(that classic Unsleeping City
theme music we love so much)
- [Brennan] Hello, one and all.
Welcome back to another exciting episode
of The Unsleeping City.
I'm your humble dungeon
master Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me as always, our intrepid heroes.
Say hi, intrepid heroes.
- [Crew] Hi, intrepid heroes.
- Last we left off, our
champions of New York City
found themselves confronting the vastness
of all of these threats
facing The Unsleeping City.
And New York itself connected
through a discovered hard drive
in the offices of Excelsior Dynamic Homes,
a company owned outright
by Gladiator Industries.
Taking these with Wally Claus,
to Santa Claus's brother's house,
a civil litigator and
vampire named David Kugrich.
We discovered that the
horrifying force at work
in the sixth borough,
which our heroes have yet to venture into,
is connected powerfully
to Gladiator Industries.
It seems that the poison
in the waking world
and the poison in the realms beyond
are themselves one and the same.
And as this was
discovered, Kingston Brown,
Vox Populi of New York City,
declared out-and-out w*r on Gladiator.
Finally, proving that the mall goth
was right the whole time, oh no.
- This city is my mall.
(laughing)
Truest thing Cody's ever said.
- Pete also discovered that
there did appear to be something
in fact, medically going on
with Nod in the dreaming.
And that both Pete's physical presence,
and the presence of someone
who actually knew medicine,
would both be appreciated by the monarch
of the sixth borough.
It also seems that Iga
has actually confronted
her ancestral matriarchs
going into the past.
And when asking, "Why don't
we go deeper into the castle?"
Or ask questions about it,
figured out it was all based on a hunch
from a woman who lived
sometime in the '800s.
Iga's great, great, great,
great, great, great, great,
great, great great, great grandma.
These women obviously knew a lot
about how to get warlock
powers from a magical chest,
but Iga also was the first
in her matrilineal line
to reach out to the power
deep within the castle itself.
Ricky learned some horrifying
stuff from his new bud JJ,
an apprentice wizard of the
Gramercy Occult Society.
And Sofia was confronted by
the machinations of Tony Simos
back at the Order of the Concrete Fist,
and stepped down from
her role as first fist
in the monastery.
Assembling at Esther
and Ricky's apartment,
our heroes have decided that
the Gramercy Occult Society
will engage in conning the
newly rededicated order
under the partial leadership of Tony Simos
as the new, or I should say,
once again, first fist of the monastery.
And Esther is going to
give them the runaround,
having by on Sofia's behest
created a fabricated version
of the powerful scroll, Forms
of the Greater Dreaming.
The original copy of which
is now in the hands of Pete
Conlan, the Vox Phantasma.
And the decision was basically,
we know that something's going on in Nod,
we know that the gray
orphan needs Pete's help.
We know that there is something out there
in the deeper dreaming.
And you also want to go
to the Metropolitan Museum
of Memories to talk about
these Vox Phantasma memories
that is also now weirdly
connected with what's going on
in the waking world's version of the Met,
with the movement of the Cloisters stuff,
which was shut down and
bought by Gladiator,
that has now all been moved
to the Metropolitan Museum
proper as it abuts Central Park.
So, the plan has been made
that Gramercy will give
a runaround to Tony Simos
to try to keep them off balance.
But in the interim,
all of you need to get
prepared to head to Nod
to see what's wrong before
the order catches wise.
For all of you,
this is in your hands.
Esther is busy putting
on a show for the order.
How much time do you want to
take to set up this journey?
Do you want to try to just
head there as soon as you can?
What's the game plan from all of you?
- I would love an hour to run
a quick errand and come back,
but I can, yeah, that's my ideal...
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- I think Sofia has done
all the research she can,
'cause she spent like
two weeks with Gramercy
working on this.
So, I think all the research
I could have possibly done,
I've done.
- Cool, hell yeah.
- Ricky was just gonna
reluctantly try to talk to Cody
about his sword...
- The thirsting blade.
- Yeah, the thirsting blade.
- Well, it hungers.
- Sure, yeah, sure.
I guess in a way it can hunger.
- "Thirsting blade hungers." (laughs)
- That's why you named
it the thirsting blade.
- So, it hungers for, to drink.
- For blood.
- Yeah, okay.
- Well, I was able to make...
(laughing)
I just want to say that
I was able to make this,
MY questing blade cast suggestion,
because I realized that could be helpful
in certain scenarios for me.
And, I dunno, I can maybe
help you try to figure out
how to imbue, get some sort
of spell out of your weapon.
- Yeah, I mean, if...
Yeah, I would definitely
take you up on that, man.
I appreciate it.
- Sick.
- So, you could help it get fangs,
or maybe bleed on its own or something?
Like if it had like
serrated edges and sh*t?
- Are you sure you want it just
to be drinking blood?
- Yeah, I want it for it to be hungry.
- Is there any...ask...of just,
maybe there's something
a little more practical?
- Yeah.
If it could use the darkness
to protect the light.
- Okay.
- 'Cause it's two sides of the same coin.
- Okay.
- This conversation continues
for a heart-wrenching
amount of time.
Cool.
Pete's gonna take it...
So, it looks like you
guys are ready to head out
truly post-haste.
- I check in with Iga and Cody real quick
just about what we're asking them to do.
And I'm just like,
kind of I think like explain
a little bit about Nod
and what it's like to be
there and how wild it is
and just with kind of knowing all of that
and how intense an
experience it's gonna be,
are you all ready for
what could possibly be
a more extended trip?
Maybe more than a day or two as we go
into whatever deeper dreaming may be?
- I'll be okay.
I'll check in with my
husband, make sure he's okay
with my leaving for a couple of...
I mean, he'll be okay with it.
You know what I mean?
But it's like polite to say.
It's polite to ask,
but if he says no that's
a problem, you know?
- Yeah, yeah, I do know.
I do know, I do know.
Cody, are you good?
- Yeah.
I think dreams are kind
of also nightmares,
which are super goth.
So, I think I'll be really good there.
It's gonna be sick.
- Yeah, it's gonna be sick.
Sick.
Sick, okay.
- Do you think dreams and
nightmares are two sides
of the same coin, maybe?
(laughing)
- Yeah, I do.
- Cool.
- You know, hunger and
thirsting are kind of two sides
of the same coin too.
- Yeah, I was thinking
the same thing. (laughs)
- Ricky finds his pull-up bar
and just knocks a bunch out.
(laughing)
- I think while Pete runs his errand,
Sofia goes into the bathroom
and takes out what looks like
a box of sour patch kids,
and stares at it for the entire hour.
(laughing)
- Sofia, are you okay in there?
- Yeah, I just--
- Okay, 'cause I am a 45-year-old woman,
and there's one bathroom
in this apartment.
You know what I mean?
- Okay, yeah, all right.
I guess it is just a
box of sour patch kids.
I'll stare at it out in the open.
(laughing)
- Whoa, are you gonna eat those?
(laughing)
- Well, I'm saving them for later.
I have low blood sugar.
- All right.
Yeah, I guess I will, with Ricky's help.
I will speak to the questing blade.
And, I think I'll
I guess I'll try to do the nicer one.
I'll be like "Thirsting
blade, I know that you hunger,
but I want to use the dark
to protect the light."
- Ha, master.
You wish to use the darkness
to protect the light,
for indeed they are two
sides of the same coin.
- Finally, you understand.
- Do I hear this?
(laughing)
- I think you do, Ricky.
I think you do hear it, yeah.
- Can you tell the
questing blade I said hey,
just to...
(laughing)
- Ricky says hi.
- Who?
Who says hi?
- Did you hear that, Ricky?
It was, like, confused.
- It's okay, I don't know
if you can just keep--
- It spent like three years with Dale.
- Yeah, yeah.
- I mean, he's a real presence.
- Okay, nevermind.
Yeah, just I'll just keep
helping you as much as I can.
- He might have reformat...
Maybe Dale reformatted the questing blade.
- My previous master Dale
made me into nunchucks.
So, that was, I could
do something like that.
- So you remember Dale?
You remember Dale?
(laughing)
- Is someone talking right now?
Is someone talking right now?
- I'm talking.
- My name is Ricky.
I used to have an axe that was you.
- Oh, weird.
I don't remember being an axe.
I just remember just being given away,
and no one even saying goodbye.
So, that's what I remember.
(laughing)
- My sword is f*cking pissed at you, dude.
- I never, I, wow, okay.
- No, but it's fine.
It is what it is, you know?
As the monks so often say,
Anyway, yeah, "thirsting blade," cool.
"Use the darkness to defend the light."
Do you want me to spray blood
or sh**t poison or venom?
- Yeah, am I a f*cking
rebound to you, dude?
- What?
Whoa, whoa, Cody, you are
not a rebound, no way.
- It just seems like you're
not that f*cking hungry
for blood even though
you're the thirsting blade.
- I'm super hungry for blood.
Cody, oh my God!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no.
I didn't mean to hurt
your feelings, listen.
- Okay, yeah.
'Cause I'm just saying,
you seemed freaking
pissed and when people are
a lot of emotion there.
- Could you tell the
questing blade that I--
- It's actually the thirsting blade, Rick.
- Okay.
- Rick!
(laughing)
- All of a sudden the CW
logo appears on the corner
of our screen.
(laughing)
- Yeah, all right.
I'll give the questing
blade a little time,
but I am very sorry.
I didn't, yeah, I'm very sorry.
- Nope.
Are you saying sorry to
me or sorry to the sword?
- The sword.
(laughing)
- You guys, so, you're getting ready.
Everyone else is getting
ready to head out to Nod.
Pete, what was your errand
that you wanted to run real quick?
- Okay, I would love to hit up 53\/3N.
- Cool.
- And then, I guess I
check in really quick.
I'm going for a couple
of different reasons,
but Kingston or whoever has
the hard drive, maybe I'll see.
Do you guys want my
friend to look at this,
or do we feel really solid about JJ?
Not to distrust JJ,
just wasn't sure if he, you know, maybe--
- I was gonna-
- Your accountant / drug
dealer would maybe be better?
- Honestly, yeah.
He's pretty bulletproof.
- Hey, I mean, I want this
company dead more than anything
in the world right now.
So, if there's any edge
your truly horrible friend
could give us, I'd take it.
- He has no social cues
and he has no empathy,
but he's extremely good at what he does.
And he's set up a perfect life
to where empathy is not that important.
So, and that's fine for him.
Honestly, living his ideal life,
his all ala carte life, you know?
- Yeah.
- Anyway, should I take that
and can I hit up 53\/3N
and be like, "Hey, man.
It's been a second,
but I actually really need
your help with something."
- You see, you get a text
back immediately being like,
"How long have you had this phone?
And who knows this number?"
- Oh, oh, oh, oh great.
I tell him, "I'll throw
the chip in the microwave
on my way to see you."
- Copy.
You see, he says, "I can help you out.
Are you looking to re-up?
Been a while."
- Not that, it's a couple
other of your services,
winky face. (laughs)
And then I immediately regret
sending a bro winky face.
- You see, he says, "Okay,
if you're not working for me,
you're gonna have to pay
like everybody else."
- Yeah, I get it. No worries.
- Rad.
Yeah.
He says, "Done and done."
- Okay, great.
I take the SIM card out of my cell phone
and just truly ruin Ricky's microwave.
I say, "I'm so sorry I put
two minutes on the microwave."
The chip explodes, your
microwave is ruined.
And then I say, "Who has cash?"
'Cause I'm gonna need--
- Hey Pete, what are you doing?
- I have cash, what do you need?
- I just need a couple thousand.
I will pay you back eventually.
- Okay.
- Okay, I take an Uber
to see 53\/3N. (laughs)
- Iga, do you want to hook Pete up?
- Yeah.
I guess I'll ask everybody
like is this a thing
that we want to do?
- I think it's not a bad idea.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Technically Sofia, this
is your money anyway.
So, let's go with it.
(laughing)
- I tell Iga, I'm like,
"Iga, I know so many freshmen
and sophomores at Columbia
College who would die
for a reading from you.
So I will--
- Yeah, just recommend them to me.
Send them my way.
- I will.
- I've also given you a Yelp
review every single time
I've gone to you.
- Yes, and I gave you that $15
discount every single time.
(laughing)
- 15, not more like 2.50 or whatever.
- Okay, look, I'll give you a discount--
- My most recent one said,
"She pulled the tower card
and showed me I was falling off a tower,
and I lost my job the next day."
(laughing)
- Pete, are you heading to go
give that to 53\/3N right now?
- Yeah.
- Cool.
You swing by 53\/3N's place.
You walk in, huge refrigerated warehouse,
no visible furniture, giant
cooling units hitting servers.
He's just had a giant
multi-screen PC, gold-plated AK-47
next to him.
You see there's a huge bunch
of just like plastic wrapped
some kind of intense drug
substance next to him.
There is a small dog wearing
a sweater and shoes nearby,
'cause it's so f*cking
freezing cold in here.
He turns around and goes, "Pete, my man.
Good to see you.
So, again, no chance of re-upping?"
- "No, not at all.
But here I brought your
favorite trash foods."
And I give him like nacho cheese Cheetos
and like purple Skittles
and like cotton candy soda.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
This is what I like.
- Okay, man, I got three
things I need your help with.
And you can tell me what your price is.
But, one, I think I...
Can I give him the scroll
and have him put it
in whatever insane vault
sh*t like high, high safety.
- He says, "You You want me
to f*cking vanish this thing?"
- This is stolen art that I
need not to be able to be found.
And I think before that,
I just read it all.
I tried to absorb it but--
- Cool.
He says, "Done, it's gone."
- Okay.
Then I need you to find
out everything you can
about a Calvin Thomas.
Just need a background check,
or if you know any PIs or something,
honestly, I guess I could hire them.
But, you're pretty good at that.
(laughing)
It's just really important.
So sorry guys, I did have
to dip out for an hour.
(crew chattering)
What does he bench?
That's what I'm trying to find out.
- You mentioned Calvin Thomas.
He says, "What's your third thing?"
- Can I do an insight
check on what his reaction
is to Calvin Thomas?
- Sure, give me an insight check.
- Eight.
- You got no idea.
- He's hard to read.
- All right, cool.
And then the third thing is,
I give him the hard drive
and I say, "This thing
is really f*cked up,
but there's something
going on with Gladiator.
I don't know if you even noticed."
- f*ck Gladiator, dude, f*ck Gladiator.
State collaborators,
panopticon m*therf*ckers.
I f*cking hate them.
- Exactly.
This might be able to bring them down.
This thing goes deep.
And then I explain as much
of this web as I know about,
and then I ask him if he can
really go into these drives,
but a lot of them are extremely protected
and they completely ruin
the computer or whatever.
- He nods.
He says, "f*ck 'em.
Hey Pete, I'm gonna charge you,"
he looks and says, "For
disappearing this,"
he says, "It's gonna be four and a half K.
The Gladiator sh*t, I do for free.
Thank you for the f*cking lead, dude."
- You're welcome.
- You see, he says
as he says that by the way,
you hear a reverberation
of what Kingston yelled
in Queens the other day.
It is echoing.
Kingston's declaration is
echoing throughout people,
who even when they are
f*cking extremely unpleasant
like 53\/3N is,
are proud New Yorkers.
You see that 53\/3N looks
at you and goes, "Hell yeah.
You're not f*cking drinking
Cypher, are you, right?"
- No dude, no.
Wait, are you?
I know you--
- Dude if you are not makin
your own f*ck nutrient sludge,
you are a stooge."
And he points to giant crates.
He's like, "Proteins, fats, amino acids.
Food is a lie to get you to
consume from retail outlets.
You boil food down to
its barest essentials,
I make my own food now.
I have thousands of
pounds of various powders
that make up what a
human needs to survive.
I have boiled my eating time down
to eight and a half minutes a day.
I sleep three hours a
day, super productive.
I'm getting only REM.
Cypher, that bullshit, it knocks
you out of your REM cycle.
You can't dream while you're drinking it."
- Wait, how do you know that?
- Dude, you gotta be reading
the zines I sent you.
I'm sending you these zines all the time--
- I got all the zines.
I just didn't have time to read the zine.
Sometimes you look and it's
just a picture of an open vag*na
and you're like, "I don't need
to read the rest of this."
- Yeah, it's a metaphor, Peter.
(laughing)
- All right, cool.
It's a f*cking cool zine.
I'm sorry, I'll read it next time.
- There's nothing wrong with a vag*na.
- Duh, dude, duh.
(laughing)
f*cking duh, do you know me?
- I know you, dude.
That's what I'm saying.
It's like that
when I see a zine with
a vag*na on it, I go,
"Great, serious literature.
I'm gonna learn something."
You see that he,
he looks at you and says,
"Yeah, don't drink that Cypher garbage."
He says, "I can make
you a nutrient sludge.
You want me to make you a batch?"
- Yeah, for sure, man.
I would love to try that actually.
- He looks at you and says, "Rad.
Just ask for the Calvin Thomas thing.
I'm gonna be diving into
this Gladiator sh*t.
That's gonna be my main focus."
He thinks for a second and says,
"I can put up
I can farm this out to someone,
or I could put you in touch with her.
It would be weird for me to put
I think it might be weird
for me to put you in touch
with her though,
because she's been looking for you,
and I put her off your trail specifically.
But, she's the best at what she does."
- Wait, what?
- He says, "She specifically finds people.
She's a dirt-digger.
She's like an internet PI."
- Yeah.
- She reached out specifically,
but she knew that you were working for me,
but she hasn't known recently.
But I can put you in touch
with her if you want."
- No.
Wait, was she f*cking hired?
And then I name some of
the names that we have now
from like, you know, I
mean, obviously like Tony.
- No no, no, no.
She wanted to apologize, but I
don't f*cking rat people out.
You see, he looks at you and says,
"She was the one who found
you working for your family.
This is years ago.
But I didn't mention it to you because--
- Like when my dad found me?
- Yeah.
She was working for them.
She f*cked up and wanted to
basically return the money.
She said, "Can you put me...
She knew where you lived,
but didn't want to broach it that way,
because you stopped living
at that place in Greenpoint
and she couldn't find you anymore.
And so she reached out to me,
and I was basically like,
"I don't f*cking rat people.
I'm not even gonna mention this to Pete.
I won't even mention it
to Pete for three years.
And that's where we are right now."
- Dude, I love that.
All right, so the thing
is I brought $2.000.
I can move some stuff for
you for the rest of it.
- Great.
You see, he puts some
bricks in front of you.
- Okay, I put them in my bag.
- Put them in your bag.
- So much money.
- You see, he looks and says,
"Do you want me to put this
woman in touch with you?
She really is the best."
- Yeah.
I'll deal with that later.
But, you can put her in touch
with my third bumper Gmail.
- Cool, you got it.
- Okay. Great.
All right, well, good to see you, man.
- Hey, good to see you too.
We're gonna f*ck these f*ck.
- Yeah, we are.
- All right.
Cool.
Pete, you head out.
- Can I try to sell my Uber
driver all of the drugs?
(laughing)
- Give me a persuasion check.
(laughing)
- Okay, okay, that's actually pretty high.
That is a 22.
- Oh, yeah, he'll buy $20 off of you.
- God, no, I'm talking
about like $2.500. (laughs)
All right, I sell him a little bit.
He'll just f*cking will eat away at this.
Can I stop by a corner
store and buy a scratcher?
And if I hit a Nat 20,
I won $2.500? (laughs)
- Hey Ally, yes, we can do that.
(laughing)
If you hit the Nat 20 right now,
you hit a scratcher.
- 17.
(laughing)
All right, all right, all right.
We'll figure this out as we go.
- Oh, you won another ticket.
- Yeah.
So, now you have 15 new dollars.
(laughing)
Cool.
You have those bricks.
You head out having given the hard drive
and the stuff to 53\/3N.
53\/3N has put you in touch with this
apparently person who
wanted to reach out to you
to apologize for having tracked you down.
And you can't think about that right now.
You're about to head to Nod.
You have a bag full of drugs.
The hard drive is in
53\/3N's hands, he's on it.
And Forms of the Greater
Dreaming is being disappeared.
Everybody else, Esther basically says
that she needs to be available.
She talks to you, Ricky,
about JJ and goes,
"I don't think it would be
bad to get JJ out of the city,
especially if Tony has been
really aggressive to him.
If you want to bring him to have a wizard
from the society with you,
I think that could be a good idea.
He has been studying the maps of Nod.
He knows it like the back of his hand.
He's really been focusing on it.
- Okay, yeah.
I wasn't sure if he was...
It's a big thing, so I
wasn't sure if he was ready.
So it's like, if he feels
ready, then let's take him.
She shrugs and says,
"You know, he's as ready as
you were when you started."
- For sure, for sure.
- Just keep an eye on him.
- Cool.
- Cool.
You guys get to the L-train platform
to take the L to the
end of the line, baby.
It's the six of you.
I assume Ox is there
as well, Misiek, Luna.
JJ rolls up, T-shirt, sneakers.
Got his laptop tapped into a battery pack
in his back pocket.
He looks over at you, Ricky, and is like,
"What's up man?"
Excited.
I know it was only a couple of weeks ago,
this is not the Holland Tunnel.
I'm ready to throw down.
I hope I don't slow y'all down.
And I hear that one of the
places that we want to swing by
is the Met.
So, I have a little
spell I concocted myself,
and you see that he pulls
up a little like 2D portal,
like eight-bit kind of image thing
that is big enough for him
to slip a hand through.
And you see he's like,
"So hopefully, while the Vox
Phantasma is doing his thing,
I'll be able to sneak through
from another dimension
and straight up snag
all of that native art
while the museum's closed."
So, rock and roll, hell yeah.
- That sounds awesome.
- See, he's like, "Hell yeah, I might--
- Can I get one of those?
- He says, "Yeah, let me,
and if I can just grab
your dimensions real quick
and I can try to make one."
And he starts to show you
how to do the cantrip,
which is like a little dimensional.
It's like, if you're in one dimension,
you can just shove your hand
into the mirror of that place
in another dimension.
You guys take the L all the way into Nod.
(imitates train chugging)
You arrive.
It is the last few days of November.
And you see that there
is beginning to be snow
kicking up from Nod.
As it was when you took the
L train all the way here
the last time with Pete
cradling Nod in his arms
and walked to the Poseidon Diner.
You guys walk out of the
train into the sixth borough.
Lots of lights are out.
You look around.
This place is flooded with raw umbra.
The feeling you get walking
through Nod this time is not one
of being in immediate danger.
Not the feeling of a predator
breathing down the back
of your neck.
The feeling instead is
that of being in a forest
in which there is something
so dangerous out there
that everything else has left.
It is a new moon in Nod,
and the woman in the moon is
not even showing her face.
There are stars in the sky still,
but you do not see gleeful dream creatures
bounding through the sky, nor
do you see sh**ting stars.
The stars are still twinkling,
but no comets sail past.
The place that has gone
quiet with the awareness
that something is out
there in the distance.
You make your way to the
Metropolitan Museum of Dreams.
As you arrive,
JJ speaks up and says, "Okay,
well, whole other dimension.
Oh my God. (laughs)
The dreaming. (laughs)
What?
Okay."
- I put my arm around JJ.
- He immediately says,
"Ooh, it feels better.
Okay, yeah.
Hey, we're here with the
Vox Phantasma, right?
What's gonna happen?
We got the Vox here.
We're good, we're good."
Kingston, you have your little Metro card
that gives you access to this place.
And as you walk through,
the mist no longer retreats from you.
You walk through the mist.
- Okay.
Honestly, I don't try and full fly,
but can I float now?
- Kingston has done a
lot of work on his heart
over the past three years.
What's something that is not
true in Kingston's waking life
that is like a dream or some fantasy
that would fill Kingston's
heart with light,
and levity and joy?
- Oh, oh, what is it?
Why is this hard?
(laughing)
I think 'cause the first thing
I thought of was children,
like immediately it's kids.
- That's okay.
That's okay.
Yeah, I think Kingston...
There's obviously sadness there as well,
but there's also, the thought
of it does bring you joy.
You think of what a child
that would look like your and
Liz's child would look like
in your arms,
and you lift up from the
ground and kick your legs out
a little bit as--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, all right.
And then I immediately try and come down.
(laughing)
Cool, cool.
Okay, things are different this time.
Okay, all right.
- Hey, Pete telling people to
stop smoking at a hospital,
the Vox Phantasma is
saying, "Follow the rules."
The Vox Populi can
certainly float a little bit
in the dream realm.
We're in a healthier New York, g*ng.
(laughing)
Yeah, I think Kingston holds
onto that dream for a moment.
And the fact that it's a dream,
doesn't mean it's not beautiful.
And that's enough to
lift you off your feet.
- So, can we all fly now,
or Cody just jumps?
- You sort of jump a little bit.
JJ speaks up and says,
"Okay, so the Metropolitan
Museum of Memories
has a very complex layout and structure.
There's a lot more inside
than the normal Met.
But if what you guys are worried about
is that unicorn spirit,
that got moved into a wing
I think near Arms and Armor,
which is like the old medieval stuff.
I don't know how dream
world expedition works.
Should we split up?
Is there something that
you all want to do?
- [Iga] No.
- Never split up, not in Nod.
(laughing)
- See, JJ kinda goes, "Cool, okay.
Good to know.
I'll make sure to keep
my bearings around me."
Awesome.
You guys begin to head further in.
Pete, you can tell something
has entered this place.
Something's not right here.
It's also dark here.
- Do I get a sense of where Nod is?
Am I able to kind of
intuitively know where they are?
- Yes, I think so.
You know that Nod is way
probably way up on
their cloud in Brooklyn.
You guys, I think, swung by here first,
because we were worried
about this unicorn thing.
- For sure, okay.
- Can I use Misiek to
do a perception check?
- Yeah, go for it.
- 'Cause Misiek is good
at perceiving things
that you can't necessarily see.
Dirty 20.
- Misiek flies out.
Everyone here gives me
a little insight check.
- 13.
- Oh, I rolled a Nat 20.
- Cool.
- 17.
- Iga, you call to Misiek.
Misiek looks up and goes
up onto your shoulder
and licks your face a bunch.
And you see Misiek's eyes go wide.
As a little bit of this new
power flows through you,
Misiek looks a little bit less sick.
And I think for anyone
else here who rolled a 15
or above, part of you
might maybe wonders like,
"Where did Iga get this
little dragon thing?
These are not native to New York."
I mean, there's weird sh*t all the time.
But I guess no one is like,
"What is this little guy?"
Misiek (growls) flies off.
And Iga you see just in the dark flashes.
It's a little like reflective
animal eyes over at you,
and slinks over and looks in
to the Arms and Armor exhibit
and growls and taps for immediate danger.
- I cast jump on myself.
- Cool.
- Yeah, I'm gonna cast
freedom of movement on myself.
- Hell yeah.
- Can I use divine sense?
- You cast divine sense.
You detect a powerful celestial
presence in the next room
that is dying.
- Ooh sh*t.
- Okay, I think I'm just
gonna run towards it.
- Cool, you guys sprint--
- Sorry, I don't think
that I would be logical
in this situation.
- Hell yeah.
You guys feel the danger.
Ricky, you sense something
is hurting in there.
All of you sprint.
You come through the doors,
darkness everywhere
looming in the faded light.
All of you can look through the doors
and see a beautiful unicorn
chained to the ground
covered in blood.
This is the unicorn of New York City,
one of Kugrich's totems.
And there are four animated
suits of armor on Barding,
hovering ghostly over it,
stabbing it to death with their lances.
As PCs, you guys are
only gonna be able to see
what is actually visible to you.
The rest, if it's behind the wall
or through a door you
haven't gone through,
will be represented in darkness.
I, however as the DM, am
able to see the whole map.
Everybody roll initiative.
A 22 from Sofia.
Iga?
- 12.
- Cody?
- Four.
- Pete?
- 18.
- Ricky?
- 13.
- Kingston?
- 17.
- 17, hell yeah.
Here we go.
- Vroom, vroom.
- Vroom, vroom, baby.
- We've had a long rest, right?
- Yeah.
- Since the last, yeah, okay.
- You guys hear smashing
coming from the side chambers
off of the main place,
but see those knights
preparing to do in the unicorn.
But you also do hear other things.
The hall is bigger.
There are side galleries and
other things like that around.
First to act is Sofia Lee.
- [Sofia] All right, I'm just gonna...
This is bathed in shadow, right?
- Yep.
- I'm just gonna shadow step to right
over one of those knights.
I'll go for the top right one.
And I'm going to just attack.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- I roll with advantage,
and I absolutely f*cking
missed on my first attack.
- How far is shadow step by the way?
- 60 feet.
- Cool.
- And, but my second attack, I got a 23.
- 23 is going to hit.
- Okay, so ooh I do 13 with
my right hook and then...
Oh, and I used my bonus action.
So yeah, that's all I do.
- How much do you do with that attack?
- Just 13 damage.
- Give me an immediate either
insight or arcana check.
- Oh no.
I got a 19 plus three for insight, so 22.
- Your fist goes (swooshes).
You can tell that you've
done some damage here.
You beat a 20, right?
- I beat a 20 in my
insight, yeah, I got 22.
- Your monk training kicks in.
This is some dream magic.
You specifically think
it's some time magic.
You're looking at these
things and when you hit it,
you feel your fist shake
in a way that you did
on New Year's Eve when
the time stone went off
and you were trapped in a single moment.
You feel that this armor
is partially protected
by its historicity.
That there is literally
something about the fact
that your fist is from the present
and this thing is from the past,
that means it has resistance
to what you just did to it.
- So, it means it wants history.
History will hurt it.
- History will hurt it, exactly.
- We're in a room full of weapons.
(laughing)
- I will throw in a stunning
strike just in case.
I don't think it's...
- Cool.
You spend the ki point
and learn that these
things are immune to stun.
- Okay, I had a feeling
that might happen. (laughs)
- Worth a try.
- You have to try it once to
find out that it won't work.
- That's Sofia's turn.
Next is...this...
Ah-buh-buh-buh...
You see, silently the unicorn reaches out
and does one of the only things it can do,
which is cast pass without trace on Sofia.
Looking up from a blood
soaked face, it goes,
"Oh hey there, sugar.
You look great."
And shadows swirl around you.
- Thank you so much.
You know what?
We're gonna get you out of here, okay?
- Oh, thanks.
Oh God, I'm in so much pain.
- No, we're getting you out of here.
- [Brennan] Hold on one second.
- I forgot about the unicorn's voice.
(laughing)
- The unicorn, that's what
the unicorn sounds like.
- What are you doing here?
(laughing)
- When did we meet the unicorn again?
- I think in my first drug trip--
- Into Nod, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hold on.
Okay.
Pete, that's gonna be you.
- Okay.
I run forward to here, 30 feet.
Hell yeah.
And then I am going to cast
banishment on the unicorn.
- Ooh.
- Hell yeah.
- And then, ooh, I'm actually,
yeah, I'm gonna use a sorcery point
to make that a bonus action.
So, it'll be a quicken
spell, or two sorcery points.
And then, I'm gonna use my action to hide.
- Ah, hell yeah.
Go ahead and make a stealth check for me.
- That is a 19.
- A 19, awesome.
A 19, damn.
Pete, you jump into the shadows and hide.
That is going to be...
The unicorn vanishes.
Pete, you fold the
unicorn into pure dreaming
where these mounted Plate
and Bardings cannot reach it.
And after Pete, that goes
to be Kingston Brown.
- [Kingston] Okay, so first
I need to move myself,
because I just can't see.
I can't see anything.
- [Pete] Oh, I guess I yelled,
"There are people in the other rooms."
'Cause from where I'm standing,
I can see at least some sort of token.
- Cool.
- I'll come stand next to Pete.
And the unicorn is like
the one, is like the thing,
like that's the celestial
that we sensed needed help.
And it's now safe.
- That is correct.
- Okay, great.
Let's try something crazy then.
I'd like to cast summon celestial spirit,
and call forth the spirit
from the upper planes.
- Hell yes.
Okay, hold on one second.
Yeah, we're gonna do this.
Cool.
You reach out to call a
spirit from the upper planes.
You are in Nod.
This has never been more appropriate.
You rush in, call summon celestial.
I'm gonna go ahead and get
that little thing for myself.
Go ahead and roll initiative
for this celestial.
Be so kind of let me know what your roll.
- Great.
- Did you write down your guess, Zac?
- I did.
- It's like-
- I wrote down my guess too.
- Their initiative will be 16.
- 16 you say, okay.
- Yours is 17, right?
- Yes.
- Mine is 17.
- Wow.
- Hell yeah.
- This is wild.
Look at me out here
summoning sh*t, let's go.
Let's go, this is gonna fly speed.
- It's gonna be history too, I think.
- I hope.
- What's this called again, sorry?
It's called a celestial spirit.
- Yes, it's summon celestial spirit.
I just did all the math
in terms of, like, its AC
and it's HP.
- Cool
- And I'm gonna summon
a defender celestial.
- Kingston, you reach out
and summon celestial spirit.
Light reaches into the
Met all the way from JFK
in the distance.
Alejandro Ortiz appears next to you.
- Oh, I was wrong.
I guessed Kugrash.
- Oh, that would have been crazy.
- Stephen Sondheim.
- Stephen Sondheim, incredible.
- I did think Alejandro, but
I couldn't remember his name.
- So you see Alejandro Ortiz.
"Oh, my friend Kingston Brown,
it's good to see you again."
- Alejandro, so good to see you.
I'm not gonna lie, I've
never done that before.
Did not know it would be you.
(laughing)
How you feel about kicking
some a*s right now?
- He says, "Honestly, I love paradise.
My wife, she's so beautiful.
But to lay the smack down one
last time with my good friend,
it would be an honor."
- Let's get it.
- Yeah, you call on your
authority for the importance
of this mission to New York City.
Because you are in Nod,
Alejandro is able to appear.
He's in the dreaming.
It's contingent to paradise.
- So, is he gonna have Alejandro stats,
or is he gonna have these...
'Cause this whole thing,
it's like a melee fight.
- Alejandro is about to take his cane
and lay into this like an angel wizard.
He's about to fully go for it.
- As Alejandro takes his
turn, can I yell at Alejandro,
"Hey, the cane's not gonna cut it.
You're gonna have to use maybe some
of the weaponry in here."
- "Oh, something from
the historical period
attached to the...
- Yeah.
- I can do that.
Amazing.
He's gonna go right after you.
- Great.
I think that's, I'll,
that'll be the end of my
that's everything...
I don't have any bonus actions
I'm gonna do at this time.
So, that's the end of my turn.
- Hell yes.
Incredible.
Alejandro is going to,
yeah, he's got a fly speed of 40 feet.
The first thing he's going to do,
and he's defender, right?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Go ahead if you would be so kind.
He makes a number of attacks equal
to half the spell's level rounded down.
- So, he'll make two.
- He'll make two attacks, okay.
- [Pete] Wow, cool.
- Amazing.
He'll make two attacks.
He moves over here.
He's first gonna make a history check.
It's a DC 20 history check,
but he's got a plus eight to history.
He hits it exactly.
Alejandro looks over and says,
"Okay, around late 13th century,
so that's pretty much
within the wheelhouse
of what we can expect,
something like this."
He reaches out, grabs a
mace from one of the things
and in a flash of celestial
light leaps forward.
Go ahead and give me two
attack rolls for him.
- Hell yes.
That first one's gonna be a,
I don't think it'll hit.
Yeah, we'll hit that second one.
Also, two threes in a row.
Alejandro does not make contact.
- He's having a great time.
(laughing)
- Alejandro, stop having fun.
- No, this is so fun.
You have no idea.
I was in paradise.
I was with my wife,
beautiful sunset as always.
And then a thing comes and an angel says,
"Hey the Vox Populi of
New York City is in Nod,
and has actually asked for us to send..."
And I was like, "I will
be so happy to do this.
So, this is incredible, man.
You look so great.
- You and Liz! Oh my God!
- Alejandro, focus!
- Okay, focus up.
I hit the armor, yes, yes, yes.
Incredible.
That is Alejandro's turn.
Now it is going to be the
Plate and Barding, oh no.
Okay.
Sofia, you can get a swing
on one of these suits
as they both advance away from you.
- Oh, okay.
I mean, hmm.
Is there any way I can, as
I swing, wrap some of their
wrap some of their clothing around my fist
to make historical fist wraps?
- Make a sleight of hand check.
DC 20, sleight of hand.
- Okay.
It's gonna be a 12, so I don't. (laughs)
And I'm gonna just try to attack.
I get a 21 to attack.
- 21 hits, go ahead and roll damage.
- That's 10.
- Hell yes.
You strike it again feeling
that move away from it.
The unicorn is safe.
However, these two back up
and are both going to charge Sofia.
- Oh, you had me use my
reactions so I can't use shield.
(laughing)
That's really good stuff,
and you deserve to hit me.
(laughing)
- Incredible.
Both of them are going to rush past you.
- Wow, that's really good stuff.
- That's that good stuff.
That's the stuff we like, you know?
Okay.
Both of them are going
to rush past boom, boom.
And that's going to,
they're gonna make some attacks now.
That's a hit for sure.
And, we'll go again.
Those are two more hits.
- Boo!
Boo!
- Oh my God.
You hear that amount of dice?
- Jesus!
- I hate that.
They do chaos damage, that means
we're gonna have a problem.
- I hear you, I do hear you.
Let me go ahead and get a
strength saving throw from Sofia,
if you'd be so kind.
(dramatic music)
- Oh, that's gonna be,
okay, that's gonna be a 25.
- Okay, you are not knocked
prone, which is good.
However, that's gonna be one,
two, three, four, five, six,
need more dice.
- Boo!
Boo!
- Fewer dice, fewer.
- Shame, can I shame you
into using fewer dice?
- I honestly do this in
Roll20, 'cause this is...
- Don't do this.
- Down with this sort of thing.
- I thought we shamed you enough
to stop this kind of behavior.
(laughing)
- It feels so delightfully conned
for taking that opportunity attack.
(laughing)
- Delightfully conned.
- This is like when Madam
Anastasia reads my tarot.
- Sofia takes 55 points of damage.
- I look up as blood trickles
from my nose and say,
"The thing is you don't realize
you just made me stronger."
(laughing)
- Absolute freak.
- Okay.
This one is going to rush past.
Okay.
This one's going to barrel past Kingston
to get an attack on Kingston.
Attack of opportunity from Alejandro.
- Okay.
- His barreling cause
Kingston to attack Ricky?
- He's gonna get an attack on both of you.
- Does a 13 hit?
- Does a 13 hit?
No, a 13 does not hit.
- Alejandro focus up.
- It's already so much
fun to be fighting again.
I missed you guys so much.
Sofia, oh my God.
Ricky, hello.
(laughing)
He says, "When you live in paradise,
the stakes are very low.
- So, it's boring there?
- No, it's great.
But it's like, what's gonna happen?
They're gonna k*ll me
and I'm gonna go back
to be with my wife forever, fine."
You see that you guys are...
They're gonna get some swings on you now.
That's a hit on Kingston.
Is that a hit on Ricky?
I don't think so.
No, it is not.
That's a miss on Kingston on the next one.
And a hit on Iga.
Kingston, you take 20 points of damage.
And I think only one of them
hit you, right Kingston?
- Yeah, that's what you
muttered to yourself, yeah.
- Great.
(laughing)
- What's the con save for concentration?
- Oh, that's right.
Iga, you take 21 points of damage.
I'm also gonna need a
strength saving throw
from Kingston and Iga.
And concentration is DC 10, Kingston.
- I got an eight on the
strength saving throw.
- I rolled a a natural...
Sorry, go ahead.
- Okay.
Nat 20 on the concentration check.
- Cool.
Kingston, I'm gonna need
another strength saving throw,
because you going down that first time,
means that the other one
rolled with advantage.
- What's this?
- It's how it goes.
- The second strength
saving throw is a seven.
- You take 21 points of damage,
and I'm going to need
another concentration.
- Is this 'cause I said that
thing about you muttering?
- Sorry, sorry, 18.
It's 18 points of damage to Kingston.
And I'm gonna need that
second concentration.
- So, DC 9 or DC 10?
- DC 10.
- That's gonna be a 19.
A natural 19.
Alejandro is not going anywhere.
- These knights, well,
actually sorry, no hooves,
just ghostly surging
forward floating in the air
and lances rake out across Iga.
Sorry, what was your save again, Iga?
- I rolled your natural one.
- You are prone as well.
- Can you use luck?
- I can, but I only have
two luck points left.
And I think I can,
'cause I can activate my
elemental gift as a bonus action
and then just fly away.
- For sure, for sure.
- Prone to the ground, I think.
I don't think I need to get up necessarily
- Incredible.
Ricky, that's gonna be your turn.
- Okay, do I have my divine sense still?
I felt the celestial being being k*lled,
but I wasn't sure if the
divine sense had any sort
of paying off of these ghost knights.
- You're not getting anything off
of these animated suits of armor
other than them threatening
the unicorn here.
- Can I hold up my sword and
see if it feels like it matches
the time period of them?
- Give me a history check with advantage.
- Okay.
Got it.
Ricky has a plus zero to history,
but I rolled a 19.
- Hell yes, you feel like
probably from these knights,
it's probably from the time period.
- Okay, all right.
I'm gonna just attack.
Let's do that.
- Hell yeah, go for it.
- All right.
Does a 20 hit, or 19 hit?
- A 19 does not hit.
- f*ck.
- Ooh.
- Wow.
- Ooh.
Brennan was in a bad mood when
he planned this session, huh?
- No, he was in a very good mood.
- Something tells me after
we whooped those clowns.
My man took a little extra lunchtime.
Put a little bit more
work in during lunch.
- Oh, you're making fun of my clowns.
Well, I'll show you.
- Yeah.
- I think I'm still
giddy from getting conned
into using my opportunity
attacks. (laughs)
- Incredible.
- f*ck, 13 misses too.
- sh*t.
- So, I missed twice.
And I'm gonna use a bonus action
to cast sanctuary on JJ.
- Hell yeah.
You got sanctuary on JJ.
Was that divine sense?
You sense another celestial presence
other than the unicorn from deeper
within the gallery as well.
- f*ck.
Could I
I might try to take my movement...
I feel like I got to protect...
Can I just take a step up just to see if
not leave the threatened area?
Well, I guess I do need to leave.
Sorry.
I kinda just want to see
what's in here. (laughs)
I want to just go here.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- I guess he gets an attack
of opportunity on me.
- He does, he's gonna take a swing.
That's a Nat 20.
- God.
- Ricky takes 19 points of
damage from that knight.
- Okay, I'm gonna rebuke the violent.
And as my reaction, and they can take 19
if he fails to save.
- He's gonna make that save.
On a natural eight, he fails.
Takes full 19 points of damage.
- [Ricky] Okay, I'm
gonna to move over here
and I'm gonna see if Ox
can take JJ to this corner.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- [Cody] That's smart.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
He can do that right away, no sweat.
- [Iga] Wait, what kind of
damage are these guys doing?
- Piercing.
- Oh, okay, cool.
- Okay.
That is going to JJ, who has just moved in
with everybody else.
- Can I make a perception check
now that I've moved in here,
'cause I see something and
I don't know what it is.
- [Brennan] Yeah, go ahead and
give me a perception check.
- That's a 16.
- Yeah, you look and see
a kneeling, colonial,
continental army uniform
with a musket and bayonet.
With a readied action,
the uniform takes a shot
and you are barely missed
with a musket ball, boom.
- What is that? (shrieks)
- So this uniform fires at you,
and the musket ball runs away.
- Oh, this other one is the samurai.
So, this is the muskets in where you are
and the other one is samurai weapons,
in the Met.
I don't know if it's
like that in this thing.
- Yeah, there's a ton of stuff.
- The one across the way?
- Yeah, the one that Ricky isn't in.
The ones to the south.
- Yeah.
- In the actual Met is
like samurai weapons.
- Yes, you see that there are
different armors and stuff
running around in here
with different stuff.
JJ is gonna make a
history check real quick.
He's got a plus eight to this as well.
17.
JJ holds out his hand.
Cantrip shatters the glass,
and tosses a musket to you, Ricky.
He's like, "Ah, it's got no a*mo,
but it's from that dude's time period."
- So, I can hit him in the head with it?
- Yeah, I think so.
(laughs)
Iga, that's gonna be you.
- Okay, I'm going to
activate my ghostly gaze,
so I can see through solid objects
including with dark vision
to a range of 30 feet.
- Hell yes.
You guys see a fencing
sort of renaissance figure
with a rapier, but it has not seen you.
It's smashing the glass.
You're back over here.
- I am going to activate
my elemental gift,
so that I can fly.
- [Brennan] Awesome.
- And I'm gonna fly up.
I'll take the opportunity attack.
I don't see any other way of doing it.
I'll move to like here.
- You take 13 points of damage
and are now up high altitude
out of the reach of their lances.
Hell yes.
- Hang on a second,
Misiek still has to go.
- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I'm actually gonna send
Misiek into this second.
And I'm telling everybody what I see
in all of the places.
- [Brennan] Cool, great.
So, Misiek's gonna move
right in there, bam!
- Okay, great.
Can I use my ghostly gaze
to see if there's anything
inside this armor?
- Sure, the armors are all empty.
They're purely animated.
- Okay, that's good to know.
- Awesome.
After Iga goes, hell yeah.
Ricky, you see that a suit
of armor wielding a scimitar
several centuries old
from the Ottoman Empire
begins to - sees you in the
hallway and charges at you
with a double move, ending
its turn right here.
- [Ricky] Oh, that's what I
thought attacked me earlier.
That's what I could see.
Oh, okay.
- [Iga] Oh, okay.
- [Brennan] Cool.
That's its turn.
Cody, that's you baby.
- Sweet.
I don't suppose I'm so lucky
that the questing blade...
It's throughout the ages.
So technically, I mean, that's
of all things' ages, right?
- Give me a history check, Cody.
- Okay.
- I'll set the DC the same
as Zac's, which is a 15.
- Okay.
I'm rolling like sh*t today, six.
(laughing)
- Looks like the questing
blade actually may not cut it
on this one.
- Okay.
- Then this glass case here.
Oops, sorry.
Let me make sure I'm on the right thing.
This glass case here,
does this look like the same
kind of armor and weapons
as the guys in here?
- Yes it does, absolutely.
- Great.
I would like to...
It's 45 feet away.
Assuming I have my moped,
'cause it's my steed,
I would like to just
do the charging attack.
Just essentially just run
my moped into the glass
as hard as I can.
- Hell yeah.
Great.
You smash it into the glass.
Go ahead and just give
me an acrobatics check
if you'd be so kind.
- Oh my God, this is so embarrassing.
A moped accident.
(laughing)
- In the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
- It just donks into the glass,
doesn't make a dent.
- The idea of riding a
motorcycle around a museum
is absolutely a dream that Cody has had.
- We are in the dream world.
- Pretty sick.
- Incredible.
What was your--?
- My attack?
- Or, give me a dexterity
saving throw. (laughs)
- Awesome.
18.
- Cool, you don't take any damage
as you smash through the glass.
- f*ck yeah, f*ck yeah, dude.
- Great.
You grab one of the weapons
from this time period.
Go ahead and give me a
history check to see what
if you can grab a good
weapon from this case.
This is definitely the right case,
but go ahead and give me a history check.
- Come on.
12.
- Cool.
Yeah, you grab a long sword.
Not as good as your questing blade,
but you grab a long sword off of one
of the suits of armor.
You have a weapon from the time period.
- Sweet.
Okay, so I've used 45 feet of movement.
I may need to hop off
my moped to keep going,
'cause I only have 60 feet of movement.
Okay, I am just going to...
Let's see, what do I have?
Is it 15 feet from the mopeds to this guy?
- [Brennan] Oh, just about, yeah.
- [Cody] Great.
I'll smash it, grab something,
then keep going with the
moped and go after this dude.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
It's a full joust, baby.
You're on a moped with a sword.
You grab it out of a
smashed piece of glass.
- You have no idea how
many times I've been
to Medieval Times.
- Go ahead and give me an attack roll.
- Sweet.
First things first,
let's start it with a thunderous
smite as a bonus action.
And then, I will make an attack.
27 to hit.
- That's gonna hit.
- Great.
So then I'm gonna do,
I'm gonna go all out just
this once and have fun.
Just this one time.
So, I've got, I'll just
roll it right here.
So, I've got one D8 from the long sword,
plus one D8 from my new
improved divine smite.
I will do a third level
divine smite to get four D8's.
- So, that's 6D8 so far.
(upbeat dramatic music)
- And then, two D6 from
the thunderous smite.
Oh, and I didn't add my bonus, plus nine.
- Ooh!
- Oh wait, no.
Plus eight, because it's not
a plus one weapon any more.
So, plus eight.
So, 43 damage on the first attack.
- Damn!
Plus eight, 43.
- Yeah.
- You ride up on your moped and,
like a baseball bat hitting a tin can,
just crunch in a huge
section of the Barding
on that animated armor, looking hurt.
- I think it hurts.
- You have another attack.
- Sweet.
My (laughs), I'm so stupid that
this is flavored as a moped.
My moped, oh wait, my moped didn't attack.
It rammed into the thing, nevermind
Rolled a nat one.
- Oh no!
You way overextend and kind
of skid and hit your knee
on the ground.
Your moped kind of
topples over a little bit.
You're taking a big swing off of a moped.
- I'm imagining all the
sounds that Ricky heard,
'cause he cannot see this.
Sort of like
(laughing)
- It's like, "Oh sh*t, where is this from?
Oh, the sword will do, it's fine.
(yells) I must go all out this once!
Oh f*ck!
(laughing)
- Incredible.
- Seems like he's doing okay.
- The continental soldier
closes with you Ricky,
and is going to take some bayonet attacks.
That is a Nat 20.
- Jesus.
- sh*t.
- Yikes.
- Now, these aren't clowns at all.
These aren't true clowns.
- I was also rolling very
badly during the clown fight.
It was one of that--
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's what all the say.
- I was too!
- Oh my goodness.
- Incredible.
7, Jesus!
15 plus five.
Ricky, you take 20 points of damage
as this guy runs up and bayonets you.
- [Kingston] What are you at, Ricky?
- I'm at 66.
- Sofia, that is your turn.
- Okay.
- Can I use my channel divinity
to try to make him take
that 20 damage as well?
- Yes, you can.
- I can't remember if--
- No, you got your reaction back.
You do have your reaction back.
- Okay, cool.
I'll just do that.
- Let's see.
- Wisdom saving throw.
- Wisdom saving throw DC--
- 16.
- Oh, these guys have a minus
four to their wisdom save.
Yeah, absolutely.
20 points of damage, right to him, blam!
Incredible.
Sofia, that is your turn.
- Okay, do I get the vibe that the rooms
that Ricky and Iga are in,
'cause there's three
different doors going into it
and I can't see,
but do I feel like it
goes into one big room?
So, Ricky and Iga have line of sight
on everything that's in there?
- I think you,
you've been to the Met before.
So, you know that once
you're in the middle
of one of those side galleries,
there is a straight hall that
goes all the way the rest
of the side galleries.
- And then is there...
Do I get the sense that there's
something deeper down here?
I'll use the ruler to
point, down this way.
- You do.
I think you do sense
that there's other stuff
down there, yeah.
- Okay.
I think for now I'm just going to
I want to punch in the
I want to punch in the glass case
and grab maybe two sort
of like coat of armor.
- Oh, gauntlets?
- Gauntlets.
- Hell yeah.
- Do I get the sense that will
hurt these guys right here?
- Yes, you absolutely do.
Go ahead and give me a
history check just again
to see how good of a thing you can grab.
- Okay.
I mean, history check.
15.
- Yeah, you are gonna smash
the glass with the elbow
and you grab...
You guys see Sofia now has the
cat paws, a round, giant...
Sofia you're not the
tallest woman in the world.
So, you have these, your gloves,
you look like Hulk hands.
These are huge medieval gauntlets.
- They're nice, I should
give him a manicure.
- (laughs) Go for it.
- Okay, and then I'm going
to attack this rider.
- [Brennan] Hell yes.
- And what I'm going to
do, let me see, okay.
First attack, ooh, that is gonna hit.
That is 27 to hit.
- That hits.
- And now I add a D4 radiant, right?
'Cause I'm at less than half.
- You absolutely do, that is correct.
- Boy, I rolled poorly though.
So, he takes nine damage.
Going to attack again.
13 plus nine, 22.
Will that hit?
- That hits.
- All right.
I rolled two ones.
I'm rolling so poorly.
So, that's another seven damage.
And then, do I get the sense
that these spectral creatures
that if they...
that they can charge up in the air?
Like if I jumped up on top of this
on top of this case that
I just punched a hole in.
If I jumped up on top of that,
will he still be able to charge me?
- It looks like no.
Iga soared up above them,
and one of them kind of
lunged and levitated back down
to the appropriate height
for a mounted knight.
- Okay, then I'm gonna spend
a ki point to hop backwards
onto that case.
- Cool gotcha.
Great, great, great.
Hell yeah.
And you're not even out
of its threatened area
if you're up on that case,
'cause it does have 10 feet of reach
with that lance heads up.
So, that lance is pretty long.
- Oh, in that case, why don't I just jump?
I mean, I have my full movement.
I have jump cast on me.
I could literally just
jump my fall movement.
- Up to the ceiling?
Cool.
- Yeah, up to the ceiling.
- He's gonna get a swing as
an attack of opportunity.
- Oh, no, I used a ki point to disengage.
- Cool, then you're totally good.
You just dodged a natural 19.
That is Sofia Lee's turn.
Pete, that's you.
You are still in hiding.
I'm also gonna need a,
I believe you're on one, two, three.
Give me a wild magic surge for last turn.
- All right.
Hey, four.
- Cool.
One, two, three, four.
- How does that keep on happening?
- Yeah.
Okay, I would like to go
straight to this thing
that's already been
crashed open by the moped.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- And get a weapon.
- Dope.
Go ahead and get a little
history check there.
- Let's see, that is a 16.
- Cool.
Yeah, you can just grab
a sword straight up,
long sword out of there.
- Are there any g*ns in there?
Any muskets or anything like that?
- Not in this one.
You'd have to go into
some of the side chambers
to look for those.
- And they might be for
different time periods, right?
- Yeah.
- Gotcha.
Okay, then I grab a sword
and then I have, wait.
Okay, I'll just use the sword, nevermind.
I was gonna do some f*ck,
but I decided not to.
- If you want to do some
magic and some f*ck,
you can absolutely go for it.
Also, if you want to combine
one of these historical items
with a spell, that's also totally okay.
- That's my question.
Okay, here it is.
And feel free to veto this.
But I wanted to obviously
use quicken spell,
so that I can cast minor illusion
and get ready for the f*ck.
We are in dreamland.
So, potentially an
illusion can become real.
I am going to minor
illusion a vial of dysentery
and pour it on this sword.
- Cool.
(laughing)
Hell yeah.
Yeah, if Pete wants to do
that, do that shenanigans,
go for it.
- Does it change anything about the sword?
Okay.
- I want to watch this and
see this minor illusion thing.
- Yeah. Let's see.
Well, I can't really get to anybody.
I guess I just have this sword ready.
Is that what I want to do?
Interesting.
You know what?
Yeah, okay, we'll just stick with it.
Let's just f*cking stick
with it, I made my bed.
And I put dysentery all over it.
(laughing)
I got diarrhea in my bed.
Nothing left to hide with.
God dammit.
Hit the bed.
- This spell, can it work?
- I think spells would work, right?
I mean, I dunno.
- Oh really?
- Yeah, you can...
If you want to do some
spells, do some spells.
- Wait, I thought like, no.
it all had to be from the time period.
That's just with weapons?
This changes everything.
- Yeah.
Do spells Pete, go for it.
- Could you use minor illusion
to just wave the sword like a
wand and sh**t a fireball
instead of giving it dysentery?
(laughing)
- I love the creativity.
- I feel like the illusions are real.
- You eventually die.
You eventually--
- [Brennan] Yeah, exactly.
- Listen, everybody (laughs)
I'm just trying to think
outside of the box.
- Three-to-eight days.
These ghosts will die of a painful death.
- Why on earth would
I ever do any of that?
No one can...
(laughing)
I simply, let's see.
I'm just gonna cast cone of cold
and I'm just gonna do a
normal cone of cold try to...
Let's see, 60-foot cone.
Can I hit both of these?
- [Brennan] I think so.
Yeah, for sure.
- [Pete] Yeah, they're only 15 feet away.
- [Brennan] Oh, absolutely
you can hit both of them.
Yes, yes, yes.
- Cool, I cast cone of cold
and I minor illusions
dysentery onto that cone.
(laughing)
- Pete, go ahead and give me
an arcana check real quick
and then give me that cone of cold damage.
- Okay.
Ooh, arcana is 25.
- Pete, you're in dreams.
You clock, you read one of
the plaques about, okay,
like late 1200s.
Grab that sword and just
slash a hole in time open
to an incredibly fierce
blizzard from the 1200s
here in dreaming.
Go ahead and roll your
cone of cold damage.
- Is the cone of cold gonna come through?
'Cause they're (laughs) dysentery.
- It's just sh*t and snow.
- So, a minor illusion is scarecrow,
and then I have everyone worship me.
Okay, that's 38 to each.
- Incredible, they both failed their saves
and take full damage.
- Incredible.
- Have we k*lled anything yet?
- No, not yet.
- I'm in really bad shape
to do anything (laughs)
without being able to stun.
Maybe other things can get stunned though.
- They're looking hurt, hurt, hurt.
That is gonna go from Pete's turn.
Things moving around in the dark.
(dramatic music)
- [Iga] Oh, here he comes.
Here is that samurai.
- Moving out there?
That's going to be
Kingston, that is you.
- I called the Sofia.
Sofia are you going hunting,
or are you just staying
out of the line of fire?
- Oh yeah, so I don't
mind being a little hurt,
but I am gonna just keep disengaging
to sort of keep myself
from getting attacked.
I think I'm in a position
that I won't be able
to get super hurt a bunch.
- Okay, are you going
further into the museum
to see if there's anything else there?
- Yeah.
The unicorn cast pass without trace on me,
so I thought I maybe I might--
- g*dd*mn, that is kind, okay.
- It was really sweet, yeah.
- Great, well, we'll hold it down in here.
Okay, Brandon shenanigans question,
can I call on those same
thoughts and feelings
that allowed me to float
earlier to now fly?
- I will allow you to call
those same thoughts and feelings
to roll either athletics or
acrobatics with advantage.
Yes, absolutely.
- Wait, but can I fly?
That's my real question.
I'm not interested in hovering anymore.
I'm now interested in fly.
- I'm gonna need Kingston
to make a flat wisdom check
without proficiency, because
Kingston is not practiced
at whimsy and you need to,
on a flat wisdom check,
if you hit a 15,
you can levitate a little
bit off the ground.
And on a 20, you can fly this round.
It's a round to round thing.
- Great.
So plus five to the
roll, 15 I can levitate,
plus 20 I can fly?
- Correct.
- Oh, that's a 14.
- Oh no!
You just try to summon the thoughts
and grounded reality comes in
and spoils your happy thought
as you attempt to fly.
What does Kingston do?
- Great.
I'm like within his 10
foot reach of this guy--
- With both of them actually.
- With both of them, okay.
I think I'm gonna,
I'm gonna disengage.
- Cool.
(laughing)
- I'm gonna disengage.
I'm gonna go five...
I'm gonna come and, this seems dumb.
Oh, come on.
Yeah, I'm gonna disengage
and dart into here.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- Oh, and there is stuff going on in here.
Great, I'm gonna, yeah,
I'm gonna disengage.
Let's see, how far can I go?
- [Brennan] You can get
through the doorway,
and you'd be out of the
reach of those knights.
- Okay, I just don't
know what's in this room.
- [Ricky] I can tell you.
- [Kingston] Okay.
- [Ricky] Are where I'm at?
- [Kingston] Yeah, I'm in here now.
Yeah, I'm just gonna come in here.
It's just weird, 'cause it's like--
- [Ricky] There's dudes in here.
- [Kingston] The darkness
is very, it's upsetting.
- [Ricky] I can't see really much at all.
- Me neither. (laughs)
Okay, yeah, I disengage
and run into this room
where they're not big knights.
Oh sh*t, okay.
Oh, there's sh*t in here too.
- Are you up here?
- Yeah, I think I just ran...
I'm just out of your reach.
- [Ricky] Okay.
- If you go up one more square,
Kingston, you can see through
you can see down the whole hallway.
- Okay.
Okay, perfect.
Okay, yeah.
I could see down the hallway.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- What a thrill.
There's a lot of broken
cases up ahead y'all.
- It's actually going to be,
JJ slipped in the initiative a little bit.
So, JJ is now going to go.
He's going to throw a fire bolt right
at that continental soldier.
- Hell yeah.
- All right.
- Where is JJ?
- King sh*t, JJ.
- Top left corner.
- [Brennan] 19 hits.
(crew applauding)
Hell yeah.
We love to see it.
- We love to see it, JJ.
- He deals eight points of
fire damage to that thing.
Throws a bit of flame at it.
And that is going to be now I believe,
now it's Alejandro's.
- Yeah, so he'll close with
that knight, first attack.
Does a 23 hit.
- 23 does hit.
- Okay.
Is there anyone within 10 feet of him?
- No, I don't believe so.
Or no, Cody's within 10 feet of him, yeah.
- Cody, have you taken any damage?
- I don't think so.
No, not yet.
- I don't think it matters.
He does 17 points of damage,
and then gives Cody 17
temporary hit points.
- Holy sh*t!
- Alejandro, this is a
good incarnation of you.
- Yeah.
- He says, "Listen, you
put a wizard into paradise
to study all of heaven's books.
He does not get LESS powerful.
You know that thing wizards
say, where they go like,
'Strike me down and I
will become more powerful
than you ever...'
It's true, I am vastly more powerful."
And just thuds with the mace
into the like horse snout of this Barding.
He looks at you and says,
"You are Cody 'Night Angel' Walsh, yes?"
- Yeah.
- I am Alejandro Ortiz.
I am angelic celestial
benefactor former head
of the Gramercy Occult Society, be well."
And you see you are covered
in protective runes and light.
- All right, and he'll go again.
- Hell yeah.
- That's a Nat 20.
- Holy sh*t.
- Yes, Alejandro.
- Alejandro come in after not focusing up,
here he is.
- He focused.
There was just too many
people in the room,
he was distracted and socializing.
- Exactly, I needed to
get out of the room,
so that Alejandro could focus up.
That's gonna be six, seven,
so 13 plus three, 16 plus five
for 21 points of damage.
- Alejandro yells at
you Kingston and says,
"Why didn't you leave the room
when I was going to do something
cool for the first time?
My best friend, I missed you."
- We're gonna do a lot
more cool sh*t, all right?
- "Okay, wait one second."
Alejandro turns and says,
"You face the wrath of a wizard?"
His eye goes gold,
he takes out his Juul.
"Peter! It's still cucumber habanero!"
In a runic smite,
he not only thuds into this
knight, he fully disenchants it
and all of the armor
thuds across the room.
On a Nat 20,
he reveals that disenchanting
works particularly well
against these animated suits of armor.
- We love to see that.
We love to see that
- Incredible.
Kingston with this summon,
this summon is good, man.
- What's up, dude.
Thank God you let us level up,
'cause I don't think I would've
gone back to the spells
and been like, "Oh, what's new?"
I would have been like,
"Well, I have what I need."
But no, thank you Unearthed Arcana.
- Just in time for the
Plate and Barding to go,
you have removed one of the
biggest enemies from the board
right before their turn, baby.
Cody, you're gonna get a
swing, attack of opportunity
on one of these dudes.
As he backs up, go ahead and take it.
- Okay.
This dude is quite hurt, right?
'Cause he took a cone
of cold and my big hit.
- Yes.
- Okay, come on.
15.
- 15 does not hit.
Two attacks on Pete.
- Ooh, two.
Wait, doesn't Iga get
an opportunity attack?
- No, because she's out of range.
- Sorry.
- Those are two 19s.
- Shield.
- We cast shield.
They both overcome the shield.
Each of them just got a 27.
- Dammit.
- Pete, you take 49 points of damage.
- [Kingston] g*dd*mn.
- I'm gonna also need
the first four of those
are eight, three, that's 16, 20, 26.
I'm gonna need a DC 13
concentration check.
- Okay.
- What spell do you got?
- Hey, 18.
- Hell yeah.
Next one is gonna be eight,
five, 13 plus four is 17,
plus six is 23.
Next is gonna be a DC
11 concentration check.
- Okay.
17.
- You pass both of them.
The unicorn stays safe.
- f*ck yeah.
(upbeat music)
- This dude is going to back up.
This guy is going to
continue charging past you
to keep charging at Cody.
This guy's going to charge Cody again.
One's gonna get a second
attack not as a charge.
That one misses Pete.
Two attacks coming as charges onto Cody.
One of those is a hit.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
Cody, you take 17, 22,
28 points of damage.
Final attack.
- I'm still at 81.
'Cause of the dude with the Juul.
That dude rules.
(laughing)
- Then that is Plate and Barding,
as the knights charge through the room.
That is now going to be Ricky.
- Okay.
Can I hold my musket
up in front of this guy
with a musket in front of me,
and have Ox bite it out of
my hand and hit him with it,
so it's Ox attack with the musket?
- Yeah, 100%.
Yes, go for it.
- A dog with a g*n.
- Ox is going to try to
attack this man with a g*n.
- Cool.
- So that would be...
He gets a plus six for, to hit for biting.
Would that--
- Yeah.
- Can I just use that?
- Yeah, use that one.
- And he has pack tactics.
And I'm right next to
him, so he has advantage.
- Go for it.
Does a 14 hit this dude?
- A 14 does not hit this dude.
- Okay.
Okay, well, that's Ox's turn.
Pretty cool turn.
(laughing)
I am okay.
So, Ricky is gonna take an
opportunity attack, I think.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- [Ricky] And step back over here.
- [Brennan] Awesome.
- [Ricky] To hopefully see those dudes.
I'm gonna use dispel magic on this dude.
- Hell yeah.
- Whichever one doesn't look that hurt.
I dunno if any look more hurt than others
on first glance.
- That one's not hurt.
- The one fighting Pete?
- Yeah, there's only one
that's hurt, I think.
That one's hurt.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna use it on the
one that's fighting Pete.
- Hell yeah.
Okay, this is a big one g*ng, hold on.
Ricky's DC is 16.
We're looking for a 12
or lower here, g*ng.
(dramatic music)
- [Pete] Can I--
- [Brennan] Oh, you want to do bend luck?
- [Pete] Yes, please.
- Go for it.
Roll your D4.
Two, that's exactly what she needed.
- Yeah!
- Pete, you've warped the dream realm.
Ricky, you rush in here,
reach out to stop this harmful magic.
The armor clatters apart,
and falls to the ground disanimated.
- Hell yeah.
And I think I probably got
attacked from that thing
in the last room.
I don't know if you rolled that yet.
- Yes, we're gonna go ahead
and resolve that right now.
That is a hit.
Ricky takes eight points
of damage from a bayonet.
Incredible turn, Ricky.
That's gonna be Iga.
- Oh boy!
God, this is not...
There's not an enormous
amount that I can do.
- Iga, if you can do
a little bit of damage
to this dude in front of me,
I can try the same thing Ricky just did.
I also have dispel magic.
- Oh, you do?
- I can maybe take out
the full health guy.
- I'll Eldritch blast the guy--
- [Brennan] In front of Cody.
- [Iga] Right to Ricky.
He's had quite a lot of damage, right?
- [Brennan] Correct.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
That is a, sorry, a 26.
- That's gonna hit.
- A dirty 20.
- Two dirty 20 hits as well.
- And then one that doesn't hit, a 12.
- You get to fire three times, wow.
- Yes, now that I've levelled.
- Go ahead and roll your damage.
- Great.
Six plus 14, so 20 damage to him.
- Iga, what do you, as you
reach into the core of yourself,
you're flying overhead,
where do you go magically?
This is the first real
battle magic you are doing
after having that
confrontation with the ghosts
in the chest and reaching
out to that thing
in the deep bottom of the castle.
- I weirdly think that
in the past Iga's magic
has looked very flashy but fake.
And I think now she's just
not putting any effort
into that stuff.
So it doesn't look as exciting,
but it looks like real magic.
- You guys see, Iga reaches
out for this Eldritch blast
and a channel opens of pure legend.
Helixing flittering banners
through the gaps of which
you guys can see ancient
forests and castles
and swords flicker out.
And this suit of ancient
Eastern European armor
from a castle in what would
be modern day, Poland,
you connect with it.
And for a moment, the face
of the ancient Polish knight
that once wore this looks
at you and in Polish goes,
"What the hell?"
And collapses to the ground disanimated.
As part of you reaches out
and connects with that story,
and you feel something reach
out and remember that story,
the armor is, not only
have you disanimated it,
you've also mended it.
It no longer has the
injuries that it had before.
And it's actually perfectly preserved,
though it is no longer harming you.
- And then I would like for
Misiek to grab one of these,
these are all broken in here, right?
The glass is all broken,
it's on the floor?
- [Brennan] Yes, correct.
- So, I'd like Misiek to grab a katana.
- [Brennan] Hell yes.
- And then fly it out to Cody,
'cause he's gonna need
it in just a second.
- Oh my God.
- God dammit.
- This is the best day of my f*cking life.
Every day I wake up,
this is the best day of my g*dd*mn life.
First a f*cking devil shows up,
flying in a freaking
balloon and fight people.
Now I got just swords everywhere,
free swords, armors alive.
- Cool.
- Cool, super cool.
Cool.
Misiek runs out and grabs that sword.
This dude sees Kingston enter.
He's going to step here.
Make three attacks against Kingston.
- Three?
Three?
- Kingston, hits you for,
Jesus I'm rolling well,
for 25 points of damage.
Gonna need two DC 10 concentration checks.
- 25, damage okay.
Number one, oh, what's the DC?
- 10.
- That's a nine.
- Brutal.
You see, as it reaches out and slashes,
Alejandro looks out at you, Kingston.
It sort of surges past and says,
- Oh, bend luck!
- What's that?
- Can I bend luck?
I'm so sorry, I should've
been quicker with that.
- No worries.
- I mean, it's no matter what, right?
'Cause you were one off.
- Okay, great.
- Hold on, what was the
last thing you bend luck on?
- You bend luck on my turn for--
- Yeah, that's true.
- Have you done it twice since--
- It probably will take a reaction.
- Takes a reaction to do, I'm pretty sure.
- Yeah, it does take a reaction.
My bad, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- No worries.
- But I also want this to not happen.
So, I'm gonna do just a straight up
Pete, give me a wild
magic surge in order to
go ahead and give me a wild
magic roll one through four,
as you reach deep into your--
- 13.
- 13?
Great.
You may burn more sorcery
points to bend luck
in this instance to keep Alejandro here.
I'm gonna need that second DC 10
concentration check from Kingston.
- (laughs) That's a Nat one.
- Oh no!
Pete, you reached out and bend
luck spend the sorcery point
for the extra reaction.
And Alejandro goes,
"Yes, we're going to...
And you see that, Kingston,
you are slashed by this weapon
but also feel something severs the cord
that Alejandro is
connected to you here by.
Alejandro vanishes to paradise and says,
"Kingston, Kingston, I
will be waiting for you
in the JFK of Nod.
At the Cinnabon,
find me at the Cinnabon!"
And vanishes.
- That sounds good.
- Incredible.
(Ricky yelling "NOOOO!")
(laughing)
- Your "NOOO!" to the idea
of eating at Cinnabon.
(laughing)
- It's too many empty carbs.
- Incredible.
This fencer rushes out of
one of the side galleries
to close with you, Pete,
but has no movement left.
That is going to be Cody.
- Sweet.
Take my new katana, do a little twirl.
And then I go, " I'll have to
wait to use you until later."
And then I say, "Two
sides of the same coin."
And I cast dispel magic on
the armor and wink at Ricky.
(laughing)
- Hell yes.
- Just to really paint a picture, (laughs)
for a Japanese person to
see a man, a white man,
with a katana.
(laughing)
It's the situation, it is what it is.
(laughing)
- Cody is a true shithead in this moment.
- I know he doesn't mean anything by that.
- I love it so much.
- He used the dispel
magic, not the katana.
- Incredible.
- Can you please just let me use it?
(laughing)
Do you want to use the katana?
- I kind of do, I kind of do.
I'm sorry--
- Just 'cause the
samurai guy is just about
to jump out of the door towards Cody.
Otherwise, obviously I wasn't
given the katana to you.
- Oh, it's quite logical.
- Oh yeah.
Cody hears Ricky say that,
and you have a free object
interaction on your turn.
- Yeah, hell yeah.
I'll toss the katana to Ricky.
(laughing)
- I'm more of a Raphael anyway.
(laughing)
- Okay.
- That's Cody's cultural
reference for katanas.
It's from ninja turtles.
I love it so much.
I'm more of a Raphael anyway.
Cool.
You toss it across.
Ricky, you're holding
the musket in one hand,
you grab the katana in the other.
Cody's DC is 16.
These dudes need a 13 or higher,
and we have no more bend
luck coming from Pete.
Here it comes.
11.
- Hell yeah.
- Bazathrax roars in your chest,
"f*ck out here, dude!
f*cking get lost."
The armor collapses, boom!
Last Plate of Barding.
Last Mounted Knight of Barding.
You guys will make quick
work of those knights.
Incredible.
It's back to the top of
the order, that's Sofia.
- Okay.
I'm going to, just in case
Pete gets hurt, I think...
Do I have a concept of,
if banishment would make
the unicorn re-emerge
on the platform that it was banished from?
- Yes, it would reappear right there.
You've seen Pete banishment before.
- Then, I'm going to cast darkness
in a 15-foot radius around
where the unicorn would reappear
if they're unbanished, if
Pete loses his concentration.
And then I would like to
stealth, I can walk on walls,
so I would like to stealth
into this next room.
- Hell yeah, go for it.
- Just like The Gift,
like the ghost from...
Not The Gift - The Grudge.
- Yeah, maybe I just say
crawling on the ceiling. (laughs)
Okay, so I have a lot
of movement, so hold on.
So, I guess I'll just
kind of like walk around.
And it's really hard to see here.
Let me just try to measure it.
- I would actually scoot back
out four cells to your left
if you would.
- Four cells to my left.
Oh, okay.
So, what am I seeing here?
- You see the hallway
around the gallery up here
and you look down and see a hallway
with the unicorn tapestries
from the Cloisters down there.
With the unicorn tapestries
from the Cloisters
with the unicorn erased
from the tapestries.
- Okay, can I then step
of the wind and run to it?
- Yes, absolutely.
- Where is it precisely?
Is it down here?
- Yeah.
You run down there and
as you now see, Sofie,
the unicorn tapestries and the Cloisters,
and something that is only
here in Nod, stashed away,
it is a giant plinth of stone
- Is it a sword in a stone?
- It is a giant sword in a stone.
- I think we know which one of us is...
(laughing)
- I mean, I guess I'm gonna do it.
No, I'm kidding. (laughs)
- Okay.
- You should try.
- I think even though I
just stealthed in here,
do I see any combatants in
here that I'm gonna alert
if I shout?
- You don't see any combatants in here.
- Okay, there's a sword
and a stone in here.
I'm a monk, so I don't need it.
It feels like, I don't know,
maybe someone really
special with a heart of gold
should come in here and
claim this weapon. (laughs)
- You hear a moped revving.
(laughing)
- Jesus!
- Incredible.
(Ricky yelling)
That's Sofia.
Oh sorry, I actually read it,
that our continental
army thing is gonna go.
Ox is gonna get an attack of opportunity.
Or actually, sorry.
Sanctuary, right?
JJ has sanctuary on it.
So he has to pass the -
It's a wisdom save, right?
- Yes.
- Absolutely fails the wisdom save.
JJ is protected, but is gonna go for Ox.
- Okay.
- Hits Ox for 13 points of damage.
- Okay.
Oh, okay, he's still up.
He's got 19.
- (barks) Ox yells at this...
I was gonna take a second attack,
Misses Ox on the second attack.
That is now going to be
Pete, that is you.
- Awesome, I am just
going to take a full dash.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- And then, can I prepare a cone of cold?
- You already have cone of cold.
You do by the way take
five points of damage
in an opportunity attack.
Oh sorry, no, 10 points of damage
from that renaissance fencing
attire as you move away.
- Okay, interesting.
Actually, yeah, I'm
just gonna ready a spell
that I have as a bonus attack.
- Oh, so you're gonna do Quicken spell
to ready the action?
I will allow that particular
shenanigans in this case.
- Amazing, and cool.
I mean, I'm not quite
sure what I'm preparing.
Do I have to know that for sure?
- Yes, you actually, with a reaction,
you need to give me
what's gonna trigger it,
and what it is that you're doing.
- I am preparing dispel magic
from my bracelet for like
if someone magical comes up.
One of these like empty--
- [Brennan] Oh, you
know that there's that,
the renaissance fencing thing
is right there next to you.
Here, let me--
- [Pete] Before I left?
- [Brennan] Yeah, before
you left, right here.
- Okay.
So then instead of taking
that 10 points of damage,
maybe I'll just dispel magic
on that and then do my big move
then do Pete's big move.
- Pete's big move.
- Hell yes.
This guy's got to get a 16 or higher
to resist the dispel magic.
That is a four, dispelled, bam!
- Incredible.
- Incredible, Pete.
That is Pete's turn, disanimated.
Hell yeah.
This incredible ornate suit
of feudal Japanese armor
comes warring out of one of the galleries.
And it's going to take two
attacks on the Night Angel,
hits with both.
10 plus 10, 20 points of damage to Cody,
as that suit of armor and
slashes across your chest.
JJ is gonna light up this suit of armor
with a fire bolt again.
Let's see how JJ does.
- Come on, JJ.
- That's a hit, baby.
- Hell yeah, JJ.
- JJ reaches his hand out at
this continental army uniform
from the revolutionary w*r
and goes, "f*ck you, man."
And a stream of flame, the felt catches.
The uniform is engulfed in flame,
and he completely disintegrates it.
- Yes, JJ, yes.
- That animated armor is no more.
Hell yeah, JJ.
That is gonna be Kingston Brown.
- Hey, you know what they say?
The hits keep coming.
Let's go dispel magic on my man.
(laughing)
- How did everyone get this spell, wow!
- Yeah, I don't have this spell.
- I literally just took it before today.
- I'm impressed.
- Truly amazing.
Once again, this dude
needs a 16 or higher.
This is not one of the big boys.
Hell yeah.
Kingston, this armor that
somehow severed the cord
that was bringing Alejandro
here from paradise,
or this thing didn't sever the cord,
but is attached or alerted whatever did.
What does Kingston do as this
thing squares up with you?
- I just kind of lean back a
little bit and I'm just like,
"Whoever's on the other end of
this, we're coming for you."
- The metal burst apart,
and clatters to the floor harmlessly.
- Another intimidating
phone call from Kingston.
(laughing)
- All I need is a phone number.
All I need is a phone number.
(laughing)
- Incredible.
Plate and Barding no more.
Ricky, that is your turn.
- I'm so glad you did that,
cuz I was about to toss the
sword back to the Night Angel.
- Back to Cody.
- I got you.
I got you, Ricky, go get him.
- Okay.
Ox is gonna move and pick me up,
and we're gonna run all
the way to the samurai.
- Hell yeah.
- So, that's--
- I think I have one more third level.
I'm gonna try to dispel him,
although I could dispel somebody else.
- Actually don't currently see it.
- Where is this sword in
the stone back here, Ricky?
- There's just the one guy?
- Yeah.
- Ricky, Ox definitely
has enough to get you
to within charging distance
where you could use your own
movement to close the rest
of the way.
- Okay, we'll charge over here with Ox.
And I'm just gonna take
two attacks on this suit.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah, dude, go for it.
- First attack.
What are the stats of this katana?
- It's one D 10 damage.
- Okay, but to hit it's a 10 as well?
- You would use the same,
so it's non-magical.
So, it's just one less than whatever
your magical sword would be.
- Okay, so does a 20 hit?
- 20 hits.
- Okay.
So, I'll just roll my second attack.
Well, I'm gonna re-roll that. (laughs)
Okay.
And then a 27.
So, two hits.
First hit is a D8.
If I'm using two hands, is it a D10?
- Yeah, it's a D 10.
So, you have a D 10 here.
And are you doing any smites
or other stuff like that?
- I get the improved divine
smite no matter what.
- So, it's a D 10 plus a D8.
- Okay, and then I'll use branding smite.
So that would be how much
was branding smite at?
It's the second level.
So 2 D6 from that.
- Yeah.
- And then, yeah, I'll
use the second level
divine smite as well.
- So, that's gonna to be,
so yeah, that's three D8 plus two D...
Or, so it's five,
it's four D8 plus one D10.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
The branding smite is two D6.
- Plus two D6.
Four D8 plus one D 10 plus 2 D6.
Do you want to roll your second attack
just to confirm real quick?
Or have you already--
- I rolled that and I hit.
- Okay, so you have another attack.
Are you doing any smites on
top of that attack or no?
- I haven't rolled it yet.
Maybe I have to resolve this one first.
- Cool, yeah, go ahead and
resolve this one first.
Four D8 plus one D 10 plus two D6.
- Okay, roll a one on the D8.
So, six, eight, 14 plus
nine, 23 on that attack.
Oh, plus two more D8, whoops.
Great, so plus 10.
What did I say, 28?
Yeah.
- So yeah.
So wait, so that's 28 damage plus 10 is 38
- 38 on the first attack.
- Amazing.
- And then it, f*ck it,
another divine smite
on this second attack.
So, that would be one D 10.
So 10, and then 11.
17.
So, 27 on the second attack.
- Whoa!
- Ricky, you close with
this katana in your hand.
(laughing)
Iga's presence - faces flutter
into the armor everywhere
of the people that once
wore them or made them.
You step forward into this
armor that has been animated
with magic and you know
that it's just magic
animating this stuff.
Because as the faces appear in them,
the faces look confused to
see their armor grappled
by some force that is using it.
And as you step forward,
this armor turns wide stance.
Faces you in a moment of pure silence.
You both move at the exact same time
and you bury your katana
in the center of the armor.
A ghostly face fills
the armor for a second.
Looks at you, smiles.
Is filled with warmth and sudden life
as though remembered in perfect detail.
Speaks to you and says,
"Thank you for this..."
- That's how he died. (laughs)
- And you see, it says,
"Both for this release,
and for not letting it
be this f*cking kid."
(laughing)
- I couldn't, I couldn't let that happen.
(laughing)
- The armor clatters you
are all out of combat.
Incredible.
- Since we're out of combat,
can we maybe see the board now?
- Yeah, let's go for it.
- Yeah, I had no idea
that we were almost done.
I was just like, I didn't
see any of the rooms.
- [Sofia] Yeah.
- [Brennan] Let's undo the--
- [Crew] Wow!
- Just so that everyone knows,
there is a sword in the stone back here.
- I do think for dramatic purposes,
we should all try to draw
the sword from the stone.
- Oh, and have Ricky go last.
- I think it will more
satisfying when we fail.
- Don't do this to me now.
- Me first.
- Oh, it's so hard.
It could never be for me!
- What if it's me, though?
- I'm trying my best.
- I try to pull the sword.
- Incredible.
- Ricky's gonna tell Cody,
"Thank you for letting me use the sword.
I appreciate you tossing it to me."
- No, that was
I'm a f*cking idiot sometimes.
And I'm sorry that I've
been, I don't know.
I freaked out at you before
about the sword and sh*t,
but I know that it used to be your sword.
And, I don't know, sh*t's just f*cked up.
- Hey, I mean, just to be
clear, katanas are cool.
They're just really, really cool.
- Right, yeah.
It was weird.
So, I just wanted to
swirl it around and sh*t,
but that was dumb.
- Hey, I mean, I would
like to swirl this around.
I just start doing this.
- Hell yeah, dude.
- You vibe with the swords for a moment.
(laughing)
- I'm trying to pull the
sword from the stone,
but I'm doing it like this.
- It swings pretty good.
- Hell yeah, you guys go to the next room.
I will say Cody and Ricky,
you guys are swimming
in swords these days.
There's just so many f*cking swords.
You guys arrive in the next room.
Hold on one second, let me just see.
And yeah, you guys see
this stone facing you.
The banishment fades, and a
very wounded unicorn appears.
Looks over at you and
says, "Pete, oh my God."
And comes up and nuzzles
your arm and says,
"I was one of the first people you saw
in your first day in here."
- Yes, you were.
- "You are the sweetest thing.
You got me out of trouble there, mister.
I swear to God."
- I hope you're okay.
Where did it banish you to?
Back to home?
- "No, it was kinda like a
three and a half hour acid trip
wherever you sent me.
But, I'm fully back."
- Three and a half hours?
- Well, time was kind of suspended.
Y'all time has been weird in Nod recently.
It's getting shallow in here.
I don't know if you all know that,
but it's getting f*cking wild.
Listen though, I'm so happy
that you all are back.
I haven't seen the other two
of the three great spirits
in a long time."
- You mean the juicy c*ck?
- I was gonna say the c*ck.
- The juicy c*ck and
the spicy pigeon y'all,
I have not seen them.
- Oh no.
- That's always what it's been.
It's the three animals you
think of when you think
of New York City.
You think of a juicy c*ck,
you think of a spicy pigeon
and then just a regular
unicorn, and that's me.
- Can you say spicy pigeon
three times, please.
- A spicy pigeon, spicy
pigeon, spicy pigeon.
What are you hearing?
- I'm just imagining that
you're ordering at Chik-Fil-A.
(laughing)
- I would not order at Chik-Fil-A.
Honey, no, I would not be there.
I don't support that
establishment, thank you.
- Sorry, yeah.
- Incredible.
You guys approach this room
with this incredible sword
in the stone in front of you.
- Does it say anything?
- Ricky, if you're not gonna do anything,
I'm gonna go look for a weapon for myself.
(laughing)
- There is this enormous sword there.
And you see that some
words have faded from it.
Once again, things being erased.
It says, "Whosoever
pulleth out this sword,
is right-wise [faded], born of [Faded]."
- Cody is just shaking,
but having just had that talk is like,
we should think about this
and figure out kind of
what we should do with the sword.
- Cody, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Just that there's a sword there.
We should definitely think
about what we should do with it.
- I mean, Iga you seem
to be pretty powerful
with this kind of stuff right now.
- Yeah, is there some kind
of check that I can do?
- Yeah, give me an arcana check.
And go ahead and make that with advantage.
- Great.
Yeah, 25.
- You look at this sword
and see that this sort
of accompanied these unicorn
tapestries from the Cloisters.
JJ takes a look at it
as well alongside you.
You see that this is not Excalibur, right?
Real Excalibur would be back in England,
but this is some kind of
dream weapon that lives here
in the arms and armor exhibit of the Met.
But, something is deeply
forgotten about it.
There is some force out
there erasing things.
With that high arcana,
you would know that because
this has just lived in dreaming
and doesn't even have an
analog in the waking world,
whatever was written here
is gone and gone for good.
But that doesn't mean that something new
couldn't be put here.
- Okay.
Is that something that
I feel like I could do?
- To write something here?
- [Iga] Yeah.
- You reach into yourself
and feel a deep and powerful
attachment to things,
but not just things in
a materialistic way,
the story of things.
You feel a deep power about
the past and legend and myths.
And, it's the fact that things are,
some of the only,
people go, people fade away,
but the things they write and leave behind
that live on past them,
and that love of glittering treasures.
Not because of their price,
not because of their value,
but because they are the
stories of the things
that came before us.
You feel like you could write
on this and make something.
- It's like a Mad Libs?
(laughing)
- As Ricky says, this is a Mad Libs.
The sword gleams a little bit.
- Oh boy!
- Wait, it says now, "Is
somebody the son of somebody?"
- No, it says, "Whosoever
pulleth out this sword,
is right-wise blank of blank."
- I think that...
Oh, you can go.
I think it's kind of
like a choose yourself
kind of thing, isn't it?
- Yeah, anyone can probably take it.
Yeah, totally.
- I think it's just someone
who really deserves it.
- I don't want this.
- I don't want the sword.
- Pure of heart, perhaps.
- I've been burned before.
- Ricky, take this sword, come on, man.
- Ricky, take the g*dd*mn
sword, I wanna go!
- It's gotta be Cody, right?
I wanna see Cody with this sword.
- It says, "Whosoever
pulleth out this sword,
is right-wise blank of blank."
Ricky, I think you would know the...
Well, maybe you wouldn't.
But, JJ remarks and is like,
"Yeah, it's like the King
Arthur thing, right?"
King Arthur's Excalibur said,
"Whosoever pulleth out this sword,
is right-wise King of England."
But this doesn't say King
of England, it says...
- I will say, I'll go...
Ricky will walk up to it and
attempt to hold on to the hilt
and try to pull it out
and say that he will be
I'll pull this out in order to
be the protector of New York.
- You wrap around the sword,
you say protector of New York.
Where is Ricky's heart at as he does this?
Does he believe these words to be true?
- He believes the words to be true,
but he, you know, there's...
He has this other sword.
He's been using other swords.
He kind of feels lost
in some ways, I think.
But, knows that that's what he wants.
Even if it's not the sword,
that's what he wants to do.
- As you go to pull the
sword out of the stone,
I think you have this sword in the stone.
You're holding a peasant
sword that you got
from Iga's castle.
There's musket, there's katana.
These are historical weapons around you.
When Ricky says he's the
protector of New York,
he said he's feeling a little bit lost.
I think maybe Ricky feels
like maybe it's none of these.
You don't need this sword
in a stone's permission
to be the protector of New York.
And maybe you don't, what is,
I'm gonna turn it over to you, Zac.
Ricky's been looking for a little while.
That questing blade is still over there.
Peasant sword, sword in the stone.
What's in Ricky's heart right now?
He's looking for answers.
What is he thinking of as he
stands on top of this stone?
'Cause it feels like
the sword in the stone
is not it for him.
He doesn't feel like that's the answer.
- I think he's realizing
after looking at Cody
that he's maybe not a sword guy. (laughs)
- Cool.
Hell yeah.
- And kind of remembering his axe
and remembering what that felt like.
As I'm saying this,
I'm also realizing I don't
want to make the same weapon
that Gorgug had, honestly.
So, that's outside of the show right now.
I'm just thinking of that.
- No, for sure.
Hey Ricky, if you look at
where you are in the map,
you're right near a staircase
in one of these other side corridors.
Every stairwell comes equipped
with a fire extinguisher
and a fireman's ax
right in the glass case.
- I tell everyone to take 10 feet back.
(laughing)
Get out of the way, 'cause
of shattering glass.
- Can't you just the dodge action instead?
- Yeah, he can take the...
Okay, I trust you.
- You're just like getting closer.
- I take the butt of the
musket and break it open
and I take out the fireman's ax.
- All of you watch Ricky
explode with light.
Ricky, you are the protector of New York.
And, you don't need a magic
sword to tell you that.
You don't need some magic
thing from an ancient castle.
You need none of it.
Any fireman's axe that you
hold would have the properties
of the hero wielding it.
And the fact that this
ax rests in glass cases
to help people in their times of need,
is all of the magic that
Ricky needs to imbue this
with the power of a true hero.
- I take the axe, sort of swing it around.
(laughing)
- I have a question.
Does anybody else really want this sword?
- No.
- I wouldn't be able to use it.
I kind of want to look for something,
but I can't use a sword.
- I'm wondering if,
can I, I mean, I know this
isn't like a customizer,
like dog chain engraver machine.
But, if I walk up to it and
put my hand on the sword
and say, "Look, I need to
give this sword to someone
who I owe a lot of money to."
Can this sword say, "The
hacker of New York." (laughs)
It's worth a try, okay?
I just need it to be custom.
- Try no matter what.
- Ally, roll a D20 for me.
(laughing)
- Oh God!
- Okay, look, this old a*s sword...
Well, instead of hacker,
can it just say exposer?
Maybe that's a little bit more--
- The exposer of New York?
- The exposer of New York.
- Think about what that word means.
You're just thinking about the word.
Think about what the word means.
Don't have it say exposer of New York.
- This is going to say, the seer of all.
I think that's something
that f*cking 53\/3N
would get off on.
Okay, when am I rolling?
- What is your roll flat on the die?
- 15.
- You go and yank and fully
pull a muscle in your back.
The sword will not come
out of the stone at all.
The unicorn goes,
"Peter, why don't you
come on and step down.
I don't think that (laughs)
I don't think that was gonna be, I don't--
- I get it.
- I thought it was a nice try, Pete.
I mean, actually, I don't know anything
that's going on with you.
- Okay.
So just to be clear, nobody
else wants the sword?
- No.
- Nobody, you can try and
take the sword from the stone.
- I am the wielder of the
ultimate double blade,
thirsting blade. (laughs)
- Where is Cody at in his heart as he--
- 100% believes that he is the wielder
of the double blade thirsting blade.
- You guys see appearing in huge fire,
JJ looks up and goes,
"My God, it's happening."
You see it goes, "SOUL MELD!
DOUBLE XP! WIN CONDITION!
THIRSTING BLADE! DOUBLE WEAPON
EXCALIBUR - LEGENDARY STATUS!"
A double blade of the
thirsting blade and Excalibur,
becomes the Double Blade: Dark
Excalibur / Thirsting Blade
(laughing)
- It's like the worst sword.
It's like 100% a worse sword.
- Sorry Sofia, it's fused
into one double weapon.
This thing weighs easily 275 pounds.
It is like 15 feet of steel. (laughs)
And you see, as you pull it,
you hear reverberations throughout
the sixth borough echoing
into the night.
That's all for this episode
of The Unsleeping City.
Tune in next week.
Truly, truly remarkable.
- Oh God!
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08x09 - Fight at the Museum
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.