- Ah, gambling!
We find ourselves here,
at Shoeby's Casino.
I'm been having a real hard time.
- I know, sweetie, I know.
- You whip this little
thing out.
The terminator robot brain, this dossier,
you've got it locked in.
- Right.
I know that we just got the
three pieces of information,
I've got the dossier,
it's time to get out.
- Car-Go, you peel out.
You got two moochers in the back.
- I want to deescalate this situation,
and put this bug to sleep.
- This bug feels you
cast the spell, and bam!
- Agnes is out like a
light right now, baby.
- You scoop up Agnes, you're out the wall.
Vroom, you streak across
the yard, over to,
it's an old, discarded first aid kit.
- 19!
- Beep!
- Agnes, baby!
- Agnes is stabilized.
We were able to save her life,
and you did the right thing.
- Thank you, citizen.
I try to always do the right thing.
- Welcome one and all to
another exciting episode
of "Tiny Heist."
I'm your humble dungeon
master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me as always are our Tiny Thieves.
Say hello, Tiny Thieves!
- Hello, Tiny Thieves.
- Oh, boy.
We watch the sun rise over Thimble Lane,
and in the tiny old first
aid kid behind the dumpster,
a little hospital, Agnes
the fairy wakes up.
It's a new morning.
You see that your little
mouse doctor walks in.
"Hello, Miss Agnes, happy
to see that you're with us.
"How are you feeling?"
- Feeling like sh*t, man.
- "I can't blame you."
- I had a bug break my back.
- "Yes, that was a nightmare,
your trachea was collapsed
"for awhile there, but we
jammed a straw up in there."
- Like a Capri Sun.
- Could you say down
there instead of up there?
- "And it seemed to save your life,
"and so, that was huge for us."
- A real win.
- They're like, we've never successfully
pulled that one off.
- We were honestly guessing.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
- You see he says,
"When's the last time
that you saw a doctor?"
- Yeah, yeah, I've been recently.
- "Okay, because we were able to pull
"your medical sheets from a fae hospital
"closer to Dithering Woods
"that specialized in fairies.
"Taking a look at your sheet here,
"I had no idea what any of this was,
"and I had to chase down
the car that had the doctors
"that brought this here, and ask them
"what all this stuff
meant, and what they said
"was that you are,
"your expectancy is not extremely great.
"Is there any treatment
that you've been looking for
"that we can provide for you?
"Obviously, we are happy
to do whatever we can.
"We are just bad at this."
- He says, dead seriously.
- Brutally honest.
- "But we do want to help,
"and it would be incredible if we did."
- Yeah, well, I've been to doctors,
I've been told that I
only got two months left,
and I picked my own treatment,
and then Agnes opens up her fanny pack,
and takes out a cigarette—
and lights it, and she says,
"Why don't you be a doll
"and go get my leopard print leggings,
"'cause I'm getting the f*ck outta here."
- You see he goes,
"I don't remember
"if you're allowed to do that here.
"I'm gonna go get your pants."
And you see that he heads out of—
- She has no pants on?
- All she's got is scrubs.
Agnes, you grab your leopard skin pants,
you got your cigarette
you're smoking in a hospital,
you walk out.
In the waiting room, what,
Rick is waiting for Agnes
out in the waiting room?
- He is Rick Diggins, The Superior Man,
but his hair is off,
and if it's possible for a LEGO, sorry—
- Clicko.
- If it's possible for
a Clicko Man's outfit
that is painted on him to be ill-fitting,
he is now ill-fitting.
I think that all of
the magical superpowers
are very clearly like—
- Yeah.
- Gone, and you've got Rick Diggins,
in a dumb costume.
- Yeah, I think that the like,
you know, in the same where sometimes,
it's just like very
bright, and you're looking
at a piece of plastic,
you'll see all the grease
smudged on it, and it will, you know,
it's not, the colors aren't vibrant.
You're just kinda sitting
there, feeling and looking
like a piece of plastic.
- Mm-hmm.
- But Agnes, you walk out,
and you see the Supreme Man
slumped over in a corner, slumped as a guy
that can't bend his back can be.
- Just, just—
- My back.
- He's taken his legs off.
- Yeah, just gotta rest 'em.
- You see that one of the
doctors actually just walking out
with Agnes just looks
over at you, and goes,
"Mr. Diggins, would you like
us to take a look at you?"
- To determine what?
- "Well, you, I know that
you don't have bones.
"Do you have bones?
"Do you not have bones?"
- The concept is actually foreign to me.
- "All right—
- Oh, like the Pup Squad
chases, yeah, I used to
watch them on the little TV
in the Subaru, the kids
would love the Pup Squad,
and the one thing they
always love is bones,
they go crazy for those things.
I don't, I don't know.
- Like those bones like his dogs—
- I don't know what
they do, but at the end
of every adventure, they say,
"We did it again, Pup Squad!
"Bones for everybody!"
And then, they all get the bones.
I don't know, I do not
have any of these bones.
If you need any pups rewarded,
I am afraid you're out of luck.
- You see, next, he says,
"Well, you know, I don't know anything
"about what you said.
"Mr. Diggs, I have to say,
"to the degree that you have health,
"I'll help you take care of it."
- It's a hollow sentiment
and I appreciate it.
- You see, he looks and says,
"You know,
you can't save them all.
"You just can't save them all."
- Or even the majority, in
your case, I would assume.
- "This, we were, it
was a clean sweep here,
"until Miss Agnes came along, so—
- She kinda broke the streak, huh?
- "Let's hope the luck holds out,
"because it is sad to work here."
- They've got a sign that says,
Days Since Death: 0.
- Smiley face in the zero.
- Ah, he nods, you see he says,
"Well, come back to St. Owens anytime,
"and I hope that you
all, get where you need to go.
"If you know of anyone that's
teaching doctor classes,
"please forward their
information along to us,
"so that we can learn how to do the stuff
"that we do here."
- It's just the fact that you
call it doctor classes.
- Is a bad sign.
- It is.
Is a bad sign.
- Just wondering if anyone's running
a doctor workshop or if
there's a doctor seminar—
- A symposium, maybe?
- A racket?
- While I'm here, you don't
have any extra scrubs, do you,
Dr. Costume?
I guess I should say, Dr. Costume, huh?
- You see, he looks around and says,
"I can maybe go get some.
"We make ours out of napkins."
- You know what?
I think, we're fine,
I think we need to go.
You're sweet, though, thank you.
- I says, "All right, well let
me know if you need anything
"and do you have insurance?"
- No, just phone down to Shoeby's,
they'll take care of it.
- Okay, very good, because the cost
is a million billion dollars.
- Medicare for All, I
told you, it's M for All.
- You see—
- 'Cause you've just said,
they've all died before,
this is the first time they've
gotten to charge anybody.
Like, is that right, I don't know?
We have incurred a lot of costs here.
- All right.
- Where do Rick
and Agnes head to?
- Well, Agnes, Rick, I gotta thank you
for helping me back there.
- Any day.
- You really did me a solid.
- Yes, I didn't think through it, clearly.
I was initially just going to
escape and fly straight up.
That was the plan, huh?
But I got high on fairy dust,
and I saw an old friend
who convinced me otherwise,
so I guess it's a long way of
saying you're welcome, huh?
- Wonderful.
You guys head off.
Your meetup place that
you made with these guys
was The Lunch Pail back in Trash City.
You guys head to the dumpster.
Boomer, you are back in Number 4, my man.
You see Marty is back.
So within number 4,
there are steward homes
sorta throughout, little
manors and mansions.
There's probably 30 or 40
little families of stewards
living throughout the house.
Most stewards, while being
extremely well-to-do,
wealthy, very dismissive of the outside,
don't engage in the type of hyperviolence
that Felix and his organization do.
But Felix is a respected
businessman within the community.
The stewards inside know
him as someone to venerate
and give praise to.
You might have a room here.
Either you live in Trash
City and commute to work,
or you have a spot in the
house, whatever you would prefer,
but what is Boomer doing the morning after
the events of Shoeby's?
- He's running lines
from his one-bug show,
in anticipation of getting a
chance to, you know, put it on the boards,
as they say.
- Incredible.
- No one says that.
That's not—
- Nobody says that?
- We wouldn't say—
- No, these are literal boards
I mean, they're rehearsing
on boards, they're bugs.
- There's a fellow sort of like gangster,
one of Felix's guys with you named Pip.
Pip is just kind of like,
he's a small steward,
and he's going over it, he goes,
he's sort of with you going,
"Don't you see?
"The whole time I was in love with you.
"I've always been in love
with you, madly, deeply.
"It's a part of me that
I can't get rid of,
"but if you do this, you're betraying me.
"You're stabbing deepest
in the part of myself
"that's the most vul—
- Vulnerable.
- "Vulnerable, most vulnerable."
- I'm not buying it, Pip.
Listen, you need to come from
someplace inside that's real.
Come from something real.
Try it again, try it again.
- Do you, but I, 'cause
I just, I hate this.
So if you want, because,
do you need me to act
good, if I'm just reading
the other lines in the scene?
Can't I act bad?
- Well, it's act well.
No, you got potential.
- Are you serious?
- Oh, oh, wow.
I can't even make eye contact with you,
'cause the brilliance, are you kidding me?
You have never been trained
in the theatrical arts?
- No, I—
- Pip!
- I started out as a
loan shark in Trash City,
and then, I got this, wow, yeah.
- Listen, you have taken
this and made it your own.
You know, and I think
that is, you know, to your credit.
I mean, you're bringing
it up from a well—
- This is so mean.
- Of emotion.
- It doesn't serve any purpose.
That I can see.
- Doesn't it?
- You see?
- I'm just gonna—
- And we got in a huge fight last night.
Today, we're trying to
figure out the next plan,
and he's like, back to acting.
You see that Pip goes,
"'Cause here's the thing,
"is I was like, I don't know,
"I feel like there's music in me?
"Does that sound stupid?"
- Oh!
Listen, the music is coming
out in acting, out of you.
I mean, it's just coming
through your pores.
Let me tell you something.
You're gonna not believe
this, but I have been kicking
around an idea about a musical tribute.
To Felix.
You know, like take a historical figure,
and do a musical about them.
- Oh my God!
- And so, I thought,
who better than Felix,
and listen, if you got the music in you,
if you got the music in you—
- Would it be sung or rapped?
- I think it'd be a little bit of both.
- What is happening?
- You see he goes, "I'm gonna go tell Felix—
- Oh, no, no, no, don't
spoil the surprise yet.
If you wanna work on this
with me, we can collaborate.
- "Okay."
- It's, I mean, it's,
collaborate, four syllables.
Collaborate on this, and then,
we can maybe surprise Felix
with it, but I just think he would,
I don't think he would
miss an event like that.
I don't have that much musical training,
but if you've got the music in you,
if you've got the music
in you, we can do it.
We could put together a
little tribute for him.
Get some investors, get some angels.
- "I have a friend of mine who's a steward
"who lives underneath
a piano who knows a guy
"who's been on top of the piano."
- Wow!
- "So we could—
- A top of the piano guy?
- "Yeah, he's been on top of the piano.
- Like where the metronome is—
- "Yes, yes, yes."
- And the bust of Beethoven.
- "A little bust of
Beethoven on the piano."
- Oh, actually, it's a
huge bust of Beethoven.
- "So I don't know, maybe."
- Do you have a name,
does the guy have a name?
What's his name?
- "Well, my friend is
Steve, but he knows the guy.
"I mean, the guy's been
up there at least once."
- Can he do lunch?
Can he have a little—
- "So here's what I'm gonna do.
"I'm gonna reach out to him,
"I'm gonna go call him right now."
- How are you gonna call him?
- I'm gonna set it up.
What is happening?
- "I'm gonna go—
- Steve's friend, are you not watching?
- Oh, you see that Pip
heads out of your little,
sort of area in the guard barracks.
- Poor Brennan thought
he was doing a little bit
of nice table setting,
and all of a sudden,
it's a one-act play,
and I'm just so thrilled
for this to be directed
at somebody else besides us for once.
- Yes.
- Hey, we don't need to move
this story forward at all.
- How do you know we're not?
- We found some good sh*t right now.
- This is all gonna come
back, don't worry about it.
You see, as he leaves,
the door opens a crack,
and walking in with a tiny
little dollhouse basket
of Hershey Kiss chunks and candy
and good in the house
steward food, is Minetta,
the music box figurine.
She walks in, and goes,
"Hey, there, Boomer.
"Are you telling Pip to
write a musical with you?"
- Well, co-write, co-write.
It's just, listen.
I have a story in me
that's gotta come out,
and this is trying to come out,
and you know, I'm looking for people with,
you know, you have music in you.
- Here he goes, let's go f*cking—
- Dig deeper. Booking a show...
- All right, we're just gonna go.
You, you've got this, right?
- You see Minetta
looks at you and says—
- We can go to dinner early.
- Your f*cking cradle rock nonsense.
- He says, "If you wanna
sing a song, Boomer,
"why don't you sing about what Car-Go
"was doing alive last night?"
- Mm.
He was—
- Now make it about your musical.
- Don't you dare—
- No, don't you let him be director, Dad.
You bend this right back around to your—
- To your musical.
- Don't you let the story move along.
- You're the DM now.
Don't—
- I'm gonna have valet parking
at the theater and, no,
why would I know what he was doing alive?
You know, I don't book
the guy's travel plans.
- But you know Minetta likes him.
- This is a question I have.
What is known about Minetta in this world?
Like what, who—
- You know Minetta very well.
- Yeah.
- Like, since,
she came with the Littles
from their old house.
She's like a little music box figurine,
who, because when Dylan was
born, he was like a little kid,
after Max, well, Max was still little,
and then, Dylan was born,
and so, he kinda became
the kid in the house, but
she's been with the Littles
forever and ever and ever.
She's older than you are, even.
- Mm-hmm.
- But she's part of an
old antique music box,
and she can sorta hop down
off the little pedestal,
as long as the box is
open, and go and hang out.
- Is she a total babe?
- She is a smoke show.
- I knew it.
I knew it!
- Ooh, a little tutu.
A little leotard!
- But is she nice, is she
intelligent, is she strong-willed?
- She is nice and intelligent
and strong-willed.
- Okay.
I guess that's what's really intimidating.
- To me, not to me!
- You see Minetta comes back,
go ahead and make a
deception check for me,
if you'd be so kind.
- A six.
- Choke.
- How much, all right, let me ask you,
how much I wanna deceive her?
- You said you didn't know.
- Oh, wait, wait, wait, was she asking me
what he was doing at the casino?
- She asks what he was doing alive?
No, she asked—
- Oh, my bad.
My bad, okay.
- No, okay.
That's the, I assumed Boomer wanted—
- Oh, I thought you meant
from the first time we encountered him.
- No, no, no.
She's asking what Car-Go
was doing alive last night?
- Well, I don't think, all right, look,
you know, the boss told
me to toss him, right?
Toss him over the edge?
- Yeah.
- He's a good guy.
You know that.
- I know he's a good guy.
- So when I tossed him
down, I kinda aimed him
at a piece of flotsam and
jetsam that was floating
down the river, and he,
you know, he landed on it,
so he's okay, and I don't, you know,
I didn't wanna k*ll somebody.
- So you are like, you
are slammed, as Minetta,
like embraces you and
leaps up and hugs you.
- Aww.
- Aww.
- And—
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, I'm not a piece of meat, Minetta.
- You see, she laughs
and jumps down, and she's
like, "You're not my type.
"I like 'em a little more plasticky."
- Yeah.
- Ooh.
Go get it, girl.
- I'd like him to transform.
- You see that she looks and says,
"Idiot, what's he doing back?
"Why was he at Shoeby's?"
"He knows that Felix'll k*ll him, right?"
- Yeah.
He's got a bigger agenda.
He's got things on his mind.
Listen, I told you, like
you know, he's a good guy.
And you know, he loves that kid,
he loves that giant cr*cker-eating kid.
That, you know—
- cr*cker-eating might be
the weirdest damned insult
I've heard.
- Not cr*cker,
cr*cker-eating.
- Oh, oh,
that cr*cker—
- cr*cker eating.
He loves crackers.
- cr*cker-eating kid.
- He loves that Ritz-head kid.
- You see that she says—
- Oh my God.
- She looks and says, "We all love him.
"But there's things
"that some of us know
that Car-Go doesn't."
- About the six year old?
- He's got a dark past under there.
- You see she says, she says,
"Look, Boomer.
"The less I know, the better.
"Felix is very good at reading people,
"and unfortunately, if I wanna,
"everyone's safer, the more
I'm able to bend an ear
"on Felix's head."
- What?
- That's an insane expression.
- That is.
- Hear me out—
- No, no, no.
- Here's an ear for a taste.
- Bend an ear on his
head, you see, she says,
she says, "We all know that everyone here,
"both in the yard and
in the house, is safer
"if I'm at his side and able to temper
"some of his worst impulses,
"and if that means that
my life is what it is,
"then that's fine."
- Minetta!
- You see—
- You don't wanna do that to yourself.
- You see that she says—
- I love her.
- She says, "But you gotta keep
Car-Go away from the house.
"There's other kids out
there that can play with him.
"If he comes back here, he's a dead man."
- He doesn't want other kids.
He wants to be friends with—
- Dylan.
- Dylan.
- You see that she says,
"We don't always get what we want.
"Take care."
- I'll tell him,
but I don't think he's gonna listen.
- "All right, then tell
him hi from me, okay?"
- No, no, and listen, you
know what might help you
would be acting lessons.
- f*cking—
- She turns and walks straight out—
- She dances away.
- Have you ever thought
of being in a musical?
- Ay yi yi.
- She's a dancer.
- I am in a musical!
I live in a musical!
You see she leaves, and
you, you finish your shift,
and you're able to head out to
meet these guys at the diner.
We're back at The Lunch Pail.
The whole g*ng's assembled, survived.
You guys—
- Have we been
there overnight?
- Yeah, I really thought—
- I would say so, like—
- We took a rest from there.
- 'Cause I imagine that they're probably,
I mean, Car-Go doesn't really sleep?
- Yeah.
- I rest.
- He just like, yeah,
so I think they both slept—
- I've been meditating
with my eyes open, which is very upsetting
for everybody in here.
- Car-Go doesn't care for that,
but he is probably like, I
think it's one of those things
where he doesn't know
where they have been,
but he knows that where they
established to meet was there,
so like, going out looking for them
would be a waste of time.
- Yeah.
- So, probably, they've
been sitting there.
Meanwhile, probably just
thinking about the cipher
and what he knows compared
to what he has memorized.
- I curled in a little
ball in a booth and slept.
- Hell yeah, it was very cute.
- Oh, you guys.
Sleeping in a little diner booth,
you little thieves, little
heisters, you see that,
because you actually got the
names before you split out,
you're able to fully undo the cipher.
By the time you get there, you
have all the info you need.
You guys all arrive there, you
see Agnes and Rick walk in,
Boomer walks in, you
guys are all reunited.
- You're alive!
- I will say that,
even though he's known Boomer for awhile,
good news, the relief that Car-Go feels
when he sees that they're all there,
and still kicking and fine is supreme.
- I give everyone a hug.
- Car-Go doesn't go that,
he doesn't show the relief,
but he feels it.
- He feels it.
- He's not good at just,
'cause he has a plastic face.
- TI gives everyone a
big ol' hug, it's morning
in Trash City, people
are heading off to work,
busy honking outside, noisy.
It stinks in this dumpster.
But you guys are all back here.
You have the deciphered dossier.
This dossier is an itinerary of vehicles.
When the code is broken, basically,
those three prompts don't
relate to the actual information
in it, it was just things that
only Marty would know, right,
and it allows you to crack this code open,
and what the dossier contains
is several pieces of code
that change either, mostly change weekly.
There is some stuff that
changes daily in there,
but that's nothing actually
that's too significant.
But the big things do change weekly,
which means that you
only have, at this point,
four days left to execute this heist,
if you're gonna execute it.
- We'll only need three.
- The biggest piece of information in here
is this is a list that
Marty's supposed to oversee,
of vehicles that go to the private vault,
and it includes a location for that vault,
and immediately, you
realize why this vault
is unfindable and untrackable.
- It's, the vault—
- Is in the air vents
of the house's central air,
above Max's room, the older teenage kid.
They have some way to hit
the A/C in this place,
and just blast people out of the vents,
if they need to.
- Ooh.
- So you know, these
stewards have done it a way
to even tap into human
systems in the house.
That's where the vault is
located, is up in the vents
above Max's room.
This is an itinerary of
vehicles that travel there,
because even though the
vaults are highly secure,
they're not actually any use
if you just bury stuff there
and never access what's in them.
Otherwise, you can just destroy the thing
you wanted to keep in there, right?
So the point is for them
to be accessible to you,
so vehicles that come to the vault
are basically like trade
vehicles, like truck deliveries
and pickups from the other
houses on Thimble Lane.
There are other stewards
that live in other houses
other than number 4,
and it looks like Felix
is expanding a criminal network
through those other houses,
and he's got trucks coming
and going through the vents
up into this vault.
So there is a list of basically
license plate style IDs
for vehicles that are scheduled
to come for the rest of week
that are in this dossier.
So information that you have
here is the license numbers
of vehicles that are scheduled
to come to the house.
Do with that information
whatever you will,
but that's information you get.
The other thing you get in
here is there's a number
of codes, some of them will not be useful
by the time you're able to pull this off.
The one thing that I think
TI immediately recognizes
is a route administrative passcode
for some of the servers in Felix's vault.
So that is what's
contained in the dossier.
- Do we have reason to believe
that there's probably more
than just a roll of
quarters in this thing?
If other trucks are bringing stuff to—
- You have definite reason to assume that.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- So these other things that
might, that we are assuming
might be in there, do they
necessarily belong to Felix?
- They're certainly in his possession.
Whether he obtained them legally or—
- No, what I mean, it's not things
from the other steward families
and the other stewards.
- It's just his vault, right?
- It's just his vault,
that's correct.
- This isn't like a bank.
- We're not stealing—
- It's not a bank.
Well, and what you also basically see
is that it appears that
this vault might also
be Felix's personal dwelling place.
- All right.
- Oh!
- The location of said vault
is not in this dossier?
- It's in—
- Yeah, it's in it.
It's in the A/C vent above Max's room.
- Okay, but what, okay, okay.
So that won't change, but
the vehicle information
would change.
- Correct.
- Any description of the vehicles,
or just those numbers?
- There actually doesn't appear to be
any description of the vehicles—
- And the route administrator passcode
is not into the family's WiFi network—
- No, it doesn't appear—
- It's to his personal—
- His personal server.
- He has his own little server?
- Yeah.
- Damn.
- It's made out of paperclips.
- All right.
This is a lot of information, Brennan.
Give me a second.
- I got you.
- Okay.
- Is there anything else
in there that is important
for us to know?
- I would say that,
that's where the vault is.
Boomer, as a member of this organization,
you've never personally been to the vault,
but it's only because that hasn't been
any of your assignments.
It's not inconceivable that you,
you would have to, the issue is,
you've been unreliable,
'cause you've been focusing
on your acting career.
There are, if you were
a more diligent thug,
you could potentially get
put on a rotating shift.
People of your rank that have been around
as long as you have definitely get put
on guard duty at the vault.
- And this is towards
the end of summer, right?
This is the last week?
- Last week before school starts.
- That's gonna be pumping.
- Yeah.
- Mm.
- So here's what, I
have a question for you.
In this world, for us bitty folk,
for us little, little 'uns,
is there anything like
fairy magic or something
that's the equivalent of Walkie-Talkies
or cellphones or any way to communicate?
- I have sending stones.
- I was gonna say, she could
probably hook something up.
- Yeah, I have, what do I have?
Where the hell did it go?
- It's just sounding like
we're gonna have to split up
and coordinate at the same time,
and I just wanna work, factor
that into whatever the—
- Lily, if you wanna list
off what TI's, like resources
and magic items and stuff
are for the party, that—
- Well, why don't we, can we do it in—
- In character, yeah.
Absolutely.
- All right.
For, we're sort of in like,
a good news, good news,
very bad news situation.
Good news, all alive.
That is immediately a plus.
Good news, we got the dossier.
That is a plus.
Bad news, very bad news,
I got made and honestly,
at this point, I—
- You got made?
- Yeah, I got—
- What?
- I got reckon—
- You got made what?
- I know you're from a factory, but like,
wait, it's rude to address that.
We all got made in a manner.
Like I got made by my parent.
- By my parent.
- I got recognized.
- Oh my God!
- Okay?
- Oh, bad.
- Yeah.
- And Boomer, from what you've said,
it seems like you're still in the clear.
Agnes, I don't know why
they would suspect you.
Rick?
- Yeah.
- You're a better judge of that than I am.
Did you get out clean?
- Um, it was a little messy.
I think a few people
may have taken a look.
But—
- How did you get out?
What was your thing, what'd you do?
- We heard a bang, we
didn't know what happened.
- I got incredibly high,
and as I have always said,
drugs are often the answer, and—
- Okay, you don't have to
listen to Uncle Rick, kids.
- Stay in school, kids.
- Do you do your PSAs
that your character does
on the TV show?
- Yeah.
Stay in school, kids.
All right.
- That comes out of the voice box
that's inside you, like, no drugs—
- And knowing is half the battle.
- Drugs are for th*gs.
And how do you two feel?
Do you feel like you
might've gotten spotted?
- No.
- Nah.
- A fairy guard put me
to sleep, but that's it.
- But then, I made a pretty dank cloud,
and we got, remember, I was on you.
- Yeah, no.
- I did it on you.
- You slid on my face.
- Yeah.
- It was weird.
- We finally got to ride you.
- Okay, so.
Mm.
Don't care for that.
So let's, let us pool information.
At this point, we know
the location of the vault.
- Okay.
How do the air vents work?
How does that work?
- Do we know that?
- It has to be, no, no, no, I mean,
what's the thing about
the A/C having to be on,
so you can't get in—
- It's gotta be a units thing,
right?
- It's like a unit,
so effectively, what the deal
is, is if they put the A/C
on full blast, it's
like a defense mechanism
where you can't even approach the vault.
- You can't get in, I get it.
But they're safe inside, they—
- Correct, so also, during the day,
the A/C will be on 'cause
the humans will be around
with the A/C on.
- You can't get in.
- At night, when it gets
a little bit cooler,
it will probably be off
or on an auto setting.
- On a cycle—
- On like a cycle.
- Oh, like a timer, thank you.
- So it seems like—
- Okay.
- It would make sense to have TI focused
on whatever that mechanism
is, and the server.
- I can maybe signal jam it,
and I can stop it for awhile.
It can also, I have a
grappling hook and suction feet
that I could lend out,
someone could get up.
You think?
- Let me do some recon,
they ain't gonna see me.
- Yeah.
- I can turn into a ghost.
Watch.
I cast darkness again, I
can just meditate later,
and get those points—
- Someone else at the
diner goes.
- I just snap it off, oh.
This guy ripped one—
- What happened?
- This guy ripped some
exhausto here, ew, P-U.
- It does seem—
- But it's cool—
- I giggle,
I think it's funny.
- And there's an old
bug at the bar who goes,
"f*ck you, man, f*ck you, this guy."
- It wasn't me.
- This guy rips big beefers.
- Big centipede goes,
- First smeller's the feller.
- I hate you all so much.
- Naw, but for real, let me get up there.
I'll just suction, blurp,
blurp, blurp, blurp.
- And I can also detect, I can set alarms
to detect if people are coming and stuff.
- It seems to me that
then, you two on the server
and the A/C unit, you're
there both to scout ahead
and then, protect her,
should sh*t go down?
- She can protect herself, man.
She's got techno g*ns
and laser eyes and sh*t.
- Unless I am made to fall
asleep, I had nothing—
- So unless you fall, okay.
I'm still gonna keep you two together.
- Okay.
- Between the two of you—
- Aw.
- I think it'll be fine.
And then—
- All right.
- It seems like, then we need getting in,
and with these license plate numbers.
- Mm.
- It makes me wonder
if with a bit of a switch,
if I could get past security.
- You're so recognizable.
Unless we repainted you.
Do you have any car fronts left?
I can do a static visual effect
where I can make something
appear as a different picture
or a writing or something.
Will it cover up previous writing?
Or will it just superimpose?
- Oh, you give me a mech
check, and Jess, if you,
if Agnes actually wants
to make a wealth check—
- Oh yeah.
- For me.
You guys give me those two checks.
- I roll with advantage on mech.
- I'm doing my wealth check.
- Three.
- Okay.
- Ooh, there we go.
- A 12, plus—
- I got 20!
- Whoa?
- I got—
- 25, baby.
You know I got the money.
- I got 12 plus 8, 20.
- You each got 20?
- Dirty 20, Nat 20.
- Nat 20, dirty 20?
- Doing fine.
- With a Nat, so with a
dirty 20, we'll start here.
TI, you definitely have the tech.
I mean, these license plates
are, a lot of these houses
are almost different
governmental authorities,
so a lot of stewards are
not gonna be well-versed
to recognize every single official placard
or whatever on another
house's license plates.
Recreating a license plate
for a vehicle to make it look
like one of the ones
that's supposed to show up,
given that how the volume of
deliveries that are happening,
you could have a vehicle with
one of these license plates
show up no problem.
That's just you fabricating
a license plate.
- Okay.
- And with a Nat 20 wealth check,
when you were a younger woman, Agnes,
there were some people a
couple houses down the block
that got into you for a card game
they really shouldn't have.
With a Nat 20 wealth
check, you got a couple
beat up old cars in a garage
somewhere in this neighborhood.
It's either number 7 or
number 8 Thimble Lane,
one of those houses.
- It's just cars.
- It's cars.
- But the, and these would
be vehicles that not only
do you have access to, they
might be a little bit beat up
and they might not have any
sort of repairs done to them.
Additionally, because they
don't have faces on them,
and they don't belong to a kid,
they won't work without fairy dust,
but if you don't hit any,
you might not need fairy dust
if you had a technological
way of powering them.
- I can.
- And these vehicles
would leave Car-Go free
to do whatever Car-Go's gotta do,
and also, would definitely be big enough
to transport something as
heavy as a roll of quarters.
- Okay.
Now we're getting someplace.
So Rick.
- Yes?
- If we put you with the cars
with the mocked-up license plates,
can you talk your way past the guards?
- Yes, I believe so.
Yes.
- Unconvincing.
- Eh, yes.
- Okay.
- What, who is a good person
to be making the deliveries,
the superhero or the dinosaur?
- I think it's the dinosaur.
- Do I know that he's
all these people now?
- Oh, yeah.
- I think that's up to you.
- The f*cking dinosaur?
- The dinosaur?
- That guy's a prick!
- He fired us
from our job.
- You know what?
I feel like it might be the astronaut
now that I think about it.
- You know, okay, time to come clean, eh?
I was the dinosaur.
- We had a whole lucrative
fireworks stunt spectacular.
- But you set us off on this adventure.
- That's right.
- No, I'm,
she got punched so hard she died.
I don't, this adventure's not as cool
as our lightning expl*si*n burlesque show.
- Okay.
- You won't need that anymore
once we're all wealthy or dead.
- Can I see you as the dinosaur?
- Yeah, one second.
- It was pretty badass.
- Hey, it's me, and—
I'm back.
- Oh dang!
Okay, this guy.
- It's me, Digginsaurus Rick!
- This guy rocks.
- Yeah, he owns, man.
He's cool.
- Okay.
So it seems like we
send TI and we send Bean
to take care of the security.
We send Rick and Agnes with the cars.
And that's gonna leave you
with the distraction for Felix.
- I have an idea.
- And the team.
- Go ahead, actually,
give me, if you would,
anyone who wants to give
me a scheming check.
- Ooh, I'll do that.
- Mine could, yeah, mine's good.
- Mine's okay.
- 21 total.
- Ooh!
- Oh, so—
- 21, great.
- 17.
- Ooh, 17, not bad.
- Nine.
- Should we all go?
- I'm not gonna roll.
- Car-Go, as you're assigning tasks,
you realize it will take
TI probably a couple,
like if you're going to find
a non-fairy dust solution
to powering this vehicle,
it'll probably take TI
a day or two to do the work to
make the vehicle operational.
- Damn.
- Which would give you time
before the actual heist,
guys, 'cause you have a couple
of days of the itinerary.
- To scout?
- We have four days—
- Send me up there now.
- To scout, right?
- And not only do you have
someone that can scout
incredibly well, you also have
someone that, theoretically,
could actually have business
being in the location.
- Okay, yeah, so then, while Agnes and TI
are working on the cars—
- Okay.
- That's gonna leave you our inside man
figuring out Felix's schedule.
I want you on him, stick to him like glue.
I want you to be the most
loyal person he's got
in his whole cavalcade of underlings.
- But that's some bold talk from the guy
that I was disloyal to save.
- No, listen.
I'm telling you, and I
think you'll like this,
to act loyal.
- So the next time he
asks me to k*ll someone
to really k*ll 'em?
'Cause I didn't do that for you?
- Okay, if he tells you to k*ll me, don't.
- Okay.
- If it's someone who, I
don't know, is shady AF,
k*ll him, that's fine.
- I don't like that.
- Maybe a list.
He could maybe have a list of people
he does or doesn't k*ll.
- Yeah, okay.
Look around this table.
This is your do not k*ll list, right?
Anyone else—
- What about that guy?
- The drunk at the bar?
- You see the guy, he
goes, "Hey, f*ck you, man.
"f*ck you, man."
- The centipede
- Number one, you're
number one on the list now.
- Number one on the list?
Hey—
- Listen.
- You f*cking number one—
- Come on.
You wanna go?
- You wanna f*cking do this, dude?
- Hey, hey.
- Sorry.
- You can k*ll him later.
- Okay.
- This guy rips any more beefers
we're all gonna die, right man?
- Whoo!
- This guy f*cking rules.
What's your name, partner?
- "My name is f*cking Trey,
and I'm gonna die here."
- Trey.
- Yes, you are.
- And you're just here on spring break.
- "Hell, yeah.
"Trash City, every day,
every day, every day."
- Okay.
- I love Trash City.
- Me and some cop crickets
are gonna go hang out later
and play some DDR Snake.
You in, brother?
- "Oh, you know some,
"wait, are these cops chill
or they f*cking assholes?"
- No, they're assholes but if you pretend
like everything's okay,
then everything's okay.
- Wait a minute.
Did you say grasshoppers?
- Yeah.
I said crickets, but they're
the same thing, right?
- Yeah.
You know, if you needed to get
up to a vent to check it out,
that could be a useful
companion to have, no?
- Or you can borrow my suction feet—
- She got suction feet.
- I just wanna bring 'em back.
- I gotta be honest, I'm sitting here,
I'm thinking about Dantez, like,
how do I get Dantez into this?
Maybe Dantez is a show?
- Some fake art?
- Ooh, invite Dantez.
- Oh, he could be in the show.
- Yeah.
- We include Dantez in
the show, and Scoop.
- So how many days are we
talking to get ready for this?
- And maybe Pebble.
- Event?
- Charlie—
- We got four days, right?
- Charlie.
- You got four days,
that's absolutely right.
- We got, I will say this.
I will put a limit on it
and say we got two days.
- All right, but if we
rehearse for two days.
Okay, go ahead, go ahead with your scheme.
Scheme on.
- So we send Agnes,
you're working on cars with TI.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- You're an inside man, I
want you to know everything.
I want you scouting out the vent.
- Mm.
- And the air conditioning unit.
- Can I get an extra dart from your g*n?
- Sure.
- I need a hands one, in case it goes off.
- Yes, you can have one of my, ow!
Okay.
Now Rick?
- Yes?
- That leaves you and I.
- Yeah.
- Figuring out a plan of how
we're gonna pull this off.
- Okay, I'm ready.
- We have to figure out
who's gonna go where
on the day, how we get the quarters out,
and how we get everybody clear.
- Mm.
- Um—
- You've come
into the right place.
- Hell yeah.
I'm just gonna say that you two realize,
it's a brand new day.
Each of you needs to
find fairy dust today.
- Ooh.
- And also,
we gotta go find some fairy dust.
- And also, we have an errand to run.
- Yeah.
- What do you guys need?
- Hey, don't worry about it.
Uncle Rick and Uncle Car-Go—
- To recap, to recap,
to recap, you guys are gonna
do some things for the heist
then me and my friend
here need to score so bad.
- You're not looking so good.
- I'm feeling worse.
- Oh God.
- Wonderful.
We're going to cut over
to you guys go ahead
over to the rest—
- I give you a bang snap,
also, real quick, if you're
going, in case you need
to blow something up.
- A bang snap?
Okay.
- Yeah.
- What was the other thing that you had—
- Suction feet—
- Oh, the sending stone?
- Do people need a sending stone?
- Yeah, if you guys want sending stone—
- It would be cool for me
to be able to tell you like,
I'm gonna die!
- I think that at least,
for sure, the two of you,
'cause if you're going to scout out—
- How many sending stones does TI have?
- Oh, look at that, six.
- I got two.
- Okay.
- I have two.
- That's fine.
I just, give me one, and
somebody else take one,
just so I can literally like—
- I can only send you messages,
I don't think you can send messages.
- They are two way.
- They're two ways?
- They are two ways, yeah.
- I think the two of you should have them,
'cause if you're scouting the tech stuff—
- Right.
- She's gonna understand
what you need to look at the most.
- While they're doing,
could Agnes come with,
would it make sense for
Agnes to come with us
to help us get some of the—
- Some fairy dust?
- Wouldn't that make—
- Oh, yeah,
they can actually—
- I feel like she would be—
- And plus, I would need some,
'cause I don't have any myself, but—
- Yeah.
- We need some for the
cars, potentially, right?
- No, I'm fixing the cars.
- Oh, you're just gonna fix
the cars without fairy dust.
- This says, this has one
of two and two of two.
I think you actually have four.
That's what we originally,
that's what you asked for.
- Oh!
- You have four sending stones.
- Okay, great.
- Which are actually just
little Walkie-Talkie things.
You have like little—
- Yeah.
- They're little cellphone receivers
that you've stripped away
outta the plastic casing,
and they're just the bare minimum.
- So I would say you two have them.
- Okay.
- And then—
- Oh, I see,
'cause it's pairs, so we have two.
- Right.
- And I have two more.
- Oh, but they're four way.
Any of them can go to any other.
- Oh, I see.
- They're on a channel together.
- Definitely the only person
who doesn't get one is Boomer,
'cause he's gonna blow his cover.
- Oh, yeah, for sure.
- If you get—
- Okay.
- So I would say—
- Do you want one?
- If I'm going definitely
with Rick, then, I think the four of us,
and I think we should
probably start off with Agnes,
to help score.
- If she's down.
I mean, I think we probably
could use some dust.
- So I give—
- Do you have—
- I give you one, I give you one,
and I give Agnes one, is that right?
- Yes, so the four—
- Okay, great.
- The four of us,
yeah, the four of us.
- So we can communicate.
- Was there a question from Agnes?
- I do have unseen servant.
- Oh, awesome.
- Can I have somebody go grab,
him go grab fairy dust for us?
- Fairy dust is valuable
enough that it's probably
at least a conversation with somebody.
- Okay, we gotta go talk to someone.
- Or you could send him to get the cars,
you know, at the very least.
- Oh, yeah—
- I'll go.
- See, are you gonna take TI over to,
or are you just gonna
give TI the location?
- You could send her with Pebble.
- To find—
- Yeah, Pebble—
- To go get your car,
do you wanna go with TI
or do you wanna just
send her off by herself?
- I'll help these guys get fairy,
are you feeling okay on your own?
- No.
- Okay.
Then I'm gonna go with you.
I trust you boys have been getting
fairy dust for awhile now,
that you can take care of this yourself.
- Okay.
- Well.
- If you have any issues,
feel free to drop my name.
- Okay, good.
- Awesome.
I'll say that that is you giving a point
of bardic inspiration
to one of these guys.
- Nice.
- There you go.
- Nice.
- And don't go near Shoeby's
again, since you've been seen.
- Okay, thanks, Mom.
- Okay, we are gonna start
first with Agnes and TI.
You guys go on a long little
trip over to another house
in the cul-de-sac, and this one's actually
kinda up on the bend of the cul-de-sac,
the main cul-de-sac.
Way out in the back, there's
basically what amounted
to an old storm cellar, but underneath it,
there's a little bit of
a hole in the concrete
that opens up into the
foundation of the house,
and you guys walk in,
motes of dust hang out,
as through the slats of
the floorboards up above,
a little bit of sunlight comes through
off of the porch.
And you see, there's a cool,
damp little concrete area
that has completely cobwebbed over
three little plastic vehicles in a row.
To you, these are enormous
monster truck-sized vehicles.
- So many cars!
- You hear a voice go, "Ooh,
ooh, ooh, little sisters.
"Slow your roll."
And you see that a truly, a
just tiny little mushroom man
holding—
- He's a mushroom?
- He's a little mushroom man.
- Aww.
- You recognize this guy.
- Yeah.
- His name is Fungus,
and he is a little mushroom man.
He's got a little red cap.
His face is like in his
stalk, so that his cap
looks like a hat, he's
got this split mouth
and two little kind of rot marks for eyes
that kinda sorta open up his
little sort of bloodshot eyes
and you see he's got a little
twig with some leaves on it,
like a staff.
- Little mushroom man!
- "Little mushroom man?
"Little mushroom man?
"I am private security
in charge of this garage.
"Do you have, oh, oh, Ms. Agnes."
- How you doing, Fungus?
- "Oh, doing better now."
- His name is Fungus.
- He's a Fungi.
- He's a Fungi.
- Boo, boo, everybody boo at him, boo.
- Never.
- I love it.
- It wasn't even a reach.
It was like under you already,
and you just tapped it.
- How could I not throw it out there?
- It wasn't low hanging fruit,
it was on the ground already
and it was rotten.
- You see, he says, "You can
call me Gus, that's fine.
"You haven't been around in a while.
"I've been guarding these
three trucks for years."
- I appreciate it, Gus, I
appreciate your loyalty.
I want you to meet TI.
- Hi, I'm TI.
- "Hey there, TI, how you doing?
"You've got a cat face."
- Meow.
- "Cat noises.
All right.
Well, you here to pick up one of these
and take 'em for a ride?
They're covered in dust
and cobwebs, I'm afraid."
- Well, I think that we
can take it from here, Gus.
My friend's gonna take a
look at these vehicles,
see if we can get them
back in working order.
I'm thinking of maybe
taking a trip outta town,
me and my friend here,
so I wanna make sure
that all of the cars are ready to go.
- "All right, all right.
"Well, I would go with you,
but sunlight hurts my body."
- Me too.
- I whisper to Agnes, "Is he edible?"
- "Hey, toots, we're all edible."
- There's our second t-shirt.
Hey, toots, we're all edible.
- All right.
- I have a point of order
I need clarified.
Is his name, is his
Christian name Fun Gus?
He said, just call him Gus,
do people call him Fun Gus
'cause he's a Gus who is also fun?
- Yes, that is accurate, that is correct.
- Okay, I just wanted to clarify.
- Also, now that his
charge has been fulfilled,
does he now fall over and
die and turn into ash?
- Well, he looks over and says,
"I mean, the direct
deposits keep clearing,
"so I'm good to guard if you want a guard,
"but you know, it's up to you."
- And thus, my watch is ended.
- But then, from him, little Guses come—
- Aww.
- And I eat them.
- You see, he says, "Uh,
yeah, happy to keep guarding
"if you want, I mean,
watching the boss's stuff.
"It's a pretty easy gig.
"I stay here in the
shadows, people come in,
"I ward them off with this staff.
"They don't really know
what I am, and they leave.
"I freak people out."
- I think he looks delicious.
I have never seen a real mushroom.
- "Hey, all right, that look is bad.
"It makes me feel bad to
be looked at that way.
"Tell you what.
"Old Gus is gonna clear on outta here."
You see, he says—
- It makes me feel bad
to be looked at that way.
- You see, he goes,
"Agnes, it was a pleasure
"working for you.
"I will hopefully never see you,
"oh, you are licking your lips actively.
"It's time to beat feet
and stomp on outta here."
- I'm hungry.
- "Au revoir, my friends."
And then, you see, he walks
directly outta the thing,
gets hit by direct sunlight,
And just screams, walking across the yard,
as he walks towards—
- Oh, shiitake!
- The smell goes into TI's nose.
- I always wanted to try mushrooms.
- Wait, are all mushrooms
alive in this world?
- Not all mushrooms are
alive in this world.
This one is a special fairy—
- Little fairy mushroom.
- Guardian,
he's a little fairy mushroom.
- Did you just say when he screamed,
was it more of a yell or a portobello?
- That was so good!
Yay!
- Whoa!
- A good marshmallow joke—
- The king of comedy, he's back.
- With mushrooms.
- Portobella.
- Wild.
Cool, but you're here with the vehicles.
- What are the three cars?
- The three cars, so one of them
is a little bit more narrow,
kinda like a sleeker kinda car.
It looks like it would be fast,
but the handling would be pretty bad.
There's another one which is like
a big f*cking monster
truck kinda looking thing.
If nothing in your plan goes wrong,
that could be a cool, big vehicle.
There's one that's a
little unassuming looking,
but is a, basically,
old plastic school bus
that is not much for the
eyes, but you look at it,
and it's a bare chassis with
a tremendous amount of room
for you to add modifications to it,
and there's easy access,
and the best part is,
in terms of deceiving people,
it looks like a cargo-bearing vehicle.
- Hmm, look like you want
us to pick the school bus.
- Mm.
- Hmm.
- Tell me again about the one
that is good if all goes well.
- Those are your three.
- We also have to get this
thing up an air shaft.
- That's correct, so the big monster truck
might be a little bit harder to do that.
- Okay.
- I am gonna let you pick.
You're out on your own
for the first time ever,
and you gotta start making decisions.
- Let's do the bus.
- Let's do the bus.
- All signs point
to the bus, don't know
why, but sounds good.
All right, let's—
- I mean, I'm being made
to be a villain here for
just giving information.
- Well, giving us the
right vehicle to choose,
as the leader of this little band,
I appreciate what you've just done.
- I don't like being told what to do.
Anyways, I wanna start
working on this bus,
'cause it doesn't drive yet, right?
- Not from the looks of it, no.
- All right, I get working on the bus.
- Go ahead, for the first day of work,
it's gonna be a DC25 mech check.
- Holy sh*t.
- It's gonna be a DC25
mech check for the first—
- If I get a 25, then it's fixed?
- Then it's fully fixed in the first day,
if you get a 25.
- Okay.
I get advantage on mech.
- And what's your plus?
- Eight.
- Okay.
- So 17 or higher
is what we need.
- That's a seven.
- No, two.
- So that's a two.
- You got advantage.
Come on.
- Ah, that's a 14.
- 14, okay.
- But plus 8,
so it's not, it doesn't beat your check,
but I did get 22, which is not bad.
- 22 is great.
It's basically—
- It's not bad.
- Well, 22 is very, very good.
A 20DC is a very difficult DC.
Effectively, it's just,
this is not a skills issue,
and you're not making any mistakes.
It's just a time issue.
- Yeah.
- It's just,
you are working all f*cking day.
'Cause this thing used to run on magic,
and you're making it run on batteries.
You're making it more reliably
run on wiring and stuff.
You're taking your pack off.
- I wanna clarify something for the world.
I thought you were saying
that things without a face
wouldn't run even with fairy dust.
Is that accurate?
- Won't come to life.
- Won't come to life.
- But you can make a car
work with fairy dust.
- It just won't have a
sentience and personality.
- Exactly.
- Got it.
- Right, right, right.
- So nobody draw a face on one of these things.
- Yeah, you know, what if we—
- Or it's gonna get weird fast.
- I'm kinda sad, are these
beings that were just left here?
Do they have souls?
- We need an extra episode
to talk about this,
because I do wanna find out.
- Hey, let's get real.
- Let's get real.
- These things do not have souls.
- Okay.
- Does Car-Go have a soul?
- Car-Go does have a soul.
- Car-Go has a soul.
- Oh, sh*t.
- Car-Go does have—
- Oh!
- Car-Go will be judged
by our Father in heaven.
- Anubis.
- That is the purpose
of a soul.
- While TI's working, can
I have my unseen servant
go and get some mushrooms
so she can try them?
- Absolutely, you do, okay, so—
- Okay.
- So we,
there's like an awesome welding montage
of you just horking down mushrooms,
and your unseen servant
can probably also grab
like the parts that you would
need to be doing this work.
Awesome, you are working up a storm.
- Thank you.
- Try some mushrooms.
Do you like?
- I love them.
- And these ones don't talk.
These are the ones that you wanna eat.
- Mm.
- There you go.
- I'm still curious about trying that one.
- Oh, whoa.
- Hell yeah. We're gonna cut back over now
to our friends Rick and Car-Go.
Where are you guys going for your,
you know, your mid-heist—
- This is such a weird scene.
This is such a, this would be like,
in the middle of "Oceans 14,"
Brad Pitt and Danny Ocean
were like, "All right, guys, good plan.
"We're gonna go get some heroin for us."
- I'll change it up,
I'll amend that slightly
to say, it's more similar
because of the nature
of this world to, if Rust and Danny Ocean,
in the middle of "Oceans 11" were like,
"We need to go pick up
insulin from the pharmacy."
- Or like a blood transfusion,
or we need an organ donor.
- You guys—
- That gets us high.
- You're not even best
buds, so it would be like,
if Danny Ocean and like the—
- The Casey Affleck character.
- The Casey Affleck character were like,
"We don't talk much, but I love heroin,
"you love heroin, we need
it to live, let's do this."
- We need it to live.
- I have a plan, if you're down.
Do we, do I have a dealer?
Let me say that, like would
I have a fairy dealer?
- Give me a streetwise check.
- Okay.
- 'Cause at this point,
like whatever your plan is sounds great.
Car-Go has never had to score before.
- 11 plus four, 15.
- 15.
There's a guy that
you've bummed off a lot,
but you haven't hit him up in awhile.
- I've got it, I've got it covered.
- Incredible.
- Okay.
Mm-hmm.
- And what's his name?
- His name is Speck.
- Speck, all right.
- Do you just have a list back there
that you can pull off of?
- It's called his brain.
- Woo!
- Cool.
He's over in Trash City.
He moves a lot of product,
he might be able to help you.
- Okay.
Rick.
- Yes, you're Rick.
- It's Rick, got you.
- Oh, another Rick
trick, you got me again.
- I'm great with the Rick tricks.
Car-Go, I have a thought
about how we can score drugs.
- I prefer to think of it
as just like a charge up,
not drugs, not for me.
- Okay, Justin, okay, that's fine.
I have a dealer, his name is Speck?
I have, unfortunately,
I have gotten a lot of samples from Speck.
We all have, all of us Ricks,
have gotten a lot of tastes
of the good stuff, huh,
from Speck, without—
- I feel like you've gone
around to the free sample
and then, changed your hats,
and you've gone back to—
- Yes, so I'm—
- This look delicious.
- Free sample of fairy dust
- What I'm saying is—
- Maybe I will try some crack.
Thank you very much.
- None of my, all of the Ricks are in deep
for drugs to Speck.
But you're not, so,
I am going to create a disguise
for you that you can go to
Speck and get some drugs
for both of us.
- Some charge up.
- A charge up.
- Please don't say drugs.
That makes me feel weird.
- I want to make you look
like a real fancy man,
someone who wants a taste, and then,
maybe who is gonna come back
with a big purchase order.
What do you think?
- I don't, oh, sure, I mean,
if it keeps us alive for another 24 hours,
then I,
- Where has Car-Go been
getting fairy dust?
- Well, I got it yesterday from—
- Well, he hasn't, yeah—
- He hasn't needed it—
- He hasn't needed it because
he's been with the kid.
Cool.
- That's it.
- Go ahead and give me
a, I guess this would be
a disguise proficiency.
- I have like a +6.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Wow, that's a 20.
It's an amazing disguise,
it's a 26 altogether.
- You rolled at Nat 20 right now?
- I look like Felix.
- Damn!
- It's glowing.
- What do you want Car-Go to look like?
Incredible.
- Incredible.
So imagine Car-Go, but I
wanna give you the look
of Rick Diggins Man about Town.
- So I'm going to look like
the monster in Frankenstein,
like Young Frankenstein,
where I've got the suit on,
but it's barely fitting?
- Puttin' on the ritz!
- You're a robot, but a fancy robot,
and that's your character,
a robot of means,
and that's the character
for you to go see Speck.
- You guys head over to Trash City.
You know the spot where Speck hangs out.
There's a little noodle bar downtown.
When I say noodle bar, I
mean there's one noodle,
and people are cutting off
pieces of it, and eating it.
You see that, Speck is like one of those
sort of mayfly looking,
he's like very skinny bug,
long gossamer wings,
he's got a little sort of
makeshift, like thick beanie,
wool hat that kinda hangs
over the top of his head.
You see he's just got a thin little arm,
taking bites out of this chunk of noodle.
Car-Go, as you approach, you're gonna roll
deception and persuasion with advantage
in this scene because you've got
this insane Nat 20 disguise on.
- Okay.
- And I would like to be nearby,
but not visible to Speck.
I don't think Speck, I
don't want Speck to clock me.
- Gotcha, okay.
Give me a stealth check real quick.
It'd probably be a, it'd
probably be do a disguise.
- Oh, cool, yeah, a disguise, yeah.
- 'Cause my disguise is
better than my stealth.
11 plus what I did just say?
Six, 17.
- Cool.
You're just a person
he's never seen before.
Great.
- That's fine.
- Should I go ahead and
roll the persuasion,
and the deception now?
- Go ahead and roll them
now, as you approach.
- That's a 14 plus two on either one.
But I'm gonna ahead and with advantage,
that's 17 plus two.
We'll do that on deception.
- Cool, so you do not appear
to be Car-Go Jones, yeah?
- Yes, 19, oh God!
That's a two, that's nothing.
Oh, that's a Nat 20.
- Holy sh*t!
- What is going on?
- Just give me drugs!
- You look like a man
that could use some drugs.
- Wow!
- Excuse me, sir.
I've got two drugs for you.
Don't say another word, young man.
- You had me at drugs.
- Remember, kids, don't do drugs,
unless you need them to live.
- You walk up to this sort
of anemic-looking mayfly bug
in this little noodle bar,
in kind of like an old,
at the edge of a carved
up old styrofoam container
with a couple of other
bugs sitting around here.
You walk up to this guy,
what does Car-Go say to him?
- "Hello, Mr. Speck.
"I am a fancy robot about town.
"I represent an organization of stewards
"who are looking to
sample some of your drugs
"to see how fairy dust
might affect the bitty folk,
"and if they enjoy it and survive,
"they might become regular buyers."
- "Yes!
"Oh, I was so f*cked, and
now it's gonna be okay.
"Oh, I haven't sold any drugs in so long.
"I have so many drugs and no money."
- If there are hundreds
of beings in this house
that need this to live,
you're the shittiest salesman on Earth.
- "Oh, I'm so bad at my job.
"Oh, I'm so bad at my job.
"This is such a coup.
"This is huge!"
- Yes, this is going to
be very good for you,
but they need to test, as they
say, the merchandise first.
- This is actually, I
will say, a perfect lie.
You've come up and said—
- Thank you.
- You've come up and said,
"I am an envoy of very square people,
"who probably don't respect the people
"who live in this city.
"I'm not beholden to your
laws, and I've come here to—
- It's almost like I, Travis
McElroy, am a very good liar.
- Oops.
- You see he looks up and goes,
"Oh
God, this is my big break.
"I can't believe it, I can't believe it,
"I can't believe it.
"It actually happens,
and it's weirdly sad.
"Like you think about your life
"when you weren't successful?"
- Yeah.
- "And there's parts of
it you're gonna miss.
"Like I'm gonna miss
being at this noodle bar.
"I'm never gonna see any of
these f*cking people again."
- Mm.
- Does he yell—
- Yeah, everyone else hears him say this.
They don't know him.
He's like, "God, this is
me, this is Speck in 2019.
"This is how we do it."
- Okay.
- h*!
- But still I need
- I feel so bad.
- Like two sample drugs?
- "You got it, man,
you absolutely got it."
- How 'bout four?
No, just two, just two is fine.
- Are we gonna, if he only gets two,
are we gonna have to score again tomorrow?
This is exhausting.
- Yeah.
- You got like four days,
so you get four days.
- Yeah, just get a bunch.
- Push him.
- You see, yeah, you got a
Nat 20, if you wanna push him,
you can push him.
- Well, I can do two,
and that would be, meh,
small group.
- "Oh."
- But.
- "Okay."
- If you're looking to
like hit it big time?
- Yeah.
- And this works out,
there's gonna be more who
are gonna wanna try it.
- How much drugs can
you carry in your arms?
- I mean, how much do you got?
- You hear a cough from
an adjacent table, eight—
- You go over, he comes
around sorta the corner,
this sorta alley, he
opens up this little thing
inside his styrofoam container,
take out a little stash,
and hands you eight little baggies of—
- Car-Go just opens his chest up,
and just puts the baggies
in, closes the chest back.
- "Please tell your employers,
I hope they enjoy it.
"Please tell them to
enjoy it responsibly."
- Oh dear God, we are
setting such a bad example.
- He said enjoy it responsibly, Dad.
Legalize it.
- You see—
- Legalize fairy dust.
- He goes, "And honestly, thank you."
- Oh, no.
- "Honestly, thank you."
- Honestly, thank you.
- "You are my best friend."
- Okay, time to go.
- You head off and you see,
he just sorta dances in
the alley a little bit.
- Ee.
- Is that how it always goes?
- Well, I, yeah, I tried it five times.
He falls for it every f*cking time.
I'm glad that—
- Oh no!
- The same lie?
- The exact same.
- There's some stewards,
and they wanna try them?
- Yeah.
Can you carry me?
I have recently lost the use of my legs.
- Oh, here, have some drugs.
- Oh, thank you.
- You guys each have your
little bit of fairy dust
that you need to be able
to stay animated that day.
- And then, we go see a show,
maybe have a nice dinner—
- Dancing.
- Yeah.
- Buy a bunch of Cheetos.
- Stay up all night cleaning your house.
- I've been meaning to
check out "Ricky and Morty."
- Argue about the ending of
"Sopranos" for four hours.
- Rick, you take the fairy dust,
and you take six points of damage.
- Oh, sh*t, okay.
- You feel, it does its
magic, it keeps you animated.
- Oh, wait, this is angel dust.
- But you feel something that you did
in that super heroic
moment, I mean, you knew
what you were doing, you knew
that were doing something
more reckless and self-destructive
than you've ever done.
- Does that show?
- Give me an insight check.
- 13 plus five, 18.
- Yeah, you see Rick
wince, and double over.
- Yeah.
- Literally.
- Rick, what, what has happened?
- I went too deep.
You know people always say,
"Drugs, there's no down side."
- We're gonna get letters.
- But it turns, stop.
But it turns out, there is
a cost to the little stunt
I pulled rescuing Agnes, and the cost is,
apparently, drugs are hurting me now.
Go figure.
- Well, Rick, I almost
said, "This is great,"
but of course, I don't
want you to be hurt,
but now, you have no
choice but to give up drugs
and seek the love of a child.
Like once this all done,
Rick, I can get you in.
- Yeah, but which child?
I f*cking hate Dylan, and
I hate Max just as much,
if not more, if that's even possible.
You don't know these f*cking kids around.
- I know these kids.
- Whoa.
- Hey, listen.
There's lots of kids.
I can go with anyone.
I don't need your stink kids.
I can go down the street to the Broasas,
I can go up the street to the Smegobas.
- I can get you with the Smegobas.
- I can go to the Smegobas, no problem.
There's lots of f*cking kids.
Man, take me to Goodwill,
they'd pick me up instantly.
"I love it, LEGO Man!"
- This guy is so f*cking high.
- Yeah, I am also extremely high.
She's—
- We're all very high right now.
- That's why Car-Go's
not gonna fight back.
- You guys are having this
conversation like on the subway,
everybody else here is
just like, bleh, huh.
- Smegobas.
Wonderful.
You guys head back, probably, actually,
you guys can keep meeting
in the diner if you want,
but you also, I think,
probably Agnes has a penthouse
at Shoeby's which is a
little bit more private.
- Yeah, I think that—
- Yeah, we're starting
to push our luck.
- Have a lot of sh*t
that I mean, yeah.
- Cool.
We'll keep it at the diner.
- Well, where has Rick been living?
- On the street.
- Huh.
That's so sad.
- We're gonna cut over to Boomer.
- It's a reality for
millions of Americans.
Hey, folks, it's me, Justin McElroy.
Drugs are bad.
- Let's get, we need to edit this.
- Wonderful.
Boomer, what are you up
to, as you are looking for,
basically access to the vault?
- I think that he is
following up on the idea
of trying to worm his way
back into Felix's affections.
I think he's been volunteering.
You know, he's volunteered
for extra shifts.
He wants to stick right by his side,
he wants to prove to Felix
that he's a good guy,
and he uses the excuse of, he tells Felix
that he's working up a
little tribute to him,
and just while they're on
their usual rounds, of,
you know, like breaking
people's head, and you know,
extorting money, he just
wants to really learn
all about Felix, just wants to find out
what's going on up here
in the Felix noggin.
- There is up, like way up in the rafters
above the media center of the house,
they kinda hear loose music,
like sort of playing throughout,
there's a small little steward restaurant,
and it's this little balcony.
It overlooks through this little
sort of seam in the ceiling
so that no one can look up in the darkness
and see anybody, there's a little balcony,
where these stewards
are sitting at tables.
There's clean tablecloths on these tables.
You see that little
sort of rounded buttons
with little crumbs of
cheese and fine, you know,
rosemary garlic cr*cker crumbs
are being placed in front of people,
and you see that there are
little blobs of champagne.
They even have—
- The good stuff.
- Three or four—
- Two bubbles.
- Yeah, two bubbles in them
being put in front of people,
so you're coming, and
you've just come from,
you know, knocking some
heads of some people
that were not coughing up
the money for protection.
You see there's a table.
You and Tony are both approaching.
You see that Speed is kinda
just standing a little ways
away from the table,
and you see that Felix
and Minetta are there dining together.
Minetta has a bunch of
food in front of her,
and a little thing of
champagne that, of course,
she doesn't eat and
doesn't really give a sh*t,
but it's there so that people know
that Felix can afford it.
And—
- This guy sucks.
- Yeah.
- And you see that
Felix sort of, you know,
swilling his little bubble of champagne,
as you guys approach.
So this is you and Tony approaching.
So he looks up and says, "Ah, gentleman.
"I trust the afternoon is going well.
"You were able to give us
a hand with those people
"down by the bathroom sink, right?"
- Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah.
Consider them flushed.
- "Good, I'm glad to
hear that they're more—
- You flush the sink?
- You see that he
smiles, he nods his head,
and he says, "I'm glad
that what is left of them
"is excited about the organization."
He puts his glass down.
Tony looks over, and you see Tony says,
"It's a busy week ahead, boss."
He says, "You wanted us
to double up on shifts?"
You see that he looks,
Felix flashes his eyes
over to Speed, Speed nods
back, he flashes his eyes
to Tony, and he goes,
"Car-Go Jones is still out there.
"He's up to something.
"We're gonna be doubled up
on security at the vault.
"I want patrols, I want people out there,
"I want this house locked down."
- That's on me, you guys.
Sorry about that, sorry.
- You see that Tony says, "All right.
"We're trying to pull the
manpower for the vaults,
"sir, I don't know who we're gonna be able
"to put on shifts there.
"We already got Dot,
Dot's pulling a double,
"we got Nubbins pulling a double."
You see, he says, "I'm not sure who else."
Ah, you see that Felix sort of thinks,
and he's like, "Well, if
people wanna get paid overtime,
"they can get paid overtime.
"This problem is not gonna last for long."
- Boss, can I, I know you were pissed off
about the whole me not seeing Car-Go Jones
back in the casino, but you know,
I think I've proven that I'm,
I got your best wishes at heart.
I mean, I got you outta there, you know,
and I'm still saying, I
think there was some danger
to you in that place.
You know, I don't know what it was,
but you know, I really want
a chance to prove myself
to you, that I'm a company guy,
and so, I would be happy
to take on these other responsibilities.
Double me up, and you know,
you don't even have to pay me overtime,
just my regular hourly, you know, pay.
- Awesome.
I'm gonna need a couple of
rolls from Boomer right now.
- Oh, no!
- Can we do them?
- Best roller—
- Well, the first thing
I'm gonna need is this.
- Now, folks at home,
roll, and you let us know
how you did.
- I'm the roller.
- I'm gonna let you roll with advantage
on the first roll, which
is your deception roll,
because you said that you
would not work for overtime
and Felix is a fundamentally greedy man.
So this is gonna be your deception roll.
Everything after this
will not get advantage.
Remember also that you have
that die of bardic inspiration
in an emergency.
So this first one is your deception roll.
- You got this.
- 15.
- With advantage, right?
- And three, it's 18.
- 18.
- Should I try again?
- You can try again,
see if you roll higher.
- Nope, let's stick with 18.
- We'll stick with 18.
Do you wanna use your die of,
do you wanna use your
die of bardic inspiration
on this roll, or are you happy with 18?
- What is the next roll?
- The next roll's gonna
be your persuasion check
to actually, in other
words, this one is to see
whether they are suspicious, and then,
after that, it's to see if
they actually listen to you.
- Well, I think I'll stick with the 18,
because he's not really
trying to be that deceptive.
I mean, he really does want
to get to closer to him.
His motivation is now what he thinks,
but I mean, he wants to be
closer, he wants to prove himself
and he wants to get inside,
so I don't think he's waste
it on the deception.
- You don't hit on 18.
That's just—
- Yeah.
- You don't hit on 18.
- That's check 101.
- I'm gonna
make some rolls over here.
- I'm gonna make some biscuits.
Just a little joke,
just a little joke.
- You're so good.
- Yet so bad.
- Mm.
- You see that Felix looks up at you.
Speed also sees you.
You see that Speed narrows
his eyes a little bit
looking at you.
Felix looks up and says,
"A man who would give up
"his own overtime.
"I'm glad to see some
dedication out of you."
Go ahead and give me a
persuasion check now.
- Holy sh*t, Brennan,
you know I roll shitty.
- Now, no, not this time, Dad.
Do it.
- This time you have,
this time's gonna be a
big 2-oh on the dice.
- Nat 20.
- Big chunky 20.
- Let's see those flashes.
- Nat 20.
- Nat 17.
- Nat 17!
- Not bad!
- What do you add to persuasion?
- Persuasion is three, so it's a dirty 20,
as we say in the D&D game.
- Ooh.
- You see that Felix looks over to Tony,
and says, "Put Boomer on a few shifts.
"Glad to see you've
abandoned those dreams.
"As they say in the
biz, keep your day job."
- Hey, you gotta dream, right?
You gotta live your dreams.
- No, don't.
- Don't.
- You gotta pursue your dreams.
- You see that he looks at you and says,
"I don't dream, I make it real,
"and then it's not a dream anymore."
- f*ck.
- I'm gonna use that.
- That's good.
- It's our third shirt.
- I'm gonna use that.
I make my dreams—
- We're selling lots of shirts.
- Yeah.
- I don't dream, I make it real.
Buy this shirt.
- No one else notices
it, but you notice it.
You see that when he says,
"The things about dreams,"
Minetta goes,
"This sucks."
- It does suck.
- Cool.
You're put on some shifts
over the following week.
You've got time to actually go in
and you will be on patrol in the vault.
Awesome, incredible.
You're in the vault for the first time,
Bean, you are on recon, my man.
- Hell, yeah.
I got all kinds of ideas.
- My dude,
you're going inside the house.
- Oh, yeah.
- What's Bean up to?
- Well, okay, so the bedroom's
on the second floor, right?
I don't know how much
I know about the layout
of the HVAC system in this house.
I think I know enough
to know that the vault
is above Max's room, but I—
- Yes.
- And I have to imagine
Car-Go has given you some—
- Some sort of layout.
- This is the layout
of the house and you go in.
- 100%.
- He's got robot-brain, he
can print out a map of—
- 100%.
- I don't have a printer
in my body, a robot isn't
like, doot-doot, doot-doot.
- It's like a lot of these
sort of classic old houses
where there's a big
staircase that kind of goes
from near the front
door up, and the public,
the first floor of the
house is all public rooms,
like a living room with a media center,
and a dining room and a kitchen, bathroom,
one of those big house pantry
that goes into a laundry room
kinda places, and the second
floor is master bedroom
for Mom and Dad, a room for
Max and then, a room for Dylan.
- And is the A/C unit
control in the living room,
where it passes—
- The A/C—
- Where most humans—
- Yeah, the A/C's probably
just running, right?
- The A/C is running.
There is a little panel for it,
but the panel is on
naked wall in a hallway
a million miles from the floor.
- Is it one of those wireless systems
that you can access on your phone?
- That would be a, that
would be a lot for me.
- I'm gonna make a little
luck check back here.
- See how lucky you are?
- To see if it's a, it is not remote.
It is electronic.
- I was gonna think if her hacking—
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, like a—
- Simplify things.
- Net surfing thing.
- I'll be okay.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- But you can basically like,
at night, it should be
okay, 'cause on night,
it goes on a cycle, basically.
- Yeah, I've just been
trying to figure out
like how they have been
able, the steward and Felix,
how they have been able
to control the A/C.
- If you were guessing,
you would say rather
than hacking into the panel,
which would be where humans
would look for a problem,
they've probably gone
to actually the control mechanism in the,
like either out on the
big chunky outdoor section
of the air conditioner unit—
- Oh, okay.
- Or stewards have gone
somewhere to plug in,
to being able to mess with that system.
- Which is probably really
annoying for the humans,
when they turn their A/C on, they're like,
this f*cking thing's not working!
- They're always like—
- Because the little people—
- I thought I turned it—
- Living in the walls—
- Off.
- Have short-circuited it at the source.
- Yeah.
- That's what happens at my house.
- Yeah.
- That's what excuse
I'm gonna start using.
- I didn't forget to turn this off.
- If I wait until night, is that my scene?
It's just me—
- It's not you waiting.
You can do your scene
at night, absolutely.
- Yeah, I think I would
do it at night, then.
- Hell, yeah.
- I don't think it would be
that hard to get into the house.
I don't think I do it that
often, but I think that this
is what the Watermelon
Temple trains you for,
is for going out into the yard or wherever
without getting spotted and k*lled.
- Hell yeah.
- So I think he knows the idea,
like he knows how to get into the house.
- Cool.
- He maybe doesn't do it
all the time, but he
knows the best way in.
- Hell yeah.
Go ahead and give me either a perception
or an investigation check.
- I'll do perception.
- Cool.
- It's not gonna do it.
That's an eight.
- Okay.
Cool.
You're sneaking into the house,
you probably are just
gonna go in the safest way
that you know how.
- Okay.
- I said before that these
houses are a little bit older.
The nice thing about these
houses is that the windows
never really close—
- Okay.
- Quite properly.
There is, and also, Max in his room,
tends to keep his window open,
so his window usually has
an opening on it about that big,
right at the head of his bed.
- Okay.
- So this is a titanic teenage human,
but you're able to sneak
in, and go ahead and give me
a stealth check, if you'd be so kind.
- Okay.
Am I using my, is this
while I'm climbing the wall
or have I entered the room at this point?
- This is just you approaching the house.
- Oh, okay.
- If he leaves that window open,
that air conditioner's gonna
be running all the time.
We're not made of money!
- All right, Dad.
- I'm gonna go ahead and do this, like,
I take a deep, am I outside right now?
Can I be like at the
Heap, can I be like, okay,
I imagine I'm trying to center myself
before a mission.
- You are, okay, if you're at the Heap,
you're centering yourself,
you feel like the wind
blow, the grass moves,
there's stars in the sky,
a very bright crescent moon up above,
and you hear, as you're
centering yourself,
you hear a voice behind you, say,
"Well, young 'un, you fixing
to go get up to some trouble?"
And Master Buttons is behind you.
- I open my eyes, and
I was like, real quick,
was I levitating?
'Cause sometimes, it
feels like I'm levitating
when I do that, but you saw it.
Was I up in the air?
- Your a*s was right on the ground, kiddo.
- One of these times, I'm
gonna freaking levitate
while I'm doing that.
- Yeah.
- I like these hillbilly
monks we've created.
- It's the, it's, he says,
"Yeah, I guess you'd probably
call it a little bit of trouble.
I mean, I hope I don't get into trouble.
I hope I can get in, get
out, and get what I need,
but yeah, it's, yeah.
It's not really robbery, right,
I'm not gonna keep anything
but yes, it's gonna be weird."
- "Well, I don't know.
I don't know what it
means to steal something
that somebody else has that
they don't really need or want.
You know, the name Moocher
is what we call ourselves,
but it's not really a name we chose.
It's what the stewards
have always called us.
They get to be called the stewards,
because after all, all they're
doing is just holding on
to the things they take.
And I guess someday, they think
they might give 'em all back
but I wouldn't hold my breath none.
I think taking
something that you need
and someone else wouldn't give
a second thought to losing,
I don't think that's wrong, kiddo."
- Hell yeah.
- "Hell yeah."
She bows.
- Namaste.
- Namaste?
You see that she looks
over at you, and says,
oh, I think it, go ahead and
give me just a flat wisdom,
give me an insight check.
Flat wisdom.
- 15.
- Something, you remember
the thing about Marty Flick
saying something about the heat.
- Oh, yeah.
I say, "Hey, I had two
names that stuck out to me,
"but I couldn't quite figure out why.
"There's something about,
"I wrote 'em down somewhere in my little—
- Raindrop and Snow Pea.
- Raindrop and Snow Pea, does
that stick out to you at all?
- She looks at you, hold on one second.
- Like Dexter.
Not the m*rder*r, the murderee.
We already mentioned our passengers.
- All right.
- Be cool.
- Don't do drugs.
- Don't do drugs, kids.
Unless you really want to.
- And you can hang.
- If you can hang.
And it's not a cop.
- Hold on one second.
- Are any of you kids cops?
Brennan told us that we were
allowed to talk about drugs
'cause it's behind a paywall.
I don't think he meant a
full-throated endorsement of drugs.
- Also not—
- Not the cost
of trying to get drugs.
- Yeah, the whole cycle has begun, saying,
you know, I think the real prize we won
was learning how much we love drugs,
and how great they are and harmless.
- She looks at you and say,
"Say those names again."
- I already forgot 'em,
Rain Pea and Snowdew?
- Oh my God.
- You see she says,
"Yeah," she says, "Snow Pea
and Raindrop were members
"of the Heap way back.
"They were moochers.
"They passed away after
they lost their grandsons.
"Their grandsons and their
friend Dexter went on a mission
"to that house before you
were in the monastery,
"when you were still a young 'un.
"Grandsons were,
"I think, Tip and Tap?
"They're these two little
towheaded little boys.
"They, golden hair, and
they went with Dexter
"to the house a long time ago,
"but they never came back.
"We must've lost 'em all."
- Yeah, things get lost in
that house all the time.
Why would Felix Flick's
brother know about all this?
- You see.
- That's okay.
I'll explain it later.
- You see that she shrugs and says,
"I've never seen or met Felix Flicks,
so I wouldn't know, but—
- He's a real piece of work.
- He's a bad man.
- Yeah, we're robbing him
really soon, that's who I
was talking about doing—
- You're robbing Felix Flick?
- Is that bad?
- She looks out into the
starry night, and goes,
"From the highest leaf
of the tallest tree,
"to the itty bittiest
little speck of dirt,
"all the spirits of this wonderful yard,
"I hope will join me
when I say, Hell yeah."
- Hell yeah.
- Hell yeah.
- Hell yeah.
- And I pull my banana peel hood up.
And just bow, and take off.
- You take off.
- I think as I'm moving through the grass,
the camera just stops seeing
me as I use pass without trace
which lasts an hour,
so this whole mission,
I'm just gonna—
- Incredible.
Give me a stealth roll now that
you have pass without trace active.
- That is a seven plus seven, 14, plus 10.
24.
- 24!
- Whoo.
- You are a shadow, and you have
the little Tik-Tek suction cup feet,
so there's not even acrobatics check.
- Yeah, you gave me a lot of things.
I have suction feet and
dart, sending stone,
a bang snap that you gave me,
and we talked about having a headlamp
so that I can see anything
while I'm inside the—
- Incredible.
- It's almost like your
character is super broken.
- Yeah, you are just a beast.
You're up the side of the
wall, in the window sill.
You climb up the window sill.
You see the window sill's,
this window probably
can't even close below
where Max has it open,
that it might've been one of those windows
that couldn't help but shut,
so he's wedged a chunk of wood
in here to keep it perpetually this open.
- Okay.
- You look out, as you jump into his room,
Max's room is disgusting.
His bed is, he's asleep right now,
his bed, he sleeps with
napkins and pizza and Coke cans
and books, and his laptop in his bed.
He's one of those guys that falls asleep
with a laptop on his chest like,
his bed is just strewn with sh*t, crumbs,
deep, knotted things from the
sheets being unwashed, like—
- Ew.
- It's gross in here.
And the floor of his room
is piled high, as well,
which you realize makes
it an incredible epicenter
for stewards that were up to bad business.
- Yeah.
- Moving through here unseen
is like effortless.
- Sure.
- You are through to here, no problem.
You hear the rumble of a distant Rumba,
out in the lower levels of the house,
and you see a long strand
of cat hair, as well.
- Where, where?
- I refuse to believe if
there's a Rumba in this house,
this is the first we're hearing of it.
Like that would be all anybody
f*cking talks about, right?
- And then, of course, circular robot god.
- And then, there's the Devil.
- The Devil!
- I lost my mom.
- Where is this cat,
where is this cat hair at?
- Cat hair's on one of
his pieces of clothes,
so it's not scattered around the room.
You think he probably
doesn't let the cat in here,
you don't see cat hair on the rug—
- But this is the first
we're hearing of a cat.
- First you're hearing of a cat, yeah.
- Oh, okay, there's a cat.
- Now Car-Go probably
knows about the cat, right?
- Yeah, Car-Go and Boomer would both know.
But the cat's mostly downstairs,
the cat doesn't really go into the—
- What's the cat's name?
- The cat's name, hold on,
I actually have his here.
- Kurch?
Kurch Flibbins?
- Miss—
- Whiskers!
The cat's name is Whiskers.
- Aw.
- What's your—
- I whisper into the sending stones,
Hey, uh come on in, Car-Go,
Car-Go, come on in, come on back,
10-4.
- Yes, what?
- Is there a kitty cat in the
house I should know about?
- Oh, right.
- Can you whisper?
I'm in the boy's room.
- Okay.
This is my whisper.
Yes, there is a cat named Whiskers.
- Is it a nice cat or what's up?
- It's a cat.
- Okay, that tells me
all I need to know.
- I haven't met another cat.
I have no point of comparison whatsoever.
- That's totally fair.
- I don't know what a
nice cat is to compare.
- Right.
- Anyways,
the cat stays out of Max's
room because Max is now,
at least for now, terrible.
- Cool.
- And so,
you probably don't need, is the door shut?
- Yeah, I gotta do my, I got like a lot
of stomach acid right
now, 'cause I'm about
to do something scary, so
I'm gonna go ahead and do it.
- Okay, yeah.
How's it going?
I will talk to you later.
I just wanted to let y'all
know I'm about to do—
- Hey.
- Yeah, hey.
- Hey, just wanted to check
and say, you got this!
- Oh, thank you.
Yeah, it's cool.
I just wanted y'all to know—
- I met a little mushroom man.
- Did you eat him?
That sounds good.
- I wanted to, but he left.
- Aw.
- Hey, Agnes, are you there?
- Oh, hello, I'm here.
Hello, everyone.
How's everybody doing?
- How's it going?
- I'm about to do—
- Are we having a good time,
we're fixing up the bugs.
- I mostly just wanna let y'all know—
- Yeah, now how do you like it?
- Do I have one of these things?
- No.
- Explicitly didn't—
- I just wanted to let
y'all know that I'm about to do this,
so that if I get sucked
into a fan and exploded,
y'all know what happened, so.
- Hey, let me talk to the boy, hey.
- Okay, here you go.
- This is Rick Diggins.
- Hey.
- I wanted to let you know,
you do it, you don't do it,
we all die eventually.
- Good Lord,
you are not good at this, man.
- Hey, that's my help action.
- Whoa, okay.
- Awesome.
Make a—
- Give me an advantage on this next.
- The deep pit of Rick
Diggins' existential abyss.
- Yeah.
- Kinda puts it all in perspective.
- I think it does.
I think there's a certain
amount of "Circle of Life"
sh*t that you get into
at The Watermelon Temple
where you're like, ah,
yeah, man, I guess we all
turn into mulch one day, right, bud?
And that grows a plant, and
somebody eats the plant,
and they poop it out, and it's all just—
- And then you're alive again, yeah.
- Thanks, Rick, I appreciate that, bud.
Helps me get centered, pal.
- Give me an investigation
check with advantage.
- sh*t.
Ooh, okay, 18.
- Hell yeah.
That is an exceptionally good roll.
You are a shadow here, and there is no,
you've been given this tech
from, TI's hooked you up,
so you—
suction up into the walls.
You start going through the vent.
- How would I get into the vent?
Is there—
- There's, they,
you literally can just scale
the wall in Max's room,
'cause he has a little computer area.
His computer desk is one of those things
that goes up against the wall, and then,
has shelves that go all
the way up to the vent.
And he's got so much sh*t
leaning against this stuff.
As you get up, there are
highways that go through the yard
and through secret passages and stuff,
that the stewards use to go
in between the other houses,
so these are like sort of
armed convoys of stewards
who trade with each other between houses.
With an 18 investigation, you
look at the amount of junk
in Max's room and the crack in the window,
and see, basically, an
unauthorized possibility of egress.
- Okay.
- However,
the vent is like solidly
screwed into the wall up here,
so this vent would have to become looser
for that to become a possibility.
- Or blowed up.
- Or blowed up.
- Or blow it up.
- Yeah, I can do that right now.
- Hell yeah.
Go ahead and give me—
- I say, I say.
"Hey, how do these bang snaps work?"
- So wait, is it big enough
for him to get through?
- Oh, no, the vent is enormous.
I mean, you're dwarfed by the,
the vent would be big enough for—
- Yeah, you can get through there.
- The vehicle, I think the
vehicle could get through there.
- Oh, okay, yeah, don't blow up.
All right, don't blow it up yet.
That would draw—
- And you could just slip—
- A lot of attention.
- You could shimmy your
way through the vents.
- Okay.
I'm gonna go ahead and
plant the bang snap.
I'm gonna go ahead and put it here.
- I don't think you can plant it, can you?
Don't you just throw it?
- Oh, is that what—
- You can plant it.
- Oh, you can plant it.
- Yeah, you can plant.
- Oh, okay, plant it.
- Okay, I plant it.
- Cool.
You are upside, you're suctioned
onto your feet upside down
in the vent, like hiding
the bang snap right near
like a critical screw.
Some dope "Mission Impossible" sh*t,
you're like banana robe, hood up,
a little Q-tip on your back,
you put the bang snap up there,
you get back down to your feet.
There is silence, the air
conditioning cycled off
about five minutes ago,
and it should be off
for a little while longer.
- Cool.
I get up ins.
- You begin to walk down
the tin of the air vent.
It is so empty and cold in here.
You have spent your entire
life in a warm, rich,
mulchy community, and
the stark alien coldness
of this massive vent fills
you with a greater sense
of unease than anything other
than Rick Diggins talking has felt.
- Okay.
- But you—
- This vent is the Rick Diggins of vents.
- Of vents.
- You move through, and we're going
with an 18 investigation,
you walk by another vent,
and you look through and clock
the inside of Dylan's room.
And you see down there,
they don't notice you,
a couple of guards stationed, some toys,
and ropes or something to lower themselves
down into Dylan's room, to get down there.
- They're stationed inside the—
- Inside the vent, kind of
like looking down at the room,
you can see Dylan's room.
You also see,
you also move down a little bit further,
and you see a deep shaft at the end,
with the rotating fan that
is not rotating right now,
but you just look death
in the face for a second,
and then, you see an area in the side here
that looks like it's
been spot-welded somehow,
but then, sliced through,
and you see the work
of bitty folk engineering,
and that in this vent,
there a hinged, closed
gate that opens here
in the side of the vent.
- Have I seen anything
that looks like vault yet?
- You suspect that through this giant door
is the vault.
You move closer down towards the fan,
and what you see down there is built,
literally with, into the vent,
are small planks of plywood and you see,
almost like switchbacks
on the side of a mountain,
is a bitty folk road
that they've constructed
in this central vent
of he air conditioning.
This looks like the guarded highway
that approaching vehicles
could come up through.
You go—
- So if we were gonna
come through in the car,
we're coming towards the
vent he just came through.
- Exactly.
- Got it.
- So in other words, in your approach,
where you're disguised as a vehicle
that is supposed to be here,
you could approach from this central vent
that must go down to, you're
guessing it probably goes down
to the main air conditioning unit.
And that's how stewards from other houses
get their vehicles into the house,
is they go to the main
air conditioner unit,
take this switchback road of plywood up,
but you see other checkpoints
and sh*t down there,
you see other, places like that.
- I'm relaying all this
back, in case I do get sucked
into the fan, I'm whispering,
like all right, I see a vent—
- Awesome.
You see all that.
So looking at that, the approach
doesn't trouble you too much.
An escape through here,
if the alarm got sounded,
would be, perhaps, lethal.
'Cause if that fan goes on, there's a lot
of highway going down,
and there's a long highway
coming to that shaft drop.
Look, with that 18 investigation,
looking back at the
initial room you were in,
given that there's just a very short drop
to the first shelf on
Max's desk in his room,
and then, next to it, there's
a plant that's kinda dying,
like a tall standing plant,
and he's got a coat rack
with a weird coat on it,
that the thing is hanging against,
you think that it would be
some pretty daredevil driving,
but there's actually an
unmonitored point of egress
through the vent that you
planted the bang snap at,
that if you could get a vehicle,
if you needed to beat feet
and get outta there fast,
that that way isn't even an official way,
it's like an improvised way
just 'cause of how messy
Max's room is.
- Okay.
- You stay hidden there for awhile,
long enough to see a vehicle approach.
You're a shadow, they do not see you
with that 24 stealth check.
- Do I see who's in the vehicle?
- Looks like other stewards—
- Okay.
- From a different house.
They roll up, they come to the door,
you see that they bang on
the little door in the side
of the air vent, the hinges
move, it switches open,
and you get a look at an open attic,
and wooden two-by-fours,
seas of pink insulation foam,
and a huge compound in
between the two-by-fours,
running with electricity.
You see the light of smartphones and sh*t
coming from inside this
thing, a glowing temple
to steward wealth and innovation,
and the outline of a towering lunchbox.
The vehicle moves in,
the door closes again.
The next day, I'm gonna
need another mech check.
The DC moves down to 20.
- 20.
I think I can do this.
I got a 13, plus eight is 21.
- 20, second day, the
vehicle is completed.
It is modded out.
- Ooh!
- TI, you have outdone yourself.
This is like two solid
days of gears cranks,
this, that, you have a
huge crossbow ballista
on the back of this thing,
'cause all the vehicles that approach here
have to travel through yards,
so it's not like the vehicles are low-key
that get to this vault.
They're like army vehicles, basically.
They're like, we've traveled
through open yard territory
to do business between houses.
So yours looks like a
military-grade vehicle
in this old school bus.
- This seat warmer button
makes this self-destruct.
- Oh, I love that.
- Do you know, if all the expl*sives
she's planted just so far
go off, we're all dead.
- Yeah.
Boomer, you pull shifts over
the next few days there.
You've got your run of the place.
That dirty 20, you're
pulling double shifts,
you come back night after night,
you're in the diner, giving
schematics, keys, plans,
everything you need.
I'm gonna go through now and
describe the vault to you
that we will see next week.
But you guys are gonna
hear about it right now.
So, the vault.
The vault is a combination
of art gallery and testament
to Felix's personal wealth,
his private quarters,
and basically, a insanely protected vault
of all of his most important
personal belongings,
and the things that he stole,
including this roll of quarters.
- His private quarters.
- He's got quarters in his quarters.
- He's got quarters in his quarters.
- Is the lunch box themed?
- The lunch box is themed after a movie,
"Darling, I've Greatly Reduced
the Size of Our Offspring."
- Oh, okay.
- Aw.
Oh, God.
- TM, TM, TM, TM.
- Darling.
- Darling!
- Darling, I've greatly reduced the size.
- Bad news, maybe good news,
don't know how you feel
about the children.
- Pardon me.
- Boomer comes back with all
this intel night after night.
Here is what your inside man brings you.
The, at that front is a loading dock.
The loading dock goes to a
little glass panel security booth
where a security guard checks
people in that come in,
to make sure they have
the right license plate,
that they're basically scanned in,
everything's good to go.
The hallways have pressure
plates in the floor
that are specifically attached to keycards
and how many people are signed in.
So if people are touching the
floor that haven't been swiped
into an area, they will get
spotted, will send off an alarm.
After this security booth,
there is a break room
for the many guards.
Those guards just go out on patrol.
You know, once a minute
or two, they just go out
and walk the vault.
There are multiple cameras throughout.
- What are these tiny cameras?
Just GoPros?
- Cellphones.
- Uh, no.
Cellphone cameras ripped
outta the cellphones, yep.
- Mm.
- Security booth,
guard break room, server room.
Past that is a surveillance room.
The hallway wraps even further around.
The end of the hallway is the door
to Felix's private quarters.
The hallway loops back around,
gets to the actual vault.
The vault is an enormous
vault containing a number
of incredibly precious pieces
that are like art collections.
That is rigged with lasers,
to trigger the alarm, if
anyone moves through them.
- Made outta those things that you use
to drive cats crazy.
- Yep.
All made out of those things
you use to drive cats crazy.
Then, if you can get
past all of those lasers,
and cameras and pressure plates,
and get to the actual vault—
- Pressure plates?
- Oh, the pressure plates
in the floor of the hall.
If you get to the actual vault itself,
the vault itself has three locks on it.
The three locks on the
vault are an electronic lock
that can possibly be overridden,
but it's an electronic lock.
There is a padlock.
The numbers are changed every single day,
and those numbers are known only to Felix
and are kept in his private quarters,
and then the last, the final
lock is an actual analog lock.
Felix wears the key around his neck.
- Oh, you've made it too easy, Brennan.
Ah, the solution is right in front of me.
- The server room is
accessible, potentially,
but also, if the root
administrative password is used,
it automatically triggers
an entire system shutdown
10 minutes after the password gets used.
So in other words, you've
got 10 minutes from the point
that you try to override that—
- Jesus Christ.
- For any of this to work.
Lasers, pressure plates,
Felix has those day's codes on him,
and then, after all of
that is said and done,
once you open the vault,
there's a roll of quarters,
that somehow, needs to get outside.
- Yeah.
- The panopticon was easier to get into.
- Can we just rob a bank and get quarters
from there instead?
'Cause there's less security
than this inch tall man
that's been posted up in his attic.
- His tiny tyranny.
- I bring that up.
Let's just steal, let's go to a bank.
- Right.
- We're real little.
They're not gonna see it coming.
- The closest bank is like
an Oregon Trail distance.
- All right, new quest, scrap this.
Get a bunch of fairy dust, let's go.
- Well.
- Crazy.
- I don't know.
- I feel bad for whoever
has to do that part of it,
'cause we've kinda done our,
the next guys that are coming in—
- Yeah, the next side quest.
- Yeah.
- For the next side quest,
they're gonna have to get into the vault.
That's like, ugh, I feel bad for them.
- Are you waiting for us
to be like, oh, I got it,
'cause you just gave, like, I don't know,
a lot of information.
- There's a lot of information there.
You guys are all at the diner.
The vehicle's all done, it's got—
- Oh, we're all at the diner?
- Yeah.
You guys have this—
- So Boomer has
to us catch up, Boomer's
just related this to us,
and we just sit in
silence, right, basically?
- We're all average—
- Brennan, do you want me
to do all that, do you
want, okay, I'll start.
- Just repeat exactly what he just—
- Okay, look, it's like part art gallery.
- Okay.
- It's part private quarters
with the private quarters.
- All right, so, I'm gonna
need a lot more fairy dust.
Okay, so that's a lot of information,
but we have to look at in sections.
We can't think about it all at once,
because otherwise, it's way too much.
So what we're really trying
to figure out is how do we get
something to this server room or someone,
shut down the security systems,
and then, in 10 minutes,
get to Felix's room, to get the codes,
get the key off of Felix
and up to the vent,
then get everything open and get
the roll of quarters out in 10 minutes?
So the good news is, if
we can't figure out a way
to shut down the server room,
we don't need to worry
about the rest of the stuff.
- Talking about the things
that are already solved,
sort of, the day, well, probably,
this is day number three,
so tomorrow night, you have
guys have the license plates
of a vehicle that is supposed to arrive.
- So getting to the loading dock, check.
- We can ostensibly do that without—
- Yeah.
- Much issue, okay.
- That'll be Rick driving the car.
- Rick driving the car.
- In disguise.
- As the face man, and
if we do it at a time
when Boomer is working,
security booth and break room
should be easy.
- Will it just be Boomer working,
or will it be two guards?
- There will, well,
security's all been doubled.
It'll be a lot of guards there.
- f*ck.
Are there people in the security room,
do we know how many?
- In the break room,
there's usually a couple
that then go out on shifts
to go patrol the gallery.
In the surveillance room,
there'll probably be a handful
of people that will not
be dangerous guards,
but will be technicians surveying footage.
- Okay.
- I have a thought for
at least one section.
What if we enlist The Incredible Dantez.
- Uh-huh.
- Yes, yes.
- He's an art dealer.
- Yes.
- He and I schedule a meeting with Felix
about a new piece of
artwork for him to buy,
very exclusive, only can go
through The Incredible Dantez.
While I am with Dantez, I
will take the key from Felix,
and I will send my unseen
servant to bring it to you,
to one of you somewhere
in, near the vault.
- Okay.
- Your servant's gonna be
unseen, but the key will,
I don't know if watching
a key float through—
- That is true.
- The security checkpoints.
- Also, we—
- Well—
- I'm pretty slow.
I don't think I will be
able to get it to you.
- If we can get the key ahead of time,
and get it on the bus,
then we won't see it go.
So if he is—
- Could we recruit—
- So if I can get the key—
- Somebody to help us?
- And the padlock code will
be in the room somewhere?
- Yes.
- Okay.
- Could we get someone to help us?
- Who?
- Minette?
- Minetta?
- I can't think of anybody
else who's gonna get closer
to Felix to get a key
from around his neck,
and would have access his room.
- I feel like we have a plan for the key,
I mean—
- I like the art dealer.
- Is there a persuasive reason
that you can come up with,
to need to meet him where his art is?
Is there a reason he would go for that?
I don't have one, or I'd be saying it.
- If you guys would like to,
this is almost kind of an insight check,
but I would also allow a
scheming roll for this.
If you wanna think about the things
that could be valuable enough to Felix
that would get you an
invite to his private vault,
you can make an insight
or a scheming check.
- My scheming, 21 total.
- 21?
- And I got something high, too.
- I'm not even gonna—
- I got 24.
- 24, on a scheming?
- Yeah, a scheming.
- Cool.
You know that Minetta can get close.
Definitely, he would take a
meeting with Agnes or Dantez,
and getting Agnes into the
room is probably a very,
you think getting Agnes
into the room with him
is a very smart idea
because whether it's getting
the key off from around
him, or not knowing
where this padlock code's
gonna be, Agnes will be able
to pilfer through stuff without
anybody being the wiser.
However, in terms of what
will make him let you come in,
God, while I want The
Incredible Dantez to be there,
TI, you know the one thing
that Felix wants more than a piece of art.
- Love?
- It was the fifth element.
- The whole time.
- It's not love.
- You have to try.
- The thing that Felix
wants more than anything
is sitting at this diner table with you.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- He wants Car-Go?
- He wants Car-Go.
- Yeah.
- I see.
- Do we have to—
- I love this.
- Use you as bait?
- All right, Bait-Car, get it?
- It's a good joke.
Then we freeze frame right there.
- We're in the car with Rick, right?
Like we have to get you
into the server room,
and me past the floor
plates or whatever, right?
This is what I wanna
figure out, is who is where
during what.
- We need to be in the car.
- We gotta be in the car.
- 'Cause we need to get
through the lasers
Catherine Zeta-Jones style.
- What you would know, Boomer,
is that crates are left
on the loading dock that are intended,
some crates just
literally just stay there,
if they're not that valuable,
and they get moved out on a shipment.
Like things from outta the
house that are not supposed
to stay in the vault
that long will just live
on the loading dock, and then,
get moved out with another shipment.
If things are intended for the vault,
a member of security brings them,
not into the gallery, but leaves them
at the end of the hallway by the gallery,
until—
- So you hide in a crate?
- 'Cause stuff needs to
come in and outta the vault
all the time, so crates are left there
until Felix has a moment to
actually go and go get somebody,
and open the vault and do
the lasers and everything.
- So they could—
- So we should have someone.
- They could be in the
crates, and just all the way
up to the vault without
having to worry about
the pressure plates—
- If you were able,
if you were able to sign in
through the security booth
and get in and not get
investigated or checked,
theoretically, TI and Bean
could come in a crate.
- So if they get—
- And there's no surveillance
in the vault?
- Oh, there is surveillance
in the vault.
The only, I think the only
place that doesn't have
a security camera in
it is the server room.
The server room is the only place
that doesn't have a camera.
- Felix's own bedroom has cameras on it?
- He's—
- He nasty.
He dino-nasty, yeah.
- If Rick is driving,
you two are in crates,
we get you close, 'cause
Boomer's at the security desk
when we go, and then, let's
say there is a distraction
with me, and while distracted,
you guys pop out of crates
and get to the server room,
and then, you get to the vault.
- Sounds good, and then, I'll—
- Why would that work
better than us getting
to the server room from the
truck in the first place?
Oh, no, it doesn't work that way.
- Yeah, 'cause the crates go
directly to the vault, right?
- Yeah.
- The crates do go
directly to—
- Doesn't the vault open up
to his room?
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, the crates do go
directly to the end of the
hallway, where they wait
before they go into the main
gallery with the vault in it.
- I see.
- If you're thinking about a way to get TI
to the server room first,
the cameras are directional,
so depending where Boomer let you,
it's possible that Boomer could move you,
either into the server room,
where there's not a camera,
or somewhere else where you,
it's possibly that if
you guys were careful,
and you directed where the focus
- Do you have
- and attention was happening—
- Like a sneaky tool,
like some sort of—
- I have thieves' tools,
and a dungeoneer's pack,
and mechanics' tools.
- I mean, like in your bag of tricks,
all your wonderful toys.
- What's a sneaky toy,
what kinda sneaky toy?
- Something that could
help you get to the room
without having to you know,
be in a box that somebody carries.
- I also have mage hand.
- That's cool, that's
helpful, but the main thing
is about you getting into
this, only the hallways
have pressure plates, so
if somebody could get you
into the server room,
then you wouldn't activate
pressure plates by coming outta the crate.
So the question is, can
someone who is allowed to
move the crate on its way to the gallery
into the server room long
enough for you to get out of it?
- They'd have to be awfully strong.
- That's our muscle.
So, Rick's driving the
bus, you two in crates,
you're at the security booth to meet them,
you unload the crates, you drop TI's crate
at the server room, you
drop his crate at the vault.
Then, I will create the
distraction to get to Felix's room
so that he can gloat over me,
and probably tell you to k*ll me, right?
And then, when she triggers,
we'll have the key with us,
because Agnes will have stolen it from him
from meeting him at Shoeby's earlier.
- Okay, great.
- And then, we'll have that key.
- And what about the
stuff from his quarters?
How do we get the combination
from his quarters?
- And get the padlock—
- All right,
we'll have three crates.
Agnes is in a crate,
Rick, Bean's in a crate.
TI's in a crate.
- Well, I don't, I mean, I'm
just saying, how do we get it?
How do we get?
I mean, we're talking about
his quarters in the attic.
- What if Agnes brings him
to Felix to curry favor?
- That's what I thought that
I was gonna deliver you.
- Oh, okay.
- And then, you could
browse around his room
for the padlock combination while also—
- And then he would be like—
- Trying to get the key.
- Yeah.
- So, it's, this is
actually gonna be you guys
arriving as two separate
unrelated parties in this case.
It would be Agnes showing
up with a gift for Felix—
- Mm-hmm.
- And then,
the rest of you arriving
with crate action.
- Yeah, Agnes might really die.
I mean.
- There's always
a self-destruct option.
- Oh, that's what'll happen
if you bring me in like you brought me
out of sleep.
- You love self-destruct,
don't you?
- But I won't be asleep.
- Oh!
- So that way, he won't
feel the need to tie me up
or anything that would the hope.
- Is, are you going to be
able to put me in the vault?
Like do you have vault
access past all three keys,
'cause if that's the case?
- I can take you to the vault.
- But not put me inside.
- He leaves the crate—
- He can't put you inside—
- The vault.
- He can get you as close as the gallery.
- And they might move the crate inside.
- But only Felix has the
authority to do that,
so the closest he can get you
is the edge of the gallery.
- So if we can get the key from him,
the codes from his rooms,
and then, in the server room,
remotely open the door,
then, we can have that
and then, Boomer needs to
get the roll of quarters
out into the bus, and Rick
needs to take the bus out.
- Can she shut down the
lasers from the server room?
- Make a, give me a tech check,
looking at the specs
that Boomer brings you.
- Let me ask you this.
Would the lasers burn
through a turtle shell?
- No, we're not gonna
risk his life like that.
- That's a nine.
That's a nat one, that's one's a nine plus 8, 17.
- 17 is not a 20, sadly.
You look at the specs.
The lasers are on a separate grid,
but you are able to crack,
you are able to crack
the code you would need
to punch in to stop the lasers.
That cannot be entered
remotely from the server room.
It has to be entered on
the electronic padlock
on the vault door.
So in other words,
coming out of the vault,
you could shut the lasers off.
Getting to the vault—
- This is best possible scenario.
I wanted to dance through
some lasers very badly.
- Coming out, but once
I shut off the system,
the pressure thing doesn't work anymore,
so once I shut it off, I
could go in the hallway.
- Yeah, that's what we're saying.
Once you shut it down, he
goes through, he turns it off,
he goes through it—
- You yell the code at me,
I get—
- Yeah, I yell it
through a stone, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
- Got it.
- Where's Rick all this time?
- Rick's on the getaway.
- Oh yeah!
We fully,
- He's staying safe.
- Listen, Rick as the disguise
guy is our ace in the hole,
that if sh*t goes down,
we have him at the front.
- Yeah, see, if things go real bad,
which I don't see how
they could from this plan,
if things goes real bad, then
I could convince everyone
I am a dinosaur, eh?
- We gotta put Rick in a box, too.
- Run, dinosaur!
- Very effective, grr, arg!
- Incredible.
Ooh, this heist is feeling real heisty.
- And also, foolproof.
- Foolproof.
- A foolproof plan.
- Geniuses, all of us.
- So everyone knows what they're doing,
Agnes is bringing Car-Go Jones.
Are you gonna ask The
Incredible Dantez to come along?
- Yeah.
- Cool.
Over at Shoeby's, you see
that The Incredible Dantez is there.
- "Well, if it isn't Agnes.
"I've been having a leisurely
day basking on this hot rock."
- Okay, wait, no, whatever bullshit—
- I have Syracuse
painted on my shell.
- Give me the whole scene
of him just on the rock.
How can I help you?
- So Incredible Dantez,
I know you met my friend
Bean the other day.
He's a pretty high jumper.
- Ooh, that little banana's
looking to get peeled.
- Oh my God.
- The worst.
- Is that Dantez?
- He's a teenager.
- What's happening, Dantez?
Hey, I'm old enough to know what's up.
- He says, "Ooh, hello,
my sweet little bumpkin.
"How's it going?"
- Cool, man, good.
Good as hell, you?
- Oh—
- Hell yeah.
- "I am relaxed right now."
- Cool, sorry I can't
be there in the flesh.
We're planning an art
project, and she's cool,
she's with me, she's cool.
- "Mm, yes, I would like
to see you in the flesh
"as soon as possible."
- I'll have my people
call your people, man.
- "If you want people there,
"we can arrange it."
Agnes—
- He's slowly
becoming hedonism boss—
- "So help me out, what's going on?"
- How would you like to get in
on kind of a one last job kinda deal?
- "I'm in."
- I have going on.
- "I'm fully in.
"Fully in, how 'bout that?"
- How 'bout that?
- "We're shell deep.
"Let's do this."
- Let's do it, Dantez.
- I'm so glad Dantez is in.
- "Let's do it, one last job.
"Time to turn and burn
it, what do you say?
"Go out in a blaze of glory?"
- So you guys knew each other before?
- Oh, yeah, of course we knew each other.
Dantez—
- Have you guys
had a relationship—
- He's at Shoeby's
all the time.
- Yeah.
- Oh, yes.
- A fairy never tells.
- Wonderful.
It is the night of the heist.
The Incredible Dantez
and Agnes, you see,
Dantez has reached out through his people,
gotten you an audience with Felix Flick,
Car-Go, you are catatonic,
as it would make sense to be.
If you had not been able
to acquire fairy dust,
you would've gone catatonic.
A vehicle begins to move up.
One thing that we have not
related to one another here
is that you guys never
took out the vehicle
with your license plate number
that is actually going to be coming.
- f*ck, no, yes we did.
- You know what?
I think we did.
- When I,
when I did all my mech,
that was on my mind.
- But I will say this, though.
Well, also, because that
vehicle is in a home
with other stewards and
everything else like that,
so not only do you have
that 10 minute shutdown,
you're gonna have to probably
just get to this location
like 10 minutes before
your scheduled time,
hope that everything goes rosy,
and know that there is a
vehicle with identical plates
coming up the highway behind you,
which adds even more of a
factor of time onto this.
There is the crate, Boomer,
you've been working there
all day, you're out by the loading dock.
Rick Diggins, you're behind
the wheel of this sweet rig
that TI's put together.
You've got the moochers
in a crate in the back,
you drive up to the loading dock,
I'm gonna need everybody
here to roll initiative.
- Ooh, ooh.
- And that's it for this
episode of "Tiny Heist."
- Oh!
- Catch you next time
and we'll see if we can
get these guys into the vault.
We are here at the vault,
a memorial to greed
and the ability of the
stewards in this house
to exact their terrible criminal will.
Here's the plan.
I go to into Felix's bedroom and f*ck him.
While I'm doing that, you get the plans.
- Ooh, your muscles.
- Not bad, right?
- Can I jam the cameras with
an electromagnetic force?
- Can you make up a
bunch of bullshit magic
in the middle of the heist?
The only thing that I responsibly can do
to take care of the people I
love is to take him outside
and burn his f*cking face off.
- I just wanted to state the obvious,
that it's a 25% chance that we get it.
sh*t.
- f*ck.
- All right, the whole plan is off.
It's like looking up and
seeing a nuclear weapon.
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04x03 - Scheming and Scoring Fairy Dust
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.