(dramatic music)
(bright upbeat music)
(air whooshing)
(phone ringing)
(bright upbeat music)
- Hello one and all,
welcome back to another thrilling episode
of "Dimension 20: A Starstruck Odyssey,"
I'm your humble Dungeon
Master, Brennan Lee Mulligan
with me as always are our Intrepid Heroes.
Say hi, Intrepid Heroes.
- Hi, Intrepid Heroes.
- Last we left off, our
Intrepid Heroes, all aboard
The Wurst had just rocketed into faster
than light speed from Rec 97
having successfully stolen Aurora Nebbins
the Royal blue Mastiff.
Having successfully gotten
paid from their first
Smash 'n Grab gig with a 25K data card
and a five star rating
from Hyacinth Khrome.
For the surprise destruction
of her arch rival
at the Carbine Kennel Club
Dog Show, Myalor Nabthacks.
We also got all 10 of our Jib-Job workers
safely aboard The Wurst,
with a new kitchen modification
that ups their fees with a wonderful menu
being prepared
by the scion of the Royal house
of Rubian V, the Princeps Zortch.
And with some successful negotiating
from Margaret Encino,
all of your meal costs have been destroyed
because you will now get
staff meals through Jib-Jobs.
- Yes.
- There it is
- Huge, every little bit counts.
We're- we're getting ahead things.
- Can I just ask, is our staff meal
the same as the Jib-Jobbers
Or do we get just like pasta
with hot dogs kind of stuff?
- You actually get, well,
because you've successfully tricked
an alien Royal into making
kind of whatever you asked--
- We haven't tricked anyone.
- Yeah.
- They want to do it.
- They want--
- They're very happy,
- They're excited.
- They're excited?
- I think they're enjoying the experience.
- Yes.
- It's a little prince
and pauper situation here,
that sort of fun.
Not only that, Margaret Encino
has re-registered your ship
under the name, "The Wurst",
redone the transponder codes.
The ship no longer has the used condition,
you got a half a tank of fuel.
- Woo.
- You just stopped by
after losing some weaponry
in the Emerald Comet House of Fortune,
stopped by at Krystals and Things
to re-up on grenades and g*ns and weaponry
and all that stuff like that.
- Half a tank of gas.
Pretty good.
- Half a tank of gas is pretty good.
- Feels good, don't it?
- Half a tank of krystals
is feeling pretty good.
- I do, really like- my
personal life is so messy
and I get it here and I
have a pristine to-do list
(everyone laughs)
each episode.
I'm just like, great, we have
a lot to knock out today.
Every now and then I look down
and then I'm like, pretty good.
- Yeah.
- So beautiful.
- "Get the other half a
tank of gas" just got added.
- Yeah, incredible.
Yeah, Margaret Encino is on top of things.
And one other thing as well,
you also have Gnosis,
a planetary supercomputer from Rubian V.
That is a super powered
artificial intelligence
that the Princeps Zortch
absconded from their homeworld with,
for a little rendezvous with
Lucienne Rex, now promoted
to Crown and Scepter Limited
and the former friend
of Margaret Encino.
- The Princep--
- Felt like you said "friend"
a little bit weirdly.
- It felt like you dubbed in.
(crosstalk)
(all laugh)
- This is your "friend."
(all laugh)
Yeah.
- Friend.
- Friend. But the princess came aboard.
You recovered Gnosis, the supercomputer,
and tapped into it to see that it was able
to show you all these various
things across the galaxy.
You saw Barry Nyne in
gold plated space armor
kicking the sh*t out of
Hogg Cobb, whose jet pack
Skip had stolen.
You were able to see Hogg Cobb,
you looked at his Smash
'n Grab successfully.
And you also learned the origins of Gnosis
which were a collaboration between
the Monarch of Rubian V
and their scientific department
and some ancient Terran technology,
courtesy of the planets
from the Griivarr worlds
from Hon Grii.
- I'd almost forgotten it, I'd
almost wiped it from my mind.
- I didn't because I had a
drawn this being like, wow,
what does it mean?
- And we see indeed that all
Gnosis wants to do is help out.
But what does that mean in
a galaxy filled with people
whose intentions are not always pure?
The ship traveled through real space,
keeping a low profile
from the Martini Nebula
and the Krystals and Things,
all the way to the world of New Texas,
a far flung Amercadian colony world,
that's sort of a little rough and tumbled.
And we ended touching down
at a ship nursery here
in Baustin, New Texas,
with mutated jackalopes,
string light saloons.
The sound of distant laser--
- Oh it's South By?
(all laugh)
- South by Baustin West.
- Yeah.
- And electro banjo playing
from a bunch of different
speakeasies, saloons and cantinas,
and a big old billboard
saying, "Keep Baustin weird".
(all laugh)
- The way that I didn't
see the AU spelling.
(all laugh)
- Yeah.
- And then afterwards,
when you mentioned it,
I was like, what?.
- So ugly.
- It's really awful.
- When I write it down, my pen breaks.
(all laugh)
- We have a bunch on the to-do
list. From the galaxy wide,
What is the nature of Gnosis?
Who is aware of Gnosis
and coming after it?
We know at least that Lucienne Rex is,
Who else at this point?
We had a strange insight
into the institution
back on Amercadia,
where the Skip's memories seems to fail
and the strange attraction of
the Amercadian space brigade
and Admiral Gust Weatherall,
who seemed to recognize
the skipper back on Rec 97.
Something foul afoot there.
These galaxy wide issues
and the impending fomenting
revolution on Rubian V and
its effect on galactic trade.
And then we zero way,
way down to: you guys got a ship
that you need to refit and refuel.
You're coming into a space
port on the edge of the galaxy
far from prying eyes.
You know, you wanna get
to those Griivarr Worlds
to get those questions answered.
What is the nature of
the origins of Gnosis?
You also know that Dr. Edwina Caster
now apparently lives--
- And took a settlement from Handy Andi
- Took a settlement from
the Handy Andi corporation.
And on top of that,
you guys have a union to apply to
and a bunch of Smash 'n Grab
orders coming in on your app
as soon as you start to touch down.
- Forgot about that.
- Ooh
- There it is.
- Yeah, we've got work to do
(Brennan makes spaceship sounds)
- The fires emerging from the thrusters.
First time, your ship's been
in atmosphere in a while.
You got a lot of asteroid
dust and the smell
of hot burning cosmic dust,
as you finally are in an
oxygen-rich atmosphere
where that stuff can catch fire.
So thrusters kick up a
bunch of sand and grit.
You smell the smoke. (descending noises)
As you hit one of the larger
nursery docking ports here,
you hit the docking bay. (landing noises)
Your ship is one of the larger
ships that is even capable
of atmospheric flight.
One size category larger,
and you guys would have to
stay permanently in space.
You'd be like, destroyer class.
You land and see a bunch
of lights start to come on.
And a bunch of extremely tall ship bots.
You see this- sort of look
like they're custom-made here,
about 10 of these 12 foot tall,
gangly looking bots,
no mouths, big lantern eyes.
And you see, they have a
bunch of sort of loose cables.
Their hydraulics look kind of loose.
So these long spindly arms,
they begin to like get
your refitting things
docked up and ready.
And this big,
broad smiling, cigar
hanging out of her mouth,
Wideset, heavyset woman
walks out, cowboy hat.
"Hey there, coming in a little
late, what's your call sign?"
- Oh, we're The Wurst.
- "No kidding. All right."
(all laugh)
- Really? After all that work.
(crosstalk)
- Did we just get dunked?
- We just got dunked on.
- Dunked on.
- I thought that was the point I thought,
no, we dunked on- no.
- At the end of the day,
a spruced up hot dog
is still a hot dog.
(all laugh)
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Cool. You see that the ramp descends,
this woman walks up and says,
"Hey there, welcome.
I'm a head engineer of the
spaceport here in Baustin.
My name's Lamelia Lafarve,
pleasure, pleasure."
- It's so great to meet you.
- Hi there.
- Strong- the strongest handshake.
- Give me a persuasion check.
- Okay.
Her handshake is pretty strong. Okay.
Oh, that's like a 23.
- Nice.
- 23. She says "pleasure meet you,
are you captain of this here vessel?"
- No, I'm not.
I am proudly co-owner.
This is the captain.
- Well, hey there, cap. How's it going?
- Right on.
- Right on? I like this fella.
Man of few words.
(smile sound)
(cast laughs)
- It's just so loud.
- It's so loud.
- Why did it make a noise?
- This place is loud.
- I appreciate it. It's nice to know.
- Its nice. It's just nice
to know it in the dark,
He could still smile at us.
- You'll be in a different room
and then you just hear him.
Oh, there he goes.
- There he goes!
- He's enjoying something!
- You see, Lamelia looks over and says,
"How long is your stay
gonna be here in town?"
- Well,
We're actually,
we're looking for quite a
few things while we're here.
Right guys?
- Yeah. I mean,
I think that we were interested in maybe
doing some work here.
- Yeah. A few days, I would think.
- Yeah, definitely.
- All right. Well Roger that.
We aren't gonna charge
you for the full day.
You can go one day at a time,
but it's 40 credits per day to dock.
- Can I do an insight check if
this is, if she's fleecing us?
- Yeah, go for it.
- One day at a time.
- 8.
- She seems great.
- Marge, we gotta take it.
(Ally laughs)
- Yeah, for sure, right?
- Question.
We might be doing some
modifications on the ship itself.
Are you able to provide a workforce for us
or can these bots do that sort of thing
or will we need to go find that ourselves?
- Who, Chester?
- Who?
She points to all 10 and goes, "Chester?"
- Are they all named Chester?
- Eh, Chester 1. Chester
2, Chester 3, Chester 4.
- It's a great way to name people
(all laugh)
- I would agree.
- "Yeah. Old Chet can get the job done.
I mean, you know, for a fee."
And you see here, she
has this like wide belt
with all these little small cubes
that have like blinking
green lights on them
And you see, it just goes, Chet 1, Chet 2,
Chet 3, Chet 4 around it.
She says, "Obviously
they're happy to work,
but they earn the same wage
as a normal ship worker."
- Okay. Good to know.
- Yeah. I can't tell if this is like,
when you first pull off the freeway
and gas is so much more than it will be
if you just go feet further.
But it,
does it sound like this
is one of the only places
we can actually land,
'cause we're so large.
- Give me an investigation check.
- That is a 14.
- You're equipped to land
this thing on open terrain,
but yeah. On your entry, I think you
you did a quick scan for
like, "where can we land?"
And it's like,
"you can land out on
the outskirts of town"
in terms of a working
ship's bay, this is it.
- Let's do it.
- There's garages for like
small fighter class ships,
but something of your guys' size,
this is the only game in town.
- Cool.
Well, yeah.
What do you guys think? Let's..
- Yeah.
- Should we- can we--
- Can I interface with a Chet?
- Sure. You walk up to a Chet.
They're not android. They're
fully metallic and mechanical.
- So I can't...
- Go up.
- Hi.
I was wondering, I mean
you all do such great work.
I was wondering, do you
work on yourself ever?
- Get her done.
(Ally laughs)
- Who's "her?"
Who are you referring to?
When you say, "get her done"?
- Watch out for that first
step, hun, that's a doozy.
- Doozy?
(all laugh)
- It's all Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
- Thank you so much, this has
been an enlightening interface
All right. They're a bunch of freaks.
- Well yeah. What do we wanna start with?
Should we, how long do
you think it would take?
We just want some simple
modifications, right?
Like something to the g*ns.
- Gunnie. Yeah.
If there's anything you
have for the g*ns or...?
- Yeah.
- [Ally] What do you think?
- Any more ambitious things as well?
- Yeah. She looks at you and says,
"Hey, we're happy to have
your ship docked in town.
We can get it gassed up
and refueled and refitted.
That's no problem."
You would know that you
guys just got refitted
and probably don't need another--
- We don't need refitting.
We want fuel, we have nine
fuel credits. It's up to us.
- Yeah. Getting the other half of our tank
is on my to-do list.
So we would love to fuel all the way up.
- Yeah, we'll go to 15.
- May I also ask
if there's any sort of
security protocol here?
Cause I know if you were
to go through a valet,
you can that your Beamer won't get robbed.
- You see--
- I know that as well.
- Yeah. She looks and says, "Oh honey,
I understand you're nervous, don't worry.
Me and the Chets we got it covered.
Ain't that right, Chester?"
And you see that Chet Four
reaches into a compartment
and pulls out a little
light p*stol and says,
"Tell you what, I don't fear death."
(all laugh)
- What?
(g*nf*re sound)
- Okay!
- Okay, Chester Five.
- Yeah, can call me Chester Number Four.
(all laugh)
- Chester Four doesn't fear death.
- What is so hard?
- Chester Four is Boomhauer.
Okay. Yeah.
Let's just get our
little upgrade thingies.
- Right?
- Yeah. You see
She looks and says,
"Well, we can get you
refitted and refueled
any kind of modifications
or special things.
The Chesters know how to install
as long as they're working
for a decent mechanic."
But, and you see here that very clearly
the Chesters could not lead up,
they would need to be very
specifically instructed
about what they needed to do.
- Yeah. I'm a little concerned
about the security aspect.
- Okay. Yeah.
Can we just go for it and
try to find our mechanic?
- I think we just duct
tape the- Gnosis, right?
- Raymond's got it, come on.
- Raymond's got it.
As the ramp comes down,
all the Jib-Job workers come out and
you see a couple of them.
You see someone saying like,
"Yeah, this is where the big
skiff festival is. Oh man."
(all laugh)
And you see all the Jib-Jobbers
you see one Jib-Jobber comes over actually
to you, Skip, and goes like,
"I just wanna say the new
food facilities are amazing.
Thanks for all the upgrades
recently. Woo-hoo."
- What a doozy.
(all laugh)
- Oh you guys, are we probably
gonna head out from here
and just go into town?
- Yeah. We're happy to install any mods,
but we don't sell any here at the nursery.
There's a bunch of places in town
that you can get 'em,
we'll install 'em for you.
- All right. Great. Let's do it.
Before we leave, you guys
I know we kind of
glossed over this before,
but did you all sign your contracts?
Can I get--
- I just read over everything.
It's all good.
- Good. Cool.
So you're gonna gimme a signed contract?
- Yeah, and there you go.
- Cool. Okay.
- I signed mine.
- Mine is so wet.
- Oh, great. Cool.
Captain?
- ...you
You don't wanna sign?
- I just wanna read it.
- Oh. Okay, cool. All right.
Well then, the rest of you,
you get a 2000 credit signing bonus.
- Whoa.
(all cheer)
Oh, cool, cool.
- I'm gonna get rocket boots!
And I would also love
to offer one to Zortch.
- Oh, Zortch?
- Yeah.
- Would you please sign a
contract and be our chef?
And I will also give Zortch 2000 credits.
- Zortch is unbelieve--
Zortch says, "I've
never had a job before".
- You are fully employed, full-time,
in an airtight contract.
- Woo. Airtight, check those airlocks!
- Zortch, just to warn you,
This is not what all jobs are like.
- Yeah.
- This is as good as it gets.
- It's as good as it gets.
This is the best it could be.
- I've never had a job
before, but I love it.
- Wow. I've never had a job either.
- Incredible, yeah.
You see...
- Gunnie, are you okay?
- Sorry, I'm just breathing too much.
I don't wanna spend all my signing bonus
on getting my signing bonus.
(all laugh)
- Raymond Zam looks over and says,
"Hey Margaret,
Jib-Jobbers are heading off into town.
I think some might do
some walking on back home
or come back later.
We have an ETA?
We're gonna be here for
a couple days stationary?
- Think so.
- Wonderful. Well, I'll
give a loose email.
Obviously I know things
are subject to change,
but I heard you talking about security.
Are we worried about-
is there concerns about--
- There's a little bit,
we have come into some--
- It's me. It's some tech I'm working on.
- Yeah. And we really-,
we wanna try to hold it down.
- It's a new g*n I'm working on.
- Yeah.
- Amazing.
- A g*n that makes you c*m
- c*m g*n.
- You don't.
- Absolutely. Yep.
That's what I spend my time doing.
- Shoots Pleasure Putty.
- I'm so sorry.
- Honestly, not a terrible idea.
- We could work on something like that.
- I could sell you the Pleasure
Putty at a market rate.
- Yeah.
- So absolutely.
As you could tell, it's a
very sensitive technology
that we cannot let it
into the wrong hands.
- Yeah. Definitely.
- Raymond looks over and
says, "Oh, well, excellent.
So I'm happy to--",
and you also see coming off
the ship, Aurora Nebbins.
(Brennan makes animal sounds)
- Oh, I'm--
- I'm sorry,
is she just loose?
I thought we kept her in a space?
(all laugh)
- Can I do like some kind
of like understanding.
- She slips under the
door like a c*ck.
- I know that she is aquatic...
(crosstalk)
- Is she looking dry?
- You see, it's nighttime right now.
So it's actually quite cold out here.
The desert world, night,
it gets pretty freezing,
but you see Aurora already looks like
(Brennan makes animal sounds)
- Would you mind if I let
her into the water system?
- Is she going to eat me?
(Ally laughs)
- Okay.
- Because if I go into my psychic drone,
I am entirely defenseless.
- Okay. Aurora, why don't you come with me
and we'll find a spa?
(Brennan makes animal sounds)
- Just drop her off at a spa.
- We had to find some turtles too.
(crosstalk)
- I have terrapins on my shoppin' list
- And I have a couple of
things before we leave.
First of all,
I'd like to cast a psychic
concealment on Gnosis.
So any psychics looking for Gnosis
will not be able to see them for 24 hours.
And also I've got everybody a present.
I've never bought a present before
and I'm very excited about it.
Everybody now has an aquatic rebreather,
so you can come and
hang with me in my tank.
(all cheer)
- Okay.
(crosstalk)
- I can breathe under water?
- Yeah.
- Cool.
- Thank you.
- Incredible.
- What's the power you're
using on hiding Gnosis?
- Psychic Concealment.
- Amazing.
- It's not concealing them
for any kind of tech powers,
but anybody using psychic powers.
- To look for, amazing.
- Look for it, them.
- And I would like to
maybe minor hologram,
one of those little helping
dog vests onto Aurora.
(Ally laughs)
- It's just a hologram, though.
- Yeah. So she can go into cafes?
- Yeah.
- I think this isn't gonna
be a problem in Baustin, but.
- I just wanna make sure
just cover our bases.
- Incredible.
So you have Aurora in a
hologram-ed help vest,
which Aurora seems to appreciate.
She looks happy to have
a little help vest on.
You cover the sort of a
psychic dampener around Gnosis.
Gnosis has also been removed
from a power source right now,
which is a good thing.
'Cause you did-- the last thing you saw
was Gnosis sort of touching down,
interacting with hundreds
of people over the galaxy.
- Also...
I just have been thinking a little bit.
I think that Gnosis is like,
we should start treating it
like an entity rather than a tool.
- Oh I agree.
- Yeah.
- It has a strong psychic signature.
- Yeah. Okay.
That's all. All right.
Let's let's go get weird.
- We could ask Gnosis
about themselves next time.
If we ever boot it up again.
- Can I sense if Gnosis is
giving off a psychic signature?
'Cause if they're not,
- Zortch was--
- Even like, off.
- You see that Gnosis seems
to be a fusion of psychic
and tech powers. Like Zortch,
who is fully an organic being,
they were able to interface with Gnosis
purely through their own psychic means.
- Great.
Oh, in which case I might actually,
'cause it's not a concentration spell.
I actually might cast psychic
concealment on Zortch as well.
- Cool
- To cloak them
because I know that people are
looking for Zortch as well.
- Hell yes.
Cool. So there's a nice
amount of psychic dampening
and you're coming out,
Riva, in your psychodrone.
- Yes?
- Yes.
- Cool. So you all head- Lamelia says,
"All right, we'll get
her fueled up and ready.
Is this your first time in Baustin?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- "Well you have a great time. Keep--"
- Where should we eat?
- Oh, well if you've come
in here to eat the best,
if you want to get,
you know what everyone,
what they write us up the magazines about,
You're gonna wanna head to
Swallop's Slop and Gravy Bucket.
(Emily laughs)
- Swallop's Slop and what?
- What's that?
- Swallop's Slop and... (jibberish)
(all laugh)
- That's right, hell yeah.
Swallop's Slop and Gravy Bucket.
- Is that where like the
real, the locals eat?
Where do you guys actually eat?
You know, where people
eat when they come here.
- We want like the
non-Timeout Baustin take.
- Oh, well listen.
Swallop's is one of those
rare places where it's both.
It's the place in the magazine
and it's the place where the locals go.
- We gotta go. We gotta go.
- And how long is the wait there?
- Yeah, there's a line around the corner.
- Yeah. Maybe we should rezzy it.
- Yeah. Let's take a bird
scooter and rezzy it.
- Yeah, great.
(all laugh)
- You see Lamelia goes,
"But there's plenty of
good places in town.
If you go downtown by the strip,
you'll see a bunch of hotels
there's bars and eating places there.
But that's where a lot of,
we got a lot of people
coming in town this week
'cause of the Skiff Fest. So, you know,
- Yeah...
- [Zac] Skip Fest.
- I was worried that might
be happening this week.
- What's a Skiff Fest?
- You know it's happening this week.
- Oh, well you know there's a,
we got great dunes around
here for all the skiffs.
You may, if you walk
out of, of the nursery,
you'll be able to see 'em out there.
It's just a bunch of
skiffers from core worlds
coming out here to skiff on the dunes.
- Skiff?
- You keep on saying the word skiff.
- I think it means like,
is it like dune surfing?
- Oh for sure. Yeah.
She points out across the edge
on what during the daytime
will become like a
brilliant blue sand dune
with like some rocks there.
You see a number of different craft,
the two most popular sort of
formats out there that you see
that there are some very tall rocket sleds
and these long poles
that end in vibro-skis.
And then there are these
huge basically spheres
that seem like they roll through the sand
with a giant platform on top.
And it basically looks like, you know, a,
there's a lot of different
worlds that have cultures
around extremely dangerous land vehicles
because everything is flight
and like space travel.
It's like a certain kind of thing of like,
"Oh, let's like get a,
like mod out some kind of scooter
to like actually touch the ground
and like race it somewhere."
So you're seeing a lot of
string lights and spotlights,
and hearing music from in the town.
It sounds like a bunch of skiffers
coming out here to hit the dunes.
- I do have one last question.
I was wondering if you knew a shop that
someone who's looking for more used gear
that they could then sort
of upgrade themselves.
Those who are rather adept.
- She says, "Well, there's junkyards
all over the edge of town.
If you wanna look for some
real tried and true trash,
you can try that."
- So wee can just scavenge those?
- That would be just, those are just dump.
So you can just scavenge those.
Ain't nobody, that's
just outside city limits.
You can just go scavenge those.
You might wanna go with company.
- Because they get dangerous?
- You might run across some
scavengers out there for sure.
But you can also,
if you want something a
little more convenient,
and that's open 24 hours,
you could swing by there right now.
There's Plug's Butt-Ugly Stuff Hut.
(Emily laughs)
- Plug's Butt-Ugly Stuck Hubbut.
- Yeah. Remember that one, Skip.
Swamp, slugs, bugs. Okay.
- Plug's Butt-Ugly Stuff Hut.
- Plug's Butt-Ugly Stuff Hut.
Incredible.
- I think it's beautiful. Yeah, Poetry.
- There you go. Right.
Well, it's run by a fella named Plug.
It's butt ugly and it's
a hut full of stuff.
- Yeah. Let's get there right now.
- Yeah.
- But ugly pug, butt plug.
(all laugh)
- Now that's a different store.
You see--
- Can I make a roll just to
see if I get better at talking?
- Yeah. Gimme a roll.
This town feels it's gonna make you
better at talking, probably.
- Can I give him a help action?
- Yeah, same. I would love to be-
"Oh Skip,
Your tongue kind of comes out
a little bit further than--"
- Oh, Okay.
- Most.
- I think, you know what the problem is?
I taught you how to do
that "W" with your tongue,
but you're not supposed
to do it all the time.
- Oh.
- I've been doing it
all the time.
- Oh, yeah. Gimme a pilot check.
- Okay.
That's gonna be pretty good.
That's a 18.
- Yeah. You start to, you-
I think practicing is probably
the most helpful thing to do,
but you're getting your, yeah.
- I get it.
(all laugh)
- So yeah, you've gotten
a couple recommendations,
places in town,
you know, there's junk yards
out of the edge of town.
Looking at it without too much
of an investigation check needed,
you're pretty certain
that any ship modific-
like this place, Plug's
Butt-Ugly Stuff Hut,
is probably where you're gonna get
personal adventuring gear for cheap.
You're looking around,
you don't see any rec station servicing.
This town when getting freighters in,
it's pretty rare for
someone to have a freighter,
be able to afford a modification
and choose to come to New Texas.
So you you're guessing ship
modifications or equipment,
if they exist, are probably gonna be
in those junkyards somewhere.
- Got it, okay.
- Okay.
- Great.
- Let's do it.
- Hell yes--
- And I'm not gonna ask her
about drugs or alcohol.
- Yeah. Lamelia might
know, but she seems--
- I think I'd rather,
I'd rather come across
- Make a good first impression - It's
like getting to an AirBnB being like,
is there coke here?
(all laugh)
to your host.
- Yeah. That's an in-town question.
- Is it cool if I just snort
whatever's in the medicine cab?
- [Ally] Thanks for having me, but--
- That sofa bed is so comfortable,
who's your dealer?
- Treats us
really well.
- Yeah, I promise I'll
take really good care
of your personal living room, and also...
- As you guys head down,
you walk outta ship's nursery, immediately
see - this place is wild.
It's not uncommon on far
outer edge of the galaxy worlds to
not have certain amenities that
would just be anachronisms,
like paved roads,
when more than half of
your vehicles hover,
would be a total anachronism.
So the roads are just pure
sand, rock, and gravel, right?
But the buildings - metallic,
you see a lot of them clearly
run off of solar powers.
A lot of solar powered stuff out here,
which in and of itself,
you see there's a lot of like the sun's
gotta be intense here during the day.
You're guessing that during
the middle of the day,
it gets scorching in this place.
There are pink cacti in the sort of,
you guys are towards the edge of town.
These pink cacti are
like 40 to 80 feet tall,
like enormous, enormous cacti.
- I take a selfie
(camera shutter)
(all laugh)
- Then post it to your Reddit.
- Yeah. I post to Redd-
No, no. I'm kidding. Not my face.
Just my body, not my face.
- Just selfies of just your body.
- Just a whistle blowing thing,
a nude, and that picture.
(Ally and Emily laugh)
- Do you check your Reddit by the way?
- Absolutely.
- There's a message.
- I'll have something
in my inbox on Reddit?
- Yeah.
- Probably good.
- What is it? Hotbox420?
- Hotbox420. Yeah.
- Okay, cool.
There's a message from truly an account
that's clearly a burner account,
just a string of numbers.
You see, it says,
"Well played. Not sure
what the game here is,
but excited to find out. -L.R."
- Wow.
Okay.
- Margaret, you've gone very red.
You okay? You sick?
- No, I just got a message from a friend.
This is how I look
when I talk to friends.
- A friend that you're in love with?
- Okay. Yeah.
So she's cool.
Ah, I storm out of the room.
- You're in the street.
- I storm behind a cactus.
- You're just behind a cactus.
- Yeah, she's cool.
- Stop trying to touch
it, it's very sharp.
- Is there something on the
other side of that cactus?
- No.
- Do I see any Oases
with Terrapin in them?
- If you wanna go look for terrapins,
give me a survival check.
- A survival check.
- I've got alright survival too.
I'll help you look for some
- Will you please?
- turtles to sacrifice.
- Oh, I got a two.
Plus one.
21.
- Hell yeah.
- I got a three.
- A three. You have no idea where to look.
Barry, you've had some
wilderness survival missions in the past.
- I can find you some turtles.
(all laugh)
- Just saying that on a desert planet.
- Me and the Barrys have
had to crack a few open.
At first, it was tough,
but you get used to it.
Wow.
- So Barry,
do you wanna commit some
time to go turtle hunting?
- Yeah, I guess.
(all laugh)
- Cool. So we cut away, you
guys are figuring stuff out.
Barry, you're like full stealth mode
over in the edge of town.
- Where are these turtles?
- You start smelling,
there's a familiar smell
for turtles coming from a
dumpster, it looks like?
- Dumpster turtles.
(laughs)
Crack it.
- As you open it, like c*ck,
about a couple dozen tortoises,
(flocking sound)
(all laugh)
- These things are disgusting.
(all laugh)
Get in the bag.
- Cool.
gimme an athletics check,
versus a group of tortoises.
- Can I help?
- You're going turtle hunting with Barry?
- Can I just make an athletics?
- Yeah. Make an athletics check.
- 22
- Five.
- Five.
- You hit a tortoise real hard.
- You guys see, these
are, they're kind of a,
they're clearly designed to
fade in like camouflage around.
So they're kind of a dusty, indigo color
and they have curling rams' horns on them.
So there's a couple,
you grab like four or
five big horn tortoises.
These guys are fast, man.
You gotta really jump to get these dudes.
- Speed purple turtles
- Oh yeah. You see,
they skitter outta the trash
(flocking sound)
and like go under,
there's like a little
sort of sandy opening
at the foundation of a building
and they just sort of
skitter under the house.
- Turtles always skittering.
- For the rest of you. So you
guys are off turtle hunting.
You said you turned on this
Smash 'n Grab app. Right?
As you, where are you headed?
Are you headed to the downtown section?
You headed to the outskirts?
Where are you going?
- I think we're on like
a buying thing. Sort of.
- Yeah.
- Let's head.
Wanna head to Plug's Butt-Ugly Stuff.
- Yeah, Butt-Ugly Stuff.
- Yeah, we'll head to Plug's Butt, or-
- Do you have anything
you want me to look for?
- I think I already got, I got
a new g*n at the last place.
- Hell yeah.
As you get towards the center of town,
you see that the town is
very friendly and lively,
but you also see that as you
get away from the outskirts,
there are lots of walls
and security doors.
So there'll be markets and
the markets will not be open.
There's like 30 to 40% of
town in the very center
that is like full steel,
like irising security doors
that will then have like a little bazaar
or marketplace inside.
So it's almost like the city blocks
are kind of cordoned off here.
As you begin to walk through,
you see that you get to
one section of the market
and see Plug's Butt Ugly Stuff Hut.
Very old man.
Intense sort of like goggles
that can iris- magnify his eyes in there.
Two sort of poofs of white hair
that kind of mirror two poofs
of like mustache coming off,
smaller gentleman.
"Well, hello there, friends.
Welcome to Plug's,Butt-Ugly Stuff Hut.
I'm Plug, here. Can I be of
any assistance to ya today?"
- We would like some
butt-ugly stuff, please.
- Well, you come to the right place.
The whole hut's full of butt-ugly stuff.
(Brennan does a weird little laugh)
(Emily laughs)
- Oh my God. Who's the funniest?
We gotta keep making him laugh.
(all laugh)
I try to do a campy dance.
- Oh, gimme a performance check.
- A campy dance?
- We gotta keep making him laugh.
- Somebody's gotta do a campy dance.
- 17.
- 17?
- You do the robot and you're a robot.
- Yeah. You're like
backwards roller skating,
doing the robot.
- So repetitive.
- Yeah, Moonwalking and doing the robot.
- He looks at you and says,
"What on earth are you doing that for?"
- God, ignore me.
I'm sorry.
I really enjoyed your laugh and
I wish to elicit more of it,
but you know what?
I tried to force the situation
that should happen naturally.
- Oh it's all right. I'd
be happy to laugh for you,
if it make you feel better.
(Brennan does another weird little laugh)
- It's not the same.
It's not the same. Its gotta be genuine.
- I know, I know, I know.
- It's like I had a piece
of candy and I was like,
"That's so good. I need another."
And that's the wrong move. Okay.
- Well, but welcome anywhere over here.
Happy to give you a hand
with anything you need.
What are you in the market for?
- Personally, I'm in
the market for grenades,
fiber armor, ideally
with the agility ability.
A heavy slug p*stol,
a holo-recorder and rocket boots.
- Well, that's a tall order, Missy.
You gonna strap these rocket
boots to your roller skates?
- Well, I would like to maybe get some
broken rocket boots and outfit
them to my roller skates.
- You'll try.
- Yes I can.
- I believe it.
- Yes. I can try.
- Now there for everybody, if you want,
you can take a look around.
Most of the stuff in here,
full disclosure, is butt ugly.
- Is there some stuff that's not?
- Nope.
- Oh, okay.
- Plugs.
- He says, "So, help yourself
to anything you like."
Basic way this is gonna
work, for basic equipment.
The stuff in here that you guys wanna buy,
I'm gonna say if it's
cheaper than 400 credits,
you guys can get it here for half price,
but it's gonna come with a repair DC.
- Okay.
- I also have telemetry.
So if there's something
that you are not sure about,
I can essentially look at it
and I can tell if it's
enhanced or modified.
I can learn its properties
and how to use them
and whether it requires attunement to use.
And how many charges it has, if any.
- You see, he looks around and says,
"So feel free to mo- things like grenades
and such like that, we are
mostly going be able to find
without much of a fuss, but--
(all laugh)
- We were just covered spit.
And you're just deciding
whether or not to react.
- But I'll tell you for free right now.
If you're looking for
something more special,
I'd be happy to help you look for it.
It might be,
'cause we got some vaults
and stuff in the back,
so if it's something
little more special...
- Is his mouth getting small?
- His mouth is getting
smaller and smaller.
- Have you got any cursed things?
- Oh, cursed things?
Yeah. For sure.
For sure.
Yeah.
- And more importantly, do
you have any fridge magnets?
- Oh, fridge magnets?
Do you see you, you see,
He walks off, takes a rusty,
what looks like an Amercadian
soldier's meal container
and opens it up.
You know, those kind of
spicy 1950s housewife, fridge magnets.
where she's saying something like,
"The only husband I need is a martini".
- Yeah.
- It's full of that.
But it's clearly written by aliens
with a very loose understanding.
- Perfect.
- of like the human culture
they're referencing.
- Oh, I will take all of them.
- So you see,
there's one of them
with a sort of like
1950s wife pinup dress.
And it has that Courier-like
typewriter font,
but it's just says,
"9:00 AM - Alcoholism".
(all laugh)
- And, so it's sort of a bleak,
oh sort of bleak series of fridge magnets.
"Is this what you're looking for?"
- Yes, this is perfect.
Absolutely. Thank you.
I stick them all over myself.
And I take off one of the ones that I have
from the Martini Nebula
that I have duplicates
of and I give it to him
and I say, "for your trouble".
- "That's very, very kind".
That box of fridge magazine
is only 10 credits.
- Great!
- So you see, he looks over and says,
"You're looking for fiber armor, right?"
- Yeah. I'm looking for some
fiber armor and a big p*stol.
And if you have any of those expl*sives,
that destroy buildings.
- Ooh, something like a C4
or something, maybe
like a planet splitter,
Magneto Boy, Atom-o-Torch
Particle Blaster?
- Yeah. Stuff like that.
Yeah.
- Yeah. We can dig around in the scraps
and see what we can find.
- I really like him a lot.
- I like him a lot.
- A little sexual?
- Yeah, I don't get what you mean,
but for you,
- Like, am I the scraps?
I do get what you mean.
- Repairing stuff, is his sexuality?
(all laugh)
- I don't suppose you'd want
to take this shop on the road.
Would you?
- What, Plug's Butt-Ugly
Stuff Hut on the road?
- Yeah.
- How would people know where to find me?
- Well, you you'd throw up
a hut wherever you went.
- Oh, give me a persuasion check.
- Oh my God.
- I'm not sure I want
this man on our ship.
I got a 13.
- He said, "Well, I
appreciate the kind effort.
But old Plug was born in Baustin
and I'm gonna die in Baustin.
- Oh, that's sweet.
- Tomorrow.
- What?
(all laugh)
- Now, I'll tell you what. Let's
see about this fiber armor.
- Yeah. Fiber armor, rocket
boots, pistols. You know.
- Fiber armor, rocket boot, p*stol.
Go ahead and give me
an investigation check.
- Okay.
- Can I give her the help action?
- Yes, absolutely.
- Okay, baby.
- Ooh.
- Okay. There we are, dirty 20.
- Dirty 20.
He goes into the back and pulls out
a dust covered old set of fiber armor.
You see it says Magneto
Boy is the brand name
on the back of the fiber armor.
He says, "Now this is a pretty,
this is a pretty good set of fiber armor,
classic make and model.
Only problem with this Magneto Boy,
tried to do a slip where they had a--
- Do you need an antacid?
- What?
- An antacid?
- Well, sure, if you have a miracle drug.
- Oh, we just give him Pepto.
- I just give him a Tums.
- Don't eat too many.
I know they taste good.
- What are you, what is that?
- That's a--
- That's a miracle.
- With all of the advances
of science and humanity,
this has stayed the same.
We all like to eat sh*t
we know we shouldn't eat.
- Yeah.
- Oh for sure. I have,
I would say five or six
hot sauce scrambles a day.
- Is that a scramble
that you put hot sauce on
or is the whole scramble hot sauce?
- Is that when you go to
the bathroom? A hot...?
- No.
- The hot sauce scramble is well,
you have a basic sort
of Tabasco, hot sauce,
and then you sort of scramble
it with a Chalula or a
sriracha.
And then you have a hot sauce scramble.
- You have five or six?
- Hot sauce scrambles.
- How large are these hot sauce scrambles?
- Salad bowl.
(all laugh)
- Like, like a family salad
bowl or like salad bowl for one?
- Oh, like a mixing bowl,
like a kitchen salad.
- Everything's bigger
in New Texas, I get it.
- It's true.
- No, the Magneto Boy's good.
I can part with it for 200 credits.
Only the problem is they decided
as part of their branding
that they would magnetize it.
So it works like normal
unless they're firing slugs,
In which case they will
absolutely be attracted
directly to your vital organs.
- Okay.
This actually made a big
problem for me. Yeah.
Do you have no, no other fiber armor?
(Brennan makes strange sounds)
- I'm looking around,
I'm not seeing too much.
Again, the stuff in the hut is butt ugly.
- Could we fix that with a repair check?
- Gimme a tech check.
- I'd love to.
That is going to be a,
rakatatata! 27.
- Ey.
- A 27.
This fiber armor is gonna
be a DC 22 repair check
with a d4 possible direction either way.
So you, you can pinpoint
it's hovering around
a DC 22 repair check for the fiber armor.
- What do you add to a repair check?
- Mechanics, mechanics kit.
- I am, I could fix this.
I could fix this. I could fix that.
- Okay.
I'll buy it.
- 200 Credits to the barrel head.
- Wow.
- I could fix that without a doubt.
Without a doubt, I could fix that.
- I know, I can--
- I recognize this energy.
(all laugh)
- No, no, no.
- I recognize this energy.
I can fix this.
I think I can fix this.
- I trust you.
I've seen you do incredible things.
- Yeah. I've seen you
do incredible things.
- I'm sorry, I made 2000
credits this morning
and you were just telling
me that I'm great.
- Right? I buy this shitty,
I don't put it on yet though.
- Are there more?
Is there just the one?
It seems like.
- It looks like just, just the one there.
- You getting one too?
- Maybe.
- Cool.
- So you got a bad pair
of Magneto Boy fiber,
a bad set of Magneto Boy fiber armor.
- Again, I did not put it on yet.
- Incredible.
- I try to stick
one of my magnets to it
- Go ahead.
- And none of it is
metal, because it's fiber-based.
- Oh, give me an investigation
check for the rocket boots.
This is gonna be a higher DC,
rocket boots are a very good item.
- Help for you.
(Lou hums)
- Oh.
- Okay, but this still...
- 19 is not gonna do this.
- Oh, sorry heads up.
- Heads up--
- Add a d4.
- Add a d4.
- And if that doesn't get it, let me know.
- 1! ...20
- 20's not gonna do it.
- Potent Aptitude!
- Is that another d4?
- That's another d4.
- That's another one.
- 21.
- We're gonna call it at a 21.
We'll call it at a 21. So sorry, g*ng.
- Damn.
- Thank you so much
for helping me try.
- So you see he looks around and says,
I don't have rocket
boots, I have g*n boots.
They only sh**t straight down.
(Siobhan and Emily laugh)
- Wow.
- Kind of cool.
- Do they sh**t b*ll*ts?
- Uh-huh.
- How much?
- Wait.
- How much for those?
- Yeah.
Well that is about 300 credits.
- I can fix those.
- Okay, I buy them.
- You buy g*n boots? Cool.
- I mean, couldn't I just put
my leg out and then sh**t?
- No, they always know
what direction's down.
- Okay.
- But wait, what?
- We got two jetpacks.
- What's that?
- With g*n boots.
- I think I might be able
to fix those g*n boots.
- You could do it. I
think you could do it.
- They always know
which direction is down.
- What's that?
- One pair of g*n boots.
- Hey there, stranger. It looks like
a tall drink a' water just came into town.
- Okay.
- Well that's right.
You're a handsome man.
And then you see, he goes over,
gets you these g*n boots that
only sh**t straight down.
That's 300 credits.
- Can I do an investigation check
on the brain slug's sexuality.
- Go for it.
- Ooh.
- That's a lot,
that is a
(all laugh)
- Oh God.
- Zac, what do you feel about...
- I think it's...
- Are you just too like
primordial to be there yet?
- I can also give real world lore
about cerebro-slugs here if you want.
- Yeah. I think that...
- Is that helpful?
- Yeah, let's do that.
- On that,
I think maybe you knowing
that you are in business
with a cerebro-slug.
Cerebro-slugs, generally speaking,
obviously, in any galaxy-spanning species,
there's gonna be a vast and
cosmic array of difference.
But generally speaking,
Cerebro-slugs are incredibly fluid
and adapt in the same way
that they are able to access the memories
and skill sets of bodies that they are in,
or normally their fluidity
manifests in adopting the gender
of whatever body they take
for the duration of the time
that they are occupying that body.
- Okay, cool.
So it's just like you
got in, you're like, oh,
I'm kind of preloaded with this.
- Yeah. It's like running software
on the device that you're crafting.
There's this "Great Emhatchening" thing,
so whatever their,
whatever their cultural
understanding of gender
and their biological understanding
of reproductive sex is,
it seems pretty,
it seems like they're
here to have a good time.
They're here to pilot some bodies
and go with the flow as
far as that's concerned.
- Yeah. It's probably sadly, like what?
Skip, Skipper.
His like,
as an Amercadian soldier,
probably like - a pinup, you know?
- Yeah, totally. Totally.
- Yeah. You're running--
- I'm watching this like
slippery little mustache man hit on you.
And I'm like, that's funny.
So I know that that's funny.
- Okay.
- Skipper is the last
straight man in space.
- Marge, why are you laughing so much?
- I just love him.
- You said I'm a handsome man.
(all laugh)
- So, and then you had
the p*stol you wanted.
- A heavy slug p*stol? Yeah.
- Okay.
- And then I'm not saying this stuff
that I also took some
stuff that's 400 or under.
- Yeah. That's all groovy.
Yeah. Yeah.
Go ahead and give me
an investigation check
for the slug p*stol.
- Okay.
- Dirty 20, again.
- Dirty 20. You can find
a slug p*stol for 20.
- Sweet. How much money?
- He says, "Oh, this one?
This one I'll part with for 400.
It's an incredible deal,
it's the bargain.
Only caveat, is they made this
out of neutron star material.
So it does require- you
gotta be pretty brawny
to pick it up."
So this is the way this is broken is
normally they require strength 13.
This requires a strength 19 to wield.
As you see, he says, "I
actually can't pick it up,
so if you wanna buy it--"
- I actually can't pick it up either.
Can anyone pick this up for me?
- Barry's turtle-hunting.
- [Murph] I'm hunting turtles.
Aurora!
- Oh, you could--
- Aurora.
(Brennan makes animal noises)
- Can someone help me
put it on Aurora's back?
- Yeah, I can psychically,
I can use psychic throw to throw it
onto Aurora's back.
- You like hover this g*n.
I think you all see Riva do
whatever the aquatic
version of sweating is.
- I'm in a drone, but
the sweat is coming out.
- The like ambient dust in the shop.
You see that the dust is
normally sort of like floating in
but there's not too much wind right now.
As the g*n moves up,
you see that the dust within
a couple inches of the g*n,
just gravitationally moves
and settles on the g*n,
which is like how dense and heavy it is.
Aurora (Brennan snarls)
and goes on her back.
And she goes (Brennan groans)
- Oh my God, okay.
- It, is this worth...?
- Is this worth it?
- Can you fix it? Can you fix it?
- Give me another tech check.
- Right now?
- That's another 27.
- Another 27.
- This dice that you gave me is stupid.
- Thank you, Rick Perry.
- Thank you, Rick Perry.
- That one's gonna be
a 25 mechanics check,
with a d4 plus or minus depending.
- Could I do something about it right now?
I don't think I have, my
mechanics kit is on the ship.
- Mechanic's kit is on the ship, yeah.
- The worst thing that happens
is that Barry uses the g*n.
- Yeah--
- 'Cause Big Barry.
- Oh yeah, can I call Barry?
- Can we just call Barry
to come and join us?
- Can I call him and
tell him where we are?
- Sure. Yeah, absolutely.
Barry, you have a sack of
tortoises on your back.
You come in, you see Aurora go.
- Hey, here you go, girl, grab a tortoise.
(Brennan mimics eating violently)
- Blood, violent. Horrifying.
You see there's this
heavy looking slug p*stol.
- Barry, I dream of one
day wielding this p*stol.
But right now it eludes
my physical capabilities.
- Sure, I'll trade you the turtles.
- Yes. I also got you a power belt.
It needs to be, it needs to be fixed, but.
- Appreciate it.
Thank you.
And I grab the g*n.
- I also bought, ah, comms for everyone
so we can communicate within 30 miles.
(all gasp)
So we can stop
missing each other at really
essentially important times.
- Actually--
- You hand me a second
device and it's been,
since losing my job now.
I don't have two like Blackberrys
and I'm just like, I'm at home.
- Actually, I also, wait.
So you don't have to
use an action to reload.
- Oh.
- Whoa. Yeah.
It's a huge clip of power cells
that you just jack into a
heavy repeater or another g*n.
- Yeah.
- Incredible.
- This is rad, thank you.
- And then I also,
I also got a holo-recorder
that I'd like to sort of like duct tape to
Handy Annie so that she can fly around
and be a GoPro for Gunnie.
(all laugh)
- Margaret, this is a
good time to talk to you.
I've been wanting,
I've been thinking about it
and I've got this really expensive,
nice Acme-Ashmun product.
And I was wondering if
you have any context
with regard to sponsorship.
if that would be a thing
that maybe we could set up
and I could start
bringing in more credits.
- Wait a minute. Yes.
Because we are doing these
like badass missions, right?
- Yeah.
- And I don't know. Maybe we could,
maybe we could get some free swag.
I don't--
can I get on my email like immediately
and start sending out,
like I have a full template
for potential sponsors.
- You're gonna reach out to Acme-Ashmun
for sponsorship opportunities?
- Immediately.
- So, Handy Annie has this GoPro.
- So essentially, she can also be like,
kind of like collecting cool things of,
I was thinking like maybe mechanically,
it could be like a reaction for like,
anytime we fight that
she could grab a moment.
We could add it to our Smash 'n Grab.
- Oh my God.
- You--
- I'm just like, that is incredible.
- Yeah.
You guys now have a camera
person collecting critical BTS,
behind the scenes of
the crew of The Wurst.
You're building a brand.
- Can we put that into TaleSpire?
There's like a shitty, grainy version
of what's being filmed by Handy Annie?
- Yeah, Schaubach, if we
can k*ll the resolution
and go black and white
for some TaleSpire shots
and that'll be--
- I would say giant--
- Yeah, just super shaky footage.
- It's like on the side of Gunnie's face.
- And just so you know,
I have a water lute so I
can create a soundtrack.
- Oh right.
- Oh my, a water lute?
(crosstalk)
- Barry, you go to pick up this slug.
This is a slug p*stol.
And as you go, you have a 20 strength.
You have to widen your
stance to level this.
- Had to like dead lift it.
- Oh my God.
- No, that's a good p*stol.
- It's interesting.
- It's certainly interesting.
"Well folks, I tell you what,
it's a pleasure doing
businesses with y'all. "
Everyone has spent the requisite
credits on these items.
Right?
- We don't have anything
more expensive they wanted?
- One more question. I
just wanna look around.
Is there a chance that they have a used,
is it bar buddy?
Is that the name of the droid?
- Yes. Bar Buddy.
Yes. Absolutely.
- Do they have a used bar buddy?
- Give me investigation check.
Is this for the casino?
- Can I give him the help action?
- Yes, you can.
- Yeah.
- Where is that? Okay.
That's - Hey, thank God.
We have the help action.
- Oh no.
- Okay. Can I actually also look for it?
- Please.
- Yeah. That's a 12
- 12.
- Oh, 14.
- Would you say it relates to the ship?
- It's for a modification
for the ship, right?
- It's for a dream modification
for the ship that Gunnie has.
- Investigation?
- Yeah.
I got a 19.
- 19.
I think you look at,
a bar buddy is like a full bot.
That's a full robotic assistant.
You look around, that's not gonna,
you don't see any robotics
here in the stuff hut,
but you think the junk yard
is probably a better angle to that.
- Yeah, and that's all
the ship stuff. Right?
Did we get all of our
personal stuff? Anything else?
- Yeah.
- That's personal, yeah.
- You see Plug looks out and says,
"Well, if you got everything you need,
it's a pleasure doing business with you,
and please recommend to your friends
coming back to Plug's
Butt-Ugly Stuff Hut."
- You want us to plug Butt Plugs?
I mean--
- Whats that?
- We'll give you a butt plug
every time we talk to someone,
don't worry.
- If you think that's
the first time I've heard
a butt plug joke, you're sorely mistaken,
but not as sore as my butt.
- As we leave, can I say,
oh, just on our way out.
I'm sure is mostly gear,
but do you have any like
vintage Griivarr Worlds
memorabilia or anything?
- Give me one more investigation check.
- Okay.
Damn.
- Takes such a long time.
- That's an 11.
- Well sister, you're a long
way from the Griivarr Worlds,
but I'll tell you this for free.
If I were looking for the Griivarr Worlds,
I'd head over to downtown,
'cause this, I'd say one out of four
of these skiff heads
You know they're coming
from those Griivarr Worlds.
Oh, skiff culture is huge out there.
- Oh
- Huge.
- Wow, thank you so much. Okay, cool.
- It's a pleasure doing business with you.
- It sure was.
- Stay sharp out there.
Look out for scavengers and big horns.
- Oh, okay.
- What's a big horn?
- Points to the sack of tortoises.
- Oh yeah.
They're everywhere.
They're varmints.
If they get in you
cereal, you know it's bad.
- Cereal.
- You. So all you eat to be
clear is cereal and hot sauce?
- Well, you gotta put
cereal in the hot sauce,
or you're not getting your fiber.
- Well good for you.
I hope we have a lovely
last day on this planet.
- Dying tomorrow, it's a pleasure.
- Barry tears up.
(all laugh)
- Are you sure?
- The way that I imagine you writing down
character talks about this person,
just be like dying tomorrow.
- Remind us to check on Plug tomorrow.
You guys head back to the ship
with all your personal gear.
It's it's getting late,
you guys are hungry.
The junk yards are
probably closed right now.
Also not only that, all the,
in addition to all that stuff
that you guys bought at Plug's
you go through the space junk on the ship,
which by the way, the space junk,
in addition is also a consumable item.
You may use a crate of space junk
to cut the work time of a
single craft check in half
or to grant yourself advantage
on a single craft check roll.
- Nice.
- I love to see it.
- Wow, very cool.
- But there's a bunch
of extra, you guys bought so many crates.
There's a bunch of extra stuff
and you got all this cool gear
from the Krystals and Things.
For our viewers at home,
Our crew has leveled up and
jumped a rank in the deployment.
The ship is looking good.
A lot of new tech powers for Gunnie.
- Lot going on with Gunnie now.
- Gunnie's good now.
- Gunnie's good now.
- Gunny's good and strong.
- Oh, not strong, but good.
- You guys arrive back to the
ship with this haul of stuff.
Do you guys stop by?
Do you guys like try to
order food to the ship
or are you doing anything else then?
- We should definitely
at least get Swallop's Slop to go.
- Should we order tonight?
Yeah. Let's get Slops to go.
- Yeah. Skiff mates.
- What do we get at on the
Smash 'n Grab, by the way?
- Good question.
- As you are walking,
you check, you've been
pinging in the background.
You had that Reddit thing
happen and you also are like,
you know, sending a thing to Acme-Ashmun.
You're trying to apply, you
have this like union email open.
Did you send that off already actually?
The union application?
- I think so. Yeah.
- So you get a reply back
to schedule a meeting
with a union rep from U4F
- Cool.
- The union rep's name is Ife Amari-Reyes.
- Cool.
- She basically says,
"Hello, Ms. Encino.
Happy to hear about your entreaty.
Let's talk tomorrow about your application
and some points we want to go over.
- Incredible. I send a calendar invite.
- Amazing.
You have gotten a ton of
pings on your Smash 'n Grab.
(all gasp)
- My gosh.
All right, gather around.
Do we of our food? Are we like eating?
- Oh yeah.
I'm gonna say you guys
just get some to-go bags,
You see Swallop's is like a big Cantina.
It's packed with people, very lively.
But like a lot of cool places you see
it has a little window in the kitchen.
So you can just walk up on the
curb and get a to-go thing.
- Since we're going through this Cantina,
before we look at this,
can I just use my mercenary
thing to kind of know
who are the big players in this Cantina?
What sort of factions are matriculating?
- Hell yeah. You use your feature.
- Yeah.
- You look around,
there's a lot of walls in this town
and you're looking for like,
"Where's the criminal world here?"
where's the underground stuff going on?
- Yeah.
- At a big corner booth at Swallops,
you see a bearded dude.
Very smiley, broad smile.
And you see, he's got an
Amercadian surplus cap
and some Amercadian uniform material
kind of mixed and matched,
looks like either replica or army surplus.
He's surrounded by some other guys.
And you see, he has a Sheriff's
badge, not on his chest,
on the table, in front of him.
And you look around and kind
of get this attitude of like,
I don't see any criminals
here, but I see these,
I see a sheriff and some deputies here,
but the vibe you get from
the sheriff and the deputies
is they're like at this
corner booth at the Cantina
with like a lot of people
coming up to deal with them.
And it's like,
"Oh, maybe law enforcement has managed
to stamp that out here".
And then you're like, no, no.
- Okay.
So they're like taking kick
backs from the criminal world.
Okay. I point 'em out to everyone.
Just be like -- great.
I dunno, keep an eye out.
- Can I cast probe mind
just to get some like surface thoughts
from people in the bar,
just like rove around and
listen in on people's...?
- Hell yeah.
You couldn't get a more
different psychic flavor profile
as you go over the bar.
Half the people here are
having the time of their life,
feeling like they're going
to this edge of the galaxy,
like desert town to have a skiff thing.
You hear a lot of different languages.
There's like a lot of
aliens in town, a bunch of,
and then there's the wait
staff and the wait staff here
are highly cognizant of the
dangerous element in town.
And the person that they're clear--
And you also see that there
are some criminals here
and the criminals here,
you immediately get a good vibe from them.
They are as frightened as the wait staff,
and you hear in all of their names,
bubbling at the surface as
they come into Swallops,
that they don't want to be here,
but they are making an appearance to get,
to do various things,
to get on the good side
of Sheriff Warner Codge.
- It's a pretty good feel for the terrain,
social terrain.
- So yeah,
you see Warner's out there
and a lot of Warner's crew,
his deputies, have done their best
to cobble uniforms together,
but these are not Amercadian brigaders.
They're wearing stuff
to look as close to that
as they can get, but...
- Do they have any reaction to Skip?
- Did Skip go inside?
Cause this is from you looking
and Riva doing a kind of psychic--
- Yeah.
So I guess maybe I would report that
so that Skip knew if he, if
that made him want to avoid it.
- I think Skip goes inside.
Just like,
I think he just like
doesn't necessarily care.
- Yeah.
- I'll go inside with Skip.
- Yeah, I wanna see their reaction.
- Are we all going inside
for a drink or something?
- I feel like Gunnie is
at the window being like,
just doing the, trying to
get our seven orders in.
- I think Skip is probably more intrigued
by the popular place that
everyone says to go to
than in fear of the possible--
- Cool. Let's try it.
- Cool. You guys go in,
you guys put in your order,
anyone that wants to wait by the window,
can wait by the window,
but you could go in and get a
drink real quick at the bar.
- Skip is acting like a dad
who is in town on a work trip.
- Oh yeah. I do kinda
wanna get a growler of,
I wouldn't mind picking
up a growler of absinthe.
- Go. It's packed in here.
It's packed in here. I'm
either gonna need a--
- God, are you gonna make me roll
some kind of charisma check
to get the bartender's...?
- It's a packed bar.
So this is either an intimidation check
or an athletics check to get
the bartender's attention.
- That's so funny.
- I will go for...
...athletics. - I walk up to
the bar and I make eye contact.
- I got a 19 athletics.
- 19 athletics? Cool.
What'd you get, Margaret?
- It a 26.
- Margaret, you,
so Sid you're like muscling
your way to the front.
Margaret, using that opening from Sid,
you look up and a
bartender whose whole job
is to not make eye contact.
Just goes, "f*ck", can I get you--?
- Hi.
(all laugh)
We want a couple bottles to go.
- Okay.
- Go ahead.
They sell Runulunian absinthe
and high colonian vodka here.
- Okay. We're getting both.
- Can I use my empathetic
feat to know exactly
who would sell drugs in this cantina?
(Brennan laughs)
- Yeah. Give me an insight with advantage.
- Hell yeah.
- That's a 24.
- You clock a guy - he's wearing a sort of
faux-New Texas,
like cardigan,
like wooden toggled button sweater,
ski headband, goggles,
sort of like sandblasted,
like big wavy hair,
clearly a core worlder with
a t-shirt that just says
"Skiff It".
And you see he's talking
and he's looking very
excitable and has a
little bit of the powder,
like caked under his nose
and is pointing excitedly to
someone trying to keep a
low profile at the bar.
You hear him saying like,
yeah, man, we got a bunch
if you wanna go to the bathroom,
we go to the bathroom or
we can just do it here.
There's like no--
- I do feel like
during skiff weekend,
it's gonna be overpriced.
- Do we?
- I mean, I would just take the booze.
- I'm pretty persuasive.
- I could talk to 'em.
- Okay. Right.
The drone and the brain
slug, go buy some Kublacaine.
- I'll--
- Maybe get a dose
for each of us and sometime
we'll all do it together.
- Great. I'll slide up
to this guy at the bar
and say in my best New
Texas chill, such a vibe.
- I'll have six drugs, please.
- Now is this to the bro-y dude
or the guy he was pointing at?
- No, the guy he's pointing at.
- Cool. You see this dude turns around
and says, "Six drugs?"
- That's right.
- We're trying to party.
- Six whole drugs.
Go ahead.
Go ahead and give me a persuasion check.
- Great.
- Can I help?
- Yeah. Can he help?
Yeah. For sure.
- Great.
- Doesn't matter.
22.
- He looks up and says,
"Yeah, absolutely".
He offers you Kublacaine for a 50% markup.
- I have no idea whether
that's too expensive,
so I absolutely take it.
- Oh yeah. Yeah.
Let's just get outta here.
- Okay.
- 50% markup means that
it's 135 per dose...
- Great. So that's 810 credits total.
- Yes. Yeah, absolutely.
- Can I make a perception
check just to see
if anyone's looking at me?
- Gimme a perception check, Zac.
- That's really good.
- 22.
- Yeah. The deputies in the
corner have sort of noticed you.
You see long, long beard, long beard.
You see that the sheriff in the corner
turns over and says something.
A guy hits something on a little
sort of transponder device
and a bartender sees
something bling up on a screen
and puts a shot of
whiskey in front of you.
- For me?
- Courtesy of the sheriff.
- Oh nice.
- He extends his regards,
says good to see a fellow Amercadian.
- Fill her up.
- You see he nods and fills you up again.
- Oh.
- Right on.
- Amazing.
Do you guys do anything else?
Looks like the sheriff is not
doing anything crazy right now.
- Okay.
- I think it's just
good to know, you know?
- Yeah.
- Cool.
You guys, you guys come out.
Did you just get the classic?
- What do you mean?
- The food?
- Yeah.
- A lot of like, what
do you guys eat here?
- Slop and gravy.
- Okay. Then I'll get six
of, or seven of those.
- You guys have plastic takeout bags
filled with slop with gravy poured on top.
And you have--
- So wet.
You have six of them
just loose slop and gravy
in plastic bags.
- How much was the alcohol? Was
that normal price or was it--
- Prices should be listed.
- I mean like, was it marked up?
Cause we bought a bottle from the bar.
- You're trying to make it-
- I'm sorry.
It's just like, there's no way.
The markup is the same for the drugs.
So it's plus 50% getting it at a retail.
- I'm sorry. I'm buying it.
- Okay.
- You guys get back to the ship.
The slop and gravy is k*ller.
It is. It is liquid, but
oh, it's just basically,
it's like chili. It's just
served and loose in a bag.
- Chili and gravy?
- Chili and gravy mixed together.
- Do we get utensils to eat it with?
- Yes. Straws.
Big thick straws, straws
- Boba straws?
- Big thick boba straws
to get the beans and the
chunks of meat up in there.
- Pour it into my tank. So
it's just like these brown--
- Oh my God.
- We're not going.
And you bought us
rebreathers to swim in that?
- Yes.
- No, thank you.
- Your water purifier turns red.
- If we do go back to the ship,
I'll supervise Aurora.
And can I let Aurora go around in the--
- Oh yes.
- ...water system?
- I'm happy to let Aurora in.
As long as I am awake
and able to run away.
- Okay.
- You see that
there's like one of the
big horn tortoises got out
and is running on the
outside of a water tube
and Aurora's on the inside
of the water tube going...
(animal sounds)
- They will tire her out.
She won't attack you.
- Raymond Zam is over in the corner,
in a little pod sort of
waves in a friendly manner,
you know, just on his laptop.
He actually sort of sleeps in
one of the crew quarters here
just in case there's
a hot exit or something like that.
He has to like make sure,
so that's Raymond Zam,
but the other Jib-Jobbers
have all gone home.
Zortch is sitting cross legged
on the ground in front of you
looking out very pleasantly.
You have a number of Smash 'n Grab.
- We certainly do. Are
you guys ready for this?
- Yeah.
- There are a lot.
Should I just run through all of 'em or--
- Yeah.
- Run through 'em all.
And you can list the price,
like what the offer is as well.
Exactly. Okay.
there's a pretty big range on these.
For 20 credits.
- I almost feel like start at--
- 20 credits?
- Start at the highest.
- Oh no. I feel like you
gotta go the other way.
Cause we'll never do--
If you say the highest one,
I'm literally my brain
is gonna tune out ever--
- Let's just laugh at the low offers.
- I mean, yeah - what if it's 20 credits,
but it's really helping somebody in need?
- Yeah. Maybe you could
do a solo one if you want.
- All right.
- For 20 credits, do a hit
on Cooter by the yam store.
- Whoa.
- Do a hit?
- That sounds kinda fun.
- A hit for 20 credits?
- On Cooter
- So we have to k*ll Cooter?
- I'm moving on. You guys.
We got 10. We don't have to k*ll Cooter.
Okay.
- For 40 Credits. We're doubling it.
Yeah. "Get him dead at
no money. Thank you."
- Is Plug...?
- Who is asking for these?
- I have no idea.
- This is Cooter.
- Okay. For 10 credits,
mayor of town gotta go.
- Whoa.
10 credits.
- I'm sorry, did you just walk it back?
- These are bad jobs.
- These sound terrible.
- Okay? Okay.
Right. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.
Let's see what else do we got here.
For 5 credits, tug up on
it once then I'm dead.
- That was--
- We know who that was.
- I think we... - and that's Plug.
Plug wants a tug...
- I'm convinced that Plug
just submitted 10 things.
- That just came in, that just came in.
- Okay, I'll give Plug a hand job.
- You're not giving Plug a hand job.
- Not for five credits.
- Unless you want to.
- It's gonna be m*rder. He's gonna die.
- What if I give such a good hand job
that he puts his will in my name
'cause I know he's gonna die tomorrow?
- You know, look.
- It's gotta be, it's
gotta be the captain.
- You only have to do it once.
- For 400 credits.
- All right, there it is.
- There we go, big numbers.
- Needed: security detail
for offworld skiffers
staying in Baustin.
Three days, 400 credits,
potential for a contract to run longer
if we clear to semifinals.
- That's just for 400?
- So, but they--
- But then we're kinda in the
skiff world. That seems inter-
There's one more - it's for 5.000 credits.
- There it is.
- Okay!
- There it is, there it is!
- Good crew plus fast
vehicle to shake down courier
in Jackalope Ridge for ransom to package.
- Ooh.
So essentially someone's been ransomed
and now they're trying to get it,
they're trying to like
shake down the people
who ransomed them?
- Yes.
- It's possible.
I mean that's so that's the
language in front of you.
It's possible that you
need to talk to the person
to get more clarification
on what they need.
- Yeah.
- I mean, could we
potentially do both of the,
the security detail.
- Tug up on it.
- Yeah, we could do both.
- I do agree that-
- Pay 400 credits to hang out with like...
- I don't wanna--
- Skiffers for three days.
The per day breakdown on that.
Brings it down to the tug up
on it once and then I'm dead.
- We should just k*ll Plug
with a hand job at this point.
- I think he might write us into his will.
- There were a ton of
others that are talking about
big bottles that they need to
get from the liquor store stolen today.
- This is all Plug.
- Oh, oh, oh there's one.
Okay. This is only for 10
credits, but the ask is,
give me 15 credits.
(all laugh)
- Can we just do all the Plug jobs?
- I'm having a flashback to
when we ended last episode
and you were like Smash 'n Grab
is filling up with requests.
- And these are all the
shitty a*s busted requests.
I write back, if it's okay with
everyone, to the 5.000 one.
- Real quick.
- Do we have a fast vehicle?
- Yeah, that is a great point.
- Hey, the ship, we have a good crew,
we have a fast vehicle.
- We do have a scooter.
- And a dog and two jet packs.
- Can I make a insight
check to see if I like,
if I would know that that this
is to be considered a fast
ship or not?
- Yeah. Go for it.
- A 15.
- 15. It's, it's got a,
it's not a slow ship,
but you just wouldn't.
You would say that it has
a pretty standard speed.
That's pretty... This is,
this is not fast or slow.
- We should repaint it.
- If speed is necessary...
- Go faster stripes down the side. Yeah.
- If speed is,
I mean we do need to make
it look like a bratwurst
- Yeah, we need racing stripes
and it needs to be a brat.
- But, but if we need to be fast,
then that might take up fuel.
How much is fuel? Is it?
Is that, is the fuel cost gonna be?
- We just pumped. We just pumped up.
- We just pumped up.
- We just pumped up.
We're back at full.
- How much was it though?
- It's only a hundred credits per unit.
- I write back. I write back.
We're interested in, in this job.
Can we get some more information?
- Yeah, tell them we just pumped up.
- And then I send, I send
the hot pics of all of us.
- Hot pics.
- Racing stripes...
- No, I don't. Nevermind.
- Racing stripes incoming.
- Yeah.
I say we're about to get a racing stripe.
We're very interested in this job.
Can we get some more information?
- And this is to the
5.000 credit job, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- You see that you get a response back
and you send the photos as well?
- No, I don't think so.
I just send the photo of Gunnie.
- Cool, cool.
- I guess I send Gunnie
and Barry, is that okay?
- I'm not in the frame.
- 'Cuz it's like our buffest...
- Did you say our buffest?
- Just that Gunnie's
head and Barry's torso.
- Yeah.
You see that a text bubble
appears in chat with you,
says "thanks for picking up the offer.
Are you serious? Can we
get specs on your vessel?
Lot of wasted time on bad crews in town."
- All right.
- Wait, wait, wait
Before we do this, is
this a phishing scam?
Someone getting specs on our,
someone getting specs on our ship.
Is that gonna be a way
to infiltrate our ship?
- Should we just send only the speed?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Give me a piloting check.
- Great catch.
- That would be a dirty 20.
- Skip, you're- you know
how to give purely technical
information about the ship
without giving something that's
gonna be a serial number or
anything they could use for your
individual ship's security.
Like you know how to say,
like here's the engine we're running on.
Here's the model of the ship.
Here's the fuel- here's
the fuel core we're using,
which would be information that
someone could loosely use to
case your ship. But none
of it is security detail.
It's like talking about,
it's like talking about your
car more than talking about
like the password to your computer.
- Got it.
- Cool.
Then I, yeah, I send, I say, boy,
I hear you about that. No,
we're verified, you can check
our glowing past review.
- You get a response back saying
the one review is pretty glowing.
Happy to do business.
Great.
You see it says specs
look good on the ship.
What more information do you need?
- What's the package?
- Yeah. I think like, like I
maybe try and find out like,
what's the nature of this ransom?
- Who's the courier?
- Yeah, who are we shaking down?
Who's the courier?
"Courier holed up in Jackalope Ridge."
Decided to try and make a
big play with no backup.
Trying to ransom this package,
package was supposed to come to Baustin.
Courier got other ideas.
- Okay. So basically the
delivery guy stole a package.
- They didn't answer though.
- You said who's the courier.
- Yeah.
So where's the package coming from?
- There's a long pause.
Package's in Jackalope Ridge.
Name of courier is Loose Duke.
- Loose Duke?
- "Loose Duke" is absolutely
descriptive in a way.
that I do not desire.
- I need to meet Loose Duke,
and I need to punch him in the face.
Fine with this.
- The name really hit
me as I was saying it.
- Yeah.
- How are we gonna shield
ourselves from a potential?
If someone is trying to isolate
us in an empty area and take
advantage of us?
Ask what kind of ship that
the courier has maybe.
- Yeah.
Can we get the specs on the
ship that we'll be going after?
- Sure. Courier's vessel
no longer a priority.
- So the package is there by itself
and we're just going to pick it up?
- Full disclosure, courier,
maybe a few friends might
be somewhat strapped,
not organized.
Holed up in Jackalope Ridge.
We need quick extraction
and retrieval of package.
No need to k*ll courier or associates.
Just need package retrieved.
Okay.
I write in just the most
straightforward language I can.
For us to do our job,
we need as much information as possible.
Where is this package from?
We have a lot of offers on our table.
- You see there is a long pause.
And then the response comes back says
"Might not be the right job.
Pleasure doing business with you."
- Sounds good.
- What?
- This sounds sketchy as f*ck, right?
- Of course, it's sketchy.
Let's go kick all these people's asses.
- That's part of what we do!
- Now we can go to Jackalope Ridge
and they're not expecting us.
- Yeah.
- But maybe the package--
- Then we can get that.
I like this. I agree with--
- Why do we want the package?
The package is meaningless to us!
- The package is worth more than 5k.
- OK. We don't even
know what it looks like.
What if we steal somebody
else's package by mistake?
- Because we know, it's a group of people.
Jackalope Ridge is pretty rural, right?
Like we would be able to see...
- Oh yeah.
Anyone here wanna give me like a geography
or some other kind of check.
- This person is already
gonna be pissed at us
if we steal their package,
we might as well double cross them.
- Yeah. Exactly.
- No, I'm saying we might
as well agree to the deal
and then double cross them.
- Oh f*ck.
- No, but then we'll get a bad rating.
- Yeah, exactly.
- This way we secure our rating.
- Yeah, they can't give us a rating
if we don't take job, right?
they can't just randomly write a review.
- So we could--
I like this! I think this is awesome.
- Then should we go with--
- We're doing this to defend Loose Duke?
Everyone.
- We're doing--
- Everyone feels that
strongly about Loose Duke.
- Hang on a second--
- We're not gonna make five thousand-
- Actually, we're on our own right now.
We're we can ransom it back to Loose Duke
or to this person.
I have a feeling
that it's spelled L O O S E.
But I feel like it changes it
a lot if it's spelled L U C E.
- D U K E versus D O O K.
- Interesting. How is it spelled in that?
- I'll tell you what.
- Yeah, how is it spelled?
- I'll tell you what.
- Both words. So it's "Loose."
L O O S E and then duke. D U K E.
- Oh, okay.
Yeah.
- So it's Loose Duke.
- So maybe this person's rad.
- So, but I personally,
- I send a nude.
- There's a long pause. And
then you see dot dot dot
Hotbox420?
- Ah, f*ck! How am I world famous?
- Question mark.
- I actually really like
Marge's idea though.
- Okay, but we don't have to
go freewheeling like that.
Do people just wanna take the money?
Cause I've I've reinitiated the
conversation. We have an in.
- I have a question.
- Yes.
- What if they hire
somebody else for the job?
- True. And then we get there and it's us
and another mercernary.
- I have to say...
- Also Loose Duke.
- I have to say, if they're reaching out,
the Smash 'n Grab game was a,
there was a lot of reaching out.
Can we browse to see other Smash 'n Grab?
- They were truly- the highest
one was like 40, 400 credits.
- Can we google Loose Duke?
Can we see what's up?
- Yeah, can we look up Loose Duke?
- Hell yeah. Give me
an investigation check.
And I'm gonna say if none
of you have the criminal
background or the, or the--
- I have Mercenary.
- Yeah, I have Watcher's Eye.
- So you guys can make
this with advantage.
- 20 on the geography check
with regard to Jackalope Ridge.
- Cool.
- 24 on the investigation
check for Loose Duke.
- You go (energy noise) and
like your cybernetic eye
projects a hologram and you
see, there is a sort of 3D,
it's almost like a GIF of a mug shot.
You see--
- I think it comes outta my mouth.
- You see a razor thin, extremely worried
looking, like stubbly face,
like short cropped hair,
bunch of rings, bunch of tattoos,
bunch of like glittered up
teeth going like, come on.
man, come on, please.
And it just keeps
repeating that ad nauseum,
which is apparently what he was
saying to whatever this like
hologram mugshot is.
And you see that, that's his,
that's his quick sort of
schematic. Come on man. Please.
- You know, I thought he was
rad until he started begging,
like those glittery teeth are really fun.
- The rap sheet on him is a mile long,
but you don't see any like
violent crime on there.
You don't see. It's like a lot
of like theft, drug charges,
petty larceny, auto theft...
Stuff like that. Looks mostly a thief
rather than like a hardcore k*ller.
But his rap sheet is long
enough that he-he's been in the
game a long time. If that makes sense.
So it's like as much,
His like, his immediate
vibe is this guy's a loser,
but that's a long rap sheet.
This guy's been working for a long time.
- He could be like-
- Seems like he should have died by now.
- Right.
- He could be a Hogg Cobb
and there's Barry Nynes in his vicinity.
- Right, right, right.
Exactly.
Jackalope Ridge is a nice pace away.
There's a reason they're looking
for a starship crew to come
get this. If you were
doing this on skiffs,
it would be like many days
journey across the desert.
Got it. Right.
- So that's why we needed to be fast.
We needed to get there immediately.
- Needed to get there immediately.
What'd you get on your geography?
- 20.
- What kind of information
are you looking for on a 20?
- Terrain? Kind of more
like honestly, topography.
It's just like flat expanse. It's just--
- Like a place we could
like hide our ship.
- Mountainous.
- Extremely mountainous.
And you see the area you're
looking at has a lot of g*n
points focused on a,
a set few number of ways into
this sort of mountain range.
Like very limited pathways.
And you also see that there's
not landing points for ships.
Like you couldn't land there
- it's too rocky to land
anywhere in there.
- We'd have to board
- Just,
is it possible that Loose Duke
is trying to steal a ship and
is putting out their own Smash 'n Grab?
- That's what I'm saying.
I think this is like a,
I think this one is being kind of funky,
which makes me feel like f*ck' them up.
- You guys, we have enough money, right?
We're not hurting for 5.000 credits.
So should we skip this one
or should we get absolutely
squirrely and do it, but
not do Smash 'n Grab?
- I am never going to say no to money.
Okay.
- You're right!
- We can load -
We can load up on Plug jobs after this
and get our rating back up,
if we decide to betray this person.
- Plug might be dead tomorrow.
- I think that I actually,
now that you mentioned ratings...
- Plug jobs!
I really think someone needs to, I think-
- Just for the rating.
- Someone needs to do Plug jobs.
just for the rating.
- Someone needs to go do the Plug jobs.
- Listen...
- Captain?
I think we should skip this one.
And I just start flying.
(laughter)
Okay, all in favor of
the $5.000 credit job
on - through Jib-Job.
Raise your hand.
- Through...?
- Smash 'n Grab.
- Sorry. Yeah.
Through Smash 'n Grab.
- I'm just in favor of doing it.
- I was in favor of like of
scoping it out and stealing,
but I'm, I will go with the wind.
- I'm down to kind of feel it
out and not give the package
back to the person and get a
bad rating and then do a bunch
of shitty jobs and get a
rating back up if necessary.
We could fly over there and
then see what the vibe is and
then accept or deny the job
once we're there. Right?
- They may not give us the...
- Yeah. Okay.
Should I just accept it? I write back,
turns out our pilot has itchy fingers
and wants to go fast. Is
this is still available?
- They hit you back.
They hit you back and they say,
we appreciate a woman who won't turn up
her nose at some hard negotiation.
Job's still on the table.
Go ahead and click accept.
And we'll tell you where
the handoff and payout is.
- Accept.
- You accept the job.
- Okay, Riva, if this goes
bad, we need to get in there,
and you use your psychic stuff
to get them to put in a good review.
- Absolutely. I'm all down for this.
- Where's the pickup?
Where's the-?
- So the job's listing
you gotta go Jackalope Ridge
and get this, get this package,
the, the payout and drop off.
So where you're supposed
to take the package,
Swallop's Slop and Gravy Bucket.
- Oh, oh, we're working for the sheriff.
- We are working for the sheriff.
- Sometimes...
- Can we hyper speed there
and just do this f*ck' job?
- Let's do it.
Are we, are we headed there right now?
Is that, is that the plan?
- Or sleep?
- Do we wanna do anything first?
- I mean, I've got some
repairs to make to your stuff.
- Yeah. We've got a full day
of stuff we wanted to get done
tomorrow.
- Yeah. There's the junk yards,
but I mean that, that, yeah.
- I'm also going to, if this goes bad,
I can disarm the sheriff of his phone
and then rate us on it.
- Okay. Yeah.
We've got a bunch of great
plans for the rating.
- Everyone's super
concerned about the ratings.
- So should we just go there
and try to knock this out
in a few hours and then
get sleep on the way back?
- Do we really wanna work for this guy?
- We already took the job.
- We took the job.
- We can decide whether or
not this is a bad situation.
- Let's just go get this
thing and figure out what-
cuz we can look at it.
He's being so sketchy.
- It could be buncha too bad guys
and we get the box and the
box is awesome and we keep the box.
- Agreed. Let's go.
- Never forget, guys:
The ball is rolling up.
All right? This only goes well.
- I guess I'd just forgotten about...
- And we forget sometimes, you know?
- Cool.
- Don't forget my shoes sh**t b*ll*ts.
- Oh right. Yeah.
- So middle of the night,
you see Raymond looks up,
he takes a pair of headphones off. Hey,
should I send a little
message to the Jib-Jobbers?
Or are we gonna be back in
the nursery in, in time?
- Back tomorrow.
- We'll be back.
This is just overnight.
Just, you know, wear
earplugs to bed tonight.
- You got it.
You guys take off, you see
little tortoises running up
along the vents and the pipes.
- We got an infestation.
- They breed so quickly.
I definitely wanna try and
encourage them to mate so that
Aurora's got, like a-
- That's disgusting! I don't want that-
- I don't think you have
to encourage them to mate.
There's already three times the number.
- They were going at it in the bag.
- They were going at it in the bag.
- I could smell it.
- You're just holding a
bag of mating tortoises.
- They were...they were going nuts.
- The fact that the smell is
what alerted you and not any
movement or sound.
- Barrys have advantage on
perception checks with smell.
Barry has a very good sense of smell.
- You guys take off
flying through the night.
You get out out from the sort
of like smog pollution of
Baustin and take off and you
get under a clear desert sky.
You see a face of the galaxy
you've never seen before
scintillating blue. And you
see that these dunes out here,
as you get away from
all the skiff terrain,
it's like hyper chopped up by
skiffs and get to places that
are just wind shaped. You
see long curving side,
winders of blue sand
switchbacks, and ridge hills,
and all sorts of terrain that
scintillates with blue diamonds
underneath a crescent moon.
And you see the 80 foot tall
cactuses out in the open desert
Get up to a hundred,
120, 150 feet tall swaying
underneath you as The Wurst
with just sort of minimal
nighttime lighting.
- Can I send my psychic drone
out onto the outside of the
ship and just like, cling on.
- Yeah.
You like hanging out.
- Titanic it on the front.
- Yeah.
- Hell yes.
- Can I make those repairs
while we're traveling?
- Hell yes. Give me- gimme
your first repair check.
What thing are you gonna
try to repair first?
- Oh, let's go for the...we'll start,
I'll go for the, the fiber armor.
- Fiber armor.
- I need to hit a DC 22.
- You actually, I said
it was a d4 up or down.
It goes down by four - DC's
18 on the repair check. Okay.
- Great. I get a plus nine to this.
- Okay. Nine or higher.
- Can I give a help action.
- Handy Annie can abs--
Oh yeah, absolutely.
- First one is a...
25.
- Hell yeah.
(Emily shrieks)
- You have a set of fiber
armor and you got it for steal.
Fixer upper.
Oh yeah. You like pry the
magnet core out of there.
- I feel stronger...
- Good, good.
All right. Let's keep it rolling.
Yeah, I'll do the, yeah.
- You got time for one more.
- Yeah. Let me do the power
belt or the, yeah, the Slugger.
I'll do the power belt.
- Yeah, do the power belt.
- Cool.
- The DC on that goes
down on by four as well.
So that's down to,
Oh, that's like, yeah.
- That's a 16.
- 16 does it.
Power belt is fixed, yes.
- Can I also try and
hack one of my grenades?
- Yeah. Go for it.
- Okay.
I'm just gonna take an incendiary one.
- Mhm.
17. Oh, sorry.
16.
- 16. That fixes the grenade.
Absolutely.
I said, yeah, DC 15 on
fixing those grenades.
- Great, great.
So you guys are flying.
Pilot's got it under -
Skip's got it under control.
It's a short atmospheric
flight, but you two,
So you two are just in the workshop.
Workshop is full to bursting
with cool resources.
- Yes.
The ball is rolling up. However,
atmosphere flying is expensive.
It's gonna be two up fuel
units for there and back.
- Okay. Got it.
- You see erupting from the sand.
Is this massive stony ridge
that sort of like goes from like
incredibly dune scaped open
sand desert to suddenly very,
very rocky. Right?
- There's gonna be worms
out here, aren't there?
- You head out and see this ridge.
As you approach,
Are you taking any stealth
measures as you approach?
- Oh, I think we're definitely doing that.
Right? We're trying to get
in as quietly as possible.
- Before we, before we land or anything,
I'm gonna throw a grenade
to see if there's like any,
like Dune-style sand worms.
- Like, when we're far away?
Not like when we're up
close to where we're going?
- I'm saying like, like at
some point before we land.
- We're doing all this stealth sh*t,
and you just throw a grenade?
- Yeah yeah.
- As I make my stealth.
As you're flying over the
desert, you can actually,
so you can throw a grenade if you want.
Or you could just hit,
hit the quad-hyon cannon
whatever you want to do.
- I think I, yeah.
Are people not worried about this? - I'm
curious to see you sh**t at the ground.
- Yeah, just sh**t at the ground.
- Yeah, I'm just gonna
sh**t at the ground.
- Yeah. You have hours to get there.
So you take a couple shots at the ground.
Go ahead and give me a survival check.
- Can I get, can I help?
- Yeah, you can give a help action here.
- 17.
- You pepper
the blue desert sand here.
You see the hyon beam
sort of scorch the sand.
You see there's like five or
six little pock marks of now
brilliant blue glass from where
the lasers cooked the sand.
- Beautiful.
- Awesome.
- I'm gonna make that
into a cutting board.
- Doesn't look like
there's any, any life here,
you don't see any
movement of any wildlife.
- Okay. I've dusted for sand
worms, I think we're safe.
- Can I use my own
stats with disadvantage?
- Yes. You can use your own
stats with disadvantage.
- All right. So I have
expertise in stealth.
So that will be
Nat 20!
- Yes!
- And a 19.
- Ohhhhh!
- Oh my god!
- Wow.
19...
- Plus nine.
- 28?!
You guys all watch - you
look up at the crescent moon.
You look at the crescent moon
and you dip the nose of the
starship down, and memorize
the next 150 miles of terrain
just, and you dip the nose back up.
You don't even need to look at it.
You just have an understanding
of how fast the ship is going,
And you guys see that the Skip
after you do that hyon blast,
kills all the lights on
the exterior of the ship.
Can fly perfectly blind. You just,
you know how fast you're going,
you know where everything is.
- I'm holding my breath.
- It's very funny to me that before this,
we were flying along
illuminated like a beautiful
architectural feature. It's like,
you've gotta see this hot dog.
(laughter)
- Incredible.
So you go totally dark.
And about like 40 miles from,
from where the ridge starts,
where it's like your last
sort of landing spots,
you actually k*ll the back
thrusters and just glide in on
like the mag hover. So you
just like, it slows down.
You know, it takes, it
takes a little extra time,
but you fully just the, you know, the,
the noise of this ship is basically just
(gentle hum)
Like almost as silent as could be.
(gentle hum)
And you already are reinforced
for ramming. So you,
you know, if someone was
within a couple hundred feet,
it would make a lot of noise,
but you come in for a soft
landing on the sand that farther
away than a couple hundred
feet gonna be totally silent.
- So this is a kinda on foot mission?
- There's no place to land
deeper into the ridge.
Cap - the Skip - has
brought you guys in for like
an ace pilot quiet landing, dead of night.
- Such a good roll.
- How, how loud is the scooter we stole?
- Silent.
- Ah, yes.
- It is at, it has taken seven damage.
I don't think we fixed it.
- Oh, it's a construct.
So if you, if you could, yeah.
- Got you, bro.
Yeah, I repair it.
- Hell yeah.
For...
Which one of you?
I repair it for 11.
- That is no sweat. You're see this,
like this took some very minor
sort of damage to basically
just its hull. It's like, yeah.
- Can I like coo to Aurora and
kind of be like right now we
need to be quiet.
(menacing growl)
- Incredible.
- You see that, yeah.
- I was thinking The Rescuers
Down Under - the lizard.
- The lizard, Joanna. Yeah.
You see that she is suspended
on just her like claw tips on
her front and back legs and
is- she's not even moving her
like elbows, just, just with her fingers,
like low to the ground.
- She's up to the challenge.
Before we go in,
I am gonna cast buffer on
myself just to give myself extra
temporary hit points for an hour.
- Zortch and Ray,
look at everybody and ask if
they should stay on the ship
with Riva's body or not.
- Ooh. Yes.
- Not a bad idea.
I'm gonna cause battle
pre-cognition on myself as well to
up my AC to 15.
- I'm also gonna walk over to Barry
and touch his armor and infuse
it and give you a...or no?
Would you prefer weapon
enhancement or armor enhancement?
- I'll take an armor
enhancement, if you don't mind.
- Great, I juice Barry's
armor a little bit. Rewire it.
You've got one plus AC until the end of a,
the next long rest.
- You guys - it's full...
You have that awesome silent
landing into this blue sand
cradle. And as you end there,
it's you guys getting
all suited up in the bay.
You guys head out.
You head - ooh, freezing
cold night in the desert.
As you begin to head up into the ridge,
I'm gonna go ahead and ask
for a group stealth check.
- Oh, I will cast Smuggle.
- Yes.
And now Smuggle is basically
pass without trace.
For the duration, each creature you choose
within 30 feet has plus 10 bonus to
stealth checks.
And can't be tracked by-
except by enhanced means.
- Okay. I'm gonna roll real quick here.
Okay. The group as a whole
needs to pass a DC 20.
So on stealth.
- I got a 28
- 28.
- 16
- 18.
- So I have a plus 19 to
stealth right now. Yeah.
And I got a nat one.
- Oh no.
- I am a second nat one.
- Oh God.
- Oh wait. No, no mine bumps up,
I didn't even look at my stealth.
- I got a...okay, wait plus 10.
So I'm plus 16. I got a 33
- 33 from Sid.
- 16.
- 16.
- 18.
- 18.
- 16, 18, 33, nat 1, nat 1.. .
- 28.
- 28.
Unless someone has any
weird PC creep ways--
- Okay, I got an 18. I think I can...
- You have Defiant?
- Oh, Defiant.
- Okay, you gotta hit a two.
You hit a one, it's no dice.
(Ally groans in defeat)
- Goddammit.
- Potent aptitude.
- Ooh!
- That automatically gets you to the DC.
- Zero?!
- Okay. So a lot of resources being spent,
but you guys actually managed to clear
that group stealth check. Woo, baby.
- If I'm gonna get a nat
one, I have to do something.
- Oh wait, wait, can we say that,
that time on the ship
was a short rest also?
- Yes. That time when the ship
was a short rest, absolutely.
Well, except for anyone who was working.
So you were working, you were working,
not a short rest for you.
- I didn't need it.
- That's okay.
Nor for the pilot who was piloting,
but Margaret, Barry, and
Riva, that's a short rest.
- I didn't need one so I'm good.
- You all head up into the ridge
It's a good 50...
It's a good 50 martrons,
still dead of night.
Thank God you guys passed
that stealth check.
You arrive at what is
clearly an old desert...
It looks like some sort of
ancient desert monastery with
some kind of semi-religious
looking dome with a large
slit open in the outside,
or like sort of opening.
And you realize it's like
a religious observatory.
However,
you also see that this
place is ancient beyond,
sort've, reckoning.
And you see that there are
a lot of like beer cans and
garbage, kind of like
rooted around out here.
So it looks like some old ruins
that like teens come out to,
to get drunk.
- Can teens just read a
f*ck' book for once?
You know? I mean party somewhere else.
- Party somewhere else.
- When I was a teen, I
partied and I read books.
It's called multitasking.
- I shake a couple to see
if there's any floaters.
- However,
- Loose Duke?
- You also see...
- Floaters.
You see, there is a cratered skiff,
like one that got badly blasted.
It clearly got like moved
up here by something,
cuz it couldn't have gotten
up through the ridge.
But it's like, looks like
it took a lot of hyon beam
fire during something, all
around the rear back thrusters,
so whoever was firing on this
was firing as it was moving away.
You see, there are a couple
of makeshift turrets.
Anti-aircraft/spacecraft turrets
set up on the exterior of this place.
You approach in the dead of night.
As you approach you quickly
tuck behind some cover because
you see there is a little
sort of whirring alarm camera,
some kind of like sentry bot
camera that is clearly like
motion detecting.
- Should we try to sh**t that camera?
No, because if they-
- I think they would notice
if the camera just went dead.
Oh, can you,
can you do any tech tricks to it?
- Can we hack it and have it
just stay on the same frame?
- Oh, of course, I cast Off on it.
Although if it goes away...
- Then somebody will come check on it.
- Okay. What if I put,
what if I put a minor hologram
right in front of it that
replicated the system?
- You...okay. Awesome.
You--
- I like look at what it's
seeing, kinda get a vibe for it.
- It's just a loop of like a tumbleweed
going across the sand or something.
Well, maybe not that.
- You...
- So you create this
like forced perspective
hologram right in front of it.
So it's like occupying a small space,
but it's like a rendition of
what the larger terrain was
behind it. Whoop. You create it,
you see it flickering into
life and it's made of light.
So there's sort of no motion detected.
All of you guys walk
past this thing into the monastery.
- Nice, nice.
To see a bunch of portions, sort
of around, like food scraps.
What looks like some kind of
setup communication system,
a small like card table with
some kind of dice game on it.
And three sleeping individuals,
all in sleeping bags.
One of whom is Loose Duke.
Right next to Loose
Duke, handcuffed to him,
is a like titanium briefcase.
- Nice.
- If I cast Disarm on
that briefcase or like...
- Would it break his arm?
- Well, no,
cause it didn't work when
you disarmed whatsherface?
So she had a chain on a g*n.
- Yeah...
- But I guess I was
wondering if I could disarm
the handcuffs.
- Can I sleight of hand try to like...
- Oh yeah.
- But he's,
he's surrounded by like
soldiers or something, too?
- All three of them are dead asleep.
You see there's an alarm thing
for their turret to go off.
- You do have pass without trace.
You could potentially
roll a super high stealth.
- Yeah, I mean like--
- We could see if we could find the key
if he has the key on him?
- Yeah. Can I just, like...?
- Can I disarm him of the key?
- Can I search his pockets? Like...
- Give a stealth check, number one,
and then give me sleight of hand.
- You can disarm him of an object
- But if it's carried, not worn,
you have disadvantage.
- 30 Stealth.
- Incredible.
- So sick.
You leap into the room silently.
And as you get there, go ahead and give a
sleight of hand.
- Goddammit.
- Nat one.
- No, you didn't.
- I reach in his nose.
- Yeah. You go to searching his pockets.
And as he does,
he sort of starts to roll over
in his sleep and embrace you
in his sleep.
And he sort of rolls partially
on top of you and he nuzzles
his head into your chest.
You are kind of pinned underneath him now.
- Once again, can I
roll for his sexuality?
- What's the move now, Skip?
- Skip is just gonna look
at the rest of this crew.
Just say, just be like...
Do I k*ll him?
- Can I disarm him of Skip?
- Afraid not.
I'm gonna go over to the
guys who are sleeping.
Just point my g*n at them and go,
All right, fellas, wake up.
(Brennan laughs)
Alright. I point my g*n
at the guy spooning Skip.
- Okay, cool.
I'm gonna need a group intimidation check.
- You got it.
- All day.
All day.
- Oh yeah.
- Goddammit.
- A one.
- 22.
- Oh my God. What is happening?
- I fart. I just loudly--
- I crit! I crit, baby!
- Nat 20?
- 17.
- 17.
- 10.
- We crit in both directions.
- 22.
- 22.
- 13.
- 13.
- A 5 is what a nat one is for me.
- Cool. 5, nat 20 here,
- 17.
- 17.
- 10.
So 17 is sort of the
lower of the top three.
- I also put my roller skate
right on the little chain.
That's that's attached to the thing.
So he can't whip it away.
- Cool.
I'm going to roll in front of the board.
We're kind of gonna do a little
morale check for these guys.
They only have a plus two to this,
but that means on that
17, they're gonna hit it.
They're gonna make their
morale check on a 15 or higher.
16.
- Dang.
- Somebody gotta die.
- You see Loose Duke wakes up and says,
OH MAN, GET 'EM!
- And everybody roll initiative.
- Now I got a nat one.
- All right, fellas.
- Oh my god.
Five for me.
- 13.
- Anyone here get above a 12?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, 13.
- Barry, Gunnie, Skip.
Okay. Barry, Gunnie, and Skip,
you're gonna act before these dudes do,
you can all go right now.
- Sweet.
We don't wanna k*ll you yet.
And then I'm going to,
I can't do like...
Could I like set for stun?
Do I have to, like, sh**t these dudes?
If I sh**t these dudes
with a g*n, do they die?
Is there like a laser thing--
If you sh**t them with a g*n,
they definitely die, yeah.
- f*ck me, man.
- All right. I'm just
gonna try to grapple one.
- Yeah, I mean like-
- Cool!
- I'll go into the zone.
- You go into the zone. Hell yeah.
- Sunglasses. And I'm just gonna...
- It's so dark in here.
- You just gotta beat the
six on this athletics check.
- Okay, here we go.
- Woo!
- Nat 20.
- Whoo!
Uh, yeah, you fully...
You see a guy goes for
a g*n for like a g*n
next to his sleeping bag, and
you just step on his wrist
and put your other knee,
like down on his butt
and fold his legs up.
And he sort of like pretzels
under one of your arms.
- I didn't fart!
- Amazing.
That's gonna be Skip and Gunnie.
- Since I'm already here,
maybe I'll just try to grapple.
- Hell yeah. Give me an athletics check.
You just gotta beat a 10.
- You're gonna move in
the spoon to grapple.
- Whoo!
- 19 on the die.
- Hell yeah.
So you're already embracing this dude.
He stops.
Gunnie, what are you doing?
- Gunnie's gonna do the same thing.
- Oh, oh, oh.
- Oh, Gunnie!
- All right. I'll tell
you what you gotta beat.
- Like this, Gunnie.
- You gotta beat a 17.
- Great. I have a minus
two, which means...
- You have to get a nat 20.
Or no, you get a 19 or 20.
- That's high.
- That's only a 10.
- Cool. You go, this guy sort've--
(laughter as Lou mimics a bad grapple)
This guy goes, grabs a g*n...
- Oh my God...
- He grabs a g*n and he's
going to... gonna grapple you.
- Okay.
- Go ahead and give me an athletics check.
- I got this.
- Athletics or acrobatics.
- This is, acrobatics I'll take, yeah.
Oh, that's a dirty 20.
- Hey!
- Cool, you evade him.
He like wriggling away.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry!
Everybody-
- Don't apologize, Gunnie!
- I just, I thought we were grappling!
- Um, amazing. Give me
another athletics check.
- Alright.
- And you too, Zac?
- 24.
- Cool.
- That is 11.
- Cool.
You manage to hold onto both your guys
and that's gonna be
Riva, Margaret, and Sid.
- I wanna sh**t the chain that's attached
to the briefcase to
get it detached for me.
- Give me an attack roll.
- Okay.
- Oh, once per turn, I
can do it with advantage.
Okay. That is going to be a
24.
24 is a hit. Go ahead and roll damage.
- Is this an attack against an enemy?
- No, I would not say this is
an attack against an enemy.
- Okay. I got it. Okay.
I got a seven on the die and I'm going to
use a kinetic die to add to it.
- Nice!
- So 11 plus four, 15 damage.
- This thing has a hardness
of 10 and five hit points,
exactly 15... Blam!
- And then I use psychic push-pull,
pull it over and put my foot on top of it.
- Margaret, what's up?
- I would love to run to that comm center.
- Yeah.
- And try to find the log.
And I would love to use my academic memory
so I can like photographic
memory, anything.
And I'm really looking for stuff
from Sheriff Warner Codge.
- Holy sh*t!
Go ahead and gimme
investigation with advantage.
- Okay, cool.
- Almost like we're a
- With advantage?
f*cking well-oiled machine!
- Yeah, with advantage.
- Wow, we rule.
- Listen, fellas, we might
be on your side, everyone-
- Whoo!
- just needs to relax
- 28!
- 28.
- 19 on the die.
- You scan through, (computer
noise) immediately. Yeah.
You scan all this, all these things.
The most chilling threats
you've ever seen in your life
from Warner Codge, to this
dude, being like, your family,
your kin, your kin's kin,
all in the f*cking sand.
Scrubbed out. Not a trace of
dust anywhere in this galaxy.
You bring that package here and now.
And I'll give you the
courtesy of a quick death,
you f*cking snake.
- Okay, So this guy, Loose Stool, is-
- It's Loose Stool what?
- Loose Duke is the
person who was the courier
that then decided to flip?
- Then decided to flip.
- Why didn't he say-
- I think can we talk to-
not to k*ll him?
Is there any info on there about like
what's what it is or-
Yeah, on that 28? Yeah, you
guys see the thing goes away.
- Should we just like memorize this?
- You grab that, as you're grabbing that,
top of the order again, that's gonna be
Skip, Barry and Gunnie again.
What do you guys wanna do?
- I'm gonna reboot and
turn off the alarm system.
- Hell yes. Great.
- Hmm!
- Bloop! Their alarm system goes off. Brr.
Skip and Barry, anything else?
- I guess I just wanna do some kind
of an intimidation check or something?
- Yeah. Gimme another intimidation check.
The situation has changed
pretty dramatically
Since the first time you
guys did intimidation.
- Can I do it with, do
I get it with advantage
when I'm raging?
I don't think so, right?
- No, I think it's just a straight roll.
- Come on.
- Whoo, baby...
- 21.
- Hell yes!
- Oh, what do you say to this
last dude who's still there?
- I know we woke you up.
We might have f*cked up
and that might be our bad.
I don't know yet.
Everyone, relax!
Relax?
- You see the guy next to Gunnie?
Who watches Gunnie k*ll
their alarm system.
Just he's still got
the p*stol in his hand,
but he goes to put pointing it up.
- Cool. All right.
So here's the situation:
We got hired to get this
box, but we don't necessarily
like the guy who asked us to get the box.
We need to see what's in the box.
- Yeah. What's it mean
to you and why do you-
- What's in the box!
- Ha, ha, ha!
- What's in the box!
- I'm wearing the perfect costume.
- What's in the box?
- You see, Loose looks up
at all of you and says,
"Come on, please, you
gotta gimme that back.
Please, please gimme the- gimme the-"
- You are not in a position
to do anything other than
tell us, we are trying to
be on your side right now.
- We might give it-
- You need to give us-
- back to you
- some information.
- I don't f*cking know. I can't open it.
- Why did you-
- Why did you decide
to steal you it, you f*cking idiot?
- Because!
Everything in the box,
do you know how much money
he makes off of that?
- How much was he making off of it?
Sheriff Codge, he can't come out here.
It's outside his jurisdiction.
He'll get nabbed by the Directorate.
- Who's the Directorate?
- The, the f*cking Lone Star Directorate.
- Okay.
So how much is he getting by
having you come and get it?
- I do all these runs every nargon. Okay?
It's 200 credits a nargon
and I had to do a run
from New Dallas all the way to Baustin
and it barely covers the
f*cking fuel cost, okay?
The Directorate knows that
that Codge is up to something
and he, he makes a crazy salary
working as Sheriff, so he tries
to keep us on the low down.
And I found out that he
makes like a crazy amount.
Like every one of these he's making like
somewhere like five figures credits on,
I'm getting paid 200 credits to ship 'em.
- Oh, no.
- Okay. Can I use Handy Annie?
And try to use my hacking kit on this?
- To open it?
- Yeah.
- Hell yeah. Go for it.
- So I'm gonna get
advantage from Handy Annie.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Okay!
- Okay, Baby.
- Okay...
- 26.
- 4 and a 19.
- 26 to hack it open, you
hit this little data lock
on the outside of it...
This thing is, briefcase
was maybe underselling.
This thing is a suitcase
packed with brick after brick,
after brick of Kublacaine.
- That's what I thought.
- Fascinating. Interesting.
- How much can I roll to see
how many thousands of credits
this is probably worth with the markup
that we already know is happening in town?
- Yes, go ahead and give
me a, I guess, give me,
we'll call this like a finance check.
- Oh, great.
- Do you have advantage on this?
- You do. So this is
intelligence plus expertise.
So this is a plus nine.
- Okay, so... 13.
- Okay. I have a nefarious plan.
- You have a nefarious plan?
- I have a nefarious plan
where everybody comes out good.
All right?
Now the Sheriff wants you dead.
And no matter what you
do, you're a dead man.
Unless we - very nice
people - let you run away
and fake your death, right?
- Okay?
- Right, right?
- But all that...
- No, no, no.
'Cause we can sweeten the deal
for you is what I'm saying.
We put your little dirty fingerprints
all over the inside of this.
We take two of these bricks out for us,
making it look like you've
stolen the Kublacaine, all right.
And maybe you've already passed it on.
You've already sold it.
You see what I mean?
You get it. You get it?
- Hm mm.
- You run away.
We have two bricks of Kublacaine
and we sweeten the deal
by giving you a cut.
So you, you have some
credits to run away with.
That's more than the 200 credits
that you would've made from this job.
- Okay?
- Everybody's good.
- Right?
- Do you have family?
- Family?
- Yeah.
- These guys are my family.
- Great. So you don't. Okay.
- How much is it worth?
- What did you roll on the die by the way?
- I rolled a 13.
- 13, hard to say out
here, like on a core world
where this stuff is like
a little bit harder,
it sounds you can be a
little bit harder to,
to come by or get marked up more.
This guy said five figures.
You just wanna look at weight of it.
And you're like, I know
what I pay for Kublacaine
like at a party on like a
core galaxy rec station.
This is like six figures at retail.
You could probably just drop
the briefcase off to someone
and clear middle five
figures credits in like just,
just handing it off wholesale to somebody.
- I know we're worried about our rating,
but another plan on top of that plan,
we smoke the Sheriff,
and just keep it?
- I was thinking that,
if we can just get him
away from his phone,
we can give ourselves good rating.
- All right, someone, your put your foot
on this guy's neck and let's have him make
another Smash 'n Grab account and hire us,
give us five stars-
- Okay!
- to let him live.
And then that'll balance out the zero.
- I feel like Loose Duke has already had,
I'm starting to like Loose Duke, okay?
- Yeah.
- If we k*ll the Sheriff,
he won't even fit the review process.
So we don't add another review at all.
- Do we get penalized for doing a job
where we don't get a review?
- You do not get penalized for doing a job
where you don't get a review.
- Oh, all right.
- Okay, listen.
- Interesting.
I take a photo, we take
all of this sh*t out.
I take a photo of the empty brief case
and say we got here and
this is all that we found.
No people, either.
- Margaret, actually, as you say that
it occurs to you that
there is nothing in the job
because this Sheriff was trying
so hard to make this happen.
You're not, you didn't
agree to return 10 bricks
of Kublacaine to Sheriff Warner Codge.
- We didn't. We said we
would return the package.
- The case, yeah.
- Let's fill it with space junk.
Also so it has to weight-
- Has a weight to it.
- Also, is there a way for
the Sheriff to figure out
that we hacked into the case?
- Can I like-?
- Let's just put sand in it.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Give me another
hacking check real quick.
- Okay.
- If we put sand though,
he'll know that we did it.
- Ooh. Hacking is what?
- Hacking-
- Oh, Sid should do the hacking test.
- So, I do that, yeah, yeah.
- Cool.
- Nice!
- Handy Annie,
gonna help me out?
- Whoop! Woo.
- Okay, I got a 14.
- You look at the account
grabbing you here.
Like the account that gave
you that had this job listing.
Right?
You look through it again and realize
this account has never
hired another job before.
- This is a burner account.
- Okay. Let's, should we,
what do you guys think?
We leave these people be?
- Yeah, I think we'll lea- well also,
didn't this thing specifically
say not to k*ll the courier?
- Said you didn't have to.
- Okay.
- Oh, okay.
- Oh, alright.
- Keep an eye out, Loose Duke.
'Cause I think this dude
personally wants to m*rder you.
Like we were told maybe not to do it.
- All right, got you.
Check this out, check it out.
Here's an offer, okay?
We split the Kublacaine 50/50.
I couldn't open the case, right?
- I push 'em down to the ground.
- I disarm the guy that has his hand up.
- Everyone be nice to Loose Duke!
- We get the hell outta here.
We get the hell out of here.
- Big 180 on Loose Duke
from from Barry Syx.
- I never wanted to k*ll him!
- Something you were
also aware of is again,
the idea of like your ship has not begun
any modifications process.
- Yeah, right.
- We're here with the plan.
- Should we just take the 5.000 credits
and hand this insane thing over.
- I'm a hundred percent down
to steal that Kublacaine.
It was more just, you know,
it's just adding another step
of the process that we're
gonna go ice this guy.
- I'm down to steal it.
I am just worried that we
are going to be in dock
and doing modifications
for at least another day.
We have to make sure this Kublacaine is-
- Okay.
- hidden.
- Can I-
- What about-
What if we feed it to the dog?
- We also, all the Jib-Job
people are back there.
The Jib-Job people.
- Cool. You're right, you're right.
- Jib-Job!
- When is this job due?
- Yeah, when are we supposed
to meet back up with him?
- Like, I would imagine
it's as soon as possible,
we were just trying to
get here right away.
- Right, but why don't we
just go back and do our mods
and then give it back?
- Okay.
- Great.
- And just do a little
bit of the Kublacaine
- My friends, I'm telling you.
I know what Kublacaine does for you.
It's only good if you just
snort it before a fight.
- I will say that Barry
Battalion is against drugs
except for steroids.
Everyone needs to be really careful.
- Kublacaine kind of like steroids.
- Interesting. I'll have some.
- Looks at you, Loose Duke
says, "Here's an idea."
- Oh my God.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no no no no!
This is good. Listen.
- How much of this have you taken?
- None. I couldn't open the case.
- So this is just your base vibe?
- This is just Loose
Duke's vibe, everyone.
Get on his level.
- Check it out.
Check it out.
The Sheriff knows that I suck.
- Right?
- Right.
- Yeah.
So if I opened the case, right,
then I would probably steal
some of the Kublacaine.
And you could actually give
me some of the Kublacaine,
like I stole it.
And if you guys came here
and I blasted my way out
and took like, if you guys
have like a skiff or a scooter
or something like that,
and I like took off on it,
then you could go and be
like, "Hey, we got the case."
"We can get the 5k and Loose
Duke stole like half of it.
- And then like, I'll
just take a quarter of it.
You take the other quarter
and then, you know?
Yeah. And, and...
- You think he's gonna believe
that you only took half of it?
- And that you shut us up?
- And we're gonna give you our scooter?
No, that's a bad deal.
- What about your idiot friend?
- Yeah. I think we're good on Loose Duke.
- We're good on Loose
Duke, we let Loose Duke...
- Barry, stop standing with him.
- Come on.
- I thought he was gonna
be part of the crew.
- Barry, come stand with us again.
- Do you need a Jib-Job?
- What's up? Oh really?
You have a job for me. What's up?
- Oh, it's actually a
workspace that you pay for
- Where you pay us.
- What?
- I pay you to work for you?
- There might be good networking.
- Ooh
- You want to do a screenplay, or-
Actually, if you'd be interested
in being your own boss,
there is a whole system
in which you could.
- Sold.
- Excellent. Now, Pleasure
Putty is this incredible-
- All three of these guys
just zone right in on Riva
talking about Pleasure Putty.
- Skip's gonna look outside and just make
a perception check.
- Go for it.
- Yeah.
- Check out. Look, look for sandworms.
- Uh, 11.
- Sun's starting to rise a little bit.
- Let's get outta here.
I have a thing right now.
You know, I can just,
I don't need as much
sleep as I used to need.
So if you can set up the the controls
and like get us flying,
maybe I can oversee it
and everyone can get a long rest
'cause I can get one in like three hours.
- If you want to like slowly amble back
to arrive closer to noon so
everyone can get a long rest.
That's totally fine.
- Oh yeah!
- Ooh, that's nice!
- Final offer for Loose Duke,
would you like to swap a magnet
for one of your extensive
pieces of jewelry?
- Will you ferry us back to civilization-
- No.
- so that we're not trapped
in the desert?
- No.
- What? Are we just
gonna leave these guys?
- Why don't we just bring
them back and hold them down?
- Bring 'em back.
- And just make sure
they don't tell anyone.
- We tie 'em up in the ship somewhere.
- Oh yeah, in Marge's
old apartment, maybe.
- You got these three dudes hanging,
hanging back and you see
that all of them say,
as you finish your spiel,
they all say they're on board.
They cannot afford the signup fee to join
the even most basic
Pleasure Putty package.
- That's pathetic.
- Okay...
- So you guys arrived back in Baustin.
You got the case, you're- it sounds like
you're not doing mod stuff here.
So the Chesters, when you get back, stay.
- Whoo!
- I have a question.
- Okay, yeah.
- I understand why we wouldn't
want to do mod stuff here,
but we keep running into
just bad people everywhere.
Should we just take a beat
and try to get it done here
before we do this, we meet
the next Sheriff somewhere?
- Let's go to the junk
yard. We got big plans.
- Let's go to the junk,
yeah, let's swing by the
junk yard before we have-
- Maybe we can at least grab the stuff
and mod it somewhere else.
- Well, we were gonna hand it in
and then maybe take 'em out.
So why don't we just collect our reward
and then we can decide
if the time is right,
we spring.
- All right, let's do that.
- You don't think he's
gonna move that immediately?
- Do you think he's gonna
get rid of all that?
- Yeah.
- You know the amount that
even with Skiff Fest in town,
he's not gonna be, he
gets one of these re-ups
every nargon it's like a, it's
like a full month of stuff.
So it's not gonna disappear in two days.
- Let's go do it. Let's go hand
it off at the Lucky Bucket.
- Oh, oh Swallop's Slop and Gravy Bucket?
- Sloppy Bucket.
- So you guys roll up to
Swallop's Slop and Gravy Bucket.
You walk in, daytime is a
very different vibe here.
- Yeah.
- Way quieter.
And the place has a
lot of Deputies around.
You walk in and you see Sheriff
Warner looks up and says,
"Well, hey there, friends.
If it isn't the Wurst."
- And I give him the strongest handshake.
- Go ahead and give me persuasion?
- Okay...
I'll do. Can I do like a perception to see
what kind of weapons are
around on him and his crew?
- Go for it.
- Nat 20.
- Hell yes.
- A pretty, these are not standard issue
Deputies' weapons.
These are some pretty
souped up heavy blasters.
Looks like a lot of them
have grenades on them.
- All right, okay.
On an 11 persuasion, he
looks up at you and goes,
"Oh, hey there. Pleasure to meet you."
So, happy to see you have the case here.
You see that he motions
one of his deputies over.
deputy comes over, grabs the case,
which I assume again,
filled with the Kublacaine,
takes it, see he punches
in a code, opens up,
he takes out a little vibrating
sort of electricity switch blade.
"Aah. Always nice to
smell the real stuff."
Closes it, hands it off to
a deputy, looks up and says.
"Well, that's a job well done.
It's always nice to go
to the professionals."
5.000 Credits on Smash 'n
Grab and leave that there.
Let me just go ahead and see
your Proldier's Operating License.
- While this is happening, can
I sleight of hand his phone?
- Go ahead and give me
a sleight of hand check.
- Can I use Handy Annie to get advantage?
- You can get advantage
on the sleight of hand,
but I'm gonna ask for a
stealth roll for Handy Annie
here, as Handy Annie
like goes over to do it.
- I don't know what her stats
are. What is her stealth?
- Oh, it's like a familiar, such as plus,
I will say you see this burner
phone in the Sheriff's hand
and you see that clearly the reason he had
like a zero rating, brand new
account is just a burner thing.
So he is got this burner
like transponder in his hand.
- Okay.
- So you see, he says-
- I'm gonna see how this shakes out
before I try and get that.
- And you see it's got, so it's got
Smash 'n Grab open on it.
So he says, "if I can just see
your your Proldier's Operating License.
- Of course.
- Can I pull out just like a
wallet and use hallucination
on him and I'm gonna use heightened power
to give him disadvantage
on a wisdom saving throw.
- So 'cause we have a lot of
people making moves real quick,
As he says Proldier's Operating License,
This is AnarchEra.
There is no galactic
Proldier Operating License.
- Oh!
- No!
- In other words there is no, there's no
central enforcing authority.
So whatever he's talking about is local.
- Oh yeah, no he's trying
to like not pay us.
- Yeah.
- Obviously.
So we, yeah, think trying to hallucinate.
- Cool.
- But would that hallucinate?
No, we're just not-
- I don't know what it looks like,
so maybe I won't do that
'cause that seems like-
- Well, it doesn't matter, matter because
he's trying to, like, swindle.
- He's not gonna be like,
"Oh, that's what it is."
- How many guys are in here?
- We f*cked up, we should
have just f*cking left-
- Ah, so, there are probably about like
a dozen or more visible
that you can see in here.
- Can we communicate through eye contacts?
- You can actually talk to me psychically,
and I can talk to everybody else.
- I say, "Do we cut our
losses and walk?" to everyone?
And I ask everyone to a nod yes or no.
- I think the dude's talking to us, right.
So I think I'm just gonna say
our license isn't up to date.
The ad didn't mention anything.
- Oh, well that's a damn shame.
So your license isn't up to date.
Well, I'd be happy to do
you do your solid and-
- How much is the license?
- Well, normally it's about 3000 credits.
Expedited, so they can cover this job.
That'll be about 5.000 credit.
- Of course.
- That is so perfect.
- Can I cast buffer on myself?
- What's that then?
- Oh yeah. I'm just gonna battle pre-cog.
- Excuse me...
- Oh where, oh?
- Yeah, we're talking-
- What do you think, Skip?
- I got my Proldier's license right here.
- Raise my foot up, put it on his head
and I sh**t him in the head.
- Everybody, roll initiative!
- Goddammit.
That's all for this epi-
- NAT 20!
Yeah, naby!
That's all for this
episode of "Dimension 20:
A Starstruck Odyssey."
Tune in next week, as we have a showdown,
at Swallop's Slop and Gravy Bucket.
See ya in the stars!
First things first, the
Sheriff is going to go.
- I look at Marge and I just say,
don't let them scrap me for parts.
- I would never!
- Come on, f*cking miss.
f*cking absolutely miss.
- Oh...
- Sid's down!
- Just for the audience at home:
we haven't created secondary characters.
- You hear sirens in
town, everyone converging.
On Swallop's Slop and Gravy Bucket.
I think we've had our fun.
We need to get out of here.
- I'm always gonna be with you...
No matter where you are.
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13x07 - Dying Tomorrow, It's a Pleasure
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.