straight at Coach Daybreak?
- You may absolutely do that.
- Incredible.
- "Let's Play!"
- Do you want to try to knock him prone?
- Hell yes.
- You may use one of your attacks
to make an opposed athletics check.
I'm gonna say with advantage
because you're mounted on a motorcycle.
- Okay fantastic.
- You'd have to beat a,
oof he did not roll well,
you have to beat a 15,
on athletic strength.
- And I have advantage?
- You have advantage.
- The flat 16 without it athletics, so.
- See if you crit.
- Let's see, do I crit?
I do not crit.
- Okay and you may use your other,
your extra attack this round as well
if you'd like.
- Knock his f*cking head off man.
- That's only 11.
- Do you get advantage though?
Because he would knock him prone
with the first attack, right?
- Yeah, he's prone so
you get an advantage.
- Oh fantastic, 16.
- 16 hits exactly.
- f*ck you man!
- You suck as a teacher.
- And then that'll be 11.
- Jesus Christ, Coach Daybreak
has just blasted sh*t all over
the inside of his sweatpants,
all his skeletons are dead.
Your incredible, gilded, demon motorcycle
flies out of the f*cking stadium.
You, whooa, go astride it,
run him over and stab him in the d*ck.
- Hell yes!
- Bam, he goes, "Argh,
God it didn't go right!"
It is now going to be Daybreak's turn.
He leaps up and is going to rush
one, two, three.
He's gonna take a bunch
of attacks at Fabian
but they're all disadvantage.
That's a miss.
Ooh, that's a hit.
That's a hit as well.
He deals Fabian first
11 points of damage
and then 13 points of damage.
So, hua, hua, slashing you with a spear.
"You got no heart kid.
"You'll never be an owlbear.
"hoot, growl, hoot, growl."
- I just rev the sh*t
out of my motorcycle.
- Adaine, that's you.
- Can I do a Cone of Damage upwards?
- No, because that'll hit—
- Because I don't wanna hit Gorgug.
But I have a 30 foot cone Burning Hands.
Can I put my hand underneath
the f*cking owlbear
and go whooosh?
- You can also sidestep if you want.
- Oh, okay, so can I sidestep to here
and I don't get an attack of opportunity?
- No attack of opportunity.
- In 5V, attacks of opportunity
are only when you leave.
- Oh, great, so I will do
Burning Hands as a third level spell,
- Dope.
which is 5D6.
And they have to make a
dexterity saving throw.
- Fails the dexterity saving throw.
You go full damage.
- 5D6
two,
eight,
13,
19, and then one more
20!
- Jesus!
- Dang Adaine has attack.
You light up this owlbear.
"Whooooooo!"
Screaming hellishly.
Riz that's you.
- Dope. I am going to leave the chest,
pop out enough to sh**t at Daybreak.
- Okay, cool,
you pop out over here
and take a shot at him.
Go for it.
- 11, 18.
- That's gonna hit.
- Sweet.
seven, five, 13 damage.
Plus I'll do Fury of the Small
so I can add my level to that damage.
- Damn, so another five.
- Fire, bam, blasts the coach in the back.
The owlbear—
- I'm gonna go back and hide.
- The owlbear turns and
is going to attack Adaine.
Ooh, that's not great.
- f*ck, should have saved some of my—
- Adaine takes 10 points of damage.
- Oh, okay.
- And then, that's from the beak.
The claw deals you
16 points of damage.
- 26, Jesus.
- Okay.
- How many do you have left?
- Nine.
- That is going to be Fig.
- Okay, I would like to cast
Suggestion on the coach.
And I would like to turn to him and say,
and phrase it as a suggestion,
"You should tell me the other names
"of the other teachers who are working
"to bring about the apocalypse
"with the Harvest Men."
- You cast the spell.
Hits that f*cking thick head and nothing.
- God dammit.
All right, I wink at Kristen Applebees.
You might need it there.
- Thanks.
- Kristen, speaking of which
it's your turn.
- That was weird, right?
That's f*cking weird.
Okay, can I do just a perception check
on the whole chest plan that
we're currently working with?
Just to see like, it's good
that we have it in the chest.
- Sure, go for it.
- Let's see, 16.
- Yeah, it seems like these skeletons
would have kept coming back.
And the main thing is that the chest
locked itself again.
So in other words, they don't have
a full team trying to get this thing
to the portal anymore.
- Cool, love it.
Cool, I'm gonna run as
close as I can to Adaine.
- Awesome, one, two, three.
Yeah, you can make it to Adaine.
- Cool and then can I do a Cure Wounds?
- Yeah, go for it.
- Can I only cast that once per
or it just takes a spell slot, right?
- No, it just takes a spell slot.
- And that's just my
second third level spell.
How many could you possibly be healed by?
- I wouldn't use a third level spell on me
because I can only get to 35.
- Okay, then I'm gonna use
a second level of that.
All right Adaine.
16!
- Great, thank you.
- And then I ah
I wink at you.
- It's just the weirdest
thing when you do it.
I don't know what it is.
- That's gonna be Gorgug.
- All right, I'm taking
a step at this owlbear.
- Take him into the sky.
- Yeah, is it flying?
Can we fight in the air?
- It doesn't look like
it can fly, actually.
- "Face me in the air!"
I come back down to the ground.
I'm just gonna take a
Reckless Attack on this guy.
- Go for it.
- And that's a 28 not.
- That hits.
- That hits believe it or not.
- Yeah.
- So I hit if for 11.
- Wham, roll again.
Roll another time.
- Okay, I hit, well that's a 24.
- Hits, go ahead and roll damage.
- That's 18, 18 damage on that one.
- Oh Jesus.
- I'm frenzied here.
- Go for it.
- That hits for sure.
- Go ahead and roll.
- Another 11.
- Another 11 damage?
- Oooh!
- You come up as this
thing turns to Adaine
after she's healed.
You raise your ax up
and after two blows
fully decapitate this beautiful creature.
"Arrrgh!"
- It's so beautiful.
I'm sorry!
- Kristen can you heal it?
- Yeah.
- Please, I can't k*ll an animal.
- Can you cast
Bardic Inspiration on it?
- Yeah, I cast Bardic
Inspiration just on the head.
- Fabian, that's you.
- And still the head is like,
"What should that mean?"
- It is possible to drag Coach
Daybreak with the motorcycle?
- All your attacks with
him are so spiteful.
- You have to make an
athletics grapple check
- Happily.
- To drag him.
So go ahead and roll.
No advantage this time.
So you're just rolling a flat athletics.
I'll tell you what the coach gets,
what you have to beat.
The coach got a 16.
You have to beat a 16.
- With athletics?
- With an athletics check
you have to beat a 16.
- Okay, great.
18 out flat without my athletics, 23.
- Go ahead and roll 2D6 for me.
- f*ck yes.
I've always wanted to
drag this m*therf*cker.
- Can I spit on him as
he passes, drags him by?
- Once again, this guy's
kind of a role model for me.
- Nine.
- You flip the Hangman around,
rush past him and his spear,
skewer the thick doughy back
of his sweatshirt and fully,
where do you want to go?
What direction?
- Towards Gorgug.
- Towards Gorgug?
- Do it in a way that I can
spit on him as he goes by.
- Can I do a, like a round thing?
- Oh full Toyko Drift?
- Hell yeah.
- Can I roll to see how
green and gross my spit is?
- Okay, it's a six a nine.
- Solidly gross.
- You hock a loogie into his eye
his head bouncing off of the pavement.
Dragged by your motorcycle.
- "I don't have any heart?
"You stupid m*therf*cker!"
- I'm starting to have a change
of heart about my friends.
- What if we decapitate Daybreak
and then swap the heads of
the owlbear and Daybreak.
- Let's do it!
- This is really,
actually freaking me out.
- Make another post athletics check.
- Got it.
- Okay, you have to beat a 24.
- Do you have Bless?
- No, I don't have Bless.
I do not beat the 24.
- He removes himself from the bike,
moves here and is gonna take his attacks
on Kristen Applebees.
- All right, never mind.
Wait, this is so terrible.
- He's such a bad guy.
He was trying to bring
about the apocalypse.
We can k*ll him with a motorcycle.
- We can drag him to death.
- Hey guys, let's not-
Everyone just dodge.
Yeah, let's just attach
him to my motorcycle.
- You take 14 and then 16
and then 15 points of damage.
- What!
- Oh my God!
- That's 45, that's insane.
I'm down to 10.
- Yeah, you see that Daybreak gets up.
Just, Whoah, whoah!
Looks at you and says,
"You befriended these heretics and liars?
"You have rejected the faith, Kristen!
"You could have brought about an end
"to this wicked world."
- Aw, f*ck.
This is really triggering for me.
- That's going to be Adaine.
- He's not responded to any of your
wisdom saving throw spells, right?
- I have one that I got on him.
So it's not like he's immune to it.
I think he has high wisdom,
so he rolls pretty well.
- Okay, well I guess I'll try casting
Tasha's Hideous Laughter on him.
- His thick dense skull
bats the spell away.
He's just frothing at the mouth with rage.
- Sorry, then I'm just
gonna move a little bit.
- Sure, sure, sure.
Riz, that's you baby.
- Okay, you know what?
I think the g*n is
technically a short bow.
So I think that's 80 feet.
How far is that?
- You can take a full movement towards it
and be within range.
- You could be around here.
- I can't leave the chest.
I don't want him to get the chest.
I am gonna go back into
Kevin McAllister mode.
But this time I would
like to kind of climb up
and take my rapier out.
And be ready to jump on somebody
who comes for the chest.
- Cool, you fully prepare your action.
- And I go like this, "Ahhhh!"
- And we're like, "What was that?"
- It was so cool, right?
Before that?
- Fig, that's you.
- All right, let's do this old school.
I'm just gonna come over here
and swing my f*cking bass at him.
- Go for it.
- f*ck him up!
Does 11 hit?
- It does not.
- Well the good news is, healing word.
I'll give you a healing word for—
- He moved a two?
- Yeah, it's not that much,
though, unfortunately.
- That's okay.
- And I only have a first level.
Oh, God it's so bad.
Nine!
- Thank you.
- Better than nothing.
Oh yeah, that was my bonus, nevermind.
- Kristen, that's gonna be you.
- I'm so hurt.
- Heal yourself.
You know, sometimes you
need some self care.
- Yeah, you know what?
Yeah, I'm gonna heal myself
with a second level cure wounds.
Which is a D8?
- Yeah.
- Second level would be two, yeah.
- Allright, f*ck you Daybreak.
Hell yeah, 23.
- That is now going to be Gorgug.
- I'm gonna look over
at this mess behind me
and fly around over here and say,
"Fight me in the sky!"
And begrudgingly kind of land.
I mean, let's face it,
I'm gonna Reckless Attack on this man.
- Go for it.
- Yeah, we got him surrounded.
- Oh yeah, 17 plus 24.
- That will hit.
- That hits for 15.
- Okay, roll again.
- Then,
I don't get advantage on that one.
Sorry, I forgot, it's just the first one.
So that would be, that's
22 or something like that.
- That's gonna hit, yeah.
- That is 13.
- 13 damage?
Cool, awesome, roll again.
- Frenzy.
- Jesus Christ.
- So that is only 14.
- 14 is a miss.
You wham, wham, slash into his back.
You see that his sweatshirt, in tatters,
falls off his body.
It's covered in blood.
Has these like old, gray chest hairs.
Surrounded on all sides.
Oh, you miss on that last one.
He's going to actually take a reaction.
What's your armor class?
- Armor class is 14.
- He hits you for 20 points of damage.
- Halved?
- Halved to 10.
- He's very strong.
- I'm at sixty one.
- He is flying.
Does that affect it?
- I guess I can try to
heal you if I'm around.
- He's at sixty one.
- I know I'm kidding.
- Fabian that is you.
- All right, can I attack him?
And then can my motorcycle
also attack him?
- Sure.
- Great, so I guess I'll attack
20 not nat.
- 20 hits.
- 19 not nat.
- Hits as well.
- 14 damage,
and then nine damage.
- You lunge forward on the Hangman
as he turns, momentarily, to see
the flying Gorgug behind him,
horribly injured by the ax.
As he turns around, he presents
one moment of weakness.
Which is all you need
for your rapier to flash forward
and blood gushes out of his slit throat.
He falls to his knees.
"No heart."
- "Funny thing about that.
"I might be taking yours."
And then for a second,
I consider actually removing a man's heart
from his chest.
And I'm, "That's something
my father would do.
"It's a little too much."
- I say, "Hey Fabian, what's going on?
"You're kind of slowly,
"you're mouthing some stuff to yourself?"
- Sorry, I was thinking about actually—
- As you guys check in with
each other emotionally,
Coach Daybreak falls
to the ground and dies.
- Can I remove his whistle?
- Yes, you may remove his whistle.
- I want to run over to Ragh
and put my boot on his throat.
So that whenever he comes to,
I can interrogate him.
- Okay, you go put your
boot on his throat, cool.
- Just be ready for that.
- Does anyone else take
an action right now?
- Yeah, I will join—
- Bring the chest.
- I'm gonna bring the chest
and I'm gonna join Fig there.
And I'm gonna call for
everybody else to come around.
- Would I be able to use his weapon?
- His weapon?
Possibly, I'll also point out again
that when I say dies, I mean he drops.
So Coach Daybreak and Ragh
are both dropped right now.
- Okay.
- For sure k*ll Daybreak.
But we should talk to this guy.
- Let's k*ll Daybreak.
I've got Whisper of Terrors,
that I've been meaning to use.
I don't know if we'll do
it this session or next.
But I've got Whisper of
Terrors and I'd like to—
- Let's tie him up.
Because also, we just k*lled the coach.
We already k*lled two teachers.
- I was gonna say, you could also
take Daybreak's outfit
and I could impersonate him.
But his pants are full of sh*t.
- There's a little sh*t and
his clothes are all cut up.
- Can I make a perception check?
- Go make a perception check.
- Yeah, I would like to do that too.
- Can you guys for sure
k*ll this god monster?
He's not a good guy.
- I think we k*lled him.
- 16.
- Whooo, he got a Nat 20.
- I got a Nat 20.
- A Nat 20 on a what?
- Perception check.
- You look over and see that
as you guys are discussing what to do,
you see that Ragh, the
paralysis ends on him
and he's fully dead.
- Oh, Ragh is fully dead?
- I just rolled three failures in a row
for those death saves.
I've been keeping track.
He's been dead for a couple rounds.
So I've been rolling on his turn.
- Can we Revivify him?
- You do have a Revivify.
- I do, yeah.
- Do we want to?
- You have a third little spell slot left.
- Oh no, oh yeah I do.
I have one third level spell slot left.
- He's a student.
He's a piece of sh*t but
I don't wanna k*ll him.
- I mean if we bring him
back to life, my thought is,
I have this Whisper of Terrors thing,
where I can basically make him
super paranoid for an hour.
- Can you guys k*ll Coach Daybreak?
Anybody over there just k*ll him?
- He's dead right?
- He's rolling death saving throws.
- Riz walks over and shoots
Daybreak in the head.
- Bam, yeah, he's fully Coup de gras.
- A demon who wanted to
cause the apocalypse.
We can save the kid.
- He still gave me detention, all right?
- I keep sh**ting him.
- Can I do a perception
check on this chest?
- Sure, go for it.
- Oh wow, it's hard to
add up all those numbers
but that's gonna be a four.
- This, man-
- No.
it's possible that this is an illusion.
And that this is some—
- I put my hand through it.
- You hurt your hand as you jab it,
kind of too hard, with your fingers.
- Is my detect magic still working?
- Yes, it is.
- Okay what the f*ck is going on?
- The chest has some runic element on it
that was probably a one time thing
that they were able to open.
They must have used some kind of scroll
or special use effect to
open the chest to begin with.
You see that it has powerful
conjuration runes all over it,
which have to do with teleportation
and opening portals to other worlds.
Correspondence magic, basically.
- Can we rub off all those runes?
- They're deeply carved into the metal
and wood of the chest.
- We gotta make a decision about Ragh.
Because Revivify only works
a minute after they're dead.
- I'm gonna say that you have 20 seconds
to make a call before—
- I think we should save him.
He's a student.
- Yeah, save him.
He's a kid, it's the shitty coach.
- I tied him up.
I tied him up.
- I Revivify.
- I'm tying him up with amp cords.
- Yeah, we're around him.
- Kristen, you run over.
You guys are all—
- Can I say just put
him in a headlock too?
- Sure, so as you Revivify
you get fully underneath him
but on his back.
- Rear naked choke style.
- You guys fully move around.
You see that Ragh.
- You lost, man.
- Yeah, guess what b*tch?
You're our b*tch now.
- I'm gonna use my Whisper of Terrors.
Which means that I'll
seed paranoia in him.
The Harvest Men sold you out.
- "What?"
- Yeah, Coach Daybreak, he sold you out.
He wanted us to k*ll you.
- "Coach Daybreak would never sell me out.
"I'm number one.
"Coach Daybreak is number one."
- Why did he give Fabian his whistle?
- He said you had no heart.
- "That's not true, owlbear
through and through.
"Hoot growl, go owlbear."
- He had me take your
letter man jacket away.
- Can someone go get the owlbear's head?
- We don't even know for a fact
that he wasn't under some spell.
We're just bullying
this recently dead boy.
- He's been bullying us the whole time.
- He's been really f*cking with me.
He's been really f*cking with me.
- He gave me the nickname The Ball
and threw me in the trash,
but he's dead.
- I have to tell you for your own good.
And this is Whispered Terrors sh*t
you have to transfer to Mumple School.
- Now how does this ability work?
What are you doing to this guy?
What's happening?
- If you speak to a
humanoid for one minute
you can seed paranoia.
And at the end they make
a wisdom saving throw.
And if they fail they're
frightened for one hour.
- Okay, so he goes, "No,
don't send me to Mumple.
"Don't send me to Mumple."
- You're ruined here.
You have to go to Mumple
and try and start over.
- "No way, no way.
"Owlbear forever.
"Oh I feel sick."
- Everybody here is
calling you sh*t pants.
- "Why, why?"
- You sh*t Coach's pants.
- Hold up Coach's pants.
- "I'm wearing my pants.
"I'm wearing my pants."
- You sh*t in his pants.
We switched the pants.
- We hooked you up man.
- We f*cking switched their pants dude!
- Here's the deal man, here's the deal.
During the game you passed out
and you sh*t yourself.
But we're owlbears to the core too.
- Hoot, growl, hoot, growl.
- So we switched you
out of your sweatpants.
- Out of a favor for you.
But if you cross us, we will tell everyone
that you sh*t your pants.
- Little baby sh*t pants.
- Okay, go ahead and make
whatever rolls you people.
- Our roll is that the official roll
is that we wanna, if he doesn't,
if he doesn't join us we're gonna
tell everyone he sh*t his pants.
- Okay the effects of this roll.
That's gonna be an intimidate check.
You guys can also choose to,
as a group just to give aid
and give advantage to somebody else.
- I have 8 intimidation.
- So go ahead and roll with advantage.
- Nat 20.
- No way!
- You're going to Mumple's bro!
- "Whatever you want.
"I'll do whatever you want.
"You can't tell people
that I sh*t my pants.
"You can't tell people
that I sh*t my pants."
- For the rest of our
tenure at this school
you will defend us with your body
to anyone who tries to
say anything bad about us,
smear our names,
even so much as cheat off of us on a test.
You will destroy them.
- Yeah, you think that we're really cool.
And you're gonna vote
for Fabian for prom king.
- Fabian and Fig.
Prom king and queen.
- Oh yeah, Fabian and Fig.
Yeah sure, I'll take it.
- Also, what happened here?
- What was the coach having you do man?
- That's all our time for
this week on Fantasy High.
Tune in next week to
see the continuing saga
of our heroes choking out
this jock on the field,
making him promise to protect them.
- It just feels so good.
- We freaking got you dude.
- Coach is the f*cking boss.
But after this sh*t happened
with that corn in the cafeteria,
he looked shook.
- You're not a bad guy Ragh.
- Yeah, you're a good guy.
- Ragh, we're glad we
brought you back to life.
- There's something in your head
of like, a clue or something you missed
that just tickles the back of your mind.
- This is where I've been
finding some answers!
- You get that out of our house right now!
The time's coming up and
it's worse than you think.
You wake up in bed.
- Oh God.
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01x10 - Battle of the Bloodrush Brethren
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.