- Hello and welcome back
to Dimension 20 LIVE
presents Fantasy High: Sophomore Year.
I'm your humble dungeon
master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me as always are our Intrepid Heroes!
Say hi, Intrepid Heroes!
- Hi, Intrepid Heroes!
- Oh gosh, it's
so lovely to have you back.
This is Dropout's weekly game of D&D.
We're here continuing the
story of the Bad Kids,
a group of adventurers
from the Aguefort Adventuring Academy
in the town of Elmville.
Kind of modern, 1980s-esque teen group
that goes out into the world of Spyre,
beyond the borders of
Solace, on wild adventures.
For their spring break and 60%
of their sophomore year grade-
- Oh no!
- The Bad Kids have been sent out
to retrieve the Crown
of the Nightmare King.
They find themselves outside the hotel-
sorry, inside a fancy
restaurant in Bastion City
called The Swan's Little Parade.
And as they are here in
The Swan's Little Parade,
they have just dealt with the recovery
of their captured friends, Riz and Fig,
who they got back from
the clutch of some demons.
You guys stole a guestbook, you guys
got your friends back.
- Oh yeah.
- You made out with the
Chief of Police, disguised.
- By the way, did I get a name?
- Can you give me a
quick Intelligence check
to see if you spotted his name?
- Anyone wanna give me a help action?
- Sure.
- Yes, yes!
Did you say Intelligence?
- Intelligence, yes.
- 15!
- Police Commissioner Runce Buggins.
- Wow.
- Oh, that's so hot.
- He sounds-
- Commissioner-
- Runce!
- Oh, that's so cool.
- Runce.
- Buggins.
- You always know how to pick 'em.
- You certainly do.
However, we're not there right now.
We're actually over at
The Swan's Little Parade.
And The Swan's Little Parade
is an extremely fancy,
well-to-do dining establishment.
The waitstaff dance out
with various foie gras
and lovely little caviars.
And we see that, here at the dining table,
Gilear is recovering from his-
I would say near-death experience,
but it's actually, it's
a full-death experience.
- And coming back to life.
- And coming back to life.
We also discovered that
Ragh Barkrock is terrified
and sees something in the photograph.
Tracker has offered to
do some kind of magic
to hopefully help him
and prevent whatever weird
situation would occur here.
And we also have just
received a text message-
Gorgug, on his phone-
- Oh!
- from Zelda Donovan, his girlfriend,
asking if he left Elmville
without saying goodbye.
- I'm in the doghouse.
- You know, Gorgug,
do you know what I think will
get you out of the doghouse?
- What?
- If we write her a really good song.
I don- like, I probably should-
- Don't talk to her until
you finish the song.
- Talk to...
- Yeah.
- Yeah,
don't text her back.
- I don't...
- Spend a lot of time on the
song and make it perfect.
- Yeah.
- Shouldn't I just-
- Turn off your
- No.
- Read receipts.
- Reach out?
- No.
- Read receipts
are off. No, no, no, no.
- What is he, a dealer?
- I think Gorgug, I like that idea,
is just going to call Zelda.
- Just at the table?
- Yeah.
- Good, this is the
way we should do things.
- I don't wanna ask everyone
to move. It's a booth, right?
- There's no booths here.
It's lovely little
banquet tables, there's...
- It's super loud here, Gorgug.
- Can everyone be quiet for a second?
- You see as you do that, the maître d'
just appears next to you
as the phone starts ringing
and says, "Um, monsieur, um,
if you can destroy your phone?"
- Destroy it?
- Can I cast Suggestion on him,
to allow this to happen?
- What does Fig say?
- If we get k*lled by the staff
of The Swan's Little Parade...
- If we have to fight here...
- Total party k*ll.
- How humiliating.
- I suggest, okay, so phones
are allowed now.
- He looks at you.
You have never felt a spell of yours
more powerfully rebuffed before.
He says, "Um, excuse me, please,
also do not cast a spell on me.
The phone, you cannot
make a call at the table-"
- Monsieur, I'm sorry.
These people are commoners.
Poor folk who've just
recently come into wealth.
They're not accustomed to our-
- I'm actually super loaded.
- Well you're super loaded now, all right?
But you haven't been super loaded
for as long as some of us have.
- If it is all right, we would
like to brush the gentlemen
just to make sure everything is all right.
- You brush him?
- Just brush him.
- Of course. They're
going to brush you.
- About five waiters come over with small,
white feather dusters-
- To me? Are they brushing me?
- And just kind of-
- Is this a rich thing?
- This is a thing, yes.
- This is normal.
- This is very much a rich thing.
- Am I, do I...
- Very much normal.
- I haven't heard
anything about looking dirty.
Do I look dirtier than everyone?
- Are they dusting you?
- You made a phone call
in the restaurant so we just
want to brush you to be sure.
- To make sure, for fingerprints?
- Exactly. (mimics
mini-brushing vigorously)
- For fingerprints?
- No, I mean, I did not
hear what you said. What?
- For fingerprints.
- No.
- Just step outside.
- Should I go outside?
Is it-? Okay.
- Do you have a phone area?
- Oui, we have a phone
area. It is downtown.
It is about a
five-minute drive.
- Different place?
- Just to make sure.
- Just go outside.
- Okay, I will leave.
- My parents always made a big deal
of stressing that we
were upper middle class
and I feel like that was
a lie for a long time.
We ate hotdogs with cheese in
'em when it was my birthday.
- Yeah, no, no,
you were working class,
and that's fine.
- That's pretty far.
- I've never seen a brush like that before
and now that's all I wanna buy.
- No-
- Can you brush yourself?
- You don't buy it. You
just have to inherit it.
- Yeah.
- That's...
- I'm so sorry, you mentioned
that you have never seen
one of these brushes before?
- No, but I-
- If it's all right,
we would like to just brush you
very quickly.
- Run! They're gonna brush you!
- What? No, I love it!
- Embrace the brush.
- I love it! This attention.
- Okay...
- This is one of the
best things about money.
- At this point, my curiosity
is piqued. Please brush me.
- You are asking to be brushed?
- Please brush my friend.
- I am afraid we are going
to need to hose you down.
- Oh my god!
- Nothing that has happened-
We don't do it in the restaurant.
You're going to have to
come in back of the kitchen-
- Oh my gosh, it's like in prison.
- You know what? After
everything that happened,
I do feel dirty. So
yeah, let's go do this.
- You see that Gilear looks and says,
I was a diplomat for the
Elven people for some time.
This is a level of wealth that-
- Is that true?
- What?
- Yeah, Gilear, I've
always wanted to know more
about your past.
- You were a diplomat?
- I mentioned it before.
Yes, I was, I worked...
Remember when I was applying
for the guidance counselor position
that ended up going to...
- Jaw-
- Jawbone?
- You were gonna
be a guidance counselor?
- I was trying
to get him hooked up
with a guidance counselor
- Those were the two jobs,
- job.
- yeah.
But then in a twist of fate,
possibly that shows you
how life knows better, you
became the lun-
- You were the lunch lad?
- And then the vice principal,
so that's good.
- Who did you think-
Kristen, where were you?
- Yeah.
- I thought you looked familiar!
That's why I was so glad
you were our intern.
- Ah.
- You just-
you thought you didn't know
him at all before this?
- Gilear, this does
not represent how any of us-
- I really thought- that's crazy.
You know, I wanna get
to know you more, man.
- We have spent an amount of time,
I mean, truly a tremendous
amount of time.
- Gilear, have you considered
that you might be faceblind?
- Riz takes a lap
around the building, just...
- Can I palm some money to
someone to brush down Gilear?
- What is everyone doing?
- I'm outside.
- You're outside.
Gorgug, you are outside by yourself.
As you go outside, you basically,
you know, the phone starts ringing.
As it does...
Rings once,
twice.
- No...
- Three times.
- I hope she picks up.
- Fourth time, click, hi.
- And then she picks up?
- This is Zelda Donovan.
- Hi, Zelda-
- Thanks so much
for giving me a call.
- Oh.
This is a message.
- All you have to do is
leave your name and number
and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Thanks so much. Beep.
- Uh, hey,
Zelda. It's me, Gorgug.
I, um, was just calling because
I freaking messed up,
and there's a lot going on.
Fig and Riz got kinda taken or something
and we had to leave town real fast.
But that's not really a good excuse.
But yeah, I'm gone. We're in, um...
We're out of town in- what's it called?
- Bastion City.
- Bastion City.
- We're in Bastion City.
Call me back when you can
or I'll try you later.
I'm really sorry. Bye.
Goodbye.
I hope you have a good
day, goodbye.
- Nailed it, dude.
- It's definitely nighttime.
- f*ck, good night!
- Does Gorgug immediately
come back in or no?
- What's
around here?
- Sort of an empty street.
You know, it's a fancy little restaurant,
so it's a very upscale
kind of neighborhood.
There's a few little restaurants around.
But, you know, there's
also some sort of fancy
sort of townhouses and things
like that in Bastion City.
- Maybe Gorgug just goes
a little bit on a walk
just to clear his head and see if he...
It feels like he-
I think he thinks he
wants to call her again
but that seems crazy as well.
- Mm-hmm.
- So he's just walking.
- You go on a little
walk around the corner.
- It's too real.
I feel like I've been in this position.
- Are you crying?
- A little bit. Stop!
- Cool.
- I think if I see Gorgug walk away,
just 'cause people have
been captured recently,
I might sneak out and just
kinda watch him from a distance.
- I was going to say that I would like
to maybe leave a note
at the police station,
so I might have also been prowling about.
- Okay, you go take a look
at the police station.
- Oh, but I don't wanna...
I'm just saying, I might be sneaking out
while Gorgug is...
- While Gorgug is there.
Cool, each- go ahead and give
me a Stealth roll real quick.
- 19.
- Okay, I'm gonna need a
Perception from Riz and Fig.
- Yikes.
- Oh, I see. Okay.
- Is there a roll to order more foie gras?
- For you, Mister Seacaster,
there is no roll to order more foie gras.
- 10, I can't see him.
- Seven.
- Seven. I'm gonna roll back
here as well, real quick.
Okay. Gorgug, you head off on your own.
So you guys finish eating here.
As the meal's sort of wrapping up,
you see Sandra Lynn looks
around a little, while-
You leave to go to the police station?
- Actually, I'll probably
wait till we go to bed.
- Okay, cool.
So as you guys are hanging out here,
you know, right after Gorgug
kinda goes for a walk,
Sandra Lynn looks up and says,
"All right, well, we'll
have whatever Tracker's
going to do tonight, but what's
the plan after that, g*ng?"
- Jailbreak, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Well, not
necessarily a jailbreak.
We should talk to her.
- Yeah, she's-
- Why is it that we think
that she, specifically,
will have information?
- I think-
- We know that there's things
in Fallinel, and we
know that the Shadowcat
was an agent of Fallinel.
Why does that mean Aelwyn?
I don't see how Aelwyn
is in any way connected to any of this.
- I think your
family might be involved.
- Well, I would rather talk to my parents
than to Aelwyn.
- Do you know where they are?
- No.
- So...
- I feel like The Ball's
making a great point right here.
- Well, I'm saying no jailbreak.
I'm saying we speak to her.
- Why don't we
look in this hotel book
and see what's going on there?
- Great, give me, anyone
that wants to check that out,
give me an Investigation check.
- Can I have have Boggy
give me the Help action?
- Yes, absolutely.
- Does anyone wanna help me?
I have good Investigation.
- Yeah, yeah. I'll help you.
- Okay sweet, thank you.
- Ooh, hell yeah.
- I got an 18.
- I got a 25.
- 18, 25.
- Hey!
- I got a 27.
- Damn.
- Hell yeah.
- I thought I was gonna contribute.
- Anyway-
- I thought I would help.
- You held the book
really effectively while we-
- Thank you, everyone.
- Fabian with the contribute.
- Fabian, I'm gonna say that
the 18 has to do with the-
- Oh, hell yes!
- I'm gonna say that 18
has to do with the fact
that as you're going along-
you guys are moseying in the registry
that you guys have stolen
from the Hotel Cavalier.
You have to go months and
months and months back.
You see your father's signature.
- Oh.
- Hm.
- My papa stayed here.
- Not only do you see that.
As you guys go and look back,
Bill Seacaster's signature is here
in the hotel book several times.
- Wow.
- Huh.
- Look at that, my papa.
- It's not good, Fabian.
- What? I mean, is...
What do you mean? I mean, it's not bad.
- Where did he stay?
- It was sort of a den
of criminals and Mr. Seacaster...
Have we ever said, "Mr. Seacaster"?
- I don't think, that feels like-
- Or Captain Seacaster?
- That really felt new and weird.
- Weird.
- Professor Seacaster was a criminal.
- Yeah
- Mr. Seacaster was a criminal.
Is there any name in conjunction with?
Are we seeing it in
tandem with another name?
- Right, what-
- As you look for that,
that specific question,
literally that specific question,
there is a name that appears in the room
prior to his stay for
every one of his stays.
- Dang.
- And that name is Garthy O'Brien.
Garthy is spelled G-A-R-T-H-Y.
- That's for real.
- Garthy O'Brien.
- Can I Google Garthy O'Brien?
- Do I have any knowledge of
this person, familiar-wise?
- Roll a
Charisma. Like, roll a...
Yeah, roll flat Charisma with advantage.
- All right.
It's gonna be 15.
- Garthy O'Brien will
not probably be findable
on a Solesian search engine
because Garthy O'Brien is not Solesian.
You know that he lives
out on the wide open sea.
This is another pirate.
- Ah.
- Oh, but we're
in a seaport, right?
- You are.
- Cathilda, have
you met Garthy O'Brien?
Do you know tales?
- She looks and says,
hold on one second...
Oh, right, well, Miss Fig, Garthy O'Brien,
I know them quite well.
- It's Mrs.
- What's that?
- Them!
- Mrs. Fig.
- Them, yes, I know them quite well.
Garthy's, well, they're
a, how do I put this?
A pirate.
- Mm-hmm.
- And they run the Gold
Gardens, which are a series
of houses of fortune and pleasure
in Leviathan.
- Okay, I will go
to a casino over a jail.
- I don't think it's a casino.
I think it's a whorehouse.
Well, maybe it's both.
- I mean, anytime you have sex
with a, you know, it
could be a gamble, right?
- And you always
- lose the bet.
- You might lose your heart.
- How much
experience do you have-
- Riz takes another lap.
- Is this your Netflix special?
- What?
- What happened to you on tour?
- You can't say anything anymore!
- What happened to me was I
let some walls down, okay?
- No, you- all right.
- Leviathan, is that what you said?
- Oh yes, Leviathan.
- The Gold Gardens.
- It's like- me and Papa
used to go there sometimes.
It's this incredible pirate fortress.
It sails the seas,
and it's like a bunch of
ships that smashed together.
It's honestly the coolest
place in like, the whole world.
- Huh.
- And I could totally get us in
because, you know, my dad
is like, a bigshot there.
Or, was a bigshot before I k*lled him. Hm?
- Okay.
- It's honestly so cool, though.
And I would totally love to go.
- Like dinner theater?
- No, no, no, no, no.
It's like a, we're
talking a city-sized place
made up of ships that have all kind of-
like, broken wreckages of ships
that have all been kind
of put together and
they've kind of built a city
on top of this floating mass.
And it's kinda like a
pirate haven or like-
- It sounds like Spring Break.
I'm not here, but...
- It
sounds like Spring Break.
- Whoa, jinx.
- I don't know
what that is a reference to, but yes.
- It does.
- It sounds like the trash
island off the coast of Texas.
- Don't know any of
those specifics, but yes.
- What did we
find in this hotel book?
- In this hotel- well,
that's what you guys found,
is this clue about the fact...
- Oh. Okay, great.
- The months that you see there line up
for the several months at the
end of your freshman year.
- Ah, okay.
- When you guys were largely in jail,
and a little bit before that.
- Mm-hmm.
- This was during the time when you know
that Bill Seacaster was supplying
palimpsests to KVX Bank.
- Ah.
- Hmm.
- Interesting.
- Do you think maybe
this is how they got all
those rubies that are in that bag
that you have?
- Oh, maybe.
- It's interesting. Why would-
- Is this guy, Garthy
O'Brien, anywhere else
in the hotel book or only in
relation to Bill Seacaster?
- Only in the room that Bill
Seacaster was staying in
directly before he was-
- Okay, so Garthy would stay
after Bill Seacaster didn't-
- It's strange that they wouldn't
be able to meet with Bill Seacaster...
You know, it's strange that one of them
couldn't just check
in, they couldn't meet.
Why did-
- Well, they
might have overlapped.
- But why couldn't-
- Check out, check in
are usually different.
- You're leaving something
in the room and then he-
- Yeah, right, but why can't
Garthy O'Brien just talk
to Bill Seacaster?
- Because that would implicate them.
- Criminal activity.
- It's like a drop, The Ball.
- Yeah.
- You know, it's like, Garthy goes in,
- But they're both pirates.
- leaves a thing.
- Everyone knew they were both pirates.
- No, because Bill Seacaster-
once you become a citizen of Solace,
- Got it.
- they forgive all
of your former crimes.
- Right, right.
- So he was living pretending
that he was done and reformed.
- Right. Also, not to
accuse everyone's parents
of crimes today,
- Please.
- but Bill Seacaster is in Hell, right?
- Oh, big time.
- And we just fought a bunch of devils.
- Oh!
- "Demons," says Sandra Lynn.
- They were demons.
- Oh yeah.
Demons are
different from devils.
- Okay, they were demons not devils.
- Oh yeah, can I see-
- Got it, never mind.
- The ruby that you got?
- Yeah, I take it out
and this is my other dad.
- And this looks crazy, right?
- Yes. The ruby is almost jet black
with this roiling kind
of storm cloud within it.
You can see sort of
billowing of smoke with-
- Do we think it's cursed?
- I mean, eyeing it, you
would say almost definitely.
- 'Cause I have Remove Curse
that I could try to cast on this.
- Yeah, anything.
- Okay, yeah, I...
- Give me a Religion
check as you look at it.
- Okay, cool.
- You do that
with advantage right, already?
- Yeah, 'cause of my book.
- Uh...
- Okay, okay, that's pretty good.
Let's see. Oh yeah, 19!
- As you look at the curse on the thing
and you begin to cast the
beginnings of Remove Curse on it,
you see that there is a powerful
contingency effect in this.
- Oh, like...
- Meaning?
- If something's cast on it.
- There's like a
- Meaning that the
effect is not hard to get
rid of, but there's an
effect behind the effect
you can't get to while
the first effect is there,
and if anything happens
to the first effect,
the second effect triggers.
- It triggers the-
- And you think quite possibly destroys
or annihilates whatever is within the gem.
- Ah.
- Okay.
Hey, actually, that's too...
I can't actually remove that
curse. That's a powerful...
- Well, you could. You
couldn't do it without-
- Dying.
- Without, no, you'd be fine.
Gorthalax, something would happen to.
- Yeah, I can't.
- No?
- No.
- Is Gorthalax a devil or a demon?
- Sandra Lynn says, "A devil."
- Okay.
- Dang. Lawful?
All right, girl.
- Gilear says, "I'm going
to go to the bathroom."
- Wait, hang on, Gilear.
When were you in the...
Can you tell us about your
work in the diplomatic corps?
- Well, again, I was a counselor
so I was not a full
diplomat, you understand.
But I provided counsel
to the diplomatic corps
about the inner workings
of different cultures
and how best to respond, and
the customs and formalities
of other nations beyond Fallinel.
I possessed an insight
into the minds and hearts
of other people that
eludes high elves, at certain times.
- Yes, we can be a little cold.
- Yes, and there was something, I suppose,
to the empathy that I was able to wield
on behalf of other people.
Yeah, sort of a foggy
memory at this point.
You know, I helped. I
helped out, you know?
- Why did you stop?
- What do you mean?
- Hm?
- Why did you stop?
- He looks at the ruby in your hand
and he looks over at
Sandra Lynn and he's like,
I don't know, you know?
Sometimes you hit a
sort of inertia, right?
It's like, sometimes you just,
you know, the wagon's stopped
and the rest of the
road is kind of uphill.
And it's not that much
uphill but no one's pushin'.
Anyway, I'm-
- Can I cast Detect Thoughts
on Gilear?
- Sure, if you wanna cast
Detect Thoughts on Gilear,
go for it.
- Great.
- You cast Detect Thoughts on him.
He certainly fails.
- Great.
Yeah.
- Cool.
You see that his surface
thoughts brim over
with memories of himself, you know,
a little happier, a
little bit more confident,
looking a little bit younger.
And you see him tendering his resignation
in the diplomatic corps to move
and start a life with Sandra Lynn.
She had a promising career as a ranger.
He had met her while she was adventuring
as an Aguefort adventurer.
Sandra Lynn went to Aguefort.
Met her, fell in love, and
kind of gave up his life
to go be with her in Solace.
- That's sweet except it's
weird that he was a grown man
with a job who followed a
high schooler back to Solace.
- No sorry, she was not a high
school student when she came.
She was a full-
- Oh, okay, it was post-
- She went to Aguefort.
- Post Aguefort.
She wasn't like, on her junior
year abroad in Fallinel.
- No no, she was a
full-fledged adventurer.
This was back in her days-
- Okay, cool.
- When she was like, had her
nose pierced and was much...
You know, she was sort of like a punk,
and he was this, like, sort of young guy
working in the diplomatic corps.
And he fell for her and moved to Solace
and you see his- sort of
lost direction in his life.
D&D, how's it going, g*ng?
- Brutal.
- Do you think, Gilear,
that there's any reason that these demons
would want to hurt you?
Did you have any run-ins
with any demons before?
- I think Riz sort of
established last time
that they couldn't imagine
that I was behaving so
erratically in that combat
and wasn't casting a spell of some kind.
- Mm-hmm.
- So they went for me first.
- The Chosen One?
- He's absolutely not
- The Chosen One.
- I think they just
wanna k*ll people.
- You're The Chosen One?
- He's absolutely
not The Chosen One.
- All right, I am going
to go like I said I was.
He heads off. Dinner concludes.
You guys exit the restaurant.
Sandra Lynn, after a few
minutes, also leaves and says,
"I don't know where Gorgug is.
I'm gonna go check out
for him real quick."
- Yeah.
- She flies off.
The rest of you go to the van.
You see Tracker speaks up and says,
"Um, could we take the van maybe somewhere
a little bit more secluded,
if that makes sense?"
- Okay, babe.
- Cut it out.
Also, it would be helpful
if we go get some...
If we could get extra blankets and stuff.
- Okay, babe!
- I'm sorry, just, are you talking
about sleeping in the van?
- Oh my god!
- What's wrong with sleeping in a van?
- I've always wanted
to sleep in a van, this is
actually very exciting to me.
- Oh, all right, okay.
- Let's do it.
- Yeah, I'm in a band. I
sleep in a van all the time.
- Hey, I hear you. This is
gonna be nice, hopefully.
- Mm-hmm.
- How's Ragh doing?
- Ragh looks messed up.
He's being very quiet but sort of sullen.
Gorgug, you're several
blocks away and you hear a
of this
griffon landing behind you.
Oh, an enormous griffon.
You see that as you hold up your arm,
Baxter starts to go for your arm
and Sandra Lynn goes,
"No, no, no, no, no!"
And pulls it up.
She says, "Don't do
that! He'll try to do it.
His depth perception on entry
is not as good as it could be."
- I just always thought it'd be cool
to catch a falcon on your arm.
- He is the size of- like,
bigger than a Clydesdale.
He's an enormous, enormous beast.
- I thought maybe he could flap
while he was hanging on my arm.
- Gorgug, what's up, bud?
You kinda peaced out in
the middle of dinner there.
Is everything okay?
- Everything's fine.
I just, I kinda screwed up
things with Zelda a little bit.
I forgot to tell her we were leaving,
with all the crazy stuff happening.
And I feel...
I'm
a little sad about that.
- I'm sorry, bud. That's really hard.
Well, you're a sweet, sweet boy,
and I'm sure, even if her
feelings are a little bit hurt,
that, you know, she'll...
I'm sure you guys can work it out, okay?
- Okay. I appreciate that.
- Yeah.
- I was just kinda wandering around.
I was fully lost. Thanks
for finding...
- I'm glad I could find you.
Well, let's head back together.
You guys swing back
and Tracker picks up
some blankets somewhere.
You guys stop by a
little convenience store.
You head out in the van.
Was there any business that
people wanted to do before?
You needed to go to the
police station, right?
- I just wanted to leave a note.
- Cool.
I'm gonna roll a Luck check
in front of the board.
You guys want a high number.
It's an 11, cool.
It's cool. You walk
into the police station?
- Uh, I think I just leave a note.
I think I pretend to be
a citizen,
but I disguise myself as
just a really nice woman.
- The same woman or a different-
- A very old woman.
- A very old woman, cool.
- So when you said, "Just
a very nice woman..."
- You're gonna end his career!
- You meant a very old woman?
- I'm just gonna say, "I found
this on the front porch."
- Front porch of
the police station?
- The porch of a police department?
- And then give them a little note.
And the note is just "To
Commissioner Buggins."
- Mm-hmm.
- And it just says,
"Sorry I boarded away so abruptly.
Here's my new number."
And then I give him my-
- Wow.
- Oh man!
- You see that-
- Wow.
- The attendant looks at it and says,
"Uh, you found this note on
your porch or our porch?"
- Yours.
- Ours?
- Yours.
Anyways...
- Detective Decker left a written note
changing her phone number
on the steps of the police precinct?
- Well, if her number's changed-
- This sounds like drama
- I can't get into.
I've gotta walk my dog.
- No no, we're in this now.
Hang on a second, I'm interested.
- Uh-huh.
- Hold on, okay.
So her number's different,
but she only wanted to
tell the Commissioner.
It seems-
- Are we watching this?
- No, we're not there.
- Nope.
Fig has just gone off
on her own to do this.
He says-
- Yeah, it does seem strange.
Yeah, maybe whoever did it
probably was having a hard day.
Anyways, my dog is tied up outside.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Well, if you- all right.
Did you see anyone leave
this at your house?
- No, it was at your house.
And also I'm not gonna-
- They left this at my house?
- Your police house.
- The police house?
- Yes.
- You mean the precinct?
- Yes.
- Okay.
- Oh god.
- I'm a very old woman-
- I got it. Well, we should
take your information down.
What's your name and address?
- Hilda.
- Hilda, great. Got a last name, Hilda?
- Hilda.
- Hilda Hilda?
- Oh man.
- Great, what's your address Ms. Hilda?
- 22 Hilda?
Okay, is that Boulevard or Street?
We got two in Bastion City.
- It's both.
- You have two houses.
Your name's Hilda Hilda,
and you live at 22 Hilda
Street and 22 Hilda Boulevard?
Which address was the note left on?
- Oh no.
- Yours, the police house.
- Okay, the police house, I forgot.
Thank you so much. Great.
Well, Ms. Hilda, we'll be in touch
if anything else comes up, okay?
- I use Prestidigitation
to make a loud dog barking sound outside.
- Oh, sounds like your dog's-
Fittin' to get moving. Well-
- One loud bark.
- Yeah.
- Thank you so much for passing by
in the middle of the night.
That dog goes on a long walk.
We're pretty far from 22 Hilda Street,
and we're across town
from 22 Hilda Boulevard.
So that's pretty wild!
- He's the size of a Clydesdale.
- Oh, that's a big dog, for sure.
- Very big.
- Well, this all checks out.
I'm gonna update Detective
Decker's information right now
in our police database.
Thank you so much. I appreciate it.
- Okay. I think that was a personal note
that's only for one person to read.
- Oh, she left a personal
note for one person
on the steps of the police precinct?
Well, you know what?
That sounds like Detective Decker to me.
Well, this all checks out,
and thank you so much
for being so helpful.
- Okay, I'm gonna leave
and then come back in
as Detective-
- What?
- No!
- Wait!
- This is crazy!
- Wait, where are we? We're nowhere near-
- You guys-
- In the van?
- Are we in the van waiting for her?
- I'm gonna quick turn
into Detective Decker.
- Okay.
- And then run by the window.
- Just run by the window?
Okay, hold on. Hold on, hold on.
- How is this helpful?
- What, what?
- Okay, you see that the older,
sort of receptionist police officer
sees you run by and
goes, "Detective Decker!"
And vaults over the desk and begins
to sprint down the street after you.
Detective Decker!
- I keep running.
- Detective Decker, wait!
Wait, Detective Decker!
- I get on my skateboard!
- Hold on one second.
- What?
- Oh my god.
- Okay.
- Cool, you get on your skateboard.
- I botched this.
I'm gonna have to cross out Runce Buggins
as one of my love interests.
- I botched this!
- Oh.
- Well, miraculous, incredible.
- Back to Dr. Asha for me.
- I just never know
what angle you're coming from.
- Yeah, yeah, totally.
- Running past?
- I run by the window.
- I thought it would be like,
oh, okay, I guess it was.
- Just establishes
that she's in town or something?
- Oh, and she's dropping notes.
- Yes!
- There it is.
I get it! I see the vision.
- You're gonna
get this woman fired
from the police department.
- Oh my god!
- You're ruining lives.
- Look, I crossed out Runce Buggins, okay?
- You know, you could have gone in
- He's no longer
- as her and said,
- a love interest.
"Can you make sure..."
- I don't know how crossing
it out is any better.
- Cool, you head out.
- I crossed it out, okay?
- You're on the way back to the
van where everybody else is.
As you're on your way,
you get a little blip
on your cellphone saying,
"Decker, this is Runce.
Is this your new number?
You're texting me on your old number
saying it's not your new number
but the front desk just said
you dropped this note off.
Is this some kinda prank?"
- I throw my phone into the river.
- What?
- No!
- You throw your phone in the river.
As you throw your phone in the river,
about a minute later you
begin to hear police choppers.
- Oh no!
- And you see spotlights
on the river where your phone is located.
You look back in the distance
and you see cruisers pull up.
And you see that Chief Buggins comes out,
looks, and sees someone say,
"Phone's at the bottom of the river."
And you see him drop to his knees and go,
"No!"
- He did love me.
- Oh my god.
- I skateboard away.
Skateboard away.
- A horrifying short film.
- What's up, Fig? We bought blankets.
- Cool. I think I'm actually
gonna go to bed right now.
I take Gorthalax and I
cuddle in the fetal position
and go to sleep.
- I think- well, I just think on that,
this is such a scary curse
- I know.
- on this gem.
I do think we should, and myself included,
always saying I'm Teddy Geiger,
keep our lies to a minimum.
- Yeah.
- Oh, I completely forgot, but
my whole thing is lies.
- Right? 'Cause you were saying
that they're being used
against us.
- Yeah,
I don't know if it was
just one attack on me
to be creepy or if...
- Yeah, we should...
- Baron was actually-
- 'Cause I am wondering-
We definitely can't have a character
named Teddy Geiger come after
me, 'cause we'll get sued.
- Yeah.
- But, you know...
- We'll get sued?
- What? Nothing, never mind.
- Is that a real thing?
- Yeah, that's a real person.
- Oh, fun.
- But as someone who operates
in shadows and deceit, I can't
exactly turn my back on lies.
- Interesting...
- I feel like it's more
like a choosing more carefully
when we lie and how we lie.
Just maybe not being so casual about-
- Like I should have actually
- Maybe making up people
- been Decker.
- is a problem.
- Like, whatever-
- I'm sure my-
- Maybe shenanigans you got up
while we were-
- I'm sure my daughter
wouldn't have come up
with a lie frivolously
for next to no reason.
Fig, what aim of the
quest were you advancing
with your deception?
- I don't know, Gilear.
What aim were you advancing?
- Hm?
- Honestly, good point.
- I have only ever tried my best to help
and failed incredibly, so
I am not going to sit here
and defend myself.
That's the last thing-
- I'm wondering, do you think-
Do these, this bag of gems,
does it look like those
people will be coming after it
or that there's a way to track them?
- Hard to say.
- Why don't we make sure we take shifts?
Just in case people have crazy nightmares.
- Tracker looks at you guys-
- Yeah.
- And says-
- Oh, yeah.
- Well, if everybody wants to back away
from the van a little bit,
I'm gonna try something
that hopefully will maybe-
- Babe!
- What? I'm not even doing
anything flirty right now.
- Oh, sorry. I misread all of that.
Sorry, what are you
doing in the van? What?
- I guess you'll have
to wait and find out.
- Okay, okay.
- Oh my god.
- Riz takes another lap.
- Are we invited?
- Everyone's insane.
- Me and Riz are just really
talking about the book
but in a way that's so intense
because we can't f*cking pay attention
to anything else that's happening.
- Oh, you meant you and Ragh. Okay, okay.
- No, I'm gonna try to do something to...
- Protect us?
- Protect the van.
- I'll just tell you what my plan is.
- Sorry, yeah.
- I'm gonna try
to turn the van into a Moon Haven.
Normally, it wouldn't work on something
that's purely mechanical,
you know what I mean?
But because there's the
celestial that's in the van now,
it felt like maybe there's
a shot that it would work.
Do you wanna talk to-
- Yeah, sure.
- The van a little bit just to see?
- Moon Haven is a place
where moons hang out?
- No. Well, good guess.
A Moon Haven is a place that,
well, it can comfortably
fit a lot of people,
and if I burn a little
bit more spell energy,
I can create a magic circle within it
that should be able to
repel fey or dream entities
and stuff like that.
- Cool.
- Whoa.
- So I can only do it
up to about nine people. So,
like, Baxter couldn't fit,
and we'd have to have some people
find a way to stay outside of the van.
But it would be a safe place to sleep
and if we did it right,
I think it would stop-
- Well, I don't need to sleep.
- Sandra Lynn looks over and says,
"Me and Gilear don't either."
- Great, so we can stay outside.
- I worry about Gilear, but okay.
- I do too.
- I'll go talk to the van then.
- Cool.
You walk over and start to...
So the van's parked.
You guys are near a little copse of trees.
You're kind of near a roundabout,
like where the highways that
circle the larger city are.
And there's a little copse
of trees and a small field.
There's a dust, little
turnoff from the highway.
One of those places that's just
a forgotten little stowaway
of a larger industrial place
where nature has started
to come back a little bit.
And the van is parked over
there, sort of rusty old van.
As you approach and turn the van back on,
you see it gleams
sort of blue a little bit.
And you see, as the van glows blue,
you hear the voice come over and say,
"Oh, what's up? Gorgug!"
- Hey, van, how you doing?
- I'm doing honestly so good right now.
I've been trying, and I
think that the systems
that your folks put in place
in the van keep the driving
and stuff separate from the main CPU.
So I don't think I can
actually control the steering
and the gas or brake or whatever.
- Oh, okay.
- But like, the radio, the AC,
all of the van's other stuff,
we should be, honestly, good to go.
- That's awesome.
- Yeah!
And if you wanted to tinker
around with the van or whatever
to try to reconnect some of the stuff,
I bet we could do that.
- That's awesome.
I think I definitely
wanna do that long-term.
I might have to call my parents
to get them to help me go
through some of the steps.
I guess I'm okay at it.
I would never say I'm kind of
a master of that sort of thing
but I'll give it a shot.
Oh, but I was just coming in here...
Well, I had two things.
First thing, we're trying to figure out
how to do a Moon Haven in here.
And we just wanted to run that by you
and see if that was cool and
see if maybe we could do it
'cause of your celestial energy.
And also, have you ever beefed it
in a relationship real hard?
- I
tell you, dude, I sure did.
Relationships are super hard.
I was a planetar
of the plane of Elysium.
My purview was harmony, relaxation,
being in tune with just the
chill forces of the cosmos.
- Hm.
- And there was another planetar
that I loved very deeply
and they were sort of my superior
and they had set a clarion trumpet call
for us to embark on a crusade
against the forces of fiends and evil.
And I just got deep in a nap
and I just didn't show up.
- Hm.
- Yeah, that's-
- And I was cast out from paradise.
- Sure.
- So, you know...
- I feel a similar- like,
I didn't take a nap.
I don't think I took a nap.
- Mm-hmm.
- But yeah, I feel like my
planetar's all mad at me
because of me- I forgot to check back in.
- Totally.
- And I get it, but...
Yeah, but would it be cool
if we did the Moon Haven?
- Yeah! Oh, absolutely.
If you wanna do some magic,
I can like, help maybe
elongate the duration
or funnel some celestial energy into it.
Honestly, look, I'm
not about confrontation
and I'm not about violence,
but this van should be a safe place.
- Cool.
- And I am comfortable,
if demons or spirits try to come in here
and be, like, harsh in
the van, to be like,
"Dude, with only love,
like, that's not this space, you know?"
- Cool. You know what,
I'll give it a shot.
Let me tinker around in here.
Can I try to tinker in some way?
- Yeah, give me just a
flat Intelligence check.
We'll say that there's some
modest improvement on a 15,
and on a 20 or higher, you
can attach the celestial
to the driving column.
- Okay.
- You have a minus one
to Intelligence.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's a nine.
- Nine?
- Maybe you want some help with this-
- Cool, you guys see Gorgug
kinda banging around under the hood.
- Yeah, some other time I could
give you some inspiration.
- Lovely.
So you see- Gorgug, you
don't fix it in time,
and the van says, "Dude, honestly,
I think that's a A for effort, my man,
but let's give this a shot another time.
Maybe we'll keep an eye out
for some tools or a garage
'cause I bet this would be easier to do
if we had the full rack
of gear, you know?"
- Yeah, I don't have any.
I'm just sort of grabbing
pipes with my hands,
so it might be a good idea.
- Hey, man, at least you
got hands, dude.
- Hey. We're
gonna find you some hands.
- Oh, what? Look out, here
comes a van with hands.
Oh man.
- Yeah.
- Terrifying.
- Here it comes.
- Like instead of wheels.
- Oh, four hands just
crawling.
- No, thank you.
- I guess I go back to the group.
- Cool.
- It's ripped.
- You see Tracker says,
"Cool, I'm gonna give something a shot."
She steps forward, kneels down.
- Babe.
I'm sorry, that was a bad joke.
- She kneels down. The
clouds part overhead,
and the crescent moon
shines down on Tracker.
You see that as she prays,
white, spectral energy spirals around her
and a pure ghostly-white
wolf moves out of her.
And you can see her projecting
her own soul out of her body.
The wolf grabs the pile
of blankets in its mouth.
Picks them up, and trails
of sparkling energy
with almost- it's like, not
liquid, it's like a smoke,
but it does flow down
out of the wolf's mouth.
- Put that down.
Put it down.
- The wolf bounds off towards the van.
And you see that the wolf
jumps with the blankets
into the van and begins to throw
the blankets over the seats
and up onto the sides of things,
and there's some cushions
that it throws around.
And you see that the wolf,
this spirit wolf starts
digging in the van.
And you see that it's creating
an extradimensional space,
like a wolf burrow inside of the van
so that there's a place to
squeeze through blankets
and pop down into a little bed area.
It's basically this nest
of blankets and different,
almost like a spectral
extradimensional pillow fort
crammed into the backseats of this van.
- Sick.
- And you see
that runes surround the
van in a magic circle,
and the van glows with
this light of the moon,
this bright celestial energy.
The wolf returns,
slowly leaps over the field and
back into Tracker's chest.
And she stands up and says,
"All right, should be good to go.
If we wanna go talk in
there it should be safe."
- That was so cool.
- Was that your soul?
- Yeah.
- Wow.
Babe, day after day, I just
get more and more impressed.
- Stop.
- I just- I wrote you this
note while we were at dinner.
- You see she goes,
"While we were at dinner?"
She opens it. What does the note say?
- "f*ck me."
- She goes...
She writes something in it real quick.
And you see it's just the word "when."
- You see...
- I just- I can't.
- Cool!
- All right, shall we talk in the van?
- Yeah, let's...
- You guys walk into the van.
It looks like a combination of-
sort of like a Leomund's Tiny Hut spell
and a Magic Circle spell have
been cast here in the van.
- Gilear, can I smoke in here?
- Yeah, that should be
totally fine. You see that-
- Actually, I would
prefer you didn't smoke.
- I would prefer if you didn't.
- Can I Prestidigitation so it looks
like nothing's coming out of my cigarette?
- Gorgug is just next to you.
- So you see- so Sandra Lynn says,
"Just lifting that unburning
clove to your mouth
over and over again while we
all smell and can feel smoke?"
- Maybe it's psychosomatic,
but it's making me cough-
- This is a small room.
- You see-
- All the pillows
start smelling like smoke.
- Are we going to be...
We're gonna be sleeping in here
all the time? -
Absolutely worst place to smoke.
- A magic wolf just made this for us
and you're smoking in it?
- Yeah.
- So you guys all squeeze into the van.
The Hangman is outside going,
"Under no circumstances will I enter."
- No, but of course you won't, all right?
I mean, honestly, Hangman,
you have the most important job, right?
You get to keep watch and if
anything comes anywhere near us
I want you to ram the van
as hard as you possibly can.
- Sire, if a dr*fter
or some young teen walking
from a gas station holding on
to a little portable plastic canister
- Right.
- dares to walk by,
I will destroy this van!
- Hangman-
- I will sunder it
- Hangman, use your judgment.
- Bolt from nut!
- You can use your judgment.
- I will send this van
straight to the bottom
of the ninth pit!
- Teens are okay.
No, I mean it's more like- teens are cool
and drifters, I guess, are sometimes cool.
We're talking more like demons,
you know, like the big ape
men and the vulture guys.
Like red dudes who are on fire.
Normal, like, just kinda, like,
people having a hard time,
they can stroll by.
But if you see those other guys,
you smash this van asunder.
- I will destroy the van.
- Hangman, did you
just eat a bunch of cheese?
Maybe some meats?
- I'm feeling pretty lonely.
- All right, hey.
My vehicle's allowed to eat, all right?
If he wants to chew, he's
more than welcome to.
He consumes gasoline or
souls or whatever he runs on
however he damn pleases.
- You leave the Hangman outside.
You see that Baxter the griffon
does that lanky kind of cat lying down
on the roof of the van
and just kinda goes to sleep on top of it.
- Can I give Ragh the Teddy
Bear of Helpfulness to hold?
- He takes the Teddy Bear of Helpfulness.
He's got his little
magical spoon from Adaine.
- Oh!
- He looks at you and says,
"Okay, this is honestly messed up
and I'm really sorry that
I didn't tell the truth
and it's messed up and I'm sorry."
- It's fine. Some of us made-
We all made mistakes today.
Let's just chalk it up to a bad day.
I see that lady in the photo.
I see the lady in the photo.
And he looks over at Tracker and says,
"Nothing can get to me right
now or hear me, right?"
You see she says, "Hear you?
Are you worried about saying something?"
And he's like, "Yeah."
- Okay, why don't you think it
and I'm gonna cast a spell
on you and I'm gonna,
oh actually, I can just Message you.
I'll Message you and then
you can Message me back.
- And then you can
Message it to each of us.
- And then I can Message
to everybody else.
- I also have Message.
- Yeah.
- Cool.
Ragh imparts to you
that on the night of the Prompocalypse,
- Mm-hmm.
- he saw this person.
- Where?
- Being relayed to Adaine and
then to the rest of the group,
Ragh mentally says without
having to physically say,
"So after the fight, I was pretty amped.
You know, it was a lot of emotions.
Like, I had my whole
toxic thing with Dayne.
And I kind of, like after
a lot of talking to Jawbone
I kind of like, relapsed into
a lot of self-loathing stuff,
And then you guys were so awesome.
And Gorgug, I know we had a
moment that meant a lot to me.
And then we fought Kalvaxus.
And afterwards I was just kinda pumped
and I was running around
the school and I went
and I saw there was this
conversation and I was going-
'cause like, a lot of the
teachers had been trapped
in the crystals and had come out again.
- Mm-hmm.
And I saw Jace, the sorcery teacher.
- Mm-hmm.
- Talking to this
woman that I didn't recognize.
She was an elven woman.
She was wearing sort of,
like, black, dark robes,
it looked like. They were very light.
She was blonde, she had glasses."
- She look like this?
- She look like you?
- Mm-hmm.
- I mean, yeah, yeah she looked like a...
She actually looked like you.
But like, older. She didn't look like-
- Right.
- You know, I mean, elves
never look that old,
but she looked like, you
know, not a high schooler.
Jace and them were talking,
and they were talking
to somebody else who I couldn't see.
I just assumed somebody was invisible.
Later, Jace and Porter
came and talked to me.
- Porter.
- And Porter-
- I don't relay that Porter
was involved in this.
- Cool.
- I'm eavesdropping via Message.
- He's like,
"Porter was still somewhat injured
after the fight with
Kalvaxus, and Porter...
I didn't feel that injured, honestly,
but they did some healing on me. Not Jace.
Porter did some barbarian
healing stuff with me.
And after that, I was walking home
and I saw this,
like, cat woman, this, like, tabaxi.
And she came up and told me
all this stuff about my mom.
And she said if I ever
talked to anyone about it,
she would k*ll my mom.
- Oh my goodness.
What about...
Do you feel comfortable
telling us about your mom?
- My mom f*cking slaps.
She's hardcore as hell.
She's a half-orc like me,
which means that my dad,
wherever he is, was
probably a half orc too.
Or he could have been a human or orc
and I just like, you know, but...
- Mm-hmm.
- Her name's Lydia. She was an adventurer.
And she was a barbarian like me.
And they were out on this mission
in the Red Wastes
and there were these soul gems,
honestly, kind of a lot
like the one in the van,
and there was-
- Like this one?
- You see that Ragh looks at it and nods.
And you see he says, "But
this one was fractured
and the thing in it was leaking out
and it was gonna escape
and she basically took it
and plunged it deep into her heart
so that it couldn't escape."
- Your mom did?
- Yeah.
- What does that do?
- Well, she didn't die.
She's just sick, really.
She's really sick and
she's been really sick
for a long time.
There's, you know, there's like...
They're figuring out
stuff that they could do
to try to remove it, but
she has turned down a lot
of the experimental stuff
because none of the people
have ever been able to guarantee 100%
that the threat wouldn't come back.
And she's just basically like,
"I knew what I was doing when I did this."
- What did she say she was doing?
- Saving the world. She's a f*cking hero.
- That's really cool, man.
Do you know if she knew who specifically
was trying to escape from that?
- It was some devil, I think.
I'm not sure which one, but...
- Was it a devil or a demon?
- She always said devil but I
don't know that I'm super up
on the difference
between those two things.
- Yeah, I just learned
them myself, too. Okay.
- But you had a nightmare
when everybody else
had a nightmare, right?
That was true?
- Yeah.
- But you can still see the Shadowcat?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Hmm.
- What exactly did the Shadowcat tell you?
- Yeah.
- She told me if I ever
mentioned to anyone
what I had seen about that elven woman.
- Mm-hmm.
- That she would k*ll my mom.
- So Jace is in on whatever?
- Oh, that is messed up.
- On something?
- Well, Jace
is a high elf, right?
- And Porter is as well.
- And do you think
- No, Porter is later.
- that person was your sister or your mom?
- Yeah, Porter's made of rock.
- He looks and says, "I wanna say-
- I think that
might be my mom, yeah.
- Yeah.
- I don't, Jace and Porter-
- Do you have a picture?
- Yeah, I was gonna
say, on your speaking stone.
- He says, "Jace and Porter
were super nice. I don't know.
Like, the conversation I saw them having,
the reason I walked up to them
was that it didn't look secret.
I don't know, like..."
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, Jace is an open guy.
- I don't wanna get...
Yeah.
- He seemed nice.
- She coulda just been speaking to them
so that she could get to the office.
- Yeah.
- To take
the crown.
- Is there a picture?
Do I have a picture on
my crystal of my mom?
- Yes, you do.
- Great, so I show that picture to him.
- That's her!
- Damn! Okay.
- Okay, okay.
- Okay.
- Yep, that's for sure my mom.
- And you remember that faint
teleportation that night,
the residue that was at the house
that would have been months gone
if it had not been so recent.
- And your mom's in Solace now?
- Yeah, she lives in Elmville.
- Cool.
- It's just me and her
and I take care of her.
- That's cool, man.
- Who's taking care of her now?
- The school.
- Okay, okay.
- They have caretakers
coming to take care...
- Cool.
- She was like-
When I first started going to Aguefort,
I was really not about
going on field missions
and she was basically like,
"That's the end of your life.
You're not gonna stay in
Elmville your whole life
taking care of me."
And so I was like...
- Wow, your mom rules.
- That's cool.
- Yeah.
- Your mom rules.
- She does slap, you were right.
- Does she ever-
- Ragh just starts...
- You can cry, man. It's cool.
- Yeah, it's fine to cry.
- Hey, do you think that she'd wanna move
into Mordred Manor with us?
I think that there's a
couple extra spooky rooms.
- Yeah, the living room
isn't taken anymore.
- You see, he looks and says,
"Yeah, I mean, like...
Is the rent good there?
We were actually really...
We have a second mortgage on
the house so it would be..."
- You gotta move in,
man. You gotta move in with us.
- Yeah.
- You got to.
- He's fully crying.
- There's rules about
nighttime partners for teens
but other than that, no rent.
- I was such a d*ck to you guys!
You guys are so nice to me these days.
- Yeah, dude. You're the best, man.
- Yeah. You do
have to be nice to Zayn.
- Tight, yeah. I'll be chill, yeah.
Zayn was honestly very
mean to me before he died.
- Right, yeah.
- Is that wrong
to speak ill of the dead?
- Both of you, I feel like...
No, I feel like both of you-
- No, it's totally cool.
Honestly, so chill.
- Had some issues
that made you aggro in a way
that was toxic to everyone,
including yourselves.
- f*cking hurt
people hurt people, dude!
- It's true, man.
- Ragh, does your mom ever lose control?
Like, besides just regular
barbarian rage? Like from the-
- Well, she hasn't...
- gem that's inside her?
- She's medically been in
a prolonged state of rage
for like, years.
- Oh, wow.
She has to stay raging-
- And are they putting her
- or the thing will come out?
- in that to protect her?
- Yeah, it's medically
necessary, but she's...
It's not like when you rage in combat.
It's just like- she's like..
- Right.
- 'Cause part of rage is
you quicken your pulse,
your muscles grow.
She's just like- she's very sweet.
She's honestly- like, you
couldn't tell she's raging.
You know, she lost a lot of weight.
She's lost a lot of muscle
mass. She's just sort of like...
Like, she can't walk. Like, you know.
- Can she sleep?
- Mm.
- She doesn't. She doesn't, really.
Like, she'll go out for a
few minutes here or there
but she like- it's not like
us where you're walking around
for the whole day and then you get tired
and go to sleep for a
lot of hours at night.
- I wonder if she can't sleep.
- Mm.
- Because if she sleeps...
- Then she'll be taken
control of.
- Then the Nightmare King comes out.
- Yeah.
- Hm.
- Um...
- Okay.
- Yeah, sorry to unload
all that stuff on you guys.
- That was really
helpful and brave.
- No, it's really helpful.
- It's good stuff.
- Yeah, better out than in.
- Okay, so we know your
parents are involved.
- Mm-hmm-
- Should we go to Aelwyn
or should we try to find your parents?
- We can probably stop at-
try to find out what's
up with Garthy O'Brien,
maybe, on the way to Aelwyn?
'Cause it's all in the sea, right?
- Leviathan is definitely in the sea.
- I mean, definitely if
we went down to the port
we could try to hear-
We could try to ask some people about
Garthy O'Brien.
- We need to get a ride, anyway.
- Oh, hey, Fig.
- Yeah.
- Can you call Doctor Asha?
- Yes.
- And see
if they know anything?
- I did the same move
that I did tonight,
but it worked.
- Do you have your phone?
- I don't have my phone.
- But you have Dr.
Asha's number memorized, right?
I'm assuming you could-
- Yeah, it's a tattoo.
- Wow!
- Sandra Lynn goes,
"Uh, sweetheart,
who is Dr. Asha?"
- It's just a 40-year-old doctor.
- I love middle-aged men
who work honest middle-class jobs.
- Sweetie, a doctor is not a
middle-class job.
- I was just gonna say!
- He works in the emergency
room. It's different.
He's not a specialized doctor.
- Okay. Does he know
that he's dating a minor?
- We're not dating.
And there's nothing minor
going on between us.
- My daughter is a rich
rock star and I have...
I feel that I have lost complete control.
As a mother, I feel I've
lost complete control.
You see that Gilear goes, "Up top."
And Sandra Lynn says, "I'm not
gonna up top that, Gilear."
And he's like-
- I whisper to Fig.
- I will! Bop!
- I whisper to Fig.
We're gonna get them back
together on this trip.
- I want Gilear to
join Jawbone and my mom.
- Yeah, that's a great plan.
- I would love that.
- Oh, a little poly?
- You know, I think he's
not good one-on-one.
But I think joining a party, he can really
add a lot.
- I think he's not good one-on-one.
- Yeah.
- But I think in a threesome...
- Is he good with any number?
- A great complement.
- We don't know.
- We're in a small van-
- Whenever a relationship
- isn't working, add a third
- with all these people.
That's what I learned from this binder
- Wow, really?
that I found.
- Should I add a third?
- Yeah!
It's definitely-
- Cool. Is there any business
before you guys all go to bed that night?
- I just want to apologize to Gorthalax
as privately as I can.
- You apologize to Gorthalax.
You cannot hear a response, but you feel-
- You know, apology isn't
about getting an "it's okay."
It's about saying it
'cause they deserve it.
- You feel your warlock spell slot
restored in your body.
- Is that you?
I think he's okay! He's
in there, he's in there!
- Is there any risk
of that accidentally falling
on your chest while you're sleeping
and it sinking in and
consuming you or like...
Not to be, you know...
- I don't think so.
- Yeah, I would maybe-
- Too blunt, Ragh.
- Wrap it up in something.
- And I'm sorry,
but did she have to cast a spell
and shove it into her chest?
- The rest of her adventuring party bit it
and they had done the spell work already
to break a lot of the curses on the gem
so she was just kinda the last step.
- I think also, not to be, you know,
too much of a disservice to myself,
but I think that half-orc barbarian
is gonna have a lot more oomph
to the thrust than a bard.
- Okay, cool. Good to know.
- I think I couldn't
even if I tried.
- You could.
- You see that the-
- Thank you. Inspiration.
- So you cuddle up with the gem.
You see that Sandra Lynn looks over
at you, Adaine,
- Mm-hmm.
and says, "Well, Madam Oracle,
you wanna take first watch?"
- I would love to take second watch
so that I can get my long rest in
and then I will have spell slots.
- You see that she says, "Oh,
if you need to be doing rest,
we need you at your-
- But I only need four hours of trance.
- Well unfortunately,
sweetie, there's 11 of us
and only nine can fit
in the van so that's as-
- Well, but I can trance outside the van
'cause I don't need protection from...
- Okay, sure.
- 'Cause I'm immune to sleep.
- You'll be outside the van.
Maybe in that case, I'll
get one more pair of eye-
No, you know what, that's fine.
You know what, 'cause I can
let someone else ride Baxter-
- I'm sorry.
- Or I'll sleep in the van.
That's fine. I'll keep watch.
- Thanks.
- So snuggling up, you see
that there really are like-
you know the crease in between the back
and the seat of a car seat?
There are blankets in that
and if you push through,
there are literally little
rooms made of folded blanket
that are very warm and swaddling.
There's snacks in them
and stuff like that.
- Cute!
- Tracker and you cuddle up in one.
Riz, you're in there as well.
Fabian, you find a little spot in there.
Gorgug, is there anything
you do as you're...
You see Ragh, Cathilda,
find a little space as well.
- I think Gorgug just
kinda sleeps on the, like,
across the front two seats uncomfortably.
- Cool.
- Just, like, in case I have to, like-
You know, it's like- he
likes his stuff too much.
- Mm-hmm.
- So it's like his van, like-
- Your handbrake is sticking
right into your ribs.
- Cool.
- Give me a Perception check.
- Nine.
- The van's gonna give
you advantage on that one.
- 19.
- You see the van is
talking to you and going,
"Dude, sorry to interrupt.
I know you're trying to catch
some z's, but check it out.
I just found a setting in here that
waterproofs the van.
And we can, like..."
You see the van pops out a little gnomish,
like, single-engine propeller,
like a little water propeller on the back.
- What? So the van's a boat?
- Dude, amphibious mode unlocked, bro!
- I think we just found your last name.
- What's my last name?
- Boat.
- Van Boat!
- Toot toot, Van Boat on deck!
On deck?
- On deck, man!
- Oh, dude, check it. And you look down.
Your phone is open to the text
from Zelda.
And for a flash, a
little ellipsis comes up
underneath the text.
- No!
- Oh...
- And then it goes away.
- Oh, man.
Okay, I just put my...
- You hear a rumbling outside
the window and you hear,
Coward!
- Bike, stop.
- Master, we've got to get...
Look, I hate this van.
- Yes, I know.
- But if we're going to get
girls onto or into vehicles-
- You saw that?
- I was listening in.
- My bike is very jealous.
I was honestly going to say
we shouldn't mention the fact
that the van has an
amphibious mode to him.
He will be jealous.
- You see that the van says,
"Hey man, it's up to you, you know?
In matters of the heart,
the best thing you can do
is just move with kindness and
try to be true to yourself."
- Thanks, Van Boat.
- You got it.
You see, the last little scene in here is,
Fig, you're holding your
gem there and you see-
You're in the very back seat
and sort of moving along through the van.
I don't begin to understand
the extradimensional spaces
created by the blankets in this van.
- Hi.
- Darling daughter...
- Yeah.
- How are you feeling now?
- I feel like
I had one of the worst days
I've had in a while.
- Hm.
- And I still feel
like I'm the reason that we're all here,
and I know I'm the reason
that Gorthalax is here.
And I'm the reason that you died.
And I'm the reason that Riz almost died.
And I'm also the reason
that some innocent officer's
probably gonna get fired.
- What?
- Wait, just ignore the last one.
Ugh, I just can't believe that someone...
I can't believe that once I was like,
okay, I'm gonna try to
connect with people more
because I need to have a healthy
relationship with someone
instead of tricking
all these middle-aged men.
And as soon as I do, I get
absolutely taken for a ride
and used, someone used my body!
And there's nothing I could
do to have stopped it.
- Figueroth, there are dark
forces at work in this world.
But even when there's not,
control is often an illusion.
I can never stop anything from happening.
And I think most people
come to terms with that.
And I think only because you
and your friends are so exceptional
do you feel such a pain around failure.
Failure is an anomaly for
heroes of your status,
but it is still an inevitability.
There will be times when
you are not strong enough,
and I don't wish for you to
add further injury to yourself.
- But I just feel like
everyone else resisted
and I was the weak one.
I just feel like I let everyone down.
Yeah, failure's inevitable,
but I'd feel a lot more comfortable
if we all failed together and
it wasn't just me who failed.
- Darling, I love you very much.
You succumbed to power of Nightmare
and were possessed for a short time.
Your biological father,
a powerful prince of the Nine Hells,
failed once again to
not get stuck in a rock.
- Okay, you don't need to
cast aspersions on him.
Just, this is not the time
to take a shot at him.
- And I failed to not get
absolutely rocked in the dome
by a gorilla demon.
- Gilear-
- Failure is a part of life.
- Gilear, listen to me.
- Yes.
- You have a part to play yet.
- What?
- You have a-
- I know, tour manager.
It's on my lanyard.
- This is why you're The Chosen One,
'cause you're so innocent and simple.
- All right, you're- okay.
Well, here's the thing. I care about you.
Your mother and I do
talk and we are worried.
The middle-aged men, the tours.
It just feels like a lot of lashing out
and I wish, I don't know.
- If I'm being honest, I think
what happened tonight with...
Commissioner Buggins.
- Sorry, what?
- Oh, nevermind.
- I mean, I can't just
breeze over that one.
- Fine. I think that-
I think that my imagination latched on
to a fleeting moment I
had with a police chief
at a really respectable police station.
And I think that I wanted
to think about that
instead of thinking about the
fact that I got you k*lled
and my dad trapped in a gem.
So I might have leaned
into the middle-aged thing
a little more than I should have.
- Okay.
- Look, I'm on it, okay?
I want to also have a healthy relationship
with someone someday.
- And I know that you will.
All right. I'm going to head off
to one of these little blanket
pockets, because there's one
that does have some transportable yogurt.
You know, yogurt on the go?
- Yeah, I know, I have a-
- You don't need a
spoon. It's just a tube.
- I know because it's on the rider.
- Ah!
- For you.
- Very good,
my daughter. All right...
And you see he toddles off.
Adaine-
- Mm-hmm?
- What are you up to outside of the van?
- Well, I see the van turn into a boat
and I get very paranoid
and cast Water Breathing
as a ritual on myself and everybody else.
Up to 10 people.
And then I'm gonna just,
I guess, camp out under the stars.
- You see that without
you even saying anything,
while you're studying, Sandra
Lynn hops down off the van
and literally builds a tent
around you as you study.
- Oh, can you, how do...
I wanna- how do we- how do you do this?
- You're doing a thing I can't do.
It's okay if I'm doing a thing
that you don't know how to do, but...
- Okay. Or you could teach me.
- You wanna know how to pitch a tent?
- Yeah!
- All right.
And you see that Sandra
Lynn sort of walks you
through some ranger
basics of pitching a tent.
And you see that she leaves you
with a little lantern afterwards and says,
"Don't stay up too late, huh?"
- Oh, I won't. I'm
gonna get my four hours.
- Great, I'll be up here
on watch. You're good.
- And then I can take
over from you if you want.
- Cool, I'm gonna need Adaine
to give me a Wisdom saving throw.
- Oh, can Froggy help me with that?
Or is that-
It's comin' out of
nowhere so probably not?
- I think that's coming out of nowhere.
- A Wisdom saving throw, eh?
16.
- Cool.
- f*ck.
- You finally finish your studying.
You turn off the little lantern.
What's Adaine doing to
snuggle down for the night?
Where's Boggy? Where's her orb?
- I think Boggy is in
the sleeping bag with me.
- Cute!
- Like, maybe I'm using his little-
- As he breathes, he gets
so small and then big again.
He's almost moving you.
Yeah!
- And then the orb is probably
right where I can touch it
just in case, if I get
woken up I need to...
- Gotcha. You're settling down to sleep.
- Mm-hmm.
- This is creepy.
- You're in a trance.
- Mm-hmm.
- The runes of your spell
books going over and over
in your mind, capturing
the spell slots you need
for your new day, for your new rest.
Give me a Perception check.
- 15.
- You open your eyes
to feel Boggy's breathing
stop very suddenly.
And you see his eyes go
wide and shift into his
something's-happening-that-I'm-not-sure-about
expression.
- Can I see which way he's looking?
Is he looking at a specific thing?
- You turn to look in
your little sleeping bag.
There is
something in the tent with you.
- Can I cast Friends on it?
- You do cast Friends. Give me
an Arcana check, real quick.
- Not-nat 20.
- Casting Friends right now
at this thing will allow
you allow you, momentarily,
to see its face with
your elven darkvision.
- Mm-hmm.
- Because right now, you see
that its face is obscured
because it is humanoid, clothed,
but you can't see in bright color enough,
so you're not sure what
color the clothes are.
But there is something roughly your size
sitting with its knees to
its chest, with its hands
or arms wrapped around its knees.
But the fold of fabric
is obscuring everything from the chest up,
like the actual, natural fold of the tent.
If you turn to cast Friends,
you will be able to see this thing's face.
Give me an Insight check very quickly.
- 11.
- If you see this thing's face...
- Mm-hmm.
- Something is going to happen to you.
- g*dd*mn it.
- Yeah.
- We have to sleep tonight.
- I'm so glad this isn't me.
- Oh my god.
- I would probably just
be like, "I see the face."
- Just lemme see the face.
- Show me the face.
- Show me the face!
- I wanna see the face.
- I'm ready to see the face.
- Okay, I say, "What are
you doing in my tent?"
- Oh my god.
- There is no sign of
movement or recognition
from the being in
response to that question.
- g*dd*mn it.
Guys!
Hello, is anyone awake?
- You hear Sandra Lynn up
on the van call out to you.
Adaine, everything okay?
- No!
- You see that, Adaine,
you hear her jump down.
You look back
and the thing is gone.
- Yeah...
- Mm, there's something here.
I saw something. I
definitely saw something.
- You see Sandra Lynn has
arrow in the bow immediately,
is looking around.
You see that she...
Yeah, she's looking around and says,
"Okay, can you cast any detection spells?
Anything to try to find it?"
- Yeah, I can cast...
God, I don't have any, I
have so few spells left.
I used all my spells today.
- Is there any chance that's it's like-
- I could cast Detect Thoughts.
- She looks and says,
"If you think that would help, you can."
- Do you think that would help? I don't...
Okay, I'll cast Detect Thoughts.
- You detect...
Give me a Investigation check.
- Can I use Boggy this time?
- Yes, you can. DC is 20.
- I rolled two 11s,
which means I got an 18.
- Spell doesn't hit any thoughts
but you know that there's nothing thinking
within 30 feet or whatever of the van.
- Okay.
Can I look through Boggy's eyes
and see anything using his darkvision?
- You look through Boggy's eyes.
Yeah, give me another Investigation check.
- Okay.
- Mm, no.
15.
- Sandra Lynn looks at you and says-
You see that she
whistles, Baxter takes off
and starts circling around.
You see, Sandra Lynn looks at
you. Give me an Insight check.
- Okay
Eight.
- Sandra Lynn looks at you and says,
"Okay, Baxter's looking for it right now.
I'm looking for it. You
cast Detect Thoughts.
There's nothing thinking here.
We can wake up everybody else in the van.
I'm just gonna offer
something to you right now."
- Mm-hmm.
- This is a really scary quest.
- Mm-hmm.
- Are you certain you saw something?
I understand, I understand.
If it was there, it's gone right now
to the best of our knowledge.
Maybe it would be best
if you went into the van
and maybe Gilear can come out
or Cathilda or somebody else.
- Okay, yeah.
But I only need four hours
and then I can come out.
- I know, Adaine. It'll
be okay. It'll be okay.
I will say, for whatever
Sandra Lynn is talking about,
based on your Perceptions
and Investigations
and everything else like that,
I don't know if Adaine would
be left with a conviction
that there was definitely
something in the tent with her.
She stewards you into the van
where the protective Moon
Haven that Tracker has created
leaves a celestially-powered
little extradimensional space.
Boggy croaks comfortingly and
you're able to do your spells
not out on the hard earth,
but in a soft little place of blankets.
You see that Cathilda
comes out in her trainers
on her way up to join Sandra Lynn.
A moment later, you see Cathilda
pops into your little room
and says, "Oh, Mistress Adaine,
you'll have to forgive me
but I noticed that you look a
little bit of a pallor on you
while you walked in, so
here's a nice glass of milk
and here's a little tray
of fresh-baked cookies."
- When did you bake these?
I mean, thank you. They look delicious.
- What I did is I jury-rigged
a little grill tray
on top of the engine so it heats up
and you can bake cookies
while we're driving.
- Cathilda!
- Oh, please!
Why, what kind of maid would I be
if I couldn't bake some
nice chocolate chip cookies
on the engine of a moving van?
- You're so much more
than a maid. Not that I want
to dismiss the job of maid
as not being important, because
that is a life-saving job
for a lot of people.
- It's essential!
- You're great.
- Thank you very much, Master Fabian!
My darling Adaine, I do
appreciate your kindness
and I am well aware that Master Fabian
has some misconceptions about
those of us in the custodial professions.
The truth is, before I was a maid,
I lived a life that was much
richer, in terms of glory
and risk and adventure
and everything like that,
and honestly can't say whether or not
I am worse off
for, you know, making cookies
and cleaning up and things like that.
At the end of the day, somebody
needs to clean and cook
and all that, and I don't know.
I did a lot of more
grand things in my youth
and I don't know that they
did anybody, including myself,
much of any good. But I
do know that cookies do.
- Hm.
- She smiles and says,
"Also, just so you know,
Captain Seacaster set my
salary at an exorbitant rate
so I am-
- Oh, good.
That does make me feel better.
- I'm not, this is not a bad gig for me.
- My parents actually, we
did have Unseen Servants
but they made us do a...
Or me do a lot of housework as
like a character-building...
- That's, uh...
- You know,
you have to be able to
serve to know how to lead.
That was my parents'
attitude to everything.
- Right. Well that's certain,
and there's a bit of wisdom
in that to be sure, although
from what I've heard,
your mother and father were um...
- Not great?
- Not great.
- Mm.
- Well, I'll leave you to
your cookies then and have
a good trance, milady.
- Thank you.
- And you see that she leaves
you with milk and cookies.
- I have a little cry as she leaves.
It's just the sweetest thing.
- And you hear her and Sandra Lynn-
You haven't seen Sandra Lynn
or Cathilda kind of hang out,
you know, one-to-one.
- Mm-hmm.
- You hear a kind of pleasant
humming conversation up there
and realize that they seem to
be getting along swimmingly
up on the roof of the van.
- Great.
- Cute.
- The next morning arrives.
- Oof!
- You all wake.
Nobody in the van has
to make any Wisdom saving
throws, no nothin'.
It looks like Tracker's plan worked.
- Wow.
- I'm glad we brought Tracker.
- Yeah, definitely.
- Yeah.
- Shucks. Thanks guys, appreciate it.
- Adaine, you came into the van-
- Oh, I said that out loud?
- Yeah.
- In the middle of the night.
- I saw something, I think, in my tent.
I don't know. I might have just
been paranoid or something.
- What did it look like?
- No!
- I didn't see its face
and it didn't move.
And I tried to talk to it
and it didn't respond but it was...
Maybe I just freaked out, I don't know.
Maybe it was-
- Hey, Adaine?
Seriously, we're working with an entity
that is shielding itself from detection.
You are not, like...
- Right.
- This is a very logical
conclusion that you jumped to.
- Yeah. Anyway, I stocked some spells that
maybe can help us.
- Did it have cat feet?
- Did it have cat feet?
- No.
- No.
- Did I see its feet? No.
- You saw its hands.
It had- again, you can't tell,
because your darkvision
doesn't read color that well,
but it didn't have claws or paws.
It had humanoid-type hands.
Honestly, its hands didn't
look that threatening.
They looked kinda dainty
and sort of fancy.
- How dainty were they?
- Was it your mom?
- No, was it...
- Was it Baron?
- No.
- I describe Baron.
- The thing you saw was
medium-sized, not small-sized.
- Okay.
- Oh, okay.
- Is it your mom?
- Is Baron growing by the day?
- I feel like I would have
recognized my mom.
- Baron is growing.
- Can I talk to Ragh?
- Yeah.
- Ragh, can you explain, like, what you...
Were you hanging out with your mom before,
like the night before
we left for this thing
or what was she like the
night before we took off
on our big adventure?
- I mean, mostly good.
You know, like, she was happy for me
'cause I was probably gonna have to...
He gets a little choked up.
He goes, "I was probably
gonna have to repeat this year
if nobody asked me on an adventure."
- Oh.
- That's crazy.
- But if our grades are good
then I can graduate, probably.
- Do you have security on your house?
Doesn't that seem-
- Cool.
You probably don't need it.
- You see he says, "Oh," he's
like, "Oh you mean like..."
He's like, "You mean
like physical security?"
- I mean like any kind of
security. It sounds like...
- I think we're probably not talk-
- Professor Aguefort is looking
after your mom right now.
- Yeah. No, she was like, an adventurer.
- Professor Aguefort owes
me a magical creature.
- You see that he looks and says, "What?"
- We're all
Messaging this conversation
about his mom, right?
- Oh, probably.
- Yeah.
- Nothing. I just have a letter
to send. Strongly worded.
- But yeah, so she wasn't
asleep or anything?
She was still very much
awake like she always is?
- You see he says, "Yeah,
I mean like, she was awake
and talking and stuff."
- Cool, cool.
- Did she get worse after prom?
- No, not really.
- Okay.
- Cool, cool.
- Is there any way that
we could talk to her?
Give her a bell? Talk to your mom?
- I don't wanna tell
her any of this stuff.
- That's fair.
- Totally fair.
- Oh, that's fair.
- I think we've got this boat-
- All right, yeah.
- And we should go-
- Can I real quick, I just wanna look-
This is totally unnecessary,
but I just wanna look through
that book that we found
from the hotel, and see if
Goldenrod or KVX ever was there.
- Mm-hmm.
- You did not.
You guys rolled really high on that.
I would've told you
if you guys had ever seen KVX.
- Cool.
- Can I do a Detect
Magic as we're heading off?
- Mm-hmm.
- Are we going to
Leviathan? Is that our plan?
- Yes, well, we're on our way to Fallinel,
by way of Leviathan.
- Great.
- Yeah, I think that's smart.
- So as we're driving, can
I Detect Magic as a ritual
on this hotel book, just to make sure
that there isn't anything
magically hidden?
- Sure. You don't spot any magic here.
- Okay.
- Can I ask you guys something
on the way to the harbor?
- Mm-hmm.
- Totally.
- I've been feeling not...
Feeling a little down, and
I was just wondering if, um,
when we get in the water...
- Mm-hmm.
If you guys would mind calling me Skipper?
- Yeah, man.
- Absolutely not.
- I'll definitely
call you Skipper, yeah.
- You'll call me Skipper?
Okay.
- Why?
- It doesn't have to be
a, it's just kinda...
- Can I call you Skipper
outside of the water as well?
- Yeah. It's just, you know,
'cause I've been-
- Hey man, why you been feeling down?
What's up?
- Well, it's just some stuff,
you know, I'm just kinda sad
about where I'm at with Zelda right now,
and I think it'd make me feel better
if people call me Skipper.
- Do you want us to text Zelda
and tell her
- No.
- that you didn't leave?
- I talked- I left her a message.
- Right, but like-
- You haven't heard from her since?
- Is she going to The Red Waste?
- I think, yeah.
- I think she, yeah.
- I think maybe her adventuring
party is. Is that...
Wait, is that...
- That's where Ragh's-
- That's where the crystals were.
- And they were doing
a whole crystal thing.
- Yeah, I think
that we should call Zel-
- Should I call her?
- Do you want...
Can you do an unknown number call to her?
- Why not just one of us?
- Just call her.
- Yes.
- Just give her a call
straight from you.
- I'll call her.
- I think Riz could call her.
- Leave her a voicemail,
one of those things.
- Yeah, I'm really good
at talking to people.
- Absolutely not.
- Okay.
- What?
- Gorgug, give her another call.
- I can call her.
- No, no, no, I-
- She doesn't wanna be
tricked into talking to you.
- It wouldn't be tricked.
Riz would just call because
we have this information
about The Red West.
Red West. The Red Waste
and we need to-
- It is west.
- The Red Waste in the west.
- Maybe you call her and I'll just-
- But if we share that
information it could put...
- Ragh at risk.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Oh, what we could do
is send her a letter-
- In Illusory Script?
- Using Illusory Script.
- Can we text with Illusory Script?
- Can we text with Illusory Script?
- Give me a DC 15 Arcana check.
- Great.
- Can I give you the Help action?
- Great.
- Can I give you Bardic Inspiration?
- Arcana? Oh, I don't need it.
I got a 19.
- I don't give it.
- Yeah, you do...
One of your crystals has that little thing
where you can stylus draw,
like, fading things on it.
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
- And as soon as you get that,
you can apply the Illusory Script to it.
- Amazing.
So can I text Zelda the information
that we got about Ragh's mom?
- How do we feel about Zelda,
though? She's like, for sure-
- Zelda rules.
- I mean, obviously, Zelda rules, but-
- Yes, but we all
thought Goldenrod ruled.
- What are you even talking about?
- No, I'm not-
- What are you talking about right now?
- I'm definitely not trying to insinuate
that she- but I just- it feels
like her adventuring party,
maybe something was going on, I remember.
- Yes.
- Yeah, I cannot help
but agree with Adaine
in that Zelda is a
perfectly capable adventurer
and it feels like maybe we don't need
to enter this realm of
risk for her benefit.
- Yeah.
- I don't wanna, okay.
- You should call
her if you wanna talk to her
about your relationship,
but I guess we don't have to tell her
all of this crazy stuff.
- I think that,
and separately we should maybe-
- Well, but if they're
investigating something-
- Give them a heads-up if
they're gonna get in danger.
- They're investigating something
at the Red Waste. - Yeah. And if
they're investigating something
that's tangential to ours-
- We should share.
- We can help each other.
- I think it's good to
share the information.
- Yeah.
- I just wanna, can we-
- Maybe tell her to keep
it a secret to herself.
- That's what I was gonna say.
- Are we graded on a curve?
Because if we are, then
we should avoid them.
But if we're not, then
we should help them.
- Adaine, come on.
- Wow, that was dark.
- We're not graded on a curve.
- I'm sorry, what?
- That was so dark. That was so dark.
- That was tragic. Hey-
- Truly the darkest thing
that's been said so far.
- Wow. Whew!
Can I smoke in here again?
- No!
- You're doing it anyway!
- I'm not, I'm not.
- We can tell!
- All right-
- Oh my goodness.
- So I'll just start driving.
- I cast Ray of Frost on that.
- Let's drive. Driving to-
- I'll just start driving to-
- I cast Hellish Rebuke
and light it back up.
- Let's just drive into the ocean.
- That sounds good, Skipper.
- Skipper, drive us into the ocean.
- I cast Water Breathing on us
again so that we're all safe.
- Oh, if we have Water Breathing on us,
can I swim and retrieve my phone
that I threw into the river?
- It's in the river.
The police definitely already have that.
- You guys can take...
Yeah, you think that probably the phone
would have been retrieved
by the police at this point.
- We can buy you a new phone.
We have so much money.
- Yes, we're rich.
- I just had some pictures on there.
- Well, they're definitely dead.
- Wow! Wow!
- They're not there anymore.
- You see Sandra Lynn just goes, "God!"
And Gilear goes,
"Yeah, this is another one right
on the chin for old Gilear.
This is...
It just hurts so much to
have failed this profoundly."
You see that...
You guys head off towards the water.
Fabian, you're on the Hangman.
- I'm not gonna call
him Skipper, all right?
He's not a captain. He's never
even sailed a boat before.
- The most Jack Johnson-y.
- Oh my god.
- Just, that's all the van plays.
- You guys head off towards-
- Make you banana van cakes.
- What?
- What?
- As you all head off to the harbor,
you see that Sandra Lynn
- Banana boat cakes?
- actually does go-
You see that Sandra Lynn says-
talks with Tracker briefly
and Tracker's gonna go fly up on Baxter.
- Cool.
- And Sandra Lynn's gonna
take a little trance.
You guys head off. You
guys approach the harbor.
You pull up, you see that
the van looks at you,
or doesn't look but the
headlights flash on,
the radio plays, and on the radio it says,
"Well, you know, it's bon voyage time.
Hangman, if you wanna hop up on the rack,
then we can set sail for clear blue seas
and that good ocean livin'."
- Climb aboard, Hangman.
- Hangman, it's your call.
- I burn
with hatred for this van.
I would sooner drive into the sea and
ride along the bottom of the ocean.
- Please!
- Make a Persuasion check with advantage.
- 15.
- 15.
- Okay, Hangman, look we're
going to pirate central.
Isn't that like, your thing?
- He's a demon, not a
pirate. I mean, he looks-
- Oh, 19!
- 19.
- Hangman, this is what Bill
Seacaster woulda wanted.
- Give me a Persuasion with advantage.
- I think I have good Persuasion.
24.
- Whoa!
You see he says, "Do you truly believe
Captain Bill Seacaster would wish
for me to strap myself
to the top of this van?"
- You're making it sound bad
but what he would want for you
is to taste the salt in the air
and feel the wind in your pipes.
- I don't know. I'm his son and-
- Fig is really good, you guys.
- Oh, do you wanna be the captain?
- I mean, there's already
Skipper, so, you know-
- No, you can be the captain
and I'll be the skipper.
- Isn't that the same thing?
- That's not really
how a ship, you know-
- I don't know.
- I think it is.
- No, I don't think so.
- We can make up our own rules.
- Yeah.
- I guess.
Fine I'll...
- I guess I'll be first mate.
- You see Ragh goes, "And
I'll be king of the boat!"
- Yeah!
- King of the boat.
- Hangman, I need you.
- Captain, first mate.
- Hangman looks at you and says,
"For the new Captain
Seacaster and the old."
And you see he like,
rides, hits the hood of the van,
goes up onto the roof,
and gets tied up there.
And you see that Baxter
lands and puts one claw
around the Hangman just
to hold it in place.
You see that Hangman- he goes,
"All right, everybody
pile in. All aboard!"
- All right, let's do this.
- Okay.
- And we're sure that this
is sea-ready, this vessel?
- Mm-hmm.
- I mean,
I trust the Thistlesprings.
- Got a propeller.
- Not really.
- You guys drive, as
you drive you see, yeah,
the van boat begins
to head into the harbor.
It goes, "Toot toot!"
And these big old gnomish pontoons inflate
around the front and sides of the van.
And you see he says, "Get ready
for the spring break road
trip of our lives, g*ng.
Heck yeah."
- Nice!
- Adaine, can I grab something
from your jacket of many things?
- Yeah, what do you want?
- I need a phone that's
my same phone number.
- That is worth 10 gold pieces?
- It can be a cheap one.
- All right.
- Just the same phone number.
- Pre-paid.
- Pre-paid.
- I pull out a full-
- Pre-paid with 10 gold?
- 1980s-style brick phone.
- Cool, great. Thanks.
- Uh-huh.
- Hey, can I look at
that bag of gems again?
- Yeah, absolutely. Have at it.
- Okay, are there any gems in here
that kind of look like the ruby
that she stole from that jewelry spot?
- The only things you
saw that were that large
and flawlessly cut were the ones
that have gone into the van here
and the Devil's Heart it's holding.
- Those were the only two?
There's nothing that kinda looks like it?
- There are other nice gems
but all of them are quite small
or are not as finely cut.
- But do they- they're all...
Like, when I did the Identify spell,
they're all components of the magical jar?
They all have things trapped inside them?
- Yes, they all look
to have magical things
trapped inside them.
You see that Cathilda, by
the way, comes sort of-
the van is much larger
for her- comes around.
She apparently at some point bought
little plastic coconut drink holders
and starts passing out-
- Oh!
- Oh my god!
- Little coconut-
- Can I do a
Perception check on Cathilda?
- Make a what?
- Perception check.
- Sure.
- All right.
- Is Cathilda the new Porter?
- I love Cathil-
- A dirty 20. Can we trust her?
The cookies, I wanna
know about the cookies
she gave Adaine last night.
- You glare at Cathilda as she passes by.
She looks at you and says,
"Oh, Mistress Fig, would
you like a virgin daiquiri?"
- Only if you taste it first.
- You worry that I've
poisoned your daiquiri?
- Do I need to be?
- I don't know. Maybe you lie so much
that you're always worried
other people are doing it.
- Fig, she's a maid!
She can't lie!
- Slam down!
- That's not true.
- Maids aren't allowed to lie.
It's in Maid Law or
something. I don't know.
- Now, Fabian, you know that I made a joke
about Maid Law many years ago,
and I've insisted ever since
I made it that it's not true.
- I mean, it sounded very real.
It feels like there would be a
code that maids would follow,
something that keeps
maid society together.
- I understand. Would you
like a virgin daiquiri?
- Of course I want one!
- Yeah, okay.
- No thanks, I'm driving.
- In my "On the Subject
of World Religions",
do I have anything that I
can be reading about demons?
- Oh, and the
planetar as well, maybe.
- Yeah.
- Go ahead and make a
Religion check for me.
- All right.
Interesting.
Okay, that's 11.
- You don't find anything about-
Planetars are a very
powerful type of angel,
second only to solars.
They're just a powerful form of angel.
- Question, how do-
This is such a- I feel like Riz,
as soon as he sees the open
air and everybody chilling,
is completely incapable of
chilling and goes inside
and starts spiraling
into conspiracy theories.
How do you spell Garthy?
- G-A-R-T-H-Y.
- An H, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
- I immediately come
out with a bunch of pins
and papers put together and say,
Garthy O'Brien, I thought it
sounded weird like a fake name.
You can spell night in there,
and I don't know what the other word is,
but it's all mixed up.
- Oh.
- And night orby, maybe?
What is a night orby?
Have you thought about it?
- A night orby?
- I don't know what the second word is.
- Is it O'Brien
O-B-R-I-E-N or O-B-R-I-A-N?
- E-N.
- Interesting.
- Fabian jumps in the water.
He's swimming.
- Just swimming in the beautiful sea.
It's a beautiful day.
You're swimming along. You're heading out.
You can see the Solesian
coast fading behind you.
- Can I do a little something with the-
- The Ball, come down!
- I'm gonna get a gem.
They already have people in it.
- The Night Bore.
- Nevermind.
- Are they people?
- Night rope, no.
- Or different spells, I guess.
- You see Cathilda
and the other two adults
watch a van full of children
unable to sit still or be happy
and just kind of hold their heads.
- Night Yorb!
- Night Yorb. That's
what I have right now.
- You see that the Hangman on top says,
- "The Night Yorb!
What know you of the Night Yorb?"
- The night-
- Is the Night Orb a thing, Hangman?
- Night Yorb.
- The Yorb, the Yorb, Fabian!
- Oh Yorb, I'm sorry.
- You can't forget the Y.
- You see that the van goes,
"Oh man, yeah, the
Night Yorb is bad news."
- Wait, is it actually a thing
or are you guys playing a joke?
- No, I would never joke about a being
as terrifying as the Night Yorb.
- Yorb!
- You can almost spell Gilear.
- This, oh, Fabian gets out-
- You see Gilear says-
- This is a whole lot.
- So how often in sleuth stuff
does almost making an anagram come up?
A lot?
- You tell us.
- I have an idea.
I would like to take all the gems-
Is the bag decorative and
memorable, that they were all in?
Or is it just a bag?
- It's a lovely little velvet
pouch. Seems nice enough.
- Okay, I wanna take all the gems out
and have you put it in something else.
A sock.
And then I wanna cast Glyph
of Warding on this bag.
- Okay.
- With exploding runes in it.
- Cool.
- So just in case someone
- Oh, so if someone
- comes back- yeah. They'll take
- tries to steal it.
- a sh*t-ton of acidic damage.
- Kristen Applebees,
- That is genius.
- Yeah.
So no one open this bag!
- What's in the bag?
- And then I go around
individually to people
and say, this is a fake bag.
- Let's put it in the glove compartment.
'Cause that seems like a place
that people would try to rob us.
- Yeah, okay.
- Nice.
- Wait, actually I'm
just gonna keep it on my person
just in case.
- Okay, that's also good.
- You know, Gilear is
always looking for yogurt.
So I put it in my jacket.
- He's like a squirrel.
Okay, that's good.
- If we're ever running
away from something,
maybe I can accidentally drop it
and they'll think that they got it back.
- That's good.
- You, as you are heading out to sea,
the music's playing, having a little fun.
Fabian's swimming out in the ocean.
You get a call on your crystal
in the front seat from Zelda
returning your call.
- I got a...
Captain or first mate, please take over.
- Yeah.
- Definitely. I outrank you.
I swim up-
- What?
Oh, I cannot!
- Gorgug just tries
to find whatever would
amount to privacy on this.
- Cool, you could probably call-
The only things on top of the van
are the Hangman and Baxter.
- Okay I'll go up there.
- Cool.
- What's up, y'all?
- The phone rings and
you hear Zelda's voice.
Hey, Gorgug.
- Hey.
Did you get my message?
- Yeah, I got it.
- I just wanted to say how sorry I was
because I don't really have a good excuse
but it just felt, I...
Yeah, I'm sorry.
It was, like I said, I
don't have an excuse.
But yeah, how are you?
- I don't know, you know? I'm okay.
I, you know, spent last
night over at Antiope's house
with Katja, just kinda
hanging out or whatever.
Like, played some crystal games and...
Yeah, I don't know. Like, it just sucks.
This doesn't feel good.
- Well, I just hope that you know
that I would never do
something like that on purpose,
and I still really, you
know, care about you
and our relationship and it just...
I'm excited to see you when I get back,
and I hope your stuff is going well.
- Yeah, I'm excited, too.
Like, I don't know. I really-
I really care about you a lot, and
it just kinda, like-
I don't know, Gorgug. It just
kinda sucks because like-
- What do you mean, you don't know?
- Look, I'm so glad that
Fig and Riz are okay.
I know how stressful it is.
And if we're gonna be a
couple, like a relationship,
these kinds of things
are always gonna come up.
This is, like, what an
adventurer's life is.
And...
I know that you were busy
and it makes me feel
bad that I'm even upset
because obviously you were
doing something heroic.
But, like, you did stop
at the mall, right?
You did, like, swing by to get Cathilda.
Like, there were other
things on your mind.
It wasn't like you were
just racing to get them.
And it's just, like...
Look, I just think sometimes you think
that you're, like, awkward or whatever,
or you think that, like,
you still think you're this loser guy.
But, like, you're a rockstar,
literally a rockstar.
And you play on the Owlbears
and you literally saved
the world and, like...
It's not
crazy for me to worry that...
- I didn't think it was
crazy that you were worried.
You're right. I totally had the time to...
I shoulda called you.
I shoulda texted you.
Or I shoulda seen you
in person before I left.
I mean, I know that...
Yeah, I guess maybe
I have some confidence issues
I need to work on but...
- But I think it's like your
confidence issues keep you
from, like, doing the...
Like, because you don't
realize how important you are
to some people, you end up hurting people.
I don't know.
- I think, oh, I...
- But I don't know. Like,
we can also, like...
We can like...
- We can do what?
- We can talk about this
more later. Did you hear me?
- It sounded like there
was a weird noise there
for a second.
- You see she says, "Oh, I...
Well, I...
If you-
- Hey, we're getting closer.
We are going to Fallinel
right now, if you can hear me.
I'm maybe losing service
right now, can you hear me?
- No, I can still hear you.
Well, okay, but just
give me a call tonight.
Just give me-
- I will try to...
I'm worried that we won't
have service but I will-
- Well, you said you were
gonna get the generator, right?
- The generator?
- You said that you were gonna get a thing
so that we could call each other.
- I thought...
- You said you were...
Gorgug, you said you were gonna get a...
- Oh!
- I can't...
- Oh!
- We're, we're breaking up.
- Oh man.
- Hey, what did you say?
- Oh no!
- I try to put Baxter
on my arm.
- Giant claw on your forearm.
- And just sit up here for a while.
- Everything good up there
on top of the van, hombre?
- I'm just gonna hang
out up here. I think...
I think- you don't happen
to have some kind of powerful
generator in you, right?
- I'm, like, generating- yeah,
like, I have a power source.
- For cell service, so I can-
- Yeah!
- Really?
- Yeah!
- Can you turn it on?
- Sure, just plug in a cell tower
and I can power that bad boy right up.
- Gorgug tries to make a cell tower.
- Go ahead and give me
an Intelligence roll
with disadvantage.
- Hangman, can I borrow some pipes?
- Double 20s.
- Okay.
- Oh, you still rolled...
- 11.
- Oh.
- 11 does not allow you
to make a cell phone tower.
- Make a cell tower.
- What would the DC check be on that?
- Can I maybe pull one? How
expensive is a cell phone tower?
- Definitely 10 gold pieces.
- Yeah, you could say
around 10 gold pieces.
Or maybe 10 different
components that I could pull out
that then join together.
- Slowly just start building.
Bolt, bolt, nut, bolt.
- You guys
head out to sea.
- Wow.
- Oh, brutal.
- Gorgug, just so you know,
I also kinda messed up a
sure thing yesterday, too.
- What kinda sure thing
were you talking about?
- Jesus
- Like, we're talking about relationships.
- Yeah, who?
- I don't know. That I can't really-
talk about.
- I kinda just grab Fig and pull you away.
- What? What?
- I'm pulling you away.
- I will also ask for just
Insight checks from the party.
Gorgug, and you can just give
me a flat Charisma check.
- Can I have Froggy help me?
- Yes, you can.
- I have bad Insight.
Can I give a Help to...
- Sure, yeah, you can give a Help to Riz.
- 21.
- That's a four.
- I'll guard you so you have time.
- 22.
- I also got a 21.
- What did you get, Riz?
- 22.
- Can I do Insight if it's
better than my Charisma?
- I'm actually asking
you for a Charisma check.
- Oh.
- What'd you get?
- Four.
- Four. What did Fabian get?
- Two.
- Two.
Okay. And what did you
get for your Insight?
- Oh, I gave mine to- oh I
just got a Nat 20, actually.
- Nat 20, great.
So literally every single
one of the Bad Kids
can immediately tell what's
just happened on the roof.
You can hear it, except Fabian who assumes
that everything is
completely fine up there.
- Guys, this is gonna
be a great spring break.
Then I swan dive back into the ocean.
You guys gotta come swimming!
- You see Ragh goes, "Cannonball!"
- We're going forward, aren't we?
- Come back, come back!
- Round number two!
- I throw some ropes.
- Sincerely can't.
- You see that Sandra Lynn
goes, "Oh god, dumbasses,"
and jumps up on her griffon
and picks them out of the ocean
to be like, "Do you have
any idea how bad it is
to go overboard on-
- Drop us! Now drop us!
Drop us!
- I have my ice cream pouch.
- Yeah, Mom, get into it!
- My ice cream sandwich pouch,
so I think I take out
an ice cream sandwich
and give it to Gorgug
like, man, that sucks.
- Yeah, I give him Boggy.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- I don't wanna push you in a direction
you're not ready for yet,
but I put the drumsticks in his hand.
- I can't hold that right now.
- If anything comes to you-
'Cause a lot of times these
are the feelings that we mine
that turn into gold.
- I guess, lyrics-wise-
- Platinum really.
- The first things that
come into my head are,
I'm feeling really bad
and my van is a boat.
I'm feeling really sad
and my boat is a van.
- Oh, okay.
- Oh!
- Oh, that's good, actually!
- Okay, yeah.
- That was great.
- Night Yorb!
- Is coming for us.
- You see that the Hangman
goes, "Speak not of the Night Yorb!"
- Guys, don't talk
about the Night Yorb!
Ragh, stop pushing me under!
- Van, is there a song
called "Night" by OAR?
- Oh, or Night Araboy.
- Is there?
- Where's the Y?
- In Garthy.
- Garthy.
- Oh, okay.
- You see that the van says,
"Playing 'Night' by OAR."
- Oh.
- Oh, it's very chill.
- This song rules.
- Honestly, this song is great.
- Yeah.
- Wow, sick uke.
- I really wish the van
would play a little more rock and roll.
- If you guys have music,
you can just play it
straight from your phone.
- Oh, with an aux cord?
- Oh.
- Is that, do I have consent?
- I don't think your phone has any songs.
- Yeah, your phone, specifically,
is not gonna play anything.
- I try with my brick phone.
- You put your brick phone in there.
It says, "To add more
minutes, press star."
- Riz puts on a really
old "This American Life."
- "This Solesian Life," yeah.
- Yeah, "This Solesian Life."
- "This Solesian Life."
- You put on a very old
"This Solesian Life."
This week, wondrous items.
Who makes them, and how are they created?
- Oh, this is so interesting-
- Hard no! Hard no!
- I can play along with this.
- I love this one.
I put down the windows-
- It's like they purposefully
look for a smaller and
smaller story each episode.
I don't wanna hear two
hours about the bassoon.
- This week, cantrips.
Why do we cast them?
- I loved the cantrip episode.
- Yeah, it's so good.
- I learned so much!
- You think they're not spells
just because they're level-zero spells.
- Gorgug puts his headphones on.
- But they're spells.
- Gorgug can, oh...
- You guys, you see Gilear says,
"There's one I want to listen
to," pushes the button.
You see it goes, "This week
on 'This Solesian Life,'
50 feet of hemp rope.
Why do so many people seem to have this?"
- Why do they have the
rope, Gilear? I don't know.
- I like this.
This sounds like a nice,
respectable, middle-aged man.
I could listen to this.
- Gorgug, you put your headphones on
and Zelda's playlist comes on.
You guys sail into the wide open ocean.
I'm gonna need somebody here to make a...
I guess Gorgug is the one driving,
so go ahead and make a
flat Wisdom check for me.
- Oh Lord.
- You have Boggy
to help you.
- Hey, Gorgug? You got this.
That means you have inspiration.
- How much do I add?
- A d8.
- D6. Oh wow, it's a d8 now.
- Ooh!
- Don't add it unless you need it.
- Okay, so with the help from
Boggy, Gorgug takes the wheel.
16...
21.
- 21, awesome!
You sail the van over the
wide open sea expertly.
- Cool, I'm gonna go ahead
and let's see how many
days you guys are at sea.
You are at sea for two days.
What I would like from you guys now is,
who are the people that...
Or is anyone planning
on spending the night
up on top of the van
because only nine people
can sleep at a time.
- Can I do it?
Like, can I go on top
of the van but sleep?
Like, do it for the experience
of how nice it would be?
- Yeah, can we take turns? If
we're taking two days we can-
- Basically, all the kids-
- Take turns sleeping inside.
- Can stay inside, right?
- Yes.
The hirelings should go on top of the van.
- But I'm saying I think it might be nice.
- Yeah, night one, Fig,
if you wanna go there,
you see your mom looks at you and says,
"Why don't we spend a
night on the van together?"
- Yeah, that sounds great.
- Can you give her...
- Hey, you trust Cathilda, right?
- Sweetheart, yes.
- Can we give her Bless?
- Yes, I trust Cathilda.
- Or Guidance or anything?
- Absolutely.
- Yeah.
- If you're gonna be
on the top of the-
- Yeah, let's do it.
- It didn't target Sara Lynn before.
Is there something about-
- Oh, Mom, do I need to be
in the van or could I...
'Cause I might need to sleep in the van.
- You see she says, "Well, you
do sleep so if we're worried
about that thing happening again, we can.
Or if you want, we could
try to protect you up here."
- I didn't wanna put anything on you.
I'll just go to sleep in there.
I just thought it'd be nice to
be under the stars, but yeah.
- We can hang out and then
go to sleep for a minute.
- Okay.
- It only lasts for a minute.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- Like, Bless-
- Cool.
So the first night you guys are out there.
And she's like, "If you wanna
hang out for a couple hours
and then, you know..."
- Yeah.
- You can maybe give
'em Bardic Inspiration
if they're gonna sleep out here.
- No, I'm not gonna sleep out here.
I'll just hang out, enjoy the stars-
- For whoever has to be out here, I mean.
- Yeah.
- You see your mom looks at you.
You spend this beautiful night
on the stars, the night ocean.
You're both, like- you're
sitting on the roof of the van,
feeling the wobble of the
sheet metal underneath you.
But also mostly pitched back
with Baxter's enormous weight.
So Baxter's become a
furry feathery back sofa
for you guys to lean against.
- Cute.
- I offer my mom a clove cigarette.
- She looks at you.
- I knew it.
- What the f*ck, right? We're adventuring.
- Yeah, yeah.
- So what's up? You're
making out with old guys?
- Uh...
Can we just smoke in silence
and not talk about that?
I'm working on it.
I know you and Gilear
and definitely Gorthalax
and probably Jawbone and
every other adult in my life
would advise me to stop doing
that, and I'm working on it.
It's a bad habit, right?
You know
something about that.
Cigarettes. I'm talking
about the cigarettes.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
You're a piece of work, kid.
- Well, you made me.
- Yeah. God, I guess I did.
You're gonna be all right.
It's hard, you know?
Not even...
There are so many fun mistakes.
And I think sometimes for me,
the idea of living for
centuries gets daunting.
You know the feeling of vertigo, right?
- Yeah.
- It's like, because you can fall,
you almost want to.
- Want to, yeah.
- I think when you got
centuries staring you down,
it's just this weight
of, given enough years,
aren't I going to f*ck this up?
And if so, maybe I should
just get it out of the way.
I don't know.
- I guess I don't have centuries, though.
- You might. Tieflings don't
all live to be the same age.
Some tieflings live hundreds of years.
See, that fiendish blood
in you is not human.
It's not extra mortal.
- Hm.
I keep a pretty healthy lifestyle.
- Yeah, real healthy.
All right, you wanted us to
shut up so let's shut up.
She reaches into her ranger pack
and takes out a flask of
whiskey and hands it to you.
- I was gonna be straight edge
except for drugs but okay.
If I'm doing it with my mom, yeah.
- Straight edge except for drugs.
- And you guys hang out looking
at the stars that night.
I'm gonna make some quick...
Okay.
- I'll give her a Bardic Inspiration
if she's making Wisdom checks.
- Wisdom saves. Cool, great.
That's good to know.
Second night, who all is...
The second night, you guys begin to see
that it goes from sunny to overcast.
Who's gonna be out there
on this starless night
on the sort of- on the black ocean?
- I will just 'cause, with
Boggy, I have darkvision.
- Cool.
- I have darkvision as well.
- You see that Tracker looks and says...
No, actually Tracker needs
to get her spells back
to be able to create the Moon Haven.
Cool, so you are gonna go up there.
Do you and Gorgug wanna go
up there that second night?
- Do we need two people to go up there?
- Yeah 'cause only nine
can fit in the van-
- Okay.
- And sleep at the same time.
Sandra Lynn says, "I will say this,
I love being outside every night
but one night of trance on a
soft thing would be great."
- Yeah, I also, I mean,
I didn't use any spells the
previous day and so I can...
- Yeah great.
- Do you guys want a healer
up there with you 'cause I
could do it too if you want.
- Okay.
- The three of us.
- Sure.
- Yeah, okay.
- Okay.
- 'Cause you guys
could have presumably
slept during the day.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, what're we gonna...
- Well, but who knows
if the Nightmare King...
- Cares about what time?
- Cares about what time
of night it is.
- Yeah.
- It's just nightmares.
It's not night-mares.
- Okay...
- You have the ability
to give us Bardic Inspiration.
- Yeah, I mean, I think I would just-
As you guys were going up the
spiral staircase to the top,
I would give you all
a little inspiration. Hey.
- I love this
crow's nest up here.
- Cool.
- We all hold hands.
- Lovely.
Tracker's also gonna cast a
second-level spell on Gorgug
to give you advantage
on Wisdom saving throws.
- Nice!
- Cool, you guys go kick it
on top of the thing, looking-
- I wanna whisper,
Sandra Lynn left a flask
of whiskey up there, so...
- Okay, I can just also...
- Should I give it back to her?
- Nah.
- What?
- I don't need to steal
anybody else's whiskey.
- Okay, cool.
I can just-
- I was trying
to hook you guys up, okay?
- I mean, no, look, I have it in my...
- Right. Yeah.
- You guys look
- Does she know it's
- at endless black ocean.
- up there?
Less romantic than the starry skies
that Fig and Sandra Lynn got to see.
What do you guys, as you are up there
before you're all going to sleep,
what do you guys do up
there on top of the...
- I think I'm like...
I don't really have
anything that I can cast
'cause everything's a minute or something.
- I'd like to think that Gorgug
would have asked you this earlier.
- Mm-hmm?
- But is there any way
you could find a skipper's
hat in that bag?
- Oh yeah, here we go.
I pull out a headscarf and put that on.
- Is there an eyepatch?
- Oh yeah, absolutely.
I pull out one that looks identical
but slightly shinier than
the one that Fabian has.
It doesn't have any powers
It just looks cool.
- So cool!
- And I think Gorgug's
also trying to grab like,
driftwood and stuff so he
can try to make a cell tower.
- Oh actually, we have a minute.
Can I- hang on.
Cast-
- You know what?
I think I wanna talk to you
guys. Sorry, cast what you want.
- Actually, Adaine in
real life, in game life,
is looking through her spell
books trying to find this.
- Yep.
- While you're on the roof so.
- You know what, I...
- Can I conjure
some minor elementals?
- Sure, you begin casting.
It takes a minute to cast.
- I just wanted to say, and
no one else can hear me,
but I feel like they'll hear kinda like,
the vibe of what I'm saying
but like, you know, Gorgug,
like, we aren't gonna be good
at our first relationships.
Like, I've messed up so
many times with Tracker and-
- You guys...
- Yeah!
- Seem really good.
- Yeah, yeah, but it took a lot, you know?
I mean, it's just like-
- You guys talk about 69ing and stuff.
- Yeah, and it took a long time to.
At first I wouldn't talk about it at all.
And then I did a hard swing the other way.
Is it, I want this to count
as an Inspiring Speech
to give everyone temp hit points.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- Okay.
- I saw you the other
day. It was like a playing card.
- Oh, what's that?
- Just like a, you know, you
ever seen a playing card?
It has a head at the top
and a head at the bottom.
- Yeah, that was us. Totally.
- I didn't mean to see that.
- Yeah, I mean, we did talk
about you doing that in the van
and you did say that
you weren't gonna do it.
And just because it's a
boat doesn't mean that-
- I mean, listen, everyone.
I didn't come up here to be shamed.
I actually came up here to-
- I'm not-
- Release us all from that shame.
- shaming you. I'm just like,
holding you to your word.
- I just, look,
it was a private s'more pouch-
- Public.
- And...
- S'more?
- It's gonna get pretty
inspiring soon, I'm pretty sure.
- Don't worry. Here comes
the inspiring part, okay?
We watched relationships
on TV and we're like,
"I'm sure when I get
there, I'm gonna nail it,
'cause I've been obsessing
about having someone to kiss
for my whole life."
And then you get there and
you're really bad at it.
And you just keep being bad at it.
- Is that a thing
that you've been obsessed
with your whole life?
- Yeah. Having someone
to love? Definitely.
- Oh, right. Yeah.
- What?
- What?
- Oh, well, maybe not
everyone, but me specifically,
always wanted it to happen
and, whew, it finally did.
And Tracker's had other relationships
so she's got a lot more
stuff figured out than me.
There's still a lot of things
that I'm really not good at.
Like, did you know for her
birthday I got her a toy?
I got her like...
- You got her-
- It's this fun putty-
- Like a car?
- That you can put on a newspaper.
- And then it comes off and
it looks like the newspaper.
- Yeah, and her birthday was
on our one-year anniversary
so I thought, "I just
have to get one gift."
- Combo gift.
- It's the same day.
- No! Nobody likes a combo gift.
- But she didn't really like the...
I just kinda still feel
like maybe she still-
- Did she get how it works?
You put it right on the newspaper.
- You put it right on
the news- and it's like,
you could throw that newspaper away, baby,
'cause you got it permanently here.
- You got a putty newspaper.
- It's like, babe!
- But you'd have to read it in a mirror.
- What?
- What?
- Oh, the Hangman!
- Oh, I'm up here on the roof too.
- Oh yeah.
- You couldn't just read
it right off the putty.
It would be backwards. You'd
have to read it in a mirror.
- Yeah, totally!
- That putty rules.
It's really good.
- Yeah, thank you so much!
- Can I see if I
found enough driftwood
to make a cell tower?
- Yeah, give me a roll with disadvantage.
- Maybe some
putty would help that.
- Is this the "Are
you my dad?" of this season?
this putty?
- Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
- Oh, hello!
- Intelligence.
- Okay.
- Do you guys think
there's any way he's gonna-
- 15.
- let you do it without like a 30?
- Hey, 15. You find, coming
out of Adaine's jacket, a pipe.
If you get a couple
thousand more of these,
you'll be in business, baby.
- Let's get this started.
- Adaine, you finish conjuring elementals.
What kind of elementals do you summon?
- I'm thinking, I mean,
we're in the water,
so is there some kind of like
a thunder/lightning situation?
- Yeah, you could do like-
- Sorry, I had a sheet
and I can't find it.
Oh, here it is right here.
- Everyone has 11
temp hit points, by the way.
- Amazing.
- If you wanna add that to your sheets.
- Ooh, even me, downstairs?
- Yeah, I think it would count
for the whole party, right?
- Poison and fire...
- I'll take it.
- Inspiring Speech?
- Yes.
- Or is it just anyone who hears it?
- Yes, yes, yes.
- You guys can all take that 11 temp HP.
- Sorry, this is not as useful
as I thought it might be.
Poison, fire...
- Probably the best
thing you could do here
would be like steam mephits.
- Great. Yeah, let's do that.
- So you guys see cresting
off of the sea-foam
(mimics ocean water
swishing) a group of four
little, skinny, impish with-
they have long pointed
noses and long pointed chins
and these little pointy ears.
Impish, they're made out
of sea-foam and vapor,
fly
up and circle around Adaine.
- Hi, can you keep watch for us, please?
Thank you so much.
How do I make you look like cheerleaders?
My sister was so good at this.
- Rah, rah! Rah!
- They're cheerleaders. It
looks like they're cheerleaders.
- Yeah, okay, we'll work on it.
- I think they're cuter this way.
I'm not there, though.
- Rah, rah!
- So have you not
talked to your sister
at all since homecoming?
- No, she's in prison, I think.
I don't know.
- Yeah,
but you can still definitely
talk to people in prison.
- In Fallinel? I don't know.
- Huh.
- Also, just to remind you,
she's not a good person.
I don't even know if she would
want to talk to me, honestly.
- Yeah, I just feel
like once we get there,
you're probably the one who's
gonna have to go talk to her.
- As night falls, Adaine, you
don't have to trance at all.
You have these little mephits
that are flying around.
You see they sort of circle
around the van going...
- You know, we didn't have to
make them cheerleaders though.
- I wake up. What?
- Everyone's awake the whole night.
- What's all that
clapping? Who's clapping?
- I'm gonna need Wisdom saves
from Gorgug and Kristen and Adaine.
You may roll with advantage, Gorgug.
- What about the Bardic Inspiration?
- And whoever has Bardic Inspiration.
- I mean, I kinda just
gave it to all this.
- I think you gave it to all three.
- Yeah, all of you guys can add-
- Can I roll with advantage with Boggy?
- Yes, you may, yes.
- Great.
- Definitely use that Bardic.
- Thank goodness.
- What is Bardic, an eight?
- You roll a d8.
- Oh yeah, an eight.
- Hell, yeah.
- 22.
- 22, okay.
- A dirty 20.
- Dirty 20.
- What's the DC?
- Well, I won't tell you the DC,
but go ahead and tell me what you roll.
- Okay.
- Interesting...
Okay, I'm using Human
Determination to roll-
- Cool, cool.
- With advantage on this.
Okay, good!
This is a Wisdom?
- Yeah, Wisdom saving throw.
- Very cool. Okay yeah, that's 26.
- Oh, damn. Great.
An uneventful night passes.
- Great.
- The mephits keep you all awake.
I wish I could say that
day comes the next day.
- Oh.
- But it kind of doesn't.
- Mm-mm.
- Not thick, but like, drizzling rain,
the kind which is just
enough to churn up the sea
and create a dense, thick
layer of fog comes over you.
It is cold as you journey
further south and east
out into the Celestine Sea.
You can see fog (mimics
wind rushing) rise up,
and it's not super opaque.
You could probably see like
60 to 100 feet out into it.
But when you're used to seeing
the horizon, 60 to 100 feet
feels like you can't see
anything at all, right?
And you venture out into the ocean.
As you guys awaken, you see
that the van comes on and says,
"All right. Morning, broskis and siskies.
Just wanted to give a holler
'cause I've been fiddly-iddly-in' around
with these readers and
odometers and whatnot,
and it looks like there's somethin'
on one of these doodads,
like a radar or something like that?"
- Mm-hmm.
- Sick.
- Oh, cool.
- That's cool.
- Definitely, let's turn that on.
- Like for whales and submarines?
- Oh, like sonar!
I could
probably do whale song!
- You're doing it!
- Don't do it too good
'cause we don't want a school of whales
attacking the ship.
- Or do we?
Oh, attacking? Yeah.
- Fabian,
give me a Perception check with advantage.
- I believe it's a pod of whales.
- We're gonna go- Perception?
- Yeah.
- Oh, that's an 11.
- Oh no, you get a, you rolled a 17.
- I rolled a 16.
- You look down into the
water where it's clearer,
and you see the water
churning with sharks.
- Hm, interesting.
- And you see that the
sharks are all moving.
And you can see cross waves.
So, like, there is something
causing the water to move
not only with the tide.
Something is competing with the tide
to create changes in the sea.
- A ghost ship!
- No. That would be incredible, but-
- Night Yorb.
- No-
- How many f*cking times do I gotta say
speak not of the Night Yorb?
- I believe-
- You see the van speaks up and goes,
"Seriously, I am not an angry dude.
You gotta f*cking stop with
that Night Yorb stuff, man.
It's not a joke. Me and the
Hangman don't agree on a lot.
You gotta can it with that
Night Yorb stuff, man."
- What is it? So we see
rippling in the water?
- Do we think it's Garthy O'Brien?
- I think we're approaching Leviathan.
I'd like to climb up on top of the van.
- Fabian, you climb up on top of the van.
You look up into the fog
and you guys begin to see
that night is setting again.
And then you realize night
is not setting again at all.
Towering over you in the fog
is the darkness of a ship.
But you see this ship is
pushed up out of the water.
And it moves forward
like it's not sinking.
It's almost directly at a 90-degree angle,
surging up out of the depths.
And you see behind it is
another ship and another,
a colossus of ships
lashed and wrapped together,
towering up into the sky.
You hear the call of gulls,
the jangling of music.
You hear cries and see the vastness
of not just a ship nor a fleet,
but a city sailing on
the surface of the waves.
You look in front of you.
And Fabian, you turn to
look and see behind you,
it looms as well.
Each moving past you.
Suddenly you realize,
you are surrounded on
either side by the city.
Stuck in the middle of the sea as two,
let's call them what they are,
neighborhoods of shipwrecks,
hodgepodge and quilted together,
move past you on either
side and eclipse you
as they move in the same direction.
And you realize that the bulk of the city
is not to your right nor to your left,
but the bulk of the
city is coming up behind
in the pincher of these two
arms that are swallowing you up.
And as you turn to the third direction
from whence these shapes are coming,
you see approaching you (mimics
ocean whipping) white froth
and something swallowing the ocean up.
You hear laughter and lashes and you hear,
"Get ready, me hearties!
It looks like the city's
hungry for another meal."
And that's where we're
going to stop this week.
- Oh, feels good.
- No!
- This week, on "Dimension 20 LIVE."
Tune in next week as we
meet Leviathan herself.
Also, if you guys would like,
check out, we have many
seasons of Dimension 20
You can go check that out. We
got a bunch of awesome merch.
We got Boggy shirts. We
have this from last week.
Roemaence Partnaer shirts,
which you can have if you like.
- Roemaence Partnaer!
- So go check out our merch store
where all this awesome stuff is.
And make sure to stay tuned next week
when we continue the
adventure of the Bad Kids.
See you next time, Intrepid Heroes!
- Oh, I can't wait.
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07x04 - Heartache on the Celestine Sea
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.