(epic adventure music)
(epic adventure music continues)
(epic adventure music continues)
(metal slicing)
(epic adventure music continues)
(epic adventure music continues)
- Hello everyone, and
welcome to episode two
of "The Ravening w*r"
here on Dimension 20.
I'm Matthew Mercer, your
humble dungeon master
for this short adventure
in the pre-established
and now chaotically
w*r-torn realm of Calorum.
I'd love to invite you to come along
with the rest of this journey with us
and say hello to our fantastic
Scrumptious Scoundrels.
Say hello, Scrumptious Scoundrels.
- [Players] Hello, Scrumptious Scoundrels.
- Are we doing a thing? sh*t.
- We're doing a thing. I guess so.
- [Lou] There's always a little of this.
- I did, I did. I failed-
- This is sort of self-soothing for me.
- To be pious around the Bulb.
- [Lou] Of course.
- It is important to look
up to its great light
as its cascades down upon you.
We have Anjali Bhimani,
Zac Oyama, Aabria Iyengar,
Brennan Lee Mulligan,
and Lou Wilson returning.
- [Aabria] Ooh!
(Anjali laughs)
- And I think with that,
let's go ahead and jump in.
(energetic adventure music)
As two years have passed since the events
that popped off,
(laughs) if you will,
in the town of Comida.
Vegetania having successfully pushed back
a disorganized Fructeran invasion
now turns and attacks
Ceresia to the north,
betraying their alliance.
Fructera reaches out to the Meat Lands
and forges a temporary
alliance of their own
by delivering some of the Dairy Islands
into Meat Land control.
These alliances now seem
to be swaying and shifting
with the very wind itself.
However, these wide bursts
of violence and aggression
have temporarily ceased in a
brief moment of quiet recovery
have temporarily ceased in a
brief moment of quiet recovery
where everyone waits
as the armies sit back
assuming new orders to come soon enough.
Tenuous diplomatic discourse
limps across country lines.
The entire continent of
Calorum is holdings its breath
for the next big move that
will surely break the stillness
and usher forth a new wave of bloodshed.
Now, in these two years,
Karna...
- Yeah.
- [Matt] What have you been doing
amidst this growing chaos,
this brimming bloodshed?
- Oh, Karna is just trying to get as close
to the would-be king Jacque Tomaté,
and if I can get into his retinue
and if we somehow pull off a victory,
I'll be set up for life.
- Okay, okay.
I'll say as far as that's concerned,
let's go ahead and do a
series of quick checks
to see how successful-
- Yeah!
- This journey is this thus far.
First off, go ahead and make
a deception check for me,
if you don't mind.
- Why? 17.
- [Matt] 17. Not terrible.
In the midst of the as*ault on Greenhold
and the chaos between the
Vegetanian and Fructeran armies,
the house that has come around Tomaté
and his claim to the throne
has been in partial disarray.
The people of Fructera
are still behind the claim
to the throne, but as what
happens as w*r continues
and losses begin to mount,
people of the populace
begin to see firsthand the cost of w*r,
and with that comes challenges, questions.
This gives you an opportune
time to begin to ask around,
make friends, and ingrain yourself
with some of the lower
echelons of the nobility there.
So you do manage to work
your way into some elements
of the Fructeran hierarchy, but
there is still much to climb
and Tomaté is still growing
more and more anxious,
more paranoid as he has triggered a w*r
that has now grown to a scale
I don't think even he anticipated.
And with that, he keeps his
many close friends very close.
Is there anything else
you wish to have seen?
What journey through this
has transformed Karna
in small or large ways?
Has she pretty much
remained a stagnant figure
climbing a ladder, or is
she coming into her own
as now a 16-year-old spymaster?
- Yeah, oh, goodness.
I think if there's anything
that she would try to spread,
that wherever she goes,
she's actively trying
to disrupt any sort of
like, Bulbian footholds
even to the death of
solace of the small folk
in this w*r, like, with
every bit of information
that comes in is, the Bulb
is letting this happen.
- Hm.
- Actually, I do have a question.
- [Matt] Yes, please. Ask your question.
- Can I get some information
on whatever's going on
with Colin and Deli?
- Make an investigation check for me
using your vast network of gatherers.
- Natural one. Why, why?
- [Lou] I will say, I would
have reached out to you.
I, in my head in two years,
I think our conversation
about me not being important
has consistently rung in my head
as being something that
I have moved from a place
of being like, Karna
did not know who I was
and that is not okay.
So I think I would have reached out to you
at least a couple of
times in these two years.
- Sweet.
- [Matt] Okay.
So right as you're about to
hit that frustrating point
of unable to really ascertain
more beyond just the title,
which, on a Northern Meat Lander
didn't seem to hold much weight
this further south in the continent,
but on that cusp, you were
reached out to by Delissandro.
- For a girl kind of reaching
the cusp of womanhood,
two years is enough to time to romanticize
a very small point in time,
and I think she considers
this like, group of
four people her true...
Five people. She wasn't including herself.
Her true friends and will
try to look out for them
as best she can with
information coming in and out.
- Okay. Trust, it always
works well for spymasters.
(Aabria groans nervously)
- Hey, baseline trust,
all right? Baseline trust.
- [Anjali] That's baseline trust.
- Do you move around or
is there a particular base
of operations you've taken
root in these two years?
These lands here between
Fructera and Vegetania
are quite tumultuous, and w*r
has pushed beyond both sides
of the border which means,
one, it is the center
of a lot of the important
facets of information you seek,
but it is also a dangerous place.
Where do you see yourself
holding up during this time?
- I think she would try to keep
to the like, borders in flux
where Fructera and Vegetania
have been in conflict
and probably landed in and
around Greenhold again.
- [Matt] All right.
- And stayed there.
- That is where you are currently set.
Shifting over in this two-year period,
speaking of the Thane
himself, Delissandro Katzon,
what have you been up
to in these two years
as w*r continues to grow and brim?
- Now, can I ask about the annexation
of the Dairy Islands to the Meat Lands?
Who is that from and
how was that presented
to the Meat Lands?
- [Matt] Indeed.
So the Meat Lands and the
Dairy Islands at this time
had tenuous relationships to begin with,
and then once this w*r began to break out,
moves were made upon the Dairy Islands
from some of the outskirt clans.
- [Lou] Mm-hmm.
- Even Carn itself
and the great Beef Lord
and Speaker of the Cow
came together and used this opportunity
to expand their influence as
well as to set a standard of,
do not touch our borders,
we will retaliate.
To middling and mixed success,
especially with the Ceresian border
growing more and more stressed.
Everyone seems to be pushing
towards opportunistic power grabs.
And while the various
clans of the Meat Lands
have long expressed
respect through aggression,
there are elements of political aggression
and subterfuge that have undermined
what they classically respected,
and this has put everyone
kind of on their back foot.
So while I would say the Beef
clan that you reside from
and that your mother is Chieftess of
has been mostly keeping an eye
and directly out of these matters
partially because she wants
the battle to come to her.
She doesn't like to travel to fight.
- [Lou] Yes.
- The home turf advantage
would be the best, however,
you understand more than she does,
if the shadow around grows too big,
even the homeland
advantage won't be enough.
- (chuckles) Definitely.
And so I think with that in
mind, and I think also these...
I think Deli leaves Comida
with the idea
that Karna presented of like, I don't,
you don't matter yet, but
then also being selected
and this idea that there
is greatness within me.
I think he does take that
as being like, I'm special
I think he does take that
as being like, I'm special
and I'm chosen and I
am going to go to Carn
and start just becoming just a warmonger.
I'm just banging my shield and saying
that it's us versus everyone else,
that the Ceresians see us as
the sh*t of the Great Beasts
and will use our bodies and our children
as fertilizer to grow their wheat fields.
And if we do not stand together,
if we do not unite, we will be overrun.
They will pick us off one by one
unless we find some way
to come together as one,
one unified Meat Lands ready
to take on all aggressors.
one unified Meat Lands ready
to take on all aggressors.
- These words ring true
to many of the people
across the many clans that comprise Carn
and the surrounding region.
You speak with a confidence
that most had not seen before,
which brings pride to
your mother and your clan.
A bit of a challenged tension
with Veyn, your brother.
- Yes.
- As well as a growing
cold standoffishness
with other equally ambitious thanes
and other hopeful future leaders
of the surrounding Meat Lands.
In trying to unify the
people, you begin to sense
you're unintentionally beginning
to push away the leaders.
- [Lou] Hm.
- [Matt] But isn't that what happens
when you have to ascend
to a place of power?
- Yeah, and I definitely also
think that I do it using...
Like, I'm not saying I should be...
I think I'm using my mother's name.
I'm saying that Cleva
Katzon should be protector
or defender, that that is
who we should rally behind.
That's kind of the angle.
Not so much, we need a king or someone
that we all need to bend the
knee to, but we need someone
who will lead us in the
fight that is to come,
and it should be her.
- Wonderful.
As the tensions beyond the
actual conflicts of w*r
socially begin to brim
between the competing
and debating Meat Land clans
and the neighboring Dairy
Islands which stand divided,
broken, and gifted across
political boundaries
that they had no say or
part in in these times,
let's go ahead and look over
to you, Colin Provolone.
- [Brennan And Aabria] Come on, Provolone!
- [Zac] Oh, Colin
Provolone's had a, you know,
a scary two years. (laughs)
I think he's not used to
anyone thinking about him
I think he's not used to
anyone thinking about him
and so it came as a
great shock that someone,
his sort of paranoid fear that someone
would know the secret about
him was actually true.
And I don't think Colin
has any real allegiance
or loyalty to the Dairy Islands
'cause that was kind of
what he was running from
when he joined forces with Deli.
So I think he's just gonna stick with Deli
and try his best to just
sort of latch onto this ship
and see where it goes while
protecting him as best he can
and seeing the power of the Meat Lands
and hoping that gives him some protection.
- Okay, and along this time,
too, as you're beginning
to invoke whispers of self-imposed titles
in an advancement
culturally from the society
that you grew up in, is
there a particular title
or position of prestige
that you begin to frame
or gift upon Colin, your
hired right hand man.
- Oh, God. There's a word.
I was reading a bunch
of Wikipedia articles
about Scottish tribes, there's like a...
Whatever the title for
wise man. Oh, what is it?
- There's a Nordic one, skald.
- We'll take it. Skald Provolone.
(Aabria and Anjali laughing)
- Skald Provolone.
- That's fine.
- I've never had a title before.
- And I think I try my best to use as much
of my mother's influence to suggest,
like, he's not my skald, he is her skald.
She has seen fit to bless
him with this title,
though I have doubt I've
ever asked for her approval
to do it but I'm just like, he's skald
of Chieftess Katzon's clan.
- There does come a time
where you've used this title
and introduced Colin as the
Skald Provolone in this space.
Never in her presence, again,
for not necessarily fear
but worry of her disapproval.
But towards the end of these two years
after a tense bit of conversation
with the Speaker of the Hen
and other various clan leaders in the area
in which a disagreement
over what the future
of the Meat Lands and its
current alliances might involve,
she heard you refer to him as Skald.
And in that pregnant silence
she looked over towards Provolone
and just gave a solemn nod
and then continued to walk.
- Wow! He cheers some meat.
(players laughing)
- As that's brimming up
in the northward realm,
we come back down to the Queen,
or now in a two-year period,
a title that has now
faded from recent memory,
the Lady Amangeaux.
What have you been up
to in these two years
while the conflict seems
to overshadow the worries
that you carried before it started?
- When all that went down in the hall,
we had to make a game-time
decision immediately
whether we were gonna stay in Fructera
or go back to Vegetania.
And I think strategically
she thought it wiser,
when she never thought it
would, she thought it wiser
to go back with the
Vegetanians and convince them
that I, at this point
now that we're at w*r,
I'm the closest thing you have
to someone who knows all
the things the king knew
'cause I was so close to him.
Anything he shared with me
is my knowledge. I can help.
I can share. I can be a
consigliere to anyone.
I can help everyone in the court.
Like, I have the knowledge that they need.
And so she went back to Vegetania
and stayed close with
the Bishop for safety
because she knew no one would move on him
in this particular time of need.
But while all this was happening,
I think she also, on the down low,
was sending messages to Karna
asking her to spread news
that not only was the
Duke Tomaté becoming more
and more powerful, but that it
would be a powerful alliance
if the Duke were to wed the former queen
and it would somehow smooth things over
between the two countries.
- All right, one, I would like you
to make a persuasion check
when it comes to your attempts
to sway the Vegetanian lords and ladies
to even begin to consider
these propositions
that you whisper amongst
the social circles.
- [Aabria] Oh, okay-
- Would it be possible for the...
- (laughs) Are you also gonna...
- Yes, help.
- [Brennan] Great minds!
- Lots of help, lots of
help! All the help, help!
- [Aabria] Can we all give
her Bardic Inspiration?
- Help.
- Help actions, Bardic,
take it all, take it all,
minuses to the lords.
- Can I guide myself?
- [Brennan] Minuses to the lords.
Minuses to the lords and ladies.
- Can I guide myself?
Can I phone a friend?
(cast laughing)
Okay, okay.
Mm, 19.
- 19 is commendable.
- (laughs) Oop.
- Mm, oh.
- That hurt my feelings.
- It needed be more in the
20s. Is that the reason why-
(Brennan whispering)
Oh wait, do I have a,
do I really do have a?
- I would give a, I
don't know if over time-
- [Anjali] Am I allowed?
- A Bardic Inspiration will-
- A Bardic Inspiration in this would not.
This is over a period of time,
a number of social encounters, parties.
- I just keep giving it,
Matt. I keep giving it.
- [Anjali] Well, what about like-
- I go to bed and I...
- Best of five then
if it's over time, right?
(cast laughing)
Like, I feel like a little advantage.
No, she has no advantage in
her life. She has no power.
- You do manage to bend the ear
of a number of Vegetanian nobles.
Lord Cabbage has no interest
in what you're peddling and-
- Clearly.
- In the moments
where you begin to host and gather,
especially along with the
aid of the Bishop Raphaniel,
a number of individuals that are kind of
the surrounding court of
the ascending House Cabbage
that is definitively hoping
to become the next king,
another figure begins to step
in and whisper counterclaims
or question the knowledge
that you may have had.
- Oh, this b*tch.
- [Matt] Lady Wedgla-
- God damn it!
- [Matt] of House Iceberg.
- Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm!
That God damn iceberg
lettuce. It is useless.
It is not a food! It's not a real thing!
- He's a leafy b*stard.
- It is a leafy piece of ice.
Sorry.
- [Matt] A long-time opportunist
and while the lady in waiting
to you for quite some time,
your friendship was
long based on necessity,
especially from her standpoint.
She had her uses, but she definitively
was a fair-weather
friend within the court.
And this is the first time
that she's openly begun
to contradict your claims
and begin to question
some of the things that you
spread amongst the populace
and has been making some
strong shoulder rubs
with House Cabbage as well,
and this causes continuous
tension and challenge.
Then when Greenhold is assaulted
by the Fructeran armies,
in the midst of this chaos,
do you stay within Greenhold
and buckle down or do you
shift your plan and tactic?
- Well, because I've
been in touch with Karna,
I wanna test the waters on like,
yo, is Duke Tomaté picking
up what I'm putting down?
Like, is he feeling the alliance?
Is there any sense that if
I were to go to Fructera
it would be safer than being here?
- Make a persuasion check for me, Karna.
And the strength of the rumors you spread
and the ability for you to reach the ears
of one extremely frazzled tomato.
- (laughs) 17.
- 17 is not bad.
I will say, the words come back.
The whispers of a
desperate political figure
seeking any opportunity to gain a foothold
in the middle of this ever-growing chaos,
his overwhelmed sense
conveys an interest
to at least converse.
- Okay.
I send you back a spark of hope.
If you can get to him, you could sway him.
- Oh...
All right, so...
Oh, does she? Trust is bad.
So I am going to put my
poorly-placed faith
in the Bishop and let him know.
We've spoken about this before,
and I truly believe that
this may be our only chance
not only for me to remain
some form of leader
in this country and the other,
but this may be my only
chance at survival.
I only have, you know, so many resources
as purely the Lady Amangeaux.
- Yes, well, Lady Wedgla has seen fit
to poison the garden of court with some
rather toxic rumors
that now grow like weeds
amongst the vegetables.
Lord Cabbage, I assume
given his advanced age
and the fact that I know
that he has children is wed
and his spouse is alive.
- Indeed.
And she is very much excited for the play
that her husband is making,
and you can already see
amongst their rather
inclusive social circle,
there is an air of her
preparing her posture
for the stately position
she very soon hopes to hold.
- Oh, f*ck.
- I'm happy to make a roll
to see if I can learn more about this.
- [Matt] What information are you seeking?
- The information I think I'm seeking is,
I'm trying to look at the
chess board in this pause.
You know, it's that thing of,
the tide has gone back out
and that can either mean
we're headed towards low tide
or it can be the water rushing out
before the next huge wave comes in.
And I think Raphaniel wants
to put a thumb on the scale
And I think Raphaniel wants
to put a thumb on the scale
of the big wave coming back.
- Okay.
- His assumption is that Amangeaux joining
Jacque Tomaté
emboldens the Fructerans to come back,
emboldens them to commit,
double down on the claim,
gives them extra legitimacy.
And if it feels like Cabbage
is very ascendant right now,
that would be Raphaniel's position.
But I'd also be happy if
there's any other information
I can glean about the chess board.
In other words, it feels
like the scales of the w*r
are balanced in a way
that provokes conflict
if Amangeaux goes to Fructera,
but I'm happy to roll
to see if that's an accurate read.
- Go ahead and make an investigation
or a persuasion check, your choice.
One of these is through research
and one of them is through a network.
- Let's do network.
That's a nat 20!
(players cheering)
For a 30.
- [Matt] What the f*ck?
- I swear to God I don't
actually know what's happening.
- Can we get some different dice box?
- [Anjali] Yeah, no.
- [Aabria] Yeah!
- That's perfect, that we love you.
We love you, little dice.
We love you, little dice.
You're saving my life. Thank you so much.
- I think I will eat my dice.
- [Matt] There you go.
- [Anjali] Oh, oh no!
- [Matt] Oh, now it's gone!
Now it's gone! You can't get it back.
Sorry, them's the rules.
So what is the grand
total of that natural 20?
- 30.
- [Aabria] (laughs) Oh my God.
- Oh, God bless you, I
love the Bishop so much.
- A combination of a lifetime
of subverting people's expectations
and assumptions of your
capabilities or ambitions
as well as a finely-tuned
network within the piety
of the Bulbian Church means
that you, with enough intent,
can very much briefly without
letting the mask slip a bit
put your fingers on the
pulse of the political circle
on the southern side of this continent.
And indeed, to correlate
what Karna has learned,
there is definitely a deep-set
panic in the Fructeran era.
They've made w*r with the South,
and that has spread to w*r
completely surrounding them.
And while it hasn't washed
entirely on their shore yet,
Tomaté is fighting with the ambition
and the fear every single day.
His inner circle is closing more and more.
Where once he was publicly speaking out
to the members of
Fructera and the populace
to rally behind him, more and more
he's sending out other denizens
to do the talking for him,
sending out missives
and pages and speakers
to talk on his behalf while
he holes up within Uvano
and Comida, depending on where
the current center structure
of the various noble houses are headed.
And you know that should
he take to his side
not just a partner which
would bring a united front
of political future, but one
who previously held the throne
and now holds not just
some alliances still
in the whispers of the
Vegetanian noble circles,
but many of the Fructerans
that have long been excited
now have been growing weary of the idea
of fighting for a
Fructeran king of Vegetania
to rise back up once more,
and indeed more blood
would be spilled across
these green, yellow, orange,
and multi-colored hills
and landscapes surrounding.
- Your majesty, you are
not safe in Greenhold.
- I never thought I was.
- Lettuce advanced rapidly.
The Lady Wedgla has done her deed
in the service of Cabbage
and his claim to the throne.
The time has come to act quickly.
If you have received word
from our friend, Ja'Cru Dite
in Fructera, I think the time has come
now that the Fructerans are close at hand
for you to return to your homeland.
A wedding between you
and the Count Tomaté,
you are still, though you
may not be referred to
by these rebel lords and ladies,
the monarch of Vegetania.
A wedding to Tomaté, whose
claim is the strongest,
I believe the Vegetanian people
would open their arms and hearts to you.
- If you believe it to be true,
then I am assuming the Great
Bulb above blesses it as well.
- The Bulb blesses all with
a good heart, and I know,
I know that that is who you are.
I give a little kiss.
- Will you help me?
- Of course.
- I need to find a way to get word
to the Count Tomaté to
meet me somewhere in secret
under guise of darkness.
- Well, I think it's only right
that some resources of the church see
that a grieving monarch
be given safe passage
along the Pilgrim's Road.
- Yes.
- We will escort you under the banner
of the Bulb above and none
may trouble or harm you.
- You did roll a 20 earlier for a full 30
on gathering information
about Tomaté and his status.
You will know that while
publicly it is spoken
that he is housed up in Uvano,
you do hear that he has been
intentionally misdirecting
to avoid assassination and laying low
within Comida once more.
- Something tells me that great things
are kept in store for
you from the Bulb above
should you return to Comida once more.
Go to your people, your
friends, your family,
those of your birthright.
I will see to it, I will reach
out to our mutual friend.
And again, you've been
in Greenhold, right?
- Yep.
- So I'm gonna say,
perhaps a guide on your journey to Comida
would be most advantageous.
- I believe that to be quite wise.
- I'll look to set up,
like, Karna helping abscond
with the Queen under the guise of pilgrims
so it's not like a big royal thing.
It's like, these are holy
people. Don't bother them.
We're gonna get the
Queen out of Vegetania.
And if I have any monks or
any other people I can send
that I happen to know are
a little bit more imposing.
- Indeed, well, with your
station it is easy enough
to acquire the means of travel,
the attire necessary to keep
them hidden and obscured,
as well as Sir Allium Goldring
is very much at your disposal.
The onion ring knight who has often done
some of the dirty work for you in the past
and has been a helpful, pious,
if occasionally troubled
figure here in Greenhold.
- We stray from time to
time, but we always return.
Sir Allium.
- Yes, of course.
Whatever you need of me,
Bishop, I'm at your disposal.
- Discretion, discretion
above all else, Sir Allium.
You are a formidable knight.
These pilgrims are to be
protected at all costs
not only in their physical
persons but in their identities.
I know that you will see
them safely to Comida.
And Sir Allium.
- Yes, Bishop, your eminence.
- No drinking, no pleasures
of the flesh on the journey.
- Yes, of course. I wouldn't
think of it, not with...
And you see he looks up and
even though you're indoors
he looks to where the Bulb might be
and there's a brief moment
where you see him like, flinch
like he's waiting for
something to crush him.
- This will not be an
occasion for weakness.
- No, no, I've learned from
my mistakes, your eminence.
I will ensure that they get there safely.
I will be at their beck
and call at their side.
And if anyone gets in the
way, I'll f*cking cut them up.
- (chuckles) Language in
the chapel, my dear boy.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry. (laughs)
(Anjali and Brennan laughing)
- Also, to run down the,
in terms of two years
just really quickly, first
thing I do getting back
from Comida is attend the
funeral of Madame Greenpatch.
I was very sad that she passed
right when I got back to Greenhold.
- Unfortunate, deeply.
- Unfortunate.
And I think I've spent two years
feverishly, manically searching
through church records
for the Fellowship of
Destiny's Architects.
Just, that is a monomania
of just feverish searching
for any hint or clue of them.
- I will say, because that is
your pretty much direct focus
these two years, make an
investigation check with advantage.
This represents the extent
of time you've spent
through the various tomes, scrolls,
and historical records
looking for anything.
- That is going to be a dirty 20.
- A dirty 20. Not bad, not bad.
You pore through everything
you can get your hands on.
And due to your station here in Vegetania,
you are able to gather
whatever is available
within the Bulbian Church's realm.
It does take time given the
current tumultuous state
of affairs, but there
is nothing that speaks
of the Fellowship of Destiny's Architects.
There are references to splinter
sects within the church.
There are references to historical saints
and would-be saints that have misused
or twisted the word of the Bulb
and were punished for
it, considered heretical.
There is speak of, you
know, the Prophidian Heresy
that at one point was
scattered from the holy tomes
and those who sought to spread the word
of that particular faith
burned at the stake.
There is speak of the Ramsian Doctrine,
which in its own right was a
terrifying thing to mention.
But it maintains historically kept
so as not to repeat such things
within and beyond the walls of the church.
And there are interesting
moments through Bulbian history.
Discussions of unspoken
allies within the church
that have orchestrated in
the light of the Great Bulb
important events, holy blessings
that sometimes cost the smallest
of terrible losses for the
greater good of the Bulb.
And it's interesting,
some of these passages
would be more elaborated on,
but as you glance within,
there's a page missing.
Another page missing later in the tome.
It looks like uncertain how
recent it may have been,
but elements of the
Bulbian Church's history
have been struck from the record.
- Just endless nights of like,
a sputtering green vegetable
oil candle as I like,
look at like, the rip of a missing page,
all the like, FDA stuff
all around me like,
unspoken allies, heretics.
I think behind me on my
shelf sort of stowed away
is my previous record of the genealogies
of noble houses of Vegetania.
And I've just like, sunk
deeper and deeper into this pit
of like, walking hidden within the church.
So very fascinating. Why
would you hide your face?
And in those two years, I think the other,
like, Amangeaux sending to Fructera,
I think Karna I would want to
set up over those two years,
though you're in Greenhold,
just like, in Comida
things that would give you
status if you needed it.
Like, church buildings
that the church sells
that are like, given to you and it's like,
oh, it's deeded over to you.
Like, you paid for it, like-
- Ooh.
- Things that are like, resources
for you to use in Comida.
If it's all right, I think I
would reach out to Deli as well
after our meeting and I would-
- I got a letter from that Bishop
who just happened to be there.
(cast laughing)
- I knew it was gonna f*cking come up.
- You know?
- I knew it was gonna f*cking come up.
- Find a way to bring it back up.
- Remember, I carried him, and
he just happened to be there.
- [Zac] He just had nothing
to do with anything.
- Yeah, and he said the Bulb
is gonna protect us and all of that.
He sent me a letter. Isn't that nice?
- Uh, yeah. It's nice.
- The letter is a glowing appreciation
of your calls for unity,
and I think I send you...
Would I know if Deli is Bulbian or not?
- I think based, I think the
general vibe you would get
is that he's not.
- He's not.
So I appreciate your calls for unity
in these troubled times.
The bloodshed breaks the
heart of all good people
of all creeds and walks of life.
And I will share some of
the most touching parables
and epistles from the Book of Leaves
that have to do with unity
and the uniting of people.
And I think over the course of two years,
if I get any responses
to those first forays.
- Mm.
- After a year or two
it would start to go, the
clans of the Meat Lands
struggle and strife, and unity,
my mind dwells on unity.
We long for stories to share
and for songs and prayers
that can unite a disparate people.
It is my hope that if there
is any aid I could lend you
that the Meat Lands might
find a common song to sing.
- Ooh! That's cool. (laughs)
- Wonderful, and these
are, you assume received
across the way, but in
the long, dark nights
that you've spent poring over your tomes,
letting the candle eventually
wither into shadow around you,
the visions still occasionally return.
(sinister music)
Darkness.
Whirring, strange reflective teeth.
The sound of a high-pitched
whining scream,
grinding lower and lower.
Blood, viscera, tearing of flesh.
Nothing, darkness, flesh, shadow.
- (clears throat) Yes, hm.
(Aabria and Anjali laughing)
- Don't like it. I don't like it.
- You good, Zac?
- No.
- I didn't like the thing, the...
(cast laughing)
- Sound, the sound, the sound.
- I think after the
first of those visions,
all of my notes, all of
like, the things to Deli,
the things to Karna,
protecting the Queen I think,
and all of this stuff about the FDA,
I pull one scroll of vegetable parchment
written on celery skin and look at it
and go, come on, Provolone.
And there's just a big question
mark under Colin Provolone.
- He did it.
- Come on, Provolone, come on.
- Just are off like, and
where do you come from?
And where are you going,
little cheese knight?
- Somewhere in the Meat Lands,
Colin Provolone goes. (shudders)
(cast laughing)
- Colin, are you all right?
- Yeah, it's just sort of a
wave of nausea and creeps.
Just, let's fight something.
(cast laughing)
- You, over there!
(cast laughing)
(Zac mimics blow landing)
- Before we, like, if
we're gonna leave and go,
I do want to get into
the palace in Greenhold
one good time.
- Certainly, certainly.
- And take someone off the
map to present to Tomaté.
- Okay, who do you wish
to take off the map?
- I think very specifically
kind of sidestepping,
no offense, you, I'm
gonna go to the Bishop
and have one last meeting as
we're setting everything up-
- [Matt] All right.
- To get her out.
- As you kind of step into
the cathedral here, you watch
as the onion ring knight himself
sits there, fully armored
and is taking the hand
and kissing the ring
on the Bishop's hand
before like, clasping it.
I'll make you proud. Don't worry.
- I know you will, Sir
Allium. You always do.
- Thank you, thank you.
And he stands up and (inhales
and exhales) turns around
and doesn't even give you
the time of day as he exits.
- I just spit behind him as I walk in.
Hi.
- Who do I see walking in?
- You would see a like,
Brussels sprout washer woman
that I assume fairly
regularly when we talk
by the name of Gemma.
- Gemma!
Please, come sit in prayer with me.
Telepathically, good to see you again.
- (groans) Why is it always in here?
It's good to see you.
- Stepping into this cathedral
as you cross the threshold
and begin to step towards the Bishop,
you can't help but sense that discomfort
that hits you even walking
by one of these holy sites,
but stepping here within
the Bulbian light,
the multicolored beams that
pour through the stained glass
as they touch the outside of your skin,
you can't help but feel that
growl deep within your torso.
(creepy growl resounds)
- I think you see her
Disguise Self flicker
between Gemma and then
like, a 16-year-old Karna
that looks a little more
like, hale and well-fed.
And then the other, her true self
where she still looks
small and half-starved
and even more ragged than
when we met two years ago.
And then it kind of comes back to Gemma.
- Can I do a little insight?
- [Matt] Yes, you may.
- Please don't roll another natural 20.
- That's gonna be an 18.
- 22.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- [Matt] Okay.
- [Aabria] I'm ready to go.
We'll head to Comida, but
I need something from you.
- What can I offer you?
Do you need more resources
awaiting you in Comida?
- No, you've been
incredibly generous, Bishop.
Thank you,
but he's worried.
I've been trying to bolster
his flagging ambitions,
but if I could present
him with a chess piece
or at least the head of one,
I think he will be emboldened
to move on Greenhold and not hide anymore.
- Many interesting options, certainly.
There is of course the
wife of Lord Cabbage
which opens up some interesting in-roads
in the endgame of all this.
- Hm.
- But not enough,
probably, of a w*r trophy.
You're probably looking for someone clad
in armor, I would imagine.
I wanna think about
someone that satisfies,
that actually does
satisfy what Karna needs,
which is a big trophy to bring to Tomaté
to get into his good graces.
But if I've got a couple options
given the broadness of that category,
I think I'd like to pick someone
that's been a problem for the church.
- [Matt] Okay.
- Oh.
- Interesting, one particular
figure crosses your mind
that is one of the few moments
that Venn diagram crosses.
Sir Drunon, the well-known
hero of the recent battle
at Greenhold where the
Fructeran armies were sent back.
This massive, arrogant eggplant knight,
(Brennan and Aabria laughing)
his purple skin tinged with scars
that have healed over with a
sickly gray-white coloration
has been known, one, to be predisposed
with less holy hobbies
outside of times of w*r
and unnecessarily cruel in times of them.
The church, at least
those in your vicinity,
have been told upon high,
the king in the past
and the current noble
houses around House Cabbage
to turn away from some of
his less savory hobbies
in hopes of keeping this powerful ally
and figurehead of danger and violence
should one cross the Vegetanian power.
Also happens to be resting on his laurels
during this brief period of time
and has been spending his days
and nights drinking heavily
within some of the local taverns,
gallivanting around with wh*res
and often found bludgeoning
and leaving bloodied figures
that look at him wrong
and leaving for the houses
to clean up in his wake.
A truly terrible, terrible man.
A useful one for some
time, but a terrible one.
[Matt] The church doesn't like him.
Some of the figures he's
had to deal with in the past
at the behest of the king happened
to have been useful chess pieces
on the church's board in
its planned expansion.
So, you figure there won't be
too many who would miss him,
but those were were driven from Greenhold
would certainly not be against
him being laid before them.
- Sir Drunon, as of
this most recent battle
has become something of a national hero.
- Hm, okay.
- Vegetania doesn't need heroes.
- Can I make an insight check on him?
- [Matt] Yes, you may.
What are you looking for?
- I just want to know where
he goes when he thinks
because there is that sense of like,
you have your like, very kindly persona,
but we've spoken frankly many times.
- Yeah, I'm speaking telepathically
in your head right now.
- [Aabria] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, for sure.
- So yeah, go ahead and make
a persuasion or deception
based on what you're trying to convey.
- All right, 23.
- 25.
- Every time!
(Matt laughing)
He's fine and this is fine
- [Matt] Hard blank to read.
He looks like he's staring
off in the distance,
just caught in thought.
- Can I make an insight
to see if what I said
made you curious about me?
- [Aabria] Oh, for sure.
- [Matt] Yeah, all right.
So deception versus...
- [Brennan] Ooh, I don't make it.
- Yeah, 21.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Two walls.
- [Aabria] Yes, nothing!
- Facing and probing but showing nothing
here in the midst of the cathedral.
- The perfect people to trust for me.
- Oh, totally.
- [Anjali] I love them.
- I'll look up at you, and
this I'll actually speak
with my voice and say, (chuckles)
heroes give people pride.
Pride on the story of their
homeland, where they are from,
legends that make them stand tall.
Pride is the opposite of
humility and obeisance.
- Hm.
(clears throat) Well,
Bishop, do you not then think
when all of this fighting is done,
will they remember you as a hero?
- I would prefer not to be remembered.
- Hm, okay.
Will you meet us or will you stay here?
- If I can. It is a long journey
and I am no spring chicken.
- Blessings of the Bulb
be upon you, then sir.
(growling resounds)
- Are you good?
- I think you actually see,
like, under the Disguise Self
she's beginning to like, kind of slaver
and is trying to cover
it with illusion magic
that just like, when your
mouth fills with spit
before you throw up.
- Ew.
- In that moment, I'll do
a little Subtle Spell Detect Thoughts.
- [Matt] Sure. I'd also like
you to make a religion check.
- Yeah, I'll do that, too.
14?
- 14, okay.
I mean, in the long, grand history
since the Book of Leaves
was introduced into Calorum
and the Bulbian Church has
been continuously spreading
its faith and joy and love
in the Great Bulb above,
where there is light there is shadow,
a very well-known shadow,
though mostly scattered
to the far edges of where
most choose not to look.
You've seen these sort
of reactions before,
usually in moments before their
heads left their shoulders
or the flames took their body.
- So you're gonna reach
in with a little...
- No probing. Just surface thoughts.
- Okay, you get nothing as my magic item
refuses divination magic.
(Matt chuckles)
- Absence, void, discomforting
given the circumstance
but oddly comforting given
some of the dreams you've had.
- Hm.
We should see that you are fed
and have something to drink
before you head out on
your next expedition.
- Thank you so much. Please let me go now.
She just gets up and hauls a*s out.
- All righty, we're gonna
hold on that narrative
for just a moment as we
come back to the Meat Lands.
A recent blowout of arguments,
charges of traitorship,
of individuals turning
against their own common man
has send a recent clan
gathering scattered across Carn
and some of the nearby smaller villages.
As you return frustrated
with Colin assembling in behind you,
probably spending the time in the midst
of these deep political
interest just doing what?
- Gonna get that guy.
(Aabria and Brennan laugh)
And if he comes for
Deli, then I'm gonna try
to break his neck.
(Lou chuckling)
Tumble over Deli's back.
Just imagining sort of
like, a full combat.
Like, it's not scary
when it doesn't involve
someone spotlighting Colin directly.
(cast laughing)
And I think he's just sort
of thinking about that, yeah.
- All right, as it breaks free
and you storm back to your abode,
there awaits you something
you've been thinking
of for quite some time
with both excitement and
a bit of trepidation.
A scroll with a wax seal of two hands
and a quill.
(players gasping)
- I think, Colin, Colin!
And I think I turn and hold it up to him.
(Zac grunts)
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- No, I'm not...
(players laughing)
Just dust your shoulders off.
- It's the Fellowship.
They're calling for us.
- Do I see one for me as
well or do I only see?
- [Matt] No, just for him,
but you're only in his room.
- Yeah. What does it say?
- I'm gonna, in a way that hopefully
doesn't feel too offensive,
I think, turn to open it
just in case there's anything,
any contents that maybe I
wouldn't want Colin to see.
- Understood. You just tilt the page.
- Oh yeah. Oh, oh, it's a scroll, yeah.
So yeah, then I don't turn it.
Yeah, I tilt the page just a little bit.
- It reads, in the passing of time
our labors continue to bear
fruit under the Bulb's guidance.
The next phase approaches.
We call for you in this
time of ripe opportunity.
- Oh!
- Beneath the pyramid on
the sixth day of Frostdusk
in the year of our Bulb
1190, the loss of the few
shall be the salvation of the many.
In its light, bring him.
- Colin, I need you to find us a ship.
We need to get to Comida immediately.
- Understood.
Colin is now...
Should I check to see if I got one?
- Sure, mine ends with "bring him."
- Bring him?
- I'm assuming you're him.
- Well, I hope so. (laughs)
- Is there anyone else
I think him could be?
- Um, not really.
- Yeah, I think it's you.
(cast laughing)
- No roll necessary.
- [Matt] No, no, I mean,
in the time that's transpired, like,
you could maybe put a play for like,
I don't know, Sirley Haig.
- [Lou] Yeah.
- But given the context
of how you met the FDA
and the fact that Colin has pretty much
been your right hand
man these past two years
through most of your business-
- Skald.
- It's a very narrow choice.
- Skald, skald.
- Skald.
- Skald.
- So I assume Colin
hasn't told you the complexity
of his secret, probably, and
probably doesn't know your...
Or, I don't know. What do you think?
- I think if we had gotten drunk one night
and talked about the FDA, I
definitely would have told you
that I was romantically
entangled with someone
who I shouldn't be, and that
that's what, I found it.
That was what my assurance was.
And I guess I probably
would have looked at you
and wondered what yours was,
but I don't think I would have pressed.
I wouldn't have been like,
I told you, you tell me.
- I think it might make our
relationship simpler if I don't.
But I think some people
want to find out who I am or where I am.
- And people from the Dairy Islands or?
- Yeah, but I don't think we should...
- [Lou] Is it someone you k*lled?
- No, I don't think I
even really did anything.
- Well, if you ever want
to divulge it, I'm...
If simple has always been
how we've kept things...
- And I think that's best, but...
I guess Colin is gonna
probably look around his room
and not find a scroll.
- He does find one and
he opens it and it reads,
we gave one to Deli already.
Just have him...
(Lou laughing)
Have him read it for you.
- [Aabria] Hurts that they spent time...
- [Lou] Just a massive font.
- [Anjali] They wrote that.
- [Matt] Yeah. (laughs)
- Seems like enough font
to fill the page, yeah.
- [Matt] Same presentation.
- Yeah, it just says, ditto.
- Yeah.
- I got one, too.
(cast laughing)
- Glad they didn't leave you out.
Anyway, we have to get,
we should get going.
- Put mine in my pocket, too.
(cast laughing)
- [Aabria] God!
- Easy enough given the prestige
at the side of the Thane and
his recent continuous rise
to acquisition a ship
and commandeer a path
across the Yogurt Shoals, the
Pulp Bay back the same path
that you took previously
and eventually heading
towards the city of Comida.
Back to the Greenhold crew, I'll say.
Any other business you wish to button up
before you make your journey westward?
- Oh, should I bring? No,
I can't bring Chutney.
I'll have to leave her here
'cause no one can know I've left.
I want to send a missive through Karna.
- [Matt] Okay.
- With her little spy people.
- They're called seeds.
- [Anjali] They're called seeds.
- Mm-hmm.
- Your little seeds.
I'd like you to plant some seeds
or at least dig up some seeds or whatever.
I don't know what the
word is that you use.
It's fancy spy stuff.
And send it to a particular
very simple home in Comida,
an address you, doesn't
seem remarkable in any way
and send a message saying,
I'll be there soon.
Prepare him for a visit.
- Okay.
(sighs) I absolutely do it.
Sure, never asked a question
before. I won't start now.
- Thank you, good friend.
- [Anjali] And then that's it, just-
- [Matt] All right.
- Making sure all my stuff is in order.
- Raphaniel, anything you need to?
You mentioned about possibly dealing
with a certain eggplant.
How do you intend to do so if at all?
- Well yeah, I think I give...
I think I just, Karna's
basically like, I need a name.
And I'm like, hey, free
dead guy. Okay, yeah.
That's free real estate. So
I think I don't follow...
- You don't follow that
thread. That's fully on you.
- I'm gonna fully, because I
think it's the kind of thing
where so much can go
wrong in things like that
that the fact that
Karna's primary motivation
is getting a win for Tomaté, like,
I wanna stay as far away
from that as possible.
- Fair enough.
- Where it's like,
oh, if that goes wrong
and Tomaté takes the L
rather than the church, fine.
- Okay, well then that point,
what is your plan of action
to acquire this gift if you choose to?
- So from what I know of him,
and he's outside of the castle walls
and drinks and wh*res around the city?
- [Matt] He has been recently, yeah.
In bursts.
- Yeah.
- He cleans up when it comes
to time of coming combat,
but between he definitely leans
into his more baser instincts.
- Sweet, then I wanna wait
until like, last possible moment
right before we leave to go catch him
in a house of ill repute.
- Okay, and that is not difficult to do.
You've established a strong
network here in Greenhold,
and you have almost by the 10 minute mark
of his arrival at such an establishment
immediate notification
that he is indisposed.
- Perfect.
(epic adventure music)
Then I'm going to go up to
wherever this is and look...
Yeah, we'll just go full invisibility.
Let's slip in and I want to
catch him in flagrante delicto
and just make it quick and clean.
- [Matt] All right, with a rapid-
- What's that mean?
- In flagrante delicto
means while they're f*ck'.
- Oh, okay. Is it Latin or Greek?
- I think it's Latin.
- Okay.
- It could be Italian.
- Great, thank you.
- In flagrante delicto.
- That's fun.
(cast laughing)
- What are you guys talking about?
(cast laughing)
- Why is Colin here?
(cast laughing)
- Provolone! (claps)
- Just bleeding raclette out of my nose.
- Colin, you're a
planeswalker? Is that why?
(cast laughing)
- [Brennan] At the end of this
campaign you fully transit.
- [Anjali] There's the secret.
- [Brennan] Open a portal.
(cast laughing)
- Quick and easy.
His arrogance has always probably
going to be his downfall,
and as distracted as he
is, the blade slips quick.
The capsaicin burns the throat
where his vitae spills across his chest.
He can't scream as he
grasps at his throat.
And the woman that he's
currently with begins to scream
and scream as he falls back.
The last thing he sees before
his eyes dull is this child.
- (shushes) We are all eventual food
in the maw of the Hungry One.
And I wanna flick the knife
and catch the woman against the wall, too.
(Matt mimics knife slamming)
(Matt gurgles and coughs)
I'm sorry, but we are all eventual waste.
- The poor, sallow snowpea of a woman
just drifts away against the wall.
- And I will take my knife
back, clean Reaper off
and like, sort of overwhelmed
with a new burning itch
across my like, neck and chest,
slowly, carefully take down,
like, the careful robes
I have wrapped across
where a new like, rotten
spot on her body is
and begin to carve it away.
(viscous goo squelching)
(Brennan gasps in horror)
(Matt chuckles devilishly)
- Y'all freaks.
(Brennan and Matt laughing)
- [Brennan] You just made a nice sandwich.
- [Lou] Yeah, we're
just having a fun time.
- Yeah, you having a good time?
- Wow!
- Let's get on a boat and hang out.
- Yeah, we're drinking
beers, getting into fights.
Y'all cutting yourselves
up and k*lling snowpeas.
- I bet everybody else is being regular.
- [Lou] Yeah, exactly. Just like us.
- I'm like, just regular
degular, you know?
- [Anjali] Whatever, whatever, whatever.
- And take a little bit of the snowpea
and a little bit of this
unfortunate eggplant knight
and burn them in offering
to the Hungry One
and then take his head.
- [Matt] All right. (chuckles)
(Brennan chuckles darkly)
You take the head. Are
you burning the bodies?
Or are you just burning a
bit of them as an offering?
- I was burning a bit of them.
- [Matt] Okay.
- And myself as an offering,
but I need the head to show.
- Indeed, I would say
you take the head first,
take the pieces of them to burn later
because you do know that the commotion
of her brief scream is
gonna call attention soon.
- Well, I was hoping, you
know. Lots of people screaming.
I don't know the difference
in kinds of screaming
'cause I don't f*ck.
- (laughs) That's valid.
But the person who would run
an establishment like this
very much knows that difference.
- sh*t, okay.
- So you head out
and do hear the secondary
scream echo from the top
as you disappear into the nearby alleys,
head tucked under your cloak.
Burn your offering in one
of your many safe spaces
across the nearby village
and then make your way
to gather at the carriage that awaits you
with the outfit that you've been provided
by the Bishop himself.
Now Bishop, anything
else you need to handle
before you wish to shove off as well?
- I'm going to, I think
I'm gonna follow the Queen.
This was not the original plan,
but I think I'm gonna
follow the Queen and Karna
to Comida as a way to cover
a little bit of business
in Brightgarden on the way.
- Okay.
- With the death of this knight
and the fact that I know that this like,
imminent marriage is on the way,
I wanna drive a spike into
kind of the proto, like,
into the thing that gets
under Raphaniel's skin
is this burgeoning Vegetanian nationalism.
This idea of like, civic pride
which Raphaniel finds loathsome.
So I think that it's a spreading
through church channels
always ringing the sort of
bell of like, an end to w*r.
An end to bloodshed. An end to like...
Basically painting the
lords of this new ascendant,
like, Vegetanian rebel court as like,
we still have a monarch.
It's still the Lady Amangeaux.
This is a love of bloodshed,
and this knight's just been m*rder*d
in a house of ill repute,
and this was the person you
called a hero of the battle?
And I think spreading through
that area as well this idea of
had you knelt your head to the
laws of the church
and like, saw fit to
include the Lady Amangeaux,
we would not have returned
an incredibly beloved
Fructeran noble to Tomaté
in his hour of needing to unify Fructera.
So in other words, it's not
like a pro-Amangeaux like
what a great lady.
It's like, you're bad at politics, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- You just helped unify Fructera
because you scared the Queen away.
That's the last thing
I kick up in Greenhold
before I head off with these
guys down the Pilgrim's Road.
- [Aabria] Yeah!
- As you begin to...
Or you finish establishing these phrases,
and the word begins to
spread across the village
of the fall of this knight.
You gather to the carriage
which itself immediately set
at the front is like,
thinly trimmed celery chunks
are affixed to the side of
this beautiful carriage,
not unlike the one that
you took to Comida,
but this one has a distinctly
Bulbian Church aesthetic.
It is meant to put off the
visual of religious neutrality
as it travels across these
tested land divisions.
As you all step in with what you need,
your various adornments dressed upon you,
there awaits a scroll
on the seat before you.
- [Lou] Hm.
- Just one?
- [Matt] Just one.
- [Anjali] What?
- Scroll for you two?
(Anjali laughing)
- I like information.
- So you're reading through.
The three of you gather fortuitously.
- Damn.
(Anjali gasps)
(cast laughing)
- Ooh, you puckered all three
in just like four words.
- I'm looking through the
boxes. I'm like, looking out.
- You glance around.
There's nobody else around.
You don't know who set this out for you.
And when you approached the carriage
it was already there and waiting.
(Zac laughs)
And it continues in unison
to the one you found.
In the passing of time,
our labors continue
to bear visible fruit
under the Bulb's guidance.
The next phase approaches.
We call for you in this
time of ripe opportunity
beneath the pyramid on
the sixth day of Frostdusk
in the year of Bulb 1190.
Continue the path you take.
We'll join and discuss soon.
There is much work to be done.
- [Anjali] Okay.
- I roll it up
and I put it in my jacket pocket.
- Wait a minute, so I just
want to clock, even though,
and I'm gonna say this in her head,
I think we finally have proof
that he didn't just follow
me out of the FDA meeting.
He didn't just like, find
that I left the castle.
He didn't just show up, come running out.
We finally have a little bit of proof.
- Did you spend two years thinking that?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I just wanted the proof.
- I guess they must have included me
'cause I stumbled into that first-
- Stop it! She just yells.
No, I wanna roll a thing again, yeah.
- [Lou] No!
- I wanna roll again.
- What are you trying to roll?
- That's what you know!
- What are you rolling?
- I wanna know this. I
rolled a natural two.
I never, I can never believe you.
- I'm gonna Subtle Spell
Enhance Ability, roll deception.
Okay, that's a nine, and that's a 17, 27.
- I hate it. Let me be very clear.
- [Anjali] Did you? Yeah.
- I think he's clean.
(cast laughing)
He is fine and this is fine.
- I guess they, yeah, I
guess I got grandfathered in
'cause I stumbled into that first meeting.
Wild. Anyway...
(cast laughing)
- The carriage begins to take
off along the Pilgrim's Road
to pass through Brightgarden
and to eventually find
its destination in Comida
to both wherever this
missive is pulling you
for a reunion of sorts and
the political interests
that originally drew you there.
We come back to the Meat Land duo.
As you have gathered your
materials and are ready to leave,
you take what you have
from within your hut,
gear yourself up for a long journey,
head outside to meet Colin
and there you see the tall,
muscular form of Sirley
kind of glancing over.
Thane, it is, what, what?
I was coming to ask you
if you were not busy
for lunch we could have together.
What are you, where are you going?
You look like you're ready to head out.
- Oh, Skald Provolone and I
have been called.
- Skald. (laughs) Pretty cool, huh?
- It is very cool. I love it.
- We've been called to a meeting
with potential allies.
- Can I ask you who you're
going to talk to? (laughs)
- It's actually best that you not know.
- Oh, okay. And we grew
up together, right?
You know, we tell each other everything.
I told you the first
time that I, you know...
I'm still waiting to hear
about your story. (laughs)
- Well, it's on the horizon.
I've heard, actually, from Skald Colin
that if you, it's waiting
is actually really,
it's really, it makes it better.
(players laughing)
- Yeah, yeah.
It's awesome to not f*ck, yeah.
So, we gotta get out of here, I think.
- But no, Sirley, it's...
I put my hand on his shoulder.
- He looks to you, to be
honest, you're not missing much.
- Oh my.
(players laughing)
- Deli fully like, forgets the mission.
Wait, what, what? It's not everything...
- It's much shorter and messier
than they tell it's supposed
to be, and honestly,
depending on how the
circumstances work out,
you might end up regretting
it for a very, very long time.
- But what if you do it like,
right as the sun is rising
and you can kind of feel the wind-
- It's very cold and you
have very little clothing!
- Oh, well...
- Look, make of it what you are.
I don't want to stomp on your parade.
- No, of course, no.
- But, I just,
it's important to set
a bar of expectation.
- [Lou] Yes.
- Sometimes it's not so much big-style.
It's very small-style.
(Anjali laughing)
- Colin's whole perception
of the Meat Lands
has just like, done a
little bit of a shift.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
(cast laughing)
- Huh...
- So you tell me you've been
slammed down both big-style
and like, medium-style and small-style.
- There's a lot of styles, and some...
(sighs) Look, we're getting away from-
- Sorry, yes.
- It's okay.
And I apologize this, we haven't had a lot
of conversations together.
This is-
- Not a lot, no.
- Putting a very, I think
this might be the first time
we've really had more than
a few words between us.
- Really just basically
the second sentence
I've heard you say.
(Aabria chuckling)
- Well, I feel bonded.
- Yeah, well, good luck with that.
(Brennan laughing)
Good luck and hope you find
what you're looking
for in that department.
- Thank you. One day.
(players laughing)
Kind of wipes his nose and
looks off into the horizon.
But I digress, you are heading off.
Look, you know I keep secrets
very well. I have not...
- Can I make an insight check?
- [Matt] Sure, sure.
- [Aabria] Please, please.
- That is a 13.
- You get the sense there is not any sort
of mischief behind him.
More than a friendly
curiosity to have someone
who they've known for some
time to be on their way out,
and especially with all the
things that are happening,
kind of get the friendly down-low,
but that's about the
most you can ascertain
of his current demeanor.
- Sirley, these are big,
important figures
that we're talking to.
- Really?
- [Lou] Yes.
- Oh.
- We're headed south for a time.
I hope you will be able to keep Veyn
and some of the others in
check until I get back.
I mean, based on how things are going,
I can't imagine much will
get done while we're gone,
but it is important work we're doing.
- Make a persuasion check.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
(die taps table)
- It's probably good, right?
Probably is like a 20.
(energy powers down)
(players laughing)
- Okay, with your kind of
arms clasped around each other
on the shoulders, he kind
of looks you in the eye
in that kind of like nod and smile.
Kind of falls a little
bit. Right, of course.
Of course, no, I am extremely excited
for all of the great things you're doing
and the wheeling and
dealing that you have done
even when we were down in
the Fructeran areas before.
Okay, then I will keep this between us.
- Yes, thank you.
- And when you come back,
just tell me how it went.
- You'll be the first to know.
- Well, travel safe.
- Thank you, friend.
- You as well, Thane, Skald.
- Yes.
- Hm.
Lifts his chest out and
(exhales) wanders off
into one of the nearby fields
and just begins dancing amongst. (laughs)
- Oh my God!
- What?
- Wow.
- I love him.
- You're telling me that guy
thinks sex isn't that great?
- It just seems like that
would be his identity, right?
(players laughing)
- I think if he's dancing,
like, that confidence must...
(Lou sighs)
- Is it not a...
On the road we'll talk about it.
- [Lou] We'll talk about it on the road.
- As you all begin to convene
towards the center of this continent
to the familiar city of
Comida, you said you wanted
to pass through
Brightgarden for something.
What were you looking to do, Raphaniel?
- Just briefly, as we pass
through the holy city of Brightgarden,
I just want to alert a
member of my network,
Sister Ryely Underbake, who is a member
of a cloistered order there
and just talk about damage
to some holy texts that
I've been reviewing
and seeing if she can dig into the history
of how that damage
might have come to pass.
- She's immediately upset at the visual,
and you can see as the
like, cluster of kale
with the heavy spectacles
that sits in her bright
kind of curling if wrinkled-lipped
smile pushes through
turns into a deep frown.
Oh, that's not good at all.
That's not good at all.
Oh, that's quite a troublesome
thing. (stammers in dismay)
- Oh, Sister, Sister, quiet your nerves.
I understand.
(Matt whimpers)
These books hold the holy
truth of the Bulb's scripture,
but that truth cannot be altered
by the vandalism of these texts,
merely our ability to understand it.
This wrong may be righted in
time, but we must see to it
that we understand how
these harms came to pass.
And more specifically,
who might have been responsible for them.
- Of course, of course, Bishop.
I'll look into it immediately.
- Thank you, Sister.
I know that your expansive
knowledge of these holy texts
will prove exemplary and more than useful.
Thank you so much.
- Of course.
Travel safe and I will see to
the retribution immediately.
And she walks past you
and as you begin to step
to rejoin your troop you hear the sounds
of self-flagellation
echoing down the hall.
(whip cracking)
(players groan)
- All right, off we go.
(whip cracking echoes distantly)
- What am I hearing?
- Hm?
- What is that sound?
- [Brennan] That sound?
- [Aabria] Mm-hmm.
- Uh, atonement.
(whip cracking and Bulb-fearing
sobbing echo unsettlingly)
- Y'all hit people?
- Well, the person you're
hearing hits themselves.
- On purpose?
- We all have ways of making things right.
And though this might
not make sense to you,
I think that in many ways
to be born into this world
of leaf and meat, bread and sweets,
of fruit and milk is to inherit pain.
Pain is the fundamental
gift of this world.
It is only in the world that comes after
that we can be free from it.
- Huh.
Yeah...
- A comforting thought.
- Yes, shall we.
(Aabria groans)
- Heading back to the
road, you travel northward
from Brightgarden, crossing the threshold
into the familiar cherried
lands of Fructera.
The skyline of Comida greeting you
as you come in the midst of night.
The missive that you were given,
the day of its arrival
but one day before you.
Across the other side of
the city, the two of you
have arrived but two days
beforehand from your journey
and have found a place to hole
up in the interim, laying low
and trying to scout out and wait
until the time you've
been called is right.
You quickly head through the
shadowed streets of Comida
under the guise of night.
Are you maintaining your
provided Bulbian attire here
in the center?
- How of the, like how...
- I will say the Bulbian
Church isn't entirely popular
right now in the Fructeran side of this.
- Yeah, I feel like I would have asked.
Part of the package is
I would have asked her.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- For some kind
of lowly Fructeran garb
that no one would notice.
Like, just completely
like, blah, blah. Frumpy.
- All right, I would like a stealth check
as you move through the
streets towards this-
- No, you wouldn't. (laughs)
You really wouldn't like that.
- Can I provide her advantage?
- [Anjali] Oh, okay.
- 'Cause I want to follow
and also cover her trail.
- Very much so 'cause you
know the city very well.
I mean, you can give her advantage
or you could both roll
individually, up to you.
- I don't want her to
know that I'm following,
but I'm also trying to
like, keep people like,
it's that sort of like
walking around someone
while they're moving.
- [Matt] I see, I see.
- And try to keep a fade off of her.
- [Matt] I'll allow it so
advantage, free to roll.
- My first roll is a 24.
- [Matt] Okay.
Out of the gate, not bad.
- And a natural 20 so that's a 27.
- Yeah!
- [Matt] What is on this table?
- Yeah!
- [Matt] Okay.
- [Brennan] Wild.
- I told you-
- It's good here.
- It's that die
and it's your die and your dies.
It's not my die.
(cast laughing)
- Also not my die.
- Unseen.
Now, royals and individuals
who grow up in nobility,
especially in the young teenage years
learn very quickly how to not be noticed
when they filter themselves
through the open streets of a city.
And with that, you are genuinely
impressed with her ability
to leap between the unseen
narrows of this city
through its alleys and the dark corners.
And you do your best to
help aid where you can
until eventually you come
upon a very simple exterior
almost like a light tan
painted imported wax wood
from the northern kind
of Yogurt Shoals region,
and it looks like it's
faded with time a bit
and been painted over
again then faded again
then painted over again
and then eventually now
it's just kind of taken this odd pale,
somewhat cracking exterior.
It kind of blends in with the rest
of the riff-raff neighborhood.
But it's there before you.
- Before I do anything I
want to do a perception check
to see if there's anything diff,
if there's any signs there
that say "don't come in,"
if there's any people around
me watching before I go in.
- Go and roll the dice.
(die taps table)
- 15.
- 15, looks as clear as it is.
Your last time in Comida
was during a celebration,
and you were worried for
the same rise in energy,
but at this time of night
it's fairly calm and quiet.
And you hear the distant conversations
and occasional footsteps
of people wandering
through the town, but
you're fairly confident
you're not being followed or seen.
- Right, so I rap on the door three times.
(knocking wood)
And then I wait.
- You hear, (mimics latch
clicking and sliding)
the sliding of some sort of a brace
on the other side of the door.
- And then I say something in a language
that no one's ever heard me speak before.
I'm here.
(Matt mimics door clicking
and squeaking open)
- The door opens.
You see a cloaked older
kind of pomegranate woman
withered slightly but with a warm smile
kind of just looks over and nods.
- And I slip in.
- Am I able to get eyes on her?
Like, I was trying to follow and watch
as much of this interaction as possible.
- You definitely get eyes on the figure.
If you want to make a perception check
to see how much detail you
pick up from this entity.
- Come on, all right. 15.
- 15, yeah, I'd say it's low light,
but when the door opens up,
you don't make out the
specific details, but you catch
it is feminine form and
the kind of hood is up
and leads her inside.
- All right.
- Close the door behind us and latch it.
- (mimics latches clicking)
You slide it back over.
The old woman kind of looks
to you and gives a nod
and gestures across the
way to a small crib.
(tender music)
- I walk over to the crib and,
swaddled in a small blanket
of grapevines and leaves
is a tiny wine grape.
A tiny, little wine grape.
He's dark, dark, dark, dark.
Almost like a mix of maroon and blue,
but it's got little flecks
of the same kind of flecks
that she has on her own skin.
And she (exhales deeply) huge exhale.
(inhales softly) There
you are. You're safe.
You're safe, little man. Has anybody come?
- No, I've been very careful.
- I don't know how to thank you.
- You've done much for
my family in the past.
- Well, anything you continue to need,
I'm sure you can find a
way to get word to me.
- I will. I am forever with du Peche.
And whatever du Peche needs, I follow.
- Thank you so much.
I just pick him up and just
hold him for a little bit.
(Matt coos like a baby)
- Oh, oh, oh. (shushes)
(Matt cries weakly)
- Oh, my little one, I'll
be back for you someday.
I promise I'll be back for you someday.
(Matt mimics barfing)
Oh.
(Aabria and Brennan laughing)
That's all right. I'll take
you with me this way, yes.
Then I put him back down in
the crib and take something
and wipe off the little
bit of burp throw up
that's on my shoulder and slip out.
- All right, you see her
exit and begin to return
to where you had set up for the evening.
- Since I didn't see in the
room, can I clock the like,
sort of daubed vomit
stains on the shoulder?
- Make a renewed perception
check as she emerges.
- Can I make a deception?
Can't really 'cause I'm not even trying.
- [Matt] Not really, you're not-
- Dirty 20.
- Dirty 20.
You spent your early life
specifically seeking out changes
in the environment, changes
in people's physicality,
changes in their dress,
changes in their expression.
These micro-adjustments
in the world tell more
than people ever give
credence and credit towards.
And indeed, as she walks out,
you do see her first just gesture for it
kind just like an
additional secondary wipe.
And as you look there is
a bit of a kind of a milky
kind of brown-ish stain on the shoulder.
- It confirmed her suspicion,
and she'll let you pass
and head back, and I'm going to go up
to a couple street urchins,
kids that she was six years ago
and set them to watching this
house and reporting anything.
I want all patterns.
This is the most important bit of news
I've had in a long time.
- Okay, very well.
Any other business
before the next day's
evening comes to pass?
- I think I have something I wanna do.
- [Matt] Yes, Colin.
- We got here a little earlier than them.
- [Matt] You did.
- I think that the night
that we're supposed to meet,
I think Colin's gonna go to the docks
into like the shipping yard,
wherever that may be in town.
- [Matt] Yeah, yeah.
- And see if he can find someone
who is in charge of like,
putting crates on
different ships and things.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- And try to get a crate
sent out that night
back towards Carn or the
Dairy Islands, probably Carn.
And then also secure a crate
going towards the Frucian Road
the next night at midnight
and then... (laughs)
Just trying to set up a
couple of escape options.
- [Matt] Gotcha, gotcha.
- For like-
- That's so smart.
- Like three nights
or whatever I can afford.
- [Anjali] Smart of you.
- Okay, okay-
- [Brennan] Sick.
That's really sick.
- Do you have specifics
as to what are in these crates?
- I think I'm getting empty crates
and just asking them to send
them on these specific dates.
- Gotcha, gotcha.
- And then we'll come back if,
you know, if anyone needs to.
- If we need to hop in a crate
you know?
- [Zac] Yeah.
- Good to know. Good to know.
Okay, easy enough to set up.
You find a gentleman
named Ludos Whitespear
who is kind of the dockmaster
on the western side
of Comida, kind of long asparagus spears
that kind of cut off at odd angles
and comes to like this kind
of like (puffs air) at the top
as he kind of looks over to you
with this kind of stern expression.
Yeah, don't worry.
We'll make sure that it's
all sent out for you.
- Thank you, and that's why,
hey, you guys do great work here.
- Oh, thank you. Thank you.
- I give him a little tip.
Just throw a few more.
- Ooh, oh, thanks, you're very kind.
- What do you call that?
- Oh, this? Eczema.
(players laughing)
- Okay, it looks awesome.
(Brennan laughing)
- You're Dairy Island, right?
- I am from, originally.
- I was adopted there,
grew up there.
- Oh.
- [Matt] That's where I got the accent.
- Oh.
- Most folks just look at me
strange since I moved here,
but you know, it's good work.
- I hear you.
I mean, I'm not trying to go
back there anytime soon myself.
- What do you do? You look
like you got some station, huh?
- Oh, I just, (sighs) you know...
I'm good at watching people's backs.
- Huh, okay, okay. Is
there good money in that?
- Pretty good.
- Okay, okay.
- Do you want a job?
(players laughing)
- I mean, um...
I tell you what, I've been
doing this dockmaster thing
for about 20 years and
it's not really panning out
the way I thought it would so, you know.
I was talking to a friend
the other day and he's like,
"It's never too late to change paths."
- Well, yeah. I believe that.
So maybe in the next couple
days if you, you know,
let's see how this shipping situation goes
and then maybe we'll
come back to each other.
- Okay. Make a persuasion check.
- Let's see how this negative
two persuasion roll goes.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- That's a four on the
die so that's a two.
- [Anjali] Oh, baby.
- He's already like, set up
the crates and everything.
He gives you a look and
there's this sense of like,
oh, maybe he doesn't look quite
as cool as I thought he did.
(laughs) He's like, oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
I'm gonna take-
- Or whatever, yeah.
- It's fine. It's
already set up, you know?
- Okay, great.
- It's my business.
Thanks for chatting.
- Yeah, awesome.
Keep being cool over here.
- [Matt] Yeah, thanks for the coin.
- Yeah. I throw him one
more coin and just run away.
- Ow!
(players laughing)
- I shouldn't have thrown it so...
(cast laughing)
- So you alleviate yourself
from the awkward dock situation.
- I think if we got in two days early,
I would have used the first day.
I feel like I would have
tried to send a missive
to any of the Fructerans that recognized
the Meat Lands' ownership of
that Dairy Islands territory
if any of them are in Comida
and would be willing to meet with me.
As Thane of the Beef Clan I
think I would have reached out
to attempt any sort of meeting.
- Okay, the missives have been sent.
You're uncertain how soon
you'll receive a response,
if you do, but you feel confident at least
you've brought them to the
doorstep of the intended parties.
- Great.
- And then within a short time,
the sixth day of Frostdusk
and the following evening
comes to bear.
And as you all slowly begin to arrive
at the familiar exterior of
the Great Pyramid of Food,
a construction halted in the midst
of the current conflicts and tension,
many of the workers
sent to the front lines,
conscripted into the armies.
You see some familiar
faces who you couldn't help
but wonder if they were going to show up.
- Oh, Queen Amangeaux.
- Thane.
- Glad to see you're healthy and well.
- And you as well. It's a lovely night.
- [Lou] Yes.
Karna.
- Oh, Thane.
And Karna regrets how much
she's blushing right now.
- (laughs gregariously) It's good to...
I was gonna ask if you've uh...
Did you hear anything about me?
- I have. (clears throat)
They say that you are making enemies
in your efforts to unite the Meat Lands.
- It comes with the territory.
- The ones out here respect your vision.
- Well, I'm glad people have heard
what we're trying to accomplish.
- I'm Skald now.
(players chuckle)
- What does that mean?
- It's a title.
- Skald, Co, uh...
- Skald Provolone.
He's an advisor.
- [Zac] So...
- Nice.
- Kind of we're all
important I guess, so...
- I just wanna perception
check see if I clock her like,
(giggles) her little girlish...
- That's more of an insight check.
- [Anjali] Oh, sorry, yes.
- [Matt] Yeah, make an insight check.
- [Lou] Can I also make an
insight check for blush?
(Aabria laughing)
- [Matt] Yes, you may.
- It's a natural 20!
- Amazing.
(Anjali laughing)
- What the f*ck?
- [Anjali] It's a 24! (laughs)
- I got a six.
- [Matt] Okay.
- I'll throw one out there.
- You know what? I don't want.
Can I choose to fail the roll?
- Oh, it was almost-
- [Matt] Sure.
- It almost was a 20.
- Yeah why did I roll?
- You were so close.
- Yeah, there you go.
- [Anjali] It really was!
- Yeah, you pick up on it a little bit.
You definitely pick up on it.
- Yeah, I'm like-
- [Zac] 17.
- So I'm just gonna-
- [Matt] You pick up on it as well.
- Pop that in my pocket for
later like, I'm pleased.
I think it's sweet.
- Also pocket it.
- [Anjali] It's very sweet.
- Chest puffs out even more.
- All right, it's around the jovial, still
unique regathering
of this troop that the
blue flame flickers on
from the base of the
pyramid, sways once more.
(Lou grunts)
(players laughing)
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.
- Have you not been getting my letters?
- I have.
- Ooh, wonderful.
- So have you been, did you
happen to also be here or...
- I got grandfathered in.
- [Zac] Grandfathered in.
- I got grandfathered in from the last one
because I stumbled in on the last one
and I think they were just being sweet.
- Yeah, and they're
probably the kind of kind-
- I wanna roll again about
it! I won't but I wanna.
- [Lou] This seems like the kind
of organization that would be
kind of, just, you know.
- They were just being sweet, I'm hearing.
- Yes, congenial, you
know? They don't wanna...
- Well, it would feel
weird 'cause they sort of,
I know I sort of crashed
the party the last time,
but I think they would
feel bad excluding me.
- We're all so excited
about what we're doing.
- Yeah, very excited.
(players laughing)
Very thrilled to find
out what we're here for.
- But it's very good to see you again.
- Good to see you.
- I've heard that,
as Karna said here, you're
making some important enemies.
Many very blessed people
who acted in the name of the
Bulb made powerful enemies.
It's one way to know
you're on the right path.
- That's what it feels like.
- Well, if there's ever
any help that myself
or Mother Church can be,
you need only let us know.
- I appreciate the kind
words in your letters,
and it is understood.
Perhaps a day may come.
- Ah, well,
the day always comes
anew with each morning.
- Bishop Charlock, in your arms
this was the moment Karna went,
I'm gonna k*ll that Bishop.
(cast laughing)
- Shall we?
I'm excited to see what our
friends have in store for us.
And I start walking down the stairs.
- All right, steps below the
pyramid. (mimics steps tapping)
To the familiar under-crypt-like basement
beneath the Great Pyramid of Food.
Here these familiar halls that
have kind of haunted your memory
over these past years,
distractions keeping you
from looking back to
your initial gathering
now begin to burble up from within.
The sconce lights guide you
no longer towards that pit
where you were looked down from above
but instead to an already waiting troop
of about 10 cloaked figures, masked
that all stand about 30 feet from you
in a different part of the chamber,
arms open in a quiet invitational pose.
(Aabria groans nervously)
- Hello?
(cast chuckling)
- Architects, good evening.
It is a pleasure to see you again.
- We welcome you once more,
will of the Architects.
Here we stand now on equal footing.
Another voice from the other
back side of the troupe,
a shorter one kind of glances up.
And lo, you see the many years
of toil are bearing fruit.
Another one in the troupe.
In these tumultuous times,
opportunity shall bloom
and ignorance shall spoil the
cycle of the bloody harvest.
We'll safeguard our world
from the shadow of eternal torment.
Anybody here have a passive
perception of 18 or higher?
- I do.
- No!
- You have passive perception of 18?
- I have passive perception of 19.
- [Matt] Okay.
- Okay.
- There is a shadowed
figure away from the troupe,
just kind of leaning against a pillar
to the left of where you're all standing.
They continue speaking.
We know what lies beyond
the veil of the book,
and the truth that so
many choose not to see.
Many bury the truth as a
heresy, and in doing so
march Calorum into the fires of darkness.
We will not allow this!
- Bloody harvest...
Can I just, this is a very cool vibe.
Does this feel familiar at all?
Like, are they referencing
anything specific?
- I kinda want to make a
religion check too, yeah.
- [Anjali] Yeah, same
thing. Religion check.
- Make a religion check if you'd like.
(eerie music)
(dice tapping table)
- [Anjali] It wouldn't
by any chance be history.
- [Aabria] You guys are bad now.
- [Lou] Can I make a history-
- This is more religion-specific.
Okay, you know what?
No, make a history check.
It just has a higher DC.
- Oh, okay, well, my
history check is a 19.
- [Matt] Okay.
- Could I make a perception
check at the guy,
whatever the person is further away
that you were talking earlier?
- I'll say because you are a bodyguard
that would be specifically on guard,
I'll let you roll to see if you see them
as opposed to just a
passive perception so.
- I see, sorry.
- [Matt] No, it's all good.
But this is your job
and it's been for years.
- [Anjali] Man.
- I mean...
- It keeps coming so close on that die.
- This guy's, you're retired.
- Put him in jail.
(cast laughing)
- Over here.
- Use a new one. This swirly die is fine.
- That's a 10.
- A 10. No, seems clear.
Not much out there.
- Okay.
- They continue, you were
friends to the Architects,
and this search helped guide
the fate of all of Calorum.
A crucial stage in our plot approaches.
We have word of a dangerous
untenable political operative
soon moves incognito from
the northeast direction
of Ceresia by way of the
Glucian Road seeking to unravel
this carefully engineered
stage of our design.
Another voice comes in
from within the crowd.
Our agents surmise about three days
before they arrive in Uvano.
We cannot allow that to happen.
One of the smaller, thin
ones kind of leans up.
You must prepare.
You must find a proper place
to ambush this operative and slay them.
(eerie music)
There's a pause. Will you do this?
- Ooh...
- It will be done!
(Anjali stammers)
- Oh, yeah.
- Just hang on a moment.
- Yeah, yeah. We're good, I'm in.
- Who is the operative?
- We know not just what they intend to do.
We know they move incognito
under the guise of Fructeran
movement and banner.
- Is there a reason that we
specifically must do this?
- Because we must not get involved.
We succeed by staying unseen.
And you've all shown
skill, wit, and capability
so we've chosen you as we've chosen
others in the past.
- Does it have to be all of us?
I only ask because some
of us are more capable
and other of us are...
Have other strengths that aren't...
I carry him down here.
- Well, you know-
- [Aabria] Jealous.
- You know, if you're going
to set a trap, ambush,
then it's helpful to have bait.
Perhaps I may not be a scrapper,
but I could perhaps waylay
or otherwise stall or delay.
I would hate to not be of use given
that our estimable friends,
the Architects of Destiny,
have seen fit to gift
us this important task.
- Hm, maybe that's why they included you.
- Because I'm so very helpful.
- Another voice comes
from behind once more.
Cunning is useful in all of its wisdom.
What one lacks in strength of sword
they make up for in laying
out the plan to use it.
You've all been chosen
because your capabilities
when rightfully applied create
an unstoppable force
for what we need done.
- We've all been chosen?
- There's kind of an awkward silence
and some of the masks look at each other.
Well, yeah, well, it's what we...
It's why we brought you all here.
I mean, you didn't just walk
in. We specifically chose you.
Why? Is this question-
- You chose all of us?
- Yes, all five of you.
- Is there like a
grandfathering situation or?
- No, that would be
ridiculous. We work undercover.
This is extreme, like,
extremely stealthy. We-
- That's what we thought.
That's what we thought.
- Nobody should know about this.
Like, to be honest, if
any of you said anything
you would be immediately assassinated.
Like, this is extremely low-level.
You've all been brought here
because we think, we believe-
- I hope you're all very proud.
I hope you'll all really proud.
You found your way there,
didn't you? (laughs)
- Would you all, would you assassinate us?
(Matt chuckles sinisterly)
You think you can k*ll all five of us?
- We don't need to.
- Okay, I don't know what
that means, but it was scary.
I'm down with-
- I'm ready.
- Thane, we're doing, it's fine.
- One of the figures on
the side of the group,
you can see this kind of hood
that's over a triangle-shaped head.
The mask itself is kind
of a larger oblong one.
Goes, you'll need to
be outfitted properly,
and throws something that
clatters to the ground
in front of you. (mimics
metallic object clattering)
You look to see a long, thin blade
of a semi-translucent shining metal.
You know this immediately
to be a watersteel dagger.
(players gasp)
- Ooh!
- Oh, I've always wanted
one. I always wanted one!
- [Brennan] Oh sh*t!
- Yeah, let's go!
- Oh my goodness, you lucky dog.
- Can I make a check for the person
that seemed like they
were from the Dairy Isles
to see if for whatever reason
I'd recognize their shape or?
- Make a perception check.
(die taps table)
- [Aabria] Bro, you squinting?
- Okay, there we go.
- Yeah, all right, okay, okay, good.
There you go, there you go, there you go.
- That's a dirty 20.
- Yeah!
- Yo, let's go! (claps)
- A dirty 20.
We have a plus 15 roll first.
- You definitively clock them
as a Dairy Islands individual,
but then you begin to look and notice
like around the edges of the
mask, not quite fully dairy.
There are pocks of meat in there as well.
In fact, this may be a slice of pizza.
- (laughs) Sorry-
- Oh my goodness.
- This is a border folk.
This is somebody who
dallies between the islands
and the Meat Lands themselves.
- A little pizzeria in there.
- Okay, I think Colin just nods at that
and thinks about it some more.
- Can I check out the
sus person in the back
that I saw before?
Is there anything else I
can perceive about them?
- You glance over in that
direction and as you do,
another voice, a familiar
voice you've heard a few times
here comes in, leave no witnesses.
Return in success and
we will guide your path
through this w*r to greater heights.
Return in success and perhaps
we will share with you our grand vision.
Fail and we cannot protect
you from the violence to come.
But to aid you in this trek,
we send you with another ally,
a proven friend to our
cause time and time again.
And they all turn and extend their hand
in the direction of the shadowed figure
who steps away leaning from the pillar
and begins to walk into the
firelight. (mimics footsteps)
You see a barrel-chested
immediately rough-and-tumble-looking man.
Thick, muscular body under dark gray
and brown leather armor.
Big gauntlets, a thick reeded cloak
that kind of falls behind
the back and drags,
stained with mud and dirt.
There atop the breastplate
that sits upon his chest
you see this tangled mass of
lumpy egg, spinach, and bacon
and this terrifying
grimace as his eyes peek
from this thick furrowed greasy brow.
This is Darren "Dishless" Quichéi.
(players laughing)
A storied mercenary and one to ensure
you find your target
and return unscathed.
You know very well who this is.
You've heard stories
of the many individuals
who've lost their lives
at the blade of "Dishless" La Quichéi.
You've watched as he's walked through town
and others step away from his gait.
But he's also kind of a cool
guy. Like, he's kinda chill.
He hangs out and he talks
with folks, and you know he's,
just a little party
'cause always kinda wanted
to like, share a drink with him.
He seems pretty cool.
- f*ck, he's cool.
- Yeah, he seems f*cking cool as sh*t.
- He is.
- [Lou] This guy f*ck.
- (laughs) This guy f*ck.
- All right f*ck,
guess I'm coming with you.
(players laughing)
- Damn it.
- Hell yes, dude.
- Did he just call a queen a f*ck?
- [Zac] I like this guy.
- [Brennan] Oh yeah,
this guy's really cool.
- [Zac] I think he did.
- I think you just called
a queen a f*ck.
- Not directly. It was
more of a communal...
And you're not really queen
anymore, let's be real.
(players laughing)
- This guy.
- [Matt] Respectfully.
- Gives no f*ck!
- Dishless, I don't know. I like it.
- So we doing this?
- Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah, we're doing this.
- Yes, we're doing this.
- Great.
I'll tell you the plan on
the way. We got how many?
And a voice goes, three days.
Three days, we gotta hustle. Come on.
- I'm gonna turn as we're
leaving under the pyramid
and look at everyone and
sort of smile and go,
I can't help but feel
that this is as much about
us, as it is about the
plan, don't you think?
- How do you mean?
- How does this organization
recruit new members?
- Oh.
- Hm.
- [Aabria] Oh.
- Or perhaps that's simply
where my mind wanders.
It's a fascinating thing, I think, sending
all of us to engage in
these clandestine affairs.
I'm certainly not the most
dangerous man in Calorum.
(whip cracks)
(Aabria coughing)
But I am a man, as I think
all of us fellow Calorans,
somehow under their thumb, these
strange masked individuals.
I want to take those masks off.
- So do I.
- Mm!
- I want one, really.
- Yeah, I want to take
it off and put it on me.
- Oh, well, then, okay.
Yeah, that's the goal.
- That was just the understanding there.
- [Lou] Yeah, great, yes.
- We had the understanding.
That was what we were both talking about.
- Yes, yes, yes, you get it.
How do I get a...
- Yeah.
- How do I get a little blue lantern?
- Right, where are we headed?
- Right, so here's the plan.
(dramatic adventure music)
Here we are in Comida.
This individual has been
traveling from this direction
by way of the outset of
Candia and Ceresia, I believe.
They're expecting to come
down the Glucian Road
to go ahead and head over to Uvano.
If we can stop them just
north of the crossroads
somewhere in that vicinity,
I think we can do so
with the least amount of eyes
catching up on what our plan is.
- How far is that from Castle Candy?
- That's a day and a
half, two days' travel.
Why? Are you wanting to go there first?
- No, I just wanted to make
sure there weren't any,
I don't know, if an
envoy happened to leave
at the same time or-
- We'll keep an eye out.
We wanna get there early
and try to set this up,
make sure we got a good plan.
- They're cowards. They'll
stay in their castle.
(Matt chuckles)
- Where do we anticipate being
the best place to strike?
It seems the advantages
that our coterie possesses
is our ability to seem
unlike a band of brigands
or highwaymen, that we might
set this envoy at ease.
I am a man of the cloth.
We have with us nobility of the Meat Lands
and of Fructera and Vegetania.
Where do you see this
trap being set, Dishless?
- Hm, I got a few different ideas.
You see, a bit north of
that crossroads over there
is an area where a great juice river winds
through the strawberry grass fields.
There's a valley, tall orange hills.
That bridge that crosses that river,
not only is the surrounding landscape
only a handful of farm estates,
that bridge is a particular pinch point
depending on how they travel,
whether it by beastfruit of burden or
carriage, wagon,
size large or small, there's only so much
that can cross that bridge at once.
And if they're coming in three days
and we can get there in two,
that gives us time to set up in advance.
- And is the goal simply to k*ll them?
- Leave no witnesses.
(Lou chuckles confidently)
Are you new to this?
- No, of course not!
- Good, we've all got
our hands a bit bloodied.
I can see it in all of
your eyes, all of 'em.
I feel confident. You've all got a twitch.
- Hm.
- [Matt] Good, you'll need it.
- Can I insight check this
guy? He trusts us right away.
- Yeah, make an insight check.
- [Aabria] I don't like him.
- [Lou] Oh, we know what Dishless did.
- Every f*cking time I roll bad.
Nevermind, it's fine. It's a 10.
- There's a confidence
to him that upsets you,
that offsets you, and for a
person who is this accomplished,
not just, you know, known
somewhat through the world
but to be working with this
group of people so clandestine,
there's gotta be layers
to what he's putting on.
- Yeah.
- I'll do a little Subtle
Spell Detect Thoughts
on dude as well and just say,
so, how did you first come
to find gainful employment working
for the Fellowship?
- Oh, it's not gainful.
Once every blue moon or
so they come calling.
I've been doing it for
about 15 years off and on.
Sometimes I just show
up to a place, lie down,
and there's just a f*cking
note waiting for me.
- You have a point of contact
that reaches out to you
or are they just anyone
with a mask that'll...
- That's the funny thing about them.
They change out whenever we meet.
There's more than just the
ones here. They're all over.
Based on my monitors, at least 30 or so.
- Do I get any surface
thoughts in any of this?
- The surface thoughts you get are him
kind of recollecting
memories of inopportune times
that he received this
and went, "Oh, f*ck!"
But then you also see images
of him counting his change.
You also see images of him
being graciously awarded
with fine weaponry and entry to places
he previously did not have access to.
You get the sense he's not in this
for the moralistic imperative or the
grand idea of salvation
and safeguarding the
future of Calorum's people.
He's in it for the money.
- Very well, well, bridge,
maybe I can fallen down
in the middle of the bridge and
need help picking myself up.
- There's that possibility.
Perhaps we could have
broken down somewhere.
- [Brennan] Oh.
- Is there a way to take out,
no, don't take out the bridge.
- Well, aren't they
pretending to be Fructerans?
- Yes.
- You're trying to throw
yourself in with them.
I think just you seeing the signs
of a friendly face might be enough.
- Perhaps it's me fleeing Vegetania
and I'm seeking asylum
with the Fructerans.
I and my trusted advisor, the Bishop.
- Yes, well, I've been traveling with you
because I'm your trusted advisor.
- [Anjali] Right.
- Yes.
- Yes, yes, indeed, and
then we'll set upon them
starting with you?
- I mean, I'll tell you,
once Colin gets his eyes
on this location, he's
gonna have 1,000 ideas.
- I'm gonna have so many
ideas once we get there, yeah.
I think we can plan all we want right now,
but we won't really know
until we see the place.
- A strategist, eh? Huh, I like him.
A little piece of egg kinda...
(egg splatters)
- I reach down to pick it up.
- [Anjali] I think you dropped-
- No, don't touch it!
- [Lou] Okay, all right.
(Aabria laughing)
- That's wrong.
- I like to sorta plan
these things out in my head,
but I don't know. (laughs)
It's maybe one of the
few things I'm good at.
- Good, good. Now, let's be honest.
I know you don't like
having a chaperone around.
I don't like having to play parent
to this little endeavor, but
they really want this done.
They feel like this is a
significant threat here
with some sort of importance
that this individual's trying
to bring to f*ck up
what they've been doing.
And I wanna make sure that
we're all sort of, you know,
doing our best to make it work.
So we do this, we get done, we come back,
then all seems to be working out fine.
Take our charge, take our coin,
and I guess they wanna
show you some other stuff.
- Right.
- Works for me.
- Well, yes, let's do it.
- [Aabria] We doing this?
- All right.
- But, uh...
- As we exit can I fall
in line alongside Colin?
I guess I'm waiting for a moment
where I don't think Dishless
will be able to hear our conversation
so if that's not now, I can hold off.
- I will say, as you all kind of,
you don't all go to the
same place and hang out.
He's like, all right, take a night's rest.
We'll go ahead and gather your things.
We'll head off first thing at Bulblight.
Make sure that we can get there
with enough time to really,
you know, (pounds fist)
make this sh*t work, eh?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you're so excited.
- Well, I've been itching for
something interesting and fun.
Kinda sucks just being on
retainer for a while, you know?
- Mm-hmm, fair.
- Cool, I'm gonna go
and get myself a drink.
See you in the morning.
- [Lou] In the morning.
- Well, he's a character.
Are we staying in the same place?
- I mean, I don't...
- I don't think you guys, I don't think...
- [Zac] Do we have, could we-
- We should stay together.
- Oh.
- For safety reasons.
- Yeah, but I think
that's a wonderful idea.
- It's such a good idea.
- Hang on...
- It's a fantastic idea.
- We actually already
have accommodations and...
- There's accommodations,
they're under whose name?
- I think, Skald, you...
- I did make them, yeah.
- So probably, probably
that's completely compromised.
(pensive music)
- Mm.
- There's an argument
there for that, yeah.
- Yes. (sighs) Colin Provolone.
(pensive music continues)
- Uh, yeah, hey. I think I...
- That's very interesting.
No, just I've...
Sorry, but yes, you should stay with us.
I'm just interested, just, you know,
in corresponding with the Thane
and of course I know our friend
Karna and Queen Amangeaux.
- Sorry, I'm not like an attention guy.
I don't really know...
- And then there's Colin Provolone.
- [Aabria] Hm...
- So this is, I'm sweating.
I'm immediately sweating.
- And I immediately feel badly for him
because I've never seen my two friends,
like, they're grilling a poor young man.
- I'm not, no. Far be it from
me to make fondue, I don't.
- I just, I simply... (laughs)
(Brennan laughing)
- What is your story?
- Oh my.
- I'm just a bodyguard.
- Well, perhaps we'll do it over a meal.
- Yes, a meal.
- Karna, could you find us-
- Yeah, what?
- Accommodations under,
perhaps, a different name?
Somewhere that they wouldn't
necessarily be looking for us.
- I have a safehouse if you
wanna just come to my safehouse.
- Let's do that.
You know, she's a very
resourceful young lady.
You really should get to know her better.
And then I say this in her
head and I just go... (laughs)
- You just hear a screech I
will not replicate in response.
- Oh, come on, it's fun.
- Yeah, yeah, I should.
That would be nice.
- I'm gonna go-
- Can you stop looking at me?
(cast laughing)
- (claps) Just, I'm gonna go,
actually, as you start talking
to Karna I'm gonna just say,
are you a pious man, Colin?
- No, no, no, not really.
- Ah, well, I understand
that your line of work
it is possible to stray
from the light of the Bulb.
But tell me, did you
grow up going to church?
And where was that church?
- Look, I'm from the Dairy
Isles, and you know, there was...
People would go to church there
and I did that casually with my...
I'm not much of a church guy.
- Oh, well, I understand, absolutely.
Hey, pobody's nerfect.
- (exhales) Look, I...
(players laughing)
I need you to back up.
I just need you to back up.
- All right.
- Don't touch his shoulder.
- All right.
No, no, no, I understand. I understand.
Not everyone has a
positive relationship to,
you know, busybody members of the clergy,
always prodding their flocks.
And I just want to know
about you, you know?
- What about you?
How does such a pious man
find himself down here?
- (chuckles) The Bulb
works in mysterious ways,
and it is not for me to question
why I have found myself
in this strange place
only to move with the Bulb's
grace where I find myself.
- Well, it is a question I have.
- Ah yes, questions, questions.
- Hm.
- Tick tock, tick tock.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Nobody's perfect.
- Pobody's nerfect.
- That's what it is.
(cast laughing)
- Well, a meal, perhaps.
- I cook.
- Oh, ooh, did you hear that? He cooks.
In her head, in her head.
Did you hear that? He cooks.
- I will k*ll you and then me.
You have to stop, I'm dying.
- So tell us about you, Thane.
- No! I'm gonna go.
I have to go. I'm gonna go.
- [Anjali] Don't go.
We were all just getting
to know each other.
- Yeah, aren't we all headed to the,
you're going to go to
the safehouse or you?
- I'm fine.
- [Brennan] I believe there
are board games there.
- Let's go to the safe. Let's
go, the safehouse sounds fun.
- I'm gonna try to hang out on the roof.
(cast laughing)
- All right, as you
eventually acquire a safehouse
within Comida that you feel
at least for the evening
will allow you a night's rest
before the coming events.
You can take the time to
cook, banter, discuss.
Are there any burning questions
you wish to ask the group
before we move on to the morning's plot?
- I think either to Karna or
Colin or both I think I do,
at one point, settle up to them
with whatever strange
Meat Lander stew I made
that's just fine.
They said no witnesses.
Do you think that includes Dishless?
- No.
- [Lou] Oh.
- I don't think so at all. (laughs)
- [Lou] Oh.
- Right?
- I think, why would they?
These games, (chuckles) I'm
not much of a secrets guy.
- Have you k*lled someone before?
- A couple of times.
- What was it like?
And I'm just eating the
stew, absolutely ravenous.
- It was pretty bloody. Yeah,
they were a Meat Lander, so,
you know, we tend to gush.
(players laughing)
- I think she just gets a
nosebleed and then faints.
- I straight up drop a
plate in the other room.
(plate clatters)
(players laughing)
Shoots and celery, oh my Bulb! That's...
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to speak...
- [Zac] Wow.
- No, we're good.
This is good. This is good.
- It's just, I don't,
it's how we talk-
- Hot under my vestments!
- This is delicious stew.
- Uh...
- Oh, thanks. It's something
my mother taught me.
- Sorry, Queen, you hit your head so hard.
(cast laughing)
- It happens sometimes. It's a...
Just, I have to just lay down.
It's too funny.
- Can I send word?
I wanna slip out and try to get word
to Tomaté's, like, little hidden enclave.
- [Matt] Mm-hmm.
- 'Cause yeah.
- We can't-
- Is he going to... (sighs)
Just, we're leaving in the morning.
- [Anjali] God damn it.
- sh*t, no.
Could we try to do it tonight?
- [Anjali] I mean, we could.
- Yeah, before I send word
I am gonna reach out
to you telepathically.
We have to touch base before we go.
- You're right. How?
Will I leave that to you?
- We have to bring the Bishop.
The Bishop knows where they're staying.
- Oh, for goodness sake.
- I know.
(Anjali sighs)
He's got so many secrets.
- All right, well, what harm can there be?
He's just a sweet old man with secrets.
Let's bring him along.
We don't let the other two know, do we?
- Oh, I don't know. I
think we can trust Deli.
- Oh, do you? I bet you do.
- Stop it!
- Yes, of course. Of course, darling.
I'm sure they won't pry.
- Okay, okay.
- You're very sweet when you're like this.
It's not a bad thing.
- Yeah, let's get through this and then...
(sighs) And then we can
deal with puberty feelings.
- (chuckles) Right.
- So when the meal is
complete you are seeking out
the location of where Count
Tomaté is currently settled.
- Yes.
- Okay.
Do you do this letting
the rest of your team know
or do you slip out?
- Look, I'm the weak link.
I'm gonna go tell Deli everything.
Hey, Deli, so there's
this like, thing going on.
Do you know about Tomaté?
He's actually here.
And we're gonna go see him really quick.
Do you wanna come with us to go see him?
- Uh, uh, uh, the, uh,
the, the, with the hat?
(Anjali laughing)
- What?
- He had the hat when we were
here. The big, purple hat.
- This guy kicked off a world w*r
and you're calling him
the guy with the hat.
- [Anjali] The guy with the hat?
- Yeah, yeah, that guy.
- [Anjali] He did, right.
- Yeah, yeah, we actually sent missives
to Fructeran nobles when
we got here so it would be,
yeah, we'd love to come.
- What'd you say?
- Oh, there was support shown by Fructera
for the Meat Land's annexation
of territory and so-
- The Dairy Islands?
- Yes.
So I thought that it would
be good to put a face
to the Meat Lands as
there often isn't one.
- Did you send a missive
to Tomaté directly?
- Would I have? Probably.
- He is currently the
highest-ranking individual there.
- Yeah, yeah, I did.
- Well, then you know where he is.
- [Matt] You didn't get a missive back.
- I didn't get a missive back.
- Oh, right.
- I just, I found somebody
who I thought might know
and gave them a note.
- Right, like Santa Claus.
Shall we use your network to find him?
- Yeah, can I reach into my
network and try to figure out?
- Sure, go ahead and roll a
standard investigation check,
if you don't mind.
- [Aabria] Please.
- [Anjali] Come on, please, baby, come on.
- Please do something today.
- [Matt] I'll give you advantage
because this is your home turf.
- Thank you, I needed it.
- [Anjali] Come on, baby, ooh.
- There we go.
- [Anjali] Yay.
- Dirty 20.
- Dirty 20, okay.
It doesn't take very long into the evening
although it does start to
press into the late hours,
you know, pushing towards the
midnight to just past midnight
before you get knowledge that within one
of the three mason guilds
that have been conscripted
into the building of the
Great Pyramid of Food,
one of them is now currently the safehouse
that Tomaté has been using
while he's within the city.
You're also told that, be
mindful of the approach
because there are many, many scouts
and crossbow sn*pers at the ready
should anyone unapproved
be seen approaching
or entering the premises.
- Oh, crap. Okay, you wanna go?
(gasps) Can I show you something?
- Uh, yeah.
- I'm gonna reach into my bag and pull out
the rapidly decaying head
of Sir Durnun, Durnon?
- [Matt] Drunon, Drunon.
- Drunon.
- Oh, that's tough.
(players laughing)
- Yeah, yeah.
- [Lou] Who is that?
- Oh, just a, you know, like a w*r hero.
- Wow, and you're asking
me if I've k*lled people.
All right.
- Yeah.
I just thought it was
something we had in common.
- I guess it is.
- Stop!
- I'm not doing anything.
- I jam it back in the bag.
Okay, we were already there.
Back to the Food Pyramid,
but, you know, step lightly.
There's sn*pers and scouts everywhere.
- Is there any chance-
- You want me to go first?
- Well, yeah-
- Yeah, okay, I'll be back.
- Okay.
- All right.
- No, you don't have to
go by yourself, just-
- No, it's fine. I've got it.
I turn into Ja'Cru.
- [Anjali] Okay, fantastic.
- Whoa.
- Oh sh*t, I did magic in
front of you. I trust you.
- She's very good at costumes and things.
- All right, yeah.
I was-
- Sorry, I can do that.
- Yeah, I just, I haven't seen...
I don't think I've seen magic before.
- I'm gonna draw my sword.
(players laughing)
- No, no, no, no, no.
- [Lou] There's like a-
- No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, not
necessary. Not necessary.
- You don't wanna do that.
- It's fine, it's fine.
- We're good.
- Everything's fine. We're fine.
- Colin, I think we're fine.
- What? Oh, okay, yeah.
- What is the, what? I...
- Are you a miracle worker of the Bulb?
- Indeed, indeed she is.
- Yeah.
- [Anjali] She's uh, the
Bulb works in mysterious ways
and that's how we've become
friends with the Bishop as well.
- We're gonna, we're gonna...
- Make a deception check.
♪ Deception sucks ♪
- And insight for you.
♪ My deception sucks ♪
- I rolled...
- Okay, all right, okay.
- 35 nines.
- Okay.
- [Matt] Oh my. (laughs)
- But that's a 16.
- Okay.
- [Matt] 16.
- [Brennan] I'm also assuming-
- It's a natural 20.
- [Brennan] You've got to be kidding!
- Shut up!
- Three on this one.
- How?
- Catches you off guard.
This is an odd thing,
especially for an urchin
which means she's likely running
for the church for a reason.
- Wow.
- I understand what it's like
to be alone on the streets
and not have much to your name,
but I am very wary of what
you're doing right now.
And it seems like maybe a blessing,
but if you do anything
with those powers to me
I might have to do something as well.
- She won't.
- That's fair.
- Okay.
- I wouldn't have showed
you if I didn't...
Baseline trust, baseline trust.
- Baseline trust.
- Baseline trust.
- But also, if you ever threaten me
even casually ever again...
And then I turn and walk away.
- All right, are you
going on your own to this?
- Yeah, I'm gonna go
try to make a safe way.
- [Matt] Stealth check
for me, if you don't mind.
- Yeah. (cheers)
21.
- 21, not too bad.
I'm actually contested roll for the guards
who are actively searching.
- I'm trying to do like,
be like, sort of fake stealthy
of like trying to be discreet
and knowing that the
scouts will clock someone
that's been passing Tomaté information.
- Right, okay, yeah, yeah.
And you're familiar with how
those networks work here.
- Yeah.
- So as you move through the city streets,
not at the actual construction site
but a little ways southwestern in the city
is where this mason's guild is situated.
And as you approach, indeed,
you immediately clock
there are at least seven
different individuals
that are on nearby rooftops
just kind of perched up
and keeping watch, large, heavy crossbows
just kind of knocked and at the ready.
- I pause sort of in the center
and tap my foot seven times
so they know that I see all seven of them
and then keep moving forward.
- They check and they watch.
And you hear this distant
sound of them just readying it,
shouldering it, and preparing.
Not aggressively about to fire,
but just doing their due diligence.
You approach the exterior
of the mason's guild.
Big, heavy kind of orange wood
door that sits before you.
A large metal handle on it and a knocker.
- Okay.
I go up and give a little...
(knocks "Shave and a Haircut")
(Anjali chuckles)
(Matt knocks twice)
Okay, okay, well, you know,
if you've changed the knock...
(clears throat) I don't know
if you've changed the knock since then.
Ja'Cru, Ja'Cru, Ja'Cru.
- What you didn't notice
was there was a small cutout
in the top and a piece
of wood that shifts back
and you can now see the
viewpoint as a figure looks out.
It has been some time.
(mimics wood sliding)
The door closes and a larger one opens.
And there you can see there's a guard
who steps to the side and points over.
There is a table in the center
of this darkly, darkly lit room.
A single lantern that dangles over above,
kind of the fire illuminating this space
with some candles on it.
There are several soldiers around
that are just kind of sitting.
Some drinking, some playing
cards, but there in the middle
you see poring over a
table a map of Calorum
stretched out with a number of blades
and points stuck into it, drawings on it.
You see a frazzled-looking tomato,
the hat off and to the side.
And there you see this like-
- [Brennan] Wow, hat off.
Hat off.
- This tiny, like, curlicue
of bright yellow-orange
hair that just kind of curls
off the top of his head,
the mustache itself longer
and frazzled and his eyes look bloodshot
and he's just kind of looking over it.
As soon as the door opens he goes, huh?
Quickly, come in! Close
the door behind you!
Actually, he can do it for
you. Close the, it's fine.
Sits down, takes a big swig of wine.
(pants) Here we are, what brings you
to my chambers in the night?
You have not answered anything
for at least the past few weeks.
- I've been busy, but
I have a gift for you.
And I wanna reach into the bag
and plop the head in
the middle of the table.
- As it hits the table he kinda rears back
and some of the guards kind of, you know,
pull their swords for a
little bit out of the sheath.
- It's already dead.
What are you going to do?
- Grabs it and kind of pulls it forward.
The blood from the stump,
the dried coagulated elements
that are still somewhat sticky
just kind of dragging and
leaving a trail across the map
as he pulls it forward.
- Really? This is Drunon!
- Mm.
- Oh. (spits)
Spits right in his face
and picks up the head and looks at it.
I will remember this! Oh, it's, oh!
Takes another swig of wine,
sets it down. You m*therf*cker!
And just throws it across
the room and it goes
(mimics head impacting) on the ground
and some of the other
guards kind of look at it
and approach and kind
of poke it with a sword.
He's like, oh, (blows kiss) magnificent.
- That wasn't the gift.
I have for you a queen if you
are smart enough to take it.
- (chuckles) I haven't
even really thought about
or considered such matters.
There's a lot going on in
case you haven't noticed.
- Yeah, you're losing a w*r.
- I'm not losing. I am
considering my possibilities.
- Sure, you can call it what you want,
but you're a busy man
and I am a busier one
so we can dance around it or
we can have a conversation.
- I haven't time to dance.
Just tell me what you want, Cru Dite.
- I want you to marry Lady Amangeaux.
(Matt scoffs)
(adventurous music)
- Huh...
- Yep.
- Huh...
- Oh, this is faster than I expected.
- Kind of like, twists his
frazzled mustache in one hand.
- Well, hm...
(Matt stammers)
(Matt chuckles)
(Matt laughs)
Sacre Bulb.
(Brennan and Aabria laughing)
I think there may be something to this
that could be extremely useful.
- I have been nothing but extremely useful
to you these two long years, no?
- No, this is true, Cru
Dite, Cru Dite. (chuckles)
Okay, we will have to set up a meeting.
How long will it take for her to travel?
- She's already here.
- Oh.
Okay.
Tomorrow evening.
- It needs to be tonight.
- Tonight, I am a sweaty mess.
I was about to go to bed.
I have not slept in 16, 17 hours.
- Weakness, cowardice. I bring
you legitimacy on a plate.
And you cannot throw some water
under those disgusting armpits of yours
and do what needs to be done?
- And what, shake your
hand and put a ring on it?
Why, it is...
There is discussions to have.
It is more than just me.
I have an entire network of
people that are believing in me.
I need to speak with them.
We need to figure out the pros
and cons of this endeavor.
I cannot make an immediate
snap decision like this.
- 100%, kings are known
for their inability
to make snap decisions, right?
- You said I was a king.
- I know what I'm trying to make.
(Matt sighs)
I have one more thing for you,
but I want it only for you.
Clear your room.
- Gives you a really intense
look with narrowed eyes.
Take a break, friends.
It's a conversation,
five minutes.
The rest of the guards look around.
This kind of gritty-looking corn knight
to the side goes, are you certain?
He's like, yes.
One of my Vegetanian operatives.
Trustworthy, but not that trustworthy.
Kind of gives a look and they all begin
to shuffle out of the room
before the door closes,
leaving just the two of you there.
- I have given you good counsel,
and I demand a seat at the
table for what I tell you next.
- Make a persuasion check.
- [Lou] Ooh.
- Please.
Ugh, not great.
16.
- 16's not too bad.
You've gifted him with one
major thing. He looks to you.
I can place it under very
emphasized advisement.
Tell me, and based on
what you have to gift
in this hallowed space I can decide
if there is room at that table.
- Fair enough, your claim is
based entirely on the idea
that there is no rightful heir
from the previous king, no?
- Of course.
- What a shame that her son,
his son is in this very city right now,
and only I know where he
is, the rightful king.
- So the widowed queen
is here with an heir?
- She is.
Years of w*r, countless lives
all for naught.
(dramatic fantasy music)
- This will not do.
This will not do at all.
I cannot meet her tonight.
Not if what needs to
be done is to be done.
- Okay.
- How long are you and the queen here?
- We will step away for
three days and return again.
- When you return, bring her to me
where we speak.
Assure my ascension.
- As long as you assure
my place by your side
and you will call me by
my true name then, Karna.
And I take off Ja'Cru's ring
and put it on the table.
Hold that for me.
- It looks like there is another
chair there for the taking.
- Oh, zut alors.
(players chuckle)
I push up from the table
and just turn and walk away.
- Okay, as the meeting for
the evening, you're informed,
needs to wait until your return,
you gather with the rest
of your troupe here,
rest for the evening, and at
first Bulbian light, meet up.
- It's cute every time.
- With Quichéi
to head up along the Glucian
Road past the crossroads
for the next day till it
eventually brings you back
to an early night.
You leave your riding starfruit
that he had procured
for you off to the side.
(players laughing)
- Whoa!
- As he goes,
(players laughing)
all right, just over this ridge
I think is our best bet at doing this.
Keep them off the way.
Timing-wise we've got the better part
of an afternoon or two.
Let's go ahead and make this work.
So let's put our eyes and minds to it.
This is where we lay
some blood. (rubs hands)
- What do we see in this area?
You said over the ridge?
- Indeed.
As he guides you through
the slight hill rise,
you can see the large orange hills
that begin to divide into a brief valley,
and you can already begin to
hear the rushing sound of water
as the winding grape juice river
becomes immediately visible
pouring through this mild ravine,
the brown-orange root stone
bridge that arcs across it.
And as you look upon this space
and the magnitude of what you
must accomplish within hours,
within a night, the unknown
of when this individual
or individuals will arrive
really presses upon you
how important time and
strategy will be to succeed,
for the entities that you do this for
hold a lot more power in this
world than you anticipated
and still clutch to their chests
the secret that you've
held for very, very long.
And I think from there we'll
go ahead and end this episode
and pick up for this
ambush on episode three.
- Oh, my baby!
- Okay.
(wind rushes)
- Heading down from the Ceresian direction
along the Glucian Road you know that they
are to travel here and
an ambush is to be set.
It's go time. Are you ready?
- It's go time.
- [Lou] It's go time.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Game faces.
(players growling)
- Come on, Raphaniel. Three-point landing.
- Oh no!
- Buddy!
You will die here.
- I don't think I've ever
seen you cast a spell before.
- You didn't see me cast a spell.
What are you talking about?
- Hm, very tricky.
- Witnesses.
- Oh no.
- What do you wanna do?
- (stammers) Are you all right?
- Not like this! Not like this!
- Bishop!
- It's all, what have we done?
- Oh God! (screams)
(tempestuous dramatic music)
Delissandro, why?
- Destiny has been designed.
- You'll burn in its belly for
everything you've done here.
- We're all headed there one day.
(intrepid adventure music)
(intrepid adventure music continues)
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17x02 - Bloody Harvest
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.