- Hello and welcome back to
Dimension 20 Live presents
Fantasy High, Sophomore Year.
I am your humble Dungeon
Master Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me as always are our intrepid heroes.
Say hi intrepid heroes!
- Hi intrepid heroes!
- Holy moly, all right guys,
a little bit of housekeeping.
We're feeling rowdy here tonight.
We're full of beans as you might say.
- They don't know what that means!
- I know, it's so rude
to put an inside joke
from before we went live.
- We're not gonna tell
you, it's an inside joke.
- We'll put clues in the
Discord three years from today.
- I have dice that are full of beans.
- Dice that are full of beans.
- Murph is obsessed with
his new little bean dice,
and we're all like please
stop talking about it.
- Housekeeping.
Guys, a couple things.
And number one, Tiny Heist comes out at
midnight pacific tonight, episode five,
there's only two more
episodes of Tiny Heist.
Also, Dropout is alive and kickin'!
You can sign up for it,
and you can get 25% off your first month
of Dropout with the promo code,
Tiny Heist.
- Little beans.
- Not little beans,
that's not the promo code.
The promo code is Tiny Heist.
- I'm sorry, Murph's little beans.
- You get 25% off Murph with
the promo code lil' beans.
- You can buy Murph in the merch store!
- Everybody relax.
- It's too rowdy for Murph.
Now, and finally,
guys our wonderful Sophomore Year game,
our ongoing Twitch game,
we're gonna add some
premiumness on these episodes
because we're going to
announce that there are
including tonight, only
eight episodes left.
- Oh, yeah.
- March, I believe 28th is
going to be our last episode,
of Sophomore, March 25th
is going to be our last
episode of Sophomore Year.
So the story is pacing up.
It's getting intense.
We're coming up on the
thrilling conclusion.
Tell your friends, tell your loved ones,
tell the crew at home to tune in—
- Reach out to your estranged parents
and tell them to watch
Dimension 20 Live on Twitch.
- Marketing has told us that we score
incredibly high with estranged parents.
So please, that's a market,
- Mom, dad,
- I sent a text.
- If you're listening,
- Dad, I know we haven't
talked in awhile but uh,
Sophomore Year is coming to a close.
- Sophomore Year is coming to a close.
Last we left off, our intrepid heroes
were in Arborly.
The village of Arborly which borders
the forest of the Nightmare King.
The Bad Kids, a group of teen heroes
from the Aguefort Adventuring Academy
in the nation of Solace
in the world of Spyre
are doing their high school for heroes
spring break big project which is
retrieving the lost crown
of the Nightmare King
which was stolen from Principal
Arthur Aguefort's office
previous year, freshman year.
The quest has brought
them to the pirate city
of Leviathan, the Elven
nation of Fallinel,
and now they are in the lee
of the forest of the Nightmare King
in the small Gnomish
and Wood Elf community
of Arborly hidden in tall
and tangled misty trees
in the wake of a massive wall of briars.
Our wonderful Bad Kids
had a crustacean themed
impromptu rager in the summer home
of gnomish music executive
Grover Tillythatch.
Crab King, shrimp tub
- A little shrimp.
- Lil' shrimp.
They also met Mira Silverbow,
a leader of the Wood Elf Rangers here,
and the leader of Arborly,
an ancient fox named Nuathera.
Gorgug, Ragh, and Fabian rushed off to
the Tinkerer's Hall to investigate there
along with the Hangman.
Hoot growl, hoot growl,
the jocks all went there.
Adaine and Riz, Nerd Squad headed over to
- Nerd Squad?
- The Owl and the Harp.
- They gotta name now?
- To bumble through an interaction with
with a bartender and then get up to
an arcane crimes scene in the
room of Arianwen Abernant.
And Sandra Lynn on her griffin dropped off
Kristen, Tracker, and Fig
over the Shrine of Thorns
where they discovered a mural
of ancient unnamed goddess,
and a portal to hell was opened.
And Fig was served a subpoena.
I think that's pretty much everything
that happened last week.
Am I forgetting anything?
- As far as Adaine knows yes.
- As far as Adaine and Gorgug—
- I get the feeling that
there's something else though
like something,
- You had crab there was crab.
- I don't know.
- There was some good crab.
- Oh, there was shrimp in the hot tub.
But then there was something right before
- We gave Gilear an outfit.
- Gilear was trapped in the
well wheel of the Hangvan.
Also, a tender romance blossomed
- Wait, what?
- Between
Figueroth Faeth and the
Mistress of the Compass Points,
Ayda Aguefort who revealed
- But Fig is so closed off.
- Revealed their feelings for one another
in the shadow of the briar wall.
- Fig was in disguise though, right?
- No, Fig was not in disguise
as either a middle-aged hospital worker
or a middle-aged detective.
- Was Fig able to skateboard away?
- At first, but she quickly stopped
after pulling a sick trick.
- Stop, stop no way!
- You know, some things are almost
too strange to believe.
So, that's our recap for last week.
This week we leave with the Bad Kids
moving throughout
Arborly with the leave of
Nuathera the fox, having
gone to various places
to collect various clues.
We are going to go ahead
and begin our adventure,
and restart this new chapter.
Back at the Tinkerer's Hall.
Within the Tinkerer's Hall,
massive gears turn around,
bubbling beakers of different
brightly colored liquids
go next to like weird accordion flaps
that are pumping strange brass pipes
like thoomp, thoomp, thoomp, thoomp.
- Rickatic-tic-tic-tic a
lot of clockwork things.
A little clockwork chittering toy
bounces off a desk somewhere
and a bunch of gnomes in leather aprons
with wrenches and gizmos and gadgets
jump to try to grab it.
And Fabian, Gorgug, and Ragh are
introduced to the Tinkerer's Hall
by the Head Tinkerer, Krumpkin Springbill.
A jolly, rotund, bushy
mustached, goggle wearing,
soot-covered gnome which says,
"Well, we're happy to help
you all around there gents.
"What is there anything I can do for you?"
- Well, I think we covered
a lot of it last week,
but I was just thinking
earlier, right before this,
- Mere moments ago.
- Mr. Krumpkin Springbill,
can I call you Mr. Krumpkin?
Or Krumpkin?
- "Please, if you like
you can call me Krumpkin."
- I'm looking at these
boots that make you bounce,
and I would love to just
take a gander at them and—
- "Would you like us to put some, what?"
- I love the design.
- "Yeah well, h*,
A Solesian artificer likes my
design can you believe, Polly?
You see, he elbows the gnomish woman
who's got like ornithopter,
elbows her a little bit and she goes,
"I can't believe it either!"
And her wings sprung out as she is elbowed
and she peew, "Ahhh!"
Flies up into the corner of the workshop.
He says, "Look out, oh,
that's where we stacked
"all the old pots and pans.
"All right, well, we'd be happy
"to load your boots up
with springs if you want.
"Do you want springs in
your jerkin or your tunic
"or your breeches or anything else?"
- Um, you guys good on springs?
How many springs are you looking for?
- I think we're good on springs.
- Ragh, you good on springs?
- Could I just have a loose one?
- I could ask them about it.
- Yeah, just like a loose one.
- Could we get one
loose spring, and I would
love some springs in my boot.
- Gorgug, is this what we here for?
Are we here to get springs in your boots?
- This is not necessarily
exactly what we're here for,
but I'm here for some springs in my boots.
- Okay, fair.
- And then if you have anything like
something that could shock somebody back,
you know, spare the dying maybe?
- As you begin to elaborate the kind of
effects you're looking for,
the gnomes begin to come through,
and happily having Nuathera
had come by and said,
"Any resources these adventurers need,
"they're going to go reclaim
the crown of the Nightmare King."
They get to work right away
just putting all your stuff together.
And you see that as you step away,
two young gnomish twins that have,
they have like they're
not the tall conical hats,
they're a little bit of a shallower cone,
but they each have a
little tuft on a spring
that bobbles around like
pull your chucks off
and rush off to go put springs in them.
So you're kind of walking
around with socks right now.
- My feet are sweaty.
- Put shoes on.
- I don't have another
pair of shoes, Fabian.
- You don't have two pairs of shoes?
- Not on me.
How many pairs of shoes
do you have on you?
- Here with me, or just in general?
- Both, I guess.
- In general somewhere between 250 and 312
depending on how many
have been thrown away
or given away to the children.
And then on me, I mean I have—
- You give your shoes
to little tiny children?
- Well, I have smaller feet,
and I believe the children also—
- Woah, look at those little things.
- All right now, all right now.
- I've never really looked
at your feet before.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, all right
everyone please step away from my feet.
- Can we roll a D6 to
see how big his feet are?
- No.
- How big are his feet?
Roll it!
- Five, size fives.
- He wears a size five shoe.
- Well, I have delicate feet, all right?
My father had small feet,
and I also have small feet.
My mother's feet are
relatively average size.
You know, I'm lithe and dextrous, and—
- I wear a size 19 shoe.
- That's three of my shoes in your shoe.
- I got big feet, I'm a half orc.
- Ragh, what are you packin'?
- What am I packin, dude?
- Foot-wise.
- Foot-wise?
What are you packin' into that shoe.
- I got a size 171/2.
- Solid, solid.
- It's a good, honestly,
it's actually considerate
that Gorgug wears canvas
sneakers 'cause like
even with just like a pretty flat shoe,
I trip over, like one time
you left your shoes out
when they got wet outside of the van,
and they're huge.
You could like really trip over them
if you're walking around
in the dark, it's bad.
You see that Krumpkin
walks over to you and says,
"Wow, oh, you mentioned you wanted to know
"what that Wood Elf
Killian was coming by for.
"We're happy, we have a
log book of everything here
"if you'd like to take a look."
- Oh yeah, that would be great if we could
check that out.
- They slam a big log
book down in front of you.
Each of you guys go ahead
and make an investigate check for me.
- Gorgug, can you do most of the reading?
I am just—
- I'll give it a,
- Yes, that'll, I got a nat one.
- I got a 19 minus one, 18.
- Whoa, okay!
So Fabian, you look at this ledger book
that has shorthand for
all the alchemical goods
that have been bought and sold and used
and stuff here, like an inventory.
You look at the numbers and
letters fully just like bloop,
just turn into sludge on
the page in front of you.
You're like, "That's nothing to me.
"I refuse to engage with that."
- I see that there's writing in the book.
- Yeah, classic log book, right?
- Classic log book.
What did you find?
- Well?
- You actually, with an
18, you move through there
and you see a ton of stuff here.
A bunch of magnesium,
antimony, and mercury
was all bought by this Wood Elf, Killion,
which are all used in the creation
of various magical candles
and other kind of things.
You also see that two,
- Timony, like timony square?
- What's that?
- Sorry.
- There also were two big blocks
of dusk moss incense
that were checked out.
Dusk moss, with an investigation,
with an 18 investigation, I have to say
that you know what dusk moss is.
It's not something that you would learn
from working with your parents,
it's actually something that
some kids do at Aguefort.
It's a hallucinogenic moss.
Basically, it puts you into a state of
lucid dreaming so that
you are able to both
be kind of conscious in the waking world,
but also having a lucid dream
experience at the same time.
But you're looking at these blocks,
you've never seen a block of dusk moss.
Like normally it's like
either a small dry powder,
it's in a little baggie or something.
Like you know some kids that
do dusk moss back at Aguefort.
This also says dusk moss incense,
which you're unfamiliar
with what that is or does.
- Krumpkin?
- "Yeah?"
- What's going on with,
well first off,
could I purchase the exact
same things as this person?
- "Well, absolutely, but
it'll run ya a pretty penny."
- How much?
- "Well, all that put together,
it was about 350 gold."
- Okay.
- Check your golds before
you give them over.
- Check your coin before
you give them over.
- I uh, Gorgug looks at his coins.
- That's a big bunch of gold coins.
- Okay, you don't have like detect magic
or anything right?
Is there any way to tell
if a coin is special?
- I mean, I can rub it in my blanket but
that's about it.
- Can you rub these 350
coins in your blanket?
- Can I rub my blanket on—
- On the coins?
- Yeah.
- Give me an arcana check.
- Get a nat 20, just really f*ck this up.
Uh, nope.
That'll be a seven.
- Okay.
Or no, a nine.
- A nine?
You rub your blanket
why are you laughing?
You don't know what I'm gonna say yet.
- It's also a sheet, I apologize.
It's not a blanket.
- You rub your blanket on the coins,
there is a lull.
Suddenly you perceive
a pile of gold coins.
- So these are the coins.
- You see that Krumpkin takes it.
You see that,
what you see was Krumpkin
taking the coins,
he says, "What," you see
that he gives you a bunch
of antimony, mercury, magnesium,
he says, "and do you want
the dusk moss as well?"
- Whoa.
- All right, Gorgug
gets really shy I think.
- Don't you wanna get dusk moss?
- Yeah.
- "Okay, I gotta warn you,
you're getting two blocks.
"These blocks are set up as incense.
"So it's very, very powerful.
"And once it's lit you can't"
- Unlight it?
- "Unlight it."
It's gonna, the whole block's gonna go.
- That's the same stuff that the kids
do in the parking lot?
- I think, I don't know,
I've never really tried it before but—
- Me neither, are we gonna?
- I don't know, I think
we should get what he got
just in case it's useful, all right?
- Okay yeah no, great idea.
- Is this a bad idea?
I'm starting to sweat a lot.
- Just do it, just go, let's just do it.
- We'll take four.
- "Okay, that's going to be another
"about that's gonna be
another 1.200 gold pieces."
- Wow, how is it that much more?
- A block?
- That's quadrupled!
- You see that he puts a block out.
A block is about like
this big in front of you.
So it's kinda,
- Oh no, we'll take the two.
- "Okay, that'll be 600."
- Okay, uh, all right.
- I thought it was 320.
- "Oh, for the alchemical supplies, yes."
- I see.
- "The dusk moss is not
really an alchemical.
"I mean, anything's an alchemical supply
"depending on what you're trying to do,
"but the dusk moss incense is not really,
"it doesn't have as many general uses
"as the other alchemical things."
- Does it do the same thing as just
regular dusk moss, if
you know what I mean?
- "Oh, oh, oh, oh yeah,
boy howdy, it really does."
- If you're new to dusk moss,
what would you say, dosage wise?
We're just trying to have like a fun day.
- "I haven't done dusk
moss in a long time.
"My brother, he swears by the stuff.
"He says that everybody
should do dusk moss once.
"But,
"you know, it can be intense.
"It depends.
"Some people, you know,
wanna take a little bit
"at a time, and it just
kinda evens them out
"and then other people, but normally a
"I would say about maybe
a quarter of a teaspoon
"of the stuff is enough to send you on
"an enormous trip for
pretty much the whole day."
- Of this, like a quarter
of a teaspoon of this block?
Like if you just took a little bit?
- "Oh, you can shave it off into a powder,
"and that powder, about
a quarter of a teaspoon
"will be enough for you."
- Um,
- okay.
- Well, we'd definitely,
- We'd love, we need it.
- We need the two blocks.
- "You seem really nervous."
- Which is, I we're not.
We're totally, we do this all the time.
We love dusk moss.
- Dusk moss.
- Dusk moss.
- We just, we love dusk moss.
- We love dusk moss.
- Cool, you see,
- Mushr-ooms.
- You see he says, "All right,
great, so it's 600 gold."
- Okay.
- Okay.
I'll help.
- Ragh, you see that Ragh grabs your hand
really quick before you give him the money
and says, "You a cop?"
And you see that he goes, "What?"
"You police?"
And then Krumpkin says, "What's police?"
- It's like the law, are you the law?
- "No, the law here is basically just
"the Council of Elders,
Nuathera, and Mira Silverbough."
- Is anyone gonna get really
mad at me if I do the dusk moss?
That lives here?
- "Why would that happen?"
- You see that Ragh grabs
both of your arms and says,
"I think drugs are legal here."
- What?
- What, no way.
- "I think drugs, I don't think they have,
"I don't think there's laws
about this stuff here."
- Okay, great.
- Great.
- Then we should not be so worried, right?
- Let's buy a bunch of drugs.
And let it be like a normal day.
- We'll just by the legal drugs.
We're just gonna buy the legal drugs.
- Buy legal drugs, there's
nothing to be scared about.
- This is literally me
when I moved to Amsterdam.
- The thing is it's okay
that we're doing it.
- It's so okay like we
don't need to feel bad.
- We honestly aren't worried.
- Yeah, no, though I did hear a story
about a guy who once did dusk moss
while he was wearing a hat,
and now he always feels
like he's wearing the hat
even when he's not wearing the hat.
So I'm not sure I want
to do dusk moss, but—
- That's fine, that's fine.
If you don't want to do dusk moss.
Look, I'll take the
two pounds of dusk moss
and we'll be on our way.
- "Okay, well fair enough.
"Do you wanna wait around for your shoes?"
- Yeah.
So someone gives 600 gold pieces,
whoever wants to can
mark that off your card.
- I'll give 300.
- Right, I'll take 300 as well.
- You get these two huge bricks.
You can feel the weight of these
ill*gal drugs in your bags.
You don't know how you're going to
get back to Solace with these
or what could potentially
happen as a result of it.
Cool,
while you're waiting
around for your shoes,
you see that two of the
artificers come over
two of the tinkerer gnomes.
You see the one of them is the woman
with the sort of ornithopter thing.
You see that another one
has like a huge mustachio
with a little top hat
with gears on the side,
and they both bow and
present your shoes to you.
That now these are thick
rubbery soles in them.
She says, "Well, hello,
my name's Polly Pullypad,"
and you see that the other guy says,
"Osmond Wobbletrouble, pleasure."
- Hello, I'm Gorgug Thistlespring,
I thank you and bow.
- "And we thank you."
- We, of course thank you.
- "In exchange for these
spring coiled sneakers
"of bounding, would it be possible for us
"to examine your crystal?"
- Uh yeah, yeah, if that's
an easy trade to me.
- "Yes, just to examine."
- Gnomes heap and pile,
looking at your crystal
under various ways of like
examining it and trying to find it.
You see that as you begin to like
watch them tinker and
gadget around with it,
you see they sort of look and they say,
"And what is the purpose of this device?"
- Well, it's for a lot of things,
but mostly kinda connecting to other
people in the world.
It's a way you can send
little messages to each other,
and can get on the crystal
web on it, and uh—
- "Wow!"
- Yeah, there's crystal games.
- "Could you show us?
"Could you send a message to
someone else in this room?"
- Right now we don't have service
because we're too far away from our home.
So it's kinda not working.
- "Well, I,
"well, too bad."
And you see that they sort
of give you the crystal back.
- You don't have a way to make a
cell tower here, do you?
- "A cell tower?"
- Sort of like a way to
boost a signal for something?
- "Boost?"
- Possibly the signal from this?
- "Huh, well, that's a
rather interesting thing.
"So you have a signal and you need it
"boosted up to a higher place?"
- Yes.
- Cool.
The gnomes begin to say, "Well, this is
"a rather interesting problem.
"Can you explain a little bit about this?"
They start babbling together.
Go ahead and make a
tinkerer's tool check with me
with advantage as these
gnomes seek to help you.
- Okay.
Uh, 19.
- 19.
As you start talking about all the,
you know, they're talking about like
you start explaining loosely like
how a cell tower works, and energy—
- So, of course,--
- "Oh, fascinating."
And you see it, they sort of look around.
And you begin to explain
the connection between like
signals from the crystals
will go to a cell tower,
that cell tower will go to satellites,
and then from satellites
go down to another thing,
and it will go somewhere else.
And you see that the gnomes look around
and you see that Osmond
Wobbletrouble says,
"It's a pity, the whole thing,
"because of course we
"simply lack the raw
materials to build something
"of this size that a
cell tower would need.
"It would be a different sort of thing
"if you had access to,
"if we could somehow just adjust the phone
"to interact, to skip the middle man
"and not need a cell tower at all."
And you see that Polly goes,
"Yes, of course, but then of course,
"you'd need a, you know—"
And Osmond goes, "Right, right, right,
"you would need a direct connection.
"You would need the
information of one of these
"satellites to be able to do that,
"and we don't have that, so—"
- What are you saying?
If I jumped into the sky and—
- What?
No, no
- Grab a satellite?
- I don't think they're saying that,
I mean I've—
- How high are these
boots capable of bouncing?
- You see, Krumpkin goes,
"Well, we can double
"the amount of springs and
maybe you can get to space."
- Gorgug, there's not enough,
there's no amount of springs,
- Don't jump into space.
- There's truly no amount of springs
that could jump you into space.
- Okay.
- You see that Krumpkin says,
"The issue fundamentally is
"we would need
"building a cell tower we could do,
"but it would just take a lot of time.
"So if you have time, we'd be happy to
"try to build one for you."
- We only have a couple
of days, really, max.
- They sort of nod.
And you see that Krumpkin
says, "Otherwise,
"if there was a way to have a,
"if we somehow could, if
we knew of a satellite
"that we could use to connect
"your phone directly
to it, that could work.
"But we don't have that, so unfortunately,
"what are you gonna do?"
- Well, satellite is just the thing
that has all the,
in this equation,
- Just kick a rock into space.
- We just need to put
something into space?
Is that what you're saying?
- Give me a raw,
this is gonna be a raw DC10 intelligence.
- Could I give him a help action somehow?
- Yeah, you can give him,
or you can give him bardic.
- I'll give you bardic.
- Which is a?
- D6 in my case.
- Oh, it's okay.
- Gorgug, I believe in you.
Spring break.
- Spring break.
- Spring break.
- Oh.
- I rolled a 12, thanks to that bardic.
- Thanks to that bardic.
You feel the power of Fabian's
support and care for you,
- Spring break, spring break.
- and Fabian's support and care for you
makes you think about
your parents' support and care for you.
Your parents had a little project
back last year in freshman year
where you were in jail.
Do you remember what that project was?
- Hmm.
- They launched a satellite into space.
- Oh, wait a second.
So you're saying, wait,
I might have access to a satellite.
- "Really?"
- How do I now get in touch
with a satellite from here?
- "Well, your phone does have the ability
"to transmit signals.
"If we just boosted the power on it,
"and we just need the
information of the satellite
"basically, to be able to,
"I guess gear into your phone
"the ability to communicate
with that other thing."
- Okay, well I start
looking through my crystal
just through my texts to my parents and—
- You see them with a picture of them
giving double thumbs up.
The van has been tipped over
so that it's resting on it's nose
with like the back doors open,
and you see that they are
launching the satellite
out of the back of the van.
And you see, there's a bunch of papers
and a little mobile desk shoved into the
glove box of the van.
So it looks like a bunch of their research
might still be in the van.
- We gotta go to the van.
I'll be right back.
- You tear off to go get
stuff out of the van.
Fabian and Ragh, do you
stay in the Tinkerer's Hall?
- Absolutely-
With all these weird little men and women?
No thank you.
Ragh, let's go.
- Conclusion, you've been weird.
Men and women—
- I apologize, people, uh—
- You guys rush off.
- Weird little,
- We are on the top floor
of the Owl and Harp.
Riz and Adaine
I picture a quick montage of like
gloves going on the hands,
auras being released.
- Snap.
- Tell me what you guys are trying
to do in this room.
- Can I make an arcana check?
- Yes, go for it.
Again, blood spattered, candles burned
all the way down to the bottom,
drawing up on the wall,
arcane runes and stuff.
You see clear signs,
go ahead and make an
arcana check actually.
- Boo, 12, no 14.
- 14.
So 14, you only get the
kind of basics of it.
Which are clear non-detection runes,
it looks like your mom
was keeping herself off the grid
of elves looking for her.
The sort of simplest stuff that you find,
you know that there were two
rituals that happened here.
One ritual involved k*lling Killian,
and the other involved
putting the gem into his body.
Putting the Devil's Heart into his body
with Gorthalax trapped in it.
- Then I guess I want to
do an investigate check
to see if I can figure
out how to do the ritual.
- Okay, go ahead and
give me an investigation.
- See if I can backwards engineer it.
20, dirty.
- A dirty 20.
So you're trying to figure out
it seems like details about the ritual
and how it works, right?
- Yeah, and I think I'm also,
I'd love to figure out a way to do it
without k*lling someone.
- Cool.
You start looking at this.
Immediately what becomes clear to you
is that this ritual is not
about getting into Sylvaire.
There are many ways to get into Sylvaire.
But you just need infernal authority
to be able to pass the barrier.
This is not about anything other than
getting the Shadow Cat into Sylvaire.
It's like a way of,
it's not clear if she was
barred from entering Sylvaire,
but it seems like this was a way to
bypass needing to get permission
from an infernal authority.
Because the whole purpose of this ritual
is getting the Shadow Cat to commandeer
the authority of a devil without
their blessing or consent.
- Got it.
- You see a familiar word here,
in a lot of this,
I'm actually gonna ask for a
medicine check as well, if I can.
- Oh!
- Not great, let's see.
- Ay!
- Whoa.
- Dirty 20.
- Dirty 20, incredible, great.
- Hell yeah.
- You see a familiar word, petrosmosis
which is the word that Ragh
pointed out to you before
that he learned from
his mom's medical stuff.
What Ragh had explained
to you back in Fallinel
was basically petrosmosis is
a body's ability to start having
elements of the magical gem within it
permeate organic membrane.
It's basically a fancy word for
the process by which a magical gemstone
and an organic body
become one whole organism.
And the ability for spirit,
like for example, with
with Lydia, Ragh's mom,
her soul is constantly
fighting the soul of the
thing within that gem,
but it's not doing it
on a spiritual plane,
it's doing it through
the literal blood work
and rage of her body.
It's like it needs that physical conduit
to be able to do it.
What you see is those
old notes from Fallinel
that are all about how
to get it into her hands,
how to get something into Kalina's hands.
And what you now know from
the interaction you had
on the lawn in the Lake of Grass
is Kalina doesn't f*cking
have hands, anywhere.
So it's gotta be a symbolic
or metaphorical thing.
When you look at that petrosmosis stuff,
you suddenly see,
there is an osmosis of blood to gem
that would allow Kalina to actually
move into and commandeer
something within that gem.
So like the only way to get
something into her hands
is to get the gem to petrosmos
with somebody who is infected.
- Okay.
- Right?
So all of this seems like a way of like,
so you also figure out from that
that Killian had to have been infected.
- Right.
- You also, with that
dirty 20 medical thing
see a lot of
- Go off.
- See a lot of medical diagrams
that are extremely old.
These are not like modern
Solesian medical charts.
This is not like the stuff that Fig
would have found in the hospital
when she was visiting Dr. Asha.
- Right.
- It's like old school pictures of like,
I found a blood vessel, I think.
- Yeah, exactly.
Like, vellum grave-robber
style old school medical stuff.
You see that there is,
and this is written in like a
character based language.
It might be either like
Centaur or something else.
- Oh, I have, I can—
- Do you comprehend languages?
- Yeah, I have comprehend
languages, which is a ritual.
- You cast comprehend languages,
and immediately can start reading
this other language stuff.
So this is all extremely,
once you point out the medical diagram
this all becomes extremely clear.
There are a lot of characters here
that for lack of a better word
are almost like emoji.
They're hieroghlyphs, they're
pictograms of information.
- Well, we're teens so we understand that.
- Exactly.
Very easy to understand.
What you see is it's
a medical diagram of a
centaur that has a
an illustration of a dismembered body.
And you see that there are
these like dark, very
scary looking cat symbols.
There's one of them right behind the eyes,
there's another one on the tongue.
You see that there's one deep up
in like the sinuses or
something like right here.
And then you see that there is
another one in the central spine.
You do not see any within the brain.
And you see that the brain is something
that has been really
taken apart and looked at.
So those are the medical
diagrams that you see,
and there are within the pictograms
there's a lot of things where
that little cat symbol is something
that they're referring to the disease by.
So it's basically like, "We
found the infection here,
"here, here," it's like an X
marks the spot style thing.
Uh, buh, buh, buh.
You know with that 20 investigate
you know that the ritual
happened 24 hours apart,
so the ritual to k*ll
Killian and the other one
which means either that
Aelwyn and Arianwen left
like while you guys were
here on the first night.
- Goddammit.
- Or, that Arianwen somehow knew
to do the ritual and k*ll Killian
like the moment you guys rescued Aelwyn.
Other than that,
- Can I do an investigation check
to see if there's like
a ripped piece of diary
saying, "I've secretly always loved
"my second daughter."
"I feel very bad for all the
ways that I've treated her."
Well that's a 19.
- Oh!
- Okay.
- You know, just some personal stuff
is what I mean.
I don't need to have that specific thing.
Although it would be really nice,
but that is specifically
what I'm looking for,
but if I find something
else, that's also fine.
- As Riz is going through all the stuff
he's like, "It's great
to be with somebody else
"who just like focuses up.
"Like you and I, like everybody else,
"just like super horny, super emotional,
"but me and you?"
- No emotions between the
two of us, we're cold.
- You find a small desk
that has an ink and quill
and loose parchment on it.
- And I do the pencil
trick across the parchment?
- You do the pencil trick.
It literally works exactly
as it's supposed to.
- Amazing, I'm a teen spy.
- It reads as follows.
"Aelwyn is with me, you are betrayed.
"You have no other choice, darling.
"Come join us."
- Well, I didn't get this letter,
so this must be to my dad.
God damn it.
Oh, I hate my family.
- Are there any other checks
or investigations that you
guys are going to make here?
- I don't know.
Loose floorboards?
A trap door?
- Yeah, see if they're hiding anything.
That's a good idea too.
- Anything under the mattress?
Oh maybe, let's see what
spells I have stocked.
- These people are real teen sleuths.
- Couple teen sleuths.
Uh, dup, dup, dup, dup, dup, dup, dup.
- Um yeah, I guess we'll just,
we've done a lot of stuff with the ritual,
I guess we'll just look and see if they—
- Have you guys gone through the trash?
- Yes, can I try and push a key
through a lock with a
paper underneath the door
and then pull the piece of paper?
No.
Yeah, is there anything in the trash?
- Actually, you find
something in the trash.
- Yeah, I'm a teen sleuth too!
- You find a little bit of ash
that you believe is from a cantrip
burning up the sheet that was written.
Your first guess would be probably that
your mother scribed
that for a sending spell
to make sure that she was under 25 words.
And then just burned the paper.
- Um, can I
use mending on the ash?
- Extremely cool.
Whoooph, the ash turns back
into a page in your hand,
and you see the exact same letter
that your mother had written
to whoever she wrote it to.
- Great.
- Excellent.
Cool.
Yeah, so you've found about everything
about the ritual here.
Oh, you find,
I guess if you're, again you got those
two dirty 20s.
There is a lot of stuff
that they were packing here.
The list of stuff that
they were packing to,
for just like rations and sh*t
is way more than you would need
to get where the temple is in Sylvaire.
So they were packing for a longer trip
than just to get to the
temple, it looks like.
You also see a list of
things like antimony, mercury,
just like random words around like that.
And some loose things here
and there for rituals.
None of those are super helpful
because you're only finding
hints at what they were doing.
It seems like whatever they were doing,
the primary work went
with them to go do it.
As you would expect.
- Right.
- Interesting.
So by the
so by the looks of the medical
charts that we've seen,
we saw that the brain looks
like it's not infected?
- Right, it's eyes, mouth,
- So does that mean,
so she can't,
- Sinus and spine.
- So she can't hear
our thoughts, probably.
- Right.
- But maybe she can
- Ears were also infected.
- Oh, ears are also.
- Ear drums were infected as well.
- But she can hear speech,
and see out of eyes.
- And I was paralyzed one time.
- Right, so you couldn't move your spine.
- Each of you guys go ahead
and make an insight check.
- Damn, you all are smart as hell.
I would not have figured any of this out.
I've heard all the same information,
and synthesized none of
the same conclusions.
- Steady eye, it's investigation, right?
Not insight.
- I got a nine.
- Nine, okay.
- Come on, baby.
Sixteen.
- As soon as Adaine is pointing out
like this is affecting only
sensory areas of the body
rather than mind,
you immediately flash back to the fact
that Kalina was asking you questions.
Clearly,
- She didn't know everything, right?
- She couldn't know
everything in your mind.
- Mm-hmm.
- You remember Adaine's intense, awesome
oracular scrying spell.
Which showed paging through
people one at a time.
In other words, it appears that Kalina,
and also the fact that
she appeared to Kristen,
but not you simultaneously,
even though you were both there.
- Right, so she can only
be in one place at once.
- It seems like she only be affecting
one thing at a time.
- That makes sense.
- Yeah.
- And suddenly you remember the way
that you got around Ragh's thing.
Because if Ragh can see her,
Ragh's infected, but you remember that
when you were in the hangvan originally,
when he first spilled the beans,
you were all using message spells,
and were being very careful.
Telepathy would bypass all
of these infected areas.
On top of that, you
realize that when you go
into the Moon Haven, or
Kristen's hallow spell,
you're like why has that been able to,
why as that been able to work?
Why has it been so effective?
You suddenly realize that
even with an infection,
it's maybe possible that
if Kalina was with you
while you went into the Haven,
or that she would either be rebuffed,
or especially if she wasn't there at all,
if she had gone somewhere
else and you entered,
that would prevent her from coming
into your sensory information.
- So once we're in The Haven, we're okay.
- Looks like it.
- As long as she doesn't
follow one of us in.
- That's unclear to you
if she could potentially follow you in,
or if she rode you in actively.
- Yeah, I think that we need to
make a system of if you
want to tell me something
secret, I message you and then
you can message me back.
- That's a good idea.
Cool.
One other thing we
should definitely look at
is if there's any way to cure it,
or any way to lock her thing.
- Or be aware
if she's inside of you.
- Yeah, I guess I just
want to search through
the medical documents and see if—
- Yeah, can we take
these documents with us?
- Yeah, absolutely.
This is an abandoned room
that the hotel staff, or
the inkeeper's just gonna
dump all this.
- Just taking my
mom's stuff back.
- Yeah.
- If there was a dog infection
to go through our brains.
- Just throw a real juicy bone in there.
- Awesome.
Cool.
You guys gather up all that stuff.
So to look for a cure for this
would be a different medicine check.
But, you can go ahead and make
that medicine check if you'd like.
- Sweet.
- I feel like Kristen also might
want to look at that stuff.
I'll do a medicine check as well.
- True, 18.
- 18, cool.
- Yeah, I got a seven.
Wow, I'm rolling bad today.
- You got an 18,
there's gotta be some
cure that's possible.
I mean, you saw records
from the Elven government
about the execution of
Landra and Lier and stuff
that seemed to be like,
"We addressed this."
So, you believe, an 18 is good enough
that you believe a cure is possible.
It's not good enough for you
to know what the cure is.
- Okay, cool.
- Awesome.
- Great.
- You guys gather, I'm gonna say
you guys were probably in
there for a good two hours
just combing through the spot.
We
are gonna go back to the Shrine of Thorns.
Kristen, you're in the chapel in the dark.
Tracker is at the door bugging out.
This black plate armored horn helmed
skeletal burnt wings, like
beautiful but like uncanny valley
like porcelain doll's face
with like ruby red lipstick
and a little beauty mark.
Like a devil puts the thing in your hand.
Again, what she says,
repeating what she said
when she came out the first time.
She comes to you and says,
"As Vraz the Mean. Executor Potentate
"of the Dominian of Averness,
"Arch Secretary to Blozo the Undiminished,
"Rident of Sloth, you are hereby served.
"Thank you."
Hands it to you.
- I take it.
- And she turns around and starts walking
back into the portal.
- Um,
- Hey, can we come with you?
- Hmm?
- Hey, can we come with you?
- Well, you've been
served, yeah absolutely.
- Yeah, okay, so just leave it open,
we're right behind you.
- Yeah, just leave it open,
we're right behind you.
- "Are you guys having a fun time?
"Because you seem pretty f*cking glib!
"Keep your sass to yourself!"
You see that she turns around
and walks back into the portal.
- I'm gonna look at this little paper.
- You have been subpoenaed.
- Tracker!
- Tracker goes, "What
was her f*cking deal?"
- I wonder what just f*cking Happened?
- I didn't think we were being that glib.
We were just saying leave the portal open,
we're right behind you.
I just gotta get my shoes.
- Something about this weird altar.
- Wait, where are your shoes?
- It's a metaphor for
I'm right behind you.
- Okay, I got it, sorry.
- Incredible.
- Let me look at it.
Can I understand this legalese?
- You look at the legalese,
go ahead and give me
an investigation check.
- Oh, great, so you want to
just stall any development?
Okay, it's gonna be a nat one plus three,
it's gonna be a four.
- Incredible.
You look at it, do you read Infernal?
- Yeah.
- Oh hell yeah, great.
The parts of it,
the print gets so fine that it's actually
illegible without a magnifying glass.
But basically you are not under arrest,
you are being subpoenaed as a witness,
and it's not a full
trial, it's a tribunal.
It looks like, hold on one second.
- Do I see any names
that I recognize on it?
- Gorthalax is the main one.
It looks like your dad is on trial.
- How can he be on trial?
He's in a frickin' gem,
he can't be in court.
- It looks like the main things he's been
called to task for are negligence
of his Infernal domain.
And you see a thing that says,
"Your ninth and final request
for appearance has lapsed,
"a tribunal is called
here forth immediately."
You are being called forth as a witness
to Gorthalax's—
- You know I kinda get it.
- Seems like a petty lawsuit?
- But like it kinda seems like
she's kinda at her wits
end, there's been nine
things sent out.
- But I also feel like
maybe they don't know
he's in a gem, so they think
he's just skipping town.
I should just go in
there, clear things up.
- Do you know how long litigation takes?
You'd be there forever.
- I don't know, me as a witness?
I'm compelling.
- I'm compelling.
- Also, I could just
disguise myself as him.
And show up to the trial.
- Okay, look, we finally
got to this thing.
Wait, Tracker checking in, how are you?
- "I'm okay.
"The weird thing with me and this shrine
"is now the second weirdest
thing that's happened."
- I would agree, I would agree.
- "So I'm here to support.
"I just here to support, I'm supporting."
- Hey Tracker, is it this painting
you think that's weirding you out?
Okay, okay.
Can I go to the painting,
and can I try to take it down,
and take it out of it's
frame and roll it up?
- It's not a painting, it's actually like
a mural carved into the wall.
It's fully on there.
You could try to move the
vines back in front of it.
- I would like to do that, yeah.
- You move the vines,
you see Tracker is transforming,
and she's trying to fight it so much.
Like half of her head has gone wolf,
and the other half hasn't.
She's like.
- You can go back.
Go back behind the tree or something.
- You see she like rolls off to the side.
- Take a breath, go behind
a tree or something.
Come on babe, babe, take a lap.
- Go get behind a tree.
- Babe, get behind a tree.
- "I'm gonna go behind a tree."
- Okay, thank you.
- Kristen, I think I
should go deal with this
for Gorthalax, but do you want to use this
as a chance to come in?
It seems like this is the way to get—
- Do you think they're gonna have
the trial inside the—
- What has been going on?
Because I've been a little bit checked out
and I'm trying to figure
out if there's a way
that these demons, if they
like the Nightmare King,
or they don't like the Nightmare King.
- Yeah, good question.
All good questions.
- Okay, so you don't know,
that hasn't been covered, okay cool.
- No, it sounds like, wait, sorry.
Demons, not.
- Demons, pro-Nightmare King.
Devils anti-Nightmare King.
- So demons do like the Nightmare King.
- Demons do like the Nightmare King.
- Can I use my crystal to
take a photo of this mural?
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Okay, and when I take it
does it show up on my crystal?
Can I see it?
- It does show up on your crystal, yeah.
- Do you see this mural?
Can I show it to—
- Do I see the mural?
- You do see the mural.
- I see the mural.
I see it here, and I also
see it on your phone.
- Can I go up to Tracker and see
if she reacts to the photo on my crystal?
- Babe, can I show this to you?
It's the same thing, but on the crystal.
- Oh, let's not.
- All right, no problem.
- Yeah, let's not.
I promise,
- Stay behind the tree.
I kiss her, I kinda kiss
the tree, I don't know what.
- But I mean, I can just
go in there on my own
and try to maybe get them on our side.
And also like, I'm not
gonna shut the portal
on my way in, and maybe
you guys can use it.
- I just don't think that the trial
is in Sylvaire, right?
Isn't she opening up a
portal like down to hell?
- Is it a portal to hell,
or is it a portal through which
one would need to go to get to Sylvaire?
- It's in the Briar Wall like you would go
through to Sylvaire,
but you look through and do see a
sky of, literally,
the sky looks like the surface of,
like if the ocean were the sky, but fire.
Just roiling fire from which meteors rain
on a blasted, smoke and ash filled
rock red landscape of craters.
- Looks pretty chill.
- Okay, no, no, okay, I'm not trying to
ice your vibe, but
what if we went back
and got everybody else,
and then your subpoena in
is the way all of us get in?
- I guess I could just stand
in the portal and hold it open.
- Well can't you come back with me
and then come back with your paperwork
and be like, "Look, let me in."
- Oh yeah, can I wave my paper
and see if it opens a portal for me?
Like a Metro card?
- It does not appear.
The portal's just there kind
of roiling open in the place.
- Okay, okay yeah, I'll come with you.
- Cool.
- I guess I'll probably
practice my Gorthalax too.
- Great, yeah, get into Gorthalax
and I'll tell you if
it's believable or not.
- Um, awesome.
So you guys head away
from the Shrine of Thorns.
Tracker walks with you
looking a little bit rattled.
You guys get back to Holly Hill.
I'm actually gonna cut back
just for timeline reasons,
you guys would have definitely gotten to
the hangvan first, and come back.
So you in the, I'll go back,
you get to the hangvan, and find all this
sh*t In the glove box which is like
effectively, you know
like space tech-esque
routing information for like
how to send signals to this satellite.
So basically you can super
boost your cell phone
to skip the need for a cell tower
and become like a direct
satellite phone, basically.
- Great.
I understand this, and let's.
- Man, you had this information all along
you didn't even know.
How ironic.
- I don't think I was ready for it.
- Cool, you get back
to The Tinkerer's Hall
with this information.
- Roll it all out.
So, looks like this is the stuff
we were talking about, right?
- "Well, ding ding, that's great.
"Well would you like us
to see what we can do
"the your crystamatron?"
- Yes, please, of course.
- "All right, toodaloo, we'll
see you when it's done."
- How long do you need?
- I'm going to make a
little roll in the Box of Doom
to see how long it will take.
I'll say five or below is
use the little beans.
- Use the little beans!
- I'll say a five or
below is very, very bad.
You're looking for higher than a 10.
- Do not f*ck me little beans.
- That's a seven.
- Okay.
- I mean, let's not
cheer on the little beans too hard.
- Whoo, little beans!
- Um, you see he says,
"Well, if we had your help,
"because we don't really
understand crystamatrons,
"it will probably go a little faster.
"But with ourselves, I'd
say we could figure it out
"in a day or two."
- Yeah, for now let's do that.
I might have to come and grab it
before you're done, and that's fine.
But in the meantime, let's just do that.
I feel like we gotta check back in
with the rest of the group.
- Yeah, and I don't wanna be here anymore.
- You don't want them to boost your phone?
- No, I'm good, you don't have to—
- "We can super boost your crystamatron."
- No, there's a bunch of
private stuff on there
that I don't want you to see.
- "Really?
"Like what?"
- Okay, well it's private,
so we're not gonna talk about it.
- Hey, can you guys switch shoes?
- No, we aren't gonna
switch shoes, all right?
- Oh my god, that would be so cute.
- There's no way your shoes would fit me.
- "You look like you're about my size."
- What size are you.
- "Well, I'm a size five humans."
- Goddammit.
- Well, I'm a size
five and a half, so it's just,
I have big toes.
- "I like a little toe room."
- All right, you know what,
your toes are much too curly,
and that's not good for—
- I think that's the design of the shoe.
It's got curls at the end.
- But yeah, that's not good for—
- "You know you have the curls there
"so you can put little bells on them."
- Do you want little bells on your shoes?
- Let's go, I wanna go right now.
- You guys head out.
Nerd Squad heads back.
You guys see that Sandra
Lynn lands as well.
As you guys are approaching,
Sandra Lynn lands with Baxter,
and yeah, Sandra Lynn lands with Baxter.
- Mom, do you know anything about the law?
- "The law?"
- Gorthalax is in trouble
because he hasn't been
taking care of his domain,
and I need to go there
and defend him in court.
- She got subpoenaed while we
were in this like crazy altar.
- "What are you talking about?"
- And also Tracker reacted
really crazy to a mural.
- I think if you're
subpoenaed that doesn't mean
that you're the lawyer, I think that means
that you're the witness.
- I need to know more about the law.
I need to defend Gorthalax's
claim to his station.
- I think you need to pass the bar exam,
and it takes a long time.
- I disguise myself as someone
who has passed the bar.
- You see, Sandra Lynn
looks at you and says,
"Honestly, Sweetie,
you know who especially
"with like international
and in fact interplanar law,
"you know who actually knows?"
- The Chosen One!
Is it Gilear?
- Who?
You guys hear coming out of Holly Hill,
"Um, many of the frittatas
have been ruined."
- You've been making frittatas?
- "It was a poor choice of food to make,
"they have all gone cold.
"I made them almost immediately,
"but you have been gone for hours."
- What's a frittata again?
- Cold frittata is still good.
- I mean, cold frittata
is actually, I was just
gonna say the same thing.
- I like a cold frittata, delicious.
- So we'll pour some rose,
let's all have a cold frittata.
- Oh my goodness, a little
cold frittata picnic.
- I've been waiting for this day to come.
This is your moment.
I need you.
- "Nope, what?"
- What, why?
- Why?
- "What, what, what, what?"
- Wait, wouldn't Ayda know about that?
- Uh, she's busy.
- Ayda's not here.
- I heard yeah.
- Yeah, she has to defend the library.
- Oh man, where did Ayda go?
Who saw her last?
- Sandra, were you going to say,
were you going to say my dad?
- Who saw her last?
- She didn't say goodbye
or anything, that's so rude.
- Were you going to say my dad?
- Who saw her last though,
- I thought we were friends.
- And what did you do?
- Yeah.
- Sandra Lynn says, "No, I
was going to say Gilear."
- Oh, really?
- Well Gilear's job was diplomatic rela—
Gilear was not the face,
he was a sort of expert in you know,
- Oh, like a solicitor.
- Adaine, permission to
reach into your jacket?
- What do you want?
Yeah, fine.
- Can I pull out a little Barrister's wig?
- Gilear looks at it and says, "Uh."
- I think you're ready
to get back in the game.
"None of the cultures I have
- Adaine, permission to reach
- "worked for use these wigs."
- past your torso
into your jacket?
- I mean, we're all doing it, I guess.
- I pull out a little gavel.
- Do you think as a lawyer,
- A solicitor is not
a barrister or a judge.
- I'm really shootin' in the dark.
- "I want to be very
clear about something.
"I'm going to take the gavel.
"I'm going to be very
clear about something.
"I am not a lawyer, I
have not passed any test
"to effectively practice law.
"I was, for a time in
my earlier position as
"Elven Council, the equivalent
of a glorified paralegal."
- Hmm, okay.
- "Especially the laws of hell."
- If you just need a front person,
you can be the brains, I'll
just be the body out there.
I'll be there workin' it as a
famous lawyer from Billboards.
- "Very well."
You see that he says, "All right, well,
"fine, I give you my word,
"I will help you in this endeavor.
"It's confusing because
I didn't think we would
"be able to get in trouble with Arborly.
"Didn't the fox say we were all—"
- Oh, this is in hell.
- "What?"
- Hell.
- "What?"
- Hell.
- "Oh no."
- yeah.
- You see that,
- This is a really keyed
up woman from hell.
- Yeah.
- Like,
- Working through something.
- "I, what have you done?"
- She's furious.
We barely did anything.
I was looking at a mural,
trying to figure out if it
was a tequila advertisement,
and she screamed at me.
- "Okay."
- So yeah, there's a
portal open, we can all go.
- To hell.
- And I think that we can use it.
- Angry woman wants to take you to hell.
- Do we want Gilear to read the subpoena?
- Yes.
- Oh yeah, Gilear, do
you want to read this?
- Do you read Infernal?
- I'll read it to him.
I'll translate it to them
and then he can translate the legalese.
- I read Infernal also.
- Cool.
- Nice.
- You see Gilear says,
"Uh, all right, it looks as if you are,
"well let me be very clear.
"Everyone is in great
danger all of the time."
- I agree.
- Yeah.
- "Good, but disquieting,
coming from the Oracle."
"What I would say is this.
"This subpoena has no
clauses concerning your soul.
"There's nothing for you to sign.
"They have stipulated that they will
"send people to come and
get you if you don't comply,
"which is normally how a subpoena works.
"But, it appears that they
are simply seeking you
"for information of the target of this
"whole situation is Gorthalax."
- Yes, but I'm asking you
to help Gorthalax out,
because he's gonna lose his entire domain,
and it's not his fault.
He's been trapped inside of a gem.
- Is there a way you think,
to convince them to go with us,
to follow Gorthalax,
because we'll get what we want,
and they'll get what they
want which is Gorthalax.
- That's what I'm also saying
is this is also an excuse to get in there
and be like, "Hey, you
know how you hate demons,
"and they love the Nightmare King?
"They're trying to bring
the Nightmare King back."
But you don't have to
worry about that part.
We'll start that as sort
of a grassroots campaign.
- "Very well."
- I start pulling flyers out of my—
Very beautifully printed pamphlets.
- Wow, lookit.
- Oh, there's a typo.
- So you would just be
doing Gorthalax a solid,
which you don't owe him by any means,
but I mean, heck if all of us wouldn't
like to watch you strut
your stuff in the courtroom.
I would like to see you
make that stenographer's hands dance.
- "I must be clear.
"At no point,"
- I pull a black robe out of my
coat, and wrap it around his shoulders.
- Everyone, order, order.
- Are you as Gorgolax right now?
- I started acting like the bailiff, hey.
- "At no point in time in the past
"or in any possible future
"have I ever, will I ever,
and perhaps can I ever
"strut my stuff."
- Oh, come on, Gilear.
- "The thought of it is
impossible to even envision."
- Could you have seen yourself
trapped in a wheel well with
an apple in your mouth sh1tting yourself?
And that happened yesterday.
You never know what—
- "This isn't helping me
"feel more confident.
"Daughter, I will of
course help you, gladly."
- Thank you.
I appreciate it, and I'll give you
any support you want.
- "Very well."
Okay, you see that,
cool, so this having been,
so Gilear, you know, is looking at it
and has at least some understanding of it.
Do the rest of you communicate
all the crazy sh*t that has happened?
- Can I message to everybody?
Or, I guess we were
speaking about it out loud.
I just want to tell them
about the message thing.
So basically she can't
see inside our minds.
So if you have something to say
and you don't have the message spell,
just give a thumbs up
and one of us will message
and then we can like,
loop everybody in that way.
- I have the message spell.
- I have it.
- I don't.
- Uh, yeah.
- I do not.
- Kristen, we also have
these medical papers.
Is there a cure?
- Um yeah, can I try
to look through these?
- Go ahead and give me a
give me a medicine check.
- Yes.
- Are you kidding me?
- Nat 20.
A f*cking nat 20.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, whoo, whoo, whoo!
- And it's not even with the little bean.
- It seems like there's
some dice over there
that you've been waiting to eat.
Eat a dice.
- What's the cure, baby?
- Eat a damn die.
- Hope you're not on keto.
- Because beans are legumes.
- Which dice do you guys want?
- The beans or Tide pod?
- I mean which in the—
- I feel like this is
a small victory
- A D four.
- Yeah, let's have D four.
- And be careful, those are the sharp
- Yeah, maybe a D six.
- Do you want me to D four or D six?
- D four.
- Do a D four.
- It might be really hard.
- I'm eating my dice.
- How is it?
- How does it taste?
- It's not bad.
- Now I'm jealous.
I wanna eat a dice.
- What a cool thing, yeah.
- It's just like a hard candy
that you just have in your mouth
for another 30 minutes.
- It's so sharp.
Okay, so—
- Whoo!
- No, this is gonna be
the sound of this episode!
- Nat 20, goddammit.
- And that's, yeah what is that, 29?
- Oh yeah, that's a 29, technically.
- That is a beautiful Ally roll.
- You have a plus nine?
- A plus nine to do a medicine, yeah.
- You know
you could make a
tincture that would require
dusk moss and a couple other things,
like alchemical goods that these guys
have not gotten from the Tinkerer's Hall.
The other thing is you
looking at this, and understanding the
medicine that you would need,
most clerics couldn't,
you with greater
restoration could cure this.
So you look at the medicine,
Riz and Adaine point everything out.
You with greater
restoration can cure this.
- Can I message,
if you've figured it out,
don't say it out loud?
- Mm, yeah.
Oh yeah, message—
- Maybe it would be useful
for us to not cure it,
and use our link to Kalina
in terms of disinformation.
Is there something in that?
- Well, I'm gonna message and say like
"What if we cured
everyone but one person?"
- Sandra Lynn sees you guys
start messaging each other,
and says, "I'm gonna talk
about what I found out."
And starts talking so
that someone is talking
while you guys are talking,
in case anyone's watching.
- Okay.
- Sandra Lynn very briefly
just found the spot
in the forest where she thinks Aelwyn,
Arianwen and Killian made
their way into the woods.
- Great.
- So we all look at her and like,
- Yeah, exactly.
But you guys have this
real conversation instead.
- Cool.
- Great.
- Okay, I message, "I need a
spell that I haven't stocked.
"So the next time we take a rest
"I can stock a spell and I can heal this.
"But I think you might be on to something,
"keep one person healed?"
- That's what I'm wondering.
- Do you think she can
sense when she's lost?
- She wouldn't be able to get into you.
- She'll know, but I feel like
if there was one person who still had it,
she would be distracted by trying to
use that person to find us, maybe?
- Or should we just keep it on all of us
and I can stock as much of
this antidote as I need.
- Right.
- And then the moment we want.
Can you do that with greater restoration?
Can you make it like a potion and then—
- Well there are two options.
I can make a tincture or
I can try to heal this.
- Can you actually make
the tincture though?
- We only need a few things, right?
- You know how to make it,
but some of the stuff that you would need
is sh*t that is like herbalist stuff
that's gonna come from in Sylvaire.
You'd have to go through the wall—
- Would it be things that are
less than 10 gold pieces?
- Let me roll a little dice.
- A few of them are, one are two are not.
- Okay, so I can get some of them
through my jacket.
- Cool.
- So at least if you
go the tincture route,
you'll be able to do it much faster
because you've produced the
vast majority of what you need.
Tracker—
- That's good because it would be so dope,
again this is message,
it would be so dope to just get
a bunch of tinctures on the sly,
and then just all be like, "Bye Kalina."
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- You see that Tracker goes and says,
"That's the reason I like
tincture plan the most.
"I will point something
else out which is this.
"If we are sure that Kalina can't get
"into the Hallow,
"we could theoretically have
everybody whose in trouble,"
this dice is in my mouth.
- You gotta get it out.
- Spit it out,
and see what you roll.
- Spit it out.
We did the gag, we'll
know never to do it again.
- We will do it one more time.
- Wow, ooh, it's what are,
that is that edible.
It got way smaller.
I'm gonna say that's a four.
- Whoo!
- Huuah, very tasty.
You see that she looks at you and says,
"Another way out of this could be,"
- In message.
- Yes, she's speaking in message,
or I guess going through
Adaine as the hub,
sending messages out to people.
- I can also be a hub.
Why is no one messaging through me?
- You see that Tracker basically goes,
it's very funny Sandra
Lynn and Gilear are just
kind of like chatting out here
as the four teen girls are like
brrrrrrrrrr going back and forth.
- We're trying to nod at
them like we're listening.
- Yeah.
- It is the equivalent of just like
texting under your desk while you're...
You see that she looks
over to you and says,
"If everyone that was infected
"stowed away in the hangvan,
"and Kalina couldn't see us all,
"it might get funky in there,
"but we could take—"
How many times a day do you think
you can cast greater restoration?
- I think that's what,
like a fifth level spell?
- Is it fifth level?
- Is it twice?
- Once, once a day.
- Oh, once a day.
- So Tracker says, "If we
wanted to do the safe route
"we could hunker down in the van, start—"
- That's true because of the hangvan,
as long as we make a big deal
about going into the hangvan,
she'll know, "Oh, there's been times
"that I've not been able to follow
"them in there before."
So she might just assume that.
- Do you have—
- So maybe we all pretend
to be, like everyone who's infected
pretends to be like unconscious
and we deposit them in the hangvan
and she thinks, wow, they must be
recovering in the hangvan.
- Do you recover spells
when you take a short rest?
Or is that just a wizard thing?
- Just a long rest.
- I don't think clerics do.
- Just a long rest.
- That's a cool thing though.
- It is, it's useful.
- See Tracker looks and
says, "So there is like
"a surefire way of doing this,"
- But it would take eight
days to get all of us.
- I'm trying to think.
How many of us?
- Us six, you and Ragh, right?
- Well no, but not all of us are infected.
- I'm not infected.
- Just you two,
- Tracker,
- Tracker,
- Sandra Lynn.
- Sandra Lynn.
- Tracker looks and
says, "I can do detect,
"I can detect poison and disease right now
"and try to just see—"
- It's just four of us.
- She's like, "It's you
and me, Riz, Sandra Lynn,
"is there anyone?"
- Does Ragh, is Ragh?
- "Ragh, yeah."
- Ragh.
- That's it?
- What about Gilear?
- You see Gilear says, "Let me take a look
"at that photograph?"
- Just do a general detect
poisons and disease on Gilear.
- Gilear, I don't mean to pry.
- You detect a powerful
aura coming from his feet.
Other than that, nothing.
"May I take a look at the photograph?
"Nope."
- I'm gonna take Fig aside and ask,
so I don't wanna ask Gilear this,
because it feels so mean.
But shouldn't he and Sandra Lynn,
just because there was a,
when did they not,
- You're right.
How did they not get passed?
- You know what I mean?
- From her to him?
Well we don't entirely understand.
- Sure.
- Because it is a fluid thing, right?
- I think so.
That's such a—
- I'm gonna message just Sandra Lynn.
Mom, mom, it's me, Fig.
- "Hey, what's up?"
- Hey, I'm gonna ask a
really sensitive question,
but give me a blunt answer.
- Okay.
- How come Gilear doesn't
have what you have?
- "Uh, great question.
"I understand what the
implication here is.
"Gilear and I did sleep together,
"many, many times.
"This is weird.
- I really think I need to know.
I need to understand, I'm sorry.
- "Yeah, no, I mean, your father and I,
"you know, and he is your father,
"he raised you, you know your father"
- Yeah, he's definitely my dad.
- Yeah, of course.
- He's also now my lawyer.
- Again, he has passed the bar nowhere.
So just go in with expectations set at—
- We're gonna drop the para from legal.
He's walkin' out of hell just legal.
- Wild.
"So, your father and I
"haven't um,
"okay, I'm gonna say this
"the least icky way that I can.
"I could have gotten
"this infection any time in the past
"three-ish years—"
- And Gilear would not have received it.
- "Correct."
- Okay.
I message Gorgug and
I say, "They did do it
"on the reg,"
- Okay, thanks, yeah.
- "But Sandra Lynn thinks maybe she got it
"more recently, ever since
they stopped doing it."
- I'm so sorry I brought this up.
I'm so sorry.
- Thank you for your candor, mom.
- I feel really bad.
- You see that she says,
"Absolutely, listen, this is
"having your parents come
on an adventure with you,
"the close quarters and how high
"the stakes are have meant that there
"have been a lot of divulgences
"that I would never have anticipated.
"I love you, it's weird,
"sorry for all this weird
info, but you know."
- That's okay, I think we'll
be closer because of it.
- "Yeah, no, believe me.
"And again, I just feel Gilear is great,
"and there was a period of time—"
- He's more than great,
he's the chosen one.
- You keep saying that,
and I can't tell if
you really believe that
or if it's like a teen joke.
- I don't know either.
- Wow.
I don't miss being a teenager.
- So, you guys are left talking about
this kind of spell thing.
But you've communicated all the stuff
that you guys researched
in the Owl and the Harp.
Corroborate a lot of that alchemical stuff
from the Tinkerer's Hall.
- Yeah, so um, we can speak
freely in here, right?
- If you guys go into the hangvan,
- Yeah, let's do that,
let's go into the hangvan.
- So we're in the van now.
I got some hallucinogens.
- What?
- We bought so many drugs.
- We actually need that for the tincture.
- I've heard it's really
good for anxiety, actually.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay, so here are our options.
- We just bought what they bought.
- Yeah, and it just so happens
that it was a bunch of drugs.
- And it seems like it's legal here.
- It's not even like a thing.
- You see Ragh is in
the corner just going...
- Ragh, no!
- Ragh!
- You're gonna go absolutely crazy
if you have any of that.
- Ragh, did you do some?
- What?
- Don't wear a hat.
- Shut up dude, f*ck you what?
- How much did you have?
- What?
- How much, a scoop?
- A hand's just like a little
animal on the end of your arm.
- Okay, he had a very big chunk.
Hey, we can either stay here
for five days straight for me to
try to heal everybody,
- We don't have the
time, it's Spring Break.
- Also, are we going to hell?
- Yes, I do have to go.
- So I guess we should go
the tincture route, right?
- I think you should prepare both.
- Yeah, you should stock it.
- Well I can't, oh I will stock it
for sure as soon as I can, but,
so we don't have everything
for the tincture.
Now we know she can see through us,
but she doesn't have our mind,
and we proceed as normal
and she thinks she still has the better—
- Can you give me a shopping list,
and I'll go to the alchemical place?
- Is it cool for me to—
- Yes, absolutely.
- Do I have everything on it?
Was I able to—
- The things you aren't able to
pull out of the jacket,
the Owl Bears on the squad
already got from—
- Oh great, so we have everything.
- Except for one or two ingredients
from beyond the forest.
You know that going to the Tinkerer's Hall
would be a moot point.
- Oh, so we'd have to be inside the forest
to get them anyway.
- Correct.
- Great.
- So we have to do greater restoration.
- Yes.
Well, that's five days.
- Or, I mean we're going
into the forest anyway.
- You either have to
do greater restoration
or risk going into the forest
with some of you infected,
and trying to address it there.
So there's a riskier faster option,
and a slower safer option.
- Here's the only other
thing I'm concerned about
is if we go to hell for this trial,
I don't know if we want the demons knowing
what goes on in hell, right?
- So should the people who aren't
infected go to hell?
- Maybe you guys don't come.
- Adaine and me and Gorgug,
like a lot of us are not,
this is a message, no
wait, we're in Hollow.
- Yeah, so you three could go.
- We are ones who can
go talk to the devils
about the demons, and
they won't see anything.
- I don't know if we should
split up going to hell.
- I think if we're going to hell
that's a full team event.
- Is there a world where
we take a day or two,
well-
What if just the Bad Kids,
you know, what if we just,
you know greater restored us
and left Ragh and Sandra
Lynn and Tracker behind?
- Or you guys just stay in the Hollow
unless we need you when
when we're in hell,
but that's sort of boring.
Can we drive the van into the court?
- Yeah, I can stretch that portal
big enough, I think.
- Under no circumstance can you
stretch the portal big enough.
- What about if I cast enlarge reduce
on the van while we're inside it.
- Honey I shrunk the—
- I'm gonna look up
the enlarge reduce spell.
- Honey I shrunk the van.
- Can Tracker cast greater restoration?
- She can't, I specifically
made this illness.
- I am honoring a nat 20 in this moment.
- If a target is a creature,
anything it's wearing and carrying
changes size with it.
- Oh, the hangvan's
technically a creature.
- Now I would say that the hangvan
is a sentient being,
and that us being inside the hangvan
would technically mean that we are
being worn by the hangvan.
- Because the hangvan
cannot ambulate itself,
it's intelligence—
- That is abilist.
- Wow.
- I think you found your lawyer.
- I think you found your
freakin' lawyer over here.
- I think you found your
freaking lawyer over here.
- Don't tell Gilear,
it'll break his heart.
- The CPU of the hangvan
is a sentient creature.
The mechanical structure
which it inhabits is not.
- Okay.
- What if we shrink it
and take it in, like walk in next to it?
- Oh, how about this.
How about this as a definitive thing?
Something that you can cast Hallow on
is fundamentally not something
you can cast enlarge reduce on.
- All right, fair enough.
- It's an object.
- I go to the Tinkerer's Hall.
- An item or object.
- Oh, it's creature or object?
Okay.
- I go to the Tinkerer's Hall.
I make a
a vest that has a bunch of pockets on it,
human-sized pockets.
Everyone hops into those.
Enlarge reduce on me.
- Also cast a hallow on,
- On the vest.
You guys, so don't you think if
we're kind of already one step ahead
of the Shadow Cat if
we know how to stop it
but she thinks that we're
completely powerless?
- Yeah.
- Should we just proceed as normal
and hope to pick up these things
?
- I think we proceed as normal,
but I do that your priorities should be
Kristen, maybe you just
greater restore yourself?
Maybe you greater restore—
- One at a time, we
start knocking them down.
- I think it's useful for her to have
some information from us
as a disinformation thing.
- Uh, nevermind.
- Tracker brings it up and just says,
"The moment that Kalina can go into
"one of our eyes, see one of us,
"and know that she can't go into those
"other person's eyes, the jig's up."
- Then tincture route's
the only way to do it.
- I think it's tincture route.
- And when we do the tincture
we all do it at once.
I make enough for all
of us to just drop it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I think I'm also,
I mentioned before that I was concerned
about going to hell and her possibly
being able to see the trial.
But hell is also bad,
so I don't really care if they all end up
fighting and k*lling each other.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
- Let's just go to hell.
- I think you're right, let's do it.
- I think it's our only way.
- One thing at a time.
- Also, they're super far along already.
They have Gorthalax and they're in.
- Yeah.
- So it's not like, yeah.
- This is really dramatic,
but when we do take the tincture,
how about when someone takes it,
all of us scream, "Oh no, they died!"
And she'll think each of these people
have died and she'll be expecting
half the size of the party.
- This is amazing.
We should choreograph
some beautiful fights where
- If everybody's taking the
Fabian does the final thrust.
- tincture at the same time,
then she won't have access to anything.
- No, we do it one at a time.
- Let's not tell Gilear this plan,
and then he watches us die,
and then he's not even acting.
- Is Gilear coming with us?
No, Gilear is staying
and making more frittatas.
- No, he's coming to hell.
- Gilear is coming to hell.
- "Oh, no."
- Wait, Gilear, you're in the van?
- "Yes, I am here as well."
- Of course, of course,
I saw you the whole time.
- "Thank you, daughter."
- I just don't know if I trust Gilear.
Oh, was that not a message?
- So it sounds like unless you guys
have any other business in Arborly,
it sounds like the plan
is to head to hell.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Let's go to f*cking Hell.
- If you don't wanna go there,
you don't have to go there,
but I do have to go there.
- I super wanna go to hell.
- Hey, I'll see you in hell.
- Hey, see you in hell, man.
- Hey, see you in hell.
- See you in hell.
- See you in hell.
- See you in hell.
- See you in hell.
- See you in hell.
- You guys go back to
the Shrine of Thorns.
Tracker looks and says,
"I can't go into this shrine."
- Oh, it was that bad?
Yeah, I wanted to talk to you.
Sorry, that all got so
crazy there with frittatas.
- "It's okay, I just feel,
"I honestly got distracted
by the frittatas too."
- Right?
They were so cold.
I thought it would be good,
but it was actually like ice cold.
- "I think he put them in the freezer."
- I think so too.
I'm so sick of getting punked by him.
- "Yeah, it's also just weird
"to put kale and spinach
in the same frittata."
- Thank you, this is why I love you.
- "I love you so much."
- We align on such.
Okay, so, that's the only entryway for us.
- "Um, I can try to come
through just to make sure.
Or maybe,
- No don't, no.
- "The van's gonna be here, right?
"So maybe I'll kick it with the van."
- I mean, you know what
this sounds like, right?
This was my original idea
to chain you inside the van
and not allow you to come into the forest.
Sounds like we need to like
start that right now.
- You see that her eyes
go yellow and she goes,
"Are you trying to piss me off on purpose?
- I take out little handcuffs
that have our initials engraved.
- You see Sandra Lynn goes,
- You're under arrest.
- Sandra Lynn goes,
"Knock it off!"
- Oh!
- No one yells at officer
Kristen like that.
I go to handcuff Sandra Lynn.
Sorry, actually,
- "I'm not playing."
- No, me neither, actually.
- Were you about to leave?
- "So help me God, Kristen Applebees,
"I understand that I work for you but,
"so help, wow."
So Tracker, she's gonna stay with the van,
but she's gonna wait at
the outside of the door
just to like see you guys off.
Gilear walks up to you, Fig,
he's like, "Very well, as
your representative I, oh no."
cool.
Go ahead,
- Wait, can I ask, hangman,
are you a devil or a demon?
- "I am a devil of the Nine Hells.
- Are we cool with devils?
- Absolutely, yeah.
- Okay, devils are cool.
- Well, we're not super cool with them.
- Well no, we're cool with devils.
- Oh I'm sorry, do you
have a problem with devils?
- No, I don't have, just any devil—
- Since when do you have
a problem with devils?
- "Right, because goblins
have such a great reputation."
- That's what I'm saying,
you're a bad guy, there's bad goblins—
I'm saying if I was
subpoenaed by crazy goblins
who were taking me to a weird thing
to punish a goblin friend
who is taken in a gem,
I might be concerned about those goblins.
- I'm gonna put it out there and say,
I got a subpoena from
hell and it's literally
the tamest subpoena that could possibly,
it makes sense.
Gorthalax hasn't been there.
They don't know where he's been there.
They're acting pretty rationally.
I'll play ball.
- So the person who subpoenaed
you, they were cool?
- No!
- I think that we met her
on a bad day.
- She was horrible.
- Bad day, bad day for that one.
- Cool.
Go ahead, if you guys would be so kind,
and give me a marching order
with you and your hirelings.
The door is very small.
- I think I have to go in last,
because once I go in, it's gonna close.
- Good call.
- Good idea.
- That's smart.
- Thank you, I'm pretty smart.
- You see that as people who are not you
approach, briars grow out over the door.
So you think that
you need to actually in fact
be first to go through the door.
- Okay, I'm going to walk
through the door and stand in between.
Like I'm gonna pretend to check my phone
which is actually an '80s brick phone,
- You're like holding the elevator open?
- And I'm just gonna pretend like
I'm checking my phone
like I got distracted
in the middle of walking through.
h*, I'm gonna check something.
- Cool.
You walk in the doorway.
Gilear is right behind you.
You see that he walks into the blasted
plain of Averness, and a little spark hits
a bald patch on his head.
He goes, "Ahh" covers himself.
- Put your hat on!
That denim hat will protect you.
- He puts his beret on, his little beret.
- Marching order,
did you want to send
the hangman in next as a devil after you?
- Do you want to send the hangman in?
- Hangman, get in there.
Yeah, does anyone want to hop on?
- I'll hop on.
- Great.
- I'm still checkin' my phone.
- Sweet, I'll go with Fig.
- Can I reach over,
because Tracker's there seeing us off?
- Tracker is there seeing you off.
So give me an order, like one by one.
So it's Fig, Gilear, and then who else?
- I am literally, I think somebody
in like Fig's backpack
or just hanging onto Fig.
So I am I guess second behind Fig.
- Hangman is me and Adaine
cruising through after Gilear.
- Do you want to go
second to last or last?
I don't really have a strong—
- Maybe last, I just want to
say goodbye to Tracker really quick.
Feels crazy to split up.
- Awesome.
- And Sandra Lynn is coming?
- And you're riding and
then Adaine's on the
back of the hangman?
- And Ragh can be right behind us.
- Is Tracker gonna be there by herself?
- Yeah, maybe we should
leave Ragh with Tracker.
Is that crazy?
- Don't make faces.
- Oh no.
- Stop rolling dice
quietly and making faces.
- Fig, Gilear walk in.
The hangman-
- I don't walk in, I
stand one leg in each.
- Sure thing.
- I'm straddling the portal.
- Wow, that's like a
metaphor for your life.
- Fig holding the door open,
Gilear, the Hangman,
Fabian, I'm going to need
a DC 20 dexterity saving throw from you.
- What about me, because I was with Fig.
- Yeah, he's in my pocket, my backpack.
- Can I give him,
- I was like, I'm hanging on to Fig.
I was going with Fig.
- You're hanging onto Fig's,
- Does that mean you're
half in and half out?
- Wait, me as well?
- Okay, so it's Fig and
Riz in your backpack,
then it's Gilear?
Okay in that case, I'm actually gonna need
the same saving throw.
I'm gonna need a saving throw
for Fabian and the Hangman.
- Can I give him the help action?
- Yes.
Do you want to give it
to the Hangman or Fabian?
- Give it to,
give it to the Hangman.
- I'll give it to the Hangman,
because that seems more
dangerous to me, personally.
- Cool.
- Cool.
- Stop using these cursed dice.
You have so many new dice.
- I do have so many new dice.
That's a 15 for me.
And that's plus 20 for the Hangman.
- Okay.
- I gave help, so you should see if,
- See if you crit?
- You crit.
- It is one higher.
It's a 19 plus three, 22.
- Fig, Riz in her backpack,
Gilear standing next to her,
the Hangman motors in.
Hold on one second.
- What's it mean that I,
I'm on the Hangman.
- As your devil motorcycle
crosses the threshold,
the presence of a devil in the doorway,
the briars snatch across you.
The briars grab you, pull you through
into the other side.
Fabian and Adaine, you
are caught in the briars
and forcibly ejected.
The doorway of fire disappears.
Fig, Riz, Gilear, and the Hangman
are standing on a blasted plane
as a doorway flips into
a little bit of fire
and vanishes.
- Oh, that was bad.
- Oh dear.
- f*ck!
- Should I have gone last?
Oh wait, no I couldn't.
- Hangman, can I communicate with it?
- You reach out to the Hangman,
"Sire, where are you?
"I felt your butt leave my seat."
- Something happened!
The briar closed.
- "The warmth of your thighs
left the stride of like,"
- All right, you can turn it down.
Are you okay?
- "I can't turn it down, I'm sad!"
- You are literally the
sweetest, meanest thing ever.
Are you all okay?
- "Sire, you can hear me
from the first of the nine.
"Yes.
"We are all right."
You guys, Fig,
- I feel bad.
You didn't even want to come to hell.
- I super wanted to come to hell.
- You just don't like hell.
- A blast of fire rains from the sky.
- I cast protection from fire,
protection from fire on Riz.
- Riz, you take no damage.
You take only two points of damage.
Gilear falls to the ground dead.
- Wait, what?
- No!
- Wait, knocked out or dead?
- At zero.
- Okay.
- He's at zero hit points.
- Oh my god.
- I heal him!
- He just (making expl*si*n
noises and gasping).
- I really quick grab Gilear.
- His little barrister
wig is just burning.
- Is he still in the robe?
- Still in the robe.
- See, I told you hell was bad.
I mean, this is awesome, but this is bad.
- Hey, this is based on nothing,
but I feel like Gilear is dead.
- I only have healing word.
- I actually have the healer feat.
- Oh, you do?
- Yeah, I a long time ago
stole a first aid kit,
and Gilear got pretty mad at me
for stealing the first aid kit,
but check this out, Gilear.
- His first death saving throw in—
- Wait a minute,
- No, no, no, I'll just do the,
don't even waste your spell.
I'll healer's kit him.
- You see he,
badly burned, wig on fire,
"Oh, what happened?
"Have we been attacked?"
- Uh, that was just the rain.
Just the fire rain.
- You see the Hangman
says, "Long have I waited
"to ride this place with
my master astride me.
"And now he is gone."
- I don't wanna be part of the sad crew
where we're mad to be in hell.
How do we get your master back?
- "My master, we must,
"the portal was created for the purpose
"of this dark tribunal.
"Once the tribunal is concluded,
"they are obliged by
the ancient laws of hell
"to deposit us from whence we came."
- Okay, so I guess we just
go through the tribunal.
- You see the Hangman says,
"Pathetic elf, do you submit
to the mark of the Hangman?"
And you see that Gilear says, "Huh?"
You see that both of the skull eyes
glow with like dark
red pinpoints of light,
and he just etches a
blast of blood and fire
into a dark infernal rune
on Gilear's forehead.
He goes, "Ahhh!"
He says, "The dark dominion of this place
"shall not harm you while you stride
"in the company of a
devil of the Nine Hells."
And you see that a little red force field
kind of brrr, goes overhead as you
ping, like fire rain doesn't
touch Gilear anymore.
You're like walking under
the Hangman's protection.
Fabian sending the Hangman through
was a very smart move
in this circumstance.
- All right, well I guess
Fabian can't get mad at us
for riding the Hangman.
- All right, I hop on the Hangman.
Actually, I got my skateboard.
I kick it on my skateboard.
- Me and the Hangman go way back.
- "Ball."
- You can ride on the back of—
- Yeah, that's true.
I'm gonna take like rope and tie it around
the Hangman so I can
skateboard behind ya.
- She's gonna do kind of
a wakeboarding thing.
So it's gonna be me and
Gilear on you if that—
"My master would never, never!"
You see that Gilear says,
"Please don't make me walk,
"the rocks are so hot, and my boat shoes
"have so many holes."
- He's gonna talk about
his boat shoes a lot
if we don't ride you.
- You see that
so Gilear, The Ball and
the Hangman and he goes,
"And indignity I have
never suffered before."
- Huzzah!
- I light up a cigarette.
I put my Compass library
card behind my ear,
and I just ride it like a,
I wake board on back of it.
- You guys take off.
You guys ride to the
only kind of structure
you can see within sight.
There is a small, very small structure.
It's a massive gatehouse.
And by massive, I'm sorry,
the smallest structure
is large for a gatehouse,
but not as large as a full castle.
Two little towers, spiked
wrought iron things,
and an iron gate.
And you see that the gate house
is at the middle of an
enormous f*cking pit.
Just an open pit.
Up above you, a swirling,
smoky orifice of fire swirls in the sky.
And you see falling,
a vast torrent
of screaming, wailing, mutilated souls.
Bodies just falling out of the red sky
into this endless pit.
And as you look over the edge
you see that the gate house,
it's almost like a quarry road,
like a spiral road that goes
down the outside of the pit.
And you see doors just built into
the like craggy ledge that circles
forever and ever down.
And you just see these souls falling
into this bottomless pit.
You hear the screams of horror
as they emerge, birthed from this
fiery womb of a sky, falling.
You see that even as they fall in panic,
they grab each other and try to k*ll
and slit each other's throats
with shards of their own bones,
and beat each other to
death with their fists,
trying to like crawl out of the way
as they fall into endless darkness.
- Hey Hangman, what do
you think these guys did?
- "Um, well it's hard to say,
"but depending on what they did,
"they'll end up on various
levels of the nine hells."
- But these are bad people, right?
What we're witnessing?
- "Oh, murderers, thieves, liars,"
- The first one is way more severe
than the latter two.
- Liars, I start sweating.
- "Yes, the nine hells
seek to punish the wicked.
"Their souls will be rent asunder
"and punished, and eventually
turned into Lemures,
"the foot soldiers of hell's armies.
"Wicked, wicked souls
now come from on high."
- Checks out.
- Is this where they
decide where everyone goes?
Is that why the souls
are coming through here?
- You see he says, "This is the domain
"of Gorthalax the Insatiable.
"As insatiable as he
is, the bottomless pit,
"his castle, his dwelling place
"is as insatiable as he."
- This is your dad's house.
- "It's your dad's house,
and your dad lives here."
- Cool, I know the security code,
so I punch it in.
- He for sure would have been like,
"If you're ever in hell
for whatever reason,
"this here is the code you would use."
- It's six, six, seven.
- You already there?
- You come up and you
see there's this little
number pad and it says,
"Foolish would the mortal be
"to punch upon me numbers three, oh sh*t."
Beep, coo-coong, the doors open up.
The Hangman goes, "Great."
And you guys, (making
rushing noises) scoot in.
As you come into this,
again like this spiral thing
descending you see that your dad's house
is basically these series
of giant devilish gates
in this descending
spiral ledge going down.
- Tasteful.
- And just souls falling
forever and ever and ever.
Gilear goes, "I am so sad and scared."
He looks up at you, (dice
clattering) and goes,
- I'm here for you.
- "I'm here for you as well, daughter.
"Nice library card.
"I see you're wearing
it behind your ear now.
"That's a new choice.
"Normally there's a Clove back there."
- Well, I smoked the last Clove, so,
I needed something.
- "Well, one of your
best friends has a jacket
"that can produce anything."
- Well, one of my best friends
is in another, don't probe any deeper.
- I grab Gilear's face, and
I wanna investigate him.
I wanna like look, and
do like an insight check.
Where did you get this confidence?
- Give me a little insight check.
- Dirty 20.
- Dirty 20, he goes, "Out,
I got confidence because
"Sandra Lynn asked to sleep
with me and I said no!"
- What, what?
- You see, he says,
"She gave me a massage.
"Jawbone, they broke up,
"Jawbone and Sandra Lynn broke up."
- We don't know anything.
- Okay, first off.
- "It's more complex.
"There's a lot more
complexity to all of it.
"It sounds really bad, but it's
just complicated and adult.
"It's an adult thing.
"You're very scary, you're
very intense sometimes."
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
We're in hell, it's weird.
He said that thing about goblins before
and made me feel kinda crazy.
- The Hangman goes, "This I like."
- Well take that confidence,
well not the way that you just said that
because there was nothing
confident about that,
but take the idea of that
confidence into the courtroom.
- "Listen, I said it all too fast
"and it came across in a very bad way.
"I believe that your mother and Jawbone
"are on very good terms.
"She didn't tell me all the information,
"but they are not currently together.
"But it's more complex than that.
"I can't speak to any of it, but we—
"It was not a bad thing.
"She was very kind to me
our first night in Arborly.
"We had a conversation in
the van up until sunrise.
"You kids stayed up all night partying,
"by the way, it was very irresponsible.
"But we had a conversation
until sunrise in the van,
"which was really wonderful,
"and we said a lot of things,
"and found a lot of good things to say.
"And there was just a
moment at the very tail end,
"because we had been very tender,
"where your mother made
kind of a passing joke,
"and I said, 'No, thank you.'
"And it was also very
good after that happened,
"and everyone was happy and fine.
"But it meant a lot to me
to, fine, meh,
"sorry, it just, you know.
"Doing a lot healing, it's painful.
"Life goes up and down,
and round and round."
- It honestly makes me really happy
because for the longest
time I've felt guilty
like I actually am part of the reason
that destroyed your life.
So seeing you start to
come to terms with this
is like great.
Or like seeing you get a victory,
seeing you get the W in this situation
makes me feel a huge relief.
So yes, keep turning her down.
- You see, Gilear looks at you and says,
"You felt guilt for the
quality of my life?"
- I mean, how could I not?
I'm a living embodiment
of someone betraying you.
- "I'm going to turn my life around
"and I've been failing
you, and that's over now."
And he continues to walk down the spiral.
As he does,
there's a blast of fire and you see
Vraz the Mean appears and goes,
"Oh, are we all having a good time?"
What the f*ck was that?
You're gonna f*ck with me?
Give me another hiss.
You little f*ck Ball,
you're a little b*tch,
I'm not scared of you!
- Go on, hiss, hiss him!
- h*, you wanna see a hiss?
- His hiss was scarier.
- I have to imagine that
hell is not as bad as people say.
- Yeah, I mean Gorthalax is great.
Maybe it's like s'mores.
- They have subpoenas.
I mean, things must be organized.
- It's unfamiliar.
It's unfamiliar to us.
- Is that bad?
- I don't think so.
- Hold me back.
Hangman, hold me back.
- Meet Riz, my paralegal.
- Oh, f*ck wow,
congratulations, I'm so happy.
Are you gonna sit here,
or we gonna do the tribunal?
- Okay, what's going on with you?
Do you need a hug?
- "I don't need a f*cking
hug, I'm Vraz the Mean.
It's my title.
I'm an Aranese, I run hell.
My title is Arch Secretary.
I'm having a bad time.
- Yeah, well I'm Riz the Ball,
I'm just gonna roll with this.
We're here, we're here
for your trial thing.
- Go off The Ball, go off.
- I don't know why
I'm saying this,
- Hold me back, hold me back.
- but, go Ball, go Ball.
- You see that Gilear says,
"I'm holding, I'm holding,
"I'm holding you back,
I'm holding you back."
- I'm pushing you forward.
Get into it.
- Vraz the Mean walks
you into a tribunal room
where there is a small
little three seat bench,
like a judges bench where she walks up.
There is a
vaguely humanoid figure,
hold on one sec, there is a
vaguely humanoid figure there
that is just like a giant mound of chains.
But you see that there's clearly like
chains coiled where arms would be
and like torso and head,
but it's just way too many chains.
So it's like there's someone under there,
but it's just a big pile of chains.
And you can see it kind of
moving with a lot of strain.
And then next to it, where
the third seat would be,
there's no one at eye level.
There's instead just
a jet black iron spike
and about 10 feet up there is a
naked person who has incredibly pale skin,
is like bone thin,
and just has pale translucent
veins all over them,
who's impaled on the
spike about 10 feet up
looking at the spike
coming out of their stomach
and just kind of kicking and screaming.
Just ahh, ahh, ahh!
Just screaming in the background.
- Tasteful.
- It can't be
as bad as people say.
- No, I don't think so.
Honestly but it's so, they're
just in a waiting room.
- I mean, heaven and hell
are just reflections of each other, right?
- You know what, you know what?
Whoa.
You know what? Whoa.
- You were in heaven
and it was pretty nice.
- Probably like a sauna, right?
- It actually kinda sucked.
- Oh, so yeah maybe hell's good.
- Anyway, Tracker, I'm
glad I'm here with you.
- You see Vraz the Mean calls
the tribunal into order.
She says, "Presiding
hereby in the matter of
"Gorthalax's infernal
domain, the bottomless pit.
"Vraz the
Mean, Executor Potentate,
"Arch Secretary of Blozo the Undiminished
"Regnate of Sloth with me.
"In co-jurorship are
Kaistrana the Chained,
"and Lorzug the Impaled."
You see that the guy Lorzug
the Impaled just goes
"Aaaaaahhhhhh!"
- Oh.
- You hear underneath the chains
Kaistrana the Chained go, "Present."
You see that Raz says,
"Very well, today concerns
"the issue of Gorthalax's
infernal negligence
"in administering his domain.
"Nine notices have been
sent, nine fully ignored.
"We hearby call forth the
witness Figeroth Faeth.
"Firstborn daughter of
Gorthalax the Insatiable."
- I do a, everyone applaud.
- She says, "This is a f*cking hearing,
you nitwit, there's no audience."
- I light a cigarette and
skateboard to the stand.
- You guys all go forward.
She goes, "God, (growling
maniacally) okay,
"are you aware of an intention
"on the behalf of your father,
Gorthalax the Insatiable
"to intentionally neglect his dominion
"over the bottomless
pit under the rulership
"of Blozo, Regnate of Sloth?"
- That, I am not.
I need to message Riz and
say, "I think I'm just
"gonna tell them he's in a gem."
- That's a good idea.
- He's currently in a gem.
It's not negligence, he
has a lack of ability
to even be here, he's
been trapped in a gem.
- You see that she says, "Huh, okay."
You see that she looks over and says,
"Kaistrana, is that
extenuating circumstance,
"anything you have to do?"
See Kaistrana goes, "Hold on, I'm gonna
"try to shrug."
Shoulders go up a little
bit, come back down.
You see that Vraz goes, "Okay, I'm going,
"we might need a ruling on this,
"because if he was trapped by celestials
"or by demons or something,
that's obviously gonna be different."
And you see she says, "I'm gonna get
"on the horn with Blozo.
"Blozo is not coming.
"He said there's crazy traffic.
"Okay.
"Who trapped Gorthalax
the Insatiable in a gem?"
- The, Kalina.
Kalina used a proxy to trap Gorthalax.
Kalina, AKA Shadow Cat, hijacked a body,
and used it to trap
- Demons!
- to trap with the assistance of demons.
- Very cool.
Vraz the Mean gets a plus
13 to her insight check.
I'm now going to roll in the Box of Doom.
- What does she need to get?
- This is gonna set a
number for Fig to beat.
- Okay, roll your thing.
I'm not gonna—
- She rolled a natural 10.
- Great, and Fig rolled a natural 20.
- You had two good rolls?
- I had one good roll.
- Yes!
- One mediocre roll.
- Thank you Adaine, I
knew you were my lawyer.
- You get a nat 20 deception.
- I put my feet up on the—
- Is it a deception now?
- It is.
- Oh, 'cause—
- I mean I said it, it's true
she used a proxy.
- Insight, and then she had
to beat it with deception.
- It is, I'm gonna say it's deception
because you're not saying it was you,
right?
- Okay, cool, cool.
- Oh right, it was technically you.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I know.
- Cool.
You see that Vraz looks around and says,
"Okay, that's
extenuating circumstances.
"Kalina."
- She's in cahoots with the demons.
- "All right.
"Well, in that case
Gorthalax will be able to
"avoid punishment, but the nine hells
"are not responsible to keep his realm
"in tact indefinitely.
"And if he's been taken by allies
"of the Tenari of the Abyss,
"then we have to seek another Regnant
"for the Bottomless Pit.
"This tribunal is called to recess
"while bylaws are consulted."
Blam, blam.
- I need passage for some people,
and we need to get to Sylvaire.
- "Oh, because the trial's
over when I call a recess?
"Recess means the whole tribunal's over?"
- I thought we were—
- "Do you know what words mean?
"Do you know what words mean?"
- I didn't,
- Oh my god.
- Okay, first off,
- Huhhhh?
- You called somebody in
the middle of a trial,
that was weird!
- Hold me back, Hangman.
Hold me back, hold me back.
- Hangman just like runs over your foot.
- I bet it's like five
degrees hotter there.
- It's like a dry heat.
- They're getting pina coladas.
- You see Vraz looks over,
and says, "All right,
imprison the mortals."
You see that the Hangman speaks up—
- We can work with a prison.
- And you see that
the Hangman speaks up and says,
"With your leave, Arch Secretary,
"we have been given passage
to the Bottomless Pit
"as Figeroth Faeth is daughter
"of Gorthalax the Insatiable."
You hear Kaistrana go,
"Do you have any proof?"
And the Hangman says,--
- I'll just like take some blood.
That's Gorthalax's blood.
- You see the blood comes out of you,
touches the ground, it hits the ground,
sizzles, and turns into a blood red imp,
like a little scorpion-tailed imp
who goes, "Ah, Mistress!"
- Hi, cutie!
- "Aha!"
- Hi cutie.
- I'm gonna tickle him behind the ears.
Is he taller than The Ball?
- He is that big.
He is way smaller than Riz.
- Way bigger than a drop of blood.
- You see he goes, "I am Retchrot,
"I shall be your valet while you are here
"in the bottomless pit."
- Is this proof enough to the tribunal?
- You're all under house arrest.
Don't leave the Bottomless Pit
until we figure this out.
Click click, and you
see that she vanishes.
- Thanks for the help, Gilear.
- "I got so scared in the middle.
"I got really scared
in the middle of that."
- That obviously went fine.
It was a trial in hell.
We're not dead.
- Yeah, we're not dead.
Thanks to Adaine, I feel.
- Honestly, Adaine, you actually did like
send like a portent, a
string of fate after Fig
as the door closed.
- Still thinking about Adaine, huh.
- I'm picturing that imp
looking like a really
like famous mouse.
I can't say the name of it,
but imagine a tiny, it's in
like a little like suspenders.
Hi cutie.
- I picture it looking like a red Boggy.
- Ohhh!
- Little fat but like really long legs.
- Yeah.
- Stop, that's so cute.
- Retchrot says, "Would you like to be
"shown to your quarters?"
- Yeah, also, do you know
how to get around here?
- "Yes, many doors there
are in the Bottomless Pit,
"and I would be happy to show you
"each and every one."
- Yeah, we wanna see the door to Arborly.
- "I don't know if we have that door,
"but we can look."
- You have more like doors
to the different levels of hell?
- "Let me be super clear.
"The doors just go to rooms."
- Oh, just like, oh, okay.
- "The doors go to rooms in the pit."
- Okay.
- "Some hallways,--
- Is there a hot tub here?
- "Yes!"
- A door goes to Kalina.
Like right where she is no matter what.
- "You're not even here!"
You see.
- I guess we could just
go to a regular room.
We're gonna cut back to Arborly
after the f*cking door closes.
- That was bad, that was bad.
- Gorgug just runs into the briar.
- Gorgug, stop.
It's not gonna work.
- Hey Fabian.
- Yes?
- I'm sorry, I just realized
do you know where your dad is in hell?
- Somewhere, but I don't
worry about my father.
I mean, he's sailing,
you know, he cut open
what's his name, Goldenhoard
and he's probably
sailing around, you know, running schemes.
I mean, he's probably having a great time.
I miss him, don't get me wrong.
But he's thriving.
- What do we do?
- Well, we can't do anything here.
- None of us has plane shift.
- We can do something.
- Why don't we go
can I do an arcana check on the mural?
- Yeah, give me an arcana check.
- Ooh, great call.
- Uh, 26.
- It's so small!
- They're little tiny dice.
- 26?
- Yes.
- Oh, it's incredible.
You see the cottage, the coin,
a couple of things there.
- Are there distinguishing
features on this coin?
- The coin?
- Yes.
It's all of the stuff in the—
- Sorry, you don't see a coin here,
it's the spell book.
- Oh, the spell book.
Is there a mark on the spell book
that is like a distinguishing mark?
- With a 26 arcana, yes there is.
- Great.
- You see a little occult rune there.
And that occult rune,
you are able to memorize.
Give me another,
give me another arcana
check, if you'd be so kind.
- You're doing great.
Hey, I would love to help.
- Help action, cool, go for it.
- Great.
Yeah, because this is
our two skills together,
arcana and religion.
Oh, that's two 18s.
Another 26.
- Cool.
You recognize the symbol,
it's in your notes somewhere.
- Oh, no.
- Not your notes physically,
but like in Adaine's stuff.
- Oh, okay great.
- Do you have stone shape or anything?
To like reach in?
- No, I don't.
I have erupting earth,
but I don't think that would be useful.
Why don't we go,
we could go look at the
place that Sandra Lynn found.
- Oh.
- Cool.
- Sure.
- Sandra Lynn looks
and says, "Is Fig okay?
"Are you able to—"
- Yeah, Hangman.
- "Sire."
- Is everyone all right?
- "Yeah, we're going to a hot tub."
- Oh!
- Only me, only me.
- Sounds really nice.
- "I want to go too."
- That sucks, we should be in hell.
- Man, we have three hot tubs.
Well two, one of them is shrimp defiled.
- I like a really hot hot tub.
And I bet they crisp ya there.
- I like a warm hot tub.
It's rough on my skin.
- Well warm is nice
because you can stay in there for longer.
- Yes, exactly.
- You want it to be hot at first but—
- If it's just warm I'm like
what's cookin' in here, you know?
- Cool, Sandra Lynn brings you to
the spot where they went through the wall.
Anyone who wants to hear,
give me a nature check.
- I would love to.
- Yeah, me too.
- I mean, can I do,
can I do any kind of investigation
around the house?
- Can you kinda what?
- Any kind of investigation
around the house,
or is this like totally a
dead end.
- You can do that.
I'm gonna finish with the people
that are in Arborly,
and then we'll cut back to hell.
- Could I make a survival check?
- Yeah, actually survival's great too.
- 19.
- 19.
- Nine.
- A 14.
- 14.
- With survival, that's a 21.
- Dammit.
- Go ahead, if you would be so kind,
and give me a
sorry, one second,
give me a roll for Tracker as well,
if you would be so kind.
- 'Lil bean.
- g*dd*mn bean.
- Oh, interesting.
- Tracker's 'lil beans?
- So I don't know what you add to it,
but Tracker rolled a
five on the little beans.
- Five on the little beans.
- But you got a what again, sorry?
- 21.
- Oh, you got a 21, okay.
You're looking at it from here.
This is farther away from Arborly
by a good distance.
As you look, the growth
of the briar wall here
seems a lot more tangled, if anything.
On a 21 nature check, you also see
that the geography here changes.
This is actually up a cliff.
You know that the terrain
moving in the dir-
if they are indeed going to the temple
where you think they are going to,
the terrain would be a lot rockier.
- Going this way.
- Yeah, going from where they went.
It looks like they were trying to
avoid Arborly or avoid
entering in a sensible place
where people would go look for them.
They wanted to be somewhere way off.
But you think it will
probably slow them down,
to be going the way they're going.
- Great.
- Yeah, that's great news.
That's great news.
Can I start messaging?
Should we, while we're waiting for them
hopefully to come back,
should we start doing some of this
like prepping or
- For the tincture?
Yes, but we should do it in the Hallow,
because if we start doing it
Kalina will be able to
see through your eyes
that you're doing that.
- Yeah, yes.
- We got all the stuff.
- Or we could do drugs.
- Or, we could get high.
- Sandra Lynn says, "What are you guys
"messaging about right now?"
- Well, just Spring break.
- Spring break.
- The idea of Spring break.
- Conceptually.
- You know what we
think we should get you?
A massage.
We think we should send you to
the hot tub.
- Good idea.
- And have someone massage you.
Spa day.
Cucumbers over your eyes.
- They definitely have
that here somewhere.
- Cucumbers on your ears.
- Those weird gnomes will probably
be pounding you or something.
- Dinky gnomes all over your body.
- They walk on your back.
- Yeah, the little bells jingle.
It's very meditative.
- "I'm gonna go to one of
the hot tubs at Holly Hill,
"let's get out of here."
- Okay yeah, let's get back there.
- I have a lot of
homework to do in the van.
- Yeah.
- What kind of homework?
- We gotta write an essay on
what spring break means to us.
- You guys head back to the van.
You start doing stuff for the tinctures.
Fabian, you hear a little
thing from the Hangman
saying, "Oh, Sire,"
- Uh, yes.
- "I am so sorry I failed you."
- No, no,
- "and Adaine today."
- No, you didn't.
I mean, we had no idea
that the briar would react
in the way that it did.
And honestly I should have been more,
you know, light on my feet.
- "Do you
"wish for me to
"attempt to send word to your father?"
- Uh oh.
You know I was thinking about that.
I mean, if it's convenient.
I mean, I'm sure he's busy doing things,
and you know I'm kinda doing
my own thing right now,
and I mean, would I love
to talk to him, of course,
he's my papa.
Um, yeah, just like, but like don't be
needy about it, you know.
If it can happen, it can happen,
but it doesn't need to happen, you know.
I don't need this,
it wouldn't like fill me with joy.
Okay yeah, it would fill me with joy.
Yes, yes, yes please, please do it.
- "I shall accomplish this task, Sire."
Anyone else?
You've got work to do.
Tracker's helping you.
- Great, I was thinking
maybe if it's not crazy,
you guys can go through your coins?
- Yeah, can I—
- I don't know if that's a tedious task,
or maybe it's something
we can do on the road.
- I mean, we don't have
all of our money with us.
We each have 10.000 coins,
- If this is message,
- But we're in the Hallow.
- Okay.
I think that they are,
my guess is that from what I understood
about that scenario was that
we should look for sure,
but I thought that maybe
they already grabbed it.
- Can I look
up in these notes what this rune means?
- You start to look up
what the rune means.
As you do,
you recognize that you saw,
it was in your notes because there was
something you were copying when you were
doing the sending spell.
This rune was in a lot of
stuff at Compass Points,
like Ayda had studied this.
You don't remember what it is
but you know that Ayda
would know what it is.
- Okay, I don't have sending right now,
but as soon as we take a long rest,
I can get it and then I can contact Ayda.
- Should I go check in on my phone
and see if it's ready, my crystal?
- Didn't they say it would take
like a day or two?
- Yeah, nevermind.
- They did say they were doing that
without your help though.
- Okay, well since I'm stuck here
maybe I'll go help 'em.
- Yeah, go ahead.
- Cool.
Do you want
to sniff this before you go?
- What is it?
Is that the stuff?
- Is that the dusk moss?
- It might be dusk moss.
- I don't think I could do it.
- You see Ragh comes in, shirtless.
He looks like he sweat about
like 10 gallons of water out of his body.
He goes, "I'm really, I'm really thirsty."
- Are you still tripping?
- I think I'm okay.
- I get him some water.
- "Everything in the world
"is connected, everything."
- Yeah, see these drugs
I think I could do.
The dragon spice stuff,
very bad anxiety-wise.
This stuff I think would help.
- This seems sweet.
- "Adaine, for real?
"I can never be anxious again,
"because I don't even know if I can
"ever be fully in my body again."
- That sounds scary.
- "No, no, I'm part of
the universe, dude."
- Here's some water, man.
- "I gotta go to sleep."
And he walks off.
- I don't know if I'm,
I just, I think I'm—
- I just kinda would feel bad
if we did it without the others.
- I gotta focus on the
tincture, yeah, totally.
- I might, I mean, it only takes me
four hours to trance.
- Gorgug sprints to the-
- I might as well start.
If the guys come back
before four hours is up,
that's fine, I've had a short rest.
If not, I've had a long rest,
and I can get sending.
- Great.
- You start doing your long
rest to get that sending.
Gorgug, you go back to
the Tinkerer's Hall.
Go ahead, if you would be so kind
as you approach they excitedly,
"Ah, it's Gorgug Thistlespring!"
- I'm back.
- I'm back.
- Krumpkin.
- So you just start working
with them that night
on boosting your cell phone up.
It is very helpful that you're here,
just because they don't know
how a f*cking crystal works.
- It's crazy that I let you guys do this.
- "We like figuring it out."
- It's probably so much easier that I—
- I'd like you to give
me a Tinkerer's check.
I'm looking,
week, a miracle can happen on a DC 20.
On a DC 15, on a DC15,
and we'll do Box of Doom.
On a DC 20, a miracle can happen.
DC 15 means progress gets made.
- Hiyah!
- And they're rolling with advantage.
- What is that, 10?
- That's 10.
- Okay, I'm rolling with advantage?
- Yes, you're rolling with advantage.
- So that's 15.
- That's 15, so progress.
That's a nat 20.
- She loves you and she'll never leave.
- Wow.
- Wow.
- There are
- Yeah, there are some poetic
poetic f*cking rolls today.
You are up all night sweating.
You got like, probably
one of the first times
you've taken your hoodie
off in a long time.
You're like just hot.
You're like working with
You get a new crystal pack
on the back of this phone,
and you have a crystal that can
directly interface with
your parents' satellite.
- Holy sh*t.
Power it on.
I see if I got like any old
messages coming through.
- Brrring, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,
I mean tons.
Some from Zelda, not
any recent from Zelda.
But just tons have come through.
Parents checking in.
So many email forwards from your folks,
and pictures of stuff.
A lot of like tour date stuff for
Fig and the Cig Figs.
- Cool, yeah.
- Great, awesome.
Awesome, awesome.
I will give Zelda a call.
- Hoo boy.
I'm gonna do, we're gonna do
another Box of Doom roll.
- I'm sorry, that's not
a good relationship.
If you're having to roll
this many Box of Dooms for
your relationship, scary.
- We're gonna do another
Box of Doom roll right now.
You have advantage.
This is going to be a flat charisma check.
It's gonna be a flat charisma check,
we need Box of Doom, you have advantage.
- Okay.
I don't want—
Hiyah.
- 18.
- Hiyah.
- Eight.
Cool.
- 18, and I add my charisma which is zero.
And then creatures have a disadvantage
on charisma based checks against me.
If that matters.
- No, that's not gonna
matter here, necessarily.
- 18's good.
- Yeah.
- That's good, that's charismatic.
- I'm feeling good.
I made it work.
I'm a genius.
- Cool.
You come back, hold on one second.
Hold on.
You come back, and you
hold on one second.
You give a little call.
I know which song I'm looking for.
- Oh no.
- Not a great one to hear.
- Give a little call,
are you doing video call
or just a voice call?
- Oh, I didn't realize
video call was an option.
Yeah, I'll do video call.
- Bee dee dee dee deep.
Bee dee dee dee deep.
- I'll put my hoodie back on.
- Bee dee dee dee deep.
Bee dee dee dee deep.
- Oh, Gorgug, I love you.
- Bee dee dee dee deep.
Bee dee dee dee deep.
Bee dee dee dee deep.
Bee dee dee dee deep.
Bluh bluh blink.
First thing you see is
a house in Elmville,
it's night there as well.
There's like a party going on.
You see Zelda has little ear buds in.
She's walking out, and she goes,
looking at this phone, "Gorgug?"
- Hey, Zelda, hey, can you hear me?
- "Yeah, are you back in Spyre?"
- I'm not.
I'm still stuck outside of the forest
of the Nightmare King,
but I figured out how
to make my phone work.
I got my crystals working now.
- "Wait, you made your?
"Was that part of the quest?"
- Not part of the quest.
Part of a personal quest if you will.
Yeah, it just felt important to be able to
talk to you and talk to the world,
and talk to you.
- You see, she goes,
"Well how did it work?
"Do they have cell towers
and stuff out there?
"You got to service or something?"
- No, so I figured out how to kind of
artifice stuff while we were gone.
I've been working on that pretty much
the whole time, pretty much.
And yeah, I figured it out.
And I met these gnomes.
Hey guys, these are the
dudes I've been working with.
- "Hello!"
- This is Krumpkin.
- "I'm Krumpkin Springbill,
"the Head Artificer of the
Tinkerer's Hall of Arborly."
- Awesome, yes.
All right, so,
so these guys have been helping me out,
and we figured out how to
use my parents' satellite.
It's complicated.
Honestly, I don't know
that I understand it
well enough to explain
it to another person.
- You see that Zelda nods,
and one of her eyes is
covered with her hair,
but the other eye wells up with tears
and some tears come down.
And she says, "You like took,
"so like the reason that you like
"went to get your phone,
"you did like a whole bunch of new science
"to like make your phone
be able to call back?"
- Yeah, I mean, yeah.
How are you?
What's going on?
What did I miss?
- "I'm really sorry, I'm
so sorry I got so upset.
"You're the best, Gorgug,
I really miss you so much."
- Hey, I miss you too.
I feel like, um, god it's been
a long spring break, right?
- "I can't believe," you see she looks up
and she goes, "Stop, go
away, go away, go away!"
And you see that she looks up,
you hear a bunch of the
seven maidens call out
and say, "Good lookin' out, Gorgug,
"stand-up thing to do.
"You did it."
And she says, "I'm so embarrassed.
"My friends, I told my adventuring party
"that you were calling and
they followed me outside,"
- They followed you?
- "I'm so f*cking embarrassed,
it's so stupid.
- Well hello, guys.
- You see, she's like, "Go get the f*ck
"out of here, I'm
talking to my boyfriend."
And you see she says, "Oh, I'm so sorry,
"look, I just,
"your friends aren't like in danger?
"You're not like f*cking
stuff by like building—"
- We're pretty f*cked right now.
- She says, "Because you
went and did the phone?
"I'm so stupid,
"You don't have to do that."
- It's separate.
It's just an also,
it's not like because of this.
- "You're not putting anyone in danger
"by doing this phone stuff?"
- No, no, no, this is actually like
a good bit of downtime for me.
And I'm also, what's great about this is
I can help what we're actually
working on right now with this,
so it's like, you know,
sometimes things are good
in more than one way.
- She looks and says, "Um,
"I love, I love you."
- I um, I love you—
- "You don't, you don't
have to say it back.
"No, no, no, you don't
have to say it back.
"God it's so stupid, I
jumped the g*n, I'm sorry.
"I've just been really,
"the Red Waste was super hard.
"We did the,
- really?
- "Yeah, we did it.
"I think we're gonna
get a good grade on it."
- Awesome.
- "Um,"
- yeah, well.
- "I didn't mean to say
I love you on the phone."
- I love you too.
I love you too.
- You see that she
wipes another tear away.
Oh, I just wanna,
I just wish you were here in person.
- Yeah, me too.
I haven't figured out that technology yet
to make me there.
- "You don't have to do that."
- We'll work on it.
- She smiles, she looks back and says,
"Um, we're at another
party at Ostentatia's."
- Oh yeah, for sure.
- "It's super, everyone's
telling the story
"of how you jumped that fire elemental
"and like backyard wrestling smashed the
"beer pong table when time we stopped."
- Fully forgot about that.
That was,
- So f*cking cool.
- That was awesome.
- You're really f*cking cool, Gorgug.
- Hey, you're cool.
I mean, I want to hear more about
the Red Waste, but now that
I got the phone working
I also feel like I
should probably get back
to the group and, you know,
- Do it.
- Handle some business.
We can talk sooner than later.
- "You have a full quest.
"Honestly, just whenever
you have downtime,
"if you want to sh**t me a text,
"and I'll try to sh**t you stuff too."
- Awesome.
I just have to say this,
just in case it doesn't work.
We'll probably go into the
forest of the Nightmare King
pretty soon, so I don't
know if the service thing
will hold up there.
It's worth mentioning, just in case.
I'm here to communicate.
- She smiles and shakes
her head and she's like,
"You're really great.
"I'm sorry I was freaked out.
"I only was freaked out
because I really, really
"care about you.
"And this means a lot to me."
- Means a lot to me too.
And well, I hope
I'll talk to you tomorrow, I guess,
and we'll just keep chatting
and I'll see you when I get back.
- "I'll chat with you tomorrow, Gorgug.
"Good night."
- I'm dead.
Awesome, love you too.
- Bloop bip, your phone.
The gnomish Tinkerer's Hall erupts into
just like incredible, just like "Hooray!
"It worked, it worked, incredible!"
- It works!
She said she loves me!
- They pop a bunch of champagne bottles
that are filled with this bright pink fizz
that smells just like
reeking sweet strawberry.
- Wow.
- Just like, "Let's have some gnome wine."
Incredible.
- Awesome.
Do I know Ayda's phone number?
I run back to the—
- Ayda doesn't have a phone,
she's papyrusing.
- Of course.
- But you know, you, Zelda,
- I'll do a little gnome wine.
- Your gnome does start getting messages
not texts, because I don't know that they
would have your number,
but on social stuff you start getting
a bunch of DMs from
the other seven maidens
being like, "Way to go, big guy."
Like, a bunch of like—
You get back to the van,
Adaine, you awake,
or not awake, you come out of trance
in the middle of the night
because you gotta jump on it.
You have that sending spell.
- Yes, let me just roll my div rolls.
Very interesting.
Yes, I am going to
sending to Ayda Auguefort,
I should have been working this out
while other people were talking.
Avast ye scurvy devil,
because that doesn't count for anything.
How is plane shift going?
Also, need info on rune
that looks like,
and then I describe what
the rune looks like?
- You get a response back
immediately from Ayda
that says, "I'm not a scurvy devil,
"let's use the synod."
And then the last thing she says is,
"Right jacket pocket."
- I put my hand in my right jacket pocket.
- Put it in your right jacket pocket.
A key, made of glowing
blue crystalline energy
emerges into your hand.
And as it does, you see that
just a nearby keyhole on a door
starts to glow slightly blue.
- Oh, I go through the door.
- You step into an endless starry void.
Clear glass with a little
shimmer of luminescence
leads up to a massive like
200 foot wide carved disc
of glass hanging in space.
Tall crystal menhirs and dolmens,
like carved standing stones that are
none of it is like craggy or crystalline
in that kind of naturally forming way.
All looks very intentional shaped
perfect glass and crystal with this
clear and just the slightest tinge
of blue luminescence to it.
With a bunch of staircases
that just lead away,
and the staircases just abruptly end.
Your staircase leaves this like sort of
crackling blue door.
Another door opens on one of
the ends of the stair cases
and you see that Ayda walks through.
- What is this place?
This is amazing.
- "This is the Synod of Spyre."
She's pronouncing it,
so synod is how it's pronounced,
but it's S-Y-N-O-D.
- Yes, so it's a church thing.
- It looks like it
might just in this sense
mean like a forum or council.
- Oh, okay.
- Syn from like synthesis and
just meaning together, right?
She hands you a scroll that has
a new first level spell on it
for you to copy into your spell book.
- Oh, thank you.
What is this?
- "This is a wizard's spell
"to grant access to the synod.
"It's basically if you
need a meeting space
"for other wizards.
"It's extremely useful.
"It's very interesting
that you reached out to me.
"I almost about to reach
out to you, actually,
"because I need some of
your auracular abilities
"and help as well.
"But you have a rune issue that you'd like
"to talk to me about."
- Yes.
We found, I guess I probably
drew a picture of the rune.
This rune on a book, and
I remembered seeing it
in the Compass Points Library,
but I don't remember what it meant.
- You see she looks at it and says,
"Fascinating.
"That rune is
"abjurative magic, not protective.
"Abjurations split into two
primary functions of the school.
"As you are well aware,
"which is protective
magic, wards and shields,
"and also metamagic,
magic that interacts with
"and shapes the nature of magic itself."
- Yes, I knew that, but
thank you for re-explaining,
because it's always good to redo.
- "It's always good to know.
"And I know that you know.
"Have I offended you?"
- I love talking about magic.
- "Have I offended you,
or have I said something,
"are you mad at me?"
- I think you're great.
- "You're my best friend."
- You're my best friend.
Where did you go the other night?
- "I am in trouble, I need help."
- Oh dear.
- "Do I,
"Let us resolve the issue of the rune
"while I am untroubled emotionally,
"and then I will divulge the rest.
"This rune is an abjurative rune,
"that involves
"abjuration magic, specifically curses.
"Judging by this rune,"
and you in your books have seen this thing
like in some of the
notes that your mom had,
the coin that was given
by the Nightmare King
to Kalvaxus had this rune on it
that was also on the spell book
of the goddess in the temple.
- Right.
- She says,
"This is a way to mask
powerful curses and spells.
"You can take a tremendous
amount of spell craft,
"and in fact the ability
to cast multiple spells,
"put it into a curse, and have that curse
"ride other curses.
"Basically use another curse to—"
- Oh, hide underneath the curse.
- "Exactly.
"And the larger and more
sort of permeable a curse is,
"the more that curse would be able to
"ride under the other one."
- Strange.
- "What are you thinking
of in this moment?"
- Well, I just know that
Gorthalax was in a gem that had a curse
underneath the curse.
But that might be a coincidence.
I mean, curses are 10 a penny.
- "Yes."
- So I don't know.
Is this just a strange coincidence?
- "Ten a penny, that's, yes.
"It's a metaphor."
- It means common, curses are common.
- "No, no, I put it together in my head,
"but it took me a moment,
"and then I didn't laugh right away."
You see that she says, "Interesting.
"So I would say that if this is connected
"to a magical object that you're aware of,
"that object would have been a curse
"that was a vessel for a
wealth of other spell casting
"riding under the surface
of a larger curse."
- Right.
Weird.
- Weird.
Not normal.
- No.
- You see that she looks the you and says,
- Clever.
- "Very clever."
- So, if somebody were to look at it
they would think that it was one curse.
But actually, it's sort
of like a zip drive.
- "A what?"
- It's uh,
it's like a bag of holding for curses.
- "Absolutely, yes,
"a bag of holding for
curses is exactly right.
"It would work best under
a very large static curse.
"The more volatile a curse is,
"if there was a curse
that for example could be
"ended easily, or that had
"spell effects happening regularly,
"the volatility of that
curse would make it
"not an ideal candidate for hiding behind.
"You would want the larger dummy curse,
"you would want it to
be something ambient,
"passive, not from necessarily like
"a first hand spell caster.
"The kind of curse that's created more
"by magical landscapes or creatures
"than by a spell caster."
- Oh, like the wall around the
forest of the Nightmare King, maybe?
- "Potentially."
You see she says, "A
fascinating arcane riddle.
"Thank you so much for bringing it."
- How is your research going?
- "I'm working as fast
as I can on plane shift
"to get it done as fast as possible."
- Great, because
Riz and Fig and the Hangman and Gilear
did get sort of sucked into hell,
which is fine, I think.
It's just a little,
- "What?"
- It's fine.
- "It doesn't sound fine."
- No, no, no, because Fig's
- "It sounds very upsetting."
- Dad is from hell, so it's fine.
- "It sounds very upsetting."
- No, no, no.
We have discussed it,
and we're pretty sure
that hell is just a reflection of heaven,
and so both of them are not nearly
as good or bad,
- "We have to go to hell
"to rescue Fig."
- No, no, no, she's fine.
- "Yes, we do."
- She's from hell.
- "Yes we do.
"She's not from hell, she's from Spyre."
- I mean, are you sure?
That you have to go?
What information do you have?
- Well, we should just do
whatever we can to make it happen
as fast as possible because I'm going to
get another kiss, whatever happens.
- What?
- What?
- What?
- "Is it normal for friends to know
"if their friends have kissed other people
"that they also know?"
- Yes, tell me everything about it.
- "Great, we went away for
an hour from the party."
- An hour?
You were kissing for an hour?
- "You're elongating your sentences
"and pitching up so high
"that it makes me feel
like I'm not supposed—"
- I support this.
I am happy about it.
I am amazed.
Ooh, she's secretive.
- "It's good that you know this, right?"
- Yes, it's very good that I know this.
- You see she says, "Wonderful.
"Her lips are softest things
"I've ever felt."
- Mm-mm, mm-mm.
- "That's not good?"
- Well no, I'm glad that you,
I don't need to know details—
- "What's critical information?
- about my friends kissing.
You're right, I did,
I did tell you to tell me everything,
and then you did,
and I actually didn't
need to know everything.
Wow.
- "I have some questions
for you as Oracle."
- Yes, okay.
- "In how many potential futures
"does Fig not want to kiss me
"and be around me anymore?
"And can those futures be avoided?"
- Oh, I wish I could tell you.
Unfortunately that's not really
how being the Oracle works.
It's more of a I can help out a little bit
every day and then every now and again
I get a potentially terrifying vision,
but I don't know when that's going
to happen or why.
- "Terrible.
"If someone kisses you,
"does that mean defacto that
they are attracted to you,
"or is there a possibility
"that someone would kiss
you for some other reason?"
- I think
from a purely academic standpoint,
- "Perfect, I am an academic."
- Fantastic.
I would say that on a macro level
there are probably people who kiss you
without caring about you,
but I don't think that Fig would do that,
because Fig cares about everybody.
- "Are you saying this as Oracle,
"or because you have knowledge of Fig
"that would lead you to this conclusion."
- Yes.
- "Both, excellent."
You see that she says,
"If we kissed a bunch of times
"over the course of an hour,
"does that mean we are
girlfriends or wives?
- I'm gonna say no on wives.
- "Good, there's a
ceremony, that's formal."
- Yes.
- "Much easier, a better system."
- Girlfriends, I would say
lots of times over the course of an hour,
I think potentially,
but I think that it's reasonable
to ask to clarify.
- "Mm-hmm.
"Okay, and if I were to ask Fig to clarify
"if we are girlfriends
or dating each other,
"will that make me on a social level
"look sad, weird, or not normal?"
- I don't think
that you should worry about,
the first answer is no.
But also, if you like a person,
and they like you,
and the relationship is good,
it shouldn't matter
how other people feel about it.
I think.
- "The variables involved in
the equation you've posited
"are so fuzzy as to be maddening."
- I don't think you are sad or weird.
And I think that you dating,
- "Thank you."
- I think you're very, very cool.
- "I think you're very, very cool."
- It's so nice to talk about
the kind of magic that I do
with somebody else who
gets it and is not mean.
- "Are you someone who also worries about
"having a mind that maybe would be
"foreign to a lot of people and—"
- I don't know if I worry about it,
it's just a point of
everyday existence for me.
I mean, I worry about everything.
- "Yes."
- But it's not
it's not a peak worry for me.
- "I understand.
"It's nice to have a person who
"understands, and even
if we're not the same,
"understanding that
we're both not the same,
"and what being not the same feels like
"makes me feel like we're the same.
"And that's good."
- And it's okay that we're all different.
I mean, I love all of my friends,
and they can do things that I can't do,
and I can do things that they can't do.
- "You're
a very special person,
"and your friendship
means the world to me.
"I hope we study magic together
for a long, long time."
- Yes, me too.
Thank you for this key.
This place is so cool.
I know I keep on saying it,
but I can't believe that,
this place is so cool.
- "It's extremely cool,
and I like to be here.
"It's a good place to go
when you want to be alone
"because you live on a
dirty pirate island."
- Oh, I understand that
because I always want to be alone
a lot of the time.
Except when I don't
and I really want to be with other people.
It's very confusing.
Anxiety is a very confusing thing.
I want to be alone
and also surrounded by
my friends at all times.
- "That contradiction and paradox
"is something that I have studied
"many times myself."
- Oh, fascinating.
Do you have notes?
- "About how my mind works? Yes.
- Yes, no, friendship.
Hmm, uh...
- "Oh, what do you have?
"I have an entire friendship section
"I built in the library
"because I was so lonely."
- Oh, wow.
- "Is that strange to have revealed that?"
- No.
I think that's a great thing.
- "I love you too, you're my best friend."
- Yes.
- "If I don't smell Fig's hair again
"I'm going to incinerate.
"And so I need to finish
plane shift right now."
- Yes, please do.
Yes, that would be good.
- "Very well.
"Oracle, this council of
the synod is concluded."
- Farewell.
- "Farewell."
- And that's all for this
week on Fantasy High.
Tune in next week.
- I know a secret!
- Well look at that.
- It's gonna get out, dude.
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07x13 - Hellbound
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.