- Welcome, one and all, to
another exciting episode
Of "a crown of candy."
I am your humble game
master, brennan lee mulligan.
With me, as always, our intrepid heroes.
Say hi, intrepid heroes.
- Hi, intrepid heroes.
- Oh, a clean one, oh, i love it-
- We're not mad at you anymore.
- How about it?
- No, i'm just mad at emily.
- Emily's back.
- Incredible, we open our
adventure here in alpine village
In the great stone candy mountains.
You have appeared in the center
Of a circle of stones
in the sweetening path,
Hidden away from sight in this village.
We have not rolled initiative yet
Because combat has not started yet.
As you appear in the circle
here, there's a
Little whiff of sweet smell,
but no light or sound.
There's some dull glow to the runes,
But the runes are not glowing brilliantly,
They're not casting light.
There's a
little bit of a slight glow.
I would like perception
checks from all of you.
- Can i roll with
advantage 'cause i got yak?
- Yes, you may.
- I got a 21.
- Oh, god.
- 20 not nat.
- 17.
- 20 not nat?
- 20 not nat, as well.
- Okay, sharp perception surrounds you,
Lets you know that you
are, hold on one second.
- I see a peppermint stool.
- Yes.
- That's what you get.
- The stones are glowing slightly-
- You need to pick out what you see.
- There's magic here.
- You look around and
see the burnt remains
Of the village of buzzybrook,
High in the great stone candy mountains.
Those who got a 20 peer
through the cracks.
First of all, you guys have a,
Anyone that rolled a 20 or
higher with a perception check
Can react first, not
surprised to the conditions.
And you can also anticipate
that i am about to ask you
To make a stealth check
if got a 20 or higher,
Because you need to
remain extremely hidden
As ceresian soldiers with weapons drawn
Force candian villagers
into the town square.
- Can you cast pass without trace-
- Yeah.
- Okay, you cast pass without trace?
I am going to need a group stealth check,
First and foremost.
- Yeah, you all have plus
20 for this entire battle.
- Plus 20?
- Plus 20?
- Oh, sorry, plus 10, sorry,
i also have a plus 10.
I don't even need to roll,
right, if i have two plus 10s?
- I got a 12.
- Unless it's a nat one?
- Who else has a nat one?
- I got a nat one.
- 18.
- I got a 28.
- Let's go around, what'd you get?
- 26.
- 26?
- 12.
- 12.
- Technically an 11?
- But a nat one?
- A nat one.
- A 29.
- 21.
- 28.
- Okay, so more than half of us beat 20,
So the group check passes,
you are hidden in shadow-
- Sorry, are we hiding?
- You look out through the slats of wood.
This is an open circle of
sucrosi standing stones
In the middle of buzzybrook.
The building that was built
Around it is a lovely little
rustic wooden structure
That is known sometimes as a sugar hut.
It is effectively a thing
that the people do up here
To appease bulbian
missionaries who are like,
"oh, pagan standing stones
in the middle of the town,
This absolutely can't happen."
And they're like, "oh, yeah,
nothing but a sugar hut,"
And they just leave their standing stones
In the middle of this wooden structure.
So it's sort of a covert temple,
although really only covert
If you're passing through.
If you know that it's
there, it's open knowledge.
You are standing in the middle of this,
And caramelinda, who i
assume is getting help
Actions from theo and other people,
Is managing to hold onto the
spell all right right now.
It looks like she won't
really have to start working
In earnest until you guys sort of move.
You hear shouting in ceresian,
As they muscle the
candy villagers forward.
Anyone with a 20 or higher,
tell me if you're trying
To spot anything in particular.
You obviously are very limited
'cause you're looking out
Through slats of wood and
stuff, but is there anything
You're looking for in particular?
- I'm looking for what seems
most important to them,
Like an area, maybe this hut over here,
If it's being guarded.
- Yeah, so first of all, the thing
That's the most important is the gallows
Right in front of you.
They're empty right now, but
you see two bulbian priests
Standing in front, two bulbian
paladins to either side,
And some ceresian
heralds blowing trumpets.
It is pitch black everywhere,
there are braziers
Of burning coals that cast
light in about a 20 foot radius.
- But it's dark right now?
- It's dark right now.
- Oh, hell yeah.
- Can we tell if people
are using see in the dark?
- No one got a nat 20,
so i don't think you,
You don't see eye shine, you don't see
That little flicker of
eye shine that would-
- Can i do another roll
to see if i nat 20, just-
- Give me a nature check.
- Oh, cool, i get pretty
good on nature, a seven.
16.
- You don't think everyone has it.
Some of them might, these sort
of church crossbow priests
In the back may.
But other than that, what
seems important is you just see
A smattering of food here,
And a glint of gold back over here.
Anyone else that got a 20
on that perception check,
Let me know what you're looking for.
- I guess i'm looking for
any sign of duke jawbreaker
And the rest of his family.
- Duke jawbreaker, with a 20?
- I think i got a 21.
- Oh, a 21?
You see, the most likely
places that you think
Are there are guards at
this commander's tent,
This ceresian commander's tent,
There are guards at a little candy cottage
That has not been burned over here,
And there is someone, you
can't see through the tree,
But there's somebody over there guarding
At another far cottage.
- Okay.
- Is there anyone in this one?
- You can't see inside,
there's a dull light.
So the burned out buildings
only have the light
Of the braziers being cast,
The three cottages that remain standing
Have some flickering lights in them,
But only dim candlelight.
- Okay, so it's possible
they're being held prisoner
In those buildings.
- I also got a 20.
- Yeah.
- I'm just wondering, looking around,
Is there, do i see
anything that could be used
As a distraction if i ever
wanted to draw attention
Away from this hut?
- As a distraction?
Anything you see on the board is there.
You don't see anything that's
an obvious distraction.
You can hear a meep outside
That's stabled next to a
drinking trough of cola,
And anything you see is what
it is that you're looking at.
Do you know what i mean?
If you see it on the
board, that is what it is-
- And we see people getting
dragged to the gallows here?
- Not dragged, but what you actually see
Is they're not being, they're
not manacled or enchained,
But they are being marched
to the town square,
Where they are being formed into a crowd.
- Ah, well i think we
might be seeing your uncle
In a moment.
- Should we hold out until
it's a little bit more clear
What's going on here?
- I think we know what's going on here.
I think we should act quickly.
- I have a question, and i
don't know if you're gonna make
Me roll for the answer, but
everything being guarded
Is being guarded by bread,
from what i can see,
Except for this one, which has veggie.
Does that mean that that's-
- You notice, that's a
very sharp question to ask,
And liam, with that
incredible dark vision,
Stares out into the night.
Ceresian banner, ceresian
banner, not imperial.
This is the banner of ceresia,
This is of the imperator ciabatta.
Imperial banner of the concord,
Banner of the bulbian
church by that cottage.
- Wow.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- What do you think that means?
- Is this the same french
fry guy from the church?
- Bonathan flashfry, absolutely.
- Bonathan.
- Wasn't he in my-
- Your fight?
- Fight?
- Yeah.
- I could have ended him there.
- Okay, well-
- Anything more, and you're
gonna have to get closer
To check things out.
- I think if there's-
- The doors of this cottage are closed?
- Yes.
- But are they locked,
or are they just closed?
- They are locked from the outside.
- Okay, i mean, i can, can i
pick this back lock over here?
- Normally you couldn't,
but because you don't have
To be on the same side of
the door, you absolutely can.
- Great.
- Cool.
- And there's open slats in the boards,
So you can literally
put your thieves tools
Out through a slat, walk them
around with your mage hand
To the other side of the
door, and get to work.
- Great, it's like an escape-
- These are shitty country locks.
These are only a dc 15,
these are farm locks.
- I do not make a 15.
- Can i give her a help action?
- Yes, you can.
- Great.
I don't like this, but i'll take it.
Okay, that one makes it.
- What does saccharina do
to give some arcane help
In this instance?
- I think i say, "i see
you, little sister."
- Wild.
Which door are you unlocking with-
- The back one, not the front one.
- Okay, you're not trying to
get into the crowd of people?
- No, no, no.
- You, go ahead and
give me a stealth check.
- Okay.
It's so high, 25.
- Okay.
The lock comes undone,
and you manage to open
That door without making a noise.
Also, let me see if there's a
brazier anywhere near there.
The closest braziers near
to you are by the doors
Of these cottages, but
the light doesn't shed,
So the back entrance
Of that is actually in darkness right now.
- Great.
- What is our plan?
- Can i, i'd like to look
at caramelinda and just say,
"i'd like to cast a spell on you,
So i just wanted to get
consent before i did that."
- That's hot.
- Liam, you don't know what hot is.
- I don't, and i don't wish to.
I'm really just looking for love, romance.
- I message to liam, "she sucks, right?"
- Yeah.
Oh, sorry i said that out loud.
- You see that caramelinda
looks at you and says,
"go for it, whatever
you want to do to me."
- I take out my winterscoop
and i cast wall of ice
To make an ice dome
around her to help her-
- Oh, awesome, how big of an
ice dome are you creating?
- I would like to-
- Like just personal, for her?
- I think i'd like to
maybe cast it over us all,
Or i cast it big enough that we could...
No, pretty much just over her, i think.
- Cool, you ice her into a corner
Behind one of the standing stones
And basically take a moment to sculpt it
And create a personal
little fortress for her,
Just to hold onto the spell.
- Yeah.
- Sweet.
- So you hear a muffled,
"it's cold as hell in here."
- Oops, i create bonfire inside.
Oops, i put the bonfire out.
- It's good how it is,
it's good how it is.
- Can i minor illusion a sweater?
- Not a big angora fan, but this is okay.
You create the ice fortress,
yeah, caramelinda is protected
With this wall of ice within the stones,
And the backdoor is open.
For those that got a 20, you
see those banners, as well.
You can see that these
guys are gearing up,
The paladins go on either
side, the priests are looking
Like they're about to begin speaking.
Here's the thing, caramelinda
is gonna have to start
Concentrating very hard in a moment.
You see, there's a lot more
going on in this village
Than at first meets the eye.
This appears to be a victory meeting
'cause of all these banners flying here.
The fact that there's
an imperial, bulbian,
And ceresian banner
all flying side by side
Means that a lot of resources
have been gathered here.
You see a commander's tent,
You see some sort of golden
glittering light over here.
There's people over here, as well,
And there's whatever's in
these cottages, as well.
There appears to be, other
than simply this gallows,
Quite a bit hidden away in
the little town of buzzybrook.
With that, i'm gonna
ask you guys what it is
That you're going to do.
- I want to run with this stealth check,
Or whatever, to look into the window
Of this house right here.
- Okay, if you're going to leave
And disappear into the darkness,
You can't be seen in the dark.
Are you saying anything before you go?
Are you guys planning
to coordinate anything-
- We should check out
all these little houses-
- I have the most-
- Yes, why doesn't liam go
and look in the windows-
- I can almost not be seen.
- I can also because i have dark vision.
- All right.
- Great, let's do it.
You and i.
- You go to that one-
- Could both of you guys coordinate
And just sh**t this fry dude?
- Let's not sh**t anybody yet,
let's look in the windows.
- We're just gonna get intelligence.
- Let's look in the windows.
- Okay.
- Cool.
- See you soon.
- Cool.
- Okay.
It's gonna be per house, so go ahead
And give me the first, as you
guys slip out the back door,
I'm gonna need stealth
checks from you each time.
It's not a group stealth check this time,
So if one of you bombs out,
you b*mb out, go ahead-
- But i have yak, right?
- You have yak, giving you help action.
- And you have pass without a trace.
- And i have pass-
- Pass without trace.
- Yeah, 39.
- 30.
- Cool.
Liam and ruby vanish into the night.
This is so fun, to do non
combat board interaction.
Go ahead and-
- Oh, i'm going to this one.
- Oh, you go to this one.
You go over here, you go over here.
I'm gonna get yak for you, as well.
- Thank you, my baby.
- If you, also, are
you, you're taking pains
To avoid the light of
those braziers, correct?
- Yeah.
- Liam, you skulk through
the burned-Out house.
Ruby, you light-Footedly
sneak past this meep
Over to the side here.
You are still 20 feet away from...
Actually, you're gonna
need to be a little,
Like one further back to not,
The light kind of comes right here.
Both of you can kindly remove those roofs
And hand them to me.
- The carrot, i think.
- No, not the carrot.
- Okay, good, all right,
False alarm.
- That's the onion man.
- Sorry for yelling.
- Ah, that f*cking onion man.
- Go ahead and throw
that back on that house.
- This is jet's former lover.
- Oh, yes, the avocado.
- The ceresian-
- The ceresian.
- Yeah, the ceresian captain guy,
And then there's somebody tied up.
There's a lady tied up, a blue lady?
- Is it plumbelina?
- No.
- What you actually see back there,
Go ahead and give me
perception checks, each of you.
- Okay.
- But still-
- 22.
- 22.
- Incredible.
Liam, you see the archbishop
oliver onionpatch,
Who you remember from the m*ssacre,
Or the attempted m*ssacre
and the death of lapin
At the cathedral of saint arugula.
He is here tending to church business,
Writing furiously, writing
away in his little book
With bonathan flashfry out at the front.
Let me see, one second.
You see, looking in the window,
You see he is going over
notes that show pictures
Of terrifying f*cking monsters,
Alchemical constructions
based on something
That you never got to see in person.
But it looks like the notes
Of something that's written
partially in ceresian,
And you see schematics of
constructs, w*r engines,
Things like the archmage
lazuli was talking about
Back in her day, and even a little page
That seems to have
schematics for the creation
Of a liquid dagger.
- Can i, without being detected,
cast hunter's mark on him?
- I'm gonna ask for another stealth roll.
- Okay.
Ayy 19.
- Well, plus 10.
- Plus pass without trace.
- Oh, stealth, then 22, or 32, yeah.
- Your peppermint eyes
here in the high mountains
Of your homeland gleam
with a predatory hunger,
And you feel something
bestial and primal within you.
And the archbishop is unaware
That you have marked him as your prey.
- f*ck vegetables.
- Ruby.
You gaze in to see
commander constano grissini
Speaking to a woman who is
wearing loose green robes
With candian sort of spiritual
paint and things on her body,
And green minty leaves growing
from the side of her face.
- Ah, spearia.
- Am i within 120 feet of
liam, or any, or the candy hut?
- Within 120 feet of liam?
You are within 120 feet
of liam, absolutely.
- I message to liam, "liam,
i think your mom is in here."
- I message back everything
that i saw to her,
And i explain in detail these monsters
Or something that's in ceresian.
- Oh, god, is that that grissini guy?
He seemed like a good
guy, but i guess he looks,
I don't like him.
- That's gross.
- You recognize that oliver
onionpatch is working off
Of the primogen alfredi's,
that ciabatta has passed
Along all of her notes
to the bulbian church,
And they have expanded on her work.
- Can i message to theo all of that stuff?
- Yeah, through the slats of the church,
You can message all of that.
You guys have that information now.
You guys are also,
you're in position there,
Hidden in the darkness.
Those of you in the center there,
What is it that you are doing
while they're doing that?
- I'm just waiting to pounce, but-
- I think i've got eyes on the
gallows, trying to make sure
That i know, we understand
what's happening there.
- I have one question,
if i cast wall of ice,
If i cast a concentration
spell for my staff,
Do i need to concentrate?
- You need to concentrate
on it, yeah, absolutely.
- Then i guess i'm just,
i think right now i'm just
In protecting caramelinda
mode, even though everyone's
Been really mean to me.
- You see that gooey,
who is here with you.
So you also, your allies
here, you have gooey,
Swifty, and manta ray jack with you here.
Gooey reaches out and just
starts rubbing small circles
On your shoulder and going,
"your majesty, it's f*cked up."
- Yeah, they really obviously
talk out loud about me,
As if i'm the mean girl
just 'cause i talk this way,
But they're behaving like the mean girls.
- Honestly-
- Like even my own father
is kind of behaving like a-
- What are you talking about?
I said a nice, i said
very nice things to you.
- But you literally
just had an interaction
With ruby where she said, "she sucks,"
And you were like, "i know."
- She's my daughter, i
have to be supportive.
I love her very much,
i support you, as well.
I'm trying to support everybody.
It's very hard to be a father.
You know what-
- Guys, there is a noose out there.
Everyone be quiet.
- You see, swifty looks around.
- Don't do anything, swifty.
- Shut the f*ck up.
- Hurt people hurt people,
that's all i'm saying, all right?
- Shh!
- Your voice really cuts through.
- What?
- Okay, could everyone
just stop criticizing
Everything about my people?
- Wow.
Wow.
- Understood.
- Although i do kind of agree-
- Yes, okay, we can go in on swifty,
But we need to do it alone.
- Oh, sorry-
- I think i want to message back to ruby,
I guess, and say that
maybe one of you come back
And the other one check
out the other house
Before the rest of us move?
We're all gonna make
a lot more noise than-
- Yeah, let's figure out this last house-
- If i, if you message
me, can i message back?
- Mm-Hmm.
- Yes.
- If you have, oh yeah.
- No, even if you don't have it, yeah.
- And yeah, you have, you can reply back.
- It's a channel.
- Can i say, "i have a plan?"
- Can you say what the plan is?
- Do you want to tell us what the plan is?
- Yeah, okay, you're gonna, come here.
- Nobody can hear us, it's a message.
- Come over to where i am.
- No, i can't, there's lights in the way,
And these guys will see me.
- I mean, it's a good plan.
- Tell me the plan-
- Marching out from the
commander's tent in chains,
Duke joren jawbreaker is led to the noose
By a vegetanian knight, and
the priests begin reciting
The charges against
him and his last rites.
- Theobald, you message liam and jet,
And you get, figure out what to do-
- For the crimes of
treason, witchcraft, heresy.
- Go to the house.
- Open w*r against the concord of calorum.
- I cast disguise self on myself,
And i become this onion, and i-
- Is disguise self also concentration?
- I don't know-
- It's not.
- It's not, okay.
- I have a question, is
his head in the noose?
- Yes, they have put that around him.
- Can i just attack the
noose with guiding bolt
To try and sever the noose?
- You, absolutely-
- Well, that might be kinda obvious right?
- Otherwise he's going to get hung.
They're literally reading his last rites.
- We have, i mean,
I think we have the time.
- Yeah, we have the time
That this will take.
- Let's go run and do
this while he's getting
His last rites.
- He's got a big, beefy neck.
- Cool.
I'm going to say, the positions
you guys are in right now
Are the positions you're gonna begin in.
You hear the noise, "hereby
sentence you to death."
And you hear the noise of the
trapdoor open, joren drops.
- Misty step, i want to grab-
- I'm gonna need everybody
here to roll initiative.
- Dude, that's why i said that.
- That re-Roll...
- All right.
- Oh, yeah.
- 24.
- 19.
- f*cking hell.
- Seven.
- Seven, as well.
- 19.
- Oh my god, we're rolling the same today.
We got those lockets.
- Yeah, those lockets.
- Me and my brother, liam.
- Yeah.
In twin speak.
- So here's the deal,
You guys are gonna get a surprise round.
- Oh sweet.
- Sick.
- They do not know that you are here,
So we're gonna go through initiative
With all of them under
the surprised condition,
And y'all do your thing.
- Sweet.
- Cool, so let's go ahead
and go around the table,
What are your initiatives?
- 19.
- Liam is a 19, great, what-
- 24, alert feat.
- Sick.
- Rolled a nat 19.
- Seven.
- Saccharina is seven.
Ruby?
- 19.
- Amethar?
- Cinque, five.
- Cumulous?
- Seven.
- Awesome, then i'm going to
roll for, that's gonna be-
- This is the part where
brennan does a bunch of math.
- Now i'm gonna do a bunch of math.
You guys are welcome to
talk if you want to talk,
But i'm gonna do a bunch of math.
- I could, i mean, i could
hold, or do you think
It's, if i misty step, then
at least i get in the mix,
And he won't get-
- Yeah.
- Can you hold-
- He's a member of the rocks family-
- Is everyone going in there,
can we talk about that?
- I think it's just-
- I think i would like to go in first,
If you can hold your reaction-
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- 'cause i'm gonna
scare a bunch of people.
- So should we just hold,
is he gonna die?
- Not in the first turn.
- Isn't he a barbarian?
- Well, we have a surprise round.
- Oh, it doesn't matter,
we have a surprise round.
So are you gonna f*ck us
up if we go before you?
- Yeah.
- Oh, okay.
- If you were in the 30
foot radius, that i get to.
- Oh.
- So-
- We could hold our turns until
after you, if that's what-
- If you're physically gonna be there-
- It doesn't affect me,
i can go before him.
- I can do whatever, too,
yeah, if we're over here.
- It's just you, i think.
- Do we just all have to make
A fear check?
- I mostly just want to see
What's in here, i think
i'm gonna use my turn.
- If you're in 30 feet, you
have to pass a dc14 check.
- Of what?
- Wisdom.
- What's 30 feet look like here?
Five, 10, 15...
Okay, yeah, yeah.
- I bet it's like that.
That's my guess, i don't know.
- Okay, yeah, yeah, i
should be fine if i go
On this 30 foot radius.
- I'm so excited.
- Do i go meet grissini
Before he gets to the b*ttlefield itself?
- And these people are all-
- 'cause he gets a lot
of, he bumps a lot of,
He bumps allies.
- Yeah, those, i mean,
i feel like saccharina's
Gonna do a sh*t ton of damage
to these masses back here,
So she's best served-
- I was thinking that i would go,
'cause these are all bad guys, right?
We want to go after all of them.
- Are the people right there bad guys?
- Not these candy people.
- Not the candy people.
- There's a chocolate
guy, and a jawbreaker-
- If they're here enjoying the gallows-
- No they're being forced to watch.
- No, they were forced out.
Yeah, they're the villagers
who were dragged out to watch.
- So you guys have got that, i'll go try
And head off grissini and fry guy?
- That's a pretty good idea.
- Great, ooh, let's go to f*cking work.
- So, but all these guys are bad,
All the military guys are bad?
- Oh, yeah, all those, it's the ceresian-
- I'm so excited to
finally use my rogue sh*t.
- I'm real low, so i'm going to be-
- Yeah, i think it's only
you that has to hold,
'cause you got a seven, right?
- So there's a chance ciabatta's in there.
- So you're going on the
same, at the same time as zac,
Anyway, so it's just, you
would have to hold an action.
- I think it's, yeah-
- To ready an action, 'cause me and liam-
- Are we worried at all
that jawbreaker would die
During the surprise round at all?
Should i just do it right away?
- He would be too much of
an as*h*le if he k*lled him
During the surprise round, right?
- There are also other people to save.
- I don't think that they'll be able go-
Won't we each, we'll each get a round?
Oh, but you're saying right
after the surprise round-
- 'cause if i go at initiative
seven or something, he might-
- I can also go get him, though.
- But i can, too, i'm at 24.
So the question is can cumulous
still do his fear thing-
- But i can get him and get out of there,
Is what i'm saying.
- I can actually move.
- Yeah-
- 'cause misty step
Is just a bonus action.
- Yeah, you can misty step
And then move.
- Yeah.
- I can just get, yeah, i can just move.
- I was just gonna, 'cause
i have thunder step,
So i was gonna literally
use my whole action
To get over there and then
thunder step and bring him back
And do some damage there.
- I feel like you can do a
f*ck ton of damage, though.
- I mean, with all these
innocent bystanders,
That kind of gets in the way of-
- There's a bunch of dudes here.
- Yeah, but my spells are area damage.
- Okay, whatever you think.
- A lot of innocent people, actually.
- Yeah, that's what i'm saying.
- But not behind the gallows-
- Not behind, you gotta do
gallows i behind, i guess.
- Yeah, i'm just saying
that i can do that.
- What are you gonna order
gooey and swifty to do?
- Oh, i'll let them act
on their own accord.
- Right, yeah.
- Yeah.
- We also-
- I'm not that kind of queen.
- Would you rather thunder step,
Or would you rather do something else?
- I think i'm just intimidated
'cause you keep saying
How much damage i can do,
And i don't know that, i
don't know that i necessarily
Will live up to that precisely.
- No, i'm just saying that i can't do-
- 'cause thunder damage is
one of the, thunder step
Is one of the ways i would do damage.
- The best i can hope for
is to hit on two attacks,
Which is not very much damage.
- That's a lot of initiative.
Incredible.
- Do you have dark vision?
No?
- No.
- Joren snaps.
The very first thing i'm gonna
roll is a death saving throw
For joren, that's number one.
We're gonna do box of doom for this.
- Oh, 'cause he's making saving throws.
- He's making saving throws,
right out of the gate.
- Great.
- Well.
- Now we know.
- Duke joren jawbreaker
at the end of a noose.
Liam, it's been a long time
since you've seen your father,
His thick, crystalline beard,
cape, the jawbreaker mace.
First death saving throw.
13, that's a success.
He goes unconscious as
he
As his legs kick from underneath him.
That is going to be first
in the initiative order,
That's going to be theo.
- Can i misty step to the
gallows and cut the rope?
- Awesome, that's going
to be, so you're gonna go.
Grab you here, you're
gonna do your movement
To get to this last spot,
is that within 30 feet?
The answer is of course, why
wouldn't you be that fortunate?
That is exactly 30 feet.
Princess flashes forward and
appears at your side with you,
Go ahead and make an attack roll.
It's very simple, the rope is ac 12,
It's got eight hit points.
- Okay, sweet.
Just in case, i'll have princess help me.
Princess, bite me and inspire me.
Ooh, good thing i did
that, i rolled a one,
But also a 23.
- Cool, she's gotta beat 12 hit points.
I'm sorry, what'd i say, eight hit points.
- Okay.
I didn't do it, seven damage.
I have two attacks.
- There you go.
- All right.
- Thank god.
- Can you-
- Oh wait.
You know what?
Can i use my cantrip,
my green flight blade?
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Cool, so that would be another d eight.
- Cool.
Although, actually, if
you do that, you won't get
Your second attack.
- Oh, i do, because of
an eldritch knight thing.
- But it makes it a bonus action
and you've used misty step.
- No, green flame blade
is not a bonus action,
It's an action.
- That would be if i made a second attack.
- But w*r magic, which is your thing,
Let's you make a second
attack as a bonus action.
- Right.
Got it, i'm just going, i'm
just gonna use green flame blade
And not do a second attack.
- Okay, cool.
- So no matter what i do it,
'cause i did 10 damage, so-
- Great.
As joren drops, the trumpets blare.
The priests smirk,
And in a flash of sucrosi
light, sir theobald gumbar,
The knight of north-Gumbia
And lord commander of the
tartguard severs the rope
And joren drops through the
trapdoor underneath the gallows.
I mean, that's where,
that's how that works.
- I have to say, i got him,
I can do it.
- All right.
- Hell, yeah, that-
- And then i'm going to
use more of my movement
And get, f*ck, where should i run?
- Can you run that way, and-
- Go down and-
- All right, i'm gonna
run over to this house.
- I think that's a good move.
- Cool, you were here,
so that was five, 10-
- No, that was a misty step.
- That was misty step.
- You had to get to the doorway
to be able to clear 30 feet.
- Oh, got it, okay.
- So that's, that was five, 10, 15.
You got 15 feet of movement left.
- Okay, 15 feet, whatever
gets me closest to here.
- So you're gonna go-
- Can you jump down into that hole, too?
Then you'd have a little bit of cover.
- Oh, should i just jump
into the hole with him?
- I-
- Well, you're going to
get fear cast on you.
- She can't get both of you out, yeah.
- Okay, cool.
- I can't get both of you out.
- Cool.
- And these veggie knights
can't take reactions
Because they are surprised,
Can't imagine being more surprised
Than these guys are right now.
That's a shocking thing to have happen.
Incredible, that is going to be...
Grissini hears, you, ruby, watch grissini
Hear something outside.
Can't take any actions
'cause he's surprised,
But he comes out of
the surprise condition,
First person to know that something-
- Yeah, he's alert.
- He's a very alert guy, yes.
Liam, that is you.
- Okay, i am going to...
f*ck it. Okay.
I'm gonna run up to the door.
And what is, if i just want
to bump fry guy out of the way
And enter the place, is
that an opposed athletics?
Would that take my action?
- Would that take your action?
You would have to use
an attack getting him,
You would have to use a shove to-
- Even with my high
stealth, there's no way
To kind of sneak behind him into the door?
- You wouldn't be in darkness,
You would just be in the light.
- Is he using anything on his eyes?
'cause then i'm not, i can't-
- No, but he's not using dark vision.
He's just next to a
flaming brazier of coals.
- Can you just k*ll that onion
person through the window?
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah, sneak attack.
- I mean, yeah.
- He don't know you're there.
- I'm trying to think
of how, sh**ting through
An unopened window.
- You are an assassin.
- I would say, you're an assassin?
I would say you just have
disadvantage on the first attack,
But you have advantage on
all your attacks right now,
So it would just be a straight roll,
To adjust for firing
through panes of glass.
- Okay.
- Right?
- So the total-
- Or-
- Total, i get three attacks,
can i just roll all three?
Would they all be flat?
- Only the first one would
get that disadvantage
'cause after the first one,
You shatter the glass window.
- Okay, cool.
- Go ahead and move, so you're,
which window are you firing
Through, there's one-
- The one right in front of
me, right here on the side.
- So you're literally
looking him in the face
And he can't see you because the interior
Of his window is reflecting
his own candlelight
That he's writing from.
- This is "game of thrones."
- Oh, god, that's so scary.
- Yeah, you are a f*cking
spirit of the dark woods
And move up with your crossbow,
Which you still have to name.
And go ahead and move your
figure up to the window.
- Okay.
- You're hidden in the murky shadows
On the other side of the
corner from the brazier.
Go ahead and make your first attack roll.
- Okay, my first attack
is a nat one, holy sh*t.
- Oh, no.
You shatter the window, miss horribly,
And he is alerted to your presence.
- Okay.
- You get two other attacks.
- Okay, the person guarding
the door isn't alerted, right?
- He's alerted too, on a nat one, he heard
The glass shatter, as well.
- Goddammit, okay, i take a
dash as my cunning action.
- Okay.
- Can you keep attacking, though?
- You do have two more attacks.
- Just sh**t this dude.
- Yeah, sh**t him, k*ll him, f*ck him up.
- It doesn't make any
more difference, yeah.
- Yeah, you're right, i
thought that, wait, one second.
Yeah, i just don't have any
of my assassin advantage
Or anything to crit on this dude.
- Now you still do, you
still have advantage
Because he hasn't acted,
and you still auto crit
Because he's surprised.
It's just that now you've
made, your nat one,
You've made a noise,
you've alerted people,
They know something's going on.
- Oh, then yeah, definitely, okay.
So two more attacks on him, that's one.
Nat 20.
- Nat 20.
- And then, yeah, 18 plus 10, that's 28.
- Truly insane, let's go.
- Okay.
- Remember when we all
used to cheer for nat 20s?
Now it's expected.
- I don't want you guys to do it a lot
Because i'll get numb to them.
- Okay, so this is gonna be
2d10, plus 2d8, plus 4d6, plus seven.
- I think it's actually more
than that 'cause i crit.
I critted on both of them-
- This is already crit,
you automatically crit-
- As an assassin.
- As an assassin-
- Yeah, so that's two crits, right?
Those were different attacks-
- Oh, wait, no, every attack on this guy
Is a crit, no matter what.
- Yeah, yeah.
- So you don't, you're
already doubling your dice
'cause you're going-
- So the nat 20 didn't mean anything.
- The nat 20 didn't actually
mean anything this time
Because it's automatically a crit.
- But that would be, i'm
rolling a d10 for the damage.
I'm rolling a d8, and then i'm
rolling with a sneak attack-
- 2d6, exactly, so that
1d10, plus 1d8, plus 2d6
Becomes 2d10, plus 2d8, plus 4d6.
- And you could do that twice.
- You could do, oh, yeah, so sorry.
So actually it's 4d10, plus
4d8, plus 8d6, plus 14.
- Let's do that all at the same time.
Do you need some d10s?
- Yeah, i got it.
I got it all.
I had already premeasured it.
- That's for two attacks?
- Yeah, so, and then i take
one of those out, yeah-
- Oh, sorry, it's not 8d6,
You only apply sneak attack once per turn.
- Right.
- So it's 4d10 plus...
And the d8 is only on one
attack per dread ambusher.
You're not gonna k*ll
all my guys right away.
So it's 4d10, plus 2d8,
Plus 4d6, plus 14, and that's
a reasonable amount of damage.
- Plus, sorry-
- This is like calculus.
- Sorry, plus 4d6?
- Yeah, 4d6, 2d8, and 4d10.
- I feel crazy listening to this.
- I know, i-
- And then this is plus-
- 14.
- You hear that?
- That's right, so-
- These are the sounds that
brennan normally makes.
- Did you hear that?
- We're taking the power back.
- We're asking if you heard it.
- Did you hear it?
Did you hear us?
- That's the sound of winning.
- Pc's taking the power back,
he's gonna k*ll all of us.
- 20.
32.
- Pop this dude later.
- 40.
- sh*t, man.
- 52 plus 14.
- Jesus christ.
- Is-
- 66 points of-
- 66 points of damage, cool.
- In one f*cking-
- And that's with a
nat one leading me off.
I could have f*cking iced this guy.
- Liam, you walk up to the window,
Point your crossbow through,
and this guy gets alerted
On the first one in time
to get a crossbow bolt
In the collarbone and
another one deep in his gut
As he falls a*s backwards
out of his chair,
Unable to see who just attacked him.
- If you think about it,
It's like now he's gonna die with fear.
- Yeah.
- It's kind of nice that you alerted him.
- It's better than a k*lling blow.
Does the person guarding
the door run in to meet him,
Since he probably knows someone is there-
- Not his turn yet, so you're
not sure what he's gonna do.
- Okay, okay.
- But you have a bonus
action and movement left.
- Great, i'm gonna run to this one.
- Okay, awesome, go ahead-
- Oh, wait, i cast hunter's
mark on him already.
- Jesus-
- Oh, and you crit.
- Yeah, and i crit it.
- And you crit it.
So hunter's mark is, what, an extra d6?
- D8.
Oh, no, you're right, d6, sorry.
- On both attacks?
- Yeah.
- So it's a 4d6?
- And you crit, yeah.
- 66, plus-
- So that's, so that's
an extra 4d6 damage.
- Okay.
f*ck yeah.
- All right.
- All right, that's an extra 18.
So that's, yeah.
- This is one of my main guys.
- 84.
- 84?
- f*ck vegetables, 84 damage.
- How does it feel, brennan?
How does it f*cking feel?
- It feels not good.
How much, you did 84-
- 84 total, right, if that's-
- 'cause if you-
- 66 plus, what, how much-
- 18?
- So 66 plus 18 is 84.
Jesus, liam.
- Sick.
- Yeah. Man.
- Through a window.
- Liam, imagine if you
hit on your first attack.
Yeah, i mean, if it wasn't,
if i had had advantage,
It wouldn't have been a nat one.
- Truly insane.
Okay.
- Is he down?
- He is not down, he is not down.
- Whoa.
- He went from writing at
his desk to sh1tting himself,
Covered in his own blood,
screaming, in a horrified,
This is, you are not a warrior.
This is a m*rder, this is a full m*rder-
- It's an assassination.
- What's up, dude, we're the monsters now.
- I message to liam, "yes, b*tch.
Yes, absolutely, liam."
- That's liam's turn-
- Since we have surprise round,
he's probably not gonna get
To go until after your next thing, maybe?
- Yeah, so you
should probably k*ll him now.
- So i should run.
- Or maybe you should k*ll him.
- That actually is something that is true
About dread ambusher, sorry
for another rules moment,
But the technical rules
for dread ambusher are...
Or, no, sorry, for assassinate are that...
Sorry, sorry, hold on.
You have advantage against a creature
That hasn't taken a turn in the combat
And in addition, any hit
you score against a creature
That is surprised is a critical hit.
So you wouldn't get that
automatic crit against him,
But you would get advantage
on all your rolls against him
If he doesn't act before your next turn.
Something to think about.
But what is liam gonna do?
- Let me see, i am going to hide, i guess.
Is that something i can
use as a bonus action-
- Yeah, you can bonus
action on it, absolutely.
- I'm gonna hide in this house, i think,
Just so i'm one step closer to
figuring out what's in here.
- Cool, go ahead and use your movement,
You have 30 feet of movement, so.
Oh, hell, yeah, just go ahead
and give me an athletics
To clamber up there.
- Sure.
17.
- Hell, yeah, you just scramble
up, f*cking batman style,
Slinking through this burned out building,
And crouch down like a sn*per.
This is, you're just having an extreme
"call of duty" moment over here.
And you actually, i'm
looking right through it,
You have an exact, i can
see his mini from where i am
Through the window-
- So i can just sh**t
from there next turn-
- What a nightmare.
- Hell yeah.
- What a f*cking nightmare
For him.
- Hell yeah.
Come on, onion b*tch.
- Yeah, you take away
a boy's peppermint pig-
- Someone you know took my peppermint pig.
- Go ahead and give me another hide check,
Or a stealth check.
- Oh, sure, just not a nat one.
Nat 20, making it a 40 stealth check.
- Unbelievable.
- Insane, ruby-
- Does 40 mean i'm just never found
For the rest of the fight?
- You're fully invisible,
you are a w*r ghost.
- f*ck, yeah.
- That's gonna be ruby.
- What's the light situation inside this-
- Lit by candles.
- Okay.
And can i tell from where
i am that this ladder
Is like a little entrance into here?
- Into the attic, yes.
- Into the attic, and the attic is,
But it's the same, i wouldn't
have to open a trapdoor
Or anything to get from the attic down?
Who knows, it's in the inside of the-
- Yeah.
- Okay, here is what i would like to do.
I would like to cast jump on myself.
- Hell yeah.
- And jump over to here.
- Dope.
- And then sneak in this way.
- Awesome, you cast jump as your action.
You, no roll necessary, you
spring, cat like, to the roof.
It takes your movement to get to the roof
At the end of the ladder over there.
You have a bonus action left.
- Ooh, what am i gonna
do as my bonus action?
Am i, can i get inside?
- You can take a dash
action to get inside, yeah.
- Great, oh, yeah, i'll do that.
- Go ahead and give me a stealth roll.
- Great.
It's 30.
- You acrobatically leap,
Like one of the the swirler
sisters, through the air,
Land on the opposite ladder,
and slink through an open hatch
Into the attic, where
you can hear grissini
Beginning to bark orders
to his men outside.
- Great.
- Cool, go ahead and move your mini,
And yak, you are in the attic
of that building over there.
If you would like, actually, go ahead
And throw ruby onto that.
Awesome, that's going
to be gooey and swifty,
Who delay their action
to accompany saccharina.
Then...
Hold on a moment.
- I'm gonna k*ll you, b*tch.
- Okay, we both have seven, right?
- Yeah, i would like to go first.
- Okay.
- For your sake.
- I can get out in my same move, but-
- If you want to do that, you can.
- You go first, yeah, i
just don't want those dudes
To be in the mix when i-
- What dudes?
- The guys who are going
on your turn, swifty and-
- No, i'm not gonna,
'cause i don't want them
in that area, either.
- Oh.
- Okay, manta ray's taking his
cue from amethar, he delays.
Caramelinda is concentrating on the spell.
I'm gonna make a roll-
- In her ice wall.
- In her ice wall, she's
gonna roll with advantage
'cause of her cozy little
ice cottage, her igloo.
- Figured it would help her concentration.
- Yes, it gives her advantage
on her concentration.
The army starts shouting, they clearly see
That something's going on,
there's a shatter over there.
Cumulous, that's you, and saccharina.
- Saccharina, you go first.
- Yeah, i can go first.
- Saccharina, would you like your mini?
- Yeah!
- That little
artisanal wooden spoon.
- Hell yeah!
- Beautiful.
- That's sick.
- She's pretty rad.
- So i was with caramelinda,
So i'm probably right around here.
- Yep.
- I want to...
I want to run.
I would like to...
Okay, so with tempestuous magic,
Before i cast a first
level or higher spell
I can fly 10 feet.
I can fly 10 feet.
- Hell, yeah.
- Can i run through this friendly crowd
And then fly 10 feet over these people,
'cause i don't take opportunity attacks?
- You absolutely can, yes.
- Okay, so i run here.
I fly, fly over them,
And then i cast...
And then who all is within 10 feet of me?
- Joren jawbreaker is down
underneath the gallows,
And other than that, it's
all these vegetanians.
- Okay, so what i'm
gonna do is i'm gonna do
A fourth level thunder step.
I'm grabbing joren to come with me.
- You can pick one
person to come with you.
- Yes, i'm doing a fourth
level thunder step,
And i'm also using my channel divinity...
My channel divinity destructive wrath.
So i'm just doing max damage,
So they're all taking 40 points of damage,
And then since i cast a lightning spell,
They're also all gonna take another three.
And then i'm gonna use quicken
spell to do spare the dying
On joren as i teleport him back in here.
- Holy sh*t.
- f*ck you up, brennan.
You read the rule book this time.
- You did, what...
- 43-
- 43 damage
To everyone 10 feet of me.
- Everybody within 10 feet.
- And not to joren jawbreaker.
- But not to joren jawbreaker
because he's coming with me.
And also, i spared him,
so he's no longer dying.
- Everyone likes saccharina now.
- Everyone likes saccharina now.
- Theo pees a little bit.
- Yeah, yes, yeah.
Yeah, for-
- f*ck yeah, that's insane.
- Okay.
- Did you just do max damage?
- Yeah, once a day i can do max damage
On lightning or thunder.
- Okay, okay, so you-
- It does max damage.
- You get the free, it's not even a bonus,
It's just a free action
that you go 10 feet flying.
You land, 43 damage-
- 43 damage to
everyone around me, 'cause-
- Is there a save for half, or there's-
- Oh, yeah, there's a save for half.
- Okay, there's a save for half, okay, 43.
So let's resolve what can't,
what i can't stop first.
You fly, they're all, surprised, you know.
But they don't get any
opportunity on you coming
Because you're, specifically
your ability says that,
And then you're just grabbing joren
And disappearing back, you
go back into this area here.
He's prone-
- I'm gonna put him into
amethar's arms and say,
"i got your cousin."
- I don't know.
- And then 10 feet from here, so that's...
That's them, that's, no, not
that person, okay, over there.
- Oh, i also have wind speaker,
So i do speak to the wind as i do it.
- Okay.
- Have a nice little conversation.
- Okay.
43 damage.
You...
I'm gonna roll to see what
happens to all of these people
That i was...
This person, even with half, nothing.
Nothing, they can't survive.
The rest-
- See ya.
Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Blow those trumpets.
- One, two.
- That's insane.
- Mm-Hmm.
- Okay, so it's just the knights
and these priests, really.
So we're gonna go like this.
Well, your dc is, for this
spell, i believe it's 16.
- For this spell, yes, my sorcerer dc.
- And what type of saving throw is it?
- 16, it is a constitution saving throw.
- Okay, so the one on the
dais is going to make it.
- They don't, they do all
take the three damage,
Though, 'cause that's
my sort of stormy aura.
- Gotcha, okay, so that's gonna be-
- So on a save they'll still take 23.
- One, two, three.
So that's gonna be 43.
So that's gonna be 23.
23, and then...
Or, no, sorry, two of them take 43
And then this one takes 23.
The two knights on either side of you...
Okay, you know what, i'm
not gonna narrate anything
'cause this is so,
there's so much happening,
And i'm ruined, i'm ruined.
- I have a question.
- Yeah, what's up, what's up, ally?
- I think i did disguise
self to look like the onion
Before we started.
So technically, did that onion
person hear a window shatter
And then they saw themselves,
ice them and then disappear?
- Correct.
- Okay, i wasn't sure if that landed,
That i did disguise self.
- That onion bishop had
a full david lynch movie-
- Maybe you should leave him alive
'cause he's gonna be insane now.
He's gonna be scared
of his own reflection.
- These priests need a 16 or higher, okay.
- Unbelievable.
- That's crazy.
- I didn't know thunder step
could do that much damage.
- Same.
- I did it at fourth level,
so i added another d10,
And i can do max-
- Okay, you, and you are back here now.
Do you, what do you want
gooey and swifty to do,
If anything?
- I think i'm gonna tell them
to, i think i'm gonna tell,
I feel like we should have someone,
No, because the wall of
ice already has an ac,
So no one can attack caramelinda.
I think i'm gonna dispatch
them to go meet up with theo.
- Okay, cool.
- And explore that house.
- Yeah, we need to find
out what's in here,
It's definitely ciabatta.
- So they're gonna take
a full double move,
Bustling through the crowd, gooey's-
- They could maybe attack
these guys, unless they-
- Unfortunately, the
crowd is not friendly.
It's difficult terrain,
so they have to use
Their whole movement to
get all the way out here.
And swifty's gonna go with...
Actually, no, swifty's much faster.
So swifty's gonna scoot
all the way over here
Into the darkness.
So here's what you guys see.
Saccharina strides to the door.
You hear a crash of distant thunder.
The entire, all the trees in
town bend to almost 45 degrees,
As candy is stripped off the roofs.
The door rattles, and the lock
on the other door busts open,
As the door is taken off
into the sky by the wind.
Saccharina rises up and is
borne aloft by the wind,
Lands on the stage, reaches
a hand into the gallows,
And just summons joren up into her hand.
Lightening crashes from the sky
And in a blinding flash
of light, she is gone.
These trumpeters are dead.
Only this guy looks...
This guy and the long neck
celery priest look badly injured.
This priest and the two
knights to either side
Look dangling by the
thinnest possible thread
Into life, and you are
gone, and joren is stable.
Oh my god, that is going
to be amethar's turn.
- Oh, i think it's-
- Oh, sorry, cumulous's.
- Cumulous's.
It kind of changes what i was thinking
Of doing in a good way.
- 'cause i could just wreck some dudes.
- Yeah.
- And joren is spared-
- Cumulous is going to, i don't, i mean-
- Yeah, if emily axford has spells,
There's not a lot you can do.
- I don't think hour of grieving
is gonna be that helpful
'cause it's a dc 14 spell save,
And they maybe won't be hurt.
So i'm just, cumulous is
gonna run out the front door,
Land right here, jump up here-
- Cool, oh, right, you have fluffwind,
Which gives you an insane jump speed.
Right, there's not even
an issue with this.
So you rush out, leap right here.
- Awesome, is there a spot where i can be
Within five feet of three people?
- Within five
feet of three people?
- Right there?
- Right there, you can
be within five feet.
- I'm gonna use two, well, actually, no,
That actually doesn't do that much damage.
I'm gonna punch this celery
neck in the back of the head.
Do i have advantage?
- No, you do not have
advantage in this instance.
It's fully lit, you're not
attacking from being hidden.
- Okay, first attack.
That's gonna hit, 28.
- You hit, yes.
- And i'm going to-
- Are you attacking
unarmed, or with fluffwind?
- With the fluffwind.
- Cool.
- And so that's...
28 plus 6.
How injured does this person look?
I'm trying to decide if i
should stunning fist them.
- They look somewhat,
somewhat f*cked up, for sure.
- Also, if you stunned
them on the first hit,
Then you can get advantage,
right, on the next attack.
- Correct, yes.
- I'll do that-
- That's something i, it
took me a while to learn
In unsleeping city.
- I did eight damage to them.
- Okay, it's a con save to not be stunned,
I believe, correct?
- Yes, correct.
- Okay.
He fails.
- Okay.
- How much damage is that, sorry?
- That was just eight.
- Okay, you get advantage
on the next attack.
- Come on, nat 20.
- Crit.
- It hits, but not a nat 20.
- How much is it?
- It was a 20-
- It was disappointing.
- I haven't rolled the damage yet,
But it was a 26 or something.
- Cool, yeah, absolutely.
You do get 26, cool, and the
first one was more than that?
- The first hit was a 19.
I'm just talking about the attack roll.
- Oh, the attack roll, yes,
yes, yes, cool, gotcha.
- So first damage i did was
eight, and then this is now 12.
- 12 more damage, okay.
- Yeah.
- Hell yeah.
- Oh, jesus, okay, also
now on death's door.
- Okay, i'll do, i'll
use another key point
And do, you know,
What am i trying to say?
- Flurry of blows?
- Flurry of blows.
- Cool.
- So i've used two by now,
and it's still f*cked up,
So i get advantage, right?
- Correct, still stunned.
- Okay.
19.
- Oh, so close.
- Nice.
- That would be just a d6
for five, so that's six.
I'm rolling like sh*t
on these damage rolls.
So that was six damage.
- You leap to the gallows
after the thunder is gone
And that red cotton candy
swirl surrounds you,
And you just stay floating,
doing that anime style
Where you're throwing punches
and hitting down so hard
That you just remain floating
in air, and shatter the skull
And break the long neck
of this celery priest.
- Okay, and is-
- Oh, is he dead?
- Dead.
- Flurry of blows, is that a bonus action?
- It is a bonus action.
- Do i have any movement left?
- You have, what is your speed?
- 45.
- Find out who's in this.
- Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40.
You have five feet of movement.
- And i can't take any more
bonus actions, i realize.
I f*cked up.
- No.
- But i had one more flurry
left, so i'm gonna punch
This dude in the back of the head.
- Which guy?
Kale, or this dude, or the knight?
- The knight, i guess.
- Cool, go ahead and make an attack roll.
And this is just, yeah, a normal attack.
- That is a 20, not nat.
- A 20 hits.
- Seven damage.
- You kick the back of
his skull in and he dies.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
- My man is smashing skulls today.
- Hell yeah!
- And as your foot reaches out
And cleaves this like crescent kick
And just puts a jagged fried
edge of his helmet into his-
- I have five feet of movement left?
- Five feet of movement left-
- I'm diving into that hole.
- Oh, sh*t, yeah, you dive
And disappear into the hole, blam.
- Blam, baby, in the hole.
- There we go.
- Amethar, that's gonna be you.
- Great, amethar's been
watching everything
Drastically change and
everyone do crazy sh*t,
So he's, hey, monterrey, manta ray, sorry.
Manta, hey, let's just,
let's do some crowd control.
And i step out, i'm just like,
"hey, i'm former king amethar,
everybody in the sugar hut."
And i say, "manta, you right, me left."
And i'm gonna go left
and engage these guys.
- Hell yeah.
- Hell yeah, you go left, so you're gonna,
First of all, go, so that's
gonna be five, 10, 15, 20.
Are you gonna move-
- I'm like, "excuse me, miss."
- Do you want
to get behind these guys?
- I'd like to be behind, yeah.
- Cool, you use your
movement to get right there,
And here's the mini for manta ray jack.
- Aw hell yeah.
- That's really cute.
- There he is.
- That's like captain crunch spongebob.
- Everyone remember,
there was a cruller mini
At one point, don't trust them
Just 'cause there's a mini of them.
- True.
- I don't know,
Any mini's good.
- I never trusted that cake.
- Cool, manta ray's gonna run over here.
Amethar, go ahead and take your turn-
- Great, yeah, i'll go into a rage
And, well, let's just get to it.
Great, a 19.
- Hit.
- Great, oh.
Re-Roll ones.
Still a one, seven plus nine equals 16.
- Dead.
- Great, and then i'll use,
i already used a bonus action
To rage, and then we'll
go after the other guy.
17 to hit.
- 17 to hit, hits.
- Okay, reroll twos, 10 plus nine, 19.
- A spray of blood, as
you howl at the candians
To get into the sugar hut.
You go out, and every ceresian
you can get your hands on
Is dead the moment you come
charging out of the sugar hut.
Surprise rounds for
eighth level characters.
Take care with those, just
be careful about those,
Is my only thing.
- You set this up.
- I did set this up.
- Come on, manta.
- What are you like, manta
ray, what are you doing?
- Yeah, what's your deal?
- Okay.
- Is he a swashbuckler?
- Oh.
- Is that a beautiful
stealth attack pile of dice?
- And five is 11.
Which is the exact hit point total.
You see that manta ray
comes, sort of going out
And says, "i'll catch you
on the other side, amethar,
And don't let your little
high-Born self get shown up."
- Oh, don't get us counting, manta ray.
- All right, and you
hear from the other side
Of the thing a ceresian,
And you hear, "one."
- Oh, i'm already on two.
- "oh, you're cheating,"
and yeah, manta ray skewers
One of the ceresian soldiers.
That is amethar.
Joren is stable.
Townsfolk, these women grab their children
And begin to rush, just
pile into the sugar hut
And begin to crowd
around the doorway here,
Fleeing as fast as they can.
Okay, back to the top of
the order, that's theo.
- Okay.
- Okay, all right.
- All right, hey, we
got a couple guys there,
But i should see what's
going on in this house.
I'm gonna use my movement to
go up to one of the windows,
See what's going on.
- Go up to one of the windows, okay, cool.
So you're gonna go up
to one of the windows-
- Can you not see from where you are-
- Oh, yeah, can i see anything, or?
- Go ahead and give me a perception check.
- No, seven.
- Dimly lit, you see some shapes in there.
That's about the best you can do.
- Okay, i guess i'll run up to the-
- Run up to the window?
- Yeah, or should i go to the door?
Where's the door?
- The door's right here.
You could just run up to the door.
- Oh, yeah, i'm just gonna
run and kick the door in.
- Okay, give me athletics.
- Sweet.
A 14.
- Love that thud.
- Bam, door flies off its hinges-
- It's gonna die, right there.
- You're gonna get an
attack with opportunity
From this knight right here as you-
- Please, please.
- Leave the threatened range.
Does, a 16 does not hit.
- No, of course not.
- Clang, off your armor.
- You're all under arrest
by the true king of candia.
- Queen.
- And the queen.
It's all very confusing.
There are two queens.
- No, it's just one,
I'm not a guy anymore.
- You're also the king.
- The king and
queen are dad and daughter?
- You see an
armory full of weapons.
- Whoa.
And just a dude?
- And just one guy.
- Oh, goddammit, guys, this house sucks.
There's nothing in it.
- You see you rush in, and
there's a ceresian soldier
Who just, the ceresian soldier just goes.
- f*ck you, and i try to k*ll him.
- Remember that the
marauders have trash weapons.
- Those weapons look sick, dude.
- Yeah, they might be sick.
- They might be those-
- They all look sick, they all look-
- Do they look sick?
- They look like some
f*cking sick candian weapons.
- All right, guys, it's
actually pretty sick in here.
- What? I thought it sucked!
- Get into the looting spirit.
- I'm wrong.
- See, looting is fun.
- Okay, i'm going to, green flame blade,
And then i'm gonna use,
princess is gonna help me
Make an attack.
That is a 26 to hit.
- Why does it take so long for-
- You hit.
- And then-
- His dice always spin
for a really long time.
- Oh, boy, that's only nine damage.
- Nine, okay, nine damage, still standing.
- All right, make my second
attack with a bonus action.
Nat 20.
All right.
- Oh, that's our guy.
- Crit crew, crit crew.
- That's our guy right there.
- Crit crew.
- That's another 12 damage.
- K-R-I-T.
- You bust the door in,
see one guy who screams.
- f*ck you, dude.
- You smash him up against
the wall with swirlwarden
And just feel the end of the
battle pop scrape the wall,
Pushing through his body
against the backside.
- Jesus, yo.
- He falls immediately dead to the ground.
Cool, you've used 20 feet of
movement and your bonus action.
- How sick are these weapons?
- You wouldn't be able to
tell what they were in the
Heat of battle, but-
- Can i just-
- You just want to grab a big
heaping helping of weapons?
- I would like to grab a big
heaping helping of weapons.
- I did send my people to help.
- Oh, that's right, on your initiative.
- Oh yeah, swifty's right there.
- Yeah if they were-
- You see, yeah, swifty and gooey-
- Don't they have advantage on looting?
- Swifty and gooey both
run in, look at this,
And swifty says, "oh, my little
ginger ba*ls, look at this."
And you see that gooey goes, "we got it."
- All right.
- You see that swifty just
starts going, pew, pew, pew,
Rushing back and forth with little weapons
And pieces of treasure in his arms.
- Swifty, i love your enthusiasm.
- I wanna get rich.
You see-
- Yes, with honor and diligence,
and we want to protect our-
- No, f*ck that.
- What?
- Cool, that's theo.
Grissini.
- sh*t.
- f*ck.
- Goes.
Five.
- Oh, he's leaving the hut?
- 10, 15, 20.
- 'cause he
doesn't know i'm here?
- 30.
- Oh, good.
- Grissini barks an order to
those two guards right there.
Goes 30, and then-
- Do you speak ceresian?
- But i can understand
that he's telling them
To do something.
- Yes, he says something,
you don't speak ceresian,
But he says something to them in ceresian,
And then he's gonna-
- What two guards?
- Probably the
two dudes right there.
- Oh, i didn't realize,
there's two guys right here?
- Yeah.
- Oh, does he not make it to me?
- He does not make it to you.
That is gonna be constano,
Grant an ally within, does he
have an ally within 30 feet?
- Is that meep an ally?
- Him and that meep.
- Oh, constano, your situation
was better a moment ago.
- Oh, that's right,
they're dead, constano.
- I mean, he made my life much easier.
- That is gonna be constano's
turn, that's gonna be liam.
- So i still have advantage
'cause these people haven't acted yet.
- You still have advantage,
it's not an auto crit anymore.
- Really?
- It's not an auto crit 'cause
he's not surprised anymore,
But you do have advantage,
Also, you're attacking from
being completely invisible.
- If he hasn't acted yet, doesn't he-
- Yeah, he hasn't acted
yet, so it's like if-
- Surprise ends at the
end of the first round.
Notice that the wording is
different in dread ambusher,
You get, or the wording is
different with assassinate.
- Oh, it's just surprise.
Got it.
- Right?
So you get the auto crit for surprise.
You get the advantage for
having taken an action-
- Oh, got you, okay, cool, cool, cool.
Okay, great, we'll still, yeah.
I think i'll, i am going
to, first, yeah, attack him.
- Okay.
- Oh, okay.
- What?
- No, no, just-
- Go for it, yeah.
- Ooh, 15 to hit?
- 15 to hit is not gonna do it.
- Okay, cool.
- So that's your first attack.
You can go ahead and
roll your second attack.
- Cool, so my second attack.
- 25 to hit.
- 25 hits.
- Okay.
- And this is gonna be 1d10,
plus 3d6 for hunter's mark
And sneak attack, and not plus 1d8.
So it's just 1d10 plus 3d6 plus seven.
- Got it.
Great, that's 16 plus seven, is 20...
- Three.
- Three.
- Truly one of the scions
of the church is hit
With another arrow, screams in pain,
And begins to hobble to his
feet, he looks so near death.
- Okay.
Let me see, and i don't
get another attack, right?
- You don't get another attack.
- First turn, oh, yeah,
it's just my first turn
Where i get that?
- Mm-Hmm.
- Okay, cool, then i am
going to yell in bulbosi,
Which i'm fluent in, "you
have made a big mistake."
- He screams and says, "bulb
above, a demons at the door,
The spirits of darkness
have come to claim me.
The hungry one!"
Yeah.
- Then, no, i'm gonna stay where i'm at.
I'm gonna hide, though.
- Cool, give me a bonus action to hide.
- Oh, sure.
28.
- Cool, still a f*cking shadow, no shot.
Okay.
That is liam, ruby, that's you.
- Okay, i'd like to jump down,
Free liam's mom.
- Hell yeah.
- Is that a full action to-
- That's a bonus action
to free liam's mom.
- Great, and then i would
like to cast invisibility
On liam's mom.
- Cool, go ahead and give me,
First of all, a thieves tool check,
And this is bonus action with mage hand.
- Nine.
- Nine is not gonna do
it, so you can try again,
But with another action.
- Okay.
- Do you have your-
- Oh, i have yak.
- Oh, he can give you
advantage on that roll.
- Great.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Okay, that does it, that's 25.
- You leap down, mage hand the lock open
As you're casting invisibility on her.
She looks at you and goes,
she's got her hands up,
Tied up, and she goes,
"oh my god, look at you.
You're so, a little precious,
are you gonna rescue me?"
- Oh my god.
- "i'm spearia, and i think
i actually know who you,
Oh, okay, yeah, let's keep it.
We're gonna keep it real
quiet, shush, shush, shush."
- Oh, no, when you described her,
She was like the coolest
looking person in the world.
- She does, she's like
cafe graditude waitress.
- You guys, i love it,
honestly, all right.
Let's do this, let's get out of here.
- No, oh, no.
- No.
- So that's my action and my bonus action.
- I guess that's how you
guys felt when you met me.
- Oh, that's your
action, the bonus action?
That's your movement to
get down there, hell, yeah.
That's ruby, spearia is invisible.
Go ahead and give me a stealth
check, just from the outside.
- Great.
31.
- Great.
- I'm a ghost.
And now i know these guys
are gonna be low hit points,
Which is nice, that's nice-
- This guy's going to go-
- Those guards have, these
guys have low hit points?
- Yeah, it's like 15
Or 16 or something.
- It's like 11.
- Or 11?
- Interesting.
- He's gonna rush back over here,
And he's, what's he gonna do?
He's gonna heal himself,
that's what he's gonna do.
- Who, wait, where did he go?
- There, he ran back.
- Little priesty, little priesty guy.
- Little kale priest.
- I think we gotta go
into that military tent.
- I like the-
- This is 100% gone from get, hey,
We don't have to k*ll them
all, to, hey, why not?
- Let's go and k*ll them all.
- Why not?
- Come on, we gotta k*ll them all.
- There could still be a
f*cking monster or something.
- Yeah.
- No, i mean, a whole army could come up-
- You see that grissini, as
he's running towards you,
Amethar, puts two fingers in his mouth
And does a loud, that
loud, piercing whistle.
- Bless.
- He was blessing his folk?
- Maybe.
- Or calling more people, yeah.
- Yup.
Or he, jk, jk, jk.
- Or whoever's in that f*cking tent.
- Oh, yeah, who is in the tent?
What's in the box?
- What's in the box?
- That is going to be,
caramelinda's gonna roll again.
Concentration.
Ooh, boy, okay, now,
finally, these guys go.
This guy's gonna go.
- Bye b*tch.
- 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60.
Rush up here.
This guy runs over here.
- Throw the fire.
- What is that?
- It's got a little flame thing.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- Ruby?
- Could you go ahead and place that.
- It's a signal fire?
- Yeah.
- Does that tell them if-
- Yes, he rushes over to that.
Yeah, you had it, i think you had it right
The first time, yeah.
- You sure it's not like this?
- Yeah, what about this?
- Yeah, what about, sorry,
I'm sorry, i'm sorry.
- There you go, perfect.
- This is what happens
When you give it me-
- It's three a.M., lou, three.
- You see, he runs over,
lights, takes a torch
From the brazier, lights that
fire, and a huge signal beacon
Is lit in the town.
- Signal beacon.
- If-
- So maybe it's pointless
to even try to put it out
'cause someone's already-
- It's probably too late,
yeah, we'll see, but yeah.
- Okay, these guys are gonna rush up.
One, two, three.
- I'm tiny.
- Hang on, wait, i have a-
- Cumulous, you all right back there?
- I, wait.
- One, that knight is dead,
So we're gonna go 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30,
35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60.
These guys are gonna run
over here for manta ray,
And turn around for him, as well.
First of all, that
knight's gonna take a swing
For you, theo, it's a miss.
That's a miss, as well.
We're gonna go ahead.
- Oh god.
- These guys are all
gonna take some swings at-
- Are they, the archer dudes?
- The archer dudes, yeah.
- Are they swinging at
me or sh**ting at me?
- sh**ting at you.
- Okay, i'm gonna deflect
arrows on the first one.
- Yes, first thing that's gonna happen,
This guy's gonna take some swings.
Two misses, guys.
Npcs, we can't be getting
misses on these attacks.
- Or can we, i think we can.
- We had a funeral last
episode, we need a win.
- Big win.
- Okay, that is two hits.
- With the arrows?
- With the arrows, yes, so
the first one deals you.
11, 17, 19 points of damage.
- 19 plus 13, okay, so 13.
So i blocked it for 19.
- Which means you get to throw it back-
- I can throw it back at his-
- At his face, that's
correct, as a reaction?
- So that would be, just
roll an attack roll?
- Yeah, that's correct.
- That's only, and what would i add to it?
- Ac 12, so you need-
- Yeah, i didn't hit it.
- Okay, no worries, you fling the arrow.
The next one is gonna hit
you for 11, 14 plus two
Is 16 points of damage.
- And i can't deflect it-
- Can't deflect that one, you've
already used your reaction.
- Okay, 16.
- 16, these guys are gonna go,
one, two, three, four, five,
Six, seven, eight, nine, 10.
This guy runs up to engage,
he's gonna go five, 10, 15, 20
25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50.
Run up here to engage.
These guys are all gonna come
up here to surround amethar,
And a couple of them are close enough
To actually get in swings.
- He's not even the king
anymore, you assholes.
Stop trying to k*ll my dad.
- So it's gonna
be five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30.
- I got a dumb idea.
- Great.
- Oh, it's pure shenanigans.
Oh, i have the purest of shenanigans.
Oh, brennan.
- These guys
are going to rush up.
- You ain't seen shenanigans like mine.
- I am so very excited.
These guys are gonna go, yeah,
five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30.
These guys rush up here.
Do i have any other little bread helpers?
- He's already went.
- He already went, so two of
these guys are gonna get swings
On manta ray jack.
That's a hit.
That's gonna be six on manta ray,
He takes six points of damage,
And then we have one, two, three, four,
Taking swings on the king.
That's a hit, and that's a hit.
Eight plus-
- Two misses?
- Only actually one miss.
- Riposte.
- Ooh.
- Riposte.
- Yeah, that'll hit.
- Go ahead and roll damage.
- And does that add, no,
he missed, he had just two.
Nine plus seven, 16.
- One of the guy who misses you, you just,
You literally get your leg
up and stomp his shield down
And just pummel his brain in.
Down, that's going to be...
However, the other three
do hit and deal you eight,
10, 16 points of damage halved to eight.
- Total?
- Total.
That's going to be-
- Now i don't really want
to do my shenanigans,
Now i just want to k*ll.
- They leap in, that's
all my little bread guys.
A lot of my knights are dead,
And then that's going to be saccharina.
- Okay, i'd like to jump out the window
And run to this space right here.
- You actually have enough, yeah,
You have enough movement to
even just go out the back door.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- So i want to come right
here, and then i'm gonna cast
Lightning bolt on all these guys.
- Oh, hell yes.
- Yo.
- I mean, whatever, it's fine.
- I guess-
- I could do that if i wanted to.
- I guess i'll do, why not,
'cause grissini's in there.
I guess i'll do, well,
we might need another,
No, thunder step is third level.
I guess i'll do another fourth level.
Can i borrow 3d6?
- Mm-Hmm.
- You love it, you love this.
- We've been doing it
like "game of thrones"
For so long, and adding
a primary spell caster.
- Okay, i didn't roll that well, 10.
- Wait, so-
- The red woman showed up.
- I didn't realize that
there's a perfect line,
Just organically.
- There was one right here.
I was gonna go here, and
then when that happened.
- 'cause passed-
- Yo.
- So it's 30-
- How many wait, how
many feet, it's 60 feet?
- 60 feet?
- It's 100 foot line.
- You know what, i'm-
- Wait, is it really 100-
- 100 foot.
- Yeah.
- So it's everyone, it's everybody,
It goes past them to the back.
- You know what i'm actually gonna do?
I'm gonna do empower
spell, so i'm gonna re-Roll
Four of these, i guess, 'cause that's-
- Great.
- Yeah.
- Psyched.
- Yeah, that helped.
- Okay, so it's actually 10, 20, 30.
39 damage, but they all get
a dexterity saving throw,
But they take half as much.
And lightning ignites flammable objects
That aren't being worn or carried.
Does that mean that i can light that-
- Those trees on fire?
- You can definitely light
the ceresian banner on fire.
- Do bread people burn?
- Yes.
- They definitely do.
- I think i wanna, since
i'm right behind gristedes-
- Oh, grissini, yeah.
- Grissini, i think i'm gonna
lean in over his shoulder
And say, "watch your banner burn, b*tch."
As i ignite him as the very
first on my lightning kebab.
- So 39 actually means
that none of the infantry,
It doesn't matter if they save or not.
So gone-
- Bye, b*tch.
- Gone.
- Bye, b*tch.
- Gone, gone, gone.
- Bye, b*tch.
- Incredible.
- So four of them don't have a shot.
It's a dc 16 save-
- Just sh**ting them in the
back, blank, point blank?
- Okay, it's 39, so-
- It's a rage spell,
but can i, it's touch,
When i'm touching him,
i'm doing it through him.
- So it's halved to, if
it's half, it's 19, right?
- Oh, and i did lightning damage,
So he gets another three damage.
- Because he's wearing metal?
- Great, good.
- Yeah.
No, because i have an aura.
- Oh, right.
- Yeah.
- He takes another three, he fails,
So a 39 plus three is 42.
You watch as he rushes forward.
He is right at the originating,
Your hand just, this smell
of crackling electric
Vanilla fills the night sky.
I mean, even if that
beacon hadn't done it,
Saccharina's called down
two lightning strikes
In 12 seconds, four of them die.
This one is badly injured.
Yeah, you light them up,
cool, any bonus actions?
- Well, i have a question,
so i know i can't use
Two sorcery points on one spell
But can i use two
sorcery points in a turn?
- I think you can use two
sorcery points in a turn.
- Okay, then you know what, i'm gonna use
A quicken spell to then-
- Oh, you have twin
spell now, right, or no?
- No, i did quicken, yeah.
- Okay, cool.
- I'm gonna use quicken spell
to i guess booming blade him.
- Okay, cool.
- Yeah.
- Awesome.
- That feels like, you know what?
I'm just gonna sit on
it, i'm not gonna do it.
- Cool, cool, cool-
- I feel like i tortured him enough.
- You, yeah, you're,
The fact that saccharina
even has a look on her face
That she's holding back some,
i'm like, you know what?
We're gonna slow our roll
here, we're all good, cool.
That's saccharina, cumulous, that's you.
- Did i get, oh, no, i didn't.
It's just such a long turn.
- Such a long turn, yeah.
- Jesus, the game has changed.
- You're in a hole, please do not.
- Listen, guys.
- This feels like a perfect sh**t out,
Kick, kick, kick, i believe.
- I think, it's one of those
things where, flavor wise,
I want to do something that's cool
But it wouldn't do that much damage.
- Do you have a grappling hook,
You just sh**t up to the gallows?
- I'd love to,
I'm not going to do this,
But i'll tell you what i wanted to do,
I'd love to hang upside down
from the noose with my feet
And spin and hit everybody.
But that's only one d six,
So i don't think i would k*ll anyone.
It would knock them all off the platform,
But i don't know if that
would do any damage.
I think i'm going to...
I'm just trying to see if i can see
Any extra sh*t over here.
It feels like you guys have
it kind of handled over here.
I'm going to disengage and pop out
And hit this guy in the doorway, maybe.
- Cool, yeah.
- The guy with a juicy butt?
- Cool, so you take, is that a bonus-
You spend a ki point.
- Ki point to disengage.
- Cool, you leap over here.
- Let me see the juicy butt, i can't.
- And i'm going to just attack that guy.
- Hell yeah.
- Ooh, does a 14 hit?
- 14 does not hit that guy.
- Okay, i'll take my second attack.
Does a 16 hit?
- 16 does not hit.
- Okay, well.
- You do, oh, yeah, and
you've used your bonus action
To step there and disengage, so you swing,
Clank off of his armor.
You still have disengage
action if you want to use
Any extra movement.
- Can i just jump onto the roof?
- Hell yeah.
- And maybe the other side of the roof.
- Yeah, absolutely.
As you go over the roof,
give me a perception check.
- f*cking hell, nine.
- Cool, nine, you head over the roof.
- Can i do a perception
check from where i'm at?
- Yeah, go for it, yeah.
- Nat one.
- Nat one, all right.
Cumulous, you take off over the roof.
You're on the other side of the building.
Amethar, that is you.
- Great, i shout out, "hey,
most of the townspeople are in.
We maybe consider packing it up."
- Yeah, not a bad idea.
- And i'm gonna do
something incredibly dumb,
I'm gonna take three opportunity attacks
From these people to move to engage
With grissini, or constano.
- You don't take one from this guy
'cause you're still inside his area.
- Okay, great, i'll take-
- The, just from the wieners.
- Just from the wieners,
and i walk up to them,
"hey, do you remember my daughter?"
- What?
- Do you remember my daughter?
- The princess jet?
He looks, he just got electrocuted.
- She's dead, but you
just met my new daughter.
Not new, old, but i just
found out about.
- Incredible-
- I say, "that's a
daddy daughter special."
- And we're about to give them another
Daddy daughter special.
- Okay, hell yeah, first
of all, let me register
The three attacks on you.
- Just two.
- Oh, just two, okay.
- Not the gladiator.
- You stay at the fence, right?
- That's no hits.
- Great, and then yeah,
we'll swing on constano.
- Cool.
- Is that a crit?
- No, that's not a crit, but 29.
- That's a hit.
- Great.
Great, a seven, seven plus, 16.
- Awesome.
- Great, second hit, 25.
- That hits.
- Nine plus nine, 18, action surge.
- Whoa.
- A 20?
- 20 hits.
- A 14.
- 14 damage?
- Excuse me, five plus nine, 14, yeah.
12.
- 12 does not hit.
- Okay.
- So amethar, you see
that this guy was looking-
- Oh, i forgot to do so much.
Being a battle master is hard.
I'm used to just attacking.
- Oh, right, trip attack
And everything else like
that, yes, yes, yes, for sure.
You rush up, saccharina,
you just electrocuted him.
You watch that damage get
doubled as amethar strides up
And bang, bang, bang.
- And bonus action, three
points of damage from the aura.
- Hell yeah.
- To both him and the gladiator.
- And the gladiator-
- I want to know what's in that tent.
- I know, that's my-
- That's f*cking ciabatta,
Or some sh*t.
- It's so far away from me.
- That's going to be, yeah,
grissini is not looking good.
He's not anywhere near death's door,
He's still very much
standing, but he's been,
He's gone from uninjured to
badly injured very quickly.
That is now going to be the bishop,
The archbishop oliver onionpatch,
Who is going to make a
perception check with advantage.
I'm going to need a dexterity
saving throw from liam.
- Oh, but i was hidden,
why would he get advantage?
- He is hitting an area of effect.
He's not spotting where you are.
He knows that arrows are
coming in through a window,
And he's throwing up an
area of effect outside.
- Okay, a dex saving throw.
I'm seeing if i-
- You have plus seven.
- Yeah, i was wondering
if i have advantage
On that with my hunter's mark.
Yeah, advantage on any wisdom, perception,
Or survival check.
- This is a dexterity saving throw.
- Okay, cool.
Cool, okay.
Yeah, a 25.
- Okay.
10, 20, 32.
37, halved to 18.
- Cool.
- You take 18 points of fire damage,
As he reaches out his hand
and says, "bulb, protect me,"
And just the entire top floor
Of that home bursts into flame.
And then he ducks away from the window,
Hides deeper in the house.
That is oliver.
Rest of the townsfolk
rush into the sugar hut.
Oh, also, manta ray on
his turn kills another one
Of these soldiers, and he goes, "two."
- Did the fry guy go?
- Oh, he did not go, thank you.
- If we're gonna f*cking merc you,
I'm gonna merc you fairly,
dude, i'll tell you right now.
- Fry guy is gonna
go, five, 10, 15, 20, 25-
- Just f*cking smashing over tables, get.
- 45, 50, he's gonna go-
- Oh, sh*t.
- Yeah, he's gonna move all
the way over there on his turn.
Okay, that is going to be,
yeah, that's what bonathan does.
You guys hear.
And creatures begin to appear.
- I think we're going to
have to make a retreat.
- All the townspeople are in.
- Making their appearance
from the various corners here,
As the beacons are lit
And a horrifying creature skitters out.
- No way.
A giant-
- My nemesis.
- The ultimate cutie.
- I don't know why
you're calling that cute.
That thing's f*cking enormous.
- He's thick and cute.
- The turbo cutie.
- Honesty, shout out to rick
perry on this butt right now,
I got a real, that's a real solid-
- That's like that,
Baby butt right there.
- That's good work.
That's good work.
- Okay, this thing's gonna
take some slams at amethar.
- Yikes.
- That is going to be...
Amethar, you take first
eight halved to four,
And then 21 halved to
10, bludgeoning damage.
I'm going to need two
constitution saving throws.
- Great.
Constitution saving throws.
Damn, nine.
- Yikes.
- Nat 20.
- Nat 20.
- Okay, the first one you took was four.
Your hit point maximum is reduced by four,
As this thing hits you screaming.
It rushes up, this thing's
gonna come for saccharina.
Saccharina, i'm gonna need
A constitution saving throw from you.
- Did it hit?
- It did.
- Shield.
- It does not hit.
- Great.
- Pew, this wall of icy,
frosty ice cream magic
Goes up around you.
- I let him know, i thought
about letting you hit me
Because i actually have kind of a reaction
That i could hurt you,
but i took pity on you.
- These are horrifying bread golems,
Charging out of the mist here.
This one is going to go charging
And begins to rip its
way after the town folk,
Ripping the door apart,
trying to get to the stones.
This one is going to come
over here for manta ray.
- Oh, no, manta ray, get out of there.
- Dammit, manta ray.
- He's surrounded.
- Well, the highest one
there was a natural eight.
- Hell yeah.
- Which does not hit manta ray's ac.
- There you go.
- You see that this thing
goes,
And manta ray goes
"time for manta ray to
beat a hasty retreat."
Top of the order, theo.
- Sweet.
- Remember, you got my people with you.
- Okay, the people, they got the weapons.
I'm going to just bolt
out and try to get up to-
- You've got this knight,
This vegetanian knight blocking
the doorway right here.
- Dammit.
- You could set, but my people
can clear the way for you.
- Oh, that's true, gooey
can take some swings.
- Sweet.
- That's gonna be a hit.
Gooey slices his head off.
- Thank you, gooey.
- Pick up more, can-
- I forgot, this guy
Was only at two hit
points after saccharina-
- Sweet, so i'll use my
movement to get to, god,
All right, so we got this big a*s dude,
What can i, oh, here's an idea.
- Hit him.
- I'm going to cast, i'm
going to, f*ck, okay,
What am i gonna do?
I'm gonna get, i'm gonna
try to get up in the mix.
You know what, i'll run up,
i'm gonna attack this dude,
Just to do some damage.
Or, you know what, that
is, yes, okay, sorry
For my indecision, i'm
gonna run up to that guy.
- 25, okay.
- Okay, i'm going to,
before i decide what i do,
I'm gonna cast compelled duel on this guy.
- Okay, awesome, compelled
duel is a wisdom saving throw,
I believe, yes?
- Yes.
- And they don't seem very smart.
- This thing turns around as
the magic from the battle pop
Surrounds it and goes.
- Yes, everything's
working according to plan.
And theo pees a little bit again.
Then i am going to, yeah, you
know what, i'll stand there.
I'll just take some cracks
at this guy in front of me,
And princess will help me.
Two nat ones in a row, so-
- One in 400 chance of
happening, incredible.
- Oh, boy, that's only a 14
to hit on the second attack-
- 14, 14 does not hit.
- f*ck me, cool.
- Cling, clang, clang,
as this lumbering golem
Turns to face you, and where's...
Oh, there's princess.
Princess runs out behind you here.
- Princess.
- And you see that swifty
grabs a bunch of the weapons
And literally has this
huge stack of weapons
And rushes into the sugar hut with them.
- Swifty rules.
- Ha ha, i'm rich.
- Yes, the whole army, we're
gonna distribute those.
- All for me, hundreds of weapons.
- Yes, the cause.
- You, that is going to, okay.
Grissini is going to-
- Let's all get out of here, folks.
- Yeah, it's one of these.
- He hits twice.
- What are you at?
- 64.
- Okay.
- First attack, he hits
amethar for five, 15, 17,
21, halved to 10,
And then he crits.
- Is this grissini?
- This is grissini.
- Is amethar within 30 feet of me?
- I don't think so.
- Five, 10, 15, 20, no.
- Is he, how f*cked up is grissini looking
From these two 50 hit point
attacks that he's had on him?
- He looks heroically injured.
- Great.
- Great adjective.
- Eight, 12-
- One of these monster guys hit you?
Oh, no, it's just grissini.
- Grissini, but he's like-
- One of the monsters
Hit him for-
- 32, 36.
- Yeah.
- 36 damage, halved to 18.
- f*ck, i don't care.
- He.
And then he is going
to, as a bonus action,
He is going to grant
an ally within 30 feet.
He's gonna grant that golem an attack,
That golem crits against saccharina.
- Okay.
My reaction is used, right,
'cause i used shield,
So i don't have any reaction?
- He's still, he passes through the shield
On a critical hit.
- No, no, no, but i'm saying,
i'm not using a shield.
- You actually still
get the benefit from it-
- For the rest of the round.
- For the rest of the round.
- Oh, okay.
- I will need a constitution saving throw.
- Okay.
- All right.
- That is going to be-
20.
- 20 succeeds.
- Okay.
- You take 31 points of damage.
- What are you at?
- A lady never tells.
I'm at 18.
- Oh my god.
- Yeah, grissini is
like a whirling dervish,
Just, and he kicks the
winterscoop out from under you,
Just enough to lower your head
And let this golem just body you.
- f*ck.
- That is-
- Couldn't hit me yourself?
- You see, that's grissini's
turn, liam, that's you.
- Cool, i pop through
this window right here.
I ignore difficult terrain,
i walk into that house.
- Oh my god, terrifying.
- I look exactly like this onion person.
In bulbosi i say, "who
is in the military tent?"
- Go ahead and make an intimidation check
With advantage, if you'd be so kind.
- Nat 20.
- Nat 20.
Nat 20.
- How?
- This guy is quitting the church.
- He pisses himself.
He's just peeing and crying-
- Now you're w*r buddies, though,
You've seen him piss himself.
- You see, he says, "master wilhelmina"-
- No, i look like him.
- Oh, you look like him, he goes.
He goes, "great bulb above."
- Who?
- "great bulb above, i'm
only trying to serve you.
Your loyal servant sir keradin deeproot."
- Good.
- Keradin deeproot's in there?
- He has gone farther afield, he is here.
He is ranging after the fugitives
escaping from the village,
He is on long patrol.
- Okay, he's around, and
who else is in that tent?
- No one, the tent is deserted.
They've all come out for the
execution of joren jawbreaker,
I swear it.
- I ice him.
I absolutely ice him.
- So f*cking-
- Yeah, go ahead-
- Is it advantage, 'cause
he's on the ground-
- Honestly, you hit a
nat 20 on intimidate.
He's pissing himself, roll with advantage.
- Nat 20.
I crit, i crit, baby, this
is all the dice for the crit.
Oh, baby, we got 10, we got 20.
We got 38-
- Oh my god, this is f*cking ridiculous.
- 41, plus seven.
- How do you do it?
- 48.
- Yeah, how?
- How do you do it?
How? How?
I've had maybe one nat
20 this entire season.
- Liam hears, "keradin deeproot,
Commander constano grissini, the priest,
We're here on behalf of the pontifex,
I can tell you everything.
They're planning a secret meeting.
All of the knowledge, the
letters are being kept
In the commander's tent, the
pontifex and plumbeline uvano,
They're planning a meeting
for a new concord."
- Great.
- It's all in the tent,
Everything you need to
know is in the tent.
- Good.
And he's gone.
I grab that book, is there,
can i, is there anything else
In this tent that we could use?
Any other info, or?
- You walk into the tent.
Your body changes.
You have been a young
gawky teen for a long time.
- Yeah, that's true.
- Your body has always been
kind of a human apology.
- That's definitely true, i
just imagine my posture is like.
- Something changes in you, and
you move with a fluid grace,
Like a wild predator at the
apex of every food chain
That truly does neither
fears nor acknowledges death.
You ice him, pick up the book.
As you are picking up
the book to close it,
The shadows of the room around
you pick up the loose pages,
Soiled with the urine and
excrement of this m*rder*d bishop,
And the shadows literally lift them,
And as you are closing the book,
Insert them into the book in
an order most pleasing to you
As you shut it and walk
out into the night.
- Great, i-
- Do you have another attack?
- I do, i do.
I walk out, i rip the flag
down, and take that, as well,
So i have the book wrapped in their flag,
And then i attack that fry guy.
- Hell yeah, go ahead and knock that flag
And that onion down, and then
liam, you walk out right here.
Go ahead and take your other attack.
He does not see you, so this
is with advantage, as well.
- The onion's kind of
cute, his little hat.
- 22.
- 22 hits.
No sneak attack on this
one, so this is just,
And no hunter's mark, as well.
So this is just 1d10.
- Oh, yeah, i can use a bonus
action to make a new hunter's-
- Oh, cool-
- When they go to zero.
- So this is just 1d10 plus 1d6.
- But i can make, i
can use my bonus action
To hunter's mark the fry guy.
- Cool, he's hunter's marked,
That's where the d6 is coming from.
- Oh, cool, so it's a-
- Right, so it's 1d10, plus 1d6.
- One d10, 1d6, i got you,
I got you.
- Plus the seven.
- You do so much damage, it's insane.
- It's insane.
- It is wild.
- Just these recently.
1d10, 1d6?
- 1d10, 1d6, yeah.
- But also you crit,
Multiple times, every episode.
- Yeah, okay, great, that's 19.
- Incredible, as bonathan is fighting,
He feels a mint arrow in his back.
Screams as an arrow flies
out of the f*cking darkness-
- And then can i use my remaining,
I think i only have five or 10,
To start heading towards the house?
- You actually are at it
'cause you slipped out
Of the house this same round,
so you've used your movement-
- Oh, of course, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- So that's where you're
gonna end your movement.
- Okay.
- Insane, truly insane.
So you know about what's
in the commander's tent,
And you have all that-
- Yes, can i twin, or can i still message-
- Yeah, i'll leave you a
free message here, yeah.
- I let her know that all
that really helpful info
Is in the tent at the other end
Of the city.
- At the other end?
f*ck. Okay.
- Ruby, that's your turn.
- I tell liam's mom to
get to the sugar hut
As quickly as she can.
And f*ck it, i'm just
gonna use my full movement,
Plus my bonus dash to get
as close to this other tent
As i can.
So that's 105 feet of movement.
- Jesus.
Okay.
Give me an acrobatics check
to ignore difficult terrain.
- Oh, and then i also have jump, so-
- Yeah, oh, yeah-
- Oh, you have jump.
Yeah, got you, cool, cool, cool.
- So difficult terrain,
i don't feel like is-
- Yeah, is nothing.
Okay, so you're crashing
through the window,
That's 80 feet, you said 105?
- Yeah.
- 80.
- And then towards the tent.
- Towards the tent?
Okay, these guys will get reaction-
- Well, but i can get to
here, and then that way,
Is what i mean.
- Okay, got you.
Go ahead and pass ruby to me.
So that's gonna be 80.
85, 90, 95, 100, 105, right here.
- Mm-Hmm.
- Cool.
Go ahead and pass yak to me.
Yak is following behind you,
And go ahead and pass spearia to me,
Spearia is gonna rush into the sugar hut.
- Great.
- Hey, hell yeah.
- She rushes, she rushes past,
You're within-
- Can she take-
- Are you still within
the light over there?
Are you within 20 feet of
that brazier over there, liam?
- I think so, yeah.
- Yes.
- She runs, and you see, she looks over
And sees you at the edge of the light.
You see your mother-
- She's invisible.
- Oh, she's invisible, so
you don't see anything.
- Damn.
- Damn.
- Sorry.
- Too bad.
- It's not the right moment, anyways.
- She rushes, that is ruby.
This dude right here,
I'm gonna need a wisdom
saving throw from theo.
- f*ck.
f*ck' f*ck me, three.
- You feel yourself
constricted by bonds of magic,
As this priest says, "by
the power of the bulb,
I abjure you, wicked,
licentious, naughty gummy bear."
- f*ck the bulb.
- On your next turn,
Send gooey after him to maybe
break his concentration.
- That'll be good, yeah.
- Caramelinda shouts out and
says, "i can't hold on anymore.
I can't hold on anymore,"
Shouts out from within the sugar hut.
- Retreat.
- She basically says, on her next turn,
The spell's gonna go off.
- Okay.
- So we have to get back
to her by her next turn?
- Yeah, something to that effect.
- Goddammit.
- Okay.
- That's caramelinda.
- Damn i wish i had spells.
- Do you still have that thunder step?
- Okay.
- Well.
- That's going to be-
- You wouldn't
have to get hit, right?
- But i think everyone
can get back, can't they?
'cause if not, everyone has a turn.
- About, yeah, just worried
about all these attacks
And opportunities are in this world.
- Oh, to get myself out?
- Yeah-
- I'll be able to get myself out.
I thought you meant if
someone else needed it.
- And the king, or?
- Will you'll be able to get away, right-
- I can get most of the
way, we could disengage.
- Yeah, that's what i figured
you could do, disengage.
- Ruby, you take five points of damage-
- I uncanny dodge.
- Uncanny dodge, okay,
five points of damage,
You take two points of damage.
- Great, where's my pencil?
- I'm gonna need a dexterity saving throw.
- Okay, i have, i-
- Oh, sorry, no, i actually don't need
That right now, you're okay.
And for these archers,
Two hits, one archer deals you,
11, 13, 15 points of damage.
- Okay.
- The next one deals you.
17, 19 points of damage.
- Okay.
- What is ruby at?
- 25.
- This guy's going to...
These guys are all gonna charge amethar.
Yeah, over here.
This guy's already dead.
Okay, that's gonna be,
All three are gonna hit,
and that's gonna miss.
That's a miss.
- Who missed?
- This guy misses right here.
- Riposte.
- Go for it.
- 25.
- That hits.
- He hasn't hit me yet, right?
- Correct.
- Nine plus nine equals 18.
- You behead him, as he misses, you.
And he falls dead, the ceresian captain.
The rest hit you for 10 plus
six, 16, halved to eight.
What's amethar at?
- 28.
- That is, those ceresians,
these guys are gonna turn here
And surround theo.
- Am i restrained, what's my deal?
- You are not restrained.
- Okay.
- You see they're gonna take some attacks,
But you do have a minus
to your armor class.
That is a critical hit.
You take 10 plus two, you
take 12 points of damage,
As one crits on you.
And if you would go ahead
And move that ceresian over to liam,
He's gonna charge you.
Take an attack, hit, and deal
liam six points of damage.
And then, that's these guys.
And bonathan is going
to attack saccharina.
- It's a miss.
That was almost a nat 20,
but instead it was a two.
That is going to, that's their turn.
That's now going to be saccharina, again.
- Okay.
Are you good, amethar?
- I'm about 90% sure i'm good,
Like 80, 60% sure i'm good.
- Whoa.
- I don't like those odds.
- I mean, i disengage and run
past the golems is the dream.
- Oh, but you still have
to run past the golem?
- But if you're...
It's a disengage.
It's a disengage.
- Okay.
I use my bonus action to
do my tempestuous magic
To fly 10 feet over, and
then i thunder step into here
With amethar, yeah.
- Amethar, okay.
- So everyone takes,
it's only third level.
So it's gonna be 3d10,
but i have to roll it.
- Okay, wild.
- And when i get in there,
i'm gonna say to swifty,
"swifty, show me how fast
you are, go get ruby."
- Okay, but she's maybe not gonna like it,
And that does it for me.
- You know what, you
know what i've learned?
Maybe you have a grating personality,
But you still have a lot to offer.
- I'm deep down bad, and i recognize that.
- Okay, and then i guess
i'll just stick with that.
So they all take, let's see,
they all take 17 damage.
And me and amethar go inside here-
- Vanish.
- Well, they actually take 20 damage,
Unless they save them,
they take 13 damage.
- Gotcha, okay.
Hold on one second, i'll
roll for these guys first.
This guy is down, and
the others take how much?
How much do they take if they save?
- Oh, they save, they take,
so it's 17 divided by...
Well, it's technically,
'cause i add three for my
storm aura kind of thing.
- 17 halved is eight, plus three is 11?
- Plus three is 11, yeah.
- Oh, they're all dead.
- Nice.
- Gone.
Grissini's gonna roll a save, makes it,
And how much is that you did?
You did, 17, or, yeah, 11-
11 if they made it.
- 11 if he saves.
- One, oh. One.
Incredible, you and
amethar vanish back in.
That's saccharina, cumulous, that's you.
- I'm still on the roof, right?
Seeing as i'm actually on the roof-
- Yeah.
- This is the last turn we'll
have before we go inside.
- Yeah.
- Okay, all right.
- No, i think we have
to get inside this turn.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, if we're after caramelinda.
- I want to-
- Oh, if we go after caramelinda?
- Well.
Unless you-
- You still have another round.
- No.
- No, i was saying ruby does.
- Oh, yeah, i think you might, yes.
- 'cause i think caramelinda's turn
Was right after yours, wasn't it?
- I think-
- I'll ask.
- I just want to, if i
jump to here and hit here,
Will i have enough movement
to get back inside?
- If you do a bonus action, yes,
I believe you will, 'cause-
- Just try and dodge that.
- Yeah, you definitely will.
- All right, i'm gonna
jump down on this mage dude
And hit him.
- Go and give me an attack.
- Okay.
Nat 20.
- Go ahead and roll damage.
- He's already been hurt, too.
- He's already been hurt, yeah, for sure.
- So that's 2d8?
- 2d8, plus whatever you add, yeah.
- 12?
Six, seven, plus 12.
- I think it's just plus
six, you don't double your-
- Okay, yeah, okay, so 12 plus seven, 19.
- 19, you, crack, and split
his skull open, he's dead.
- And then.
- Yes!
- I just take my full
movement to run inside,
'cause i think that's all i can do, right?
- Yes, and actually, you've got this guy
Blocking the door here.
- Mm-Hmm.
- Oh, go after him.
- But i'm in, that's a...
I have one more attack, right?
- You have one, you have
one more attack, yes.
You could try and take a shove action
To try to move him out
of the way of the door.
- Yeah, i guess i have to, i don't think
I can really do much else.
- Hopefully he'll come
after me and i can grab you-
- Oh, he's in a duel.
- Oh right he's in a compelled duel.
- He's in a compelled duel, that's true.
So maybe you can count
him moving on his turn.
- But you won't have another-
- Can-
- Hold your movement?
- Gooey's with you.
She's with you.
- Can i-
- You could also make an acrobatics check
To just try to move past him.
- Yeah, just because
i don't know how long.
Can i hold, to run in
once he starts moving
Out of the way, even after
i shove, try to shove him?
Or is that one or the other?
- You can, i think in this
instance, i will allow you
To hold a movement reaction
when he moves to dart in.
- Okay.
- Cool.
- Great, and i gained 11 temp hit points
For k*lling that dude.
- Cool, crack, you hold
your movement action.
- Crazy.
- Amethar, that's you.
- Ruby or liam or
theobald, is anyone worried
About making it back?
- No.
- I'm fine.
- Okay.
- I did send swifty to help,
But you could go after that guy in front.
- That's my plan.
- You can get back-
- Or you can-
- He's gonna come after me, he's-
- You could give a help
action to caramelinda.
- I learned something from
my daughter once upon a time.
Can i attack the golem at the front door?
- I know what you're gonna do.
- Yes, you can.
- And can i make it a reckless attack?
- Yes, you can.
- Great.
- A 19 hit?
- 19 hits.
- And i'll expend a superiority die
To use a maneuvering
attack and yell to ruby,
"ruby, let's go."
- Oh, nice.
- And that, so yeah, ruby
will be able to move up
To half her movement.
- Up to how much?
- I think it's half her movement
Without opportunity attacks.
- Without opportunity attacks.
- Oh, right now?
- Right now.
- Great.
- You get
that movement right now-
- Which way do you go?
- Half your movement, that's like 20-
- Oh, 'cause you have jump right now-
- No, my movement is 35, so yeah, 20.
- Okay, 20, great.
- Or 18.
- Yeah, we'll round up.
Cool, you get an immediate,
You can make it into the tent this round.
- Great, is it, what's the
distance back, is that-
- Hold on.
- No, don't go into that tent.
- Don't tell me what to do.
- The map of calorum,
And all of the troop movements
Of the imperial concord
and ceresian military.
- Yes.
- Great.
- Is it one superiority
die per attack, or-
- Per attack, yeah, so
you get, add that d8-
- So i, okay.
Six, nine,
Plus two, eight plus 11, plus nine, 20-
- 20 damage to that golem?
- And then i'll reckless attack it again.
- Go for it.
- Great, a 23.
- That hits.
- Can i use, expend another
superiority die outside attack?
- Yes, you can.
- Second maneuvering attack
from ruby, can ruby hear me?
- Yes, she can.
- Great, "ruby, let's go."
- "i'm coming."
- Great, so half your
movement again, that's, yeah.
- Wow.
- Seven plus seven, 14, plus nine.
23.
- Incredible, ruby, you snatch
everything up off the table
And can move 20 feet in
any direction you want.
- So i want to be moving this way,
But i want to use my jump,
my crazy jump to jump
So i don't get any opportunity attacks
From any of these f*ck who-
- They don't have opportunity attacks-
- They don't get them anyway
because of the superiority die.
- No, no, no, but-
- On your next turn.
- When my next turn starts
to go, so i want to prepare
To jump, basically-
- Five, 10, 15.
You prepare to jump right here,
So they won't get opportunity attacks.
- Exactly.
- And you grab the map and everything?
- Yeah, i got everything in there.
- Yeah, you, what an incredible
use of maneuvering attack.
I can't f*cking believe it-
- Thanks, dad.
- Hey, i learned it from your sister.
- I have not attacked a single person.
- Yeah, you scoop all that intel up,
Leaving all of the supplies and
all the glittering treasure,
And instead grabbing the intel.
- Great.
- You begin to rush back,
that is amethar's turn.
What a f*cking turn.
Oliver onionpatch is goddamned m*rder*d.
This is a battle with one scene
from the f*cking "godfather"
Happening over here.
- Me, looking exactly like him.
- Exactly, and-
- He gave me all the info.
- Yeah, exactly, the townsfolk huddle up.
The runes begin to glow.
- f*ck.
- This golem steps in, oh, i forgot.
On amethar's turn, manta
ray takes a bonus action
And slips, slides in and
skids under your legs.
- How many did you get-
- Oh, i got two, but a big
lumbering bread thing came after-
- Hey, i feel the same
way, i also got two,
But then hey, i mean,
all these guys showed up.
- And all these guys showed up.
- Can i run inside now?
- Yes, you can, whoosh,
cumulous, you rush inside.
The only people left outside are ruby,
Theo, and liam, i believe, right?
- And i also sent-
- Swifty to get-
- Does anyone get an
attack of opportunity on me?
- Although swifty can just help
Whoever is having trouble getting in.
- Did anyone get an attack
of opportunity on me
When i ran by?
- No.
- No, no one did, you had enough movement
To make that happen.
- Okay, i was just
wondering if shenanigans-Wise
There was something-
- These golems begin to
tear the sugar hut apart.
I'm going to make it raw
athletics checks to just,
These guys are very strong.
To destroy a building is
still incredibly hard.
I'm going to roll three
d20 in the box of doom.
If they get a nat 20,
they could potentially
Crack one of the stones.
- Okay.
- Five, 10, and a seven.
- Yeah, nice and mediocre.
- Yes.
- Brennan, thank you for rolling
So kind of milquetoast
today, i appreciate it-
- I should have been more
intense about the surprise round.
But you feel, you see one
of them has these weird
Pasta spaghetti arms that
wrap around one of the stones
And try to break it.
The golems start bashing the
walls, tearing them apart,
Towns folk are screaming.
An invisible spearia is
holding joren jawbreaker
As saccharina looks out,
Amethar is holding the f*cking
doorway and shouting to ruby.
This golem lumbers towards
theo and is going to take-
- And you don't have that
spell on you anymore, right,
'cause wasn't it concentration, or was it?
- 'cause that priest that that guy k*lled-
- Yeah, that spell is gone.
- Sweet.
- But this guy is gonna
take his attacks on you,
And that's a critical hit.
- Okay.
Bummer, maybe.
- You take 15.
- Okay.
- Points of damage, and
then 30 points of damage.
- Yikes, okay.
- What are you at?
- 51.
- Do you not have
A shield reaction?
- 51?
- I do have shield, but i
just want to use it in case
You get owned by our church or something.
- Wait, did you say 51?
- Yeah, i'm a tank, dude.
- Oh, come on, dude.
I was all tense-
- I'm gonna need two
constitution saving throws.
- Oh, no.
- It's just hit point max.
- Ooh, that's really good, that's 25.
- Okay.
- And yikes, a 10.
- That second attack, the one that dealt,
I believe it was 30, your
hit point maximum is reduced
By that amount.
- Jesus, by 30?
- By 30.
- Yikes, okay.
So my max is 68.
- Feel some kind of rot creep into you.
- Great.
- Theo, that is your turn.
- Okay, i'm gonna hold my turn
until liam and ruby get in.
- Okay.
- Is the chocolate dude-
- What about gooey?
- Oh, yes, on your turn,
gooey is gonna go five,
10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45...
She's gonna just take the
hits, take the swings.
She has another handful of weapons.
She gets hit, eight damage
from one of the soldiers
And the golem-
- Gooey, distribute the
weapons to the peasants.
- You see, she says, "look alive."
And just tosses glittering
candy weapons through the room.
A little kid grabs a magic
ax, and you see the kid's eyes
Go deep, dark purple, and he goes,
"i am the voice of the ancient"-
- Put that down, put that down.
- I am the voice of the ancient ax.
- Cut some of those noodles off.
- Theo's holding his action.
- Oh, wouldn't this also be swifty's turn?
- Yes, swifty is rushing out-
- Like who needs, i just want him to help
Whoever needs the most help-
- He rushes out to give ruby a help action
'cause that's the last person you said,
And then he darts back in.
Liam, walking in, you see keradin flanked,
As you hear the noise
of approaching troops.
- Liam, don't do it.
- Keradin appears, looks,
and sees you at the edge
Of the light and goes, "heretic."
- And i say back in
bulbian, "absolute faker."
- You're still the onion guy.
- Oh, yeah, he doesn't know
it's me, i'm the onion guy.
- Rushes in, grissini runs
here, and is going to take
His attacks at amethar.
That's a natural 20.
- Can you-
- Jesus.
- Oh, yeah, i can, i do
have a reaction, okay.
I'll take, you're pretty hurt, right?
- 28.
- 28, okay, i'll take the hit for my king.
My king, i don't want it.
- 16, 18.
- Yikes.
- 26.
- f*ck.
- 33 plus five
is 38 points of damage.
- Jesus, i am super hurt.
- Do you move inside now?
- Is he inside?
- Yeah, you've rushed inside,
you've used swirlwarden
To rush inside and, so you're
in, and then these two guys
Are gonna get attacks of
opportunity on you as you do that.
They both miss.
You rush past grissini
as he makes his attacks.
He's going to grant someone
he can see an attack,
He's gonna grant one of the
archers an attack on ruby.
That's a nat 20.
- Wait, what was swifty's point,
I sent swifty to go pick her up.
- Uncanny dodge.
So i'll take half damage.
- Seven plus two is nine, halved to four.
- My heart.
- What is ruby at?
- A crit, wow.
- 21.
- 21, okay.
That is going to be liam's turn.
- Don't do it, liam.
- Don't do it, liam.
- I still look like the onion, right?
- We have to go.
- You'll be left alone.
- I just am, did i ask something else?
I asked if i look like the onion.
Do i look like the onion?
- I think after, i think it
faded as you closed the book
And iced oliver onionpatch.
- All right, i'm running towards the door,
And i'm trying to jump
around this big golem guy.
- Give me a dc, it needs to
be a dc15 acrobatics check.
- Okay, interesting-
- Do you think that any
of the armed peasants
Have taken a shot at the golem?
- For advantage, dude, that
kid with the scary knife?
- Yeah, you get scary,
Scary ax kid gives you advantage.
- Thank you.
- Yes. Okay.
- This is a scary roll.
- Jesus.
- Didn't make it.
- Okay, you use your movement-
- It was a child, anyways.
- You use your movement to close.
Go ahead and count your movement
off as you move your mini.
- Okay, okay, let's see.
Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30.
- How much movement do you have, 30?
- 30.
- 30, you get 30.
So that's your movement, you
try to muscle past and can't.
You still have an action
and a bonus action.
So you get 30 as your movement.
I'm gonna say that you use
probably a bonus action dash
To try to move past, are
not able to move past.
You can use your action to
try to get past, as well.
- Okay, i guess i'm just gonna attack him.
- Is that what you mean?
- Or you can use another acrobat.
You can attempt another acrobatics check.
- Oh, i got you, yeah, yeah,
i would rather do that.
So just a-
- 2d roll, you roll advantage.
- Advantage again, okay.
I look over to the carrot
and i hold up the book
That's theirs, and i go, "ha."
Oh, at the very last minute,
it moved from a seven to a 17,
A one to a 17.
- You squeak in at the
last f*cking second, liam,
So it's gonna get a shot at you, hits.
Give me a constitution saving throw.
This guy deals 17 points
of damage to liam.
- Oh, there's the one.
- Your hit point max is
reduced by that amount.
This golem, as you rush past
it, slams you into the stone,
You collapse-
- For how much?
- 17 points of damage.
- Okay, cool.
- And you feel an
invisible hand on your face
And a voice say, "oh, no,
they took my sweet baby
And made him a w*r guy."
You are in the sugar hut.
Ruby, ruby, ruby.
- 'tis i.
- Last one outside the hut.
- The unkilling.
How far away am i?
- You are 40 feet.
- Dang.
- Or 35 feet from the doorway.
- Jump on the golem's head.
- Yeah, my jump is three
times my regular jump length
Though right now, so what is that?
- It means that you can get airborne,
But your movement stays the same.
The amount of distance
you cover is determined
By your speed, not your jump.
- All right, well, that's great.
- You got a help action
from the gingerbread-
- I do have a help action.
- Save it for the entry, right?
- Yeah, yeah.
The grappling-
- Oh, so what i-
- You also do have cunning action,
That bonus action disengage.
- I know, i just want
to f*cking k*ll grissini
On my way in, is what i'm trying to think
If i haven't attacked
a single f*cking person
This whole attack.
- Yeah, but you got the
most important amount
And you saved my mom.
- Yeah.
- Wouldn't you want to live?
- Yes, you're right, i do want to live.
That's fine, i live, i'll do
the sensible f*cking thing.
- I passed up keradin
deeproot, do you understand?
- No, i hear you, i do my full movement
With my bonus action disengage.
I get into the f*cking
hut, and we all live.
- These guys are still
blocking the door here,
So i am gonna need that acrobatics.
- Okay.
Yeah, a 23.
- Ruby leaps into the sugar hut.
The entire village is packed in here.
- Sorry, i'm gonna put-
- Yak in there?
- Thank you, my bird.
- Gressini begins to call
for the golems to charge,
As keradin turns the corner.
You, liam, stand there holding the book.
You've got the map.
Amethar and saccharina are standing here.
Caramelinda, the ice melts
around her, the runes glow,
And you see your father's eyes open up
As your mother fades from invisibility,
And he goes,
"look at you.
Something good.
I'm proud of you, preston."
- I was so hoping that was gonna happen.
- That's my pig, dude.
- That's all for this week
on, "a crown of candy."
Tune in next week for
another exciting episode.
- Yes.
Damn.
- This temple was made by
those very much like yourself
In ages long past.
- The people who k*lled preston
and the people who k*lled
Jet get to just carry on with
their great f*cking lives,
And we just have to live with it.
- I'm gonna say it, i'm a bad dad.
Not a good-
- No.
- No, no.
- You're half sisters, and
you just met in the past week.
I'm an empath.
- I think it's a little
More complicated than that.
- Yeah, it's hard, that's hard.
- Did you k*ll my sister?
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05x12 - Rescue at Buzzybrook
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.