- Everything else has frozen in time.
Aelwyn has just pocketed the Palimpsest
with Ostentatia Wallace inside it.
- There is a matter of great consequence
happening upon the roof of this building.
- You clamber to the
roof to see your fallen.
- I go into a rage.
- Adaine, you fully just lose it.
You're casting Tasha's Hideous Laughter
spell.
Won't work on me in a
million f*cking.
- Oops b*tch.
- Welcome back to Fantasy High.
My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan.
These are our intrepid heroes.
Say hi, intrepid heroes.
- Hi intrepid heroes.
- I love it more each time.
Guys, last we left off,
you guys were on the roof of
Ostentatia Wallace's house,
where you still are.
Aelywn Abernant is laughing hysterically
and you guys are surrounded
by Hudol students
that are stopping here and flying
and spells are going off.
Percival Nevelsvine stops and says
my goodness what an
absolutely smashing use of
Tasha's Hideous Laughter.
It looked from what I could see
obviously time and its movement had been
somewhat subjected to
a transmutation effect
that you have rather a terrible conflict.
The combat seemed quite gregarious.
- f*ck' nerd.
- Should we push him off the roof?
- Yeah.
- There's no need for that.
We already trashed these mens' houses.
- I think, first of all,
we need to make sure
that Aelwyn cannot do anymore magic.
- Ha, ha, ha!
- So, I would like to roll up—
- I have a hold person.
- a sock and shove it into her mouth.
- Cool, we can do that too.
- And then tie up her hands in such a way
that her fingers are also numb.
- Yeah.
- Let Fabian tie her up.
- And she's—
- Isn't she wearing like a
- Let me
tie her up.
- crop top or something?
- So, she is.
She has that sort of
shirt tied in midriff.
- I'm gonna create a minor illusion
to make it look like she
has a little fat fold.
To try and make her
feel bad about herself.
- I'm knocked out on the
ground right now I think.
- Oh sh*t, I'll run over and heal you.
- Oh my goodness, everybody get Riz.
- What were we doin' this for?
- What do I have left?
- Riz, in the process of making
some death saving throws—
- Nine.
- Gets nine hit
points from a healing word.
- Nice.
- Ooh.
- Oh, and then another 11.
Why not?
- Another 11?
- For 20.
- I have 20, great.
- You guys see all the
Hudol kids start going like
well as per usual a Hudol house party
has ended in elemental
chaos and destruction.
- Yes it has.
- Do these cheerleaders
come to your parties a lot
and cause trouble?
- The young women at our school
hold their own parties that are obfuscated
from divination and they don't invite us.
So, we pay Aelwyn Abernant
to come and create
these elemental cheerleaders
so that the party
is not a sausage festival.
- Will you—
- Festival.
- say that again,
but to my parents?
- What's that?
- Will you tell that to my parents?
- Oh can I take out a crystal
and record what he's saying?
- Yes, please do.
- I take out a crystal and
I say, just say it again.
- As I've just previously stated,
myself and my friends are repugnant
to those of the fairer sex in our school.
- No, no, no.
Not insulting yourself,
talk about her sister having parties.
- Ah, very well.
In order for our parties to
not be such a sausage festival,
we have paid Aelwyn Abernant to come here,
sell us drugs and liquor
and create elemental cheerleaders
that we might kiss upon the mouth
and downswift a—
- Isn't that a thing that
is against school rules?
The kind of thing that might
get you kicked out of school?
- Well to that I would simply say,
gone!
The Hudol students start disappearing.
- This could have been your life Adaine.
- Adaine—
- Wait.
Do we have the crystal that that girl had?
- Yeah, can we search
Adaine's pocket for—
- It's in Adaine's pocket.
It's in Abernant's pocket.
- Oh, I would like to
thaumaturgy myself into some
sort of demonic goddess,
look Aelwyn in the eye
and use my Whispers of Terror on her
to intimidate her.
- Uh, go ahead and give
me that Intimidate roll.
- Do I get, do I get,
'cause it's Whispers of Terror,
do I get like advantage or anything?
I don't even need it.
I don't think at least.
- I would like to thaumaturgy
and be behind her with Matching Eyes.
- I got a 24.
- Ah, you got a 24?
- Yeah.
- Ah, you see, Aelwyn
looks up at you terrified.
She's been restrained,
she's been fully defeated.
She looks up at her sister,
who's hit her with this
spell, looks terrified.
- I take one of my nails
that's been filed to look
like those vampire nails,
'cause I did that in the time we had,
I brush her hair out of her eye,
and I say, where do you
and your b*tches party?
- They party here.
- Shh, shh, shh.
- Thought they had a different party?
- That's a different party.
- Um, you see, Aelwyn goes ooh, ooh.
- Oh that's right, the sock.
We have to take the sock out of her mouth.
- Pull the sock out.
- She's gonna cast a spell.
- I party here,
I get paid to come here
as the young student said.
This is where I go.
- So, you don't even go to the fun party?
What a waste.
- You guys hear a noise
of a car pulling up into the driveway
with magical spider webs
hanging from the windows,
smashed windows, things are on fire,
have been electrocuted
and otherwise destroyed.
And you here a voice say,
oh, God dang, my house!
And you see there is an unemployed,
dwarven dad sort of jacket going,
oh God, I couldn't afford
the insurance this month,
oh no!
- Can I use my mending cantrip
to mend everything that I can.
- You're like putting
some shingles one by one
back on the exploded—
- Can I just do minor illusion
to make it look like it's
better than it is?
- I'm so sorry sir
and I think that you might want
to call the police because
I have very bad news.
Your daughter is unfortunately
trapped in this crystal.
And this girl did it.
- You see he says,
oh, thanks I guess.
Oh God, Ostentatia, my sweetheart.
First that dang poison
tea, I can't keep her safe.
I think I should probably
just put her in Mumple.
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Don't do that, she's nice.
- She's so promising.
- This is not on you,
this is on the world within you inhabit.
- Oh, as he takes the
crystal out of his pocket,
dials a number,
and within a moment or two,
you guys hear sirens approaching.
- sh*t, do we wanna be here?
- Let's ask Aelwyn—
- Yes Aelwyn why were you putting-
- Why are you putting
girls in the diamonds?
- I'm still intimidating
her, Whispers of Terror.
I'm whispering in her ear.
- You see she says,
this was my first try.
- Where did you get the idea to do it?
- Can I do an Insight Check?
- Is it Penelope Everpetal?
- Sure.
- Phew, I can't get lower than an eight,
'cause of my thing.
So, I got like a 10.
- Oh, I got a 24.
- Great.
- Insight.
- Um, you see your sister
looks at you and says,
I think you all well know
where I get the idea from.
- Was it Johnny Spells?
- No, was it Penelope Everpetal?
- Coach Daybreak.
- Penelope Everpetal?
- You really have no idea.
- Oh my goodness.
- Was it my dad?
- Or do we have
- the father?
- all of the ideas we need?
- Your dad?
- And we're just waiting for you—
- The Harvestmen?
- to come clean?
So that we don't kick your f*cking a*s.
- If you're going to
k*ll me, just k*ll me.
- We're not going to k*ll you.
- I'm not going to k*ll you.
- We're just going to
make you go to Mumple,
which is much worse.
- Yeah.
- You can't make me go to Mumple.
- I don't see why not.
- Oh!
- You'd fit in perfectly.
- Oh my goodness.
You'd learn to be an innkeeper
or a shopkeeper or a—
- Can I say, hey, don't
you and your jacket
have that Mumple school
uniform in her size?
- Oh, I do!
I have exactly that, yes!
- No, no, no, no, no!
I won't go!
Listen, look, I can't tell you.
Adaine, go to my room back at the house,
I literally can't tell you.
You, with your Insight Check,
see a look of genuine
fear in her eyes and—
- Has something cast something on you?
- The cops pull up,
and you see that your mom gets out
with a couple other police.
- Cool.
Hey mom.
- God dammit honey!
- Sorry.
- What's going on?
- Okay, so this girl,
she put another girl,
the Ostentatia in a Palimpsest.
We were tryin' to stop her
and here we are, we did.
- Well good job.
Please stop taking the
law into your own hands.
- Yes ma'am.
- She comes up, she escorts
you guys down off the roof.
They get a ladder up there
to help you guys get down.
You're sort of in the front.
- I climb down the chimney.
- I flip off of my own accord.
- I jump into the pool.
- Yeah, I use to
go down into the stairs.
- The ladder's for that!
- I take the ladder, I
just go thank you ma'am.
- All right, see she goes, okay,
she looks over at Aelwyn,
a car pulls up, Angwyn
and Arianwen step out.
- Hello mother, hello father.
- You see that she—
- Such warmth.
- Here I am at.
- Here I am at.
- Yeah.
- You see that Angwyn, your
father, steps up and says,
I'm so very sorry, there's
been a misunderstanding.
Myself and my children are
covered by diplomatic immunity.
Please release my daughter at once.
- Oh!
- This is so f*cked up.
- Yes, but she's gonna get
in trouble though isn't she?
She put a girl in a Palimpsest.
- What, what kind of trouble?
- She came to a party.
I'm not allowed, she's not
allowed to go to parties.
She said she was going to study.
- Well, there's no way of knowing
that she wasn't here to study Adaine.
- She wasn't.
- Is there any proof of that?
- All of my friends—
- We have the elf.
- Oh yes.
- I play the, I play the thing
of the little kid talking.
- Well I don't know that little human.
- Check her room when you get home.
- He goes to Hudol.
Um, hey, can I pull Adaine aside.
Hey, should we steal your parents' car
and go back to your house
before they get there?
Because they're definitely gonna
clean up after your sister.
- I mean why don't we
just get on the bike?
I mean the three of us
could sit on the bike
and then—
- Yeah, go. You get in
a backpack and then—
- You guys go, I have one last
way to gather a little intel.
- Detective Gukgak is
speaking to Angwyn who says,
excuse me, madam, if you would care to—
You see that she looks
and says, we've met sir.
I was in your home earlier tonight.
- I'm so bright red with
embarassment and anger.
- He looks and says,
release my daughter from
these handcuffs at once.
You see that your mom
gets a look in her eye.
That this goblin look,
like her pupils look slit a little bit,
and she says, well sir,
your diplomatic immunity
obviously comes from your
position as a diplomat,
and extends to your family.
However, diplomatic
immunity can be revoked
if any member of that diplomat's family
feels unsafe in the
presence of said individual.
- I feel unsafe.
- Oh, well, we gotta
take her in for custody.
Thank you young madam.
You see that she grabs Aelwyn,
like jumps up to grab
the back of her head,
and like puts it into the cruiser
and throws her in the
back, slams the door.
you see that your father turns and says,
what have you done?
A member of this family
in a goblin's jail cell?
- She tried to m*rder me.
- And be that as it,
you let her go at once,
unapprehend that young woman.
You see that your mom turns
and looks at him and says,
your eminency, with all do respect,
suck my d*ck, f*ck you,
if you have any problems,
you can come downtown
or I can ask your daughter
if you make her fell unsafe.
- Nice.
I'm so glad.
- That was so cool.
- Strong mom, just a strong mom.
- So, will they have to go down
and tidy it up?
- Can I come stay
with you guys.
- You see that she gets in the cruiser,
looks to you and says, home!
- Yes ma'am.
- She takes off in the cruiser.
- And they're going back to the—
- They're going downtown with her?
- Downtown?
- The Abernant's look
like they're standing here
and discussing things for a moment.
- I'm talking about where is um—
- We gotta go to your house.
- Let's go right now!
- I'm talking about Aelwyn is going to be
in downtown in the prison.
- Yep.
- Okay.
- As she's loaded into the cruiser,
right before the door closes,
she looks over at you and goes,
- Oh.
- Fabian, Fabian, we need to go.
- Fabian.
- On my motorbike, let's go.
- That's not okay.
- What's not okay?
- Are we all getting onto the bikes?
- We can't all get on the motorbike.
- No you can't.
- Well, then, I'll take—
- It's okay.
- I'll stay.
- I think I should go down,
I wanna go, I would like to do something
at the police office.
- Like—
- Right, well I'll take Adaine
and Riz,
- Okay.
- The Ball, and—
- Do you wanna go—
we can go.
- go to the police station.
- Yeah.
- Go to the police office.
- Those who go to the Abernant home,
you arrive there,
ostensibly a minute or two
before your parents are gonna head home.
What do you guys do when you arrive there?
- Go straight to Aelwyn's room.
- Yes.
- You go to Aelwyn's room.
Go ahead and anyone who's here
make an Investigate Check.
- This is what I'm supposed to do.
- It's time.
Private eye Fabian.
- Got a nat 20.
- 24.
- I got nat 20.
- 11.
- Nice.
- Nat 20 and a 24.
- 12.
- Riz, you discover
tons and tons of drugs,
money hidden under the bed,
there's handcuffs, you see
there's a couple of loaded g*ns.
- Oh God!
- Whoa!
You carry one.
- Okay.
- Can I take those handcuffs.
- You absolutely may take those
- I don't even know you anymore, man.
- I hide from Fabian.
It's weird, nothing sexual found here.
- You guys, what you find is in the books.
You find inside of Aelwyn's spell books,
the spell you saw before, Modify Memory.
You see another spell, Conjure Elemental.
You see another spell,
that it looks like Aelwyn
has researched and crafted
herself with your notes
on the margins of it.
Things that she's copied
from your divination books.
- Uh huh.
- The spell has a very disturbing name.
It is called, Detect Maiden.
- Ew.
- Detect Maiden?
So she can tell people are virgins?
Ew.
- It's not so bad to be a virgin.
- No, I know, but why do you wanna know?
- It's only to detect them.
- No one who's detecting
maiden's, is a maiden.
- You're not here.
- By the way.
Oh, you're right.
I shut the f*ck up.
- I had a crazy dream where my babysitter,
who is missing,
said that she was, her
time was running up.
So I think this is all bad.
- All right, well I mean, is
there anything else to collect?
I mean otherwise we can—
- Yeah, what else?
- Riz, you also find
that little runic thing
around the ship in the closet,
that Adaine found earlier.
The Harpy.
- Yeah.
- Do you know anything about
these little runes or anything?
- I don't, can I cast Detect Magic on it?
I don't think, oh, can
I cast identify on it?
- Ah, yes.
An effigy used in the casting
of long-range evocation spells.
This storm summoning signal,
uses a carving of the object
meant to be ensorcelled.
That has been made to look as though
it is the larger object.
The wood used in this
rendering of the Harpy
was taken from the actual Harpy itself.
Making the spell almost
impossible to avoid.
Notice the runes around the outside
of the Invocation spell,
also include element of Illusion Magic
to hide the spell from powerful diviners
such as prophets and oracles.
- Ha!
Oracles.
How, is there a timing on it?
Does it say when the spell
is gonna hit the Harpy?
- It appears it already has.
The date in question,
September 1st of last year.
This has been another use
of the Identify spell.
- I mean—
- But the ship that went
down wasn't the Harpy,
it was the Cerulean.
Unless, there was some
sort of trickery involved.
Which I guess is also,
a lot of stuff is happening is trickery.
- Yes it is.
- Ah.
- Do you know anything about the Harpy?
- Do I have any ship knowledge?
- You know who does.
- All right, well, my father would.
- Well, I mean, lets get back on the bike
before my parents—
- Fantastic.
We'll head to my house and
I'll text the rest of the group
that that's where we're headed.
- Roll to see if something
good or bad happens, okay.
- Can we take pictures
or anything of this?
- You can snag it all
on your phone, no sweat.
- Great.
- Great.
- You guys walk out the front door
to your two parents
coming up the garden path.
- I'm gonna hide.
Let's go out the back.
You got a back door?
- You see your father says,
it's a very brilliant
move at that house Adaine.
A diplomat's child cannot
be taken into custody.
It is insult to the nation of Fallinel.
There will be consequences for this.
Drastic consequences.
Your foolishness, taking
Aelwyn, she is your sister.
- You have treated me like
a second class citizen
in this house for as long as I remember.
She has been treated like
some sort of golden child
and she is no better than me
and in fact, is in many ways, worse.
She's putting children in crystals.
She has a spell called Detect Maiden.
That's creepy.
- I understand that sisters are jealous.
But, maybe if you applied yourself
to your studies a little more.
- I cast Invisibility on myself.
- Poof.
Your father looks around.
Well, she's teleported away, that's fine.
And he walks up the garden path.
But you're—
- Goodbye.
- Your mother stays.
I don't know if you're still here,
your father was never very good
at recognizing spells.
He's not a very talented practical caster.
I believe you, and I'm very sorry.
You see a little tear
forms in your mom's eye
and she walks into the house.
- All right, with that we should be off.
- There is a baby—?
- Oh, by the way,
I'm still here, so—
- Okay, good.
- Okay, good.
- Your mom just stared,
instead of saying it to us—
- Check it.
- To like relay it, she just—
- It's not like she could just run up—
- stared off into the abyss.
- in like 10 seconds.
So, let's go.
- We, I was like we were the only ones—
- Yeah.
- who were there for that—
- I was—
- I was like—
- At first I was like
is she talking to me,
is she talking to Fabian?
- Exactly.
- She's talking to, okay, great, cool.
- Cool.
- Let's go.
- All right, yes.
Away.
- You guys head out.
The other three,
you're still at the crime
scene Kristen, right?
- I went with them to the—
- Yeah.
- You three went to the precinct.
- All at the precinct.
- Cool, you guys arrive at the precinct.
- I disguise—
- What are we doing?
- myself as Penelope Everpetal.
- Cool.
- I cast Disguise self
as Penelope Everpetal
and I want to talk to, to
try to talk to, Aelwyn.
- Aelwyn.
Um, cool.
Do you walk into the precinct
looking like Penelope?
- No, I walk in looking like Fig.
Well, I'm looking, like
if she's gonna be there,
if I see her I'm gonna go back and then
come back in as Penelope.
But, I might just wait
till right before I go in
to meet with her.
- You take a look and you don't see
an obvious cell where
Aelwyn is being kept.
You could try to make an
Investigate Check to find her,
but, that would involve you
going into the precinct.
- Okay, I'll just become
Penelope Everpetal.
I'm Penelope Everpetal.
- But, isn't she missing?
Aren't people gonna freak out?
- I thought—
- Penelope's not missing.
Penelope's in P?
- Yeah, she came—
- I can't—
- Penelope was at her house earlier today.
- Gotcha, nevermind.
- Yeah.
- So I go in.
- You walk in as Penelope.
- Hi, I like heard that- I
heard that Aelwyn was here?
Can I speak with Aelwyn?
- See there's a sort of
thick-necked half-orc guy,
in kind of a highway cop getup,
looks at you and says,
uh, oh, Aelwyn Abernant?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, she's not accepting
visitors right now.
- She would be if she knew it was me.
- Can I get insight check
on this guy to see—
- Sure.
- Oh oh!
- Is he my dad?
- Uh, you look at this dude,
half-orc, right age, every possibility
that this guy could be your dad.
It would be so simple for
this guy to be your dad.
And you see that he looks over
at him, looks over at you,
he has like a weird
familiarity in his eyes.
He goes, Gorgug?
- Oh my God.
- Yeah, I'm Gorgug.
- Oh my God!
- Who are you?
- You're that freaky kid
who steals backpacks.
- I don't, I think there's
been some wires got crossed.
- Get a nat 20 and then got dunked on.
- I don't steal backpacks.
Its sort of this, my
friend was being funny
threw a backpack, I caught it, so.
- You don't think this
guy's your dad, bummer.
But you do notice that he
seems generally just like
as antagonistic and kind of,
not into helping as
these guys generally are.
- I think you're gonna
wanna talk to Aelwyn
and if you need I could bring
Mr. Everpetal down here.
- Go ahead and make an Intimidate Check.
- It's gonna be another 24.
- 24.
- Yeah.
- See he goes—
- Tap my fingers honest.
- Ah, rich girl, all right.
You see that he gets up,
says come on with me.
- Okay.
- He leads you into this room
where you see that Aelwyn
is all done up in chains.
She's sitting on a bench
in a little jail cell.
It's like a general holding thing.
You see the cop walks you back
and then just sort of stands there.
- Like, what happened?
- She looks up at you.
Make a Deception Check.
- I have advantage right,
because I'm an actor?
- You do.
- I have the actor feat.
Well that's gonna be a 29 or a—
- How do you roll so well?
- God.
- or a 26.
I have plus 11 to deception.
- What?
Jesus.
Yeah, wow.
- That's crazy.
- I had an advantage on it.
- You see she looks up at you and says
my little sister and
her friends caught me.
- Did you get her?
Where is she?
Where is the crystal.
- She looks at the cop
standing right next to you,
and says, the evidence locker I imagine.
- They caught you?
- Yes.
- He is not gonna be happy.
- I know.
- What are you gonna tell him?
- I don't imagine I'll be saying
much of anything to anyone.
- Do you want me to go to talk to him?
- Yes, I think you should.
- Okay.
Do you know w- ?
sh*t, um, my crystal's actually dead.
Do you know where he lives?
My crystal f*cking died.
Because I've been running around all night
trying to find you.
- I don't, my crystal's not,
I don't have anything on me anymore.
- But I'm saying, where is he tonight.
- You know that I don't know.
- How did he get in touch with you?
- You got in touch with me.
- Cool, I need to use the bathroom.
- Oh see, then the cop says,
uh, okay, sure.
And lets you go use the women's restroom.
- Okay.
I climb out the window
of the women's restroom.
And I
knock on the front door
to tell him.
- What?
- To come out.
- Why are you outside?
- Fig?
Let's go.
- You're knocking on the front
door of the police station.
- We run out.
What happened?
- Penelope Everpetal—
Let's keep going.
- Okay, we start walking.
Penelope Everpetal put her up to it.
- Okay.
- Penelope?
- Yeah.
- Okay, so let's go get her?
- Yeah, let's go rendezvous—
- Let's like go with this—
- with the other people
and just consolidate intel.
- Hey, what do we call
our group by the way?
- The Dad's.
- The Dad's?
- I don't think that fits at all.
- The daddy-less daughter.
- Daddy issues.
- Anyways, let's all meet back up.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They texted—
- So I think we probably
texted you guys.
- Yeah.
- So that we're going to a—
- So we all
made it to Seacaster's?
- You guys meet Seacaster Manor.
- Guys.
- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.
- About the thing that
you saw. With the runes?
- Mm-hmm.
- Do you think that's the thing
actually casting the spell
on whatever the ship is?
What would happen if you broke that?
- The Harpy?
- Oh!
- But, it already happened.
- I think it already happened.
Is it invisible?
- The spell was cast—
September the 1st.
- On September 1st
of last year.
- But isn't it—
- But, why would it—
- keeping something hidden?
- still be going?
- No, I mean as far as the
Identify spell explained it—
- Yeah.
- It kept anyone from knowing
that the spell was being cast.
Or that it had been cast.
- Can I do Insight to check on that?
- Uh, yeah, you can make an Insight Check.
Actually it would be a Perception Check.
- Can you do—
Detect Good and Evil on it?
- 11.
- You look at it, it seems
like a piece of arcane magic
that is not a really either good or evil.
It seems like it was a
powerful storm evocation
that sunk a ship.
- So it doesn't feel like
it's still continuing?
- No, it looks like it was—
- No.
- A—
- Why would she hang on to it?
- Right?
- Can I call for my papa?
- You get to Seacaster Manor,
you see that your father's
in the drawing room
with this banker guy again.
You see this guy, Mr. Hughes in there.
They each have like a glass of brandy.
Your father looks at you and says,
aye, young Fabian, my boy, my darling boy.
- Oh, good to see you.
- You and your young friends,
you seem to have some battle scars on ya'.
- Yes papa, another one
well fought.
- Ha, ha, ha, ha.
That's what I like to hear.
Young reedy Mr. Hughes here
would know nothing of battle would you?
See the banker goes,
uh, no, I would not.
- Well, it is fine Mr. Hughes,
everyone has their lot in life.
Papa, do you know of a ship known as—
- Oh, wait, hold on.
- No, maybe we could —
- Can we talk over here?
- Yeah.
- Do you mind if we talk
over here for a second?
- I'm gonna chat with Mr. Hughes.
- Cool.
- Wait.
- Just to get a vibe from him.
You guys can go.
I don't have anything
in particular to say.
- You know we probably shouldn't—
- Mention all this stuff
in front of the bank guy.
- I was just going to ask about the Harpy.
- I just fell like, are we out of—
- Sure, you are out of your earshot, yeah.
- I don't know what that guy's deal is.
Because remember there's weird
stuff going on with the bank.
- Yeah, the bank might be like
the epicenter of all this.
- But we don't know which bank he's from.
- Maybe we just don't have a
converstion in front of him.
- Yeah.
- Uh, well, young lady,
I represent KVX Bank.
We're based out of Bastion City.
- Is that the bank that
doesn't have free lollipops?
- We have a policy about
not handing out sweets or pens to people.
- Okay, cool.
You work out of like an office?
- I work out of a skyscraper.
The financial headquarters
down in Bastion City.
- I'm bored!
- Wow.
- All right, what are we gonna do tonight?
- Bill Seacaster looks
over at you and says,
young lady, why are you bored?
- Oh, no, I was just kidding.
- He says, don't you know
that me and this fella here
are in the same line of work?
Ha, ha, ha.
- No way!
- Oh that we are!
We're both thieves.
- I thought you were a privateer sir.
- What?
- A privateer.
- A privateer?
Who said I was a privateer?
Who put those words—
I, young lady, am a pirate
through and through.
- Oh.
- Papa, sometimes in mixed company,
I'll describe your chosen
profession as a privateer.
You might come off as more
of a gentleman, you know.
- More of a gentleman?
- But it's just random.
In mixed company it's just I'm not,
sometimes the word pirate
can be construed as a,
you know, something negative.
- Fabian made out with a hot girl tonight.
- I did.
- Tried to help, sorry, I tried to help.
- So did I, but, she wasn't real.
- I'm going to table
how proud I am of you for making out
for a moment.
- Sorry I tried.
- Are you ashamed of me boy?
- I could never be ashamed of you, papa.
- Why not say what I am?
- I mean—
- Does this man shame you?
He draws his rapier
and holds
it to the banker's throat
who just stops.
Does this man shame you?
Would it bring shame to any of you
to have this man as your father?
Let me tell you somethin',
what this man is, I am.
But, more honest.
You ever take someone's home
away from 'em Mr. Hughes?
So he goes, we occasionally
foreclose on a property.
Aye, I've robbed many
things in this world,
but never someone's dwelling place.
I, am the courageous version, of this man.
And every man like him.
- I mean I certainly think that
you are better than my dad.
- My dad too.
- I have two dads and they're
both great.
- You see, he looks at you
and says,
you and I were raised very differently
and I'm realizing that now.
There's no shame in bein' who ya' are.
I'm a pirate lad and I'm
sorry that that gave you pause
and felt like something
you had to conceal.
Then he sheaths the sword.
- I'd like to just adjourn
to my room for a second.
- I am so sorry I got you in trouble.
- Does Mr. Hughes have
a briefcase or anything?
- He does.
Bill Seacaster goes to walk away.
Mr. Hughes says, I better be—
and Bill Seacaster kicks
him right in the head,
kicks him out of his chair,
gets on a rope and swings
sadly off into a crow's nest.
- Aw.
- I'm going to be going to be going.
I've been kicked in the head by a pirate.
- Can I make an insight check on him?
- Sure.
- Yeah, I would like to do that too.
- All right I got—
- I'm just memorizing what
he's wearing.
- I'd like to pretend to be like
helping him get up and stuff,
but try to swipe anything I can out of—
- Give me a Stealth Check—
- Ooh!
- and a Slight of Hand.
- I'll will also, I'll
just play some music
to try and distract him.
What's your favorite song Mr. Hughes?
- Not now.
- Stealth, 19.
Slight of Hand, so good, 21.
- What do you wanna grab for?
This guy's wallet, business card?
- Let me grab for his,
just somethin' quick.
- Pfft!
You grab a card out of his
- Okay.
- Out of his coat.
Fabian, do you head off to your room?
- Mm-hmm.
- You guys see Fabian walks
off into Seacaster Manor.
- So we should probably leave, right?
'Cause we're just in someone's house
and they're just—
- We should go to Fabian's room.
- No, we should go to Fabian's room then.
- We should talk to Fabian.
- You think that Fabian wants this?
- To get information.
- Let's just try to cheer him up.
- Let's just go to Fabian's room.
- All right, all right.
- I'd like to go up to Fabian's room.
- The card you get says
Alston Hughes, KVX Bank.
You see that the KVX is this
little slanted red logo KVX Bank.
There's his crystal number on,
address of the office
down in Bastion City.
The department that he is a part of
is special investments.
- Can I do an Arcana Check on the logo?
- Give me an Arcana Check on the logo.
- You like that that's a sassy move.
- Seven, right, but 14.
- 14.
- KVX, like roman numerals like V,
what is VX, 15?
- Well, but, no.
- VX is five and then 10, but—
- The K is
- Not how you would do it.
- What is K?
- Doesn't it minus if
it's on the left side?
- Yeah.
- No, but if you, I mean,
10 minus five is just five.
So, it would just be five.
So, it's not roman numerals.
- Right.
- You guys head over to Fabian's room.
You guys haven't been to Fabian's room.
Fabian what's your room
look like?
- It's like very cool, there's
not like a ton going on.
Like the floor is clean as hell,
the bed is absolutely massive,
and then just a massive picture
of my father over my bed.
And then a bunch of like
heirlooms and different trophies
that he'd won or that I
especially liked all over.
And have hung up.
I think I'm just on my
side of my bed looking away
out the window very, very sad.
- Hey Fabian.
- I'm so sorry I got you in trouble.
- It's fine.
- Fabian.
- Also, like you made out with—
- Have some Gnomish whiskey.
- What?
- Have some Gnomish whiskey.
- Fine.
Oh God!
Oh that's disgusting, oh my God!
- I stole it from the hospital.
- Do you have any of the Elvish wine left?
- Yeah, find the Elvish wine, yeah.
- I think I would like—
- I have a flask to each.
- To have a drink.
- I'll try some alcohol.
- Should we all—
- Here's some Gnomish—
whiskey
- just get drunk right now?
- Is that the mood?
- I am not gonna get drunk.
- Why do you have, can I try something?
- This tastes crazy.
- Fine Elvish wine, Dwarven
vodka and Gnomish whiskey.
- I'll have some of the Elvish wine.
- When we do like wine
and bread at church,
they always use grape juice.
I've never had actually wine before.
- Go to town girl.
- You see that Cathilda,
the halfling maid walks in
with a bunch of shot glasses.
All right children well hello there.
Would you like something to drink?
- How did you know?
- I guess I'll do a shot.
- Yeah.
- Have a wee bit of
tequila here if you'd like
and I certainly could cut some limes.
- You have a tray of tequila?
- Little tray of tequila
for the master's son.
- Please, Cathilda, could
you make my favorite snack?
- Of course I can.
- You see that she thanks
a little tin, unwinds it,
a little thing of kippers
right in front of you.
- Thank you.
- And any snacks for the rest of you?
- I've only seen this on movies.
Keep 'em comin'!
- Yeah, am I allowed to—
- I'll take some snacks.
- smoke in here?
- Of course.
- Okay, cool.
- I'm good on snacks.
I think I'm not gonna eat.
Crazy that we were at a party
and we're just now partying.
- Yeah.
- Hey Cathilda?
- Yes.
- I wink and give her a
little Bard of Inspiration.
- Thank you very much
lass, I appreciate that.
- Cathilda, would you leave us?
- I'll do it right now.
So I turn—
- Thank you so much Cathilda.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- All right and you're welcome
children. She walks away.
- I'd like to lock the door.
- I don't wanna be this guy
while we're having a party,
but, Fabian, why do you
think your dad's talking
to this bank guy?
- Yeah.
- I don't know.
My father's in all sorts of business.
He's stupid wealthy.
I know none of you have wealthy parents.
- I have wealthy parents.
- You have wealthy parents.
You know what it's like.
Our parents are involved
in all number of things
that I have no idea about.
- It's terrible.
- Special investments
is what that guy said.
- Should we?
- Go to Bastion City?
Road trip.
- Now we can just maybe,
borrow Bill Seacaster's—
- I mean why don't we,
why don't we,
- cell phone and
text this number?
- Or we can maybe look up what
special investments means?
- Yeah, can we see if
we can go to this room?
- I think I'm still kinda hurt.
- I am so hurt as well.
- I am too.
- Yeah we're pretty f*cked up.
- And I don't have any spells left.
- Should we, do you have
like a dope computer?
- Of course.
I've got multiple dope comp—
What do you want?
I have literally have like
anything I've ever wanted.
- A whole wall lights up.
Avast!
Hello Fabian!
- Good to see you computer.
My friend was hoping to use you.
- Oh, wow!
- Hi.
- Hardy, har, har, har.
Lower the main sail!
- Ahoy.
- Please don't talk to
my computer like that.
- I'm so sorry.
Sorry I've never spoken to
a computer like this before.
Can you do a Fantasy Google check
on KVX Investments, KVX
Bank Special Investments?
- Oh my God.
- You go to KVX's home page.
A large a private bank.
- Do they have like a mission statement
on their website or something?
- Oh, yeah.
Let's get into the depths,
let's get into the about.
- You go to the about section.
Who ever thought a game,
that we'd ever get to looking at the
about section of a bank's website.
- Is there a FAQ's on this website?
- Can we hack into the actual?
- Is there a profile of this
specific banker that was here?
Like his—
- Oh, yeah.
- picture and all that.
- Alston Hughes.
- You find Alston Hughes.
It has a little thing for him.
Says Head of Special Investments,
helping the bank make specific
individual investments
to further the dynamic mission
statement of this bank.
- Is there a Reddit equivalent?
- Oh yeah.
- Where people get to
post conspiracy theories?
- Hold on, computer pause.
What exactly are we looking for?
I mean I'm unclear as to the information
that we are hoping to acquire.
- Well—
- Well, we know,
here's what we know.
We know Penelope Everpetal
is involved somehow.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- We know that she is
the reason that Aelwyn
did what she did tonight.
We also know that bank is shady as hell.
- Yeah.
- But we have one maybe thing
and one very clear thing.
- Do we know what Penelope
Everpetal's parents do?
I don't know anything about them.
- I don't know, but when I went in there—
- Except that she wants to be—
- She always hangs out with Dayne, right?
- Computer, please Fantasy
Google search Everpetal.
- Dead men tell no tales.
You see there's a little
social media profile.
Penelope Everpetal,
she's got a little filter
that has a crown on her head
and she's kissing Dayne,
and there's another thing of
her on a trip to Highcourt.
A thing of her on trip to Fallinel,
a trip to Calibramore.
All just sort of making
the same face in each one.
- She takes a lot of vacations.
- There's another one of her,
a young one with her and
Sam Nightingale on it.
- Hm, she's,
- But—
that's one of the missing—
- Who are,
who are her, we knew that Sam Nightingale.
- Go ahead and give me
an Investigate Check.
- K.
- We wanna find out who
her parents are.
And why she's rich.
- 27.
- 27.
You dip into these, you go
not through her tagged photos,
but you find a way,
going through like a mutual
friend and dipping through,
to get to one of her photo albums,
which says old photos that
she's untagged herself from.
There's some old sort of
best friend forever photos
of her and Penny Luckstone.
Her and Katia Cleaver.
Her and Danielle Barkstock.
Her and Antiope Jones.
Her and Sam Nightingale.
Her and Ostentatia Wallace.
You see one posted earlier today
of her and Zelda Donovan.
- Ha!
Zelda!
- Zelda!
- Wait, what?
- Your girlfriend.
- Your girl.
- Actually we're not dating,
but—
- Yeah, he does not have a girlfriend.
- Yeah, I mean it was more—
- He has more of a girlfriend
than you do Fabian.
- Okay, I kiss more.
- All of these girls
and then there's a picture of Zelda.
- Yeah, Zelda's next.
Oh, we should—
- Do you know where Zelda lives?
Since she's your girlfriend.
- Did you ever get a number.
- She's not my girlfriend.
- Did you get a number
from your girlfriend?
- I didn't get a girlfriend.
I didn't—
- You didn't get a girlfriend.
- I didn't get her number.
- Okay, so we think that
Penelope's a bad guy, right?
- Oh, she's definitely a bad guy.
- We know that she's a bad guy.
But, what do we know that's
going on in the world.
I took notes about what
we had in the past.
So,
- Let's see.
- We had, you had the stuff
that you told us about
Kalvaxis was the main bad guy
in The Red Waste and he owned the,
he was like in charge,
he was using as pawns
the Nightmare King and the Necronomicon.
And then there was like a big showdown
and then Alexandria defeated
him and disbanded the monarchy.
- So what does that have to do—
- 'Cause we know that Coach Daybreak—
- Kalvaxis—
- Wait, what is Kalvaxis?
- He was the bad guy.
- Was the demon guy.
- Was a like the demon
guy who liked the Night—
- Kalvaxis?
- Kalvaxis was—
- Oh!
KVX!
- Oh!
- Okay, so—
- Like the bank?
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- It's got vodka.
- It's Kalvaxis' bank.
- Riz, there's something
I need to tell you.
- Oh, what's up?
- I know something about your dad.
- Yeah, he worked for
the State Department?
He was like a, had like
a disease and he died.
- No, he died on the ship that sank.
He was in the Secret Service
and he died in the ship that sank.
- Your dad died on September 1st?
- No, your dad died five years ago.
- So he died in a
- He died in a—
- different ship that sank?
- Why are people dying so much?
- My dad died in a ship that sank?
- Wait a second.
Sinking ships throughout history
has been used to start wars.
- No, wait.
- You're right. Who are they
trying to start a w*r with?
- Coach Daybreak was probably trying
to start a w*r when he did the
Perditional Contradoxy thing.
Because that's technically—
- Right.
Breaking down barriers
between the two worlds,
the two—
- What two worlds?
- Countries.
- Spyre and Highcourt
because Highcourt is—
- Well Spyre is everywhere—
- the religious country right?
It's, it's, um, um, Kuriyaki?
It's run by the church.
- Yeah.
- Maybe we don't
have all the answers.
- I don't think that we do.
- I don't think that we do,
but I feel like we're closer.
- For KVX, yeah, I think
that's the biggest thing.
- Is Kalvaxis, I mean,
he's some kind of demon.
That means that he's immortal, right?
- Can you ask your dad—
- Can we k*ll a demon?
- about Kalvaxis?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Can I text my dad.
- Sure.
- Can I text Gorthalax?
Can I FaceTime him actually?
- FaceTime doesn't go
through, but you can text him.
- I have an idea too.
Maybe Gorgug, you could
try to find Zelda's—
- Can I use your computer?
- Online profile.
- We do have to—
- And start texting with her.
And see if—
- Yeah.
Can you text Zelda?
- Be suave.
Just like normal.
- Can you guys kinda help me out?
- Ask her to meet you.
- Okay.
- Tonight.
- Tonight?
We should, all right, mind
if we use your computer?
- Your crystal won't do?
- Ow!
- Oh, you're right, I
can pull out my crystal.
- Let him use your computer man.
- No, no.
- Let him use your computer.
- Nobody gets to just use my computer
because you have a texting device.
- There's a bunch of porn on there.
- No, there's not much porn on there.
- There's a bunch of porn on there.
- There's not a bunch of porn on there.
- I don't wanna look at your porn.
- I search porn.
- Yo, h*, h*.
Accessing p*rn*graphy.
- Stop!
Stop, porn.
- Ah, ah, yee hah, yee hah.
- What!
Walk away! Do not look at this.
Do not!
- Oh, shiver me timbers.
- Stop!
This is my father's stuff.
- Privateer me a new one, wow!
- Wow!
- No, there's no need
for puns, all right.
- You guys, this is a wild night for me.
- Your dad is looking at
porn on your computer?
- That's weirder.
- Well, it's a central hub.
Or something.
- I will try to find Zelda on my crystal.
- Yeah, get in touch with Zelda.
- After that.
- You find Zelda on your crystal,
there's the little add friend button.
Her profile photo is a black and white,
filtered and blurry ink
rendering of just an eye
and a piece of her hair coming down.
- She's really artistic.
- So cool.
- Gorgug, do not.
- Such a cool picture.
- You have to.
Don't let Fabian talk you out of it.
- All right.
- Don't take dating advice from Fabian.
- Uh,
- Okay, I added her.
- Okay, and then send a message too?
Just like—
- Yeah.
I think just chat her.
You need to chat her.
- I have to wait for her to
accept my friend request, right?
- You see that the request is confirmed.
And then you are immediately unfriended.
- Huh!
Ah.
- And then a friend
request comes in for you.
And that friend request
is deleted.
- What?
- And the friend request
comes back.
- Huh?
- And then deleted.
And then the friend request comes back.
And deleted.
- Can I do an Insight Check
if she's just having a panic attack
or if someone else is controlling it?
It's not gonna be the best.
- I'll do the
same.
- It's gonna be a 10, no sorry 11.
- I got 18.
- 18.
She's freaking out.
- Oh!
Cute!
- Oh.
- Just send her a message.
- Saying I don't want to freak you out.
- Okay, hey.
What?
- Tell her—
- That's it.
- Should I say anything?
- Tell her you just got a tattoo.
- I didn't get a, do I have
to go get a tattoo now?
- Don't listen to Fig-
- We need to be more—
- Just put hey.
- Don't listen to Fig.
- What's up?
- Do you wanna go see some art?
Ask her to go and see some art.
- I don't know, I bet—
- It's nighttime though.
- I can't believe I just found out
my dad sank in a ship
and we're helping him flirt right now.
- That is—
- Take some notes about
the ship, all right.
- That's really fair.
I will play your favorite sad song.
- I say what's up uh
how's your semester going?
- What?
- That's so bad.
- Why?
- Tell her you gotta
talk to her.
- She's actively in danger right now.
So, I say that you need to meet up.
- You need to meet up.
- Okay.
- Don't say you need to meet up.
- But—
- That's thirsty. Don't say
you need to meet meet her.
- I need to meet up.
- Say you'd like to meet up.
- This isn't a date.
- He already did it.
- Tell her the tattoo got infected.
- She doesn't even know I have a tattoo.
- Why do you keep saying that?
- I don't have a tattoo.
- What does the message say to her?
- I say, hey, what's up?
- We want—
- And then Fig adds—
- How is your semester?
- my tattoo got infected.
To whatever this is.
- Hey what's up, how your
semester, we need to meet up.
- We would like.
- We would like to meet up.
- We?
- We?
- No, that's weird.
- You do you.
- Okay.
Hey, how's your semester,
I think you might be in trouble a little.
- No.
No, no, no.
- Keep that low.
- Be casual, be casual.
- You get a response back that says,
not much, you?
Asterisks good not, not much.
Asterisks, not, not much.
I didn't need to type not much.
I meant to say good.
My semester's going good.
- What does that mean?
- Just tell her you need
to meet up right now.
- Her semester is going good.
- She says I'm in trouble LOL?
Like how do you... LOL... what?
- Oh my gosh, she thinks that
you are being flirty with her.
- Oh.
- Say, let's meet up tonight.
I know this sounds
crazy, but where are you?
- What if we just went to get ice cream?
- Just say that you wanna—
- Invite her to Basrar's.
- Hey, do you wanna get ice cream tonight?
I know that's wild.
- LOL.
- All right, The Ball
- "I know that's wild".
- This needs to be a thing between them.
Sorry, I'm emotionally distraught.
- Yes.
- There's a long pause,
like about a two minute pause.
- Sorry buddy.
- Maybe she's like—
- Maybe they got her.
- Oh, no.
Don't say that.
- All because you couldn't nut up
and tell her that you got a tattoo.
- You get a message back from her saying
so sorry I dropped my phone in the toilet,
I'm on my computer now.
- What?
- Okay.
- She says LOL forget
about the toilet thing
that didn't happen
something else happened.
I took a pause in the converstion
for a different reason.
Not the toilet.
Forget about the toilet thing I said.
- You cannot date this person.
- You absolutely have to—
- She is—
- date this person.
- Who else is he gonna date?
- Wow.
- Invite her to ice cream, she's—
- She's really nice.
- Say you're gonna
pick her up and go to ice cream.
And then you two hop on the bike
and you pick her up on the bike.
- She says on my way to
Basrar's right now LOL.
- Oh!
- Hope that you like banana sundaes
because I also like them
and then that would be a
thing we had in common.
- That would be a good for
me too. And I like them.
- Are good for you too?
- And that would be a
good thing for me too
to eat a banana split.
- Well that's fantastic.
- I guess I like them too.
- I guess? Commit, man!
- I got it.
- All right, all right, cool.
- Okay.
- Let's go to ice cream shoppe.
How are the ships five years apart?
Why was my dad on the one ship—
- Did your dad die on September
1st is what I'm asking.
- No, he died five years ago.
- But, I'm sayin' was it five
years ago on September 1st?
- Well, I'm—
- Did my dad die on
September 1st five years ago?
- He actually died on that first Saturday
after September 1st if you remember.
He died a couple days later
in September five years ago.
- But maybe it's a week day thing.
It's like a first Sunday
in September type thing or
a lunar calendar.
- Is like a prophetic time for—
- Let's talk on the way.
- Can I add—
Yeah, let's look on the
way. How do you like it?
- Can I text Gorthalax and say
hey pops what do you know about—
- Maybe have him join us at ice cream.
- Kalvaxis?
- Kalvaxis.
- Oh, I could say, hey pops,
first off we're goin' to Basrar's.
I know you got that sweet tooth.
If not, what do you know about Kalvaxis?
- Cool.
You guys head off to Basrar's.
You don't get an immediate
response from your dad.
You guys wanna do anything
before leave Seacaster manor?
- Can I do a better job
of hiding my p*rn*graphy?
- Can we, can I do—
- While he's hiding his p*rn*graphy,
I kinda wanna whisper to these guys.
Hey guys isn't there something
with how doing something
through that gate might not
bring about the apocalypse?
We might bring back the
monarchy or something?
- Yeah, maybe.
- That's what I'm thinking.
- Monarchy, like a captain working with—
- You know who wanted
a monarchy is Penelope.
- I—
- Yeah, that's—
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Prom king and queen?
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
- Jesus Christ that's nuts.
- You think she wants to be like eternal
prom king and queen.
- Like eternal prom
king and queen?
- Eternal prom king and queen.
- They wanted, her and Zayn
wanna be king and queen
of the entire land.
- There's no way that they
could ever reach that level of—
- Wait is someone trying to bring the—
- A prom king?
- What do Zayn's parents do?
- We don't know anything.
- How does Fountain of
Inspiration do work,
because I'd like to heal us all
while we're—
- Yes.
- I'm worried about—
- You guys head off.
You can do your short rest up if you want.
- Yeah, that's a good idea.
- You guys go to Basrar's.
- I will do it.
- It's a
5D6s.
- 10.
- But I'm supposed to heal an extra D6.
- Oh right.
- Actually I'm just gonna give back full.
- What about spell?
- What about spells?
- Spells, spells are not.
It's like getting late and it's like
about 11 o'clock at night.
You guys go into Basrar's.
Soda fountain's all set up,
it's lovely here.
Pretty empty it's getting late at night.
In a little booth
that's just one of those booths
that's like small in
the middle of the thing,
you see Zelda is seated.
She's got a little green hoodie
that has a little black silhouette
of like a fairy silven creature on it.
Her hair is kinda hanging
down in front of her face.
You see that she's got little earbuds in
and is sitting.
You see that she has a
little rose in her hand.
A little flower.
- Let's—
- Maybe Gorgug—
- I put on like a jacket I'd be carrying.
- Gorgug, can we just pop
in with Gorgug really quick.
Make sure you ask how she
knows Penny, how that goes bad.
Maybe try to find out if anyone's
done anything weird to her lately.
- Yeah.
- You got this, but—
- She's not your dad.
- Sure.
- Don't get sidetracked.
- You're a good guy.
You're a good catch, okay?
- Yes you are.
- Okay, thank you, okay.
- Can I use like a little Minor Illusion
to like gel his hair in a nice way.
- Your hair kinda popped back immediately.
Falls back in front of your face.
- It looks great, it looks really great.
- You look intentionally great.
- It looks fine.
- I gotta do it.
I gotta go.
- You go sit down.
Are you guys making anything to hide?
- I'm just being like
a couple booths over.
- No, we gotta hide,
he'll feel embarrassed.
- We'll be on the other side.
- We'll just be on the other side.
- You want us to wait outside?
Do you guys just wanna
wait in the parking lot?
- I'm gonna get a root beer float.
- I'm gonna get a sundae.
I mean, hello!
- Who would like to, as we're doing this,
look up, check on the lunar calendars
of when the first and second ships sank
to see if there's any sort
of significance there?
- Cool.
As you look it up.
Going back through your notes.
You realize that what Sklonda was saying
was not that Riz's dad
had died in a shipwreck.
You're only going back
over what you've written.
As it all happened very quickly.
- Right, yeah.
- But that he had died on a mission
and you realize that her
wording makes it unclear
if the mission was on the ship
as though he was physically on the ship
or if his mission was on
the topic of the ship.
So, you just assumed because
you'd seen that little ship
in your sister's room.
But suddenly you realize,
it might be even more
complicated than that.
- Yeah, Riz, I might have made a mistake.
It might not have been that it's,
he was on the ship,
he maybe he was investigating the ship.
- Interesting, I wonder
if I should talk to my mom
and see if she'll—
- I mean it's weird that
she hasn't told you already.
So, maybe—
- I am 14.
But, now that I'm a renegade detective—
- That's true.
- Maybe she'll tell me.
- You see that Gorgug goes
and stands over there.
Zelda looks immediately terrified.
You see that she's
noticed your friends here.
And she's just like,
wincing ahead of time.
She looks up and goes,
your friends here like
as a prank or something?
- No, no, oh they're just, they're like,
they heard that I was getting ice cream
wanted ice cream too.
So they're just, it's
good to see you.
- Oh, cool, yeah, my
friends they all peaced out.
They didn't want, they were all like,
we all live in different
homes, we have to go.
- Right.
- We have to go home.
- All my friends live
in different homes too.
- I message him.
Tell her she looks nice.
You-
- You look nice.
- Are you bored?
- No, no.
- What did you say?
- I said you look nice.
- Go ahead and make a Persuasion roll?
- I wink at him.
- Wink at him, cool,
with Bardic Inspiration.
- My last Bardic.
- This is actually just a Charisma check.
Charisma check.
- Gorgug's charismatic, right?
- Wait, do I get
- You get technical—
- You get a D6.
- Phew.
Phew.
Flat five.
- Flat five!
- What?
- You see, she looks at you and goes,
oh, could—
- I'm sorry, I'm nervous.
- It's cool, I'm nervous too.
Your friends are like popular and loud.
- Yeah they're really loud.
- Ha, ha, ha!
- I take out a violin bow and
start playing my bass now.
- Sometimes I feel like they're
just so loud all the time
and I would just love
for them to be quiet.
- Yeah, I get that.
My family's super loud too.
Um, I'm like the least loud one.
- That's me too.
I like to be quiet.
Did you want some ice cream?
Should we get some ice cream?
- Yeah!
Basrar comes over.
Ah, hello!
To the young couple, congratulations.
- Is this some sort of anniversary?
I notice you have a flower.
- Oh, yeah.
- You see Zelda looks and she goes,
I actually just, was, I—
and just eats the whole
rose, thorns and all.
- Oh.
- The Ball, did you see that?
Did the girl just eat the flower?
- Yeah, sometimes people eat flowers.
- Okay.
- I'm part goat so a
can't eat super anything.
- Yeah.
Uh, do you want more flowers?
- No.
- To eat?
- No, but if you want, do you want some?
- Could we get a sundae
with some flowers on it?
- I can only do ice cream is the thing.
So I can do like a flower flavor?
- Okay.
- But I can't do - very
specific wishes, okay?
So—
- I get it.
- Okay.
- What I, yeah, whatever,
uh, this flower flavor sounds good to you?
- Flower is okay.
Do you wish to use your
wish for ice cream later
or is someone going to pay.
- Zelda says, I can, I'll pay.
- I got it, I got it.
I can, I'll pay.
It was my idea, so.
- Okay, okay.
- Yeah.
- You pay for the ice cream.
It comes out to be one gold piece.
You see that—
you see that Zelda looks over at you.
Yeah, my family, all worship
the god of wine and ecstasy,
- Oh.
- And I'm training to
be a battle dancer and
- Battle dancer?
- Yeah, sort of my ancestors
would go wild in the hills and forests
and they would drink wine
and they would experience a deep ecstasy
and they would rend men limb
from limbs with they're hands.
- So cool.
- Really?
Some people think it
makes you like a freak.
- Oh, I don't think so, I think it's cool.
- Rad.
- Um, yeah.
- That's why
if I was weird when you
flipped out on Ragh,
It was just that I got super,
when you flipped out,
it's like that's hot.
- Oh!
- Um, 'cause I also,
- What?
- No, it's stupid.
- It doesn't, um, uh, cool.
I mean awesome.
That's awesome.
- Yeah, whatever.
- That's really awesome.
- I just, like, I um, I flip like-
- You flip out?
- Yeah, I have to, I have
to practice with Porter.
- Oh, yeah.
- Because I can't be in the
regular Barbarian classes
because I flip out too hard
for the other
- Barbarians?
- Yeah, 'cause it's like a divine thing
where it's like powered by
the god of wine and ecstasy—
- No way.
- and so it gets really disturbing.
I have to—
- I bet it's awesome.
Hey, this feels like
annoying thing to ask,
but, do you know Penelope?
- Not super well.
She asked me to hang
out earlier today, but,
- She's been doin' weird stuff.
Weird, me and my friends were
just like kind of noticing.
- Yeah, I didn't super get it.
She actually asked me about you
and like if we had hooked up at all or,
I don't know, she thought, it's weird.
- Huh.
- It's weird.
- That's so weird.
- I haven't hooked up with anybody, so.
- Oh, yeah.
I know what your thinking,
but yeah, me either.
This leather jacket and stuff.
- I'm like asking Fig
to spike my milkshake
so I'm on one right now.
- Yeah, yeah.
Drink up girl.
- But is she weird?
She's not cool?
- I think she's like maybe,
I don't want to freak you out,
but I think she's like a psycho,
- Weird.
- k*ller person.
Like she might be doin' some crazy stuff
like putting people in stuff.
- I'll super, she just asked
with me to hang out tomorrow
but I'll super not.
- Wait, what?
Yeah, maybe you shouldn't.
But, also, where did she say
that she wanted to hang out?
- At school.
- Okay, cool.
What kinda music do you like?
- Um, I like a lot of different stuff.
Like I like screamo, I
like emo, I like punk
and like some pop punk.
I like metal, rage metal,
I like death metal.
I like scream metal.
I like mad metal, like hate metal.
I like mad metal, crazy metal.
I like smash metal, smash
metal some of it's good,
I like the older stuff.
I like slice metal is good,
I like chop metal is good.
- I throw something at Gorgug.
- Ow, ow!
- How 'bout you, what kind
of stuff are you into?
- Same stuff.
- You guys watch the rest of
this very cute ice cream date
between Gorgug and Zelda.
- Can I sneak out and see
if there's anybody outside
like keeps following Zelda?
- Gimme a Perception roll.
- Cool.
- Five.
- Coast is clear.
- Everything's all good.
- Have I heard back from Gorthalax?
- You have not heard back from Gorthalax.
- Can I do—
- That's really weird.
- a Ritual Detect Magic on Zelda
just to see if there's anything weird—
- Weird?
- Weird going on there?
- Nothing that seems to be weird.
She has a little bit of a trace
of divine magic around her,
but that's about it.
- That's pretty normal
for somebody who's a—
- Um, what should we do?
Like someone at all times follow her?
Keep tabs on her to and from school?
- Yeah, I think tomorrow,
we just need to shadow her.
- Waves at you, she comes up and says,
all right, well it's
going late and my parents,
obviously they get mad at
me if I get home too early
'cause they're like, live
life, rip your clothes off,
k*ll, feel the rush of blood
and feel the hot, warmth of
what it means to truly live.
And I'm like,
- Wow.
- Dad shut up, shut up.
- Cool.
My parents are gnomes.
- What?
- Yeah.
- I'm drunk now.
You should go home together!
- I gotta, I gotta go,
- Oh, okay.
- Bye, it was super nice to—
- Yeah.
- Uh.
- I'll see you
at school tomorrow.
- Yeah, I'll see you at school.
- I'm probably not going
to school tomorrow.
- Awesome.
- Awesome.
- All right, she runs away.
- Should he follow her?
- I think we should
be, yeah, I think that,
- Follow her?
- Here's my thought.
- I just got out
of that so smoothly.
I have to follow her now?
- Okay, well, how 'bout you
show up with Gorgug on the back?
Give her a ride home
and than you and your elvish ways
can stand guard at her house.
- Well, Ball, is really good at hiding.
- He needs to sleep.
I need to sleep 'cause I have
no higher level spells left.
- Yeah, but didn't you say
that Penelope was planning on—
- She's saying she just
wanted to meet her tomorrow.
- I mean feel like its, when school
or tomorrow morning early,
we need to be on guard.
- Most of this ends with—
- Yeah.
- These people not showing up to school.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- I think we gotta, this is just
one night we gotta sacrifice.
Who feels most comfortable
staking out the place?
- I can probably just sleep outside.
- I mean, I only got Gilear to go home to
and he won't notice if I'm not there.
- Oh, I'm sure my mom
would be super pissed.
She told me to go home like six hours ago.
- She did.
- Yeah, I need to get eight
hours or else I'm very cranky.
- I need to get eight hours.
But, I mean we could do shifts.
- I feel like I could go.
But I don't—
- Why don't we do a quick
lap on the motorcycle
and make sure she gets home okay.
- Wait, everyone you don't get to dictate
what happens on my motorcycle.
- Just a quick lap on Fabian's motorcycle.
- All right, who's gonna stay
- Me and Fabe's.
- staking out her house all night?
'Cause I can offer.
- I can too.
- I'm down to be up all night.
- If you do that, we won't
have any healing spells.
- I think you're really drunk.
- Yeah.
- I'm—
- You should go home.
- You for sure need to sleep the most.
- You know, fine!
Me—
- If you guys could only feel
what I'm feeling right now.
- You know what, fine, me and The Ball,
will go and case the joint.
- The Hangmen says, master,
I neither sleep nor rest.
- Ooh, perfect.
- I can keep my watchful
gaze upon the girl.
- Okay.
- All right, fine.
My motorcycle will go watch for the girl
and make sure that everything's all right.
- You can go home and watch porn.
- Good night.
- The Hangman begins to
roar down the street.
You see that Zelda has her
arms up on her backpack,
and has her headphones in,
turns around, sees this flaming motorcycle
coming down the street.
Turns and goes,
ah, runs screaming as the motorcycle
chases her down the street.
- Ha, ha, ha.
- no.
- Shoulda been more specific with that.
- Yeah f*ck.
- Hangman, not in the moment,
just keep an eye out on the house.
- Oh, the house, very well master.
I will destroy the house.
- No!
- I will protect
- Make sure the girl doesn't
- Get kidnapped.
- the house.
- Yes, just keep watch.
- I'll shall keep eternal
vigil on the house
until every rock has been reduced to dust.
- All right, thank you Hangman.
- Can I give him a little treat?
I wanna give him like a—
- Do not give treats to
my motorcycle, all right.
- You guys head home,
- Can I stay at somebody's house?
- Yeah, come sleep over with us.
- Can I sleep over at your
house too? I hate my parents.
- Yeah.
- Everybody lives at the
crappy apartments now.
- Oh, yeah.
- So four of you
\o back to the Thistlesprings.
- Vending machine party again.
I'm just eating a
million chips sh*t-faced.
- Hey, Fabian, if you
wanna sleep over, I got a—
- No, just, do any of you
have a king plus size bed?
No?
All right, fantastic, I'm going home.
- You go back to Seacaster Manor.
- Can I talk to my father
before I go to bed?
- Yeah, you go up to the crow's nest.
You see he's up there.
- The crow's nest.
- Can I give you, I'll give
you the model of the Harpy.
- Oh.
- I don't think it's a diplomatic mission.
- Well, well, well.
Bing, da, ding.
Playin' me shanties up
her in the crow's nest.
How goes it, Fabian Aramaris Seacaster?
- It goes well father.
I want you to know that I am
your son through and through.
Only last week,
I literally thought about
cutting a man's heart
out of his chest.
- Don't try to patronize me
with things you know I love.
- I was going to do it.
He was constantly making fun
of me for having no heart
and then I literally felt
about taking his heart
out of his chest and showing it to him
because then I would have heart
and be, it's not worth it.
Uh, father, you're a pirate and, I'm not.
But, I am your son.
And that means more to me than anything.
- What's that you have there in your hand?
- Oh, it's a ship it's called the Harpy.
Are you familiar?
- Aye, I know the Harpy well.
Cursed ship that.
- What?
- Some centuries old.
That was the flagship
of the navy of Kalvaxis,
Emperor of the Red Waste.
- Oh, you don't say.
Um, fantastic, but it's gone, right?
Wait, hold on.
Did you say it was Kalvaxis' ship?
- It was the flagship of Kalvaxis' navy.
- If I were to tell you
that this model here was
made out of the wood of that ship.
Would that be surprising or?
- That be cursed wood then.
And I'd see it out of me
house as soon as you please.
- All right, well, it's not, so—
- The Harpy was destroyed
along with all the rest of
Kalvaxis' wealth long ago.
But the Harpy was the most
fearsome ship on the seven seas.
- Oh.
- It was made with illusory magic.
Could go invisible,
look like another ship.
It could cloak itself, disguise itself,
it was a true devil on the seas.
Far before my time, but,
any sailor knows the legend
of the Harpy.
- Now I do as well.
All right, well father, I must be off.
- Are you truly the
captain of the Owlbear's?
Or is Dayne Blade still the captain?
- Aye-
- Am I the captain of the Owlbears?
It was the talk of everyone
being the captain, but—
- Yeah, Gorthalax seemed to be
really uncomfortable telling anyone
they couldn't be captain.
- Ha, ha, ha.
- So, he uses if you feel like
captain you are a captain.
- Okay, great.
- Ha!
That's my dad.
- Well father, I'll tell you this,
I k*lled the coach of the Owlbears,
which, in a way, I don't know,
makes me king of the Owlbears?
I mean took down the previous ruler,
and though I don't sit in his place
and wear his crown,
I have his soul in some way or another.
- You journey with those friends of yours,
and I see the way they
look at you, a peer,
no fear in their heart of you.
I do not know what you
are the captain of Fabian.
Leave your father be now.
Make a Perception check for me.
- All right.
A three.
- Get along then.
- Yes, papa.
- You walk away from the crow's nest
so you can go down to your room.
You see that Cathilda pops
in real quick and says,
Master Fabian, is everything all right?
- It's fine, it's just I'm not
used to papa being mad at me.
I don't know.
- You're growin' up.
Every parent gets mad at
their children as they
get older because they're really mad
that their seeing their last chances
to make a difference.
- Well, when you put it that way Cathilda.
- You see that she pinches
your cheek and says,
I'll go get some kippers.
- Ooh, thank you.
- We cut over to the
Thistlespring tree real quick.
You arrive home late,
you see your parents are out.
Your dad's in like an undershirt.
Your mom's in like a sort of apron
and has like sort of wrap around.
It's like hot, they're
like welding together,
they're like sweating out of
building this big apparatus.
Look over at you and say, well
hi there, bud, how you doin'?
- I'm good, what, you guys are up late.
- Yeah, we're workin'
on a big ole project.
- Oh, what, what is it?
- Well it's a big ole power
source for the new arcade
down at the Elton Valley Mall.
- Oh?
- Yeah!
- Good night.
- You head to bed.
Anything exciting happen today?
- Oh, um, well, I kinda
went on my first date.
- Ah!
Like fireworks.
Oh my goodness.
Well who's the lucky
young lady or fella bud?
- Oh, I'm glad that your open-minded,
but it's Zelda.
She goes to school with me.
- Golly, that's so lovely.
Well what's she like?
Could she come over?
Where is she now?
- I think she went home
'cause it was gettin' late.
- If she wants to come
over, she can come over.
If you ever wanna hang.
Hey, let me tell ya' somethin',
I know you're a teenager,
you ever wanna have a drink,
you ever wanna do a smoke,
you ever wanna kiss somebody,
I rather you do it here,
under the tree where we know you're safe,
all right bud?
Where we know you're safe.
Okay?
- Okay, all right.
- Well golly, so happy.
Where'd ya, how far, what base?
- We just talked.
- What's that?
You docked?
- We talked.
We talked.
- Talked, oh that's lovely.
- Wait, what is docking?
- Lovely.
- What's dock?
- What's that?
- Docking?
- Well, Wilma wanna handle—
Sure, Digby, I'll handle it.
Docking is when two uncircumcised men
put the tips of they're penises,
erect penises against one another,
and they sort of fold
the foreskin in back,
sort of on top of each other,
- Hmm.
- It's almost like a docking,
sort of an insertion
and they're kind of linked together
by that foreskin there.
- Huh.
We didn't do that.
- Well, I would hope
not, I would hope not.
That's a little bit much for a first date.
- Right.
We shared some ice cream.
- That's, great too.
Whatever you wanna do as
long as everyone involved
is havin' a good time
and you're talkin', yeah?
You should check in
because here's the thing,
you're a big fella,
and one of the important
things you gotta know
is that you gotta be checkin'
with each other's feelings.
Make sure that everyone's
having a good time.
Make sure everyone likes what's happening
and there's, hey, don't buy into the hype,
there is nothing sexier than being clear
about what you like and what feels good.
- Okay, uh, I'm gonna go to bed I guess.
- You know what the number
one erogenous zone is bud?
Bing, bing, bing.
It's the brain, okay.
And everybody bein' on the same page.
- I'm like half way up the
steps.
- All right.
And you know about, you know
about birth control, right?
You know about, you know about condoms.
- Huh?
- 'Cause that's your job.
- Yeah.
- It's not just the lady's job.
- Okay, okay, yeah, I hear you.
- All right.
Wrap it up every time, okay?
- K, good night.
- Keep checking in.
That's two rules for you bud.
Check in and wrap it up.
- Okay.
- Night kiddo.
- Night.
- See you hear them outside sayin',
okay, we better, let's
go put some music on.
Why?
We know he's gonna be
in there, he's gonna—
he's gonna be—
you know what he's
gonna be doin' in there.
Let's just give him a little privacy, huh.
It's a small tree, c'mon.
- Polishing my ax.
- Google confirming docking.
- They play some music.
We'll cut over to
Strongtower Luxury Apartments
with the other four members of the party.
- This is the best.
- Is Gilear there?
- You see that you guys open up,
Gilear is in there,
you see that he is washing a bunch of
what looks like some kind of steak sauce
out of the little whisp of hair.
- Gilear had steak.
- I cast Mend on his hair.
- That's good.
- Yes, one of the more unruly children
at the school today,
saw fit to take the Salisbury steak
and to dump a plate of it on my head.
- Who?
- What's that?
- Who? I'll f*ck 'em up.
- I believe it was Ragh Barkrock.
- I'll f*ck him up too.
- Oh, he is—
- Ragh is so f*cked.
- Mumple-bound moron.
- He's goin' to Mumple, you gotta—
- What a piece of sh*t.
- You got a Ragh-size Mumple?
- You guys wanna know a secret?
- Yeah.
- I think I like girls.
- You definitely do.
- We know.
- You guys wanna know a bigger secret?
I haven't told anyone that.
- Yeah, I think—
- They probably
figured it out.
- Don't tell anyone.
- I mean I think everyone knows.
- You know, I think you
should tell everyone.
I think you should tell Thrasher.
- What?
Who's that?
Oh, Tracker?
- Tracker.
Sorry, I just gave her
a slightly cooler name.
- You hook me up with a Thrasher, maybe.
- Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
- I fall asleep.
On the ground.
- Kristen is totally asleep.
Gilear looks at you and says,
uh, Adaine, you've come to spend the night
here at Strongtower Luxury Apartments.
- It's very luxurious.
- Has a room opened up in your home?
- Why don't you try and
ask my parents that.
Actually I'm not even
gonna put you through that.
No.
- Oh.
- I'm staying here for the night.
- Gilear, this is a place to be.
She's comin' here because her house sucks
compared to—
- It does.
- what we've built together.
- Oh, that's true.
This is the place to be.
- Gilear can I ask you a question?
Do you know about the Harpy?
- What's that?
- The Harpy.
A boat, a ship.
- It is a partially nude bird woman.
- You don't know about
the ship, the Harpy?
- The ship.
- Oh, do you know anything
about the oracle's ship
that sank last year?
- Terrible accident.
Although it's sort of
like you're an oracle.
- That's what I said.
- How do you not,
- You should know that.
- If I'm an oracle and I'm
walking towards the ship,
and I'm, bing, bing,
all right wait a minute,
I'll catch the next one.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna go get a
hotel room for a night
and set sail tomorrow.
- You know they did all lose their lives.
Perhaps we could be a bit gentle.
- All right, all right.
- Fig, why don't you
pack it in, all right.
- h*, h*, h*, h*!
- Gilear I took you back!
I took you back and my dad—
- I'm still having dreams about the Harpy,
the nude bird-woman.
- I'm gonna turn her on her side.
- I have a big smile.
- You see, you do the
responsible thing of turning
Kristen on her side so she
doesn't throw up in her mouth.
- Gilear, where is Gorthalax?
When's the last time you talked to him?
- I talked to him earlier today.
He went to go have a talk
with your mother for the first time.
- Oh, dear.
Okay, cool.
- They're probably, I don't know,
boning down on each other right now.
- Speaking of boning down,
have you seen my mother lately?
- What the f*ck?
- Oh, I figured you
guys were, I don't know.
- Me and your mother.
- Yeah, kind of in the—
- I'll be very honest Riz.
- I'm kinda in the market
for another dad.
- Brutal.
I'll be honest Riz.
Your mother is too much
woman for me to handle.
- Gilear!
- Kiddo, I'm standing here
with steak sauce in my hair.
- He's not wrong.
- I have a, what I'm going to
offer you for dinner tonight,
is an order of garlic
knots that mistakenly came
with a pizza I found.
- How do you know it was a mistake Gilear?
- I checked the receipt
on the outside of the box.
Things aren't going great for ol' Gilear.
- Gilear, we need to do—
- I think they're
going pretty good.
- Gilear come to the mirror with me.
We need to do some affirmations, okay.
- All right.
- This is too sad.
Look yourself in the mirror
and say, I am strong.
- I am strong.
- I am powerful.
- I am powerful.
- I believe in me.
Gilear?
- Does it have to be true when you say it?
- The idea is that it becomes
true if you keep saying it.
- I believe in me.
- Okay.
- Go get it Gilear.
- That's enough affirmations for tonight.
I'm proud of you Gilear.
- All right.
I'm going to go jiggle the vending machine
to see if anything falls out.
If anyone wants any of that.
All right, and you see he
walks down the hallway.
- He's in a rut.
- All right.
Should we go talk to my mother?
- Is your mother there?
- Do I know if my mom gets off soon?
- Um, she gets off in a little while.
But—
- why don't you just
go to sleep.
- I think these three had to sleep
and Riz, you head home.
- Cool, I'd like to set up like a chair
in the middle of the room
and a lamp next to me.
And I'd like to pour
myself
a little drink.
Sitting in the middle of the room.
- I'm gonna kind of platonically snuggle
with Kristin Applebees.
- I'm chirping.
- Here's what you guys see.
At this place,
your mom's full case box
is on the kitchen table.
- Am I there?
Or, no—
- No, you guys are asleep.
It's just Riz.
- Chirp, chirp.
- Well, my mom told me to go home.
She left it out, I open it up.
- Go ahead and give me
an Investigate check.
And you hold the advantage 'cause the
whole f*cking case is here.
- Okay.
Oh, pretty good.
24.
- Your mom's case is being shut
down at the end of the week.
It's moving federal.
They have not been able to work
on the extradition from Highcourt.
There's a lot of dead ends they're hitting
trying to get the Palimpsests
back from Highcourt.
It seems as a lot of wrong
information for some reason.
It's unclear to you what
the f*ck is going on.
But, it's like there's a
bunch of weird dead ends
in their attempts to get
those Palimpsests back.
It covers taking down the Harvestmen
and how they got all the
Harvestmen arrested in town.
That chief feels that's the accomplishment
so the chief is pressuring your mom
because they've already got the Harvestmen
and this is a win for the department.
Let's move on and not
keep it as an open case.
So they're handing off to the feds
to handle the Palimpsest stuff.
You see, you look at something,
and that little scratching clue
in the back of your head triggers.
You're looking at when Biz Glitterdew went
to the hospital from
his attack months ago.
- Mm-hmm.
- And Zayn Darkshadow's time of death.
You see that they have
attributed both of these attacks
to Coach Daybreak.
That because the scarecrow
mask, the sweatpants,
the sweatshirt, all this stuff.
You realize that's impossible
because the time of death
on Zayn Darkshadow is incorrect.
Because time of death is
measured from body temperature.
- Mm.
So, he was taking them cold pills, right?
- Taking them cold pills.
So, you realize that his time
of death would not have been
way sooner as they say it is.
Or sorry, way earlier.
'Cause they're like, oh
he died a long time ago
for his body temperature to be cold.
- But he was like fresh dead.
- Fresh dead.
It's just that now his
body's already that cold.
- Got it.
- Uh, so you see that they're
time of death is wrong
and that the time of
death for Zayn Darkshadow
would have been the exact same
time that Biz was attacked
in his home.
Meaning that two different
people had to have done this.
Coach Daybreak could only
have done one of them.
- Hmph.
- You also see that an
amount here was paid back
from KVX Bank to William Seacaster
and that there is a
amount of money being paid
from KVX to William Seacaster
in this portfolio.
- And that's part of the evidence?
- Part of the evidence in this case.
Doesn't some that they're
going after Seacaster
but it's part of the trust's information
that they were able to obtain from KVX.
- Does it some like Seacaster is the one
that's stopping the Highcourt?
- Doesn't look like it.
There's coach's handwriting
to a contact in Highcourt
about the Palimpsests,
which seems to be the main
thing they're going off of
it's a handwritten letter from the coach
talking about picking
up the next Palimpsest.
- Okay.
The coach wants the
Palimpsests or Highcourt
wants the Palimpsests?
- He's talking to, it's
the coach's handwriting,
to a contact in Highcourt
that they haven't been able to locate
that is about getting
them another Palimpsest
with another soul trapped inside.
- Got it.
Okay.
So he's a supplier.
- You see that Edgar, the rat,
sort of jumps out of your bag,
your little briefcase,
and goes over to a little
area behind your mom's desk
and starts pawing at the wall.
- What the f*ck Edgar.
I go over and I check it out.
I investigate it.
- Yeah, give me an Investigate.
- 24.
- You move your mom's desk,
you feel a little bit of
air coming out of the wall.
You push and the wall
of the apartment opens up.
- We are not gonna get
our security deposit back.
- You walk inside
and you see there is
a little desk in here.
It's a dark corner of the room,
there's like a hanging lamp,
it all looks like super collected dust.
You see that there is a little chair here
with a picture lying down of your dad
as though someone comes
in here to look at it
and have a drink.
There is another desk up against a wall
that has a little picture of you
as a baby and your mom on it.
So, someone had a picture of
you and your mom on their desk.
Looking around you see the
desk is clearly your dad's.
- Okay.
Can I investigate his desk?
- For sure, go for it.
And it's all his sh*t so just
give me roll and advantage.
- Oh my God.
- Man.
- Nat 20.
- Oh, oh!
- Your dad, you see that
there's a photograph of him
in here with your mom.
Your mom is dressed in a sleek black gown
and she's holding him.
Your dad is looking like you
never saw pictures of him.
He was always like a clerk
kind of middle management guy.
You see that he's in a black tux,
he has a little pencil mustache,
sleek haircut, one of these
big long goblet things,
and you see that he has a
g*n, a thing of a holster
under his tux with a little
arquebus with a sil*ncer on it.
- So dope.
- You see that in all
of the stuff on his desk
there is an investigation
he was going into.
Your dad was a foreign agent,
he went into other countries as a goblin,
perfectly able to join
up with evil armies,
to become just another minion,
he would infiltrate places
for the Solesian government.
And spy on them from the inside.
There is evidence here
that he has collected
talking about a ship called the Harpy
and going into a whole
detail of how the wealth
of Kalvaxis had to be destroyed
at the foundation of Solace.
You see that there is a
note in his handwriting
circled around and around
about a dock certificate
where the Harpy was
supposed to be destroyed
and he says wrong ship,
dud, never destroyed.
On another thing,
he goes, there's a side-by-side picture
of the Harpy and a ship
called the Cerulean,
underneath it he says,
illusory capability dot, dot, dot,
same ship, underlined.
You see that there is also a crystal here.
There's a ton of banking information,
wealth, following money trails,
and you see there's a tiny little crystal,
you also see,
you sort of lost track
of it a long time ago,
but you see in here that
it sort of like fell
and rolled away.
You see that Edgar is
looking for something.
There's a little crystal
on your dad's desk
and then Edgar is sort
of scrounging around
for something as well.
- Cool, I'll leave the crystal for now.
Let's see what Edgar is looking at.
- Edgar finds a little Necromancer's pearl
that is gray and you realize
that you haven't kept track of your pearl.
Your mom must have grabbed it for evidence
a long time ago.
This is Zayn Darkshadow's
Necromancer's pearl
and it is gray right now.
- So, that means he's not dead.
Black is dead?
- I believe black is
dead and white is alive.
- Oh, so he's like maybe lost somewhere.
Interesting.
Okay.
Edgar, is this your dad?
Is he—
you think he might be alive?
Maybe?
All right.
I'll check out this crystal.
- You see your dad, a little
image of your dad appears
setting up a crystal.
You see that a little version of you
in the background of the apartment
climbs up on a sofa with
a little magnifying glass.
Your mom comes in and says,
Riz get off the couch your gonna,
there's nothing back there.
There is something back there.
One of your blocks went back here,
how did you find that?
She takes you up into your room.
Your dad looks over and says,
okay, this is Pok Gukgak recording.
It is August 31st, 'bout to head out
on a dangerous mission.
Bud, you see a little nine-year-old you
in the background running around.
Bud, you're nine years old right now,
I've already said goodbye to you,
but, I don't think you really know how
dangerous this is and I
don't really wanna tell you.
God, I had a whole thing prepared
and now it feels kinda stupid.
Kiddo there's a lot that I wanna be around
to be able to tell you.
The world's a hard place for goblins.
We're small, people look at us and
see an image of of a
certain kind of creature,
something that is wicked and disposable,
threatening but also kind of a joke.
It's the worst of all worlds.
It's not really fair,
but, you have a ton of work ahead of you
that in a more just world
you wouldn't have to do.
Knowing how hard a road
you have ahead of you,
I wanna say this,
I'm not worried about you at all.
I got nothing but hopes for you kid
and hopefully you'll
never have to see this.
Clues are always out there
and the one thing nobody's counting on,
is that you'll never give up.
When you're smaller than
everything else in the world,
the one thing that you can
have bigger than everybody
is will and grit.
And that's you kiddo, love ya pal.
Click.
- Love you dad.
I'd like to find his g*n.
'Cause I wanna k*ll
whoever did this with his g*n.
- You find an incredible
midnight black arquebus
with a sil*ncer on it and a bandoleer
of 20 magical b*ll*ts on the side of it.
- Dope.
- You hear the key in the
front door of your apartment.
- Um, I'm just gonna let
my mom find me like this.
- Your mom walks in,
you hear her bag drop,
the front door doesn't even close.
She just walks into this secret room.
- Hey mom.
I know about dad.
- Hey kiddo.
I thought there was a world
where you wouldn't walk
down the same road.
- But mom, we're all super badass,
the whole family is super badass.
At first I thought it was
just me and you were badass,
but dad's a badass too.
We're just like this trio of
frickin' goblin badasses mom.
Do you see, this is so—
- This is so keen.
- Honey, your dad was the
most badass man I ever knew.
- This is so f*ck' cool mom,
why didn't you tell me?
I know you thought it would make me sad,
but it just makes me happy.
- You see she says this is my
greatest fear come to life.
- The reaction you're having,
even more than you being angry at me,
this was what I was trying to avoid.
Because the world will
knock you on your a*s kid.
Are you ready for that?
- I've gotta Nimble Escape, so—
- Your mom kisses you
on the head and says,
f*ck it, there's no
fighting destiny I guess.
Do I smell alcohol on you?
- I had a little bit of
alcohol after, after,
first of all, all my
friends were drinking,
I only had a little alcohol
after I found out about dad.
So, sue me.
- All right.
Let's go visit dad sometime
and I'll tell you all about him, okay?
- I would really like that mom.
And I'm sorry that I
went through your stuff.
- It's fine.
Honestly I think your dad
would have approved of you
finding out this way more than any other.
- Oh, that's really badass.
- She kisses you on the head,
goes off to bed.
And you sleep that night as well.
The next morning you
guys meet up at school.
What do you guys do?
- Guys, I broke the case all right.
My father told me about the Harpy
and the Harpy is,
there's runes on the ship—
- Shh.
- There's runes on the ship all right,
and that means that the ship
can't be seen by divination.
So, that's how it sunk by the oracle.
- Have we thought of if the ship's wealth
is being laundered through the bank?
- Guys, I also found out some stuff.
Turns out my dad was a super badass.
- Okay, all right.
- He was kind of like a
special agent type guy.
He was going in real deep.
I found, his g*n's really cool.
- Whoa!
- It's even more magic than my g*n.
Anyway, apparently, I found some evidence.
There was a false wall in my apartment,
I guess we have a two bedroom.
- So cool.
- I hope Gilear has one of these.
- Oh!
- So, I went in there
and I found my dad's desk
and it turns out that the
Harpy didn't really sink.
- That's what I said.
I said the exact some
thing and nobody cared.
- Right, but it's the Cerulean.
- The Cerulean was the ship
that had the oracle in it.
- Yeah.
The Cerulean did sink.
- The Cerulean—
- Unless, it didn't sink
and it had these runes on it of illusion.
And it just was an illusion that it sank
and actually it's just sailing around.
Why would they want—
- That makes sense.
Because everyone's been saying
why would oracles get onto a ship
that was going to sink.
- Right.
But why did they need an oracle?
- Maybe they need the oracle to stop them.
- I found out something too.
- Is it that you're g*y?
- I might be g*y.
- I just wanna say—
- You told us
when you were drunk.
- something really quick.
I'm a little hungover
and maybe this will
take 10 minutes to say.
I hope it doesn't take that long but—
- Ha, ha, ha.
- I just wanna say,
we are friends and we for awhile,
you know what,
the Corn God was my religion,
but now, seeing you guys is my friends
that's what I believe in.
And you guys were there with me through—
- It's actually inspiring.
- From kisses to kiss.
So many kisses.
I can't sleep sometimes I'm
thinkin' about all the kisses.
The kisses to come
- I know how that feels.
- Kisses that passed.
- I'm just quietly sitting about
realizing I've never kissed anybody.
- Just so many kisses, drownin'
in kisses at this point.
Older people kisses, young people kisses.
Kisses for all of you.
I kiss everyone.
- Oh, yeah.
That's my ticket.
- You loved it!
- That was my first kiss.
- Well, I'm g*y, so you're gonna have
to talk about this in therapy later.
Set you up for failure.
- I had a—
- Did we deduce that the
Cerulean is the Harpy?
- You guys have deduced that the Cerulean
is the Harpy.
- And we believe it to be missing.
- You believe it to be missing
or that it's illusory capability
was what allowed—
- To show that
it was sinking?
- Was what allowed the Harpy
to become the Cerulean without anybody
noticing it was missing.
- Can we assume that you've filled us in
on everything, right?
- Yeah.
I told you everything.
- So, perhaps, did you tell
us everything about Seacaster?
- Yeah.
- So, perhaps the bank
is bribing your dad,
because he knows it's still out there.
- I didn't want to say this,
but it took another strong man
beating the sh*t of someone.
Do you think they convinced your dad
to commit the other, like rough up?
- My father couldn't be
beaten into anything.
- Oh, I have something.
Two things.
I learned about, first
this thing called docking.
It's just very interesting.
But, second, the more important thing.
My parents are working
on this power source.
Are we still looking for a
power source or anything?
- Oh, for the Palimpsests.
- I think we have—
- I think, well Riz
says he couldn't.
- Wait, are they making it for the bank?
- She said the arcade.
But, maybe the bank—
- Or maybe they're making it
for the bank.
- You guys hear The Hangman say,
master, trouble with the girls house~.
- f*ck!
- What?
- There's trouble at the girl's house.
- Oh, how do we get there?
Go on a bus?
- Go in a car?
Gilear!
- Let's get Gilear to drive us.
- Gilear!
We need to borrow your car.
- You guys are at school right now.
- We're going to the lunch lad.
- Oh,
- Sorry, Lunch Lad.
- What, no, I have to-
- I reach into pick his pocket
for his keys.
- I have to warn you—
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
I got a 23.
Sleight of hand.
- He says I can't go right now,
I have to warm up the Hot Pockets.
- Oh, okay, well you keep doing your job
and thank you for everything you've done.
- Thank you so much.
- Very well.
- Sometimes I prefer you to Gorthalax.
- We run.
- Gilear, you have an open
Hot Pocket on your head.
- Gilear, I actually don't
want you to be my dad anymore.
- What?
- I don't want you to be my dad anymore.
- Hurtful.
- Ha, ha, ha.
- Here's some Elfin way bread
that I just pulled out of—
- Everyone's introducing a
different topic to me right now.
- I might be g*y.
- Oh my God.
- You said you were for sure.
- I mean I'm leaving my options open.
- Okay, bye bye Gilear.
- You still drunk from last night?
- No, I'm fine, I got
some coffee, it was Irish.
I'm not Irish.
I thought it was funny.
- You guys jump in Gilear's car—
- Wait, on the way out,
do I see Ragh at all?
- Let me roll.
You do not see Ragh on the way out.
- Ah, I just wanted to
blast him real quick.
- You guys dip out of there.
You grab Gilear's car,
you head over to where The Hangman is.
The Hangman is in the front
yard covered in blood,
surrounded by a whole
bunch of shirtless satyrs,
that have like tattoos and look insane
and there's a bunch of just like dead
what look like weird elemental creatures
like summoned fiends and stuff like that.
Just happened in the suburban,
this is like a scene of slaughter.
- f*ck.
- So, this is it.
- Hangman,
- What happened?
- What happened?
- Master, these rad satyrs flipped out
and k*lled all of these
summoned beings here.
You see that the lead
satyr comes over and says,
hey which one of you, which one of you is,
you are the boyfriend.
- I don't know if I'm the boyfriend.
- Yes, that's the one.
- He grabs you and kisses you
firmly on the mouth and says,
I am the father of your woman.
- Okay.
- Was that your second kiss?
- Baffling.
- Someone put my girl in this ball.
- Oh, f*ck!
- In a ball?
- Of course.
- Is it a crystal?
- You see that there's a Palimpsest.
- We've lost every other Palimpsest.
We have to get her out—
- We can get her out of there.
- You guys—
- Yeah, I think we can get her out.
- He says, you can get her out?
I trust you.
When you get her out,
you know what you must do.
- I, will give, yes, I do, I will.
- I think he means the
honorable thing is to marry her.
- Oh!
- What?
- Oh, okay.
- No, we worship the
God of wine and ecstasy.
- We have wine.
- Yeah, I have a bunch of fine open wine.
- You know what you must do.
- I have to get drunk with her?
- That's a start my man.
- Oh, okay, all right.
- Oh my God.
- Very well.
We will return to our home
and continue to watch daytime televison.
- Is it cool if I have some of this punch?
- Oh, that is a religious hallucinogenic.
- Oh.
It tastes good.
There's some melon in
it, I didn't expect that.
- You guys dip out.
And you have this
Palimpsest that apparently
Zelda has been sealed inside.
- Can I Detect Magic on the
things that got conjured?
- Yes, you can.
Go ahead and give me an Arcana Check.
- Okay.
- I can do the some thing.
- 21.
- 21.
These were conjured by your sisters magic.
- How the hell?
This is Aelwyn.
- Did she make a
bargain to get out of jail?
- Did she, maybe Penelope is—
- The one that's—
- Oh!
Wait, I bet that Penelope is your sister.
I bet your sister's in
disguise as Penelope, maybe.
- But, she's in jail.
- Yeah, so I'm saying—
- But she got out.
- I hate her so much.
- I also didn't tell you
guys that Zayn and Biz
were attacked at the exact same time.
- Oh yeah.
That's what I was saying.
Do you think maybe Bill Seacaster
was that second attacker?
- I don't think so, I think it was—
- Someone strong enough.
- I think he's just muscle for something.
- I don't think Seacaster
would beat up a child.
I don't think he would see
it as an honorable fight.
- We have to find Penelope.
- We have to.
- You get a little bing on your crystal.
It's an article from your
mother being sent to you.
A little news article.
- I hate it when she sends me articles.
- It's probably about marriage.
- Yeah, it's probably, just close it.
- w*r declared between
Fallinel and Solace.
The government has discovered
that an Elven strike team
liberated a diplomatic
family member from custody.
And Solace has declared w*r.
- Uh oh.
- That would mean your sister.
- So, I think I maybe
accidentally started a w*r.
- That happened fast.
- They broke her out.
They broke her out, that's
what started the w*r.
- Let's just text Biz
and see what he says we
should do with the crystal.
- There's a w*r, should I—
- Should we
pick a headquarters so we don't
have to go to school, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, let's, we—
- Yeah, there's a w*r, f*ck school.
Should we call, should we find out,
'cause Aelwyn must have got out of jail.
That's what it said, right?
- She broke free?
- I know this is crazy,
but I think Strongtower Luxury Apartments
should be our main headquarters.
- Great.
Can we, let's go.
- You've stolen Gilear's car
so you're good to go.
- I think we needed,
earlier, and we can ask Biz
to see if this makes any sense,
and also I'm so stupid,
so I don't even know
what I'm talking about.
But we needed—
- You have the power source
from your parents
- a power source.
- Yeah, bring Biz to your
parent's house and we can—
- Okay, yeah, let's go to
my parent's house with Biz.
- You go to your parent's house
and do you guys text Biz too?
- Yeah, we text Biz too.
- Biz shows up there.
- Uh, maybe we shouldn't text him,
maybe we should show up to his house
and make sure it's not intercepted.
- Cool, you pick up Biz and he goes,
hey g*ng, what's going on?
- Get in the car, Biz.
- Don't sit next to me.
- Can I do a check to
see if it's really him?
- Sure.
- Oh yeah, I would like to
do that too.
- I have a six.
- Oh, I didn't do my rolls
for that either.
- You see that, yeah it seems
like it's Biz to you guys.
- I got a 26 Insight.
- Yeah, seems like Biz.
- Biz, you check out.
- You see that, you guys are driving,
you're looking on your phone,
it's like a weird, scary day.
You see like this f*ck'
sudden declaration of w*r
because an Elven military
unit performed an operation
on Solesian soil.
It's like an immediate, you
know, that's an act of w*r.
- I'm driving right?
- I mean it's insane that my parents
would just text me an article
to tell me this and not be
like you should come home.
- Can we look more information,
like what preceded this happening.
We see that she broke
out of the jail cell.
- She was broken out by
an Elven strike team.
- Yes.
- That means that Fallinel sent a crew.
- Deeper in the article,
it says that your sister has
been remanded to Elven custody.
Which is interesting.
- She's remanded to Elven custody?
- Meaning
that they also are like
- So she's just at home.
- Should we go to your house?
- I don't think with should go there.
- No, let's break out this Pal—
Let's see if we can get
this Palimpsest open.
- You guys arrive at
the Thistlespring tree
big old f*ck' power source.
You see that Biz is there goes,
oh, baby, okay, daddy like.
- I throw up a little bit in my mouth.
- Should one of us be
spying on your house?
- I think I'm gonna be the muscle.
I'm gonna go in to bouncer mode
and just kinda strut around
in my German Shepard mode.
- You see the Thistlesprings are there,
your parents come out and say,
hey bud, how's it goin'?
- Kinda bad.
You remember that girl I told you about?
- Yeah.
- She's in here.
- Wha—!
- She got stuck, some
magic put her in here.
But I think if we use the power source
that you have here,
we could maybe start to get her out.
- Biz looks at it and goes,
I've got an idea, check it out.
We can't move this thing in a car,
or I don't know if we can, but
can you guys meet me tonight
at the Elk Valley Mall?
Because we could hook this bad boy up
to the new arcade they're building there.
And that's gonna power this bad boy.
We could get this f*ck'
Palimpsest cracked in no time
with the amount of juice
running through that place.
- Well this was already
going to the arcade, right.
- Yeah.
- You see the Thistlesprings
nod their head.
Says bingo f*ck' bango.
- Wait, that's weird.
- Hacker, back at it again, wild.
- That's wild Biz.
- Yeah, Biz.
- Okay.
- That's kinda weird though.
Why was it already going to the arcade?
Is someone else trying to do something
with these Palimpsests?
- We just gotta get her out I think.
- Yeah.
- So, let's just go.
- We have to protect
the Palimpsest before—
- Yeah definitely.
- How are you guys going to,
oh, actually you see that
the Thistlesprings say,
we already have a van
to move it if you guys—
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we'll load it in.
- We'll accompany you to the old mall.
- I'm gonna text Gilear and tell him
I'm still borrowin' his car.
- He texts you back and says,
I have made several reports
to the police today,
you need to tell me
these things in advance.
- Call the pigs off Gilear.
- You guys roll over to the mall.
It's after hours,
you see the Thistlesprings go in,
there's this giant arcade,
Skee-Ball, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing,
all these f*ck' wild
machines everywhere.
- Hey, mom and dad, I think—
- Yeah?
- I'd like if you guys got outta here,
we can handle it from here I think.
- Okay, if you think that's wise, sure.
- Biz you got it, right?
- You see Biz says,
do I got it?
- You got it, right?
- Oh yes, I got it.
Yeah, for sure.
- It text my mom, k.
It's several hours later.
I just text her k.
- Guys I got a slushie
if anyone wants some,
it's in like one of
those long yard things.
- That's a margarita.
Who gave you a margarita?
- What?
- It's wartime, so I'm sure
everything's looser now.
- You guys are walkin' in here.
There's this giant glass
case of all the rewards
and sh*t that people have here.
Huge reward casing that's super rad.
Different prizes and sh*t in there.
- Hey Biz.
- Yeah.
- You got Dark Vision?
- Yeah, I do.
- I do too.
- Me too.
- Can I cast Detect Good
and Evil on this arcade?
- Sure, yeah, absolutely.
- I cast it.
- You Detect Good and Evil.
There's a faint malevolent presence.
- Mm.
- In some of the games.
One or two of the games
has like a sort of faint
malevolent presence in it.
- Can I do an Arcana Check?
- Sure.
- I'd like to German Shepherd
case it.
- Cool.
- Ah, 22.
- You start looking around
at the arcade stuff.
You see that Biz quickly wheels
the thing into the back and says,
Riz, you wanna give me a hand, dude?
- Yep.
- Sort of wheels it back.
Starts setting it up in this back room
with a bunch of machines around there.
Make a Perception Check.
- Sure.
- I have a crazy idea.
- 17.
- As he's setting up he goes,
all right, well we got this puppy pretty,
I'll be able to crack this
Palimpsest in no time.
You see that there is a
little video game console
and you see that it's
called Lucky Stones on it.
And you see that a little halfling girl
appears on the screen and goes,
hi, I'm Penny, wanna play?
- What the f*ck?
- You start to examine one of the games.
You see a powerful conjuration on it.
You detect a sort of malevolent
presence from the game
that Adaine is looking at.
- There's, what are you seeing?
- It's some kind of powerful magic on it.
- And you guys are in the
front room kind of area here.
- Can I, can I press the buttons?
See what's going on with this?
- Yeah, you look at it—
- Put a lil silver in there.
- You start to put the game in there.
You see that some,
Hi, I'm Katia, I'm here to chop, hwah!
Fighting game, chop, ah, hah.
- If I cast Guardian of Faith
at a point in this arcade,
it lasts for eight hours.
Can I cast that like—
- Yes!
- Ahead of time?
'Cause it feels crazy and I
want something on our side.
- You cast Guardian of Faith.
You see that Biz looks over at you,
and says, Riz what's goin' man?
- That is one of the missing girls.
She used to be my babysitter.
And she's in that game.
- You see he looks at you and says,
hey, can I be super
honest with you for a sec?
Guys like us don't really
get a chance to be cool,
you know what I mean?
- Sure.
- And, um, it's not like fair.
Like hot guys always get
like all the attention.
- Oh my God.
- Are you giving me a
nice guy speech right now?
- He says, but here's the thing dude,
here, with these,
you see that he takes a blank
Palimpsest out of his pocket.
He says we get to call the
shots when they're in here.
- Oh, so we make the games.
Got it.
Dude are you the one that's
hookin' all these up?
- Uh, what can I say dude,
I'm good at what I do.
- Ha!
- You see he says,
- You son of a b*tch.
- Now, I got one extra
one from our new supplier,
and I've had my sights on
Ms. Abernant for some time.
- Can I see it?
- Are you in dude? Cause
you feel like a cool guy.
- Dude, I am in.
- You see he says,
take a look, go for it, what do you think.
- Very cool, I pull my
g*n out.
- I wanted everybody
here to roll Initiative.
- Ah!
- That little creep.
- That's it for this week on Fantasy High.
See you next week
to see exactly how the game gets played.
- Oh I'm gonna wring
his little shitty neck.
- We find ourselves at the
arcade in the back room
around this giant power structure
filled with glowing crystals.
An insane phantasmagoria of rainbow colors
begins to enshroud the arcade.
- I run up, I grab Fabian,
I say trust me.
- What the f*ck are you doing?
- Get ready to find
coins or else you'll die!
Welcome player one.
Fight!
- What's happening?
Where am I?
- Riz, Riz is that you?
- That's me.
I think we're f*cked.
- How many dice you pickin' up dude?
- Oh my—
- What are you—
- Put these dice down.
- No!
- Ah!
- Oh my God!
- What!
What!
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01x13 - First Kisses and Last Words
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.