I found your book.
If I ever show it to anyone, it'll guarantee my outsider status forever.
I'm sure once it's published, the author will come forward.
There's a certain someone that might actually like the way she's painted, and I'm not talking about Serena.
Blair, we kept us a secret 'cause we were afraid there was something more.
Dan and I have a real connection.
That is, until a prince came along.
Being together means going against my family, and if I'm going to take a stand, I need to know for certain that you feel as I do.
Will you marry me? You are cousin Charlie? Well, wait.
What about your trust fund? Why haven't you gotten it yet? I have to say it was a pretty devious plan.
Thank you, Ivy.
You played your part perfectly.
What we have is a great love.
No matter what we do and how much we fight, it'll always pull us in.
I should find Louis and tell him it's over.
We need to talk.
When I need to tell you is What she's trying to say is, you have my blessing.
This is your chance at happiness.
You deserve your fairy tale.
It's taking all the power I have to walk away from you.
But I need to let you go.
Being alone is just what I need.
No boys, no bars.
Just a bottle of sun block and a dozen of the best beach reads.
Are you turning "The Beautiful and Damned" into a movie? I got an idea.
We got the beautiful and the damned.
So this is not your assignment now.
I always know it's serious when even you know you can't dull the pain.
Just spin the globe and pick a point.
Bachelors who don't have to answer to anybody.
What is it? God, you're such a swan in this light.
Cut! Perfect! Print.
Okay, one thing I wanted to say.
That was great.
Loosen up.
Enjoy it a little bit.
Just 'cause you're in white tie doesn't mean you can't be dirty and drunk.
That's how these people were back then.
Right.
You know what I'm saying? They were having a good time.
So don't make it stiff.
You know, enjoy it a little bit.
Uh, the "New York Times" called and wants a quote on the decision to set the movie on the days of the crash of '29.
But I told that guy I don't wanna do that unless I first get the e-mail from Sue Zucconi.
Okay.
Hi.
Hey, Serena.
How are you? Good.
How are you, David? Good to see you.
Thanks.
Oh, no, no.
It's okay.
I got it.
You're busy.
But then who would answer the phones in the production office? I had the calls forwarded to my cell.
Well, if you're hands-free, all the better to collate the revisions and the production team's drafts.
Marshall, remember when you said that I could observe filming one day before the sh**t was over? sh**t's not over till next week.
Serena? Thank you.
Whoo! Dad! What are you doing here? I thought you'd still be in London, helping Jenny set up at Saint Martins.
Oh, she and Eric kicked me out when I didn't know who Sarah Burton was, so I came back here early and thought I'd spend some time with you.
Well, happy to have you.
Yeah.
I popped by Cece's.
This was waiting.
Maybe it's important.
It's from the city.
Huh.
It's, uh, Blair's "save the date"" you're not happy.
You guys are still friends, right? Yeah.
Friends.
Wonder if she invited Chuck.
If he's anywhere that fedex can reach Hi.
I don't believe we've met.
I'm Nate Archibald.
And, uh, you are? Waiting for me.
How was your nap? Great.
You were gone.
It's the only time I can sleep.
Why didn't you take someone with you for a change? Anything for me? Nope.
Well, if you hear anything crazy, it means I'm doing something right.
How does it feel to be home? Oh, it's gonna be tough reacclimating.
After living in a palace, how will a penthouse do? But maybe we should skip the wedding planning and pull the blinds and just spend the day in bed? We did that all summer.
But we can't put off our parents any longer.
Would a present help motivate you downstairs? Oh! How did you know just what I was missing? Shall I wear it to your Uncle's speech at the general assembly tomorrow? Unfortunately, you will not be allowed inside until you are an official member of the royal family.
Consider yourself lucky.
Albert's speeches are stronger than Ambien.
I do consider myself lucky.
I'm living a fairy tale.
But no heroine gets her happy ending without overcoming some obstacles, and this wedding will be no exception.
A civil service and a religious ceremony? Who has ever heard of such a thing?! Our guests will be sitting longer than a Terrence Malick movie.
I'm you're rock.
You can count on me.
How did you guys end up here? And--and whose boat is this? This is Allegra Versace's.
Chuck won it in a poker game in Chiang Mai.
He won Allegra, too, but, uh, that's another story.
Wow.
So--so he's okay then? Ask him yourself.
Serena.
Oh! Mwah! Hey.
Whoa.
Usually when you smile like this, you look like a creepy cheshire cat, but this one is real.
What is your secret? And if it's legal, I want some.
It's not a substance.
It's a state of mind.
A word.
Well, let me guess a dirty word.
"Yes"" yes, it's a dirty word? The word is "yes.
" I say it at anything.
If an opportunity presents itself, I take it.
There's nothing I won't try once, even happiness.
Mm, he's very inspiring.
I've been saying all summer he should run an infomercial.
You mock, but if someone gave me the opportunity, I'd say Yes.
Yeah, I think I get it.
I don't think you do.
See, you've been working all summer in your little assistant's job, driving a cart, getting coffee, sorting things.
Isn't there something more you want out of it? Actually, the producer, Jane, who I really admire, asked me my thoughts on a scene.
And I was really excited to write something up, but then Marshall, who's technically my supervisor, got wind of it and, uh He wasn't a huge fan of the idea.
What, so you never did it? Well, no, I placated Marshall, so now Jane probably thinks I'm a flake.
There's still time.
Go say the "ye"" you never said.
You know what? You--you are actually right.
And even if you are completely delusional, if it makes you look this good, I will find Jane tomorrow, Marshall be damned.
Who wants to go with me to make sure I actually go through with it? I know what you're gonna say.
Daniel.
Hey.
I was thinking about you just yesterday, old boy.
Read an advanced copy of a story that "Vanity Fair's" running in their next issue.
Reminded me of your work, only better.
Who wrote it? That's the thing.
No one knows.
Totally anonymous.
And everyone's talking about it.
What's the story about? Ah, it's a little wharton and a lot wolfe.
The modern mores and misdoings of upper crust Manhattan.
I thought of you because the protagonist's name was Dylan Hunter, of all things.
The initials being what they are Uh I'm sorry, Jeremiah.
I gottaI gotta run.
I see from your list of demands, Blair Demands? That you would like to have peonies in your bridal bouquet.
They're my favorite flower.
And they are very beautiful, but In our country, a bride always walks with carnations.
Hmm.
To the nearest florist and demands a refund.
I'll be holding peonies.
Aren't I, Louis? Louis? With you looking so beautiful, who will even notice the flowers? Oh, "Vogue Paris" would like to have a photo of you in your wedding dress for their November issue.
Obviously, this is a very big deal as As "Vogue Paris" is perhaps the best thing to happen to the world ever.
Well, I know this is very short notice, but not to worry, because my dress is already on the plane here.
Your dress? Everybody has been married in this dress, from my great-grandmother on down.
Louis, I've already lost on the food, the flowers, You know how important choosing my dress is for me.
But this is a dress for a royal.
Hey.
You'll love maman's dress.
I-I promise.
I can't wait to see you in it.
How about some cold prosecco to k*ll the pain? This just in.
Due to a reader's dumpster dive outside a well-known fifth Avenue Prewar, it appears someone we know and love is in the family way.
So this is your humble Gossip Girl issuing an A.
P.
P.
B.
Who could the mother of our next scandal be? What's wrong, Dorota? Nothing.
Uh, nothing at all.
Prosecco? No, thank you.
I think I need all my wits for the next round.
Oh, no, it's okay.
I gave up drinking at the beginning of summer.
You know, L.
A.
lifestyle.
Come on.
You guys need one.
Cheers.
At least this secret is bound to show itself soon.
The first meeting was a disaster, s.
He conceded to Sophie on everything.
Oh, it was so out of control, you would've thought he was Italian.
Well, finding a balance between your mother and your fiancee has gotta be tough.
I'm sure he's just trying to keep the peace the best he can.
Stop being so rational and trying to see both sides.
I haven't even told you the worst part yet.
They want me to wear Sophie's dress.
Not just on the day, but in "Vogue Paris," too.
Hand-me-downs are for charity and second children, not for the bride on her wedding day.
Louis knows how upset I am.
He said he'd talk to Sophie, but I don't know.
B.
, first of all, "Vogue Paris", that's amazing! And you're gonna look beautiful in whatever you wear, which should be Sophie's gown.
That way, she has a gorgeous photo of you looking exactly how she wants, and that way you have more leverage to wear your own dress on the real day.
See, this is why I wish you were here.
Aren't you done out there? Los Angeles is a plastic surgery layover, not somewhere you live.
Serena, your guests just came through the gate.
Okay, thank you.
I'll be right there.
B.
, I love you and I miss you, too.
All right.
Tomorrow, same time? Today we did me, so we can do you? Of course.
You're on my schedule.
Aw.
Listen to you, all professional.
Bye.
Miss Blair, have you seen "Gossip Girl" lately? No.
We need to discuss something Something affecting both our futures.
The only thing affecting our futures is your inability to clear a table fast enough.
It appears that Louis has spoken to Sophie.
**** I need to look my best for my first royal apology.
Here you go.
Thank you.
And do you mind telling Jane that I need to talk to her? I know they're on lunch.
Sure.
I don't remember approving a set visit for your friends.
You must be Marshall.
And who are you? He's Chuck Bass.
Hey, so the stuntman's prepped for the fall.
Can you, uh, ask David to meet me by the bag to talk to the double? What's the stunt? I could show you.
You know what I have to say.
Then go.
I have to find David.
I'll tell Jane you stopped by.
Get back to work.
Well, the zip codes may be different, but d*uche bags are the same no matter where you go.
But now he's gone.
Go find Jane.
Okay, what are you gonna do? Hey, s.
Is this my noon audition? - Yes.
Are you kidding me? You're kidding me.
You're gonna be great.
Yeah, I'll totally hold.
Thanks, Epperly.
I don't get it.
Why would Vanessa steal your story? Oh, to teach me a lesson.
Let's just, uh, hope I'm wrong, which I'm not.
Did Gabriela ever call you back? You think maybe Jenny's heard from Vanessa? Why would she call Jenny? Yeah, yeah, I'mI'm here.
Okay.
Thank you.
Epperly's friend at "Vanity Fair's" says all he knows is Graydon Carter read the story and decided to run it.
Oh, that's pretty cool, right? I mean, "Vanity Fair's" gonna publish your writing? If only they were doing it because of my writing.
I mean, theyThey think it's about a celebrity.
Really? Why? Oh, because it's about a celebrity, kind of.
Uh, Blair Waldorf, future Princess of Monaco.
I wrote it in the spring, after she and I What? Where you going? To find the one person what can help me stop this before it's too late.
It's okay.
I accept.
Accept what? Your apology.
You didn't talk to your mother.
It's just so hard to say no to her.
I worry she'll make things more difficult later if she doesn't get her way right now.
I'm trying to ease her into our future.
The future is here.
We're gonna be married in three months.
I need to know that we're in this together and I'm not just standing here alone.
You're not.
I'm right here.
Those are just words.
I need proof.
You're right.
The dress discussion can wait until tomorrow.
But tonight, I show my mother that you come first.
Be ready at 6:00.
Ready for what? You will be on my arm at the general assembly gala.
I thought there was a rule.
It's about to be broken.
What do you say? This isn't right.
These two walls need to be white.
Serena.
Are you looking for Marshall? No.
You, actually.
I hope it's to tell me why you didn't follow up after our first meeting.
I didn't scare you away, did I? No.
No, no, no.
Not at all.
I just didn't want to step on Marshall's toes.
Why not? Keeping on them is what David hired you to do.
If it weren't for you, he wouldn't have even read the book.
And it was his thoughtful comparison of the book to the script that's helped keep all of the departments focused.
But I-I did that the first week.
If I would've known he was doing it, too, I I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble.
Please don't No one's in trouble.
A little reminder that things don't go unnoticed never hurts.
What would you say to a little more responsibility, see how you do with it? I'd say Yes.
Jane just called, gave me the rest of the day off.
Said I was taking too long to finish her task list and that I should leave the rest to you.
Looks like things really do come easy to Serena Van Der Woodsen, just like I heard.
But if you think you can do my job better than I can, here's the test.
"Pull tomorrow's sides, "update phone sheet, take dogs to groomer, write coverage of eugenides.
" This isn't so bad.
How long did she give you to do this? Till tomorrow.
Okay, well, I'll have it done by the party later.
Well, I hope I don't see you there.
Oh, you will.
Wait.
Have you seen my friends? Hey, get down from there! What was that? Were we rolling? Guys.
Guys.
G You're about to be in a lot of trouble, but I get the feeling you don't care.
You free tonight? I am now.
Oh! I forgot to ask you.
How was the audition? Well, after I told them I wasn't an actor, they said, "that's too bad, because you'd be perfect "as a kid from an east coast political family "who's constantly manipulated while trying to keep everyone around him happy.
" They told me that.
You should've said, "yes!" I mean it.
If there was still in Oprah, she would've been all over that.
Oh, I like Gayle.
Me, too.
So by the way, thank you for letting me use your card.
If you hadn't been here, I don't know how I would've gotten this task done Which I'm sure was Marshall's intention.
Hey, gotta love California's laws.
Oh, by the way.
Does Patrick Roberts have glaucoma or something? Like a--like a little nervous twitch? Who knows? It was the last thing on the list.
"Get Patrick his medicinal weed.
" I wonder which one he'll want Blueberry headband, dragon of shaolin, or Sushi Friday? Headband's pretty good From what I've heard from people telling me that it's good.
No, no judgment.
I'm just curious why you need it.
It's not like cruising around on a yacht is stressful.
Uh, no, I know that, okay? But doing nothing has given me a lot of time to think, you know? And maybe the last couple years are starting to take their toll on me, between my family, Juliet Raina, you.
I mean, sometimes I wish I could just reinvent myself, you know? Well, you've come to the right place.
Everyone in Hollywood reinvents themselves.
I mean, look at me.
I have gone from "it" girl to working girl in just 3,000 Miles.
I'm impressed.
I'm impressed.
Look, if you're sick of being you, be someone else for a while.
Yeah, and just where do you suppose that I do that? At the party we earned our way into tonight.
What do you say? My, don't you look lovely! Miss Blair go to U.
N.
With Louis and the Princess? I-I-I thought it wasn't proper.
It isn't.
Miss Blair testing prince.
Louis told me he would stand up to his mother tonight.
So if he does, everything can continue the way it's meant to.
And if he doesn't, he and his mother will have a lovely wedding in November without a bride.
Or she could just take my place, which seems to be what she wants.
Wish me luck.
Darling, is the stress of the wedding getting to you? Testing a good man who loves you never ends well.
Nothing is getting to me, mother.
I am a Waldorf woman.
I need to know I still have a voice and that that voice is heard.
Now I'm gonna go wait for Louis downstairs.
I swear, sometimes I don't know where she gets it from.
Louis.
Dan.
Hey.
Uh, listen, I-I really need your help.
I wrote a story that this magazine is publishing in their next issue, and I really don't want them to.
I have no idea how to stop it, but I-I figured, you know, if you put your royal weight behind it, it could be dead in an hour.
I'm sorry.
I have an event I'm late for.
Blair is Blair is the one the story's about.
I swear to you, if this story ever sees the light of day, you are not gonna be happy.
You ready to go? I thought your text said you were bringing a friend.
Oh, Marilu got a ride with Patrick Roberts.
She goes wherever he goes anyway.
Why? Are they together? No, she's his minder from the bond company.
He has to stay sober, or the film gets shut down.
Luckily, you and I don't.
But you won't be needing that helmet.
I brought my truck.
Riding Mulholland can be pretty dangerous, and that's where the party is.
Well, I'll throw this inside.
Stick and stones may just break bones, but the wounds from words never heal Especially when they're words we hoped we'd never read.
On second thought, I'm sure I could ride carefully.
Nothing's that dangerous, right?
Hey.
Here you go.
Oh, you can't possibly Have finished? She did.
Everything? Well, technically, there's still one thing left.
Have you see Patrick? Yeah, outside by the pool.
This is your chance.
What are you talking about? Come on.
You're at a party all the way across the country from your real life, where no one knows your name.
Who do you wanna be? No.
No, I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.
All right? Oh, my God.
Are you that guy-- that guy from that movie? Uh yes.
I love that guy.
Can we have your autograph? Yeah.
Do you live in L.
A.
? - Yes.
Is that your Maybach in the driveway? - Yeah.
This is your house? - Yes.
How about a tour? Yes.
Absolutely.
Uh, this is a private tour.
My, my.
If it isn't New York's finest.
Nice to see you out and about for once.
Thanks, Patrick.
It's good to be out.
Hey, I, um, have something for you.
What are you doing? Production sent me for it.
Well, that is awesome.
Marilu said it was cool? Well, I-I guess.
Have fun? I will now.
I can't even believe I'm answering this call.
I'm so sorry, Blair.
Something's come up that's taking me longer than anticipated.
Now it looks like I won't make it to the gala at all.
You're going with "Vague" on this one? "Something's come up"? Why don't you just admit that you're already in the U.
N.
with your mother instead of lying? I'm not.
I wish I could tell you where I am, but I made a promise.
And we know how you honor the promises you make, as long as they're not to me.
Tell your mother congratulations.
She won.
What are you talking about? Call down to Jimmy and tell him to get me a cab.
Where are you going? - Do you collect? - Yes.
A Helmut Newton, right? Yes.
Is that Lauren Hutton? Yes.
Or is it Lisa Taylor? Yes.
How'd you know? Mm, I have a good eye And good taste.
Is this the master bedroom? Let's destroy it.
How is the score going? Uh, well, we've almost finished the key theme.
And we've been listening to that Leonard Cohen score that he did for "McCabe & Mrs.
Miller" for inspiration.
Wow.
I'm sorry.
Would you two excuse me just for a minute? Is everything okay? Marshall just informed me that he found Patrick with some pot, which luckily he was able to confiscate before disaster struck.
Disaster? Marilu's from the insurance company.
The movie only keeps its completion bond if Patrick stays sober.
If she found out he broke his sobriety, she'd have to shut the movie down.
I can't imagine how he got his hands on it.
Well, I'm gonna go get Patrick.
He'll tell us.
He is scared out of mind at what he almost did.
Excuse me.
Oh, thank God.
I was Blair? Hey, what are you doing here? Did Louis, uh Uh, I didn't know where else to go.
I wasn't gonna come here.
I hadn't talked to you all summer, and You're the only person I know in New York right now, and I really need a friend, if you're still Of course I am.
What's going on? I am about to call off my engagement.
I can't marry someone who doesn't stand up for me, not even to his own mother.
And when I tell him it's over, I'll need to get away, to clear my head.
You were in the Hamptons? Uh, amagansett.
Cece's house.
Is it empty? Take me there.
Okay.
Uh, we can, uh, we can take my dad's car.
You'll call Louis from there.
I'll be there with you, for whatever you need.
Often, all it takes to find a new path is to make a sharp turn and see what you find.
You gotta take it easy up here.
People write songs about wiping out on our L.
A.
roadways.
I'm not scared.
Well, you should be.
I'm not scared of anything.
But beware.
Sometimes what you're faced with is a dead end.
Oh, my God.
Are you okay? I'm perfect.
You see any blood anywhere? I could use a glass of scotch, however.
Should we walk or should I drive you on yours? Okay, I know I don't know you at all, and you probably could give a damn about what I have to say.
Most of the people in my business are in it because they're thrill-seekers or adrenaline junkies.
But for some of them, there's something darker going on.
I think you need help.
I said I'm fine.
Well, that may be, but This date is over.
Good luck, Chuck.
Thank you.
My best friend was right.
Saying "yes" makes everything better.
Well, based on my own recent experience, I've have to agree.
Now it's time for you to leave.
Well, if that's how you want to be about it, okay.
But it is my house.
Don't you think you should be the one to go? Actually, this is my house.
And just so you know, this isn't the master bedroom.
It's a guest room the smallest one.
Nice to meet you, by the way, um Nate.
Mm.
That's a great name.
Uh, and you are? Done now.
How could you do this to me? You think I didn't know what you were up to? Try to tell me that doing everything on Jane's list wasn't just to show me up.
So you decided to add a few tasks that could get me fired, not to mention shut down the movie? I didn't think you could actually come through.
I thought you'd have to tell Jane you couldn't finish.
I need this job more than you do, okay? I pay for my life.
I have student loans, rent, a car lease.
I can't afford to get fired.
And I can? You're Serena Van Der Woodsen.
You do one lap around this party, you'll get ten job offers.
You weren't even looking when you found this one.
In two weeks, when you're at college, will you even look back at this as anything more than that thing you did that summer? This is my career.
I haven't found him yet, but when I do Marilu, wait.
What's going on? I'm the one that gave Patrick the pot.
And he only took it because I told him production okayed it.
Someone played a joke on me, and if I wasn't so intent on proving my worth, I-I wouldn't have fallen for it, but I did.
I'm sorry.
You can tell Jane I'll clear out my desk in the morning.
I don't understand, Louis.
Are you following me now? No, Blair.
Actually It's fine if you are, because I can do this in person then.
No, Louis is not here for you.
He's not? What the hell is going on? Louis didn't meet you tonight because he was helping me.
Helping you what? Last spring, I-I-I wrote a story about you, and due to a series of unfortunate events, that story is going to be published.
Was going to be.
Was.
Uh, I asked, and Louis kindly obliged to Help me k*ll it before it came out so it wouldn't embarrass you, and that's exactly what he did.
He really is your prince.
It may not have been standing up to his mother, but it was protecting you against the world.
You gotta understand, I didn't ever think anyone would read it.
You let me almost walk away from everything tonight.
And all the while, you knew exactly where Louis was, exactly what he was doing for me.
How could you let that happen? Why would you? What possible reason could you have? Lonely boy learning three words, eight letters don't come out right when no one wants to hear them.
Come on, Louis.
Let's go.
I'm done here.
Hey, are you happy? We decided what we wanted, went after it like you said, and look what happened.
Yes, look.
Serena, you accepted responsibility without hesitation for maybe the first time in your life.
And, Nate, you had more fun not being you than you've ever had actually being you, which means you now know you need to change.
Is it just me, or is what he's saying actually making sense? Maybe we're not awake yet.
We're growing up.
We need to start being responsible for ourselves instead of always being responsible for others.
What, you knew? Nate, I know you think I must be dying inside because Blair is marrying another man.
But we let each other go.
So stop doing stuff like this and start focusing on yourself.
And you.
Though this part of your journey may have come to an end, it shows you there's a world out there you never knew existed, one you want to be part of.
Have you ever thought of writing a book? People like me don't write books.
We're written about.
Okay, I should go clean out my desk.
Yep.
I should probably get outta here, too.
I'm pretty sure I left my phone at the party last night, and while I'm at it, I should probably apologize to the hostess.
I'll stay here alone with my genius.
Come here.
Ah.
Too close.
Too close.
Don't be shy.
Don't be shy.
What? No, is it my hair? I didn't want to say anything in front of Louis, but I found something hidden in the pantry.
Is this why you have been acting so strange about Louis? Is there something you need to tell me? Is me who needs to confess.
Baby number two on way.
This is what you needed to tell me yesterday that would affect our future? Yes.
I-I just want to tell you first, but you were away, and it not right to text "Hello, pregnant!" AndAnd then you were back, but you did not let me speak, and so now news comes out this way.
At least news out.
And "Gossip Girl" talk about me.
I feel so special.
Congratulations! Well, well, well, upper east siders.
I got my answer after all, and it turns out the only thing expanding at the Waldorf residence is the help.
Yet all this talk about expecting has got me thinking about expectations.
I had no idea I was gonna meet him out here, I didn't expect to make contact till New York.
But something tells me I'm gonna see him again even sooner than I imagined.
Oh, much sooner.
Call you later.
You must be here for this.
Yes.
Thank you.
And listen, I know you don't know really know me at all, but I feel like I owe you an apology for pretending to be someone else.
And I only did it because I'm just now starting to realize that, well, I don't really know who I am.
Anyway, I'm sorry, but I still had a lot of fun with you.
As did I.
And I accept.
Who knows? Maybe we'll see each other around sometime.
Yeah.
Good-bye.
Bye.
You wanted to see me? Yes.
There's a whole load of things I need done on my list this morning.
Oh, I-I guess you didn't hear.
I heard.
Marilu told me.
"The Beautiful and The Damned" wraps in a week, but how would you like to keep working for me? You're the first one in every morning, the last one to leave every night.
I need someone with your dedication and fire.
Although you might want to check with me the next time one of my tasks seems a little off-the-wall.
Yeah.
Well, what do you say? I would love to.
Hey.
What's going on? Lily has another meeting with the decorator.
She's redecorated so many times, it looks exactly the same.
I keep telling Andy Cohen he should make a show about her called "The Real House Arrests of New York.
" Well, you can, uh, hang here with me, help me with this mail.
Good, because I have some time before the 9/11 Memorial 10th Anniversary album launch.
Oh, and by the way, your story was amazing.
Thanks for letting me read it.
I'm just a little bit confused.
I-I expected something negative about Blair, but in fact, it was quite the opposite.
Why was it so important that no one read it? Did you make it to the end? Well, I assumed that was artistic license.
Did that actually happen? Mm.
A writer never tells.
So now I just have to make sure that the book that chapter comes from never sees the light of day.
There's a whole book? Well, don't get too excited.
I'm hoping, uh, Vanessa only leaked the one chapter to the magazine, since that's all they had.
Oh, look.
Air mail from Barcelona.
The thing about expectations is most of the time, someone else sets them for you, yet you feel like they've been there all along and you can't wait to live up to them.
You ready to go? I'm not coming.
Guess why.
Jane offered me a job.
What did you say? I said yes! Really? That's great.
Oh, thank you.
I mean, it wouldn't have happened without you two.
How about now? Your new L.
A.
lifestyle ready to make an exception? Well, I think so.
Pop it open.
Of course that happened.
Jeez.
There'sThere's a bathroom in the dressing room right there.
I'll be right back.
Just come on.
But just because you know what's expected of you doesn't mean you still can't surprise everyone.
Blair You look beautiful.
Of course she does.
Mother, Blair is not carrying those.
And there are some other things I need to talk to you about, too.
Do they know? Know what? How far along you are.
I'd say six weeks? They sent me your measurements.
Well, you obviously can't read, or they were wrong when you got them Because I'm not pregnant.
Lie to me all you want, but your body will be telling the whole world the truth by the time of your wedding.
Nothing stays hidden for long.
The one month anniversary of our move.
It's crazy.
What's crazy is if your Uncle hadn't left you that tiny bit of money, we never would've left Miami.
I just hope you don't mind working a crap job with me till we figure stuff out.
No, I'm just glad to be away from there.
Ivy, stop talking to your boyfriend and start working.
You're late.
Don't get fired.
We need the cash.
Charlie! And you often find what you least expect is right in front of you Oh, my gosh! Serena? Waiting to change everything forever.
What are you doing here? Oh, what am I doing here? What are you doing here? Ivy.
Ivy, your shift.
That was weird.
Um, let's get out of here.
Yeah, let's go.
Okay.
Whether you want to or not.
So good to see you.
It's good to see you.
X.
O.
X.
O.
, Gossip Girl.
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5x01 - Yes, then Zero
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Privileged teens living on the Upper Eastside of New York City. You know you love me. xoxo
Privileged teens living on the Upper Eastside of New York City. You know you love me. xoxo
Re: 5x01 - Yes, then Zero
(OG version)
WOMAN:
Where has she been?
GOSSIP GIRL:
And who am I?
That's one secret I'll never tell.
You know you love me. XOXO...
...Gossip Girl.
[CHUCKLING]
Heh. What is it?
God, heh, you're such a swan
in this light.
DAVID:
Cut. Perfect. Print.
Okay, one thing I wanted to say.
That was great.
Loosen up, enjoy it.
You're in a white tie...
...doesn't mean you can't be dirty.
That's how these people were.
They were having a good time.
So don't make it stiff.
Enjoy it a bit.
Uh, The New York Times
wants a quote on your decision...
...to set the movie around
the crash of '29.
I told that guy I don't wanna do that
unless I first get the e-mail.
Hey, Serena, how are you?
Good. How are you, David?
Good to see you.
It's okay, I got it. You're busy.
Who would answer the phones
in the office?
I had the calls forwarded to my cell.
Collate the revisions
into the production teams' drafts.
Okay. Marshall, remember when
you said that I could observe...
...the filming one day before
the sh**t was over?
sh**t's not over till next week.
SERENA:
Thank you.
[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
Dad.
I thought you'd still be in London...
...helping Jenny at Saint Martins.
Uh, she kicked me out when
I didn't know who Sarah Burton was.
I thought I'd spend
some time with you.
Oh, happy to have you.
I popped by CeCe's, this was waiting.
Maybe it's important, it's from the city.
[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
-It's, uh, Blair's save the date.
RUFUS: You're not happy.
-You guys are still friends, right?
DAN: Yeah, friends.
-Wonder if she invited Chuck.
-If he's anywhere that FedEx can reach.
Hi. I don't believe we've met.
I'm Nate Archibald.
-And, uh, you are?
-Waiting for me.
[SCOFFS]
How was your nap?
Great. You were gone.
It's the only time I can sleep.
Why didn't you take someone with you
for a change?
-Anything for me?
-Nope.
Well, if you hear anything crazy,
it means I'm doing something right.
LOUIS:
How does it feel to be home?
BLAIR: Oh, it's going
to be tough re-acclimating.
After living in a palace,
how will a penthouse do?
But maybe we should skip
the wedding planning...
...and pull the blinds
and just spend the day in bed?
We did that all summer.
But we can't put off our parents
any longer.
Would a present help motivate
you downstairs?
[GASPS]
[CHUCKLES]
How did you know
just what I was missing? Oh!
Shall I wear it to the General Assembly
tomorrow?
You will not be allowed
inside until you are an official member...
...of the royal family.
Consider yourself lucky, heh. Albert's
speeches are stronger than Ambien.
I do consider myself lucky.
I'm living a fairy tale.
But no heroine gets her happy ending
without overcoming some obstacles.
And this wedding will be no exception.
ELEANOR: A civil service
and religious ceremony?
Who's ever heard of such a thing?
Our guests will be sitting longer
than a Terrence Malick movie.
I'm your rock. You can count on me.
[SIGHS]
SERENA:
How did you guys end up here?
And whose boat is this?
This is Allegra Versace's.
Chuck won it in a poker game
in Chiang Mai.
[CHUCKLES]
He won Allegra too, uh,
but that's another story.
Wow, so he's okay then?
Ask him yourself.
Serena.
SERENA:
Oh, hey.
Whoa, usually when you smile like this...
...you look like a creepy Cheshire Cat...
[CHUCKLES]
...but this one is real.
What is your secret?
And if it's legal, I want some.
It's not a substance, it's a state of mind.
A word.
Let me guess. A dirty word?
-Yes.
NATE: Heh.
"Yes," it's a dirty word?
The word is "yes." I say it at anything.
If an opportunity presents itself, I take it.
There's nothing I won't try once.
Even happiness.
Hmm, he's very inspiring.
He should run an infomercial, heh.
You mock, if someone gave me
the opportunity, I'd say--
"Yes." Yeah, I think I get it.
I don't think you do.
You've been working all summer...
...at your little assistant's job. Driving
a cart, getting coffee, sorting things.
Isn't there something more
you want out of it?
Actually, the producer, Jane,
who I really admire...
...asked me my thoughts on a scene.
And I was really excited
to write something up...
...but, Marshall, who's
my supervisor got wind of it, uh....
-Heh, he wasn't a huge fan of the idea.
-What, so you never did it?
Uh, no, I placated Marshall,
so now Jane probably thinks I'm a flake.
There's still time. Go say the "yes"
you never said.
[CHUCKLES]
You know what? You are actually right.
Even if you are completely delusional,
if it makes you look this good...
...I will find Jane tomorrow...
-Marshall be damned.
CHUCK: Hmm.
Who wants to go with me to make sure
I go through with it?
I know what you're gonna say.
-Daniel.
-Hey.
HARRIS: I was thinking about you
just yesterday, old boy.
Read an advance copy of a story
that Vanity Fair's running next issue.
Reminded me of your work,
only better.
[CHUCKLES]
-Who wrote it?
HARRIS: That's the thing, no one knows.
Totally anonymous,
and everyone's talking about it.
What's the story about?
Uh, it's a little Wharton and a lot Woolf.
The modern mores and misdoings...
...of upper-crust Manhattan.
I thought of you since the protagonist's
name was Dylan Hunter, of all things.
Initials being what they are.
Uh.... I'm sorry, Jeremiah, I gotta run.
-I see from your list of demands, Blair--
-Demands?
--that you would like to have peonies
in your bridal bouquet?
They're my favorite flower.
And they are very beautiful...
...but in our country,
a bride always walks with carnations.
Hmm. To the nearest florist
and demands a refund.
I'll be holding peonies.
Aren't I, Louis?
Louis?
With you looking so beautiful,
who will notice the flowers?
Vogue Paris would like to have a photo
of you in your wedding dress...
...for their November issue.
Obviously this is a very big deal--
Heh, as Vogue Paris is perhaps the
best thing to happen to the world ever.
SOPHIE:
I know this is very short notice...
...but not to worry because my dress is
already on the plane here.
Your dress?
Everybody's been married in this dress...
...from my great-grandmother on
down.
Louis, I've already lost on the food,
the flowers, and the font.
You know how important
choosing my dress is for me.
But this is a dress for a royal.
Hey.
You'll love Mama's dress, I promise.
I can't wait to see you in it.
How about some cold Prosecco,
to k*ll the pain?
GOSSIP GIRL:
This just in.
Due to a reader's dumpster dive outside
a well-known Fifth Avenue prewar...
...it appears someone we know and love
is in the family way.
So this is your humble Gossip Girl
issuing an APPB.
Who could the mother
of our next scandal be?
What's wrong, Dorota?
Nothing. Uh, nothing at all.
-Prosecco?
BLAIR: No, thank you.
I think I need all my wits
for the next round.
Oh, no, it's okay. I gave up drinking
at the beginning of summer.
You know, L.A. lifestyle.
-Come on, you guys enjoy.
CHUCK & NATE: Cheers.
GOSSIP GIRL: At least this secret
is bound to show itself soon.
BLAIR:
The first meeting was a disaster, S.
He conceded to Sophie on everything.
Ugh, it was so out of control...
...you would have thought
he was Italian.
Finding a balance between your mother
and your fiancée is tough.
He's trying to keep the peace
the best he can.
Stop being so rational
and trying to see both sides.
I haven't told you the worst part yet:
They want me to wear Sophie's dress.
Not just on the day
but in Vogue Paris too, ugh.
Hand-me-downs are for charity
and second children...
...not for the bride on her wedding day.
Louis knows how upset I am.
He said he'd talk to Sophie,
but, ugh, I don't know.
B, first of all, Vogue Paris,
that's amazing.
You're gonna look beautiful...
...in whatever you wear
which should be Sophie's gown.
That way she has a gorgeous photo
of you looking exactly how she wants...
...you have more leverage
to wear your own dress on the real day.
This is why I wish you were here.
Aren't you done there?
L.A. is a plastic-surgery layover,
not somewhere you live.
MAN [OVER RADIO]:
Your guests just came through the gate.
Thank you, I'll be right there.
B, I love you, and I miss you too.
All right. Tomorrow, same time?
Today we did me, so we can do you?
You're on my schedule.
Aw, listen to you, all professional.
Bye.
Miss Blair, have you seen
Gossip Girl lately?
-No.
-We need to discuss something.
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
Something affecting both our futures.
The only thing affecting our futures is
your inability to clear a table fast.
It appears that Louis has spoken
to Sophie.
[SPEAKING IN POLISH]
I need to look my best
for my first royal apology.
Here you go, thank you.
Mind telling Jane I need to talk
to her? I know they're on lunch.
I don't remember approving a visit
for your friends.
-You must be Marshall.
-Who are you?
NATE & SERENA [IN UNISON]:
He's Chuck Bass.
ALLY:
The stuntman's prepped.
Can you, uh, ask David to meet me
to talk to the double?
What's the stunt?
I could show you.
-You know what I have to say.
-Go, heh.
I have to find David. I'll tell Jane
you stopped by, get back to work.
The zip codes may be different,
but douchebags are the same.
-He's gone, go find Jane.
-Heh, what are you gonna do?
Hey, S. Is this my noon audition?
-Yes.
-Wait. Are you kidding me?
You're gonna be great.
Yeah, I'll totally hold.
Thanks, Epperly.
I don't get it.
Why would Vanessa steal your story?
To teach me a lesson.
Let's just, uh, hope I'm wrong.
Which I'm not.
Did Gabriela ever call you back?
Think Jenny's heard from Vanessa?
Why would she call Jenny?
Yeah, yeah, I'm here.
Okay, thank you.
Epperly's friend at Vanity Fair says...
...all he knows is Graydon Carter read
the story and decided to run it.
Oh, that's pretty cool, right?
Vanity Fair's gonna publish your writing?
If only they were because of my writing.
They think it's about a celebrity.
Really? Why?
Because it's about a celebrity. Kind of.
Uh, Blair Waldorf,
future Princess of Monaco.
I wrote it in the spring, after she and I....
What, heh?
Where are you going?
To find the one person who can help me
stop this before it's too late.
It's okay, I accept.
-Accept what?
-Your apology.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
You didn't talk to your mother.
It's just so hard to say no to her.
I worry she'll make things more difficult
later if she doesn't get her way now.
I am trying to ease her into our future.
The future is here.
We're going to be married
in three months.
I need to know we're in this together
and I'm not just standing here alone.
You're not. I'm right here.
Those are just words. I need proof.
[SIGHS]
You're right.
The dress discussion can wait
until tomorrow...
...but tonight I show my mother
that you come first.
Be ready at 6.
Ready for what?
You will be on my arm at the gala.
-I thought there was a rule.
-It's about to be broken.
What do you say?
This isn't right.
-These two walls need to be wide.
MAN: Oh.
Serena, are you looking for Marshall?
No, you, actually.
I hope it's to tell me why you didn't
follow up after our first meeting.
-I didn't scare you away, did I?
-No.
-I didn't wanna step on Marshall's toes.
JANE: Why?
Keeping him on them
is what David hired you to do.
If it weren't for you, he wouldn't
have read the book.
It was his comparison
of the book to the script...
...that's kept all the departments
focused.
I did that the first week.
If I would have known
he was doing it too, I--
I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble--
No one's in trouble.
A little reminder that things don't go
unnoticed never hurts.
What would you say
to a little more responsibility?
See how you do with it.
I'd say, "Yes." Heh.
Jane just called.
Gave me the rest of the day off.
Said I was taking too long to finish her
task list, that I should leave it to you.
Looks like things do come easy to
Serena van der Woodsen, like I heard.
But if you think you can do my job
better than I can, here's the test.
[SCOFFS]
"Pull tomorrow's sides, update phone
sheet, take dogs to groomer...
...write coverage of Eugenides."
This isn't so bad.
-How long did she give you?
-Till tomorrow.
Well, I'll have it done by the party later.
I hope I don't see you there.
Oh, you will.
Wait, have you seen my friends?
MAN:
Hey, get down from there.
[CROWD CLAMORING]
DAVID:
Who's that? Were we rolling?
ALLY:
Guys, guys. Heh.
You're about to be in a lot of trouble,
but I get the feeling you don't care.
You free tonight?
I am now.
Oh, I forgot to ask you.
How was the audition?
After I told them I wasn't an actor,
they said "Too bad...
...because you'd be perfect as a kid
from an East-Coast political family...
...who's constantly manipulated while
trying to keep everyone happy."
Heh, you should have said yes.
If there was still an Oprah,
she'd be all over that.
-Oh, I like Gale.
-Heh, me too.
No, by the way, thank you for letting
me use your card.
If you hadn't been here, I don't know
how I would have gotten this done...
-...which was Marshall's intention.
-Gotta love California's laws.
Oh, by the way does Patrick Roberts
have glaucoma or something?
-Like a little nervous twitch?
-Who knows?
But it was the last thing on the list:
Get Patrick his medicinal weed.
I wonder which one he'll want:
Blueberry Headband, Dragon of Shaolin
or Sushi Friday.
The Headband's pretty good.
From what I've heard from people telling
me that it's good.
Heh, no judgment,
I'm just curious why you need it.
It's not like cruising around on a yacht
is stressful.
Uh, I know. But doing nothing has
given me a lot of time to think.
And maybe the last couple years
are starting to take their toll.
I mean, between my family, Juliet,
heh, Raina, you.
I mean, sometimes I wish I could
just reinvent myself, you know?
You've come to the right place.
Everyone in Hollywood
reinvents themselves.
Look at me. I have gone from "it" girl
to working girl in just 3000 miles.
-I'm impressed. I'm impressed.
-Heh, heh.
Oh, if you're sick of being you,
be someone else for a while.
Yeah. And just where do you suppose
that I do that?
At the party we earned our way into
tonight.
What do you say?
[LAUGHS]
My, don't you look lovely.
Miss Blair go to U.N.
With Louis and the princess?
I thought it wasn't proper.
It isn't.
Miss Blair testing prince.
BLAIR: Louis told me he would
stand up to his mother tonight.
If he does, everything can continue
the way it's meant to.
If he doesn't, he and his mother will
have a wedding...
...without a bride.
Or she can just take my place,
which seems to be what she wants.
-Wish me luck.
-Darling.
Is the stress of the wedding
getting to you?
Testing a good man who loves you
never ends well.
Nothing is getting to me, Mother.
I am a Waldorf woman.
I need to know I still have a voice.
And that that voice is heard.
Now, I'm going to go wait for Louis
downstairs.
I swear, sometimes I don't know
where she gets it from.
[ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS]
DAN: Louis.
-Dan?
Hey, uh, listen, ugh,
I really need your help.
I wrote a story that this magazine is
publishing in their next issue...
...and I don't want them to.
I have no idea how to stop it, but
if you put your royal weight behind it...
...it could be dead in an hour.
I'm sorry, I have an event I'm late for.
Blair is--
Blair is the one the story's about.
I swear to you, if this story ever sees
the light of day...
...you are not gonna be happy.
ALLY:
You ready to go?
Your tech said
you were bringing your friend.
Oh, Marilu got a ride
with Patrick Roberts.
She goes wherever he goes anyway.
Why, they together?
No, she's his minder,
from the bond company.
He has to stay sober
or the film gets shut down.
Luckily you and I don't.
But you won't be needing that helmet,
I brought my truck.
Riding Mulholland can be pretty
dangerous, and that's where the party is.
I'll throw this inside.
GOSSIP GIRL: Sticks and stones
may just break bones...
...but the wounds
from words never heal.
Especially when they're words
we hoped we'd never read.
On second thought, I'm sure I could ride
carefully. Nothing's that dangerous.
[CHATTERING]
Hey.
-Here you go.
-You can't possibly have--
Finished? She did.
Everything?
Well, technically there's one thing left.
Have you seen Patrick?
Yeah. Outside by the pool.
SERENA: This is your chance.
-What are you talking about?
You're at a party across the country
from your real life.
No one knows your name.
Who do you want to be?
I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.
All right?
Oh, my God. Are you that guy?
That guy from that movie?
Uh....
Yes.
-Heh, I love that guy.
-Ha, ha.
Can we have your autograph?
Yeah.
-Do you live in L.A.?
-Yes.
-Is that your Maybach?
-Yeah.
-This is your house?
-Yes.
How about a tour?
Uh, yes. Absolutely.
Uh, this is a private tour.
My, my, if it isn't New York's finest.
Nice to see you out and about for once.
Thanks, Patrick. It's good to be out.
I, um, have something for you.
-What are you doing?
-Production sent me for it.
Well, that is awesome.
-Marilu said it was cool?
-Well, I guess, heh.
Have fun?
I will now.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
I can't even believe
I'm answering this call.
I am so sorry, Blair.
Something's come up,
taking longer than anticipated.
Now it looks like I won't make it
to the gala at all.
You're going with vague on this one?
"Something's come up"?
Why don't you admit you're in the U.N.
with your mother instead of lying?
I'm not. I wish I could tell you
where I am, but I made a promise.
We know how you honor the promises
you make, as long as they're not to me.
Tell your mother congratulations,
she won.
What are you talking about?
[SIGHS]
Call down to Jimmy
and tell him to get me a cab.
DOROTA:
Where are you going?
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]
DIANA: So you collect?
-Yes.
Helmut Newton, right?
Yes?
Is that Lauren Hutton?
Yes.
Or is it Lisa Taylor?
Yes. How did you know?
Hmm, I have a good eye.
And good taste.
Is this the master bedroom?
Let's destroy it.
How is the score going?
Well, we've almost finished
the key theme.
We've been listening
to that Leonard Cohen score...
...he did for McCabe & Mrs. Miller
for inspiration.
SERENA:
Wow, heh.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
I'm sorry, would you two excuse me
just for a minute?
Is everything okay?
Marshall just informed me
he found Patrick with some pot...
...which luckily he was able to confiscate
before disaster struck.
-Disaster?
-Marilu's from the insurance company.
The movie only keeps its
completion bond if Patrick stays sober.
If she found out he broke his sobriety,
she'd have to shut the movie down.
I can't imagine how he got it.
I'm gonna get Patrick, he'll tell.
He's scared out of his mind
at what he almost did. Excuse me.
[SERENA SIGHS]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Oh, thank God. I was--
Blair?
What are you doing here?
Did Louis, uh--?
Ugh, I didn't know where else to go.
I wasn't gonna come here.
I hadn't talked to you all summer.
You're the only person I know
in New York now, and I need a friend.
-If you're still--
-Of course I am.
What's going on?
I am about to call off my engagement.
I can't marry someone who doesn't stand
up for me, not even to his own mother.
And when I tell him it's over,
I'll need to get away.
To clear my head.
You were in the Hamptons?
Uh, Amagansett, CeCe's house.
Is it empty?
Take me there.
Okay. Uh, we can take my dad's car.
You'll call Louis from there.
I'll be there with you.
For whatever you need.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Often all it takes to find a new path...
...is to make a sharp turn...
...and see what you find.
ALLY:
You gotta take it easy up here.
People write songs about wiping out
on our L.A. roadways.
I'm not scared.
Well, you should be.
I'm not scared of anything.
GOSSIP GIRL:
But beware.
Sometimes what you're faced with
is a dead end.
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
I'm perfect.
Do you see any blood anywhere?
I could use a glass of Scotch, however.
Should we walk,
or should I drive you on yours?
Okay, I know I don't know you at all...
...and you probably could give a damn
about what I have to say.
Most people in my business
are thrill-seekers...
...or adrenaline junkies. But for some of
them, there's something darker going on.
-I think you need help.
-I said I'm fine.
Well, maybe, but this date is over.
Good luck, Chuck.
[SIGHS]
-Thank you.
-Unh.
My best friend was right.
Saying yes makes everything better.
Based on my own recent experience,
I'd have to agree.
Now it's time for you to leave.
Well, if that's how you want to be
about it, okay.
But it is my house, don't you think you
should be the one to go?
Actually, this is my house.
Just so you know, this isn't the master.
It's a guest room. The smallest one.
Nice to meet you, by the way, um....
-Nate.
-Hmm, that's a great name.
-Uh, and you are--?
-Done now.
How could you do this to me?
Think I didn't know
what you were up to?
Tell me that doing everything
on Jane's list wasn't just to show me up.
So you decide to add a few tasks
that could get me fired?
Not to mention shut down the movie?
I didn't think you could come through.
I thought you'd have to tell Jane
you couldn't.
I need this job more than you do, okay?
I pay for my life.
I have student loans, rent, a car lease.
-I can't afford to get fired.
-And I can?
MARSHALL:
You're Serena van der Woodsen.
You do one lap around this party,
you'll get 10 job offers.
You weren't even looking
when you found this one.
Will you look at this as anything more
than that thing you did that summer?
This is my career.
I haven't found him yet,
when I do--
Marilu, wait.
What's going on?
I'm the one that gave Patrick the pot.
He only took it
because I told him Production okayed it.
Someone played a joke on me
and if I wasn't so intent...
...on proving my worth,
I wouldn't have fallen for it.
But I did.
I'm sorry.
You can tell Jane
I'll clear out my desk in the morning.
I don't understand.
Are you following me?
-No.
-Blair.
Actually, it's fine if you are,
because I could do this in person then.
No, Louis is not here for you.
He's not?
[BLAIR STAMMERS]
What the hell is going on?
Louis didn't meet you tonight
because he was helping me.
Helping you what?
[DAN CHUCKLES]
Last spring, I wrote a story about you.
Due to a series of unfortunate events,
that story is going to be published.
Was going to be.
Was. Uh, I asked and Louis
kindly obliged to help me k*ll it...
...before it came out
so it wouldn't embarrass you.
And that's exactly what he did.
Uh, he really is your prince.
It wasn't standing up to his mother...
...but it was protecting you
against the world.
You gotta understand, I didn't ever think
anyone would read it.
You let me almost walk away
from everything tonight.
All the while knowing where Louis
was, exactly what he was doing for me.
How could you let that happen?
Why would you?
What possible reason could you have?
GOSSIP GIRL:
Lonely Boy learning three words...
...eight letters don't come out right...
...when no one wants to hear them.
Come on, Louis. Let's go.
I'm done here.
Hey. Are you happy?
We decided what we wanted,
went after it like you said...
...look what happened.
Yes, look, Serena, you accepted
responsibility without hesitation...
...for maybe the first time
in your life.
Nate, you had more fun not being you
than you've had actually being you...
...which means you now know
you need to change.
Is it just me, or is what he's saying
actually making sense?
-Maybe we're not awake yet.
CHUCK: We're growing up.
We need to start being responsible
for ourselves.
Instead of always being responsible
for others.
Oh, you knew?
Nate, I know you think
I must be dying inside...
...because Blair
is marrying another man.
But we let each other go.
So stop doing stuff like this,
and start focusing on yourself.
And you, even though this part of your
journey may have come to an end...
...it showed you there's a world out
there you never knew existed.
One you want to be a part of.
Have you ever thought
of writing a book?
People like me don't write books,
we're written about.
[LAUGHS]
Wow.
Okay, I should go clean out my desk.
Yeah, I should get out
of here too.
Pretty sure I left my phone
at the party.
I should probably
apologize to the hostess.
I'll stay here alone with my genius.
-Come here.
-Too close.
NATE: Don't be shy.
-Too close.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
What?
Oh, no, is it my hair?
I didn't want to say anything in front
of Louis, but I found something...
...hidden in the pantry.
Is this why you have been acting
so strange about Louis?
-Uh....
-Is there something you need to tell me?
Is me who needs to confess.
Baby number two on way.
This is what you needed to tell me
yesterday that would affect our future?
Yes. I just want to tell you first,
but you were away.
And it not right to text "Hello, pregnant."
Then you were back but did not let me
speak, so now news comes out this way.
At least news out.
And Gossip Girl talk about me,
I feel so special.
[ALL LAUGH]
Congratulations.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Well, well, Upper East Siders.
I got my answer after all.
It turns out the only thing expanding
at the Waldorf residence is the help.
Yet all this talk about expecting
has got me thinking about expectations.
DIANA: I had no idea
I was gonna meet him out here.
I didn't expect to make contact
till New York.
But something tells me I'm gonna see
him again even sooner than I imagined.
Oh, much sooner. Call you later.
-You must be here for this.
-Yes, thank you.
And listen, I know you don't really know
me at all...
...but I feel like I owe you an apology
for pretending to be someone else.
I only did it because I'm just now
starting to realize that....
Well, I don't really know who I am.
Anyway, I'm sorry.
-But I still had a lot of fun with you.
-As did I.
And I accept.
Who knows? Maybe we'll see each other
around sometime.
Yeah.
Goodbye.
Heh, bye.
[BELL RINGS]
You wanted to see me?
Yes. There's a whole lot of things
I need done on my list this morning.
Oh, I guess you didn't hear.
I heard. Marilu told me.
The Beautiful and the Damned wraps
in a week.
How would you like
to keep working for me?
You're the first one in every morning,
the last one to leave every night.
I need someone with your dedication
and fire.
Although you might want
to check with me...
...the next time one of my tasks
seems a little off the wall.
Yeah. Heh.
Well, what do you say?
I would love to.
-Hey, what's going on?
-Oh.
Lily has another meeting
with the decorator.
She's redecorated so many times
it looks exactly the same.
I keep telling Andy Cohen
he should make a show about her:
The Real House Arrests of New York.
Well, you can, uh, hang here with me,
help me with this mail.
Good, I have some time...
...before the 9/11 memorial
Oh, and by the way,
your story was amazing.
Thanks for letting me read it.
I'm just a little bit confused.
Uh, I expected something
negative about Blair.
In fact, it's quite the opposite.
Why was it important no one read it?
-Did you make it to the end?
-I assumed there was artistic license.
Did that actually happen?
Hmm, a writer never tells.
So now I just have to make sure
that the book that chapter comes from...
-...never sees the light of day.
-There's a whole book?
Don't get too excited.
I'm hoping, uh, Vanessa only leaked...
...the one chapter to the magazine
since that's all they had.
Oh, look, air mail from Barcelona.
GOSSIP GIRL:
The thing about expectations...
...is most of the time,
someone else sets them for you.
Yet you feel they've been there
all along...
...and you can't wait to live up to them.
-You ready to go?
-I'm not coming.
Guess why.
Jane offered me a job.
What did you say?
-I said yes.
-Really? That's great.
Oh, thank you. I mean, it wouldn't have
happened without you two.
How about now?
Your new L.A. lifestyle ready to make
an exception?
I think so.
Pop it open. Oh!
Hello!
Of course that happened. Jeez.
There's a bathroom
in the dressing room there.
I'll be right back.
Just-- Come on.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Just because you know...
...what's expected of you...
...doesn't mean you still can't
surprise everyone.
[SIGHS]
-Blair, you look beautiful.
-Of course she does.
Mother, Blair is not carrying those.
And there are some other things
I need to talk to you about too.
Do they know?
Know what?
How far along you are.
I'd say six weeks?
They sent me your measurements.
You obviously can't read
or they were wrong when you got them.
I'm not pregnant.
Lie to me all you want, but your body
will be telling the world the truth...
...by the time of your wedding.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Nothing stays hidden for long.
IVY:
Ooh!
The one month anniversary
of our move.
It's crazy.
If your uncle hadn't left
you that tiny bit of money...
...we never would have left Miami.
I hope you don't mind working
a crap job...
-...until we figure stuff out.
-I'm just glad to be away.
Ivy, stop talking
and start working.
You're late.
Don't get fired.
We need the cash.
[CHUCKLES]
Charlie?
GOSSIP GIRL: And you often
find what you least expect...
...is right in front of you--
-Oh, my gosh.
IVY: Serena.
GOSSIP GIRL:
--waiting to change everything forever.
-What are you doing here?
SERENA: What am I doing here?
What are you doing here?
Ivy? Ivy, your shift.
That was weird.
Um, let's get out of here.
-Yeah, let's go.
IVY: Okay.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Whether you want to or not.
-It's good to see you.
-Good to see you.
GOSSIP GIRL:
XOXO, Gossip Girl.
WOMAN:
Where has she been?
GOSSIP GIRL:
And who am I?
That's one secret I'll never tell.
You know you love me. XOXO...
...Gossip Girl.
[CHUCKLING]
Heh. What is it?
God, heh, you're such a swan
in this light.
DAVID:
Cut. Perfect. Print.
Okay, one thing I wanted to say.
That was great.
Loosen up, enjoy it.
You're in a white tie...
...doesn't mean you can't be dirty.
That's how these people were.
They were having a good time.
So don't make it stiff.
Enjoy it a bit.
Uh, The New York Times
wants a quote on your decision...
...to set the movie around
the crash of '29.
I told that guy I don't wanna do that
unless I first get the e-mail.
Hey, Serena, how are you?
Good. How are you, David?
Good to see you.
It's okay, I got it. You're busy.
Who would answer the phones
in the office?
I had the calls forwarded to my cell.
Collate the revisions
into the production teams' drafts.
Okay. Marshall, remember when
you said that I could observe...
...the filming one day before
the sh**t was over?
sh**t's not over till next week.
SERENA:
Thank you.
[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
Dad.
I thought you'd still be in London...
...helping Jenny at Saint Martins.
Uh, she kicked me out when
I didn't know who Sarah Burton was.
I thought I'd spend
some time with you.
Oh, happy to have you.
I popped by CeCe's, this was waiting.
Maybe it's important, it's from the city.
[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
-It's, uh, Blair's save the date.
RUFUS: You're not happy.
-You guys are still friends, right?
DAN: Yeah, friends.
-Wonder if she invited Chuck.
-If he's anywhere that FedEx can reach.
Hi. I don't believe we've met.
I'm Nate Archibald.
-And, uh, you are?
-Waiting for me.
[SCOFFS]
How was your nap?
Great. You were gone.
It's the only time I can sleep.
Why didn't you take someone with you
for a change?
-Anything for me?
-Nope.
Well, if you hear anything crazy,
it means I'm doing something right.
LOUIS:
How does it feel to be home?
BLAIR: Oh, it's going
to be tough re-acclimating.
After living in a palace,
how will a penthouse do?
But maybe we should skip
the wedding planning...
...and pull the blinds
and just spend the day in bed?
We did that all summer.
But we can't put off our parents
any longer.
Would a present help motivate
you downstairs?
[GASPS]
[CHUCKLES]
How did you know
just what I was missing? Oh!
Shall I wear it to the General Assembly
tomorrow?
You will not be allowed
inside until you are an official member...
...of the royal family.
Consider yourself lucky, heh. Albert's
speeches are stronger than Ambien.
I do consider myself lucky.
I'm living a fairy tale.
But no heroine gets her happy ending
without overcoming some obstacles.
And this wedding will be no exception.
ELEANOR: A civil service
and religious ceremony?
Who's ever heard of such a thing?
Our guests will be sitting longer
than a Terrence Malick movie.
I'm your rock. You can count on me.
[SIGHS]
SERENA:
How did you guys end up here?
And whose boat is this?
This is Allegra Versace's.
Chuck won it in a poker game
in Chiang Mai.
[CHUCKLES]
He won Allegra too, uh,
but that's another story.
Wow, so he's okay then?
Ask him yourself.
Serena.
SERENA:
Oh, hey.
Whoa, usually when you smile like this...
...you look like a creepy Cheshire Cat...
[CHUCKLES]
...but this one is real.
What is your secret?
And if it's legal, I want some.
It's not a substance, it's a state of mind.
A word.
Let me guess. A dirty word?
-Yes.
NATE: Heh.
"Yes," it's a dirty word?
The word is "yes." I say it at anything.
If an opportunity presents itself, I take it.
There's nothing I won't try once.
Even happiness.
Hmm, he's very inspiring.
He should run an infomercial, heh.
You mock, if someone gave me
the opportunity, I'd say--
"Yes." Yeah, I think I get it.
I don't think you do.
You've been working all summer...
...at your little assistant's job. Driving
a cart, getting coffee, sorting things.
Isn't there something more
you want out of it?
Actually, the producer, Jane,
who I really admire...
...asked me my thoughts on a scene.
And I was really excited
to write something up...
...but, Marshall, who's
my supervisor got wind of it, uh....
-Heh, he wasn't a huge fan of the idea.
-What, so you never did it?
Uh, no, I placated Marshall,
so now Jane probably thinks I'm a flake.
There's still time. Go say the "yes"
you never said.
[CHUCKLES]
You know what? You are actually right.
Even if you are completely delusional,
if it makes you look this good...
...I will find Jane tomorrow...
-Marshall be damned.
CHUCK: Hmm.
Who wants to go with me to make sure
I go through with it?
I know what you're gonna say.
-Daniel.
-Hey.
HARRIS: I was thinking about you
just yesterday, old boy.
Read an advance copy of a story
that Vanity Fair's running next issue.
Reminded me of your work,
only better.
[CHUCKLES]
-Who wrote it?
HARRIS: That's the thing, no one knows.
Totally anonymous,
and everyone's talking about it.
What's the story about?
Uh, it's a little Wharton and a lot Woolf.
The modern mores and misdoings...
...of upper-crust Manhattan.
I thought of you since the protagonist's
name was Dylan Hunter, of all things.
Initials being what they are.
Uh.... I'm sorry, Jeremiah, I gotta run.
-I see from your list of demands, Blair--
-Demands?
--that you would like to have peonies
in your bridal bouquet?
They're my favorite flower.
And they are very beautiful...
...but in our country,
a bride always walks with carnations.
Hmm. To the nearest florist
and demands a refund.
I'll be holding peonies.
Aren't I, Louis?
Louis?
With you looking so beautiful,
who will notice the flowers?
Vogue Paris would like to have a photo
of you in your wedding dress...
...for their November issue.
Obviously this is a very big deal--
Heh, as Vogue Paris is perhaps the
best thing to happen to the world ever.
SOPHIE:
I know this is very short notice...
...but not to worry because my dress is
already on the plane here.
Your dress?
Everybody's been married in this dress...
...from my great-grandmother on
down.
Louis, I've already lost on the food,
the flowers, and the font.
You know how important
choosing my dress is for me.
But this is a dress for a royal.
Hey.
You'll love Mama's dress, I promise.
I can't wait to see you in it.
How about some cold Prosecco,
to k*ll the pain?
GOSSIP GIRL:
This just in.
Due to a reader's dumpster dive outside
a well-known Fifth Avenue prewar...
...it appears someone we know and love
is in the family way.
So this is your humble Gossip Girl
issuing an APPB.
Who could the mother
of our next scandal be?
What's wrong, Dorota?
Nothing. Uh, nothing at all.
-Prosecco?
BLAIR: No, thank you.
I think I need all my wits
for the next round.
Oh, no, it's okay. I gave up drinking
at the beginning of summer.
You know, L.A. lifestyle.
-Come on, you guys enjoy.
CHUCK & NATE: Cheers.
GOSSIP GIRL: At least this secret
is bound to show itself soon.
BLAIR:
The first meeting was a disaster, S.
He conceded to Sophie on everything.
Ugh, it was so out of control...
...you would have thought
he was Italian.
Finding a balance between your mother
and your fiancée is tough.
He's trying to keep the peace
the best he can.
Stop being so rational
and trying to see both sides.
I haven't told you the worst part yet:
They want me to wear Sophie's dress.
Not just on the day
but in Vogue Paris too, ugh.
Hand-me-downs are for charity
and second children...
...not for the bride on her wedding day.
Louis knows how upset I am.
He said he'd talk to Sophie,
but, ugh, I don't know.
B, first of all, Vogue Paris,
that's amazing.
You're gonna look beautiful...
...in whatever you wear
which should be Sophie's gown.
That way she has a gorgeous photo
of you looking exactly how she wants...
...you have more leverage
to wear your own dress on the real day.
This is why I wish you were here.
Aren't you done there?
L.A. is a plastic-surgery layover,
not somewhere you live.
MAN [OVER RADIO]:
Your guests just came through the gate.
Thank you, I'll be right there.
B, I love you, and I miss you too.
All right. Tomorrow, same time?
Today we did me, so we can do you?
You're on my schedule.
Aw, listen to you, all professional.
Bye.
Miss Blair, have you seen
Gossip Girl lately?
-No.
-We need to discuss something.
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
Something affecting both our futures.
The only thing affecting our futures is
your inability to clear a table fast.
It appears that Louis has spoken
to Sophie.
[SPEAKING IN POLISH]
I need to look my best
for my first royal apology.
Here you go, thank you.
Mind telling Jane I need to talk
to her? I know they're on lunch.
I don't remember approving a visit
for your friends.
-You must be Marshall.
-Who are you?
NATE & SERENA [IN UNISON]:
He's Chuck Bass.
ALLY:
The stuntman's prepped.
Can you, uh, ask David to meet me
to talk to the double?
What's the stunt?
I could show you.
-You know what I have to say.
-Go, heh.
I have to find David. I'll tell Jane
you stopped by, get back to work.
The zip codes may be different,
but douchebags are the same.
-He's gone, go find Jane.
-Heh, what are you gonna do?
Hey, S. Is this my noon audition?
-Yes.
-Wait. Are you kidding me?
You're gonna be great.
Yeah, I'll totally hold.
Thanks, Epperly.
I don't get it.
Why would Vanessa steal your story?
To teach me a lesson.
Let's just, uh, hope I'm wrong.
Which I'm not.
Did Gabriela ever call you back?
Think Jenny's heard from Vanessa?
Why would she call Jenny?
Yeah, yeah, I'm here.
Okay, thank you.
Epperly's friend at Vanity Fair says...
...all he knows is Graydon Carter read
the story and decided to run it.
Oh, that's pretty cool, right?
Vanity Fair's gonna publish your writing?
If only they were because of my writing.
They think it's about a celebrity.
Really? Why?
Because it's about a celebrity. Kind of.
Uh, Blair Waldorf,
future Princess of Monaco.
I wrote it in the spring, after she and I....
What, heh?
Where are you going?
To find the one person who can help me
stop this before it's too late.
It's okay, I accept.
-Accept what?
-Your apology.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
You didn't talk to your mother.
It's just so hard to say no to her.
I worry she'll make things more difficult
later if she doesn't get her way now.
I am trying to ease her into our future.
The future is here.
We're going to be married
in three months.
I need to know we're in this together
and I'm not just standing here alone.
You're not. I'm right here.
Those are just words. I need proof.
[SIGHS]
You're right.
The dress discussion can wait
until tomorrow...
...but tonight I show my mother
that you come first.
Be ready at 6.
Ready for what?
You will be on my arm at the gala.
-I thought there was a rule.
-It's about to be broken.
What do you say?
This isn't right.
-These two walls need to be wide.
MAN: Oh.
Serena, are you looking for Marshall?
No, you, actually.
I hope it's to tell me why you didn't
follow up after our first meeting.
-I didn't scare you away, did I?
-No.
-I didn't wanna step on Marshall's toes.
JANE: Why?
Keeping him on them
is what David hired you to do.
If it weren't for you, he wouldn't
have read the book.
It was his comparison
of the book to the script...
...that's kept all the departments
focused.
I did that the first week.
If I would have known
he was doing it too, I--
I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble--
No one's in trouble.
A little reminder that things don't go
unnoticed never hurts.
What would you say
to a little more responsibility?
See how you do with it.
I'd say, "Yes." Heh.
Jane just called.
Gave me the rest of the day off.
Said I was taking too long to finish her
task list, that I should leave it to you.
Looks like things do come easy to
Serena van der Woodsen, like I heard.
But if you think you can do my job
better than I can, here's the test.
[SCOFFS]
"Pull tomorrow's sides, update phone
sheet, take dogs to groomer...
...write coverage of Eugenides."
This isn't so bad.
-How long did she give you?
-Till tomorrow.
Well, I'll have it done by the party later.
I hope I don't see you there.
Oh, you will.
Wait, have you seen my friends?
MAN:
Hey, get down from there.
[CROWD CLAMORING]
DAVID:
Who's that? Were we rolling?
ALLY:
Guys, guys. Heh.
You're about to be in a lot of trouble,
but I get the feeling you don't care.
You free tonight?
I am now.
Oh, I forgot to ask you.
How was the audition?
After I told them I wasn't an actor,
they said "Too bad...
...because you'd be perfect as a kid
from an East-Coast political family...
...who's constantly manipulated while
trying to keep everyone happy."
Heh, you should have said yes.
If there was still an Oprah,
she'd be all over that.
-Oh, I like Gale.
-Heh, me too.
No, by the way, thank you for letting
me use your card.
If you hadn't been here, I don't know
how I would have gotten this done...
-...which was Marshall's intention.
-Gotta love California's laws.
Oh, by the way does Patrick Roberts
have glaucoma or something?
-Like a little nervous twitch?
-Who knows?
But it was the last thing on the list:
Get Patrick his medicinal weed.
I wonder which one he'll want:
Blueberry Headband, Dragon of Shaolin
or Sushi Friday.
The Headband's pretty good.
From what I've heard from people telling
me that it's good.
Heh, no judgment,
I'm just curious why you need it.
It's not like cruising around on a yacht
is stressful.
Uh, I know. But doing nothing has
given me a lot of time to think.
And maybe the last couple years
are starting to take their toll.
I mean, between my family, Juliet,
heh, Raina, you.
I mean, sometimes I wish I could
just reinvent myself, you know?
You've come to the right place.
Everyone in Hollywood
reinvents themselves.
Look at me. I have gone from "it" girl
to working girl in just 3000 miles.
-I'm impressed. I'm impressed.
-Heh, heh.
Oh, if you're sick of being you,
be someone else for a while.
Yeah. And just where do you suppose
that I do that?
At the party we earned our way into
tonight.
What do you say?
[LAUGHS]
My, don't you look lovely.
Miss Blair go to U.N.
With Louis and the princess?
I thought it wasn't proper.
It isn't.
Miss Blair testing prince.
BLAIR: Louis told me he would
stand up to his mother tonight.
If he does, everything can continue
the way it's meant to.
If he doesn't, he and his mother will
have a wedding...
...without a bride.
Or she can just take my place,
which seems to be what she wants.
-Wish me luck.
-Darling.
Is the stress of the wedding
getting to you?
Testing a good man who loves you
never ends well.
Nothing is getting to me, Mother.
I am a Waldorf woman.
I need to know I still have a voice.
And that that voice is heard.
Now, I'm going to go wait for Louis
downstairs.
I swear, sometimes I don't know
where she gets it from.
[ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS]
DAN: Louis.
-Dan?
Hey, uh, listen, ugh,
I really need your help.
I wrote a story that this magazine is
publishing in their next issue...
...and I don't want them to.
I have no idea how to stop it, but
if you put your royal weight behind it...
...it could be dead in an hour.
I'm sorry, I have an event I'm late for.
Blair is--
Blair is the one the story's about.
I swear to you, if this story ever sees
the light of day...
...you are not gonna be happy.
ALLY:
You ready to go?
Your tech said
you were bringing your friend.
Oh, Marilu got a ride
with Patrick Roberts.
She goes wherever he goes anyway.
Why, they together?
No, she's his minder,
from the bond company.
He has to stay sober
or the film gets shut down.
Luckily you and I don't.
But you won't be needing that helmet,
I brought my truck.
Riding Mulholland can be pretty
dangerous, and that's where the party is.
I'll throw this inside.
GOSSIP GIRL: Sticks and stones
may just break bones...
...but the wounds
from words never heal.
Especially when they're words
we hoped we'd never read.
On second thought, I'm sure I could ride
carefully. Nothing's that dangerous.
[CHATTERING]
Hey.
-Here you go.
-You can't possibly have--
Finished? She did.
Everything?
Well, technically there's one thing left.
Have you seen Patrick?
Yeah. Outside by the pool.
SERENA: This is your chance.
-What are you talking about?
You're at a party across the country
from your real life.
No one knows your name.
Who do you want to be?
I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.
All right?
Oh, my God. Are you that guy?
That guy from that movie?
Uh....
Yes.
-Heh, I love that guy.
-Ha, ha.
Can we have your autograph?
Yeah.
-Do you live in L.A.?
-Yes.
-Is that your Maybach?
-Yeah.
-This is your house?
-Yes.
How about a tour?
Uh, yes. Absolutely.
Uh, this is a private tour.
My, my, if it isn't New York's finest.
Nice to see you out and about for once.
Thanks, Patrick. It's good to be out.
I, um, have something for you.
-What are you doing?
-Production sent me for it.
Well, that is awesome.
-Marilu said it was cool?
-Well, I guess, heh.
Have fun?
I will now.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
I can't even believe
I'm answering this call.
I am so sorry, Blair.
Something's come up,
taking longer than anticipated.
Now it looks like I won't make it
to the gala at all.
You're going with vague on this one?
"Something's come up"?
Why don't you admit you're in the U.N.
with your mother instead of lying?
I'm not. I wish I could tell you
where I am, but I made a promise.
We know how you honor the promises
you make, as long as they're not to me.
Tell your mother congratulations,
she won.
What are you talking about?
[SIGHS]
Call down to Jimmy
and tell him to get me a cab.
DOROTA:
Where are you going?
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]
DIANA: So you collect?
-Yes.
Helmut Newton, right?
Yes?
Is that Lauren Hutton?
Yes.
Or is it Lisa Taylor?
Yes. How did you know?
Hmm, I have a good eye.
And good taste.
Is this the master bedroom?
Let's destroy it.
How is the score going?
Well, we've almost finished
the key theme.
We've been listening
to that Leonard Cohen score...
...he did for McCabe & Mrs. Miller
for inspiration.
SERENA:
Wow, heh.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
I'm sorry, would you two excuse me
just for a minute?
Is everything okay?
Marshall just informed me
he found Patrick with some pot...
...which luckily he was able to confiscate
before disaster struck.
-Disaster?
-Marilu's from the insurance company.
The movie only keeps its
completion bond if Patrick stays sober.
If she found out he broke his sobriety,
she'd have to shut the movie down.
I can't imagine how he got it.
I'm gonna get Patrick, he'll tell.
He's scared out of his mind
at what he almost did. Excuse me.
[SERENA SIGHS]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Oh, thank God. I was--
Blair?
What are you doing here?
Did Louis, uh--?
Ugh, I didn't know where else to go.
I wasn't gonna come here.
I hadn't talked to you all summer.
You're the only person I know
in New York now, and I need a friend.
-If you're still--
-Of course I am.
What's going on?
I am about to call off my engagement.
I can't marry someone who doesn't stand
up for me, not even to his own mother.
And when I tell him it's over,
I'll need to get away.
To clear my head.
You were in the Hamptons?
Uh, Amagansett, CeCe's house.
Is it empty?
Take me there.
Okay. Uh, we can take my dad's car.
You'll call Louis from there.
I'll be there with you.
For whatever you need.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Often all it takes to find a new path...
...is to make a sharp turn...
...and see what you find.
ALLY:
You gotta take it easy up here.
People write songs about wiping out
on our L.A. roadways.
I'm not scared.
Well, you should be.
I'm not scared of anything.
GOSSIP GIRL:
But beware.
Sometimes what you're faced with
is a dead end.
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
I'm perfect.
Do you see any blood anywhere?
I could use a glass of Scotch, however.
Should we walk,
or should I drive you on yours?
Okay, I know I don't know you at all...
...and you probably could give a damn
about what I have to say.
Most people in my business
are thrill-seekers...
...or adrenaline junkies. But for some of
them, there's something darker going on.
-I think you need help.
-I said I'm fine.
Well, maybe, but this date is over.
Good luck, Chuck.
[SIGHS]
-Thank you.
-Unh.
My best friend was right.
Saying yes makes everything better.
Based on my own recent experience,
I'd have to agree.
Now it's time for you to leave.
Well, if that's how you want to be
about it, okay.
But it is my house, don't you think you
should be the one to go?
Actually, this is my house.
Just so you know, this isn't the master.
It's a guest room. The smallest one.
Nice to meet you, by the way, um....
-Nate.
-Hmm, that's a great name.
-Uh, and you are--?
-Done now.
How could you do this to me?
Think I didn't know
what you were up to?
Tell me that doing everything
on Jane's list wasn't just to show me up.
So you decide to add a few tasks
that could get me fired?
Not to mention shut down the movie?
I didn't think you could come through.
I thought you'd have to tell Jane
you couldn't.
I need this job more than you do, okay?
I pay for my life.
I have student loans, rent, a car lease.
-I can't afford to get fired.
-And I can?
MARSHALL:
You're Serena van der Woodsen.
You do one lap around this party,
you'll get 10 job offers.
You weren't even looking
when you found this one.
Will you look at this as anything more
than that thing you did that summer?
This is my career.
I haven't found him yet,
when I do--
Marilu, wait.
What's going on?
I'm the one that gave Patrick the pot.
He only took it
because I told him Production okayed it.
Someone played a joke on me
and if I wasn't so intent...
...on proving my worth,
I wouldn't have fallen for it.
But I did.
I'm sorry.
You can tell Jane
I'll clear out my desk in the morning.
I don't understand.
Are you following me?
-No.
-Blair.
Actually, it's fine if you are,
because I could do this in person then.
No, Louis is not here for you.
He's not?
[BLAIR STAMMERS]
What the hell is going on?
Louis didn't meet you tonight
because he was helping me.
Helping you what?
[DAN CHUCKLES]
Last spring, I wrote a story about you.
Due to a series of unfortunate events,
that story is going to be published.
Was going to be.
Was. Uh, I asked and Louis
kindly obliged to help me k*ll it...
...before it came out
so it wouldn't embarrass you.
And that's exactly what he did.
Uh, he really is your prince.
It wasn't standing up to his mother...
...but it was protecting you
against the world.
You gotta understand, I didn't ever think
anyone would read it.
You let me almost walk away
from everything tonight.
All the while knowing where Louis
was, exactly what he was doing for me.
How could you let that happen?
Why would you?
What possible reason could you have?
GOSSIP GIRL:
Lonely Boy learning three words...
...eight letters don't come out right...
...when no one wants to hear them.
Come on, Louis. Let's go.
I'm done here.
Hey. Are you happy?
We decided what we wanted,
went after it like you said...
...look what happened.
Yes, look, Serena, you accepted
responsibility without hesitation...
...for maybe the first time
in your life.
Nate, you had more fun not being you
than you've had actually being you...
...which means you now know
you need to change.
Is it just me, or is what he's saying
actually making sense?
-Maybe we're not awake yet.
CHUCK: We're growing up.
We need to start being responsible
for ourselves.
Instead of always being responsible
for others.
Oh, you knew?
Nate, I know you think
I must be dying inside...
...because Blair
is marrying another man.
But we let each other go.
So stop doing stuff like this,
and start focusing on yourself.
And you, even though this part of your
journey may have come to an end...
...it showed you there's a world out
there you never knew existed.
One you want to be a part of.
Have you ever thought
of writing a book?
People like me don't write books,
we're written about.
[LAUGHS]
Wow.
Okay, I should go clean out my desk.
Yeah, I should get out
of here too.
Pretty sure I left my phone
at the party.
I should probably
apologize to the hostess.
I'll stay here alone with my genius.
-Come here.
-Too close.
NATE: Don't be shy.
-Too close.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
What?
Oh, no, is it my hair?
I didn't want to say anything in front
of Louis, but I found something...
...hidden in the pantry.
Is this why you have been acting
so strange about Louis?
-Uh....
-Is there something you need to tell me?
Is me who needs to confess.
Baby number two on way.
This is what you needed to tell me
yesterday that would affect our future?
Yes. I just want to tell you first,
but you were away.
And it not right to text "Hello, pregnant."
Then you were back but did not let me
speak, so now news comes out this way.
At least news out.
And Gossip Girl talk about me,
I feel so special.
[ALL LAUGH]
Congratulations.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Well, well, Upper East Siders.
I got my answer after all.
It turns out the only thing expanding
at the Waldorf residence is the help.
Yet all this talk about expecting
has got me thinking about expectations.
DIANA: I had no idea
I was gonna meet him out here.
I didn't expect to make contact
till New York.
But something tells me I'm gonna see
him again even sooner than I imagined.
Oh, much sooner. Call you later.
-You must be here for this.
-Yes, thank you.
And listen, I know you don't really know
me at all...
...but I feel like I owe you an apology
for pretending to be someone else.
I only did it because I'm just now
starting to realize that....
Well, I don't really know who I am.
Anyway, I'm sorry.
-But I still had a lot of fun with you.
-As did I.
And I accept.
Who knows? Maybe we'll see each other
around sometime.
Yeah.
Goodbye.
Heh, bye.
[BELL RINGS]
You wanted to see me?
Yes. There's a whole lot of things
I need done on my list this morning.
Oh, I guess you didn't hear.
I heard. Marilu told me.
The Beautiful and the Damned wraps
in a week.
How would you like
to keep working for me?
You're the first one in every morning,
the last one to leave every night.
I need someone with your dedication
and fire.
Although you might want
to check with me...
...the next time one of my tasks
seems a little off the wall.
Yeah. Heh.
Well, what do you say?
I would love to.
-Hey, what's going on?
-Oh.
Lily has another meeting
with the decorator.
She's redecorated so many times
it looks exactly the same.
I keep telling Andy Cohen
he should make a show about her:
The Real House Arrests of New York.
Well, you can, uh, hang here with me,
help me with this mail.
Good, I have some time...
...before the 9/11 memorial
Oh, and by the way,
your story was amazing.
Thanks for letting me read it.
I'm just a little bit confused.
Uh, I expected something
negative about Blair.
In fact, it's quite the opposite.
Why was it important no one read it?
-Did you make it to the end?
-I assumed there was artistic license.
Did that actually happen?
Hmm, a writer never tells.
So now I just have to make sure
that the book that chapter comes from...
-...never sees the light of day.
-There's a whole book?
Don't get too excited.
I'm hoping, uh, Vanessa only leaked...
...the one chapter to the magazine
since that's all they had.
Oh, look, air mail from Barcelona.
GOSSIP GIRL:
The thing about expectations...
...is most of the time,
someone else sets them for you.
Yet you feel they've been there
all along...
...and you can't wait to live up to them.
-You ready to go?
-I'm not coming.
Guess why.
Jane offered me a job.
What did you say?
-I said yes.
-Really? That's great.
Oh, thank you. I mean, it wouldn't have
happened without you two.
How about now?
Your new L.A. lifestyle ready to make
an exception?
I think so.
Pop it open. Oh!
Hello!
Of course that happened. Jeez.
There's a bathroom
in the dressing room there.
I'll be right back.
Just-- Come on.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Just because you know...
...what's expected of you...
...doesn't mean you still can't
surprise everyone.
[SIGHS]
-Blair, you look beautiful.
-Of course she does.
Mother, Blair is not carrying those.
And there are some other things
I need to talk to you about too.
Do they know?
Know what?
How far along you are.
I'd say six weeks?
They sent me your measurements.
You obviously can't read
or they were wrong when you got them.
I'm not pregnant.
Lie to me all you want, but your body
will be telling the world the truth...
...by the time of your wedding.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Nothing stays hidden for long.
IVY:
Ooh!
The one month anniversary
of our move.
It's crazy.
If your uncle hadn't left
you that tiny bit of money...
...we never would have left Miami.
I hope you don't mind working
a crap job...
-...until we figure stuff out.
-I'm just glad to be away.
Ivy, stop talking
and start working.
You're late.
Don't get fired.
We need the cash.
[CHUCKLES]
Charlie?
GOSSIP GIRL: And you often
find what you least expect...
...is right in front of you--
-Oh, my gosh.
IVY: Serena.
GOSSIP GIRL:
--waiting to change everything forever.
-What are you doing here?
SERENA: What am I doing here?
What are you doing here?
Ivy? Ivy, your shift.
That was weird.
Um, let's get out of here.
-Yeah, let's go.
IVY: Okay.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Whether you want to or not.
-It's good to see you.
-Good to see you.
GOSSIP GIRL:
XOXO, Gossip Girl.