(uptempo violins)
(thunder claps)
(mouse squeaking)
- Hello one and all.
Welcome back to another thrilling episode,
the final episode of Mice and m*rder.
I am your humble dungeon
master Brennan Lee Mulligan,
and with me as always our
Sylvan Sleuths, say hi
Sylvan Sleuths.
- [All] Hi Sylvan Sleuths.
- Our animal investigators
rush through the rain
and the dark, thunder crashing overhead.
(Brennan makes thunder noises)
As lightning strikes out against the sky,
the imposing figure of Loam
Hall, the hill, Tufting Meadows
in the miles surrounding,
and the threat of m*rder.
Our companions scatter, all
knowing what they must do.
There are several people
here on the grounds that we
know are working for the Cottonbottoms.
There are people abounding
suspects, who could have done it?
So much of the crime
has been put together,
how it was done, the
strange and diabolical
contraptions responsible
for the horrifying
acts that occurred this night.
Fletcher Cottonbottom is
somewhere in Loam Hall.
As you all rush forward, Buckster
$ Boyd, Daisy D'umpstaire,
Vicar Ian Prescott arrived at
the front door of Loam Hall.
What do you do upon arriving there?
(Sam laughs)
- You know, I think
Buckster at this point, like
he has been his whole life,
a very independent creature
but with his self interests aligned
with the self-interest of
the rest of these suspects,
he has felt a sense of community for one
of the first times in
his life and being a part
of this mystery party,
morbid as it has been,
has been a real once in a
lifetime thrill for him,
and he recognizes that in this moment
he has a particular
ability to do something
to help the rest of his party
that's within his wheelhouse
and it's to create a diversion.
And so that's what he's gonna
do and I pound on the door.
- Boom, boom, boom, boom,
Buckster pounds on the door.
The door opens to reveal the concerned
and then mollified face
of Ambrose Harding.
Uh, Mr. Boyd, Ms.
D'umpstaire, Vicar Prescott.
- Before he has too much of a moment,
I want to see if I can charge
past him and say in the
loudest voice I possibly can,
ladies, gentlemen and otherwise, follow me
into the drawing room for
I have solved this mystery.
(all laugh)
- Go ahead and give me an
opposed athletics check.
I'm going, I'm just gonna
push past Ambrose Harding.
He rolled up, all you
have to do is beat a six
on an athletics checks.
- Ooo.
- Whew, that's a 19 how about that.
(all cheer)
- Um f*cking, it's like
Super Mario Brothers.
This turtle goes scooting down
the hallway, just the shell,
he woos, he spins off
down the hall as you rush.
- Aw Carlos.
(Brennan laughs)
You see, everyone's like,
oh, what the devil, ah,
and scoot off down the hall.
The two constables who you know
are secret criminals, but
are, and have been terrorizing
and shouting at these
guests, look at you come in.
I am going to need the mother
of all deception checks here
in a moment as you rush in.
Daisy and Vicar Ian, you're also here
and able to act at the same time.
What is it that you are
doing in this moment?
- I can't help him with
his action at all, right?
- Anyone can give the help
action only just as an action.
It's the only thing you do
that turn but if you want,
if someone wants to
give Buckster advantage.
- I'll give Buckster advantage.
- Yes.
- Hell yes and is there anything Raph,
that Vicar Ian wants to do?
- I mean, I still, I got
my eyes on Ms. Molesly.
- Absolutely, if you want
to like stay hidden and then
try to scoot past here to find
Mrs. Molesly, you absolutely.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm going to do that.
- Cool, go ahead and
give me a stealth check.
You need to beat a 14.
- 18.
- Oh baby.
- You f*ck.
- You faked your face.
- You go, so Vicar, as
Buckster pounds on the door
and the door swings open,
you in a very unpriestly way,
full Mission Impossible
slam against the wall
next to the door.
(all laugh)
And the door is left open
because Harding scoots
down the hallway, Buckster
runs through the drawing room.
Here comes the mother
of all deception rolls.
Before you do, it's deception opposing
the insight of the criminals.
Buckster, I am going to
roll these insight checks
because it is opposed.
Box of Doom, never has there
been a more important lie.
- I have advantage on this?
- You have advantage.
I'm going to roll the first insight check.
- [Katie] Come on, baby.
- Okay.
Okay.
(Grant laughs)
Buckster.
- You're not going to tell me.
Okay, whoo.
- Audience knows what I
just rolled and I'm going
to tell the audience right
now that these criminals
only get a plus two to
their insight check.
They are proficient
insight from detecting lies
but they don't have any
bonus to their wisdom score.
So they have a plus two to
what you just saw me roll.
Buckster, I'm going to
need you to roll deception
with advantage.
- Ally and Rekha, oh my goodness.
- That's a nat f*cking 20.
(all cheer)
- Crazy, that's nuts.
- Hey, Buckster one of those
criminals rolled a natural 19.
(Sam laughs)
- Wow.
- Coming through in the clutch, Buckster.
- Was that the first one?
- Second one, second one.
- Second one, oh my.
- The first one was a 20,
the first one was at 21
and the second one was a Nat 20.
- Oh wow.
- Oh my f*cking God,
Buckster you rush in here,
ever since you arrived in England,
the place that birthed your
father, your ancestral homeland,
but a place that given your
father's poor fortune, knowing
that his old classmates and
friends here looked down on him,
someone that was suckered
in, lost his fortune,
there's always been a kind of rage
within you at the
aristocrats in this place
and all of their quietness and
trepidation, their manners,
their little subtle games,
for the first time Buckster,
you unleash and fill this
Manor house with a degree
of pure American volume,
your booming voice shattering
the dust off the chandeliers saying,
I have solved this mystery.
Just your raw status fills this place.
You easily know in the
entire history of the place,
this is the loudest thing
that has ever happened in this house.
(Sam laughs)
- And there was a sonic
boom maybe that started
this whole thing off.
- This is louder.
- Three people were m*rder*d
here but Buckster is the craziest thing.
- Thunder ain't got nothing on me.
- Yes, they don't, these Brits
don't know how to project
when they scream.
You charge into the drawing
room, the constables look at you
and just this raw cowboy magnetism,
as you seem to have solved the mystery
of the conspiracy that I
remind you, they are in on.
(all laugh)
- They forget this.
- And they go, all right,
you all heard the man,
get into the drawing room,
and they begin to corral
the party guests into
the drawing room as fast
as they can, pushing them in.
- Wow.
On that Nat 20, not only do
you have these constables hook,
line and sinker plus any
other constables that come
in to join them, but through the power
of this pure chicanery, this
Southern drawl, fast talking,
slow talking conman, every single one
of your allies within Loam
Hall will have advantage
on stealth checks for
the rest of the episode.
- Oo.
- f*ck.
- Hey.
- Nice.
- Including the docks?
- Including the docks, that is correct.
- Hell yes.
- Way to go, Buckster, Buckster
they drag as many people
as they can into this room.
You see that there are
definitely some missing
people, like Mrs. Molesly,
obviously, but also,
they dragged some other people
off to privately interrogate,
beat up or throw into other rooms.
But the majority of the guests
are here in the drawing room
with you, as well as two
of the five constables.
One of the two in here by
the way, is bandaged up
pretty badly and you
recognize as the person
that Sergeant Vandenchomp
laid out in the kitchen.
- Yeah.
- [Sam] Got it, got it, got it.
- Cool, Buckster $
Boyd, what happens next?
(Sam laughs)
- Mm hm.
- Good beasts of Tufting Meadow.
When the detective is your suspect,
who do you call to solve your mystery?
Why the answer is one Buckster $ Boyd.
The dollar sign stands for
right on the money, now.
- Wow, wow.
- Most Americans are straight shooters.
So if you'll forgive me for
getting straight to the point,
Detective Cross is innocent.
(all gasp)
- Gasps.
- And essentially what I'm
doing here is I, I'm doing
a trust fall into my
accomplices, imagining
that at some point they are going to show
up and fill in the gaps.
The real k*ller is here in this manor.
Police, in the interest of public safety,
I ask for you to seize
at once that red herring.
(all gasp)
- All heads turn to the red
herring in the room and you see.
- [Ally] Aw.
- The red herring goes,
the red herring has like a
thing in their hand and goes.
- f*ck you Sam, that's so good.
- That's so funny.
- The red herring is going
like, prttt, not again.
(all laugh)
And you see both of these constables,
you understand are doing
this because they actually,
you see the both constables
go, right get him,
and leap and just club the
sh*t out of this red herring.
- Aw.
(all laugh)
- Kicking the sh*t out of him, he goes,
I am an innocent fish,
this keeps happening.
I should never have come
to this dinner party.
- Aw.
- I love that.
- This keeps happening.
- This keeps happening.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- Every party I go to.
- Every party I go to,
someone accuses me of m*rder
and kicks the sh*t out of it.
- Buckster, you have
these people spell bound
for as long as you want.
- [Ally] Incredible.
- Additionally, I will let you know,
is there anyone you want to
look out for in particular
in the room right now?
- That is a very good question.
Yeah, I'm wondering if Carolyn
Dickory and Edwina Thimble
are here and I'm wondering
if Hawkins is here.
- Mm.
- Hawkins is here.
- You see both of them
are in the room, Hawkins.
Here are the people that
are in the room right now,
Hawkins and Edwina and
Carolyn are both in the corner
of the room, looking horrified.
Harding walks in a moment
along with Mr. Gilfoyle,
you can tell like just lifted him up.
Armond Armadillo is here and
those are the only people
that I'm going to mention
to you as definitively
being here at the moment.
- Very cool, okay, love
that Armond is here.
Am I done for now?
- I think you're done for now.
I'm going to go to Daisy first
'cause you're in the room
but you see that Buckster, he's
got it from here basically.
Like you have helped like conceal,
like helped bolster him on
and helped conceal the Vicar.
So Daisy, what are you going to do?
- Am I allowed to slip out
of here or do I have to stay
in here because I helped him?
- No, you're good, he's got it from here.
- Okay great.
- And because you helped him
and he got that Nat 20, as a result,
you now get advantage on
trying to slip out of here.
- I need to go to the
tower, I simply have to.
- [Brennan] Go for it.
- So am I rolling stealth for that?
- You're going to roll
stealth with advantage,
that's correct.
- Okay great, I turn away
from everyone in the room.
Daisy, emotionally at this
point, she is rattled.
She has felt that after the
password snafu where she,
you know, second guessed
herself, she's like thinking
to herself, this is exactly
why I can't be with Sylvester.
We throw each other off our game too much
and neither of us succeeds
and she's really trying
to evaluate her life choices.
She said to Buckster,
this is her last ride.
Is it her last ride with him
or is it her last ride ever?
She's almost 60 years old,
which in raccoon years
is, you don't even want to know.
(all laugh)
So she musters all of her might.
She says one last ride for Sylvester.
(Grant gasps)
And she rolls, okay, that's a 22
and then with advantage so
I'm going to do another one.
20, so 22
- Incredible, Daisy,
you slip out of there.
You've been, you know, this moment
of considering legacy in the
past, how many times have you
twirled your beautiful evening
gown to slip out of a room
of genteel people to help
yourself to the inner workings
of their manor houses?
More times than you can count.
Like a practiced hand, an expert,
one of the best in the world,
you vanish up the steps
of Loam Hall towards the
tower and begin to advance.
Vicar Prescott, while Daisy
and Buckster are going
into the room, you already
made your stealth check here.
Where do you, as Daisy and Buckster head
into the drawing room and
the crowd of people goes in
past them, where do you use
this opportunity to run to?
- Oh sh*t.
(Rekha laughs)
I mean, initially I was going to go to.
- Mrs. Molesly.
- To see to, yeah, to see to Ms. Molesly.
Damn, I'm trying to think.
Should I still do that or
should I go help in the tower?
Now that I have this stealth check.
- What would a priest do?
- Yeah, I mean, I think I
would care to Ms. Molesly
more than the tower because
she's getting her a*s kicked.
- Go ahead and make an
investigation check for me.
There won't be a huge negative
result if you don't make it
but you will have to probably
guess where to go look for her.
- Right, okay, investigation you said?
- Investigation.
- 16.
- 16, okay, awesome, you
saw through the window
when you were down in Gangie's cottage,
you saw the constables
dragging her upstairs.
So that's the most information you have.
- f*ck.
She's upstairs somewhere.
Where would the Vicar Ian
go to look for her upstairs?
- sh*t, what the hell is
upstairs, the bedrooms?
Are the seance rooms upstairs, right?
The library.
- The seance, the library,
the billiards room
and the bedroom, so the bedroom wing
and the leisure wing are both upstairs.
- Okay, let me go to the bedrooms then.
- Awesome, we are gonna
move from you back to Daisy.
- Mm hm.
- You arrive at the door
that goes up to the tower
to find the door locked.
What does Daisy do as she
confronts this locked door?
- Hmm, I have my thieves'
tools, can I try those out?
- Hell yeah, go ahead
and give me a roll with
your thieves' tools.
- Okay.
- You can just do
sleight of hand for that.
- Oh gotcha, okay cool.
21.
- Again, one of the
world's greatest criminals,
thieves' tools in, pop the
lock, close it behind you
and can easily, you were
so good with that 21
that you can actually just leave it
locked again as you go
past, if you want to.
- Hell yeah.
- Oo.
- Or you can leave it unlocked,
what do you think Daisy would do?
- I think she locks it.
- Hell yeah (locking noise) locked again
and you continuing on your stealth check,
go up the stairs heading up to the tower.
You go up and up and up through the tower.
Go ahead and give me an
investigation check real quick.
- 21.
- Tracks going up here,
constables, they have dragged
people up here, you realize the reason
the door was, well you
don't know necessarily
the reason the door was locked.
There could be a lot of
reasons the door was locked.
People have been dragged up here
by the fake constables and had
the sh*t kicked out of them.
As you arrive up, you
can see the first sort
of window, tcher, tcher,
lightning coming outside.
The first room off the spiral staircase,
the first landing, you find a small room
and a little window, very
dark and dim in here,
where three of the party
guests have been brought
and had the absolute
sh*t kicked out of them.
- Mm.
- The three people you
find up here, go ahead
and give me a medicine
check real quick too.
- Okay.
20.
- Hell yeah, you see the three
individuals that are up here
in this room that have all
look like the constables
have kicked the sh*t out of
them are Simon Shellcrest,
Lawrence Longfoot, Eoighan
McCrae the Scottish sheep.
- Oh whoa.
- With that medicine
check, ah, this is gonna be
the first time I make death
saving throws in the game.
(Ally gasps)
We're going to see if any of
these people have actually
been bludgeoned to death or not.
- Whoa, that's six rolls.
- Okay.
(delicate, tense piano plays)
Cool, you see that all
of them appear to be hurt
but in various states of unconsciousness.
With that 20 medicine check,
do you want to tend to any of them?
You feel like if you were
to go, like if you were
to inspect, you could
potentially like wake some
of them up and maybe figure
out what happened here?
But it's also totally up to you.
- Oh, I feel like, oh I don't
know, I feel like Daisy.
How long are they going to talk to me for?
Is it going to be like a long thing?
(Grant laughs)
- Probably not, probably not.
Of the people, if Daisy
is worried about who here
is the most annoying from
how I've been playing
these characters,
definitely Eoighan McCrae
will talk a lot like a wild
person, Simon Shellcrest
they were, the professor
was pretty silly as well.
Lawrence Longfoot was pretty
normal when he was talking to.
- Yeah.
- Okay cool.
- Very begrudgingly, she assesses
like this guy is going to talk my ear off
and he's drunk as hell, this
guy is a nerd and she talks
to Lawrence Longfoot and
sees what the deal is.
- You go, with that 20 medicine
you do a little bit of
first aid, Lawrence wakes up
and says I ain't done nothing,
I ain't done nothing, uh
and looks up saying the
last thing he was saying
as he was getting bludgeoned
about the head and shoulders.
He looks up and says Miss
D'umpstaire what's going on?
Are you, are you working with police?
- Listen, let me catch you up.
The police are bad, Sylvester's
good, what happened?
- The constables, they're
looking for Mr. Cross
and for you as well, ma'am.
They're running around
trying to find everybody,
but, are they still here,
are they still downstairs
- They are still downstairs,
they are being captivated
by my former business partner, Buckster.
They are accomplices to
Fletcher Cottonbottom.
The police are bad, Sylvester's
good, tell me what happened.
I'm going to repeat that again.
- You see he says, they
took me up here, made me,
I asked me where Sylvester
Cross was, I says,
I don't know nothing, they
beat the ever living stuffing
out of me, I fell asleep
and now I'm awake again
and I simply refuse to go back downstairs.
So if you're saying they're
bad, please, can I, can I,
please take care of me?
(Rekha sighs)
(Grant laughs)
I feel like I've struck a
vulnerable nerve here with you,
hit on some deep philosophical.
- Do I really need to
take care of this guy?
(Grant laughs)
Can I like, is he going
to like die if I leave?
- It is truly up to how, I
don't want to pressure Daisy.
It is truly up to her in this moment.
- And what is his occupation again?
He's a journalist or
he's the parliament guy.
- Newspaper.
- He's a newspaper magnate.
- He's the magnate.
- He's the magnate, yes, yes, yes.
- I pull them real close
and I fish out a pen
and some paper from my
various folds, say, I attended
to you, I helped you, do me a favor.
Write up the following
headline, the police are bad,
Sylvester's good, I need to go upstairs.
(all laugh)
- He is like following you,
being like the police are bad,
Sylvester's good, might
need something a little more
of a hook in, you know, something like.
- I'm not the writer, b*tch.
(all laugh)
- Something like that.
- Amazing, Daisy, you
move upstairs, followed
by Longfoot, furiously
scribbling in his notepad
and with that high
investigation you had before,
see a little bit of mouse fur tucked
onto a sharp edge of
stone from long, long ago.
You think, you know, who's waiting
for you at the top of this tower.
(thunder roars)
Incredible, incredible.
We're going to cut to Sylvester Cross,
Sylvester moving through the rain.
We're going cut to a couple
minutes ago in the past.
What are you going to do?
- So this knotted rope that I see.
- Yep.
- How far down the tower does
it hang, could I climb it?
- Yes, you believe you could
because, you can see from
like the buildings here,
some of the roofs do
actually touch the ground.
You think you'd be able
to pretty easily clamber
up to the rope, you might have to make
an athletics check somewhere
there, somewhere along the way
but it's not going to be as hard
as if you were just scaling it freehand.
- Well, my other two options,
I have three options.
I have four options, I can.
(all laugh)
I can stay put, option one, option two,
walk in the front door,
that's a terrible idea, that won't work.
Option three, try to take the
elevator, like go back down
through everything and try
to take the elevator back up.
Also won't work, it's too hot.
So I think climbing is my only option.
I have such a bad body,
but I, 'cause I'm so broken
from my fall, but it's my only choice.
I'm going to start climbing Loam Hall.
- Hell, yeah
- Oh, persh, persh, lightning
silhouettes Sylvester Cross
covered in rainwater, his
immaculate suit drenched through.
- Aw, damn.
- And even though he's past
his slightly past his prime,
somehow dashing and romantic
drenched in rainwater,
you get to the knotted
rope and begin to climb.
Though this is difficult
terrain due to the rain water,
the knotted rope is going
to give you advantage
on this athletics check.
Go ahead and roll with advantage,
if you would be so kind.
- Plus zero athletics,
let's see how this goes.
- Oh lord, come on, come on.
- An eight.
- Okay.
- Come one.
- And an 11, so an 11.
- Painstaking, crawling hand
over hand up the knotted rope.
Sylvester, you are looking up,
your body wants you to stop.
This is one adventure too many.
On an 11, I'm going to ask you Sylvester,
is this the end of your
story, do you let go,
Or do you find the will to push through
even if it costs deeply?
- Fletcher Cottonbottom's
at the top of this tower,
I find the will.
(all clap)
- An 11 is high enough to get
you to the top of the tower.
- Yeah.
- But not without taking
four points of subdual damage
as you push your body to
the limits of its ability.
Rain pelting down, prsh, freezing wet.
You can feel the power of
nature against your hide
but there is a mystery to solve
and there is a mouse to save.
You will not be stopped,
you will find Fletcher.
- Oh, I've got to quit smoking.
(all laugh)
- What are you at health wise?
- You're smoking on the rope.
- You slide every time
you go to hold your pipe.
- It's a filthy habit, oh,
I've got to knock it off.
Terrible, terrible.
- What are your hit points?
- I think I have five hit points,
am I reading my sheet correctly?
- You should have 15, so
you are at an 11 right now.
- Oh okay.
(Ally whistles)
- Oh, that's.
- You push.
- But now I also lost four points
when Daisy hit me in the head,
did I ever get those back?
- Yes, you would have gotten
those back on the short rest.
Absolutely.
- Gotcha.
(Sam laughs)
Sorry.
- Sylvester you crawl, prsh, prsh, prsh,
and I'm going to need one
more sleight of hand check
from Daisy D'umpstaire as you arrive
at a locked door at the top of the tower.
- 26.
- Oh my god, Rekha,
once again, effortless.
- What do you add to sleight of hand?
- Seven.
- Whoa.
- Incredible.
- And I rolled in 19.
- Yeah, woo.
- Sylvester at the exact moment
that you pull yourself up
to the open windowsill
where you see a small little
bay seat and empty dust
and like rubble covered,
one of those like attics that is filled
with various like knickknacks and chests
and stuff like that, including
an old dusty standing mirror.
You pull your head up over the windowsill
just as the door opens to make eye contact
with your beloved Daisy D'umpstaire
and you arrive perfectly
at the same moment.
- Of course.
(plucking violins)
- Yeah, a little help.
(all laugh)
I mean, I'm hanging out
here, a little help.
- Daisy, you both look
over though and see,
Daisy before you can go to
help Sylvester, you look
and see like, oh my
god, they're chained up,
crumpled up on the floor
in front of the dusty
standing mirror which Daisy
you see is a little bit thick
and a little bit bolted to the ground,
the emaciated body of Connor McCabbage.
- Oh, Connor McCabbage,
okay, wow, this is a lot.
And do I have an action?
- Yes, both of you can act,
both of you can act right now.
Connor looks, I think
you help Sylvester up.
- [Rekha] Yes.
- Through the window and
Connor McCabbage turns up
to look at both of you and
says, you were the woman
I spoke to in the mirror.
- Yes.
- Yes, I've been trapped.
He looks up at Daisy and Sylvester both
and tears form in his eyes.
Weak thought they are and as dehydrated
as he is and he goes, I
can't believe you found me.
Thank you.
- You are absolutely quite welcome.
I'll tell you two things, first,
I couldn't solve your m*rder
and so I'm pretty
thrilled to see you alive.
(all laugh)
- Still undefeated, remain
the best in the world,
doing great, second of all,
I'd like to roll a medicine
check for Connor McCabbage.
- Absolutely go for it.
(Grant laughs)
- A two, plus six is eight.
- Can I also roll a medicine?
- Yes, Daisy, go ahead
and roll medicine check.
- 15.
- The two of you kneel
down to start attending
to Mr. McCabbage, Daisy on a 15,
you can clearly see
malnutrition, dehydration.
This dude has been living in
the attic of Loam Hall forever
and as both of you look down, Sylvester,
I think your medicine
check is a little bad
because there is part of
you that is really shaken
because you're like,
of course he was alive.
That's why we couldn't
solve the f*cking m*rder.
- I think you're a little
distracted by your own
like personal attachment
to this but we kinda gotta.
- I took so much sh*t in the papers.
Do you have any idea how
much sh*t I had to eat?
- Hey Sylvester, I think I.
- They forced, I was like a dug-
- Sylvester, hey, I put
my finger on his lips.
I say, for once you simply must shut up.
(all laugh)
- With that.
- A lot of love.
- The two of you look at Connor McCabbage
who laughs a little bit at
your bickering and says,
it's so nice to see faces.
I've been crying out for
Catherine so many of these nights.
And as you both look at the open window,
you realize the Catherine
McCabbage has been hearing
the voice of her husband on
the wind all these long months.
From there, we are going to cut
to a tall Doberman Pinscher rushing
through the rain towards
a dockside boathouse.
Lars is f*cking, hoo, hoo,
hoo, Lars your running.
- Like a terminator.
- Lars, your body is so f*cking cool.
It's so big and strong,
it's your just rules
when you move, you're
just into your own body.
- Holding onto my little hat.
(all laugh)
- And you could hear
Buckster's booming voice coming
from Loam Hall, giving you
advantage on this stealth check.
- Yeah, can I stealth and
sneak attack this guy?
I mean, I don't know if
I have sneak attack but.
- You don't, but you can definitely,
if you make the stealth check,
you can definitely attack with advantage.
I'll tell you right now,
the number you're trying
to beat is just a flat 10.
That's the passive perception.
- Oh, incredible, so
let's stealth first roll.
We don't beat it with that one.
But we beat it with that one, 13.
- Hell yes, Lars.
This is what you do, baby.
You are the person that does the flexing
in the Sylvester Cross mysteries.
Anytime someone needs to get apprehended,
anytime somebody needs to get laid out,
anytime someone would be a
little bit more persuadable
if they were halfway up
the wall, that's you baby?
It is Lars's time to shine.
You bolt down the hill toward the dock.
You are going to go to Roll20
and I need you and you
alone, Sergeant Vandenchomp
to roll initiative.
- Oo.
- Okay, what do you think that was?
- Judging by the sound of it, mm, 14?
- Nat 20.
(all cheer)
Which I wish had been
an attack roll but yes.
Nat 20.
- Oh my f*cking.
So then I, for sure to get
the jump, I mean, unless.
- Well let's find out, let's see.
- Oo, what if they rolling a Nat 20?
- And then we fall in love.
(all gasp)
- Well, I'll tell you this,
I'll tell you this right now.
They don't.
(all laugh)
Lars, so you round the corner, you can see
where you are, right Lars?
- Yeah.
- Awesome, and there's
only one guard there.
You rush around the corner
charging out of the dark.
This is going to be an important one
but you have had a short rest
since the last time you fought.
Go ahead, this is an
important one, because again,
you guys are low level
characters, you get one attack.
What is Lars's bonus to to his attack?
- Plus seven.
- Okay, these dudes have
an armor class of 12
so you hit them on a five or higher
but if you roll a four lower,
this dude's gonna be
able to sound the alarm.
Go ahead and roll your attack roll.
- Okay, and with surprise,
do I get advantage or anything like that?
- You do, you get advantage
on the attack roll,
that's correct.
- Incredible, okay, first roll.
That's a dirty 20, second roll.
- Hell yes.
- Oh yeah, okay, we'll go
with the 20, 20 attack.
- Yay.
- Incredible, incredible,
you run up, hit this guy.
Go ahead and roll damage.
- Okay, oh, you f*ck, all
right, that's nine damage.
I'm going to action surge.
- Very wise. Sergeant
Vandenchomp, you action surge.
Go ahead, roll your attack again.
- Okay, yes, 26.
- Hell yes, you do nine damage,
you need to do six damage.
- I did six, I did exactly six.
- Oh my god, you do exactly
15 points of damage.
Lars, you leap around the
corner, skid across the wet dock.
This crooked constable turns
around, puts the dog whistle
to his lips, one meaty fist - stomach.
As he goes down, the next upper cut,
unconscious across the
jaw, he spins in mid air
and is laid out completely
unconscious on the dock.
No one hears a thing, Lars.
- I look down at him and go,
hey can I ask you something?
I was thinking about joining the force
and I walk back.
(all laugh)
Oh sh*t, I mixed up the
order, or whatever, it's okay.
- And you see this person is standing
in front of a locked
door to the boathouse.
- Oo, okay, so I guess I
have to, I don't think I have
thieves' tools or anything like that.
- You do not.
- But I have really strong athletics.
Can I just do an attack
on the door to kick it in?
- Give me an athletics check.
- All right, let's see,
oo, that's only a 12.
- I think that you, you go
and try to like push the door
and you try to sort of rattle
the door, like hit against it.
It doesn't, the door
doesn't appear to open.
You hear a voice inside,
as you say that going,
oh, are you, are you
trying to come inside?
- Wait, what the f*ck,
whose voice is that?
- That sounds like Lucretia.
- Yeah, it does.
- It does sound like.
- I say, yeah, it's, it's me, I'm a ghost.
Please let me in, I have
so many answers for you.
- Holy sh*t, I'll be right there.
You see, incredible, I'm
not even going to make you
roll deception, it is the perfect lie
for that moment, automatic
success for Ally Beardsley
in this moment and its perfect
that Lars would say it.
- It's me, a ghost who
can't go through the wall.
(all laugh)
- Hello.
- A very polite ghost, knocking.
- Yeah, exactly.
- A corporeal ghost, I
completely believe it as I do
everything mind you.
The door opens, Lars
looking into the boathouse,
the completely dark boathouse,
you see Lucretia who is
completely unmanacled,
opens the door and the
bound and gagged bodies,
still alive of Constance
Brockhollow and Dr. Corbin Magpie
are both on the ground in the boathouse.
Both of them look up to you
terrified, going mm mm mm mm.
- Okay, first things first, yes, it's me.
I look like Lars, but they k*lled me
and I became an instant ghost.
I try to move kind of flowy
like swirling around the room.
- Give me an acrobatics check.
- For how beautiful it is?
- For how beautiful it is.
- That's an 18.
- 18, honestly, it's very convincing.
Lars may have been a dancer at some point.
Like it's an incredible, it's
a full body, it's full body.
- Natural athlete in general, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Ballet is kind of figure like.
- Yeah.
- Incredible, so I flow over to the two
of them and I go, let
everyone have a voice.
The living and the dead
and I ungag the two of them
so that they can say whatever
they're trying to say.
- Yes, you ungag them and
Constance goes, oh, Lucretia,
what in the nine hells is going on here?
What the f*ck is happening,
what's wrong with you?
Lucretia says, my dear darling niece,
everything will be explained
when your father arrives.
He should be here, presently.
He's just attending to
matters in Loam Hall.
- Wait.
- Constance goes, father is
dead Lucretia, he's dead.
And she says, that's only
what you think the body
in the study was a decoy.
You shouldn't necessarily
believe everything.
(all laugh)
- Then I say she's exactly right.
Haven't you put it together yet?
Your father was going
to pretend to be k*lled
and then, and I turned to
Lucretia to fill in the rest
of the blanks about this plan.
- Ah, yes, yes, listen, the
family's been in a great deal.
You're not going to tell
anybody any of the other ghosts.
- Oh, we already know
everything, we're ghosts.
- Oh, of course, and I know everything
because I am a friend to ghosts, listen,
here's basically what was happening.
As you may know, and do
keep this quiet and Corbin,
I know that you've married
into the family so please no
little gissip-gossiping with
your other doctor friends
that are in London town.
The family has been in a little
bit of debt for some time.
So William explained to
me very simply that ah
financial worries will be a
thing of the past and as well
you know, I don't work and
never have and never will.
- That is good, that's good of you.
- Work is nasty trash and I hate it.
But as you know, my occult
studies are one of the highest
expense items for Loam Hall.
We spend easily in excess
of three to four times
of our highest paid employees salary
on various crystal ba*ls and
incenses and strange powders.
The powder budget of Loam Hall alone
would stagger the imagination
of most common folk.
However, William kept
yelling at me and he said
you have to stop buying powders.
And I said, if you ever
say that to me again,
I'll burn the house down.
(all laugh)
So he found another solution,
rather than me buying less
or no powder, he worked something out
with a number of associates.
I asked who the associates
were and he said, Lucretia,
you are the last person I
would ever give a secret to,
and I said, fie on you, I'll
get the ghosts to tell me.
And then I forgot to ask,
the important thing is this.
The important thing is this my dear ghost
and again, I'm just telling you
because you asked, but I
know that you already know
because you know everything as do I.
That basically he said we
would have to disappear
for a time, the family and
we would have to a tottle off
somewhere and sort of lay
low for a little while
and he said that I should
wait in the boathouse
until he and his associates
could clear everything up
and so I was happy to play hostess.
He said he needed to make
sure that his associates
were happy and you see Constance says,
enough, enough blathering.
She looks up at you, Lars, and says,
this is horrifying to say
in response to anything
that my aunt has said but
this does all check out.
(Rekha laughs)
- You see that Lucretia.
- In what way, maybe elaborate a bit.
- Oh, you see Constance says,
I'm not under the impression
that you're a ghost.
You can stop wiggling and
you see like Lucretia says,
I wish you wouldn't.
You see that Lucretia says,
I'm sorry, Constance says
Sergeant Vandenchomp, my father and I,
I think everyone here knows
that my father's politics
and my own differ quite a great deal.
My marriage to Dr. Magpie was
a source of familial friction.
I moved to London, I was
disinherited from the will
and refused to speak to my
father for quite some time.
A couple months ago, he reached out
to me asking, saying that
he wanted to make amends,
that he wanted to patch things up.
I, for reasons of personal
grudge and betrayal,
I never returned that message.
The letters got more and
more frantic until you know,
about a week or two ago,
he said that he would
forgive me for everything.
He wanted to apologize in person.
He never even used the
word apologized before.
He said, I just needed to be
here for his 60th birthday
and that I should bring Corbin with me.
Having said that, he said
that there were things
that he needed to explain in person.
He said that he'd be
willing to come to London
but me and my father were estranged,
I never really made time, he
became more and more urgent.
He said there were things he
didn't want to put in writing.
I didn't make time for him
and he became more and more panicked.
There was something that
he wanted to give me
advanced notice for and I
never gave him the opportunity
to do it until I arrived
here today for his party.
After dinner he took
me upstairs and told me
that myself and Corbin
needed to disappear tonight.
He said that the family was in
a tremendous amount of debt,
that there had been a great deal of time,
that he had made a terrible
amount of mistakes in his life.
And I said, it didn't make sense.
He'd just given the
endowment to the church,
he had just paid off a great
number of debts, we stopped
getting calls from creditors,
all of this stopped.
And he said that it stopped
because he had been fronted
a tremendous amount of money.
He hadn't gotten out of debt
rather he had moved his debt
from being towards legitimate institutions
which would hurt his
reputation to somewhere else.
You see her eyes go wide here,
she says, he told me that, he told me that
all of this was an elaborate ruse, a con.
He told me that there was a way
for them to trick everybody.
And I said, how Sylvester
Cross is downstairs?
And he said, we've already tricked him.
We tricked him this summer,
we know it will work.
And Lars, you realize in this moment,
the entire m*rder of Connor
McCabbage, it wasn't a m*rder.
It was a troubleshooting,
it was a proof of concept.
It was them seeing if
they would be good enough
at these fake bodies to trick Sylvester.
- Can I say, do you know
who your father switched
the debt to, was it Cottonbottom?
- Her eyes go wide and
she goes, that's right.
If Cottonbottom is still alive,
I suppose that's who it could be.
I know that he knew, he and
Sir Ignatius were good friends.
When they were younger men,
he knew the Cottonbottoms well
and he served in Bavaria at the time
that the Cottonbottoms was active there.
The well publicized, the
fall, of the Rickenbunny Fall.
- You see that she looks at
you and says, but I told her,
and here she starts to weep,
she says, but I told him
he was mad, I told him he was a mad man.
I said, I wouldn't do it.
He said that he had
wanted to give me time.
He had wanted to give me
time to think about it.
He didn't want it to be
a surprise, but that I
had continually blown him off.
I had ignored his
letters and he said that,
he's sorry and didn't have time
but that needed to be tonight.
He said, tonight was the only night
and we needed to disappear.
It was yes or no and I said, no.
I said, I wouldn't do it.
And I said, you need to go
to Sylvester Cross right now.
You need to tell him that
all of this has happened.
If you love me, you will do what is right.
And I saw a look in his eyes.
I saw him decide that he
would, he said, he apologized,
he wept into my shoulder and
he said, I will do this thing.
I said, good, go tell him right now
and then he got this frightened look
and he said, I can't say anything now,
there are ears here at the party.
I'm going to go to my study
and I'm going to write
Sylvester a letter right now.
- Which room was that
in, this conversation?
- She says, that was upstairs
in the billiards room.
- I'm afraid to be the bearer
of bad news to both of you.
As a ghost, ya it's
kinda my responsibility
but your father did do that.
He did decide to go against
the plan and for that,
he paid his life, he,
Squire Badger is dead.
The bodies that they found in
the house is his actual body.
It is not decoy, we
found the decoy unused.
Your father, your brother, he is dead.
- Lucretia looks up, her
eyes, fill up with tears
and for the first time
in her life, she goes,
I don't believe you.
- Aw.
- Constance goes to her to wrap her up,
says Sergeant Vandenchomp,
thank you, thank you.
- We must fight who was doing this.
Do you have any other information?
We think that maybe
Cottonbottom was dressed
as a snail, an armadillo, a turtle,
probably not that one,
a bit of a disguise,
was anyone acting
different than you are
used to seeing them?
I turned French.
(Ally laughs)
- French.
- She shakes her head and says, no
but let us get to the house right away.
We will straighten all this out
even if it destroys my family reputation
and poor Jeremy's reputation.
I will have all of this settled at once.
You see that Lucretia says oh, poor Jez,
Jez was like me, he
didn't know everything,
but he knew that we were
disappearing tonight.
And you see that she
says, his gambling debt
was about as bad as William's debt as well
and you see that like the full picture
of the Brockhollow family comes into play.
Constance says, we can
go to him right now,
we will find an answer to all this
and if need be, if this armadillo
or this Professor Shellcrest
is a villain in disguise,
we will have them unmasked at once.
- Oh, the cops, yeah, the
cops are bad, so you know.
They are Cottonbottom's men.
- I'm a very modern
spirited, progressive woman
and I'm also six foot
eight, so let's just break
their f*cking skulls.
(all laugh)
I will straight up just dropkick one
of these cops right in the f*cking taint
and we'll just have an end to it.
- Let's go.
- Let's f*cking go.
- They are wiggle on out of there.
- Yeah I untie everyone.
- Yeah man.
- Lars and the extremely
angry and grateful Constance
Brockhollow, along with
her husband and aunt charge
up the hillside, back
to her ancestral home.
Sylvester and Daisy are up in the tower
with the rescued Connor McCabbage.
Buckster is holding court down downstairs.
The Vicar is rushing up
the staircase silently.
Gangie Green, the last of our companions.
- Hello.
- What point of entry do you want to use
to sneak back into Loam Hall?
The front door is risky
because that's where
everyone's attention is going
to be, there are windows.
You can climb up to the second
story and try to break in
through a window, there
is also the open doors
of the elevator shaft
even though, you know,
the elevator is trapped all the way
in the satanic ritual
room at the very bottom.
- Right, but I can get
back through that passage
and take the elevator up.
- Yes, absolutely you can.
- And I think that might be cool to do.
- f*ck yes.
- So I wanna do it.
- Hell yeah.
- Gangie, you dart back
down the spiral staircase
that you now know lives in your little
groundskeepers cottage.
Get back to the satanic
little ritual room where
you see the bodies of Jeremy Brockhollow
and Osmond Sheffield, get into
the elevator, turn the key
and head on up, but
Gangie, what are you doing
in the elevator as it's
going up and which?
So the floors you can take
it to are the secret wing,
the kitchen and then the top floor.
Which wing are you taking it back to?
- The floor that has I'm thinking
that Molesly is in her
room 'cause that's where
we had been held when
we were under arrest.
- Yes.
- So whatever gets me closest to that.
- That's going to be the kitchen wing.
- Kitchen wing.
- Hell yeah, the elevator starts to go up.
Go ahead and give me a perception check.
You need to beat, I'm going
to roll in Box of Doom
and tell you what you need to beat.
This is a critical roll for
Gangie Green right here.
The roll you need to beat.
- Oh god.
- I'll tell you after you roll.
Go ahead and roll your perception check.
- I got a 25.
- Nice.
- Well let me tell you a Gangie,
that sure as hell beats an eight.
(all cheer)
Gangie, as the elevator starts to go up,
you hear a voice up at the
kitchen wing as you approach go,
it's moving, it's moving,
it's moving, is anyone.
And you hear the shouts
cannot be heard once again,
over the booming bombastic
voice of Buckster $ Boyd.
You know that there is one sentry of these
crooked constables posted
at the kitchen wing.
- I'm gonna k*ll 'em.
(Brennan laughs)
I'm just going to absolutely m*rder him.
- Hell yes, cool, you take it up.
You see this constable waiting there,
looking to see who it's
going to be, sees you.
I'm going to need you to
roll initiative and you roll.
- 21.
- Mm.
- I'll tell you what, a 21
sure beats a natural two.
(all laugh)
Jesus, Gangie, you arrive at the top.
You see that because of
the noise of the elevator,
this dude has had a second to
like square up and prepare.
So you can just tell
that this person you're gonna
fight has a readied action,
meaning that because he
had time to get ready,
he's going to basically swing
at you as you close with him.
I don't know if that would change
any of your tactics however.
- Katie, you can choose instead
of attacking to use the dodge action
so he gets disadvantage on that attack,
just so you know, mechanics wise.
Yeah, I think I can attack
- You can also attack too, it's fine.
- Hell yeah, the other
thing you can do as well,
if you want is as you're,
because he's like ready
to try and hit you, you could
try to use the hide action,
to make a stealth check
to like not be seen
by him as you approach.
- Yes.
- Cool.
- I think, yeah, that sounds cool.
- 'Cause you're stealth is great, right?
- My stealth good, yeah exactly.
- [Ally] Oh you get advantage.
- Because of Buckster, oh that's right.
- Yay.
- I'll let you know the
number you need to beat.
That's c*ck, okay, you need to beat a 14
on a stealth check rolling with advantage.
- 26.
- Hell yes.
- This dude is sitting here
waiting for the elevator.
He's going, oh come on,
the lady's coming back up
and sees an empty elevator
pull up into the kitchen wing
with a shovel up propped
against the up button
so that the elevator keeps moving up
to stop at the kitchen floor.
You see, he looks out
and says, g-g-g-ghosts?
Gangie, where are you hiding
in or around the elevator?
- I'm on the weaselly
around the top of it.
Like in Matilda, like a.
- Yes.
- Creepy gravedigger Matilda.
(all laugh)
- Gangie is actually eight years old.
- Yes, I should have mentioned that.
- Incredible Gangie, you are completely
flushed to the ceiling.
This guy looks at your shovel right
underneath you where you can
grab it that is pushed up
against the button to
keep the elevator here.
He goes, g-g-g-g-ghosts?
Go ahead, roll your
attack roll with advantage
because you are attacking from hiding.
- Oh my god.
23.
- Hell yeah
- That is absolutely a hit.
Go ahead, roll your, and
you rolled twice, right?
- Yes.
- Awesome, go ahead,
roll your shovel damage
and then roll your sneak attack damage.
- Whoa.
- Only 14.
- 14.
- That's great.
- Only, they have 15 hit points I think.
- It's hit points, it's not like.
- Oh, I was like aw, I failed.
- So 1d8 plus three plus the 2d6 is 14.
Incredible, so Gangie, you see
this guy goes, g-g-g-ghosts.
He pauses, he opens
the door to look inside
and that is when you drop
down, grab the shovel,
you just loom over him,
clang across the face.
Boom, he stumbles backwards.
If he has one hit point left,
he's going to take a swing at you.
Hold on one second, six, which
is what he rolled on the die
plus three is nine.
He swings wildly with the club and misses.
You can attack again.
- Excellent.
- If you get one more hit point.
- He's dead, okay, so
this is the same thing.
It's the shovel plus,
oh yeah, I definitely.
Okay, so I've got a 14 hit, 14.
- Oh sorry, 14.
19, 19, sorry, 19.
- 19 to hit incredible, Gangie Green,
this guy bloody faced, blurring his eyes
swings wildly with his
billy club, stumbles back.
You know, these guys aren't
real police, but you've scrapped
with police plenty of times
before in your long career.
And seeing this dude stumble
back, blood in his eyes,
you come looming out of the elevator.
As you hear this guy's cries
for help drowned out
by the successive gasps
and oratory of Buckster
out in the entrance way.
Gangie, any amount of damage
would finish this person off.
Describe to me what Gangie does
in the hallway of the kitchen
wing to this Constable.
- I think Gangie, well,
the shovel would be easy,
but I think Gangie is using this time.
He's seen Molesly get
abused by people and he's
f*cking pissed so I
think he uses his hands
and he puts his thumbs over the guy's eyes
and he squeezes until it
goes through his eyes,
through his skull, through his brain.
- That is so vile.
- I picture you very calmly
setting your shovel down,
and just like.
(all laugh)
- Incredible, he just goes.
(Brennan screams)
And your thumbs push
through into the soft brain
behind the eyes, one down and
there's still a Mrs. Molesly
to save, incredible, you take off.
You're in the kitchen wing.
Go ahead and give me a stealth check
with advantage to get up
to Mrs. Molesly's bedroom.
- 23.
- Hell yeah.
- f*ck yeah, Vicar Prescott,
you get to the outside
of Mrs. Molesly's bedroom door.
This is the end of your stealth checks.
You've done things but
any new things we'll
need another stealth check from you.
You are outside the door
and hear a voice inside
say, please, please,
mister, there's nothing
more that I want to say.
- No.
- I've told you everything I know.
Oh, you've told us everything
you know, is that it?
You know what's going on.
It was probably you that
told the Badger to turn coat.
She says, I don't know
what you're talking about.
Gangie, from the air vent that you crawled
into the last time you snuck
to the secret vents of the house,
you are looking down
into the bedroom wing,
you hear Mrs. Molesly in her room
and you see the Vicar crouched outside.
He obviously does not see you.
It's up to Gangie what you want to do now.
You could just silently leave the vent
and scoot down the hallway
but you also see that
the Vicar is right here.
- I think that I will alert the Vicar
and this is maybe the first
time Gangie is experiencing
kind of like being on
a team and he likes it.
- Oh, I love it.
So Vicar, you are like, dude, you had your
Mission Impossible moment,
you snuck up the staircase.
There's part of you that's
like, dude, what if I was
like a country vicar that's solved crimes.
(all laugh)
That's some real BBC sh*t,
like that could be my whole f*cking deal.
Like, and you're like, you're
so f*cking boss right now,
you're listening and I
think you just feel a hand
go around your mouth as
Gangie's head is like right
next to your ear.
(all laugh)
- There's just brains on his
fingers in your mouth now.
- Yeah, you've got brains
and eyeball blood on your fingers.
- I'm sorry, I didn't realize.
- You know what, it's okay.
- I should have washed
my hands, I'm sorry.
- Actually, I'm happy to see you
because come to think of it,
I need someone else here.
- Aw.
- Incredible, both of you can
communicate secretly out here
because the constable
inside is sort of, you know
loudly harassing Mrs. Molesly.
You're both outside the bedroom door.
You don't hear anyone else
up here in the bedroom wing.
So the two of you can coordinate
what it is that you want
to do in this moment.
- Perfect.
- Okay well.
- I mean, my instinct is
just to go in and just m*rder
but I don't know if that's even smart.
- Yeah, I mean, maybe I
go in first since, because
you're so stealthy, maybe
I go in first and make
a declaration and then you
come in behind me but this.
- I'm under your robes.
- Yes you go under my robes.
- And then I do a somersault out of of it
and then I have my shovel
and I k*ll everybody.
- Yes, I open up my coat.
- If this isn't fanart,
I don't know what is.
(all laugh)
- So I'm going to need a
stealth check from Gangie
which again has advantage
because of that Nat 20
for Buckster. Vicar, I will
need a deception check from you.
- Deception.
- Oh no, I only got an 11.
- [Both] With advantage?
- Yeah, I rolled really badly.
- Oh no.
- And I have an eight for deception.
- Okay, cool.
- Like Gangie's tail is hanging out.
- So the Vicar and Gangie,
you get all up under the Vicar's robes.
Vicar, do you knock on the
door or do you just walk in?
- No, I just, I kick it, it
doesn't open, then I open it.
- So you make a loud noise
to alert the constable
what's happening and then walk in.
So the constable turns around
and sees one of the people
he's been alerted is working
with Sylvester Cross walk in.
You look like a f*ck' nightmare
because you're a double wide Vicar
and also I think Gangie kind
of never stopped slithering.
So you look like your mass
has increased by like 200%
and you're just kind of roiling
in your robe and a shovel is sticking out
and I think you probably
are wearing Gangie's top hat
which couldn't make it under the robe so.
- Unhand her, you heathens,
by the power of God,
the power that is vested
in me by the Lord,
Jesus Christ and the God of
Abraham, Isaac and Jacob,
you better let, how dare you
t*rture this innocent lamb
of a woman, all while gyrating.
(all laugh)
- You see Mrs. Molesly looks
up at this with her huge
Coke bottle glasses,
lightning strikes outside
and she goes, it's a ghost.
You see the constable
turns around and goes,
ghosts aren't real, you old
bat and then turns back around
to all of you and says, get off it.
You know, as well as I do
there's no such thing as God or ghosts.
And I'm going to need the Vicar
and Gangie to roll initiative once more.
- Oh, a 20 plus the three.
- A nat 20?
- A natural 20.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- I got a six.
- Oh sorry, I think that was,
I don't know if I've gotten a nat 20.
- No, you have.
- You did, 'cause you didn't
announce it before either.
- Oh.
- It says B.
- Yes.
- Okay, Gangie, you are
going to be the first to go.
Just give me a DC 20
acrobatics check to get out
from under the Vicar's robes.
- 20.
- 20 exactly, oh my god, you slip out.
- A nat 20 or a dirty 20?
- A dirty 20 but for Brennan,
I should've said this
in a more excited way,
I did get a natural 20 for the initiative.
- For initiative,
perfect, that is awesome.
You definitely go first,
Gangie, you're like a liquid.
You just f*cking zoop, are
out from under the robes
and back standing up,
you've got your shovel,
take your top hat, you can go
ahead and take your attack.
Now because of the failed
stealth and the failed deception,
you are not going to get advantage
which means you won't get sneak attack
but you can take your attack
on this constable in the room.
- I'll shovel him.
- Go and give me an attack
roll if you'd be so kind.
- I only got a 10.
- You take a swing, this
guy dodges out of the way,
he comes back at you.
- Oh no.
- How many points do you have Katie?
- 25.
- He clubs you across the face Gangie.
- Oh f*ck.
- For 10 points of damage.
- Ah.
- [Sam] f*ck wow.
- Mrs. Molesly screams
and says, not my son.
- Oh.
- Oh sh*t.
- Whoa cute.
- [Brennan] That is going to be your turn.
- Oh god.
- Can I attack, can I help Gangie like?
- Hell yeah, you can
attack, you have your staff,
you have your like Vicar's staff.
- Right, right.
- And you also have like other spells
and abilities that you can do.
So you could like cast like a heroism
or something like that on Gangie
or you can just take a swing at this dude.
- I'm going to, and I can't
do both, I have to choose one
- Got to choose one,
but as a bonus action,
you could give bardic
inspiration to Gangie.
- Okay, I will give bardic
inspiration to Gangie
and also attack then.
- Hell yeah, go ahead and in your actions
and just click that plus
four next quarterstaff.
- f*ck, 12.
- 12 is this dude's exact armor class.
Hey Vicar.
- [Katie] Wow.
- This dude says neither
God nor ghosts are real
and then you strike a man in violence
with your anointed quarterstaff.
Go ahead and roll that little 1d8 plus two
in your little damage
column for the quarterstaff.
- 10.
- 10 points of damage.
This dude clubs Gangie
hard, Mrs. Molesly screams.
What does Vicar Ian do as you do 10 points
of damage to this guy?
- Why that's the very
thing I'd been battling
with this whole time, that's
been my whole inner conflict,
you b*stard!
(all laugh)
- Mrs. Molesly, hey Vicar
Ian, Mrs. Molesly hearing you
call this man a b*stard,
elicits the loudest gasp of the evening.
Oh, Vicar.
- A curse.
- A curse, incredible, Vicar
Ian raises up with the staff.
Clang, you send this
dude sprawling on his a*s
holding his head.
You see, as the blood dripping off the end
of your quarterstaff, that is your turn.
It goes back to the top of the initiative,
Gangie on your Nat 20, that's you.
- I'll do a little shovel again.
And I got a 17.
- Go ahead and roll shovel.
- 17 is a hit, go ahead and roll damage
and now that the vicar
has joined you in combat,
you do add your sneak attack.
- Ooh.
- 10.
- Oo baby, Vicar, you
send this dude sprawling
to the floor, that is all the opportunity
that someone like Gangie needs.
With a whistle as the flat
blade of the shovel sails
through the air and a sickening
crunch, a splatter of blood.
I'll tell ya, decoys are
not, there's for sure
been one m*rder here tonight, folks
'cause that constable is dead.
- And then Gangie, go get the eyeballs.
(all laugh)
- I take the eyeballs and I just,
I pocket them in my cheek, for later.
- Like a chipmunk.
- Incredible.
- Right, like a chipmunk.
- Amazing, amazing Mrs.
Molesly rushes over you, Gangie
and clutches around your waist.
- My dear Mr. Green, I knew
that you would come and get me.
Thank you so much.
Outside, lightning flashes
and Mrs. Molesly turns again
to see the lightning, oh,
what a terrifying night.
This is the second time
that you have witnessed
Mrs. Molesly see a blast of lightning.
- So want to get to the tower maybe.
- For sure, it's also the
second time you've seen
her see a blast of lightning
and not have your pupils dilate.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh yeah.
- What I am now going to do
is we are going to cut back
very quickly to Buckster
down in the entranceway.
Buckster, there's a
bunch of sh*t going on,
you've got a lot of
people down there with you
but I know that you're
holding court in order
to give everybody all this advantage.
You have other people down here with you.
Is there anything that
Buster would try to do
while he's holding court
and keeping everyone distracted down here?
- There's one thing I want to do
and I don't know if it's going anywhere.
It's look a little bit
into this armadillo.
So I think what I'm going to
do is I've been holding court.
I think I have been, tell me
Brennan if this is too much,
I have a glass of whiskey
in my hand at this point
that I've poured myself from
one of the nearby liquor carts.
- Just talking to sh*t and
pouring yourself a whiskey.
- I'm just using pure abstractions
but I am trying to provide
this audience with details
that will be relevant to
the case when it's presented
to them, so I've talked
about body swapping,
I've switched people's
hats around in order
to keep things lively
and at this point, holding
this glass of liquor
I pull Squire Badger's finances out
and I say, now what I have
here are the late Squire
William Brockhollow's personal finances.
I believe that you will find
him in a tremendous amount
of debt as a result of some
extreme purchases, crystals,
powders, so many powders
and if you don't believe me,
I've got an expert
accountant here to prove it.
Now, Army would you, whoops,
and as I approach Army,
I intentionally drop my
glass of liquor to see
if his reflexes are fast
enough to catch it or not.
- Ah, Sam.
- Like in Liar, Liar.
- Yeah, yeah, this is
just like in Liar, Liar.
(all laugh)
- Wait, wait, no, I'm
thinking of the Brady Bunch.
- You're thinking of Legally Blonde.
- Wait, Liar, Liar?
- No I had it wrong.
- Because he's a lawyer in that movie.
- Everybody shush.
- I have just rolled in the Box of Doom.
Buckster you dropped your whiskey glass.
The glass falls in slow
motion through the air,
droplets of whiskey suspended.
Armond Armadillo looks into your eyes,
the glass shatters on the floor.
He slips falls and shits himself.
(all laugh)
No, no, no, no, oh, you
dropped the ding dang glass
on the ground, it got
slippery, oh it got slippery
on my shell, my shell.
- Don't mind him everyone,
the proof of that was just
to say that he is irrelevant to our story.
- Did you need me to look into the books?
Did you need me to look
at the books, boss?
- No actually.
- Oh ding dang.
- And you roll him and
the sh*t just spins in.
- I can't stand up, my sh*t's too slippy.
Incredible.
(all laugh)
I'm going to send some text
messages out real quick,
asking certain people to
take their headphones out.
I just want certain people
to take out their headphones,
keep an eye out, and let me know
if you can still hear us talking.
I still want you to look at the screen
and keep your phone in front of you
in case I need you to come back on
with your headphones, okay?
Cool, I have just sent the
text messages out for people
that I need to take their headphones out
and by the way, Buckster you
can see Hawkins is sweating,
as you pull the finances out.
You see Carolyn and Edwina
are like, wide-eyed,
looking straight ahead.
You see Jeremy Brockhollow
is here and you see that very
confused look as he's like,
what the f*ck is going on?
You see Harding and Gilfoyle
are both here as well.
We're going to cut back
to Mrs. Molesly's bedroom.
Mrs. Molesly looks out
and you see once again
that she doesn't react to lightning.
And I think Vicar and
Gangie, you both look
and see her not react to the light.
You don't see the epilepsy.
- She's in on it.
- Give me an insight,
check again, Gangie Green.
- With advantage?
- Yeah, oh no, just regular.
- Okay, I got an 11.
- Okay, I don't think
Gangie knows for sure
but you don't, I don't know that Gangie
thinks she's in on it, but
you're confused for sure.
- Yes.
- Yeah but you see Mrs.
Molesly turn back around
to face both of you.
What do you do in this
moment of confusion?
- I think I'm going to just straight up
ask her what happened.
- Oh, cool, what does Gangie say?
- Your eyes didn't do that thing.
Mrs. Molesly, ma'am, can you
tell me what really happened?
- You see, she looks
closely and says, oh dear.
Mr. Green, yes, well, Doctor
Magpie explained to me,
you know, that I just learned
about this condition tonight, Mr. Green.
- All right.
- The lightning Dr. Magpie
was explaining to me
as he was explaining the condition,
it's not just all bright lights, obviously
I can go out and sunlight
and I will be all right
and lightning is a natural
source of light for me.
So lightning doesn't do the trick.
The only thing that triggers it
is a bright flash of artificial light.
- Can I do it detect thoughts?
- Yeah, do detect thoughts, for sure.
- And I'm going to cast
that on Ms. Molesly.
- No one is in communication
with other players
through text right now.
- [All] No.
- Good, making sure, very good.
Cool, you cast detect thoughts.
You Vicar, you are certain
beyond a shadow of a doubt
that Mrs. Molesly is telling
the truth, which means
that every time she has
reacted in this way tonight,
it has been because of an
artificial blast of light.
- Because the camera set it off to it.
- The camera set it off, the
flash of the camera settings.
- Well, okay, so I think that
the big question mark then
is what set Ms. Molesly off
at the time of the m*rder
because there was a big flash of lightning
at that moment.
(Ally gasps)
But there was no artificial light.
- Um, there happens to be a rabbit
with a camera that has been
among us this entire time.
- Are you?
- Is it that easy?
- Sergeant Vandenchomp, you
are rushing up the hill.
There was one clue that was
delivered many episodes ago
which was never followed up on.
You will recall the fine ground
glass underneath the door.
(all groan)
- Photography glass, the
glass from a shattered.
- Camera.
- Old timey camera.
- Yeah.
- Gangie and Vicar Ian,
you look at each other
and have that realization at that moment.
The fine ground glass under the door.
Mrs. Molesly's symptoms are
not set off by lightning.
They're set off only by a bright
flash of artificial light.
- Yes.
- The camera, Vandenchomp,
you are rushing.
Buckster, you're holding
court in the hall.
You know, it's not Armond,
you're trying to think.
I am going to need all
of you to remain quiet
as I bring Rekha and Grant back in.
- Cool, no one say nothing about nothing.
- Yes.
Yeah, I guess, whatever.
- Grr.
- Incredible, ahaha.
- I swear to god, whatever,
I'm not going to say anything
but I swear to god, I figured
it out a long time ago.
(Brennan laughs)
- Incredible and now
everyone's looking at me
like I'm the biggest piece
of sh*t in the world.
The look on Sam's face, I could eat it up.
We cut back to beat to the
top of the tower, Loam Hall
where we see a exhausted Sylvester Cross,
an extremely proficient
filing her thieves' tools
back away in her little silver case,
Daisy D'umpstaire, a
terrified, injured looking
Lawrence Longfoot, and
the emaciated and deeply
grateful Connor McCabbage,
you have rescued Connor.
What are you all doing up
in the top of the tower?
- Daisy, I have to say two things.
First, after this there's
nothing left to do
but return to the drawing room
and announce that I've solved the mystery.
But first, this could have been our life.
We could have had this
excitement all the time.
Why did you run?
- Daisy takes a moment.
She knows this is the one question
that's always been the
hardest for her to answer.
Sylvester, I know this
could have been on life
because this was our life,
running around solving mysteries,
getting tangled up in
each other's business,
stopping the evils of the world
but I was always your right hand,
but I have no body of my own.
Buckster's right hand, your right hand.
It's always the great Sylvester
Cross solves the mystery.
And my heart just
couldn't take it anymore.
When you're around someone
who's so great at what they do,
you hope it inspires you
and it makes you better
at what you do but I think
we're almost two magnets
facing each other,
pushing each other away.
And that's why I ran and I
didn't have the heart to tell you
because I didn't want
you to come after me.
- When I was younger man,
I don't think I could
see beyond my own ego.
I don't think I ever considered
what it must've been like for you.
Now let's go downstairs,
you can see some sh*t.
- Can I get an investigation
check from both of you
in this moment.
- Sylvester in light of
what I have just told you,
do you mind turning around
and closing your eyes?
- Sure.
- I take a quick glance
at his butt and then.
(all laugh)
I do this roll, 21.
- Oo baby, incredible,
Sylvester, give me one as well.
- 18.
- 18, incredible so Sylvester,
you're not investigating
the room 'cause I think you
walked away to turn your thing.
You sorta like looking out for the window
at the countryside, the
expanse, lightning crashing.
You see that both Connor
and Lawrence are both like,
should we like, ma'am, do you
need us to, should we look
at Sylvester's butt as well,
or should we, what should we do?
- I wasn't, were you looking,
I wasn't looking there,
were you looking there?
You shouldn't be looking
there if you don't.
I wasn't looking there.
- Everyone can have a look at the leg.
- Sylvester, you see that you are joined
at the window with the other
two people in the room.
With an 18, oh, actually
both of you kind of tell me
like what you're kind of
looking at in the room
right now, if anything.
- I'm still looking at the
mirror that's bolted in place.
- Cool, with an 18, you look at the mirror
and I'll tell you what you
see on an 18 in a second.
Daisy, what are you looking at?
- I think I'm looking out this window.
- Daisy, on a 21, you look out the window,
see the other three people
all sort of pushed up
against the window, Lawrence
Longfoot's camera is broken.
(Grant gasps)
- Oh my god, what does that mean?
- Don't worry, Daisy, way ahead of it.
Don't even, no need for
you to even know a thing.
- So, Sylvester, you look,
see, looking at Daisy,
Daisy you look at the broken camera.
Sylvester, you follow Daisy's eye
to the broken camera as well.
(Rekha gasps)
- That would be the nail
in the coffin at long last
of Fletcher Cottonbottom.
- Fletcher Cottonbottom is
the name you say out loud.
Lawrence Longfoot looks
confused, turns to look, shrugs
and as his paw exits the window,
a little bit of rain melts the makeup
on Lawrence Longfoot's hand.
The camera around him
broken as it was struck
with a shovel earlier this night.
Fletcher Cottonbottom
looks at you, Sylvester
and says my dear, Mr. Cross,
at long last we meet again,
and he is going to shove
you out the window.
I am going to need an
opposed athletics roll
and I'm going to tell
you the number that you
have to beat Sylvester before you roll it.
- Oh what, wait, wait.
- Am I?
- Can Daisy help him?
- Yeah, can I help him?
- Yes, I will allow Daisy
to give Sylvester advantage
on this roll, the number
Sylvester that you have to beat.
- Uh oh.
- You have to be at an 18, which
means you get to two rolls.
- Oh my god.
- And I also a zero athletics.
- Is there anything else I
can do besides a help action?
- Nope, not at this moment.
- Probably not.
- Sylvester, one of these
two rolls needs to be an 18.
- I can't look, I can't look.
- Roll number one is a two.
- Oh my god.
- Ah.
- I'm gonna throw up.
- Can I casually say, as Fletcher
Cottonbottom encloses in,
I said you really want to
hit an old rickety man?
- I'm not that old, it's
just, I've got this hip thing.
Look, and it's his fault, oh
and you knew about him too.
Oh, and don't think we
won't come back to that
if I live through this, all
right, give me a second.
An 11.
- Oh.
- The top of the tower of
Loam Hall, Connor McCabbage,
the one m*rder Sylvester
Cross couldn't solve,
he and Daisy two magnets
pushing each other apart,
attracted back together
and Lawrence Longfoot,
whose injuries so obviously
administered by the constables
or maybe administered earlier that night
by Lars Vandenchomp across the head.
Fletcher Cottonbottom, a rabbit disguised
as a hare, moving throughout Mrs. Molesly
who's epilepsy was triggered, we saw,
by the flashlight of the camera,
perhaps triggering the
lightning rod up at the top
of Loam Hall to ensure that
lightning would strike soon.
So that under the guise
of a lightning strike,
Lawrence Longfoot, AKA
Fletcher Cottonbottom
could take the picture to
trigger Mrs. Molesly's fit.
- I knew we should've been like,
hey, can we develop that film?
As a source of clues and
we would have seen a photo
of Mrs. Molesly, ah.
- And the final clue of course
of the fine ground glass under the door.
- f*ck, I should've said that,
I was like, well that happens
when you flash a camera,
but who the f*ck, okay.
- Fine ground glass,
the flash that triggered
Mrs. Molesly's fit in the study
was that of the camera itself.
The crunch of the masked
figure on top of Loam Hall
was the crunch of a camera
breaking under the point
of Gangie Green's shovel.
Sylvester, you see your arch-nemesis say,
you've spoiled quite
the evening Sylvester,
but I think I know how to
rescue this little party.
Shove, you go sailing out of the window.
- I will remind you Sylvester that there
is something here, not
only the knotted rope
but earlier this evening,
you used a very special gift
from one Miss Daisy D'umpstaire.
It was a partial success
that only allowed you
to get out of one of your two manacles,
the handcuffs still on your wrist.
Go ahead, if you would be so
kind and make an attack roll
with your unarmed strike with advantage.
- Manacled again, this man.
- An eight.
And a seven.
(all groan)
- You go to manacle Fletcher
Cottonbottom, who again goes,
ahahaha, I've done it and
you see that your manacle
goes up towards his wrist, and he goes,
oh no, no, no, no and get
his wrist out of the way.
(all laugh)
And instead you, whoop, go ahead
and give me a dexterity saving
throw, if you'd be so kind.
- A seven.
- What is going on, man?
- Daisy did you look,
were you looking at me?
Were you looking at me?
- I wasn't looking at you,
I'm never looking at you.
- Here's what we're gonna
do, we're, no dexterity save
and you didn't get Fletcher,
so we're gonna just roll initiative
and I think what you want
is a bad roll here Sylvester
because we're going to go into combat
with just Daisy, Sylvester
and these two figures.
- And are, can Simon and
f*cking sheep do anything?
Or are they also bad guys?
- You didn't wake them up,
they're back downstairs.
Oh, sorry, they're in
this room, okay, cool.
- What did Daisy roll for initiative?
- 13.
- What did Sylvester roll for initiative?
- Seven.
- That's less than Daisy
which is maybe going to save your life.
- Thank god.
- Okay, Daisy, you are first to act.
You see Sylvester falling
out of the window.
On his turn, he will fall
in almost every case,
to his death.
- Cool.
Let me present a few items
that I have on my person
and then we'll talk attacks.
I still have one ledger
underneath my folds.
I don't know if that's
something I can throw,
smack his head between, whatever.
I have a medal of honor on my person
and we are next to an electromagnetic
mirror type situation.
I am too stupid to understand
how those two connect
but if I can do something
that like forces metal
through him, I have a dagger,
a rapier, how do you say that?
And on my weapons, it says I
have crossbow hand, long sword,
short sword simple weapons
and it also says I have, that's it.
- You can also maybe use your,
instead of attacking Cottonbottom,
maybe you can just grab.
- Grab Sylvester?
- I don't know, yeah,
I'm spit balling here.
- I have, let's see, what is my,
everything involving strength,
like athletics is like plus one.
I have very good sleight of hand,
I have very good deception, I
have very good investigation.
- I wonder if there's a world,
not that this saves our hero
but if you have good sleight
of hand, if Grant failed
to do that, you could do it.
- Mm, I handcuff him to me or
handcuff him to Cottonbottom?
- Handcuff him to Cottonbottom.
- Is that possible?
- For you to go like, trigger a re roll
on Sylvester doing that?
- Or to roll sleight of hand
so that she does it herself.
- Yeah that was what I was saying.
- I mean, he's like mid fall.
So that would involve me
grabbing a person falling
and shackling them to someone else, right?
- Oh yeah.
- If I can do it, I'll do it.
- I think Rekha, we are
off the edge of the map.
You're not going to look at
your character sheet right now
and find a button that
says save Sylvester Cross.
So no, no, don't
misunderstand what I'm saying.
You can very much save Sylvester Cross
but there's just not going
to be a character ability
that's going to be like save
Sylvester Cross right now.
Like what I'm saying is you're like,
don't look at your inventory and be like,
what can I do with rope?
I'm saying like right
now we're in the story.
You tell me what Daisy would try to do.
If she would try to manacle
Sylvester to Fletcher
then hell yeah, go for it but
I'm saying, like I'm saying
don't feel constricted
by the rules of the game.
We will make whatever story thing
you want to have happen now.
You tell me what you
want to do in the story
and I'll tell you the
rules we used to get there.
- Okay, I want to f*cking beat
the sh*t out of Cottonbottom.
I want to be the one that defeats him.
- Oo.
- Cool, I dig that.
So that is an admirable goal.
Do you want to use this turn to do that?
- I should save Sylvester first.
So to do that, yeah, I want
to save Sylvester first
because he's going to
die on his next turn.
- Yeah, for sure, absolutely.
- Maybe not.
- No, you're going to die.
- Maybe I've got some things.
- With your rolls, you're already dead.
- No, no, no, no, something
good's going to happen.
- So what are my options to
help a man who has fallen out
of a window, right?
Do I f*cking take a sh*t out the window
so he can land softly, do I f*cking?
- You can take Sam's suggestion.
I don't want to gainsay Sam's suggestion
but I just want you to tell
me what Daisy's going to do.
- I don't think I can stop
this man from falling.
I think I can cushion his
fall in a defenestration
of Prague, I'm going to take
a sh*t out of the window
for him to land in softly.
I'm going to take a Daisy D'umpstaire.
(Grant laughs)
Go ahead and please make a
constitution check for it.
- So I just click constitution plus one.
Is that what I'm clicking?
- Oh, it's only plus one.
- Oh god.
- Then should I not?
- Look handcuffing him to Cottonbottom
would have been too crazy.
Let's have you throw a sh*t
down to beat him to the bottom.
(all laugh)
- 13.
- Okay.
- Sam, Sam.
- Okay, cool, good, so.
- He's going to die and you
sh*t is going to hit him.
- No, you asked me to do this.
- For sure, no, no, I
understand, I understand
that I asked and this
is the important thing
and hey Rekha, thanks for your help.
(all laugh)
You've always got my back
and I really thank you.
Daisy rushes to the
window, hikes up her dress
and blast a*s over this.
- I can see your whole butt.
I put a lot of work into
these, you know what I mean?
I put a lot of work into these, I'm glad,
I'm really f*cking glad,
you know what I mean?
It's a lot of work, a lot of
m*rder mystery work over here.
I would imagine this is the
cl*max of the story, right?
This is the dramatic
moment, you blast a hot sh*t
out the window.
(all laugh)
Blast a hot sh*t to
cushion Sylvester's fall.
You know and that's great and
it's good, and this is good.
So here's what's going to happen.
Fletcher Cottonbottom
silhouetted by lightning.
Hahahaha, well Sylvester,
what the f*ck are you doing?
Ew, why, did you have to go before?
How have you had to go or
can you do this on command?
Sylvester, Fletcher, it's
Fletcher's turn next.
He loses his turn in shock and dismay
at this horrible thing
that's happened, oh no.
Sylvester, I will say as
you fall and the poop falls
out of Daisy's butt,
whoo, you may re roll one of these rolls
that has happened, just from
the pure chaos of this moment.
So you can go for it, yes.
- So here are my thoughts,
I have plus three acrobatics.
- Yes.
- And there's a knotted rope
hanging next to me as I fall.
- Yes.
(Rekha laughs)
- Am I, is it, and this is
me talking, well, I can roll
an investigation check as a
bonus action all the time right?
- Yeah, absolutely.
- I'm going to, the keenest
detective in the world,
I'm going to investigate my
options to see if there's not
maybe some sort of a, okay,
well I've rolled an 18.
- Cool.
- That's good.
- Is there a, man, I don't
know quite how that helped me.
'Cause I was going to
say maybe I'll quickly
look around to see if there's not a notch
in the wall that I can jam a hand into.
- On an 18, you do see the knotted rope,
that's not a hard thing to investigate.
- Yeah, I think I'm going
to roll an acrobatics skill
to see if I can manage, to
get a hand onto the rope.
- Copy that.
- Daisy rushes to the window
to sh*t hard into the storm.
- Sorry, did I waste a turn?
- I'm glad, no, no,
no, I'm glad, I'm glad.
This was the season of
all College Humor cast
and this is how it should end.
(all laugh)
I'm glad, Grant, you can,
this will allow you to
roll an acrobatics check.
I'm going to tell you right now,
it's a DC 10 to grab on to the rope,
It's a DC 15 to grab onto
the rope and swing somewhere,
and it is a DC 20 to grab onto
the rope and swing somewhere
and you tell me where it goes.
Go ahead and give me your acrobatics roll.
- A 2.
- Oh my god.
- Appropriate, considering the
circumstances, a number two.
- Cool, I am going to roll falling damage
for Sylvester Cross now
who's going to fall.
This is the story.
- If it's 22, you die permanently, right?
Or wait, it has to be double his total.
- You have 11, 11 plus 15 is.
- 26.
- 26.
- 26.
- 26, that's correct, yes, yes, yes.
How many stories up are you?
I said three, four, five.
- God.
- Five?
- Wait, five in the tower?
- Oh so four, right?
- Four.
- Four, yes, yes, yes.
- Main floor, the, three.
- Yeah, I thought it was three.
- Oh yeah, it is three, cool, cool, cool.
- Yeah.
- So you're falling 30
feet through the air.
I'm going to roll.
- And there's a cushion above me.
- It's gonna travel faster.
- You're gonna die and sh*t on.
- That's what's gonna happen.
- Honestly, that's what's gonna happen.
- I'm going to take out the Box of Doom.
We're going to roll this damage now.
Sylvester Cross you take
nine points of damage.
- [Rekha] So you have two left?
- Wait a minute, you take
nine points of damage.
Are you still up?
- Yes.
- I have, 'cause, so I lost,
I was at 15, I lost four.
So now I'm down to two points of damage.
- Oh my f*cking god.
- Oh my god.
- Sylvester falls, what
an insane, okay so,
the lightning crashes, insane dramatics,
Fletcher goes ha ha and
your ex-girlfriend shits
in your face and then
you fall and are fine.
And Fletcher goes, what?
You are covered in sh*t.
I forgot that falling damage
in D&D is kind of a crazy thing.
I can't believe you're not dead.
I can't believe you're not dead.
- Whew.
- No matter for the
world's greatest detective
Sylvester Cross.
- Daisy, that's your turn again.
- So now that Sylvester's alive.
- [Brennan] Yes.
- Okay, so I want to beat
the sh*t out of Cottonbottom
but am I allowed to give a help action
to Sylvester's next turn as well?
- No, you're not able to do that.
- Okay cool, so I wanna
beat up Cottonbottom.
- Hell yes, go ahead
and make an attack roll.
- Okay, wow and I do
unarmed strike or do I do it
with one of my weapons or
I can do whatever I want?
- You can do it with one of your weapons.
- Okay, I would love to
do it with my dagger.
- Go for it.
- 24.
- 24 is a hit, go ahead and roll damage.
- Okay, and sorry, do I
just, I just hit the damaged
part right now?
- Yes you do, yes absolutely.
- Seven.
- You deal seven points of damage.
He's already badly injured
from the fight before.
You slash out with the dagger, ah,
he cries out and he goes,
what is wrong with you?
You horrible freaks, you
just sh*t out the window,
you out the window, you just
took sh*t out of the window.
You just hiked up your dress
and blasted your nasty raccoon pellets all
out of the window into the storm, oo.
- Mr. Cottonbottom, I assure
you there's nothing nasty
about me, even my sh*t is
gold and then I f*cking slash.
- You slash him, you do that on your turn.
I'm going to need perception checks
from Sylvester and from Daisy.
- [Rekha] Nine.
- 21.
- Fletcher vanishes in a
stroke of lightning from you
Daisy, and Sylvester from the
ground, you are badly injured.
You see that he leaped from the balcony
and begins to crawl across the wall
on the outside of the tower,
headed towards the exterior.
We're going to cut back
to everybody else down
in the hall real quick.
Buckster, you are holding
court, Gangie and Vicar.
Where do you two run off to?
- I assumed we would go to try
to find Sylvester and Daisy.
- You right.
- Cool, do you want to go
join them in the tower?
- Yes I do, what about you Raphael?
- Yeah, same.
- Incredible.
- Wait, they're in the tower or outside.
- Well, you guys would know Daisy
was trying to get to the tower.
- Oh, okay, okay, right, right, right.
- So you guys are gonna rush
to the tower to join Daisy
basically, incredible, for Lars.
Lars and Constance bust
through the front doors.
Buckster you turn around
to see Lars and Constance
and Lucretia, these
dead people rush through
and burst into the drawing
room and everyone screams
ghosts, and they see a bunch of people
that were m*rder*d earlier in the evening.
Buckster, what do you do?
- Ah, but my friends, but my friends,
just as Detective Cross is not
guilty, he is also correct.
There is no such thing as ghosts.
This is an alive Miss
Lucretia and my associate Lars
will fill us in on the details
and I make eyes at Lars.
(Brennan laughs)
I've been doing this for a while now.
- Buckster's like sweating.
- You came just in time.
- Okay, now what I'm going to
need, Vicar Ian and Gangie,
Daisy, you turn behind,
you see the door fly open
as Gangie and the Vicar
rush up behind you.
Buckster you are down with
Lars, Constance and the rest
in the drawing room,
Sylvester you have fallen,
you have two f*cking hit points left.
I'm going to ask everybody,
this is our final combat
of Mice and m*rder.
Fletcher is trying to
vanish into the night
and you have two constables left
with you down in the drawing room.
Everybody roll initiative.
- Nat one.
- [Brennan] Oof.
- 22.
- That makes a four.
- 22 for Gangie, incredible, Daisy,
what's your modified
though, add your dexterity?
- Four.
- Four, Buckster what did you get?
- I got a zero.
- Incredible Sylvester, what did you get?
- What?
- 12.
- Father Prescott, what'd you get?
- 18.
- 18 and Lars, what did you get?
- 17.
- Incredible, the thrilling
finale, the conclusion,
Gangie, you are first act,
you jump up and see Daisy up
in the tower and you see
Connor McCabbage here as well.
- I think Daisy, just
by seeing what happened,
I get caught up, I know what has happened.
We all convey it, we're
all on the same page
and then I do have a lot of
stealth, I'm wondering if I
can use that rope to grab
Fletcher and like swing him back
into the tower so we can kick his a*s.
- Like a lasso or something?
- Yeah.
- Hell yes.
- So I want to use the
rope, grab onto him, I want
to throw him back into the
tower so we can m*rder him.
- Amazing, Gangie, go ahead first of all,
and as you run to the balcony to look
out into the storm, give
me a perception check.
- 28.
- Nice.
- Oo, you spot him right
away, he's part way up.
He's crawling up the
like steep shingled top
of the tower to sort of get away.
Go ahead and make your attack roll.
Let me know what your
roll with your attack.
- With the shovel.
- Yes, I'm gonna say it's still
the same attack bonus with your rope.
- 10.
- You cast your lasso
up and you see that he
like swivels and dodges out
of the way of your lasso.
You can, if you want, so
you miss with the rope.
You can, if you want move out after him.
- I do want to, I want to
do the, not the disengage,
or the dash.
- The dash, you bonus action dash
and you begin to crawl
after him on the roof.
- Hell yeah.
Go ahead and give me an
acrobatics roll real quick.
We'll call it just a DC 10.
- 12.
- Hell yeah, it's slick
with rain and you have no
support system so you rush
up and you manage to hang
onto the roof and you close
distance with Fletcher.
That is going to go from
your turn to Father Prescott.
What are you going to do?
- Okay, I want to do two
things, I want to bless,
who's after me?
Can I bless the group that's after me?
- You can absolutely bless
the group, yes, absolutely.
- Okay and then I want to, so he's,
so I'm not in the same room with dude.
I'm not in the same room with him.
- Well, he's outside.
- Yeah, he's outside.
- So you're not in the same
room as Lars or Buckster
but from the balcony you can see Daisy,
Gangie and Sylvester 30 feet below.
- I'm going to bless everybody
and then can I do an attack?
- No, that's your action
to bless everybody.
- Okay, all right, okay.
- But you can bonus action
give a bardic inspiration to somebody.
- Okay, then I'll do the bless
and then the bardic
inspiration, I'll give to Daisy.
- Cool, awesome, what does
Vicar shout out into the storm
as he takes to the balcony.
- This whole time, God, I've
been wondering whether or not
you were real or not.
At first I saw a ghost and
then I thought that you real
then I discovered that that ghost was fake
and it's been back and forth ever since,
you were going to send me off to Siberia,
but now it looks like I have a chance
for that not to happen anymore.
But now I know for sure that I do not care
because I don't need to know
whether or not God is real
to know the right thing to do.
My moral compass is inside me.
- Aw.
- Incredible.
- And inside all of you so go forth.
- Aw, that's crazy.
- With the Vicar's
blessing you all go forth.
Lars downstairs in the drawing
room, two crooked constables
and Buckster holding court,
you rush in through the door.
What does Lars do?
- Okay, I tell, I tell
Buckster and then I tell who's
the really strong one that
I'm coming in with Constance?
- Constance.
- I say, buck, I catch
Buckster up on everything.
I tell Constance.
- That may not be able to
happen in the thick of combat.
What would Lars just shout
as you rush into the room?
- I would say, hold everybody.
We need to gather all of
Squire Badger's associates
and I'm specifically pointing
out like Hawkins, Harding,
Gilfoyle, just like pin them down
and then I want to take
a full dash action up
to the court, to Squire
Badger's bedroom where
I remember Daisy told me
all of the switches are.
- Cool, I will point out
there are two constables
down here in the drawing room.
Like two, yeah, two like
full kind of bad guys.
- Can Constance beat the
sh*t out of one of them?
While you go up to the.
- Yeah, that's my plan is
I'm just trying to like,
switch all of things until I find you guys
on the other side so
that we can communicate
and I can figure out where everybody is.
- Yeah.
- Well, and she's like eight feet tall.
- Yeah.
- She should be able to.
- Cool, Lars, you rush
upstairs, Sylvester, that's you.
- So I'm laying on the ground.
I think I've probably
re-broken my bad hip,
so I can't get around all that well
but I would like to as a bonus action do
an investigation check
because I want to see,
Fletcher Cottonbottom
is up there on the roof.
He's in a lightning storm
and there's all sorts
of electrical activity going
on all around the area.
I want to see if there's not some conduit
of electricity with the
mushrooms leading up
to the ground wire that I can
interrupt to make it dangerous
with electricity up there.
- Give me a bonus action
investigation check.
- 17 plus nine, 26.
- Hey.
- 26?
- 26.
- Sylvester you're down on the ground.
You have cunning action,
you have an extra dash action as a rogue.
I'm going to send you
something in a text message.
This might be the last
text message I send.
- Oh man.
(Raph laughs)
You could make it there
and do it this round.
- Okay, great then I'm
going to use my dash action
to go inside the house.
- Incredible so everyone
sees Sylvester get up,
hip fully broken, you've been
pushing your body too hard.
Sylvester rushes inside of
the house and Sylvester,
I know what you're doing,
but for dramatic reasons,
I'm going to wait for a moment
before I narrate what happens.
Daisy, sorry, now it is
actually Fletcher Cottonbottom.
Fletcher Cottonbottom sees you
coming up after him, Gangie.
Just sort of laughs
maniacally and goes, ahahaha,
amongst your number all
evening, back from the dead.
But oh, Squire Badger got cold feet
and tried to ruin everything,
I will have my day.
I will have my day, and
sprints further up the tower,
looking kind of hemmed in,
like he wants to get away
but he'd have to get away
from Gangie for a moment.
Crawls further up, takes out a g*n,
goes to finish Sylvester off.
He sees Sylvester has very
wisely with 2 points left,
ducked into the house and
instead goes for Gangie.
He's going to roll an attack roll.
Gangie, how many hit
points do you have left?
- 15.
- You are hit with the g*nsh*t.
- Yes.
- Gangie, doing your first
noble deed, this horrible
mastermind villain that
you worked for forever,
looks at you and says, Gangie,
a terribly unfortunate
time for a change of heart.
I knew you couldn't be trusted.
That's why I had to recommend
your services in secret.
Prsh, fires, Gangie, you
are hit in the chest,
drop to zero hit points.
I'm going to need you to roll
a dexterity savings row for me.
- I got a natural 20 plus five.
(all cheer)
- Oh my god.
- Gangie, you are shot in
the chest, drop to zero
and slide off the roof
and vanish into the storm,
into the darkness and we'll
come back to you later.
On a Nat 20 we'll come back to you later.
Daisy, Sylvester is gone,
you watch Gangie fall
into the storm after a g*nsh*t goes off,
Fletcher cackles from the
roof, it is your turn.
- I'm climbing on that
f*cking roof, I got to.
- You climb onto the roof.
I'm going to say in this
moment, go ahead, yeah,
give me acrobatics and in this case,
give it to me with advantage.
- Because your bowels are empty.
- Exactly, first one's an
eight, that's not great
and then 20, dirty 20.
- Daisy, you alight to the roof
following Fletcher up above.
And I guess go ahead and
give me as a bonus action,
an investigation check.
- Daisy you're alone.
- Oh, you're very much not alone.
- Shut up Fletcher, Fletcher,
shut up, can you turn around,
just do me a second, just
turn around for one second.
- I shan't, I'm a nasty
villain and I tricked you all.
- I cover my eyes since
he refuses to turn around.
(Brennan laughs)
- A 12.
- 12, as you get to 12
investigation, you don't see
any possibility or hope
up here on the roof.
You don't see any chance
for you to seize your moment
of glory and to be the one to
k*ll Fletcher Cottonbottom.
- Okay.
- And that's when we cut to the bathroom,
the bathroom where you
sh*t earlier tonight,
just like you sh*t on
the balcony moments ago.
And in this moment,
someone is going to give
you an opportunity to take
the glory for yourself
because a badly injured Sylvester Cross
runs into the bathroom and
Grant what does Sylvester do?
- Sylvester, reaching into the hat
that he was given by Daisy earlier,
pulls out a tiny little thieve tool,
a little file, a pointed file
and he, with his last ounce of strength,
jams it into the electrical system
to interrupt the grounding on
the electricity in the house.
- Incredible, Sylvester,
you jam it in there
and take three points of damage.
(Rekha gasps)
As the lightning jolts through
you, and you fall back.
Daisy, Fletcher laughs,
ahahaha, a little bit late
Miss D'umpstaire, to
wake me up, Mr. Longfoot,
I think you'll find that
I've been here all along,
moving amongst you.
Soon they will find many more
dead bodies than we planned
but we must have things
go according to plan
now I mustn't we and you
see opening behind him,
the thing that opened earlier tonight
when the lightning struck,
the lightning rod connected
to the mushroom cellar below extends
up into the storm cloud.
Daisy, you see your
opportunity, it is your turn.
As the lightning rod extends
up, you have your action left.
What would you like to do?
- I want to f*cking push
him into that lightning rod
so he explodes.
- Incredible, I am going
to roll in the Box of Doom.
This as an opposed athletics check.
- No.
- Daisy go ahead and roll
your opposed athletics check.
Go ahead and do it with advantage.
- My athletics is a plus one.
- Oh God.
Fletcher don't look, first one's a three.
- Oh God.
- 10.
- Oh.
- Daisy I, 10 is not great.
- No.
- And the other thing
that's not great is rolling
a natural to on camera in the Box of Doom.
- I would like to describe
how I pushed him into the lightning.
- Please do, please do
- Fletcher, you were always a wily one,
the one that got away from
the famous Detective Cross
but I've always known
you are full of sh*t,
and I a*s blast him
into the lightning bolt.
- A storm of pellets shoots
out of your raccoon behind,
Fletcher screams in real
disgust, which is the wrong thing
to do because now his mouth's open
and he flies backwards
at the perfect moment
as the lightning strikes
and everyone all across
Tufting Meadows can see
the bright ghostly skeleton
of Fletcher Cottonbottom light
up as the lightning strikes,
touches the pole and dies.
Daisy D'umpstaire, you have
k*ll Fletcher Cottonbottom.
- Yeah.
- Ah.
- It's the wrong way around.
- Oh f*ck.
(all laugh)
- My god, Lars in Squire Badger's,
we are out of combat folks.
Buckster you turn around, see these
two constables go to run
after Lars Vandenchomp.
What does Buster do down in
the room as this happens?
- Do I have any sense
of what's going outside?
(Rekha laughs)
Or have I just been in
pure distraction mode
and I'm completely out of the loop?
- I don't, I think that maybe,
give me an insight check real quick.
- Sure, 13.
- I think Buckster's a little bit confused
but something's going,
what do you think your gut
would tell him to do?
- I think that Buckster, knowing that,
having faith in his
compatriots at this moment,
but knowing that his duty is to get folks
in this room enough in
the loop by the time
that in his mind, the
detective is going to show up
and share the rest of this
mystery with everyone.
He's in exposing evidence mode.
So he takes it upon himself to divulge
to the audience fully what
the financial situation
is of the Brockhollows
and takes it upon himself
to expose his own knife
in the hands of the mice.
- Incredible, you point
at the mice and have them
expose the knife, another
huge audible gasp,
the two constables run out of the room
and as we come out of combat,
you see the two constables
run out into the hall.
Constance Brockhollow
in the doorway grabs one
of the constables by the
belt and shirt, picks him up,
breaks his spine over her knee,
slams his head into the wall
and says, f*ck out of my house.
You get the f*ck out, bam,
the other one that she reaches
into his mouth pulls his tongue out,
slams his head into her knee, takes him,
shoves her other hand up his
a*s, flings him for the window,
jumps out the window, kick
him so hard in the ribs
that all his ribs break,
throws him back into the house.
Jumps in like WWE elbow,
bam, scatter skull and brain
everywhere, full red eyes, rah,
and begins to eat a section
of each of those two dead constables.
There's just a mess on
the ground and you see.
- I just turn back to the
audience and say, good people
of the Manor, here is your
evidence that the police are bad.
(all laugh)
- You see Harding is trying
to slip out of the back
of the door as this is going on.
- Everyone stop that turtle,
it shouldn't be hard,
he's pretty slow.
- You see the Lady Eugenia
Bristlebrush takes a g*n out
of her purse and shoots
Ambrose Hardy dead.
- Wait.
- Bristlebrush, we didn't
even expose the evidence yet.
- There's been a m*rder.
(all laugh)
- I swear to God, my eyes
been on you the entire time.
If it turns out that you're
the one who did all of this,
I would not be terribly surprised.
- She looks and says, what's going on?
I wasn't listening, I just
wanted to k*ll that turtle.
I hate him.
- I take the opportunity to
fish what I am almost sure
is that contract out of the turtles.
- Oh it's Hawkins that has that.
- Oh, I'm sorry, that's right.
- No worries, cool, Lars, you
rush up to Squire Badger's
bedroom, you're going to the switches.
You see Sylvester Cross dying
on the floor of the bathroom.
- [Katie] Aw.
- I run to the bathroom, on all fours.
- Grant, I'm going to need
some deaths savings throws.
- Yes.
- These will determine
whether your characters lives or dies.
- Oh lord.
- So you're just gonna roll a d20.
A 10 or higher is a success,
a nine or lower is a failure.
A one counts as two failures,
on a Nat 20 come back to
life as one hit point.
If you accumulate three
failures, you're fully dead.
If you accumulate three successes,
you are stable, but unconscious.
- Okay.
- Give me your first roll.
- 12.
- That is a success.
- Lars, you rush down the stairs
and see Sylvester Cross
collapsed in the bathroom.
What do you do when you come to his side?
- Can I make like a medicine check?
- Yes you can, it's a DC 15
medicine check to attempt
to stabilize Sylvester.
- Four.
- Four does not succeed, Sylvester,
give me another death save.
- Seven.
- One success, one failure, Lars.
- Can I make another medicine?
- You can make another
medicine check, yes, you can.
- Nat one.
- Don't worry, that does not
give two failures to Sylvester.
It just means that you do not
succeed in a medicine check
in this turn, Sylvester, yes.
- Be a dear and light my pipe.
- Oh god.
- You see Sylvester,
yes, you light his pipe.
Sylvester, make another death save.
(Grant coughs)
- This has been an
affectation the whole time,
I've never enjoyed it.
- You shouldn't be smoking.
(Raph laughs)
- Two.
(Rekha gasps)
- That's another failure, Lars.
- Oh my god, no.
- Lars, give me another medicine check.
- Okay, oh, I have a question.
I have that ability
called rally where I can
use a superiority die
to give someone temp HP.
Would that bring him back to life?
Or is temp HP separate
if someone's at zero?
- I think, well, that's
such a bizarre thing.
Go ahead, go ahead and give me,
well, I think what is
Lars saying to Sylvester
as he's dying on the
floor of the bathroom?
- Oh, I'm saying, no, this
is not how it ends for sure.
I'm not a religious person,
but yeah, you do not die
on the floor of the bathroom.
That's something that
happens at the Berghain.
- Lars, Lars, Lars, I spent
most of my life alone.
I've been abandoned,
frankly most of the time
I've preferred the solitude.
You're my dearest friend,
thank you for everything.
- Lars, give me the medicine
check and then give me
a medicine check, if
it's a 15, let me know.
If it is not, we have
I believe one success,
one failure from Sylvester, right?
- We have one success, two failures.
- Two failures.
We're going to come
back to that rally thing
in a moment, Lars, we've
got a couple rounds
of Lars and Sylvester making those checks.
Gangie, fallen off into the storm.
We don't know what
happened, but you rolled
that Nat 20 dexterity saving throw.
Daisy, after your victory
over Fletcher Cottonbottom,
where does Daisy go to next?
What is the next thing that she does?
- I mean, I think, Daisy knows,
Daisy knows what it's like
to accomplish something by herself
and this wasn't it.
She knows that Sylvester
was in that bathroom
and she goes to the bathroom.
What does Vicar Ian do?
Oh, you're the only one left in the tower
with Connor McCabbage by the way.
- Oh sh*t.
Well, Connor probably
wants to see the rest
of everybody else, right?
Like he wants to get together with.
- Catherine.
- Yes, so maybe.
- Catherine is still there.
- So Vicar, you take Connor McCabbage
and also grab Simon
Shellcrest and Lord McRae
and head back down the tower
together with everybody else.
Lars, you've rushed into the bathroom.
Buckster you have
everybody's attention here,
but here Lars thundering
down the stairs towards the bathroom.
- Sylvie, Sylvie.
- I think if I'm hearing
Lars call out, I turn
to the audience that's
assembled in the drawing room
and I say hold that
thought and I race out.
- Okay, so Buckster you rush out.
You are a mastermind rogue.
You have a bonus action help
that you can do to grant
somebody advantage.
You can either grant Lars advantage
on their medicine check in this last round
or you can grant Sylvester advantage.
- What's here medicine Lars?
- Two plus two, so not that good.
- So the odds are kind
of the same either way.
'Cause Sylvester needs to roll above a 10.
- Twice, I need roll above a 10.
- Twice, okay.
- But you would have another round
to give another help
action on that next roll.
- Mm.
- That's true so they are
sort of the same either way.
I'm going to help Sylvester.
- Sylvester, let me know what it is.
- Nat 20.
(all cheer)
- No way, show it, show it.
- Show it, b*tch, show it.
Yes, Grant.
- Incredible.
- Oh my f*cking god, Sylvester.
- Holy sh*t.
- You are certain of your impending death.
You are certain of your impending death.
Buckster, you run into
the room and see Sylvester
on the ground, Lars, over him, weeping.
Buckster what do you say in
this moment to Sylvester Cross?
What do you do, I guess?
- I say, don't die on my
Detective, don't you die on me.
This is not how your story ends
and I think I put my fist to his chest.
- You slam a fist into his chest.
There is a jolt of electricity
that zaps through you.
- 'Cause the lightning struck
and I'm still stuck to the ground.
- You're still stuck to the
ground, prhs, the lightning
strike, Cottonbottom, Sylvester
you, on a nat f*cking 20.
I can't believe it.
(all laugh)
- Wait, can I just say,
I rolled a medicine check
just to see what would have happened
if you had decided to side
with me and I rolled an eight
including plus two. You 100% chose right.
- Buckster's a gambling man
for a reason, he's good.
- And that's what we call
a straight royal flush.
- 'Cause we're in a bathroom.
- Incredible, Gangie Green.
- Yes.
- You open your eyes in a comfy cozy bed.
The walls spattered with
blood of your own making
as Mrs. Molesly, hands
you a little cup of tea.
You see water dripping
in the room through,
at your feet with a little
bucket, sort of collecting it
on a little tray because
when you fell from the tower
on that Nat 20 dex save,
you fell through the roof
right into Mrs. Molesly's bed.
(all laugh)
- Can I address Mrs. Molesly?
- Yes you can.
- I want to say, I think we
should take a vacation now.
- She smiles and says, Mr.
Green, that sounds like
it would be a lovely time,
I'll need you to describe all
of the sites that we're going to go see.
- Oh no.
- 'Cause you're blind?
- Sure yeah, you get it,
yes for sure, absolutely.
(all laugh)
And she says, I'm glad
you're feeling well, dearie.
They've gathered everybody downstairs
and I think it's time that we go
so that we can put all of
this hubbub to rest, dearie.
Let me know if you need a hand, my dear.
- I've got it.
- And Gangie, you walk
downstairs with Mrs. Molesly
to the drawing room, Vicar,
you are seated there.
You see in each other's
arms, weeping are Connor
and Catherine McCabbage.
You see Catherine looks up
and says, Vicar, I tell ya
right now, I do believe in
miracles and she wipes her eyes
and Gangie, you come
in, you're given a place
to sit down to help recuperate.
- Laid up bandaged with Lars to one side
and Buckster to the other,
is a very and nearly dead
Sylvester Cross and
Daisy, you come downstairs
and walk into the room
and you meet the eyes
of Sylvester Cross as you walk in.
- I think I, for the first
time, I have tears in my eyes
because I know what he did for me.
I know he gave me a story.
- You both look at each
other in that moment
and truly see each other.
Constance says, everyone too much
has been staked on reputation.
Jeremy speaks up and says, indeed it has.
Our murders were supposed
to be faked tonight
to destroy the reputation
of Sylvester Cross.
At the last moment, my father,
Squire William Thornwell Brockhollow,
I suppose, here Jeremy starts
crying, changed his mind,
changed his mind, I knew not
that Fletcher Cottonbottom
was involved but I knew
that we were supposed
to disappear tonight to
save our families good name,
but we are destitute, we have nothing
and we will almost
certainly lose Loam Hall.
We were supposed to
disappear for some time.
The plan was for rumors
of the occult to sweep
the countryside, for
Sylvester Cross to rot
in the Tower of London for
his control of the occult
and we would return when our
father's friend who we now
know to be Fletcher
Cottonbottom would bring us back
from the grave, along
and you see he produces
the dead Ambrose Harding book
and turns to the last page,
along with Connor McCabbage.
And here you see the
last name and the book
was Connor McCabbage, which was the name
that Harding was going
to give to Gangie Green
to go and dig up the fake dead body
in the Tufting Meadows graveyard.
This is your moment to
have any last questions
of the mystery here, yes, Buckster.
- I've things I want to do, is that okay?
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, by
all means the stage is yours
for anything you want to do.
- Well now, am I correct in that case
that all this family
needs is why, a financier?
- Jeremy and Constance
look at each other and say,
actually if you're interested,
yes, you see Jeremy says,
yes, we're deeply, deeply, deeply in debt.
- So I think I'm going to approach Gangie
who I imagine is still by Mrs. Molesly
and say, Gangie, I'm a
pretty independent pig
but having lost my right hand woman,
I'm wondering if I might need
a change of pace and well
if you're need of
employment and Ms. Molesly
is in need of employment
and this house needs
financial backing, what do you think?
Would you, would you work,
would you all work for me?
- I think I would, dad.
(all laugh)
- Oh, a little tear wells
up in Buckster's eyes
as for the first time, he actually feels
like he's a part of something
bigger than himself.
- I'm 55, by the way.
- I know, are you older than Buckster?
- I might be, I might be.
- It don't matter.
- Dad.
- Come off it, Daddy.
- Incredible, oh, by
the way, Gangie, you see
that Colonel Hawkins is
standing right next to you
and you see the contract peaking
out of the interior pocket.
- I take it.
- Give me a sleight of hand.
Mrs. Molesly is going to
give you the help action here
so you can do it with advantage.
- Aw.
- At long last.
- Just me, my mom and dad.
- 24.
- What was that?
- 24.
- Oh 24, Gangie, yoink, it's gone.
Jeremy says, Mr. Boyd,
if you would be willing
to settle our debts or
to finance our family,
we would be more than grateful.
Is there anything that you would require
from us to do such a thing?
- Jesse, I came out here
with a single mission
and it was to take 100%
control of my oil fields away
from your father, given his investment.
You could say that my story has
come completely full circle.
(Brennan laughs)
- You see, he says it's done and you see
that Colonel Hawker
steps forward and says,
not so fast, I'm afraid,
your father sold the control.
- I don't know, what were
talking about right now, Hawkins?
- I don't, oh, sh*t, well
sh*t, okay, well sh*t.
Never mind, never anyone
mind and if anyone asks,
I have never committed a w*r crime
and he runs out of the room.
(all laugh)
Sorry, did you want to say something
to Hawkins before he left or no?
- Oh yeah, I just want to walk up to him
and say in my lowest possible voice,
you know what they say, never wrestle
with a pig because you both get
dirty, but the pig likes it.
(Brennan laughs)
- Yeah.
- No intimidation roll
necessary, Hawkins will be silent
until the end of his life.
And Buckster, go ahead
and make an insight check
here for me.
- Certainly.
Ooh, that's a 23.
- Nice.
- As Hawkins runs away,
you put a little pin in
one other little part of this
mystery, which was Hawkins
put a medal of valor in
the drawer of the study.
- Which Daisy still has.
- Which Daisy still has,
it was his medal of valor
that he got from being injured in the w*r
and he put it there after
you discovered the shrapnel
as deniability, because he
is a w*r criminal and knew
that Squire Badger wouldn't have anything
of record that he had
received that injury.
It was an attempt to cover it up.
- Wow.
- He rushes out of the room.
- So, once there are real
police that guy's going to jail.
(Brennan laughs)
- Oh yes.
- Can we all agree on that?
- You see that Edwina and
Carolyn both go up and say,
Mr. Boyd, we did want to
say we were very sorry
about holding your knife.
It fell on the floor when you fell down
in the billiards room
and we meant to return it
but when we walked out of the room,
we were stopped by a gentleman
in the library who said that
he would return it for us.
- What did this gentleman look like?
- Well, Mr. Longfoot, I
don't know where he's gone
but he was the one who said he
would turn your knife to you.
- Well, in a roundabout
way, much to his expense,
he did, I thank you.
- Amazing, amazing, amazing.
You guys have this stage here.
There are other people in the room still.
If you have any questions, yes Gangie.
- I have a question,
why was the Longbottom.
- Longfoot.
- Longfoot with the other
two after being like
beaten up in the tower?
- Oh yeah.
- Oh Simon Shellcrest speaks up and says,
ah yes, well, Mr.
Longfoot was standing by.
We were very confused ourselves.
Mr. Longfoot, we were all
escorted there by the constables
and then the constables
looked to Mr. Longfoot
and he said, knock them out here.
For plausible deniability,
Mr. Longfoot had received
some injuries about
the head and shoulders,
which you recognized happened when
Lars clocked the masked figure
in the head up in the elevator fight.
So it was a way for
Cottonbottom at that point
to be able to hide in plain
sight and notice anyone going
up the tower to try and find McCabbage.
- Hmm.
- Whoa, I think I'm near Sylvester.
I see Daisy incoming and
to the two of them, I say,
I'm quite happy about this
and well, sometimes I like
to play with the number three.
I understand that this is
maybe just a two thing.
And I cross the room and
I go up to that drunk
Scottish sheep Ewin McCrae and I say,
have you ever gone shot
for shot with a dog?
- You see, he goes, what kind
of shot are we talking about?
Ahahaha.
- I punch him, but jokingly in the face.
(all laugh)
- He goes good, right,
well, that's the one way
to get me hard, takes
a shot and incredible.
Lars, you've struck it up right away.
- Now we're just drinking and f*cking.
- Amazing, amazing, amazing.
Buckster you look in the corner
and see Armond Armadillo with the injury.
- Oh right, of course, Army, I don't know
if you can tell they're by
that public display of inquiry
but I suspected you
were a part of this man.
It's because you was limping around,
how did you injure yourself?
(Brennan stutter)
- Boss, there, are you serious?
- I was a f*cking wheel,
man, I was the f*cking wheel.
- Oh, right, right, right, right.
You did tell me that a lot of times.
- I told you that you were in the car,
when I was going down the road.
- Yeah, now that you mention that,
I can distinctly remember
the thumping beneath the car.
- Yeah, I get treated like sh*t, okay?
- Mm, yup, yup.
- The only last two things,
you see that Mr. Gilfoyle
steps forward and goes,
very well, I see all of you
seem to have put all of this together
and you have saved the Brockhollow family
which I appreciate, which
I suppose means it's time
for me to reveal that I am secretly
Inspector Neville
Montserrat of Scotland Yard.
- What?
- What's the f*ck?
You have not been on the clock, evidently.
- No, I've been f*cking up.
I've been here for a long time trying
to try to put this all together
and I didn't really do a good job.
- Oh, if you don't know
about this Neville character,
this m*therf*cker shows up
constantly in all of my mysteries
and he thinks he's the c*ck sh*t.
- Hey, f*ck you man.
- Hey f*ck you.
- You're a f*cking vigilante, man.
Aren't you supposed to be dead?
Why don't you jam a knife into
an outlet, you piece of sh*t.
- You want to talk about
vigilante law, let's a little bit
about the way you treat minorities, okay?
- Whoa.
- Oh, you don't want to open
up that part of it, do you?
- Oh, oh, oh okay, just
because me and everyone
who works for me are
horribly violent and bigoted
and because I don't ever do a
good job of solving mysteries
and don't do anything else helpful,
that suddenly makes me bad?
- Yes.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Also, you smell like sh*t all the time.
- f*ck all of you, I'm
going back to Scotland Yard.
You can only get my d*ck, goodbye.
- Bye bye.
- Daisy ignores all of that
and walks towards Sylvester
and she looks up at him.
She takes her hat full of trash off.
Sylvester, I know what you did for me.
I have known what it was like
to be somebody's partner.
But I had never known what it was
like for someone to be my partner.
I never told you why I
left you at the altar.
Fletcher Cottonbottom
had gotten information
about me that he threatened to turn over.
He did not want our union to
exist outside of his control.
If I married you, I
would put us both danger
and I did not want my mistakes,
my capers with Cottonbottom,
beside Cottonbottom to affect
you and I couldn't tell you.
And so I left and I want
to make things right.
And she beneath, you know, all of her,
she's kind of trying to
rustle something up from her,
whatever blouse and she
goes, Sylvester, you were
the only one that's ever able to unlock
this wicked heart of mine.
And from a necklace, you
see her engagement ring
that she's always kept around her neck.
She takes it off the necklace
and she gets down on one knee.
Sylvester, I said, I
was done with this ride
and I am, because the ride
is something short lived.
But I want to life and
I want to life with you.
- Lady Lucretia, I've seen a ghost.
- She says, yes, I've seen several.
(Raph laughs)
- Was it my brother,
he just recently died.
(all laugh)
- No, no, it's my dear departed,
Daisy, I was being cute.
Daisy, and Sylvester
reaches into his coat pocket
and he pulls out two gold bands
that I've kept on my person.
(Rekha gasps)
I've been all around the world
but I've never been home when
I wasn't with you, I accept.
- You see the Lord McCrae who's got like,
got one hand already
kind of up Lars' shirt
and it's kind of
massaging their back goes,
well, what are we waiting for?
Father, and points over at Ian.
(all laugh)
- Yes, with all my closest friends.
- You don't have any friends.
- I'm still covered in your sh*t.
- By the power vested in
me by the Lord God almighty
and Tufting Meadows, I
would like to pronounce you
Fox and Raccoon, you may kiss the beast.
- My long fox tongue just.
- Oh god.
- Yeah, I go animalistic.
I'm just licking the sh*t off of his face.
- Aw.
- I'm absolutely enveloping him,
I'm humping him, it's grotesque.
- I'm trying trash for the
first time and I love it.
- I start ripping his clothes
off in front of everybody.
I'm unbuttoning all his
like nice vests and like.
- Finding pieces of paper in the folds.
(all laugh)
- Incredible, you see
Lady Lucretia says, yes
like the ancient Greek beasts of old,
everyone disrobe at once.
We exit this wonderful
Bacchanal surrounded
by m*rder*d corpses and the
sh*t of sentient beasts.
- Boy, talk about a shocking ending.
- And with a shocking
ending, lightning strikes
and that is all for Mice and m*rder.
(all cheer)
Thank you for watching, see
you next time, farewell.
Mystery solved.
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09x10 - Unfinished Business
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.