- My parents are working
on this big power source,
are we still looking for a power source
or anything, or does
- Oh for the palimpsest.
- We could hook this bad
boy up to the new arcade.
We could get this f*cking
palimpsest cracked
in no time with the amount of juice
running through that place.
You see that there is a
little video game console,
it's called Lucky Stones, and you see that
a little halfling girl
appears on the screen and goes
hi I'm Penny, wanna play?
We get to call the shots
when they're in here.
- Can I, can I see it?
- Are you in? Cause you
feel like a cool guy.
- Dude I am in.
- Take a look go for
it, what do you think?
- Take it, I pull my g*n out on him
- Welcome back to Fantasy High!
My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan.
These are our intrepid heroes,
say hi intrepid heroes.
Say hi intrepid heroes.
- Hi intrepid heroes.
- For now.
- We might not be intrepid after this?
- We find ourselves at the
arcade at the Elm Valley Mall.
In the back room around
this giant power structure,
filled with glowing crystals,
Biz Glitterdew, and Riz Gukgak face off.
Last session, Riz pulled a g*n.
We are going to begin
with a box of doom roll!
- What!
- Already?
- This is mostly in your guys favor.
It is going to determine whether
or not Riz gets a surprise round.
- Oh dope.
- On Biz, what's going to happen is this.
Riz, you're going to roll deception.
Biz is going to roll
insight, which is wisdom.
Biz gets a minus one to this roll.
- Okay, makes sense.
He's not good a picking up on cues.
- And you're deception is plus one.
- My deception is, oh it's deception,
okay, my deceptions not great but
- Plus one, you need to get
more than less than two than him
- 14 yes!
- Our old clueless friend
Biz, who though he had
a true friend in Riz Gukgak
is about to get shot.
- I feel so bad for him.
- Are you using your cool g*n?
- Oh yeah using a dope g*n.
- I am using my cool g*n,
is my cool g*n different?
- Your cool g*n is a magical weapon.
- Dope, so I say, alright sorry
Biz, you're a f*cking creep,
and then I'm gonna try
to, insightful fighting,
try to get my sneak attack on him,
so that's an 18 insight,
it's insight versus deception.
- Gotcha, you do not get insight into Biz.
- f*ck, alright, I'll just sh**t him.
- sh**t him, point blank.
- It landed on a corner.
And I rolled a one.
- Oh sh*t.
- The g*n, smoke comes out
of the g*n, and your hand as
ping, ping, ping, ping, you see Biz goes,
man I thought you were cool,
His eyes start to spiral,
glitter and color start to ooze
out of his fingers,
everybody in the arcade sees
the walls wuub wuub undulate, sparkle
an insane fantasmagoria of
rainbow, color, and endless
space begins to enshroud the arcade.
Where the machines end, the lights begin,
and endless sound and noise occurs,
is beyond your conception as it turns
into this chaotic wonderland.
Alright time to throw down I guess.
- Hey guys, Biz is a bad guy.
- Yeah no duh!
- I thought he was just a bad guy,
like he sucked but he's a real bad guy.
- That's going to be Gorgug, your action.
- Okay, can I make a
perception check on that case,
with the prizes?
- Yes you can, go ahead and make
a perception check for me.
- Okay.
That is only a 10.
- There's some
stuff in those cases,
looks like some cool prizes and stuff.
- Cool.
- There's like a sword,
and some like sneakers,
and there's like a teddy
bear, a fun teddy bear prize,
and there's some like Nerf b*ll*ts,
and some shittier, cheaper
stuff, you know like marbles,
and f*cking jumpin, little jacks.
- I'll do one on my turn too.
- Take the freakin sword dude.
- I'm going, kinda wanna
leave the sword for Fabian,
so I'm just gonna go into a
rage and run into the next room.
- You enter a rage, run
into the next room, awesome.
Go ahead and move your character,
You now have a speed of 40
so you can move 8 square in one movement.
- Yeah so one, two, three four,
five, six, seven, eight.
- So that's a movement action,
if you wanna take another action you can
you you can use a dash, if you'd like.
- I'm gonna dash,
- Hell yeah.
- Gonna dash.
- So that's eight more, so one,
can I move through my friends?
- You can move
through your friends
- Two.
- I'm gonna need you to make a dexterity,
sorry a charisma saving throw.
- Charisma.
- Why, because of the fantasmagoria?
- And being in a rage is not as helpful?
- Not as helpful for that.
- Okay so just, f*ck,
I have zero charisma.
Oh, nat 20.
- Go ahead and keep moving man.
You are in a deep rage, whatever was about
to happen does not happen.
- So that was three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
- That's you, that's your turn.
That is going to be
you guys see that
We who gave our lives
here defend the master.
Ghosts leap from the video games,
surrounding you, emerging.
You see the ghosts are
dripping with ectoplasm,
their Coke bottle glasses
pushed up their nose,
their pocket protectors full of pencils,
little binders under their book,
little references on T-shirts,
or short sleeve button ups.
You see two appear on either
side of you guys here.
Go ahead and let me know
what Guardian of Faith does.
- So they have to, that
one that's near it,
it's up to 10 feet, so
what is that one square?
- Two squares.
- Two squares, okay, so I guess just
one of those is included.
They have to make a
dexterity saving throw,
if they fail they take 20 radiant damage,
if they pass they take 10.
- Gotcha, okay, and what's the DC on that?
- 16.
- 16, Jesus,
And it's a wisdom save?
- Or charisma.
- Dexterity.
- Dexterity! None of the saves would've
mattered anyway.
- I think it's for 20?
- Yeah so it hits for 20, up to 60,
so this is the first hit.
- Oh okay, that makes more sense.
- So it only lasts for a little bit.
- You see that one of
the nerds, this sort of
young woman whose got this
little nerd T-shirt on,
her hair kinda in her face, she goes,
Game on!
The Giant Spectral Corn says
Chosen of the Corn God,
Kristen shall not be denied,
feel the might glow of my kernels!
And this ghost is partially
shredded by radiant light.
I'm not supposed to be out in the sun!
- Cool.
- Yo I shout in, Corn God sucks!
- I kinda agree.
- I like the scholars.
- These ghosts are gonna
take some swings at you.
One goes for Kristen,
that's gonna be a miss.
One goes for Adaine,
what's your armor class?
- 12.
- That's a miss.
- Hell yeah,
- f*cking nerd.
- Two are going for Gorgug,
- What is happening?
- Oh, they both miss, and two go for Riz.
Riz, what's your AC?
- 15.
- One of these ghosts reaches out
and shreds you for
23 points
- Uncanny dodge
- 23 points of necrotic
damage, does uncanny dodge,
I'm gonna need you to make
a wisdom saving throw.
- Okay.
Five.
- One of the ghosts says,
If you die here you can be my pal,
and you are filled with such
a deep fear of that fate,
that you need more than anything
to get out of this arcade.
- Got it.
- That is now going to be Fabian.
- Can I also do a perception
check on the rewards?
- Yeah, you absolutely may.
- 13.
- Yeah, there's like
some cool prizes in here,
There's like swords, and shoes,
there's like a cool Frisbee
- Maybe that's like the
ghosts unfinished business
is that they wanna win the prizes,
f*ck give them a prize man.
- Can I go take a look at the sword?
- Yeah, your perception check
is taking a look at the sword,
it's the most expensive
thing, it's way up high,
it's this jet black little short sword
that looks incredibly like
shimmery and shadowy looking,
and it takes a million
credits at the arcade.
- God, I mean, I'd like it.
- Go for it, you can
absolutely smash that thing.
- Okay,
- So you're going to
take your action to like
smash the glass, go ahead and
give me an athletics check
to see if you can smash it
without cutting yourself.
- 16.
- That's fine, you elbow,
and you line up your jacket,
and bam, break the glass,
snatch this sword out of it.
It glimmers and shines in your hands.
The little placard reads,
Ultimate Ninja Sword, found
in a for real ninja monastery
that my friend Trevin found out about.
- Trevin.
- That's so long to write on a sword.
- A little placard.
- My friend Trevin found it!
This real ninja sword
is a million credits,
and it glimmers in your hands.
- Fantastic,
- That's your action, your
movement, you're right there,
so you can still take
another few feet of movement
if you want, you can
move like three squares.
- Yeah I'll take it,
one, two, three.
- Dope, that's going to be Kristen,
- Okay.
I'm just gonna cast Spirit
Guardians as a fourth level slot,
- Awesome.
- Oh f*ck.
- And just have that start,
and that means I have an extra D8,
so I have four D8 of damage
to anyone who's near me.
- Jesus Christ.
- That's so much.
- Oh no, I didn't have that,
it has to be a three level slot
cause I only get one four.
- Gotcha, no worries.
- So that's three D8s, but still that's
- Pretty sick.
- I'll take it.
- Kristen you cast the
spell do you move or no,
you just cast the spell?
Cause you're surrounded right now.
- Yes, and I would like to, I can choose
any number of creatures
to be unaffected by it
so obviously the party.
- Adaine that's you.
- Is this a wall?
- Oh wait sorry, I wanted to move.
- Oh you wanted to
move, so where you move?
- My mistake, just as far
as I can towards Gorgug,
can we move into this like blank space?
- This bank space is the undulating, weird
patterns of light and energy,
you are unable to move
into that part of the
arcade, there appears
to be a weird, like the
floor under you is almost
like buckling and looking weird,
like magic and power basically.
You take your movement, one,
two, three, four, five, six
They're gonna get attack
opportunity on you.
- Oh which one?
- Both ghosts will,
sorry this ghost will get one on you,
and that ghost will get one on you.
- Okay cool.
Oh they both miss.
- Cool.
- These ghosts are not rolling well.
That's going to be Adaine.
- I would like to cast Dispell Magic
on this hallucinogenic effect.
- You're looking at this magical effect,
give me an arcana check.
- Okay,
24.
- There are dozens of multiple,
distinct magical effects
happening right now, so it's not
- Okay, so it's not just one spell?
- Not just one spell doing it.
- In which case I will do something else.
- Can I yell in elvish
like let's leave that game
where we found the girl and let's try
to find the rest of the girls and let the
- Dope.
- Wait what are you trying to say?
- Oh they're not inside yet
- Yeah, I guess I'll cast
burning hand on this girl,
who's already damaged
- Yeah go for it.
- Great.
Which is a dexterity saving throw for her.
- She succeeds on the
dexterity saving throw.
- So it's three D6 half damage.
One.
Five.
Six, Jesus, three damage, oh my god.
- Take it b*tch, right?
What were you trying to say in elvish
because I would like to know.
- Oh we found the girl, we
found a girl on this game
she's trapped inside, but we can run ahead
and find the rest of the girls,
so that as you guys come in
you can work on that game,
but we can move forward.
- Okay, I might not do that.
- And Adaine, I'm gonna need you
to make a charisma saving throw.
- Oh God dammit.
13.
- 13 succeeds.
That's going to be, Fig.
- Okay, I would like to do two things.
One, I'd like to do a
perception check on the prizes.
- Go for it, make a check
- 13.
- There's some cool prizes.
- The cases have prizes in
them, it's a series of objects,
there was a sword, it's gone now.
- I would like to just grab
all of the ones I can carry.
- Cool you spend your round just stuffing,
- No I would have to spend
my whole round doing it?
- As many as you can carry?
Yeah you'd have to be smashing glass
and picking up as many of the
things as you possibly could.
- Describe them to me I need to know
if this is a waste of my time.
It is nothing?
- There is a teddy bear,
- I'm not gonna get that, I don't think.
- Em, attack a ghost.
- Cause I'm about to make a big move.
- There's a teddy bear,
- There was a Frisbee.
- There is a Frisbee, there's
a cool pair of sneakers,
there's some headphones,
there's a skateboard,
there is a Frisbee.
- Will it take my whole round
just to grab the skateboard
or can I still do something else?
- You have to use an
action to smash the glass
and take the skateboard.
- Alright then I don't know
if this is the right thing.
I'm gonna grab Fabian and I'd
like to teleport into here.
- Cool, a dimension door?
- Yeah.
- Hell yeah.
- I'm gonna be a bit of
a stickler right now,
you have to know where you're
going to dimension door.
- I mean, I said I cased the joint.
- I'm gonna ask you, I'm
gonna do you a solid,
and say it's an even 50/50
you went into that back room
so go ahead and roll me a D20,
one through 10 means that you
cased the outside and the
front, 11 through 20 means
that you went all the way to the back room
and you know how to get there.
- Okay.
19.
- Your rolls are unbelievable
- That's so great.
- Are you able to take
people with Dimension Door?
- Yeah.
- Dope.
- I can take one person.
- Rad, awesome.
- So I run up, I grab
Fabian and I say trust me.
- What the f*ck are you doing?
- She's winking the whole way.
- Where the f*ck are we, oh god.
- And you guys arrive
there, that's going to be.
- I don't know if that was right guys,
what if we needed something from the,
- I mean I did grab the sword so,
- Yeah.
- I have, I have destroy-
- When I land I'll wink at Riz
- Oh thank you, I am scared right now.
- Cool I am going to need,
Biz rushes one hand over
here, touches the pillar
and you hear Katia downloading
and that's what you hear.
- We know Katia from, she
was in Penelope's pictures,
- We already saw, we saw Katia
- She's in a game
- She's already in a game.
- Is that the one that you
guys saw, or did we see Katia?
- We saw Katia.
- We saw Katia, oh you're still there.
- I think that's bad.
- I am then going to need
I am then going to need Fabian
and Fig to make wisdom saving throws.
- This is bad,
- 16.
- 14.
- You see that Biz flies
straight up to the ceiling, goes,
Hey, I'm just trying to have
a good time with my friends
and you guys don't seem to recognize
how much of a pal I can be.
You feel your mind go absolutely crazy.
You just see images in
your head of millions
of Biz Glitterdews going
like, good time, bubububu
good time, bubububu, good time!
And that's what's going on in your mind,
you resist that effect.
- Amazing.
- The sword.
- The power of the sword
- Riz that's going to be your
turn, you are fully frightened,
- Got it.
- So you have to spend your whole
- Do I have to make a saving throw?
- At the end of your turn.
- f*ck, okay, so then I'll use
Nimble Escape to disengage.
- Cool.
- And then I dash the rest of the way.
- One, two, three, four, five, six,
I'm gonna need you to make
a charisma saving throw.
- The Ball, where are you going?
- I'm just screeching.
10 plus, you know what, I'll
also use my bardic inspiration
f*ck you.
- Hey don't blame it on the bard.
- Don't blame it on the bard.
- 12?
- Yeah.
- You run past Penny
Luckstone's game that you saw,
you look at it and you go,
Hey it's me Penny, come
help me find coins!
Bam!
- What?
- You are fully, you
disappear from the arcade
ba ba boom, you look at
your body and your hands,
you are made of light and pixels,
and you see an endless
expanse of tunnels and coins
spreading out from you in all directions.
You took your Nimble Escape, you took your
movement and made it
there, you have an action.
- I am gonna yell, Hey Penny, you here?
- It's me Penny Luckstone,
get ready to find coins
or else you'll die.
As she starts to run down
a tunnel collecting coins.
- Coins, you need coins!
- Cool, I will grab some coins.
- Cool
- Alright, let me investigate,
I'll use my action to investigate.
A nat one.
Brennan, a nat one, it's a cool game.
- So you believe you may be
in some kind of video game.
- Oh okay, cool, this is
cool, this is a cool game.
I love video games.
- That's gonna be Gorgug.
- Okay, can I make an insight
check on one of these games?
- Yeah, make an insight check.
- Surrounded by ghosts looking at a game,
what is this Dig Dug?
- Oh I got,
what is my insight, 19.
- You look at the games, you don't know if
there's a way to interact
with these games in particular
to help people, they
seem to all be wired up
to some central place
here in the actual arcade.
But you also notice that
some of these appear
to be glowing malevolently,
some of these games.
- Okay.
Cool, do I see one of those near me?
- One of the malevolent games?
- Yeah.
- Yes there's one right ahead of you
that appears to be very dangerous.
- Okay, well I guess first things first,
I'm just going to attack
the ghost in front of me.
Alright so,
Alright that's a 19
- That hits, go ahead and
roll all your attacks at once,
- Okay,
Then the second one is just a 13
- Hits,
- Oh, and then another 13.
- All three hit, go ahead and roll damage.
- Okay so first one D12 plus five,
okay so,
a 14 on the first one,
13 on the second one
and 13 on the third one.
- 40.
- 40.
- You f*ck this ghost right up,
- God these guys are bad, that's strong.
- Yeah.
- I'm in hell right now.
I'm in hell Nick Arcade.
- What if we needed something
from the prize chest?
- I mean we had three insight
rolls to let us know that.
- Cool that's going to
be the ghost's turn.
- Spirit Guardians!
- It's not dead?
- Spirit Guardians!
- Yes, no it is not dead.
- Damn.
- Oh I love the Spirit Guardians.
- You see that these ghosts
are gonna swing at you,
one of them swings at you Gorgug.
Misses, another one swings at you,
misses again and you see
that both of them vanish.
- Like they're dead?
- They go (maniacal
laughing) fly into the wall.
These ones take damage, is
it a 15 foot radius or no?
15 foot or 10 foot?
- 10, 10 foot on that Guardian of Faith.
- So this one's going to roll,
that one fails it's saving throw,
you go ahead and roll full damage.
- It's just automatic
damage I think right?
20 damage?
- It's for the first time,
so it can only affect
each ghost once, I think.
- I'm talking about Spirit Guardians.
- She's over here.
- I'm over here
- Oh there's other guys, would it happen
at the start of their turn?
- Yeah.
- It would?
Okay so one of them
fails and the other one
also fails, so go ahead and
roll damage for those two,
they started their turns.
- The ones that were near me?
- The one's that were
near you guys, over here.
- Oh great, okay yeah,
- Does the one on the
other side of me get hit?
- 14.
- 14 damage, the one that
you really f*cked up,
you see that a spirit
appears next to you and says,
All that is necessary
for the triumph of evil
is that good spirits do nothing.
Destroys that ghost, the
other one is badly f*cked up,
how much damage was it again?
- That was 14.
- 14, is also badly f*cked up.
- But neither of them got k*lled?
- No one of them got destroyed.
- Ha, what did it look like?
What sense did we get,
to their vulnerabilities?
Just disappeared?
- I think they got like
50 hit points right?
- That's going to be the
rest of these ghosts.
This one here is going to attack Adaine,
this one as well is gonna come in,
that one now has to
roll for damage as well.
- Yeah, so it's a, they have to beat 16
- It does not beat 16.
- So it takes 20.
- f*cked up.
- Clerics are good
guys, believe it or not.
- They're gonna take
some swings at Adaine.
- sh*t.
- One of them hits for,
16 points of damage,
reaching out and withering you.
That's going to be a wisdom
saving throw from you.
- Ah sh*t.
11.
- You are filled with a deep terror.
- f*ck!
- I'm gonna need you to
roll for panic attack.
- Oh sh*t,
- It's plus wisdom right?
- Yup.
- 14.
- You are absolutely petrified,
horrified by these beings.
These two turn and go for Fabian.
I'm gonna need Fabian to make a,
first, one of them is gonna
take a swing at you, misses.
I'm gonna need Fabian to
make a charisma saving throw.
- That's not covered by
remarkable athlete, right?
- Nope.
- 15.
- One of them goes, Wait a
minute, this guy looks rad.
I wonder what your controls are like,
and attempts to leap into your mouth.
- Oh Christ!
- You dodge out of the way.
- The sword!
- That is the ghost's turn,
it is now going to be.
- He just tried to leap into my mouth.
- Fabian that's gonna be you.
- Okay, the one of them just
tried to leap into my mouth,
Riz just ran off behind me,
- Disappeared into an
arcade game behind you.
- You also just teleported in.
- Yeah, and Biz is flying above?
- He's flying up above, yeah.
- Okay.
Can I attempt to flip
over this ghost in hopes
of getting closer to this power source?
- You can try to move
through them, they'll get
attack opportunities, unless
you take a disengage action.
- I'll take the attacks of opportunity.
- Rad,
You go ahead and take
12 points of damage, I'm gonna
need you to make a wisdom saving throw.
- God damn, okay there it was,
- Ah sh*t.
- 2.
- You go to do a daring leap,
one of them grabs you by the throat,
you are filled with cold
energy, and you see it says,
Actually if you kinda play a lot
of these games, they're pretty fun,
and you are filled with unending terror.
- Okay yeah.
- You can do nothing but run.
- I thought you got to
re-roll ones, and twos,
- No he rolled a three
but it was a minus one.
- I'm gonna need you to make
a charisma saving throw again.
- 11.
- Welcome player one, fight!
You see that one of the
young women, Antiope Jones
appears in front of you and says,
Haha, let's see what you
got, and starts dancing.
- What's happening, where am I?
- That's going to be Kristen.
- Alright I am going to run up
to this game, the glowing one.
- Cool, I'm gonna need you
to make a charisma saving throw.
- Yeah, and I get like
everything added to mine right?
- You're proficient, yes.
- You should bless some people.
- So yeah, your charisma saving throw
is bubbled in right there, it should be
plus six to charisma saving throw.
- Okay, cool.
15.
- You rush past it, where do you wanna go?
- To the game that's like f*cked up.
- This is the f*cked up game right here.
- Okay cool, then to that.
- Yup.
- Then I guess while I'm here,
I'm just gonna bless the
three of us that I can see,
so Adaine, Gorgug, and myself.
- Hell yeah.
- Okay, then I wanna check this game
and see if there's a way
I can enter it or play it
or try to get the girl out of there.
- Don't go in it!
- What is that, insight?
- Insight, yeah.
- 13.
- There looks like
there's a way to go in it,
you don't know how safe that would be,
so you can either try to go into it,
but you're not necessarily
sure how to interact
with it in a way, from the
outside, that would help.
- Okay, then I'm going to yell to Adaine
to get as close to us as she can.
- No I'm going, I'm running.
- Okay cause I can turn
undead, but I'm just gonna wait
until we're together
and then help all of us.
So I'm gonna get as close
to going to the next chunk,
like just be ready for us all
to go together so take a few more.
- Cool, you
get here and see that
there is a ghost just floating over here.
- Okay.
- That is going to be Adaine.
- I mean I run away didn't I?
- You're feared so,
- Aren't I full of fear?
- Oh yeah, you're full of fear,
cool, well the ghost that
hit you is on that side,
you know what, go ahead and roll a D20,
we'll say one through
10 you flee the arcade,
11 through 20 you flee in
the opposite direction.
- I'm gonna use my 15 divination roll
to run towards my friends.
- Hell yeah, do you take a disengage?
- Hell yeah I take a disengage.
- One, two, three, four, five, six.
Here you are with Gorgug.
- Can you do a dash action?
- But I'm still, I'm still afraid right?
- Still terrified, yes,
at the end of your turn you can roll
another saving throw to see
if you stop being afraid.
- Okay,
- What are you doing?
- I mean I just, I guess, ready an action?
I mean I'm full of fear, I
don't know what I can do?
- Well you disengaged,
you ran, and now you can
roll a saving throw to try and
stop that fear affecting you.
- Great, then I'll just do that.
Seven.
- You are still f*cking terrified.
- sh*t.
- That is now going to be Fig's turn.
Fig, you've got this crazy
f*cking spell on you.
I'm gonna need,
- Yeah so what does that mean?
- I'm gonna need you to roll a D10,
for me and tell me what you roll.
- Eight.
- The creature uses its
action to make a melee attack
against a randomly determined
creature within its reach,
if there's no creature within its reach,
creature does nothing with its turn.
You just have to wildly
swing at that ghost.
- Okay.
- With an attack.
- Nine.
- Not that any of your
friends can see you anymore,
but Fig is just in this
room, her eyes fully dilated,
swinging her bass guitar
madly as Biz goes,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone's
having a good time.
- Do I get to like do anything
to snap myself out of this?
- You may make another
wisdom saving throw.
- Okay,
No.
- You are still tripping ba*ls.
You see that Biz quickly
types something in on the base
of the power pillar again, and you hear
Danielle downloaded.
That is going to go back to
Biz at the top of the order.
You see that Biz stays near
the device, casts a spell,
whoom, Fig, you kinda see
out of the corner of you eye
in all the hallucination,
that there appear to be
many more of Biz than there were before.
- There was already so many.
- That is now going to be,
we're going back to Riz,
you may roll again for your fear.
Or that's going to happen at
the end of your turn, sorry.
- Great.
- Cool, we'll be seeing a lot
of the box of doom tonight.
- Oh hush up.
- In Penny Luckstone's video
game we find Riz Gukgak.
Riz you see that Penny's
streaking down a tunnel
collecting as many coins as possible,
what are you going to do?
- Follow Penny I guess?
- You see that Penny's
coin total is racking up,
yours is at zero.
- I start collecting coins?
- I'm going to need you to make
an opposed investigate check.
- Okay.
- The game gets plus five,
what do you get to do in this game?
- Plus eight.
- You need to beat this game.
- I got a 17.
- You take a moments hesitation,
you feel this intense fear all around you,
just like
Penny, ding, a hundred coins.
Sorry better luck next time.
Fig through the corner of
you eye, you see a palimpsest
in the device, with Riz's face inside.
- Okay, explain to me which device,
where am I seeing it exactly?
Am I seeing it in this device?
- You're seeing it in this,
one of these pillars here.
There is a palimpsest that
glows with Riz's energy.
- So this is the source?
- That's the source right there.
- The power source, is this
magical or non-magical?
- Extremely magical.
- m*therf*cker.
What about these pillars,
are they magical?
Pretty basic pillars, just
made of glass and metal?
- No, all extremely magical.
- Okay.
- That is now going to be Gorgug's turn.
- I'm going to call my
parent's on my crystal.
- Okay, if you want that to
be your action, go for it.
- f*ck,
- It's actually not a bad idea.
- I have Spirit Guardians and
I could possibly protect us,
we have this one little narrow spot.
- Sure, I'm just trying
to close that distance.
So I'm gonna call my mom.
- Cool, that's your
action, do you wanna take
a movement that round as well?
- Yes, I wanna take a move
as far forward as I can.
- Cool.
I'm gonna need you to make
a charisma saving throw.
- Oh god,
- I got this,
12.
- Well add your charisma modifier.
- I have zero charisma.
- You pick up the phone
Hello,
- I don't like this at all.
- Oh that's a bad one.
- Wow, absolutely beautiful model, but.
- Really great work, really great work
- Really great work,
but devastating effects.
Absolutely furious, that's
very cool, but I'm so mad.
That's honestly super cool.
- Hello?
- A bunch of little gnomes
start appearing everywhere.
Hi, you wanna whack one of us?
- Yes.
Can I use a frenzy or anything?
- You got your action for your phone,
that's gonna have to
happen on your next turn.
- Alright.
At least it's one I
think I will be good at.
- That is now going to be ghosts.
I'm going to need Fig to make
two wisdom saving throws.
- Two.
- Aren't I already f*cked?
- Yes.
- Okay.
That's gonna be an 11.
A nat 20 baby!
- Rad, one of the ghosts
attempts to fly in your mouth,
you successfully stop that ghost.
- b*tch I save this for Dr. Asha.
- Wait, let me give it a shot.
And the second one leaps into your body.
- f*ck.
- My nat 20 doesn't just make
my throat push him back out,
cause I'm so powerful?
Okay, yeah of course.
- Rad,
- So what does that mean, he's inside me?
- You see this ghost,
goes, one, two, three,
appears here.
- Goddammit I'm so f*cking hijacked.
- f*ck, I'm f*cked.
- That's now.
- Oh that guy had to pass
the corn totem right?
- They've both been hit by it already.
- Oh, okay, cool.
- They're gonna take some swings now.
Adaine, you take first,
13, 14 points of damage.
and then you take next,
19 points of damage.
- Jesus, 31 minus 19 is,
okay I have 12 hit points.
- That is now going to be Fabian.
Bringing back out the
box of doom, yet again.
Fabian, Antiope Jones
looks at you and says,
Alright player, let's
see what your skills are,
time to dance.
You see that a series
of dance moves begins
to come streaming at you.
- Oh dammit, I thought
this was a fighting game.
- Wait, but you're
dexterous you know,
like you're kinda a pretty boy.
- I'm going to need you to,
this game gets a plus five,
to its acrobatics, so I'm gonna need
you to roll acrobatics here.
- Alright.
I'm plus eight.
- You alright
love those moves, great job,
wow, wow, wow, pretty cool.
Fabian, wooo, you appear
outside of the game.
- And I'm still terrified.
- And immediately have to
make a wisdom saving throw.
- Immediately you have to keep running,
one, two, three, four, five, six,
you're still fleeing as fast as you can.
You hear voice go, Antiope downloaded.
- Do I get to make a
wisdom saving throw or,
- Did it say Riz downloaded?
- It did not say Riz downloaded, weirdly.
You make your movement, you get
another wisdom saving throw.
- Thank god.
- Do you have a spell that gives
us advantage on wisdom saving throws?
- sh*t, if we could
all get within 30 feet,
I could counter charm us,
- But you're so far away
- You're so f*cking far away.
Also I'm under the
influence of two ghosts.
- I have another divination roll
but I keep on being like they
won't f*ck this one, oh sh*t.
- That is now going to be, that's Fabian,
it's gonna be Kristen.
- Okay,
- Help.
- Yeah you see Adaine
surrounded by ghosts over there.
- That's the one the gives
people wisdom saving,
you might want to do it on Fabian?
- Yeah do it on Fabian.
- Is it,
- Choose any number
- Choose any number of
creatures within range.
- Oh that might be, you
could also do it to Adaine.
- To everyone, is there,
like what is within range?
- It's 30 feet.
- Oh okay,
- It doesn't say what kind of,
Choose any number of
creatures within range.
For the duration each
target has advantage.
So is just 30 feet around here?
- Every creature is covered
by 30 feet right now.
- Okay cool, then I
will give both of them,
I'll cast Beacon of Hope.
- Which gives us advantage
on wisdom saving throws?
- Yeah advantage.
- Do I get it in the game?
- Inside the game?
- Oh, make a, go ahead and make
a knowledge religion roll for me.
- Oh okay, I have a definite,
- And I think you have advantage on that,
cause of your book right?
Go ahead and beat a DC15 on
a knowledge religion for me.
- You have three.
- Okay, 13
- And you have advantage.
- You have advantage so roll again.
- Oh cool.
- 13's a better one.
- 13, unfortunately you cannot get
Gorgug while he's in the game.
But, you can get those guys
with their wisdom saving throws.
Do you take a movement
this round as well or no?
- I run here.
- Cool, gotcha, great, great, great.
- So that they're all in my thing.
- Rad, and Gorgug's in
that game over there.
I'm going to need Adaine to take her turn.
- I'm afraid and I'm also trapped,
so can I cast invisibility on myself?
- To help you get out of there?
- Just because I'm like,
I'm afraid, I can't move.
- Sure, go.
- This is a thing I can do that will
- Help me get out of there.
- Go ahead and make an arcana check.
Call it a DC 15 for you
to be good enough at magic
that feels intuitive for you to do.
- Great.
Nope.
- You just gotta run.
- Wow, imagine if we ever f*cking rolled.
- I think you can go through Kristen.
- Yeah can I use Kristen as a,
- You can fully disengage.
- Oh yeah I'll fully disengage
and run towards Fabian, I guess.
- Yeah, one, two, three, four, five, six
- You guys are gonna run into each other
scared, running the opposite way.
- Are you terrified?
- And then I will do my wisdom
saving throw with advantage.
- You get a, yeah cool.
- 21.
- Yes, you are no longer afraid.
You feel hope filling your body.
You realize Kristen's here.
These dead things can't stop you.
Kristen's died, she's seen
the Golden Corny Gates,
there's nothing that's
gonna harm you here.
That's now going to be Fig.
Fig is currently possessed.
- Possessed and
enchanted and charmed.
- One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven,
eight, nine, 10, 11, 12.
- You're possessed you're
going to attack us?
- Just know it's not me.
- I don't know that.
- I don't know that.
- Fig, I'm terrified, I just got out of a
video game that made me dance.
Guys, I was really hoping
it was a fighting game.
I was like I got this.
- Emily, could you say this in
- I'm Fig.
- Sorry Fig, could you say this in
your most threatening voice possible?
- Wow, lot of strong
feelings to process here.
- Are you talking to me?
- I don't know am I?
- Yes you are specifically
threatening Fabian with that.
- I'm sorry that was a threat?
I mean I'm terrified right now
but that is honestly calming.
- That's Fig's turn.
- Am I also still seeing Biz's dancing?
- You are no longer seeing Biz's dancing.
- Well that's a nice change.
- You are seeing your body,
you can feel a ghost in your
body, holding onto your heart
and squishing it with its thumbs.
Going oh wow look at this
you can make her do moves!
- There's a creep inside you.
- This is not right.
- I have hold person
that I can cast on you.
- You guys hear do do do do do,
Sam downloaded.
And that's going to be.
- So I don't do any kind of saving throw?
- Nope, you are fully
possessed by this thing.
- What was the one before Sam?
We have Katia, Danielle,
- Danielle, Antiope, and Sam.
- f*ck.
- Dude they're downloading it to send
I guarantee you they're downloading it
to send to someone more sinister.
I think that this little mother f*ck
put them on the little
crystal so he could feel like
he controlled them as part of a deal
to send them to someone else.
- Yeah we have to stop it before
they download all of them.
How many girls were there total?
- I think it's just me and Penny left.
- You guys hear Biz casting
a spell in the other room.
- sh*t.
- That is now going to be, unfortunately,
Riz you feel yourself
trapped in this crystal.
You can take actions while you're in here,
but it's an infinite recurring fractal
of crystalline space
that you are trapped in.
- Cool.
- Dude, piss in it.
- I guess I'll do an investigate check,
but I have a feeling it's going to be, 16.
- You can feel energy
moving outside the crystal
and you can hear voices.
You hear a voice of Ostentatia
yelling out.
- Someone help!
- You hear voice of Zelda
yelling out.
- I'm trapped.
- And you hear Penny yelling out
- Hello, I'm over here!
- You feel a hand pressing
up against the glass,
and you hear Penny's voice saying,
Riz, Riz is that you?
- That's me, I think we're f*cked.
- She says, that's terrible to hear.
- Yeah, it's good to see
you though, I did a bad job,
but my friends might save us.
Do you have any clue
how to get out of here?
Clearly you don't.
- Clearly I don't, I don't mean to be mean
but for sure no.
- Yeah no that's a stupid question, sorry,
I just f*cked up, I f*cked
up this whole g*dd*mn fight.
- Gorgug, that is going to be you.
- Okay,
- Bringing out the box of doom once more.
It's Whack-a-Gnome time!
Gorgug, this thing gets
a plus five to its roll,
you're rolling with advantage and bless.
- Plus seven.
- I'll go ahead and
roll what you need to beat.
You need to beat, a 12.
- Okay, I feel good about this,
I have advantage so,
yeah, 18.
Plus my actual strength, so 25.
- In the video game woop, woop, woop,
little gnomes are popping up,
hey there bud, hey kiddo,
hey bud, hey kiddo,
- You're not my bud!
- Wham, wham, you guys see
that this whole machine
like rattles from side to side,
and bam,
Gorgug appears.
- I like to think that
Gorgug just goes like blah
and pops back out of it.
- We're gonna pass that,
let me grab that from you.
Is my die- great.
- One of those is mine.
- That is now going to,
- My turn.
- Yes, you can move this
turn as well actually.
- Okay, I'm just gonna start sprinting
my full movement.
- Full movement cool, that's eight.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
you have to end your turn
here, or here because
you can't end your turn on Fabian's space.
- I'll stand in front of Fabian.
- Excuse me I'm terrified.
- That is going to be,
our ghostly friends.
Beginning of their turn they have to roll,
it's a wisdom saving throw yes?
- Wisdom saving in 16.
- I hope they get so f*cked.
- Three of them.
- They all fail.
- Yeah b*tches take it.
- Alright b*tches, yeah an
eight, a seven, and a five.
So that is 20.
- Jesus Christ.
- Each and a bunch of them already took 20
from my corn p*nis.
- That's still there.
- Your army of philosophers
comes to these nerd ghosts.
One of them says, actually all of us are
pretty interested in
philosophy as well, we-
You see this sandaled,
extremely muscular bearded,
like toga wearing guy says,
Philosophy is lived, do you
live it or merely read of it?
They all go well mostly we read of it.
- Bwah, they are all shredded apart by
this one philosopher,
f*cking decking all of them,
looking extremely injured.
Kristen f*cking up these ghosts.
- Yeah girl, go an get it.
- Hell yeah.
- Is what I would say
if I wasn't possessed.
- But instead you're
like this is no secret.
- A lot of feelings to process here.
- Gonna turn undead on her and
make her throw up that ghost
- Yeah.
- That is going to be.
- You're going to try
and double possess me?
- That is, they've all
been terribly injured,
see, bum bum bum,
- They can move wherever they want?
- Hit me baby, hit me.
- They get to boom fly through walls.
- I'm immune to fear right?
- Oh sh*t mindless rage.
- Yeah baby, mindless rage.
- I am too mad to be scared.
- One of them hits you for 11, 14, 17
points of damage, not halved,
it's like huff, withering you from inside.
And then 10, another 13 on top of that.
- So 30.
- 30.
But there's no chance for
the fear to take hold.
There's no purchase, you
are too flipping out,
to have any kind of
fear effect work on you.
- I'm at 88.
- I'm gonna need Kristen to
make a wisdom saving throw.
- Cool so I get my plus
five to whatever I roll?
- Yup.
- Or plus six.
- 19, yeah.
- You see that one of the ghosts seeking
to flee the army of
philosophers around you,
attempts to leap into
your mouth and it's like,
Aw c'mon, let me hang
out for a little while.
And rushes forward.
That is, but you rebuff
it, the light glows.
It finds no purchase there.
- Does it, okay nevermind.
- That is going to be, that's
the ghosts, Fabian your turn.
- And I'm still trying
to, so how does this work?
- You're gonna rush past these ghosts,
actually make a,
go ahead and roll a D20
to see if you try to rush
past these ghosts, or see ghosts
and turn the other direction.
- Great.
- Ga-ga-ga-ga ghost!
- One through 10 you
try to go through them,
11 through 20 you go back the other way.
- Very much I believe I can
pass these ghosts no problem,
- Or you were just so scared of me
that you're just running.
- I think it's the ghosts.
- All three ghosts are
gonna get attacks on you.
- Are you still feared if
you get your a*s kicked,
do we get hit?
- Yes you are still,
- That follows.
- You are gonna go ahead
and take, first 12, 16, 19,
you take 22 points of damage from one.
And you take 18 from another,
- A full 40.
- As you're just running,
come on hang out dude,
it's fun here, hang out in the arcade.
- Can I call to the hangmen
to meet me at the arcade?
- You absolutely may.
Master, I'm on my way.
Go ahead and roll your wisdom.
- Okay, here we go,
with advantage, come on.
11.
- You are still running my man.
That is going to be Kristen that's you.
- Right so for Channel
Divinity it's up to 30?
- Up to 30 feet yeah.
- So how far is Fig from where?
- So it's one, two,
three, four, five, six.
You could make it within
range of her right now.
- Okay cool, then I'm going to run.
- He's gonna get an attack
on you, which he misses.
- Cool, then I run here and I turn undead,
so will that like get
the demon out of Fig?
- You feel like there's a
good chance that it will.
- I do yeah, I do destroy undead.
- Rad as hell.
These ghosts are too
powerful to be destroyed,
but they may be turned, which means
they will attempt to flee.
The DC on that is 16, they're
getting a plus one here.
You see that these two
ghosts turn to look at you,
what do you say to these ghosts as
you're starting to turn them?
- I say, my friendship burns bright!
- You see they all go,
oh we don't know anything about friends!
And begin to flee into these things.
Fig you vomit a full ghost.
- And also a little bit
of a salami sandwich.
- They're too strong
to be destroyed by my,
- Too strong to be destroyed,
but they are compelled to flee.
- Cool.
- That is going to be,
that was an incredible turn from Kristen,
Adaine, that's gonna be you.
- Well if they're afraid,
- They will not take their
reaction to attack you.
- So they won't get opportunity attack?
- Will not get opportunity attacks.
- But there is one that you
can't see, that's right here,
I yelled, and yelled.
- Yeah, how high are the ceilings here?
If I fly, will any of them get an
attack of opportunity on me?
- They're partially hovering as well,
they're like flying as well.
- How you doing hit points wise?
- I got 78.
- Great so.
- I got 75 so take care of yourself.
- Oh yeah you should be pretty hurt right?
- I'm pretty hurt yeah.
- You've got 12.
- But I can get past this woman without
having her have an attack
of opportunity on me right?
- You can go around her yes.
- So I'm going to cast fly on myself.
- Cool.
- Maybe very stupid I don't know,
and I'm going to take a
full movement to get as far,
as close to Biz as I can.
- That's 60, so that's 12.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
eight nine, 10, 11, 12.
- And it's actually fly I
have 60 movement so it's 120.
- Cause you used the action to cast it.
- I did, okay.
- I'm gonna need you to make
a charisma saving throw.
- Goddammit.
- But you have advantage right?
- Not on charisma, just on
the wisdom saving throws.
- You have bless.
- I'm gonna use my 17 divination roll.
- Yeah I think that's great.
- Against that charisma check.
- Boom, you ignore that
game calling out to you,
your eyes glow white with the power
of prophecy and divination,
vroom you continue flying.
- Is it good to get into the game?
- No.
- Okay, I am just wondering.
- When he won, and I won we just got out,
that was all that happened.
- Yeah, and I'm just out.
- Alright Fig, that's gonna be your turn.
- Okay, so I'm within 30
feet of both Adaine and
Kristen Applebees?
- And Gorgug.
- And Gorgug, but he doesn't need it.
Okay, then gonna real
quick tune my bass guitar,
seems like an inappropriate time,
but I promise it'll pay off,
and then I start playing,
and I counter charm, me, and
Kristen Applebees, and Adaine.
- With this sick f*cking
bass line, that's just
on a tasty walk, who could be afraid?
- Tasty walk?
- A tasty walk dude.
You see all the philosophers
surrounding Kristen go like,
Verily, yes, yes.
- I got a verily!
- Very funky young madam, funky indeed.
- Can I also,
- But what does it mean to be funky?
- We're all smoking weed.
- Oh that's a conversation
I'd love to continue.
While I'm playing though,
can I walk backwards?
Just to move closer to Adaine?
- Just f*cking moon walk, yes you may
- Can I take my entire walk backward?
- You can stop here.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna need you to make
a charisma saving throw.
- But now I got advantage
right, no not yet.
- No, not yet.
- What does that mean?
- Oh so maybe I shouldn't move at all?
Or would I have to make it no matter what?
- You would have to,
I mean it's up to you.
- If I stayed where I was
was I still gonna have to?
- No you were not, if you
stayed where you were.
- Okay, well, okay, charisma saving throw,
oh okay that's better.
Yeah 24!
- Oh you're fine.
- f*ck yeah.
- This is nerd sh*t, you
don't want to play a f*cking
video game, you're
playing a sick bass solo.
It's gonna be, back to
the top of the order.
You here, doov doov doov,
Ostentatia downloaded.
That is going to be back
at the top of the order.
You see, Biz is that, flies out here.
Hold on one second.
I'm going to need Fig and Adaine
to make dexterity saving throws.
- That we don't get
advantage though right?
That's not being charmed or frightened?
- Nope.
- 16, 17, 18.
- 14.
- 18 and 14 okay.
- Oh my God so many dice.
I mean I have 12 hit
points left so I'm f*cked.
- No but you got 17?
- But she might get half damage.
- If it's half damage I'm still f*cked.
- Biz sucks.
- Biz f*cking sucks.
- I guess he was right
all along though, right?
- That he sucks?
- You take 39 points of damage,
you take 18 points of damage.
- I'm down.
- Sorry, 38 is
- I mean it makes no difference I'm down.
- You see he goes and says,
Well two lovely ladies,
woop, pew, pew, pew
and rays of color and
crackling electricity come from
all the games and badly damage you all.
What is Fig at?
- Fig is at 39,
20,
26.
I'm super bad at math.
- I'm also going to need
Fig to make an arcana check.
- Oh good,
13.
- Cool, you see it is now going to,
- Wait oh wait, he just hit me!
Can I use my reaction, Hellish Rebuke?
- You point your finger at
the creature that damaged you,
it is momentarily surrounded
by hellish flames,
Creature must make a
dexterity save or it takes
two D10 fire damage on failed saves.
- Freakin hell yeah.
- It's a reaction.
- Yeah you absolutely may.
He's gonna make a dexterity save.
He fails.
- Yeah b*tch.
- Believe it or not, Biz, not dexterous.
- Okay, so then it's two D10?
- AV club guy, not dexterous.
- Six, plus 10, 16.
- Jesus Christ.
- Hell yeah.
- So you hit a f*cking
tasty lick on that bass,
and he is engulfed in flame.
Wow, I just tried to make a joke, God.
- You're so f*cked,
You're so f*cked, we have you now.
- That is going to be Riz,
back in the palimpsest,
you hear Penny say,
it's getting quieter out
here, I don't blame you,
thank you so much for trying.
- We're still gonna get out.
Have you seen where any of these girls
have gone when they're downloaded?
- I don't know, I've been
stuck in the palimpsest,
I know,
I think something really
bad's gonna happen,
worse than you think,
I'm so sorry Riz, I'm so sorry.
- It's not your fault.
- That's going to be,
- Can I investigate and see if I see where
people are, like look
into the other palimpsests
and see if I can see
where people are going?
- Make another investigation check.
- A nat 20.
- A nat 20?
- You furiously,
and you take
you take seven points of damage as you
furiously dig through the
cracks of the palimpsest.
Penny's sad voice has lit
some kind of fire in you.
And it's literally like lacerating you as
you're crawling through the crystal.
You dig through and see a channel,
going back to the AV room at
the Aguefort Adventuring Academy.
- Mother f*ck.
- What an insane roll.
But you know that that's
where they're headed,
that's where they're going.
- Can I try to lead people,
I wanna try to like overload their servers
cause I hear them being downloaded
- Go ahead and make an arcana
check off of that nat 20.
- Cool.
18.
- 18, you guys hear a
pop in the other room
and Biz looks and says,
Oh what the f*ck, and flies towards it
as something overloads
in the f*cking server.
- I'm just throwing
palimpsests down the thing
- That's going to now be, f*ck yeah.
That's gonna be Gorgug baby.
- Okay,
Are these guys, here?
- This one's turned.
- Turned, so I can just
like move past that person?
I'm going to take my full movement,
and I'm going to put my headphones on
and crank some music
as I run past the game.
Hopefully, it keeps me from hearing it.
Would that keep me from hearing it?
- Keep you from hearing?
- The game, the call of the game.
- Oh the game, I'm gonna say
f*cking roll with advantage.
- Okay.
- So that's going to be.
- Wait but he's never
frightened or charmed right?
- That's a wisdom saving.
That's not charmed, right?
- It's charisma.
- Charism, so you can
roll a charisma save,
you roll with advantage, you
can add that bless to it.
- That's 17.
- You pass.
- Okay great.
- You should see if you crit.
- Yeah, just see if you crit.
- No.
- Cool, you've made an eight movement,
you can continue to
move here if you'd like,
but this is how far you
get based on that movement.
- He's running to the other room right?
- Yes.
- Okay, I'm gonna fully
run into that room.
- Alright, I'm going to need you
to make a dexterity saving throw.
- With advantage.
- With advantage, yes.
- Oh thank God.
- Okay, alright.
- The first one was a three.
- Yeah so 19.
- 19, Jesus.
You run through here and see that
Biz has set up some kind of trap.
You see pixelated versions of yourself,
leap out to grab you and you fully
jump with your music playing
and go perfectly horizontal
and corkscrew through the middle of them.
To land right in front of f*cking Biz.
- Sup nerd.
- And that's your action.
That is going to be the ghosts.
All these flee as fast as they can.
This one's gonna go,
one, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
she's gonna go eight here.
- Does Gorgug have an attack
of opportunity on him?
- No cause it's coming
straight towards him,
not leaving the area.
And that's gonna miss.
Right here, it's gonna be,
one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
Not enough to get to Gorgug this turn.
That is the ghost's round.
It is now going to be,
it is now going to be Fabian.
- So I keep running.
- Keep running
one, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12.
Give me another wisdom saving throw.
- Alright, 15.
- You get to the front
room, and calm down.
- Once you see the prizes.
- Yeah, maybe do a
perception on the prizes.
- Do a perception on the prizes.
- Yes, fantastic.
- Please get a nat 20 and we find out
that's where it's all been.
- So one.
It's not a nat one,
- Just a modified one.
- Modified one.
- It looks like they're prizes,
that could be an illusion.
Maybe there is not prizes.
- I got plans for my next turn.
I know that my friends are in trouble
over there but.
- That's going to be
Kristen that's your turn.
- Great, I sprint.
- Cool.
- How far can I get without
using my running as an action?
- You can get that far.
- You could probably healing word her.
- Oh yeah you
could, you could do there and
do a healing word or
you could be over here,
whatever you wanna do.
- Healing word, could I do Adaine and her?
- You could also dash and healing word,
cause healing word's a bonus action.
- Hell yeah it is, so
is mass healing word.
- That'd be dope.
- I will do.
- You could actually hit you,
I don't know how many you
could hit with healing word,
but you could do Fig,
Adaine, Gorgug, and yourself.
- Okay yeah, I'll do that.
Let's see I'm gonna cast that as a,
what is this fourth level.
Oh no, no, no sorry third level.
- Dope.
- And so that gives me a D4 plus
my spell casting ability modifier.
- And then plus your blessed healer thing,
so it's actually plus 10.
- Cool.
- It's plus 11 actually now.
- D4 plus 11?
- D4 plus 11.
- One so 12.
- And then you also get some
back from blessed healer, as well.
- Yeah, I'm at full health anyway so.
- 12 to Fig, Gorgug, Adaine, and Kristen,
Kristen gets a little bit extra.
- Thank you.
- I'm already at full,
haven't been touched.
- These ghosts present.
- I have not been touched!
- Let me stand up!
- Blessed be has helped me.
- I'm now going to need you to make a,
as you continue that, so you do that
like one, two, here, three, four,
did you make a charisma saving throw?
- Oh sure.
- But she gets advantage
because of my counter charm.
- I get advantage right?
- Yup.
- And bless.
- Oh no, this is not a charm effect.
So just go ahead and roll a regular
saving throw with that bless.
- Oh okay.
12, oh charisma is 15.
- You make it past, boom, boom.
You make it this far.
- Alright great.
- Is Adaine getting up?
- Oh yeah Adaine gets up,
Adaine this is your turn.
- Sick, well my fly spell is gone cause
it's a concentration spell.
I can see Biz from here right?
- Yes you absolutely can.
- Does he have spells
that he has cast on him?
Can I do an arcana check?
- There are four Bizs
standing in that space.
- Sick, I would like to cast
dispell magic on Mr. Biz.
- You reach your hand out and boom,
the other three Bliz doubles
disappear, and he goes,
Oh dag, what?
- Did you say "dag"?
- Yeah dag dude, you ever heard of a meme?
- A what?
- A meme, a meme, you know
like on the internet, a meme.
- Goddammit.
- A meme?
- You suck so hard.
Where there any other spells
on him, just that one?
- Looks like I'm rubber and your glue
and whatever you say bounces
off of me and sticks to you.
- Did you learn that from a book?
Did you read a book of insults,
and you were like I'm gonna learn that?
- From a meme.
- A what?
- That is going to be.
- Hot topic nerds hate AV club nerds.
- Fig, that's gonna be your turn.
- Okay,
I would like to, so
Gorgug I'm really sorry,
I think I might hurt you.
- It's fine, I'm at 90, I don't care.
- So I go, one, two, three, four, five,
and this is as far as I can go.
And then I wanna do.
- I'm gonna need you to make
a dexterity saving throw.
- Is this a charming or frightening thing?
- Nope, not a charming
or frightening thing.
- It's that trap that I got through.
- So counter charm was
garbage.
Can maybe I do what,
maybe, what if I am here,
do I not, where does the trap start?
- You would hit it, well
you haven't noticed it,
that was what your arcana check was for,
was to see the spell there.
- Oh, okay.
- So go ahead and make that
dexterity saving throw.
- 12.
- You take
13 points of damage,
whoom, as bunch of Figs leap
out from the arcade games
and restrain you in the spot.
- So I don't even get to do any actions?
- No, I'm afraid not.
- This battle has f*cked me.
- In that case do you wanna
be where you were already,
seeing all that stuff, one space forward,
it's not that different?
- Yeah yeah, if that's the case
I'd rather be f*cked one space further.
- You guys see,
Biz, goes ahead.
He's going to cast, one,
two, three, four, five.
I'm going to need Adaine,
Fig, Gorgug, and Kristen
to all make wisdom saving throws.
- We all have advantage.
- Is this charming?
- This is charm, so this is advantage
- He doesn't.
- But does my feral instinct
help at all right now, or no?
- You are immune to charm, your
mindless rage is helping you here.
- Oh okay.
- 16.
- Feral instinct
helps with initiative.
- I got a 20.
- I got a 24.
- So am I rolling on this?
- You don't even have to roll.
- Not nat 20 but.
- You see Biz, goes, you
could've been my friends,
but you chose the path of
pain, woop, woop, woop, woop.
He starts to shake his little tummy,
and you see that a bunch of just
spidery tendrils of color come out.
Be charmed by my dance,
be charmed by my dance.
- You look so stupid right now.
- It's cool, it looks cool!
- I take a video on my crystal.
- Don't spread that don't post that!
- You were recording him.
- He flies over here.
Gorgug you're gonna get an attack on him
as he attempts to leave.
- Great.
- Sick.
- f*ck you.
- f*cking ruin him.
- 24.
- That hits go ahead and roll damage.
- f*ck you.
That's a 15.
- Jesus, he's like adios my dear.
Wham,
Badly hurt, he rushes over to the thing,
and you hear,
a voice, and you hear Penny say,
I'm sorry.
Box of doom is coming in,
Riz on that incredible nat 20
is in the system man,
we're in, we're hacking in.
You're gonna roll an opposed arcana check.
- Oh with a plus five.
- You have a plus five yeah.
- Biz has a plus eight to this.
- Great.
- You got it man, you got it!
- You got it, you got it.
- Crit!
- Beat this bullshit pixie.
- You need to be wait, eight
to that, is gonna be 21.
16 or higher.
- You don't got it.
- You hear.
- You have it, it
just didn't show up that time.
- Yeah, that's true.
- You have it man.
Next time man.
- You hear a voice, you hear Biz go,
Oh sneaky little monkey.
And then you hear a voice say,
bye Riz, do do do do.
Penny downloaded.
- Mother f*ck.
- That is going to be
Riz, you're in the system,
running around.
- Oh goddammit,
- Pee in it, pee in it!
- I am going to try, so am
I out of my palimpsest or?
- You're deep in your palimpsest,
but you've allowed yourself to be injured
to the extent that you're affecting stuff
inside of the crystal technology.
- Okay,
is there any way that I can try to,
so I see that there are people
going to the AV club thing?
- Yup.
- I would like to,
try to put the bag of
holding over the wire thing,
so people go into my bag instead of the.
- Roll a slight of hand, because
what you're going is insane,
and you are a f*cking ghost.
That's gonna be a DC25
sleight of hand check.
- But you have good slight of hand!
- I literally can't do
that I have a plus four.
- You can roll and see
if you get a nat 20.
- Okay, don't worry.
- 14!
- You try to open it inside the thing.
You see as you attempt to open it,
the interior space of the
palimpsest starts to go like
wub wub wub and it's like
oop a holding technology
inside of a holding
technology, that's bad,
and close it.
That is going to be Gorgug.
- Are my parents still on the line?
- Yes.
- If you can hear me, what is
the quickest way to shut down
your power source it's an emergency?
- Well an emergency,
I would go to, the fuse
box is usually in the front
of the store, the arcade.
- Oh f*ck me.
f*ck me.
- Really?
- It's in the prize chest.
- Do you even see one?
- You could also just
probably turn it off.
- Okay, but if I can't get
there can I just smack it?
- Oh I wouldn't smack it.
- My friend's gonna die if I don't.
- Yeah, I guess, aim for the wires.
- I'm going to let them get attacks,
can I get there in time?
One, two, three, four, five.
- Oh yeah cause they can't do sh*t to you.
- And then slash the wires.
No, no kinda f*cked me up.
- But they can't charm
you and get in your mouth.
- Can't get in your mouth dude.
- Get in your mouth and play your heart.
- Get in your mouth.
- Charm you.
- Let me tell you something right now,
they can't get in your mouth.
- You take 19 points of damage.
As you rush past them.
- And I attack the wires.
- Hell yeah, go ahead
and start rolling your attacks.
- And I'm going to use, reckless attack,
so I have one attack advantage.
- Okay, awesome.
- Okay so,
Okay so that was, the first
one's nine plus eight, so 17.
- 17 does not hit.
- Oh.
- Doesn't hit the wires?
- Doesn't hit the
wires, or he doesn't hit them
in a way that deals damage to them.
- Okay, f*ck.
I'm gonna just do it again.
- Maybe just try to unplug it?
- I'm gonna tell you right now,
this thing has an AC of 19
and it has 20 hit points.
That's pretty common
for objects like this.
- AC of 19, so just have to get over 19?
- 19 or higher.
- Oh you can do that.
- Go ahead and roll damage.
- Okay.
Kay, that was six plus seven, that's
- 13 damage.
You hack into the wire, electricity
starts coming out of it.
- And I have a frenzy
so I'm gonna use that.
- Is Riz literally the next
person to get downloaded?
- I think so, I think so.
- So we don't try to
heal anyone this turn,
we just try to get, destroy this thing.
- That's only seven plus
eight, that's nothing.
- You've badly damaged it,
you've done a ton of damage,
it's shocking, electrocuting everywhere.
These ghosts rush you.
- f*ck.
- f*cking both miss, terribly.
That's going to be Fabian.
- But they get advantage on me.
- Oh they do get advantage.
That's an honest man.
- Nat 20?
- Did he just crit?
- They both crit?
They just both crit.
- Why did I do that?
- No!
- How many dice you picking up dude?
No put those dice down.
- No!
- That's the most dice I've ever seen.
- Oh my god, he can barely
fit them in his hand.
- Was that real?
- Yes.
- What did you just do?
- Lie next time dude!
- I can not lie.
- You take 48 points of damage.
- Yes he's still standing!
- And strong.
- You're so strong.
- Woo woo, you see both of these ghosts
reach their f*cking hands
and try to crush your heart,
Ha ha ha get a load of
this dude, what a freak?
Freak loser, squeezing your heart.
You see that your eyes, the
corners of them crinkle,
and a shock of your hair goes white.
As you almost aging in front of them.
You see the palimpsest
glows in front of you.
You see Riz burrowing into one,
another the last one, with Zelda in it.
Holds her hand out.
- Oh my god.
- That's going to be, Fabian, that's you.
- Can I ask the Hangman how far he is?
- Master, I am here!
- Can I see the fuse box?
- Make a perception check.
- I mean,
- For a thing you don't
know you're looking for.
- 15.
- You see a bunch of stuff in this room.
- Very cool.
- Perception check on the prize box.
- Yeah, that's where I should have
been doing a perception check.
So how far, can I get
with just a regular dash?
I mean I'm gonna action
surge and get as deep in
to all of this as I can.
- I'm gonna say that your
bike has a speed of 90.
- Okay.
- Which is equal to 18 squares.
It can take a move and a dash,
so that's,
36 squares let's count them out.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15,
16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21,
22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27,
28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36.
- Fantastic.
- Fabian,
I'm gonna need you to make
four charisma saving throws.
- Jesus Christ, okay.
- Do you have bless or anything?
- I don't, no,
- Really?
- I missed all of that because
I was running the other way.
- Do you wanna make them all
at the same time or individually?
- No I'll make them individually,
cause it's too scary to make them.
Okay so first one,
six.
- Six, so you,
cool, you vroom, this
very first one right here,
you and the Hangman get
boom, sucked right into it.
You hear, let's race!
- Great.
- You are deep in the video game.
- That was a really valiant effort.
- Thanks dude, I had a real
cool plan where I was gonna
throw that ninja sword
directly in the machine, but.
it was real nice to walk me all the way,
- I was gonna say!
- Like I got to do it,
- Yeah I remembered the
traps after I counted it out,
but that would've been
f*cking dope as hell.
- Dope as hell dude.
- That would've been super cool.
- That would've been so cool dude.
- Kristen that
is going to be your turn.
- I run straight in, I bet
I'm gonna have to make that.
- Yeah make that
dexterity saving throw.
- With bless?
- With bless.
- Do I have any advantage.
- Nope.
- Alright.
- f*ck yeah!
I have negative three on dexterity,
but I rolled an 18 with a one bless.
- Yup, you're through, yup.
- Okay and then I'm gonna dash forward,
and I'm gonna jump on Gorgug's back.
- Okay.
- And hug him really
tight, and that means like
my Guardians will be around
both of us for this next.
- Hell yeah.
- Are the Guardians gonna hit the wiring?
- Can you use your healing word?
- No I used my dash as the action, right?
- But is it a bonus action?
- Is that?
- Oh yeah, yeah, cool.
- You can use your
healing word if you want.
- And this isn't even mass healing word,
so this a D4 and I add a
D4 for each spell slot,
so I'll make it a three cause
I haven't done any of those.
Three D4s.
- Hell yeah.
Those two, yeah you move
through those ghosts.
(dice clattering
- A two, a two, and a four,
hell yeah, that's eight,
plus what do I add to this?
- 10 I think.
- 10, 18.
And I take some healing
but I don't need it
cause I'm still full
health cause God exists.
- I'm at 41 now.
- Okay.
- You can thank God.
Which God, I don't know yet.
- Adaine, it's gonna be your turn.
- I mean I gotta try
and make that dex throw.
- Yeah go for it.
- Gotta get in that room.
It's where the action is happening.
- What are you talking about?
The action's happening
in the very first trap,
in the very first room.
- Oh where you are?
- Yes.
- I made it.
- Hell yeah.
- 18.
- You leap through, recognizing the spell,
expertly dodging out of the way.
You are in the room.
- Do you have some sort of?
- Yeah
- Hit the wires!
- Yeah I think we need to
try to get these wires.
- Yes.
- Yeah can I do,
witch bolt on the wires?
- Yeah.
- I don't have any that will sever,
can I just use mage hand to
f*cking unplug the thing,
is it just in the wall?
- I'm gonna as you to make,
yeah you can use mage hand to try.
- Or can I at least make
an arcana check and see.
- Make a spell attack check, we'll call it
a DC20 spell attack check just to
yank the f*cking thing out.
- Okay so I got a plus 7.
- Well it's pretty low
right, on its health?
- Four HP or something?
- It's at like four.
- Yeah but I don't know
if any of my spells
will attack a wire.
- Do like an arcana check to see.
- Yeah can I do an arcana check to see
if any of my spells will attack a wire?
- You know what, I don't know
all your spells well enough.
- Okay,
- So you tell me what you're going to do.
- Ah sh*t.
- A spell attack would just hit right?
Yeah, like if you used
your fireball or something?
- There's also the possibility though,
if you're not severing, like
witch bolt might electrocute.
- Yeah if I'm not severing something,
I could just electrocute it.
Hang on a second.
If I use mage hand can I
pull both of the palimpsests
out of the thing, or
do I have to pick one?
- You have to pick one.
- Dah sh*t.
- I mean obviously right?
- I know,
Why is this so hard?
- Make the call, or I'm gonna
say panic attack sets on.
- Mage hand Riz!
- f*ck I okay, I use mage hand to pull Riz
out of the machine.
- Cool, that's just gonna be
a DC15 with your spell attack,
go ahead and roll.
- Eight plus seven, is 15.
- Woom, Riz's palimpsest comes sh**ting
out of the machine into your hand.
Wooo baby, Fig that's gonna be you,
you may make another
dexterity saving throw.
- Is that gonna be my whole f*cking turn?
- Hold on one second, just let me
see something here real quick.
- I failed it anyways.
- f*ck me.
- You take, 11 points of damage,
as your illusory doppelgangers
kick the sh*t out of you.
- Can I at least like do a spell
on my illusory doppelgangers?
- Kiss one of them!
- Okay, I kiss one, I kiss myself.
- You have 14 left.
- Oops.
Thanks for that.
- Okay, Riz is pulled out of the device,
you hear, do do do do, Zelda downloaded.
- f*ck.
- I'm sorry guys it's just an end game,
it's what I had to do.
- You did the right thing.
- Appreciate it.
- Does Biz start his turn by
taking damage from my Guardians?
- Oh he absolutely would.
He's gonna roll a saving
throw, he rolls a nat 20,
go ahead and roll.
- So it's halved?
- Halved, yup.
- b*tch, an eight, a seven, and a five.
- 20.
- So 10.
- You see that Biz looks
around at you and goes,
Game over, game over!
It looks like you guys are free to go.
You hear, you see one of
your Radiant Guardians goes,
Man is condemned to be free.
Whap, and Biz, woop hits the f*cking deck,
Bam, out.
- Really?
- Gone, toast, half damage.
- Does that mean that I'm no
longer restrained by myself?
- No longer restrained.
- Thank f*cking God.
- So was Zelda downloaded?
- Zelda was downloaded.
Bringing out the box of doom here.
Fabian, in your video
game, you hear let's race!
I'm gonna need you to
make an acrobatics check.
This is a plus five.
Go ahead and roll.
- Do he have advantage since
he's on a f*cking motorbike?
- Yeah we'll say he has advantage.
Alright you need to beat a nat 20!
- Imma go, you guys
don't need me here right?
I'm trapped in a video game.
- You guys see two other
palimpsests light up.
- Both of them, we gotta
f*cking hit these freaking.
- Wait did you even try?
- Can I try a nat 20?
- Actually that's true.
- He's gonna roll a nat 20.
- A nat 20 is insane.
- We'll go one at a time.
- One at a time?
- One of these will be a nat 20 right?
- Die number one.
- 10, that's a nat 10.
- That's half of a nat 20, all the way up
to a nat 20.
- What, what?
- Get this outta here, f*ck you, f*ck you!
- Suck my d*ck!
- It doesn't matter all the
girls are gone but yeah!
- What was that about those palimpsest?
- I feel like I'm on drugs.
- You explode out of the arcade.
Tear all the way around to the outside.
You see that every single
coin machine in the entire
arcade, ping ping ping ping ping,
you are showered in
gold coins all over you,
all over the arcade, spill forth.
- What do you say
to us when we see you?
- God,
- Where have you been?
- Where have you been?
- Guys, you know you guys were
all there for my dad's stuff,
and it's just been, it's getting to me,
but I swear there were a
bunch of ghosts out front,
that I confronted them
and dealt with them.
- Thank you so much that's
so f*cking cool dude.
- But like hey, we all have dad stuff.
- We do,
- Except for me I have two
dads, they're both great.
- I'm stuck in a
palimpsest right now right?
- That's correct.
- I can't even like speak to them right?
- In your pocket.
- Like Honey, I Shrunk the Kids style?
- Honey, I Shrunk the Kids style, yup.
- I can?
- Oh sorry,
you are fully stuck in the palimpsest.
You cannot interact with the people
outside of the palimpsest.
- What about
- How do you get him out?
- Do you have detect thoughts?
- I do, can I,
- Or message?
- Are we still fighting right now?
- No.
- The ghosts appear to be gone.
- These guys are gone?
- Oh yeah,
Ghosts disappear, and the
arcade just returns to normal.
- And Biz is just out?
f*ck that b*tch.
- Can I, can you.
- Wait is Biz's body there?
- Yeah, it's on the ground
- You should stabilize,
- I would like to k*ll Biz.
- No!
We should stabilize Biz
because we need to get Riz out!
- Let's k*ll him.
- I think we k*ll him.
- No!
- And I think I take
my hands on either ear,
and then burning hands his brain.
- No you cannot do that!
- I'm gonna physically
keep you from doing that.
- C'mon, let me at him, I
wanna burning hands his brain.
- We need him so we can
figure out what's going on.
We gotta get Riz, let's just
take Riz to my parents house.
- Okay, let's stabilize Biz,
and f*cking intimidate him
to get him to get Riz out
of this f*cking thing.
- I gotta use, I have whispers of terror.
- Yeah let's just stabilize him,
and then we'll intimidate him.
- And maybe have him use
what we have in front of us.
- If I have whispers of terror.
- But he could.
- We've never been able to get someone
out of a palimpsest.
- You didn't destroy the power source,
we can.
- We severed the cords.
Yeah we have to.
- f*cking fine, I'll stabilize him.
One, he gets one.
- You go over to head Biz, he's dead.
- Good.
- He's fully
- I f*cking piss on his body.
- I was rolling death saves over here
while you guys were talking, fully dead.
- Oh I know!
I'm going to steal his soul.
- I have revivify.
- Revivify, does that, does revivify,
do you have a third level spell slot left?
- I think I do,
yeah I have one left.
- Cool.
- Wait, let me just say this
real quick before we do this,
mantle of whispers, I get their memories,
for the time that I inhabit them.
- Only the memories that
enable you to like casually,
you don't get deep secrets
with mantle of whispers.
- Alright I guess revivify him then.
- Would she would be
able to like casually get
someone out of a
palimpsest, like just chill.
- Yeah very cas, sups cas.
- If you wanna revivify him you can.
- We gotta,
- Yeah.
- We can k*ll him again
it we really need to.
- We can k*ll him again,
but let's make sure
he's tied up and he can't speak again.
- Can I tie his wings together?
- Sure.
- And like maybe blindfold
him as well so he can't see?
- I kick him really hard in the nuts
and then I revivify him.
- I still have those handcuffs from
- Oh my God!
- Beating the f*cking.
- Where'd you get those?
- Nevermind.
- Literally his
wings are tied together.
- Where'd you get
handcuffs, you little freak?
- I mean they were-
- Do it revivify him, he's gonna die.
- Revivify pshhh.
- I wanna pants him, so
when he comes to life
his pants are at his ankles.
- What happened?
- You human equivalent to a snot ball.
- Oh my God you are a little snot ball.
Yeah he's handcuffed.
- Okay so I wanna try, I'll
just f*cking try to cast
suggestion on him.
- Sure.
- I'm gonna try to cast suggestion on him.
He has to do a wisdom saving throw,
and I wanna tell him to get
Riz out of the palimpsest,
or tell us how to get Riz
out of the palimpsest.
- You see he goes,
you think, you see.
He's got his little hands,
are his hands in front of him
or behind him when you cuff him?
- We can do in front.
- You see he goes, you
think I'm so stupid,
that I'm going to take this palimpsest,
I'm going to walk it over to this port,
put it into the port,
type on here,
Riz appears in the room,
and get Riz out of here,
you're f*cking, no!
- Wow you're stupid.
- I put my hands.
- Wait, wait, wait, grab her grab her.
I put my g*n to his head.
Those girls are going to the AV club,
what happens to them once they get there?
Five, four, three, two,
- I, I, I, please, please, please.
- sh**t a finger off, bam.
- The Ball, God.
- This is in no way!
- What happens, what happens?
- Okay,
- Where's the girls?
- Five, four, three, two, one.
- Bam, another finger off.
Where did the girls go?
- I get excited by the
counting and I help count.
- A, B, C, D.
- Stop everyone stop.
We're gonna go slower this time.
I'm gonna give you 20
full seconds to tell me,
and this time I'm gonna
blow your f*cking head off.
Did you just k*ll my friend?
What did you do?
- I burning hands his crotch.
- Guys we turned into real bullies.
- No he's the bully.
- He's a monster, I'm so mad at him.
- There are rules against this.
This is a w*r crime.
- What happens to them?
- This is a w*r crime.
- I'm about to cut your head off!
- What happens to Zelda and Penny?
- Okay, okay, the girls are downloaded,
into a body,
they're back in their bodies now okay,
- Their own bodies?
- Their own bodies.
- What?
- The palimpsest is for storing them,
beyond divination, okay,
if I were to have a morsel such
as yourself in a palimpsest
- Hard slap.
- Oh my God!
- Fully unconscious,
fully unconscious again.
- Wait a second, this
is a f*cking spank bank,
- He's making a f*cking spank
bank, is that what he's doing?
- No heal him, wake him up.
- I gotta use my healer
kit to bring him back.
- He get's eight from me, we
can hit him a few more times.
- I'm not a bad guy.
- You are an awful guy.
- Yes you are!
- You're an awful guy.
- Okay I'm just gonna walk
over here because I'm furious.
- What, okay they get
back in their bodies,
what happens then?
- Dude, girls never gave me a shot.
- So they get back in their
bodies, what happens now?
- Riz I'm telling you what happens.
Tell me if this is incorrect,
I'm intimidating him.
- I'm gonna cast detect thought
so I can hear him as she asks questions.
- Go ahead and give me an arcana check.
- I'm biting my staff.
- Tell me if this is correct.
You are basically downloading them
onto a computer, they go
back into their bodies,
but now you can do whatever
you want with them,
on some sort of computer.
- I got a 21 arcana check.
- A 21 arcana check?
You see the memory Biz
has of downloading these young women.
And there are memories
of him deciding that
this was a plan that he wanted to do,
that this was like his big evil plan.
That memory is false.
- Somebody changed it, your sister Aelwyn.
- f*cking Aelwyn again, Goddammit.
- This just got f*cking pinned on him.
- sh*t.
- And now we're all here.
- You suck you know that right.
- No but I rule dude.
- No you absolutely don't.
- Oh you're a virgin.
She detected you're a virgin huh.
- Okay, I am.
- She uses that spell to
target people that she can use.
- I have a girlfriend in the
dude fort and we've hooked up.
- Blow your g*dd*mn nose.
- I'm gonna, I feel
really bad he was a pawn,
so I take my hand and where I
originally did burning hands
and I do a healing word
- You touch his d*ck?
- Stop touching his crotch.
- No it's healing word
it's not touch, from afar.
- You see his d*ck glows for a second.
- I'm so sorry, I didn't
realize you were a f*cking pawn.
- I use my healer kit and just try
to sew his fingers back on.
- So sorry, I do a D6 plus four.
I heal him for eight while
trying to fix his fingers.
- We've been completely had by this.
- But he still sucks.
- You shot off two of
his fingers, The Ball.
you have to live with that.
- Can we like go as fast as we can,
can we go through this to get to.
- Hang on a second, Riz.
- Biz.
- I'm Riz.
- Biz, I'm sorry, it's very confusing.
I'm reading your mind right now.
- Okay.
- I want you to give me
permission to delve deeper,
to see if I can figure out
who did this to you, okay?
- Okay.
- Because you suck, but
they suck more, okay.
- Okay.
- Please don't think about anything
creepy while I'm doing it.
- Well now you've ruined that.
- Well f*ck.
- That's happening now.
- I just.
- I wasn't there, I've just been shot
and had my crotch burned
off and then healed,
and now you.
- How's your mom Biz, is your mom good?
Your grandma is she cool?
- Is your detect thoughts active.
- I may detect thoughts.
So detect thoughts,
surface they can't tell
for deeper things they can
tell, but he knows already.
- The intense sexual stuff
he was just thinking about,
and then you mentioning his mom,
all you see is him ridding his mom around
with a little cowboy hat on.
- Oh I was like what the f*ck.
- Oh my god.
- You keep mentioning,
you mention f*cked up sh*t
and then my mom, how was
I not going to synthesize.
- Do you know my sister Aelwyn?
- You go boom, and hit
a place in his memory
that's been sewn off.
- Okay what are the girls for?
- He doesn't know, he thinks
it's for some spank bank.
- What about Penelope
Everpedal, anything in there?
- You did deeper into his mind,
you see Penelope talking
to, he has a lot of
memories of speaking to Penelope.
- Why you speaking to
Penelope, she's cool?
- I'm cool too.
You delve into his mind,
finding these memories
that have been cut out all
over his mental imagery.
You are able to trace this spell back,
to the other day, before the Hudol party,
meaning that these
modifications to his memory
were recent, and as a result of fear that
somebody was getting close
to discovering whatever
this conspiracy was.
Johnny Spells' burner phone, pings.
- I take it out, I take it out.
Is it ringing or is it getting texts?
- It gets six messages.
- Okay, I'll look at them.
I turned the read
receipts off a while ago.
- You see a picture of
the Thistlespring tree.
The Abernant home,
the front door of Sklonda's apartment.
The front door of Gilear's apartment.
The Applebee's residence
and Seacaster Manor.
- Like pictures of?
- Like pictures of them.
- I say lol what.
- No!
- You see another text
appear, this is from
a number you don't recognize.
It's not Zayn's phone.
You see it says, think very carefully
about your next decisions.
And that's all for this
week on Fantasy High.
- They can burn my f*cking
house down, I don't give a sh*t.
- You hear choppers and the
parking lot is full of cops.
You're all under arrest for
the m*rder of Johnny Spells.
- We're coming, we are compliant in
whatever you are requesting.
- Guys, I always though
I had daddy issues,
but I'm starting to think
I have mommy issues.
- I would never let any man speak to me
the way I'm speaking to you right now.
Let's make some f*cking bad g*ng.
- Let's go!
- Do you wanna go to prom with me mom?
- Kiddo I was so afraid you'd ask.
- Can I cast detect thoughts on myself?
- Your phones start
pinging left and right.
- This is gonna be a nightmare.
- It couldn't have been any other way.
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01x14 - Arcade Ambush
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.