[air hissing]
[warm tones resound]
[dramatic instrumental music]
- Hello friends, and
welcome to episode three
of Dimension 20's "Misfits and Magic."
I am your intrepid GM, Aabria Iyengar,
and with me are my Magical Misfits.
Say hi, Magical Misfits!
- Hi, Magical Misfits!
- Why are you all gerblins?
- I don't know.
I thought I'd be scary this time.
- It was too spooky.
- Sorry guys, I didn't mean
to scare you, it's just me.
[Magical Misfits laughing]
- Let's start with our spooky boy, Lou.
- Hey, what's up?
This is spooky boy Lou Wilson
playing Whitney Jammer.
- Erika.
- Hi, I'm Erika Ishii, I'm
playing xX_BrokenDream_Xx,
otherwise known as Dream.
- [laughs] Danielle.
- Hi, I'm Danielle Radford.
I'm playing Sam Black or
whatever her last name
winds up being after
this episode, who knows.
- [gasps] Yo, that was a,
please take an adversity token.
- Thank you.
- For stunting on the intro.
And Brennan!
- Hi, I'm Brennan Lee Mulligan
and I'm playing Evan Kelmp.
[group laughing]
- Every time.
- Every time.
- It's Kelmp, Kelmp.
- All day without hearing it.
Now we're right back to it again.
- Yeah, it was a beautiful 12 hours
of just not remembering.
And with that we drop
back into the fiction
and pick up exactly where we left off,
the four of you having traversed
from your potions class
up to the Applied Evocation Room
when suddenly the door bursts open.
A gout of flame licks out
and you hear the screams
and laughter of students within.
What do you do?
- I just water, water, water.
- Just-
- Yeah, just spread it.
- Oof, I'm gonna call that a fight roll.
I'm gonna say your difficulty is a 12.
Don't forget your magic die.
- Oh, man.
- Does everyone still remember
how to play this game?
- I don't, I don't, it's
been not even 12 hours.
[die taps table]
Oh, oh, that's a two.
I got ones on everything.
Oh no, that's a three, but
I got ones on everything.
Oh, it's bad.
- It's bad.
- Oh, it's bad.
- Take your adversity
token for a failed roll.
- Oh, you're gonna want to.
- Oh, yeah, I can take a roll.
- You whip your bright-pink sparkly wand
[Erika groans]
and sort of sight unseen
attempt to cast a water spell
to douse whatever flames you see.
But you struggled a little
bit with the business end
of your wand and it was
pointed back at you.
You don't have a lot of
good wand discipline yet
and all of you are going to be like,
it's like a fire hose
[water spraying]
that pushes you and slams
you all back against the wall
on the opposite side.
There's no counters for hit points here,
but it felt very bad, and you all
kind of get your bells rung
by this fire hose of water
in the wrong direction.
- God!
[Magical Misfits laughing]
- I, ugh, okay, hey, hey.
- They've been in one class,
I don't know what this is.
- Okay, everybody feel good?
I think Jammer's immediately gonna get up
and check to make sure nothing's broken,
kinda do some stretches, some just gentle,
everybody feel good? [shouts]
- [mimics stomping] You hear loud stomping
and you can actually
feel the heat and flame
coming out of this room
and you see a massive orange
something pass by the doorway.
- Uh, I'm gonna get up
dripping wet and go,
"I'm gonna poke my head in there
and see if it's normal or it's bad."
And then I'm just gonna peek
into the room real quick.
- You look into the room and you see,
but you were kind of going
over with the mob of Chimereon
and most of the other
students in your class
are kind of hanging back in the hallway.
They got the f*ck out of Dodge
when you firehosed yourself
and they're sort of watching on this side,
but you actually see 12
or 15 Aqrabus students
back against the wall on the inside,
some looking scared, some
kind of grimacing with delight
as this massive fire
construct stomps around
smashing the tables and
chairs that are everywhere
and catching things on fire.
And you see occasionally a student
will put something out behind it,
but they're not interacting with it.
But it didn't see you.
[dramatic instrumental music]
It's about 10 feet tall.
- It's about 10 feet tall.
And this is a construct
that doesn't appear to be,
it's not like a transfigured person.
- Would you like to do a roll
to get some bigger intel on that?
- Yeah, I would.
- Let's go brains roll, difficulty of 12
unless you want to do magic about it.
- I would like to do magic about it.
- Let's do magic about it.
- Okay, this is kind of a,
like, detect magic-y sort of spell
so let's go brains roll
difficulty of eight.
[dice rattling]
- [Brennan] Mm.
[Lou gasps]
- Don't forget your magic.
I know you're rolling it,
I just like saying it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's gonna be a nine.
- Perfect.
So you kind of lean in.
Is your wand out?
- It's not out.
I think Evan's in a place of just like,
walking and seeing these scared
but delighted Aqrabus
students seeing this thing,
not sure if this is normal or not.
I think it's completely reflexive.
I think that Evan, like a lot of wizards
have magical things occur
during their childhood
and Evan's had a lot of those.
- Yeah.
- So I think it's like,
the wand thing to him,
if someone was like, you
can't do magic without a wand,
he'd be like, [chuckles]
you don't know what the
f*ck you're talking about.
[group laughing]
I do magic all the time
without a wand and it's awful.
So like, I think he's
just, it's reflexive.
- Okay, the sentence
I heard was I do magic
without a wand and it's awful.
So going with that, he
successfully casts a spell
and the stone sorts of dents in and cracks
as you form this tether
and it turns to you
and you see into its eyes and
you see the person inside it
that's sort of freaking out
and screaming not in pain
but just in confusion and shock.
Looks like a student.
- Do look like they've lost,
they tried to do this and
they've lost control of it?
- I don't think you can tell that.
They seem to be surprised
by the turn of events.
[dramatic instrumental music]
Okay.
I'm gonna turn to my friends
and say, "I can't fix this.
There's a kid trapped inside that.
I don't know if the kid did it
or if the kid just got eaten by it,
but there's a kid in there
and they're trapped."
- What?
This is the class we're going to?
- Save us, dark one.
'Cause all of the Aqrabus students
just saw you do magic without
a wand and it looked wild.
Why don't, I, my name is Evan Kelmp.
Please refer to me as such!
[group laughing]
And I'm going to-
- Great, well, let's get him out.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
- I don't wanna do the
stuff that I can do,
but there's a kid who's
trapped in that monster.
- Yo, Evan Kelmp, did you
magic without a wand, my guy?
- I don't know, okay?
And turn back to-
- Did I say "my guy" right?
- Yeah, you said it,
that was right, right on.
- Thanks.
- So we, so I, Dream sort
of bursts through the door
and goes like, "Okay, nobody panic!"
And I, you know, it's fiery, right?
- Yeah, it's just massive fire.
- Okay, I'm going to try
and sort of take any benches
or chairs or tables or
anything and sort of like
corral it in there and just
sort of like smash it up.
- Nice, let me give you
an updated lay of the land
just so now that you're in you see it.
This is a massive classroom.
It's got 20-foot-high ceilings.
It seems less decorated and less covered
in adorable old wood.
It's an open space and
you're not necessarily sure
if everything sort of
started out on the walls,
but there's a lot of open,
free space on the inside
and desks and tables and
what little shelving there is
is pushed up against the side
so you can absolutely grab
those and try to corral him in.
But know that there's nothing in this room
more than half of his height tall.
- Oh, okay.
- So you're gonna have
to do some big magic
to try to match it and cage him
or kind of agree to a stopgappy thing
to buy your group some time.
- And sorry, there's no adults present?
- I was just gonna ask about a teacher.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Can we collaborate on that idea?
- Can we all start pulling
or try to corral him.
- Did Dream effectively
communicate what her plan was?
- Right, it's like, look, okay, stop him!
- Yeah, good.
- And then just starts
trying to move the desks.
Points at the desks.
- I'm gonna run in and start
physically moving desks.
I'm like, pushing desks
into the path of this thing.
- You see a pile of
students and at the center
a silver-haired kind
of Sylvan-looking youth
kind of nudges him and says,
"Use your magic, use your magic."
- Hey, oh, do you go to this school?
Did you grow up in wizard land?
Would you like to do a spell about it?
- And he picks up his
wand and puts out a chair
that's next to you that
was a little bit on fire
that you hadn't quite
noticed yet, "Magic."
- You're rude!
- "Go, new kids."
- Evan-
- "You're doing great, proud
of all of you." [laughs]
- I think Jammer's gonna
get on Dream's team
and start using his wand to
essentially chuck desks at it,
just like trying to move
them, [grunting] yeah.
- All right, so we've got
some telekinesis going.
For you, Dream, please roll,
let's go grit difficulty of 10.
For you because you're
actually trying to hit him
let's go fight difficulty of 10.
What are you doing, Sam?
- I am trying to corral the students
and make sure that everyone
is out of harm's way.
So I'm like a big beacon
of like, okay everybody.
Just go, stay in the corner.
You, it looks like you want to do
a little bit of a going outside.
We're not doing that yet
so just everybody stay here
and stay calm, we've got
this handled, yay Britain.
- Give me a charm roll difficulty of 10.
- [Lou] Love we've got this handled.
- [Aabria] Yay, Britain.
- [Lou] Do magic die explode?
- [Aabria] Huh?
- [Lou] Do magic die explode?
- They do!
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
- Oh, this changes everything.
- What was my?
- 10, I know.
- Eight.
[Aabria and Brennan gasp]
- Oh, no, that's great.
- I know, I am also shocked.
- The Aqrabus students look over at you
'cause Chimereon's been
staying in the hallway like,
"Yeah, we're already outside,
but thank you for your
concern" from down the hallway.
Yeah, you sense that
they're doing it back,
but you can't see them
'cause they're in the room.
- I'm gonna go join Sam and be like,
"Do you guys know that there is a kid,
another student inside
of that fiery being?
Did you see what happened,
what did you see?"
- Oh, yeah, that's Penfrew.
- You have to be more helpful.
[group members laughing]
You have to be more helpful.
What happened to Penfrew,
and how can we stop it?
Is this part of the class?
Should this be happening?
- Mm, no, no, yes, no.
- I don't remember my
questions in the order
I asked them either.
- Yeah.
- Does Penfrew need to
be rescued right now?
- Well, he's not enjoying
this very much, no, no.
- Okay, you guys have a great time.
I hope that you're happy
with your Scorpion House.
- I'm just saying, you would
do very well over here so-
- No one does well in Scorpion House.
- You don't-
- No one does well in Scorpion House.
- I thought were the one that was like,
"They're evil, don't."
We're not evil, it's self-identification.
Like, I felt you were
very pro not being about-
- What would you know about me
based on our zero previous conversations?
You stranger, you
stranger, I don't know you!
- Hey, hey, hey, buddy.
- My name is Axelby Killoran.
I don't think this is the time for a-
- Yeah, I don't want to make friends!
If you like Scorpion House,
we're not on good terms!
- Evan, sit down, dude, relax!
[all laughing]
- Just breathe.
- Don't let 'em get to you, dude!
- Count to 10, count to 10!
- One [growls] two! [screams]
- They turn and they're just
like [claps] oh, mysterious.
[Brennan growling]
- Evan, count to 10.
- You rolled a 22?
- I rolled 22 'cause grit is a d20.
- Yeah.
- And then my magic exploded.
- Oh my God.
- And I just got a 13.
- No, you're both crushing it.
- We're crushing it.
- So you are sending chairs and tables
scattering against the fiery Penfrew.
And they sort of break and get
consumed by him immediately
but he's like, stuck in
this place pinned down
and then you build this massive wall
up and around and over him.
Please add a little bit to me.
That was a very high roll.
And look me in the eye.
- Yeah.
- You know what I'm asking you to do.
What extra bit happens
with this spell, Dream?
- Oh, f*ck.
So Dream is like slamming the desks in it,
starting to explode and
get consumed in the fire
and she goes, "Wait, stop, please."
- And it turns and
sparkles just a little bit
in your direction.
[hums joyfully]
- [mimics confused humming]
And in its confusion,
[Erika humming joyfully]
it completely freezes and sits down
as you finish building this
cage of detritus up and over it
and there's little bits
of crown molding and gilts
and it gets really cute for
an improvised structure.
And he waits quietly within it
as your voice returns to normal.
[Erika coughs]
He's still on fire.
- What the f*ck was that?
- Yo, what the f*ck was that?
That was some cute sh*t.
- Did you rejoin choir after you moved?
- No, no, I don't really sing.
It's not really a mode of expression
in which I am accustomed.
- That was beautiful.
- That was like some "Frozen" sh*t.
And I'm not even gonna
lie, I love "Frozen."
I watched it a bunch of times.
That was some straight Elsa sh*t.
- [Brennan] Yeah, that was-
- Uh, it's a little problematic
as a movie just because,
you know, I can't social
justice right now.
[group members laughing]
This is too much.
- Do you need to sit down?
- [Erika] Yeah.
- 'Cause you can always social justice.
- Yeah, yeah, no, no, that's not.
Oh, God, somebody check on...
- I look over at Jammer and go. [stammers]
And I'm gonna walk over-
- I feel like
is sitting crisscross applesauce, kind of-
- Still within the mech of the like-
- Yeah, within the sort of cage of stuff
and he scoots and turns
and sits and looks at you
and occasionally keeps looking
over in Dream's direction.
- So I'm gonna walk
over to this fiery being
that is surrounding Penfrew.
I'm gonna look into it.
And it seems calm right
now, it's like waving?
Do I still have that connection
to Penfrew in the middle or no?
- No, you have to cast
a new spell to do it.
- Cool.
I look around, I look
at you just singing that
and I look at all the
spellcasting going on,
and I'm going to jam my hand
into the chest of the thing
to grab Penfrew and pull him out.
- Whoa!
- Are you doing magic?
Or did you just reach with
your hands and your heart.
- Just reaching with my straight hands.
- Sir. [chuckles]
[Brennan laughs]
- Oh no.
- This man ate an owl pellet.
This doesn't feel that-
[Brennan laughing]
This feels around that kind of area.
- We already established,
you already mentioned
something offhand last episode
about like if he touched
fire it wouldn't matter.
- Oh, I'm going to, yeah,
I'm just gonna reach.
Like, Evan is fine with whatever happens.
He doesn't know if magical fire
is the same as regular fire
or whatever the deal is,
but he's just like, I'm not doing,
he's like, I've never
done a spell in my life
that helped anybody so
I'm just gonna reach in
with my hands and pull this kid out.
- Please make a grit
roll, difficulty of 16.
[tense instrumental music]
[Lou muttering]
[Lou gasps]
- That's a nine.
And I don't add anything else to grit.
- This is a snap decision on Evan's part.
No one can assist.
- Damn it!
- Can I burn my own adversity
tokens on a snap decision?
- Yeah, I'll allow it.
- Cool, that's a nine.
One, two-
- Shut up.
- Three, four, five, six,
and my last makes seven, that's 16.
- Look at that.
- Oh my God.
- Every adversity token expended.
- And the room gets really
quiet at you got close
and sort of looked into the cage.
And you hear people murmuring like,
"He's not pulling his
wand out, what's his plan?
Is he gonna like, talk?
He's gonna talk the boy
out of being on fire?"
And then you just [mimics
wind howling] reach in
and the fire licks around your arm
but you don't seem fazed by it.
And you pull bodily and this young
sort of freckly teen
gets yanked out and like,
how do I describe this?
[haunting instrumental music]
It's like a charcoal
version of a humanoid shape
sort of crumbles in
after, that was around him
and just sort of crumples
into a smoldering pile
inside the cage as you
just pull Penfrew free.
And he's just in your
hands in his little robes
just super sweaty and scared
and just looks up at you like. [whimpers]
- Are you okay?
[Aabria screams]
- At me?
[Aabria mumbling]
Or at your situation?
[Aabria mumbling]
Yeah, I get it, you're good.
- I was on fire.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
- Don't set me on fire!
And he turns back to that
group that was heckling you.
You can't just set
people on fire and think!
And he is, like his robes,
sweaty though they may be
are green and he extricates
himself from you,
gives you a little nod, completely bland
like he wasn't scared of you.
He was just scared.
Calms down, kind of brushes himself out,
walks back over to the group.
You can't just set me on fire
and then let me stomp around.
Like, it's f*cking rude.
- Mm-hmm, this is another Aqrabus kid?
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- Gotcha.
- So, y'all just do this for fun?
Is this just something y'all do to homies?
Y'all just light each other on fire
and then laugh and burn things and stuff?
- And you're talking, but
I do want to cut you off
just to say that you cast another spell,
you cast it successfully and you look down
and your wand is different now.
- Okay.
- You have to live clear your-
[Lou shouting excitedly]
- Thank you.
- You can take the whole tray.
- I do not take this lightly.
[all laughing]
- Speech, speech.
- God.
- You can pass the tray back I guess.
- There's runes on the tray.
- Yeah.
- You can have the tray back.
- You can't just show 'em.
I feel like they're actual magic.
- Yeah, sorry.
- And I'm gonna get in trouble.
[Lou sighs contentedly]
[Aabria laughing]
- I'm sorry.
This feels great.
This is a good feel.
I'm just checking before.
[all shouting]
- What?
- [Brennan] Oh my God.
- Oh, man.
I think Jammer looks down at his wand
and notices the grip and the lacing
and it just has a real
like, one of those classic
bro emotional moments
that's just like, mm.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
- Your little basketball kind of rolls up
and nudges you in the foot,
gives you a little nod, Spalding side up.
- I pick him up.
Yo, let's smash the school.
Yeah, this is good, this is good.
[group members laughing]
[group members clapping]
- It looks great, man, that's awesome.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Spalding seems to like it.
- [Erika] Wow.
- Yeah, Spalding's about it, dude.
This is good, this is good.
This does feel like my wand.
- That's so you.
- It's so sporty.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, this is a great
grip, this is good.
This is like, I feel like
won't get sweaty, anything.
This is going for four
quarters for sure, yeah.
- That's so cool.
- It's first year as sh*t, but
it's a cool wand, good job.
- You famous?
- Boy in the center.
- Penfrew or-
- No, it's Axelby the guy like-
- Axelby Silverhair he said-
- Axelby Silverhair.
- He said "First year, but it's cool"?
- Yeah.
- Nobody f*cking asked you.
Why are you weighing in?
You're not a part of this group.
You're the people in the corner.
You're the f*cking corner
people, we're the heroes.
Why don't you keep your
f*cking thoughts to yourself.
[Brennan growling]
- Whoa, hey, Kelmp, buddy.
- I just don't like people
being rude to you, man.
- Hey man, I respect that.
- Did you see that?
Did you see how he was like? [growls]
- I step up, "What's your name, man?"
- [Aabria] Axelby Killoran.
- [Lou] Axelby.
Axel, what's your last name?
- [Aabria] Killoran.
- Axelvy Killoran?
- Axelby, but yeah.
- Axelby.
- Yeah, Axelby Killoran.
- Word, word.
Hey man, well, we're the pilot program.
- Yeah, we know exactly
who the f*ck you are
'cause you're like-
- Yeah.
- Our age, but your
wands are just changing
and it's a like a whole thing for you.
- 100%.
Hey man, well, I'm glad that you know
how to turn your friends on
fire and that's all chill.
- Yeah, do you want me to set you on fire?
- [chuckles] Bro, go ahead an try.
And I full on put my
hand on top of his head
and just tap him twice.
No, man, go ahead and try.
I'd love to see that.
[Aabria gasps]
I'd love to see that.
- Oh my God.
I need you to tell me what this roll is
'cause I wanna say, oh God,
I want to be like a grit or a brawn roll.
- [Lou] Mm-hmm.
- I feel like it's a brawn roll.
- It's gotta be like a brawn roll, just-
- I think it's a little
bit of intimidation.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- It's that kind of,
I'm trying to son this man.
- Yeah!
- Yeah.
- Oh, brawn roll, difficulty of 10.
- [claps hands] I'll take half.
[Brennan laughing]
- Whoa, hey!
- And he, oof.
Give me a charm roll,
difficulty, make it like, four.
It's just like now, this
is closer to a notice roll.
- Okay, so this is charm four?
- Yeah.
- [chuckles] Right on it, that's four.
- And the second time you
tap him you see a flicker
across Axelby's expression
that isn't, like,
the one that's staying is just
straight intimidation like,
this dude put his actual hands
on me and we don't touch.
We're British and wizards
and touching is wild here.
[Magical Misfits laughing]
Is just, oh my God.
It's like Mr. Darcy on fire,
like, oh my God, physical contact.
They don't know what to do with that.
But you also see something else flickers
that looks like it's like regret
and there's just like a little
bit of pleading in there
for just half a second before he goes back
to just being deeply afraid
and he kind of goes away like,
"All right, I was just offering."
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
- We're done.
- Well, like my man
said, we're the heroes.
The next time my girl talks,
you should probably listen.
- [Danielle] Hm.
- What's up?
- What's up?
- Okay, I mean, we just
didn't need to leave the room.
We were trying to make sure
that Penfrew isn't like,
you know, like actually set
anything important on fire.
- Maybe don't, just don't
set your friends on,
like, just don't have to do that.
And that feels like an option
that you can just say no to.
And Penfrew's just like, "Yeah."
And then immediately
gets like, called out.
Kind of goes back to sitting quietly.
And like, "It was just a lot.
We knew it was like the
first day with you all.
You're new, you want to see cool stuff.
We were just trying to
make it interesting,
keep it spicy, you know?
- Are you guys in this next class session?
- Yeah, we're with you.
- You're not here hanging out
from the previous section?
You're here in this section?
- No, no, no.
Like, all of your classes
are with, it's like,
Chimereon and then one of the group
and we do them together.
- Okay.
- And we're with you
for Applied Evocation.
- Okay, I think our interaction is done.
I think I know everything
about you that I need to know.
- You are very uptight for someone
with just a lot of like [groans] ability.
- Listen, my man Jammer
already stuffed you in a box
so I feel like we're good.
You can try to claw whatever
status back that you had,
but I saw you almost piss yourself
when Jammer tapped your head
'cause he'll bounce you up
and down the f*cking court
like Spalding, you know what I mean?
I'm not worried.
[Lou mimics ball bouncing]
- Yeah, do not f*ck with
us, please be nice. [coughs]
- Not gonna say anything.
- Yeah, I'm fully good on this.
- Yeah, let's go grab a table.
- Let's go grab a table, yeah.
- Yeah, I'll just sit
over here, that's fine.
- Hey, Dream.
- Yeah.
- Do you wanna, like, get into your...
- Condition?
- Well, I don't know.
Just the moment, I don't know.
Like, you know, I mean,
Evan does a bunch of stuff
and we just kinda ride with it.
I don't know if you also want to do,
just like take the Evan
mode where we're just like,
that happened and we just
kind of roll though it
or if that's, um...
- Nah, thank you.
I appreciate you broaching this topic.
You know, I am a little freaked out here
because this is not, I mean
like, again, no offense Teddy,
but like, just it's not me, you know?
It's so girly and it's, you know, I mean,
sorry, no offense or anything.
- No, it's okay.
- [Erika] It's just not like-
- I'm hard femme when I need to be.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Lou laughing]
And it's real cute, it's real
cute on you but it's not,
you know, I'm supposed
to be getting possessed
and talking to demons and
having the snake blood and stuff
and that was really cool, all
that stuff that you were doing
and that you, you know, you
reached your hand in there
and you didn't catch on fire.
- I haven't even looked at my hand.
What happened to my hand?
Do I look at it and see any?
I was kind of like, yeah, what
is it looking like right now?
- So you see it is sort of sooted over,
but you see little fissures,
but they don't feel painful.
Like, there's no blistering,
there's no burns,
but your hand is sort of struggling
to return back to a form that is skin.
It had changed in order to acclimate
to what you were trying to do.
- Yeah, it's not as cool as...
It's not like I'm strong.
There are things out there
that won't let me die.
So it's not like I'm badass.
It's like, there are
things that are pushing me
towards something that
need me to be something.
- As you talk, six fully
robed people walk in,
hoods up, their faces completely obscured
and they walk into the room and you see
kind of in the center of the floor
there's some carved-in sigils
in a big circle in the center
and they stand at each of the four points.
- I want to say to
Dream, real quick, before
'cause I know that this
class is about to start.
I just want to be like,
look, like, Jammer and Sam
have magic that like, their wands
are the coolest wands,
they're so happy with that.
I get it, you don't like
what your magic is like.
And I agree with that, and
you don't have to like it.
You get the cards you get,
but I just want to say
that if there's a part of you
that likes that stuff somewhere,
the world would actually be a better place
if people were singing songs
and sh**ting pink magic everywhere.
Like, that's a good world.
[soft instrumental music]
- Yeah.
Yeah, I guess, I won't,
that's actually helpful.
And maybe it is kind of
more me than all the,
you know, black lipstick and everything.
Maybe, yeah, thanks.
And I feel like, you know,
your magic is terrifying
and scary and I think really cool,
but you know, it brought us all together.
And I feel like maybe you
denying that you have it
might be bad for you in
addition to any other voices
in your head that are
preventing you from dying.
- Yeah.
Yeah, that's not something
you necessarily can solve
in one day by yourself.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I hate to interrupt,
but there are like,
four hooded dudes who
just walked in here and I-
[Brennan laughing]
- There's just like, low-level
ominous Latin chanting.
- Yeah, it just feels like we should.
- Okay.
- We gotta get our heads in the game.
- Yeah, okay, right.
- But we'll return to this.
- Yeah, let's just table it
until the hoods are gone.
- Exactly, yeah.
- After about a minute
all of the sigils light
up with black energy
that flickers forward.
I need you to make a grit
roll, difficulty of 10.
[tense instrumental music]
- That's a three.
- You hear something in
the back of your mind
that starts chanting along with it,
and Evan's eyes, sclera, pupil, iris,
everything just go to black.
As the spell finishes,
and in a poof of darkness
there is a ghostly figure of a man
standing at the center
of this sigil and circle.
Evan, your eyes go back to normal.
You hear the chanting stop
as these four purple
cultists stop and they turn.
And without saying anything
or addressing any of you
walk out of the room and just
this ghostly figure remains.
- Is that our teacher, you think?
- I think so, but if
four dudes have to come
and summon our teacher for
our teacher to be here,
that just feels like so much extra work.
Like, there's not another corporeal person
who could just teach the class?
- Yeah, why don't those
guys teach the class?
- Exactly.
- You can just ask the question
out loud if you would like.
- Yeah, are you, who are you?
Are you the teacher?
- [Aabria] I am Professor Criggle,
and tenure is a m*therf*cker here.
- [Lou] Ah.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I died eight years ago.
Contract's not up for another 12.
You hate to see it.
- Well, I didn't know that-
- So your tenure means
not only can they not
fire you, you can't quit.
- Can't quit, can't die either.
- That doesn't sound fair.
- They will bring me back
for another semester.
This is fine and I am fine
with it and I don't, you, sir,
are you always like that with your arm?
No, but it goes away most of the time.
Thank you for asking.
- Okay.
What is, why is there fire?
And you see he raises his hands
and he also doesn't use
any sort of wand to cast
because he just has sort
of necromantic energies.
And you see a ghostly version
in reverse of fiery Penfrew
trapped in a cage and then the
cage sort of crumbling down
and desks and chairs
ripping away from his body
and he stomps back around
and it sort of traces back
to where he started when
the spell was initially cast
by some other members,
not Axelby, in that group.
And he goes, "Oh, okay,
we set a boy on fire.
You, are you okay?"
Penfrew just kind of shakes his head no.
He says, "All right, you, would
you like to go to the nurse?
That's gonna be longer than you think
and if we could just
get that taken care of
you can get back in here for class."
- Yeah, that actually would be great.
I'll go to the nurse, thank you.
- Yep, okay.
The rest of you, let's talk
about defensive casting.
And he begins into a long, boring lecture
as Penfrew kind of hops up, looks at you,
"come on," and gestures
for you to follow him.
He'll lead you towards the nurse.
- Cool, I'll see you guys in a little bit.
- Okay.
- We'll take notes.
Or, they'll take notes.
- Awesome, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll check your guys' notes
later, awesome, thank you.
- And we can also send the little things.
- Oh, yeah.
- If you have a message.
[magic twinkles]
[object snaps on impact]
- What's up?
- What's up?
[all laughing]
- Please refrain from
passing notes in class.
- Sorry.
- That's fine.
Anyway, back to defensive casting.
And he starts to gesture and lecture
and ghostly words appear
in the room around you
as the two of you leave.
And sufficiently clear of the door
and halfway down the hall Penfrew finally
kind of looks over his
shoulder and back at you.
Um, I'm Penfrew Lairmsbury.
Are you good?
- I'm fine, thanks for asking.
How are you doing?
I know your friends put you in that...
- Yeah, they just do kind
of wicked sh*t all the time.
It's not great.
- Yeah.
Well, I'm really sorry.
- Oh, me, too.
Thank you for, how did you?
Is it weird to ask?
'Cause you get very mad
when people ask you about your magic.
- I really don't get mad
when people are regular.
When people are just normal
and polite, I'm so polite.
I know that I'm coming
across as like a yelly guy,
but everyone at this
school feels so entitled
to come up and talk to me like we've met.
Not one person, not one person,
Penfrew, not one person has come up
and said "Hello" and
introduced themselves.
People literally start
interactions with me by going,
"So, you're the dark
one" like we are friends.
[group members laughing]
- That sounds exactly like Ax.
[laughs] That was great.
- Yeah, that guy's bad.
- Eh, I mean, he's like a legacy.
- I bet, I know, he's like
a rich private school kid.
- Yeah, 100%.
- I just hope, yeah,
and listen, tell your friends
they really shouldn't mess with us.
Like, I'm trying to say that
[Lou chuckling]
as a warning like, Jammer
was doing you all a favor
by explaining to you that you
really shouldn't mess with us.
Jammer doesn't need a
wand to kick your a*s.
[Lou chuckling]
I've fought adults
in gas station parking lots with no magic.
Like, if Axelby wants to
start some sh*t, I won't need,
my eyes won't go black.
I will just actually stomp
his a*s to the ground.
[Aabria laughing]
I know you're all, like,
British private school kids.
I'm not here to f*ck around
and none of my friends are.
- That's honestly so f*cking fair,
and I'm really, I'm sorry?
I guess I'm sorry.
- Thank you, that's really,
again, like, I'm really a nice,
easygoing guy, but it is
amazing the button pushing-
- Well, here's the thing-
- That's going on in this place.
- Everyone, like, okay,
so there's not a lot
of like, inter-house
communications like a day in.
It's like, the first day
of school or whatever.
But stories, you know?
- Yeah.
- Like, you know what gossip is, right?
- Um, not so much.
Not inasmuch as I have
sort of had social circles.
- I'm sweaty, I'm sorry.
- No, no, it's fine, yeah.
Yeah, no, I don't super know gossip,
and that's actually very,
uh, a lot of my life
has sort of been about trying to be
as unperceived as possible.
- But, here's the thing.
I feel I'm gonna say a thing that is part
of my personal context being
in the house that's full,
kind of known for being
like, evil and shitty.
And I feel like it might make you mad
so can you promise that you
won't hit me with a gas station?
I didn't know the middle
part of what you said.
- Petrol station, sorry, yeah, for sure.
- Petrol, I don't know what
that means either. [laughs]
[members laughing]
- God.
- I've fought adults in a
petrol station parking lot.
- Oh, it's like a place.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, okay, please still don't fight me.
- Oh, it's not even a
British thing, you're magic.
You don't have any context.
[group members laughing]
You don't have any context.
I have fought adults in a paved area
without help around.
- Oh, okay, okay.
Well, that's wild and I'm sorry.
I feel like I'm just gonna
keep saying I'm sorry to you.
- Whenever I just honestly
report the facts of my life
people get emotional.
- Yeah, I mean, I kinda get it.
Okay, so you're not gonna
fight me if I'm just like.
- It is completely
unacceptable to ask someone
to pre-promise their emotional
reaction to information
that they don't know what
the content of it is.
I'm gonna have the reaction
that is appropriate to
whatever you tell me.
- But like, okay, but
feelings are one thing
and what you do with
those feelings is another.
So you can feel however you want to feel
about what I'm going to say.
Please don't f*cking stomp me for it.
- Say what's on your mind.
- I don't want to.
We're actually at the nurse's station
so I'm gonna just slide on in.
[Magical Misfits laughing]
He just goes through the door.
- Say what's on your mind. [laughs]
That's a guarantee.
That's pretty much saying,
I'm gonna stomp you.
- Yeah!
- Yep.
- That's saying, I'm gonna stomp you.
- This little wizard read
the writing on the wall
and ran to the door.
- Say what's on your mind.
- All you're missing is
cracking your knuckles.
- Exactly!
- Yeah.
- All right, Penfrew, it's been real.
- Oh, he's already gone.
[Magical Misfits laughing]
He's super in that, like,
he slipped into the room
to end that interaction.
- Cool.
I'll just wait on the
bench until Penfrew's done
and I can go talk to the nurse.
- Yeah, he comes out just
a couple minutes later
and he's got a really
big, like a jug of water.
Okay, cool.
Good interaction.
Thank you not fighting me.
Like, I mean that both
on this very long walk
and then before when I was. [whimpering]
- Yeah, you don't deserve to
be set on fire and I hope-
- Thank you.
- You should consider
asking for a transfer out of your house.
Evil shouldn't be a valid
choice of place to study.
- I mean, what are you gonna do?
And he just walks-
- Quit, quit.
[members laughing]
- That's not an option!
And like goes down.
- Oh, okay.
Have a good one, Penfrew.
- And you see a big sort
of pink mitt of a hand
open up the door.
- Mm-hmm.
[soft instrumental music]
- Is someone else here?
- Hi, I'm Evan Kelmp.
[Danielle laughing]
I have some burn injuries on my hand.
- Evan Kelmp.
- Oh.
- I may have also cast some
reflexive non-wand magic.
But I actually am glad to, can I come in?
- Yeah, yeah, come on in.
And the door sort of fully opens
and you see this six foot tall, thick,
bald-headed, bearded man,
but everything is like bismuth pink.
He's completely pink
with bright blue eyes.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Oh, hello, yeah, Evan Kelmp?
- Yeah.
- Good, I'm Nurse Stitchnit.
Go head and take a seat.
- I understood you,
thank you for seeing me.
- Yeah, so do you mind if I look at?
We can do like a-
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Inspection and talk.
Okay, so those aren't, it's not so much
that your arm in burned,
though it is very hot.
You know, hold on.
And he goes and puts on oven mitts
and then regrabs your
arm and is kind of like,
"Your arm is different.
How, how are you like this
is all I'm gonna say."
- Well, I guess that kind of kicks us back
to the conversation I sort
of primarily wanted to have
which was, you know, I got
the owl with the letter
and then Headmistress
Philtrum got a call on her owl
and there's been almost no-
- Arm please.
- Yeah, there's been
almost no formal window
for student feedback or
any kind of communication
about what this is or what's happening.
- Yep.
- It seems like this place
really runs on rails.
- 100%.
- And there's not a lot of
like, hey, stop the clock.
Let's sort of talk about what's sort of...
- You're so not wizardly
about this whole thing.
It's kind of funny.
- Just by-
- You're doing good.
And he's just covering you
from finger to shoulder.
- Being, like, inquisitive
is not wizardly?
- Not really, about this kind of thing.
- Okay, well, the whole thing is, listen-
- You can take your hand
back, just let it dry,
keep it in the air, thank you.
- Gotcha.
I've been like this forever.
I can't answer any how questions.
I don't, I've been in a
series of care facilities
and organizations throughout my childhood
and a lot of them have evaporated
or otherwise bad magical
situations have happened
that have necessitated I depart.
- [Aabria] Mm.
[soft instrumental music]
- But the question is,
the real question I sort of have.
The only reason I sort
of said yes to this,
I'm not actually interested
in studying here.
But this is the first
shot at anything close
to an explanation I've ever had.
This is the first time
I've been reached out to
by any other person that
seemed to understand
that what is happening to
me is not a hallucination.
- [Aabria] Mm, mm-hmm.
- I'm just here to get, [chuckles]
I would have loved an
invitation to a magical hospital
more than like a magical school really
'cause I just need it gone.
[lens clicks]
I just sort of need it to stop.
- Okay, and he's put on these glasses
and kind of is doing that same thing
of inspecting you
through different lenses.
And you kind of feel your hand
going all tingly and cool.
It's like IcyHot on your arm as it slowly
begins to go back to normal.
Yeah, okay, so what I'm
seeing, there's a lot.
There's a lot happening in
you, and I know you know that.
So let me first say that your feelings
and your experiences are incredibly valid
and obviously happened.
I'm not here to tell you
the thing you already know
which is, you can put your hand down.
- Okay.
- That you've experienced a lot
of fairly traumatic magic, yes, yes.
And let me say first and foremost
that if the thing you
want most in this world
is to no longer be magical,
that's super doable.
We can book you for an outpatient exorcism
and just deal with that right away.
[Brennan sobs softly]
Oh, oh, oh, sweetie.
Do you want some water?
You want same tea?
You're American, do you want a soda?
[Magical Misfits laughing]
- I would love a Coke.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Just a Coca-Cola would be great.
- I can do that, get a Coke.
- I didn't know.
I mean, obviously I don't
know anything about magic
so I didn't know if that was
gonna be actually an answer.
I didn't know if the
thing I was asking for
was even like an option.
- Oh, sweetie, absolutely.
- Awesome.
- I cannot...
I just,
I just want you to consider
what that will mean for you.
I haven't gotten a lot
of your background, but-
- It's not even.
- You don't have to say it.
- If I was just acting selfishly,
I would still want this.
I would still just want to be normal.
I would still just want to be normal.
But I'm sure that if I
live with this for longer
I'm gonna become the thing
that everyone thinks.
So it's like, it's in everyone's interest
for me to not be like this.
- Can, I, I'm so sorry.
Can I give you a hug?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
And he just like a bear, like pulls you in
and you are just lost in a massive pink
and pristine white robes.
He sort of pats you on the head.
You remind me so much of my daughter.
Wait, you, you're all
in, you're in Chimeron.
- Yeah.
- My little girl,
Maddy, she's a fourth-year.
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah, she came to me
for, she had trouble
expressing the person she wanted to be.
And I don't have to make
this about me or her.
But she's lovely.
- It's nice to hear that
anyone else understands.
I don't think you're being selfish
about talking about your daughter.
It's nice, it feels like company.
- Yeah, I... [sighs]
And he's getting really emotional, too.
Just hold on, I'm gonna get us this Cokes.
That's like Coca-Cola, right?
- Yeah, yeah, just Coca-Cola.
- Cool, I wasn't out there for very long
and there's so much weird stuff
that we don't know
anything about out there.
- Double culture shock 'cause you're magic
and it's America, for sure, yeah.
- Yeah, 100%.
I was looking up a lot
about puberty blockers.
Did you know that medicine
is better than magic
in a lot of important ways?
- Yeah, I actually did super know that.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, there's a lot, yeah.
- And he comes back and has
like one of the mini ones.
It's a little Coke, like tiny Coke.
He gives you a tiny Coke.
[laughs] I hate that you made it a bottle.
I hate that you made it a bottle.
Take an adversity token
for the stress I'm under.
- It's so good, it's so
good, tastes like home.
[sighs] Um, yeah, listen,
I really appreciate you being kind to me.
You're one of the first
adults here that's sort of,
you and Dr. Boodle are
holding it down, really.
- Dr. B's pretty great.
- Yeah, Dr. B's great.
But um, basically the only
thing I just wanted to ask,
basically, was just, yeah, I under-
- Evan, it all goes away.
- Yeah, that's great.
I want it all to go away.
- No, no, no, no.
It all goes away and Dr. Boodle-
- Perfect, and then I'll just come back
and I can hang with Sam
and Jammer and Dream
and I won't be a threat.
- Evan-
- I almost k*lled, I
almost k*lled Sam today
with a blood cobra.
If she wasn't so good at magic
it, it like attacked her.
So that's like, it's not
on the, it's not an option.
- Dangerous as this
place is, that young man
that was just in here, his
friends did that for fun!
That can k*ll people.
This is a place that
things happen to people
and magic undoes a lot
of that, not everything.
I am very overworked.
This is a slow time for me
'cause it's just the first day.
But no, you don't get to come back.
It all goes away.
You go home.
- I don't have that.
You mean like, why is that necessary?
If I'm in danger, that's fine.
I've been in danger before, it's fine.
I can work here, I'll like, clean up
or I'll do something here, I can get job
and I'll just hang out.
- It's now how that works.
- Well, that's not very fair.
- Life isn't very fair, son.
But, but I don't want to say that.
I don't want you to feel like
you only have bad options.
I feel like you are a soul
that's only ever known bad options.
This is a school, weird
though it may be for a reason,
and the things that have happened to you,
the things that happen around you,
they don't have to define you.
You can learn to control them.
And maybe it takes a little extra work,
but you can control it, if you want.
You can stay if you want.
I'll help however I can.
Dr. Boodle and I are
actually two of the people
that advocated the most
for this pilot program.
And we want to see you succeed.
Not just you conceptually.
Yes, that, too because I
saw things out there, Evan,
that yes, NAMPs, the
world you experienced,
there's so much innovation
that you've done
because you don't have
magic to fall back on.
Toilets are a huge part of it.
[group members laughing]
I have a toilet, it's amazing.
I love it so much
But it's not just that, there's
so much needless suffering
in the world that could
be helped by magic.
And I don't mean to put more
pressure on you, oh God,
but I think you are the
beginning of something bigger,
something special that
could change the world,
all four of you.
And we didn't know how
special you would be.
Philtrum picked the four,
but it could be okay.
It seems like you've
got some good friends.
- The best.
They're the best friends.
- Yeah.
- I watched Sam grow this
tree out of her wand.
[warm instrumental music]
And it was like, effortless and beautiful.
And I heard Dream sing with
this voice that she's like,
so self-conscious about
it and it was beautiful.
It was the most beautiful
voice I ever heard.
And I watched Jammer look at his wand
and see all the cool things
he could do in his life
stretch out ahead of him.
So I know I have the best friends.
I know I have the best friends.
Nothing I'm ever gonna do is
worth endangering any of that.
I'm good.
- I just spoke with Penfrew.
You pulled him out, you did that!
- I would like the treatment.
I'd like the treatment.
It's just not worth it.
Thank you for much for the
risk that you guys took on me.
I appreciate it.
And I'm gonna get up and head.
- [sighs] Yeah, okay.
And he kind of just lets you go.
We'll wipe from that class
and sort of reconvene
at the end of your first full day.
And the rest of Chimeron is giving you
a bit of a wide berth so you can gather up
wherever you want to on campus.
You have a free run of the
place, and you don't have
to be back in your rooms until 11 o'clock.
So what would you like to do?
- Let's explore the grounds.
- Yeah, I definitely want to
check out the scroople field.
[all laughing]
- Scupper!
- Scupper, excuse me.
Scupper field.
- Scuppers!
- I knew it was something whimsical
[group members laughing]
and not traditionally cool.
Yeah, I would love to have
convinced my friends to somehow,
like, we'll see the campus.
- Yes we're going to scuppers.
- And then I just lead them to
the scuppers field, but yeah.
- Yeah, are you all together?
- Mm-hmm.
- I mean, everyone who wants to come.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm, yeah, I'm like, yeah,
let's go check out the scuppers
field, that sounds awesome.
That is so cool.
[group members laughing]
- Yeah, without anyone to lead you,
you kind of just meander out of the castle
down towards this massive field
and get through a little glade
and you're standing on this
big, beautiful green pitch.
And it's about 50 yards
in both directions,
like a big square, and as
you pass onto the grass
it's more vibrant and verdant
than the rest of the foliage around you.
You feel like you passed into a space,
and it immediately makes your eyes go up
and you have a sense of being
enclosed not on a square field
but in a cube.
- [Lou] Mm.
- And there's two goals
at the end of the field.
Just big soccer-looking goals.
- All right.
- You could really-
- Yeah, this feels doable.
- Yeah.
- You know, actually,
I'm gonna take a slip of
parchment or something.
I'd like to sh**t it off to Oggle
- Yeah.
- Let's go with, oh, we'll hit 'em both.
Let me hit up both Hoggle
and Coggle and be like,
hey, can you meet us
at the scuppers field?
I need to understand how this works.
- Tight, you send that off and
then within like 20 seconds
they both appear just
like. [snaps fingers]
- Oh, sh*t, you can do that?
You can just appear places?
- Yeah, yeah like a little,
it's hard to do, but you can do it.
Hey, what's up?
- We're just checking
out the scuppers field
and we were all wondering,
we all had questions
about the nature of the sport
and what position we might
best play and how we would
just be dominant and kind
of become the best at this?
- Are you guys gonna try out for scuppers?
Scuppers! [claps]
- Yeah, I think we're all trying out.
- Everyone?
- Yeah, I'ma try out for scupper.
- It's 10 people on a team,
you're four, that's easy.
- We could all play on the scuppers team.
- Could try it out, I guess.
- I'm not super coordinated,
but I'd be-
- I'm gonna get more people!
- Yes.
- And Cogle disappears again.
- Guys, we could all try out for scuppers.
It's probably some, none of
these people are athletic.
Like, you guys could
all probably rock this.
- We haven't even tried our brooms yet.
- I was honestly thinking the same thing.
- I guess that'd be pretty cool.
- I'd like to-
- Hoggle's still standing there
looking a little wounded
by not being athletic,
but then he looks down and
is like, obviously not.
[all laughing]
- I feel like I asked
maybe you or someone else.
No, I asked Dr. B about working out.
And none of you knew what a gym was.
- Don't know what that is, no.
- Yeah, exactly.
But yeah, I'd like to get
my broom out and be like,
all right, Hoggle, how does this?
Is it just like the witches and you just,
and I just like put it between me, yeah.
- Just sit on it, yeah.
Okay, ooh, I'll teach you
all how to ride your broom.
Did everyone bring their brooms?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- [gasps] This is amazing!
Okay, just, all right.
So super hard, you gotta focus.
Put it under your butt and then push up.
- All right, and...
- I need everyone to make a flight roll,
difficulty of seven.
[whimsical music]
[dice tapping table]
[Brennan chuckles]
Oh buddy, oh buddy. [laughs]
- I pass, is this something
we could give adversity tokens
to other people?
- Yeah. [laughs]
I mean, you see Evan kind of balancing.
- You-
- Anyone who doesn't make it,
I'm giving you adversity tokens.
- You cannot get me to where I need to be.
- No, I don't think you can do that.
- What are you at?
- I'm a four and-
- Yeah, I got you, boom.
- I don't...
- So that's four to get you to eight
and that's three to get you to,
we need to get to seven, right?
- Seven is the difficulty?
- Seven's the difficulty.
- Yeah. [laughs]
- Boom.
- Yeah, I'm at five.
- I'm out of adversity tokens.
- Oh no!
- God damn it.
- How do you want to help them, Jammer?
- I think it's a lot of, in
the same way that I might like,
I think if I get it, if I get an 11.
- Yeah, the moment you push off,
you're fine and your center is balanced.
- I hit a 12, or that's a 13, excuse me,
so I think I push off
and am immediately like,
I think I gently glide over to them
and then just immediately
try and adjust their posture
and like just put hands.
It's like, all right, so you
just want to feel it, feel it?
All right, now just, ba*ls of
your feet, ba*ls of your feet.
All right, and push.
- I was gonna say, I think-
- I think the ones from, yeah.
- 'Cause I think Sam is only two away.
- Got it.
- Yeah, so two.
- I'ma give two of yours
back 'cause I'm a lot away.
- Oh, okay.
- So I think if I look over
at Jammer as you two are
going there, first of all,
I'm sitting on the wooden
bar of the push broom
so I have the full six feet.
It's like the end is way out
ahead of me and I'm just like,
it's not, it's not gonna happen.
- You're gonna hit, you're gonna get it.
- Maybe not today.
- Maybe not today, yeah.
- But I think...
- Toss you that.
You just need the one.
- Mm-hmm.
- Great, boom, but yeah, I think it's me,
it's just in the same way
that I would help somebody
either work on their swing or their shot.
It's just like, hands-on, asking of course
before I touch anybody
and then just kind of,
like helping them through the motion
so they can feel it in their own body.
- [Aabria] Yep.
- And then slowly taking my hands away
as they do it themselves.
- You guys are hovering all
about five feet off the ground.
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah!
- I'm like, flying.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, oh, you guys, I always
knew it would be like this.
- Nope, nope, you-
- Brawn check-
- Okay, okay.
- Brawn check, let's go!
- Yeah, again!
[Danielle laughing]
- You wouldn't, hands free
real quick and then leave it.
[Erika shouts]
- "City of Angels."
You gotta keep your hands on it.
- [laughs] What do I have to roll?
- How low do I?
I'm gonna say a brawn
check ability of five.
- Brawn, oh no, okay, I can't-
- How's your core strength, baby?
- I have a four, oh God.
Oh, well, I have plus two
so, oh, okay, six, six, six.
- Yeah, you wobble.
- All right, I'm like.
[Erika shouts]
- And then you got it.
- Yeah, yeah!
- [shouts enthusiastically] Awesome!
- Here we go, here we go, the Goat House.
- Goat House!
- Goat House, oh!
- Yeah, hey, Goat House, Goat House.
- As you go to do that, Sam,
can you make a charm roll for me?
- [Danielle] We're gonna
say difficulty of 12.
- Okay.
[die taps table]
- You look down as you
kind of do the, [shouts]
to catch yourself and
you see a little thread
from you to Jammer
[soft instrumental music]
and from Dream to Jammer.
And you see the thread
between Evan and Jammer
and it's just, it's not glowing enough.
- Okay.
- You can see it.
No one else can, and
it's not flickering away
like it normally does.
- Ooh, what?
I think it's happening again.
I don't know what this is.
It's like we've got these
tethers to each other.
And right now we're tethered.
You're tethered but it's
not the way that it,
it's not going away.
It's not the way it looked before.
Jammer, say something tight
and encouraging to Kelmp.
- You don't have to.
- My man's the coolest most
incredible dude who's ever.
It's like he's got a bag
full of tricks, right?
He's kinda like a Paul Pierce, right?
Where he's just like out
there, and it's like,
wherever he is on the field,
you don't know what's gonna happen,
but it's gonna work, you know?
My man's the Truth.
- With every kind word you see a vibration
like a guitar string strumming
and it glows a little bit
and hits Evan and it
sort of just dully stops.
- Evan, say something
super tight to Jammer.
- You're my best friend.
- You are almost blinded by
a whipcord of bright light
that streaks off and
hits Jammer and stays.
- I never had anyone stick up for me,
and then the other day when you got me out
of that bad situation,
I've just never had,
and it was just like
[snaps fingers] reflexive
'cause you're just that guy.
- [Lou] Appreciate you, dog.
- Oh my God.
- [Aabria] It gets brighter.
- Softboy, softboy.
- The boys are so soft,
but the light is so strong!
- I mean, I can get down with that.
I mean, I'm not sure how I feel
about being called a softboy,
but softboy strong light?
You know, that's some good team energy.
- It glows and it stays.
- I don't know what any of
this means, but it's like...
- Brains roll difficulty of five.
- Oh, no, I can't hit above-
- Hit a charm 16, no problem.
- Explode, explode, explode.
- Come on, explode, explode.
- Explode, explode, explode!
- Dunk, you got this.
- Three.
- Oh!
- You don't add anything?
- No, there's nothing I add onto this.
- So Dream
is like, here, let's try and
figure this out together.
And she's on her broom which is guardian
which means that if she's
defending or aiding somebody
that I can roll my stat and magic
and if I fail, reroll the magic, too.
- Brains roll, difficulty,
because you can't quite see
what she sees I'm gonna
say the difficult is eight.
- Okay, all right.
Four and,
let's see, what is this,
eight, eight, eight, eight!
[Brennan clapping]
- Eight, eight, eight.
- [Players] Eight, eight,
eight, eight, eight, eight,
eight, eight, eight, eight,
eight, eight, eight, eight!
- I feel like they're
just yelling, "Hate."
- It did, it sounded
like hate at one point.
- It did start hate.
- Eight and hate,
it can ride the line either way.
- It's tough to chant eight, yeah.
- Both are really close,
it got weird for a second.
- I like pull up alongside and I'm like,
okay, let's think about this, all right?
So they said nice things about each other.
- Right.
- It's not sticking to Evan.
- Right, it's like-
- You can see it now, too.
That was the success.
- It's like-
- And you that the origin
is Jammer and you understand
a little bit more now
that this is part of Jammer's ability.
- [gasps] Oh my God, Jammer
has like a natural "Lady
and the tr*mp" thing
where it's like-
- What?
- It's like when nice
things start happening
people just connect.
- Spaghetti, spaghetti.
- Spaghetti.
- Spaghetti.
- Spaghetti?
- If they're taking a moment
to figure out friendship,
can I pull Jammer to the side
for a little bit?
- For sure!
- Cool, but I don't want to interrupt,
but I'm gonna seize that
moment to go grab Jammer.
- Okay, so it is a Jammer thing.
- Yeah, it's all coming from Jammer.
- Is this like a teamwork thing?
- [gasps] It would explain,
'cause it's not a wand thing.
It would explain why he's always so good
and encouraging in team sports.
- Yeah.
- Adversity tokens to both of you.
- This is why he's so good at this
'cause it's like a natural
loving and caring goodness.
It's a special squad thing.
- Yeah, he's like truly an MVP, you know?
- Yeah, and if you're on his
squad then that's what you get.
- Oh.
- I got chills.
- I just feel glad, oh my God.
- Oh my God.
- Oh my God, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- So we think we figured it out.
- I'm not gonna.
- Yeah, we jump back in time
like 10 seconds. [beeping]
- Hey, real quick man, I just want to say,
you're not a Paul Pierce, that was wrong.
You're like a Shaq Diesel.
You're like a big man,
unstoppable kind of vibe.
- I hate how much this is so
good for me, specifically.
- I actually got that wrong.
You do have like the
Paul Pierce attributes,
but it's honestly, you're
more like unstoppable,
especially when you get in the zone.
- I feel like-
- Yeah, what's up?
- That's really kind, man?
- You wanna work on the broom stuff?
- Well no, I was just going to say, um,
we don't have to get into it,
but in case I get transferred
or any other weird kind of thing happens,
I heard a voice coming
out of Dream's phone.
It was a voice like the voices
I've been hearing my whole life.
I don't know if Dream, when
she jailbroke everyone's phones
so that we get service here
or like you guys get service here,
I don't know if she let something in
or something magical got into the phone,
but I heard a voice on her phone.
I didn't want to say anything
'cause it was earlier today
and I just was very self-conscious
about sharing more weird.
I know every other thing
I say is f*cking weird
so I just didn't want to
say another weird thing,
but if for whatever reason I'm not around,
that's something that happened
that should be a point
of focus and like...
- I come up, slide my arm around Evan,
pull him close, like almost
forehead to forehead.
- One, you're not going
anywhere, all right, right?
Team stays together, all right?
No transfers here.
The transfer window's closed.
Nobody's going anywhere.
[Aabria laughing]
All right, no more trades, all right?
Goat House.
There it is, all right.
And two, yeah, we're gonna
handle this together, man.
Hey, we can handle weird sh*t.
We've been through a lot.
Nobody seems to understand
except for Dr. B.
So that's how it's gonna be.
- Okay, man.
- We'll talk about this after,
I gotta understand scuppers,
but after that we're
gonna get to the bottom
of this phone business.
- You got it, man.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- All right.
Hey, Goat House on three, family on six.
[Aabria laughing]
One, two, three.
- [Brennan And Lou] Goat House!
- Four, five, six.
- [Brennan And Lou] Family!
[group members laughing]
- Adversity tokens for both of you.
- There's like, did you see that?
- I saw it, it was like, boom!
- Pow!
Okay, so there's like, you know,
just this blinding energy between you two.
There's just like such a
bromance going on right now.
- Okay, yeah, yeah.
- Oh my God.
And we think it might have
to do with your abilities.
- You mean like, with the?
I pull out Spalding.
You mean like this, like-
- Kinda.
- [Lou] Okay.
- We think that you're doing something,
a magic thing that has
nothing to do with your wand.
We think that you have the magic ability
to be able to inspire
large groups of people
and just make them feel warm and welcome
and that's why you do
so good in team sports
because as soon as people
become on your squad,
all of a sudden we get a connection.
And not like, you know, not like a,
ooh, like a connection vibes.
We get that, too, but we
get a literal connection,
and you connect all of us.
- But that's just, I mean,
but that's the team, that's
everybody doing their part.
You know, sharing the rock,
like making it happen.
I mean, that's not, I mean, yeah,
sometimes I facilitate, but that's not,
we all do that together.
- We contribute, but it's mostly you.
- I mean, maybe, I don't know.
- I mean, every team has an MVP, right?
Or some sort of sportsmanship award.
- MVP is generally like
for the whole season.
It's not one team has an MVP.
You know, it's very-
- Try again!
Hoggle's has been watching.
- Try again?
- Try to fly again.
Mm, don't sit on the back, in the middle.
- Okay, the balance, you got it.
I'm going to-
- No resistance.
Away and abound! [claps]
- We can try and help you and stuff.
- Yeah.
- And Jammer's good.
- Give it a shot.
- And I seem to begin at sort
of like helping boost, so.
- Okay, I'll make another flight check.
- And I'll, can I add my
flight, I guess that would be?
For defending or?
- Hold on, I want you to roll your flight,
and I want you to roll your charm.
- Okay.
[whimsical instrumental music]
- Eight explodes.
- Yeah!
- And that's three from over here.
- Eight explodes again.
- Whoa.
- Oh, the dice are doing it.
- That's currently-
- 16.
- 16 plus three is 19.
[triumphant music]
[chuckles] Call that a 20.
- [laughs] Yes.
- I'm gonna get on it.
It doesn't have to
happen for me, you know?
- He's talking, he
hasn't been on the ground
since he like sat in the right spot.
- Sometimes a story doesn't
have a happy ending.
And sometimes not everyone gets to fly.
And sometimes...
[group members laughing]
Sometimes you meet people,
they come into your life
and they change everything for the better.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Evan, Evan!
- You know, sometimes you're on a team
and you've just been waiting for someone
to tell you you're on a team.
Family on six, this is
the first time. [sobs]
I'll remember family on six forever.
They can erase everything else,
but they'll never be able
to erase family on six!
- Evan!
- Oh, God!
- Evan.
- Uh, I'm having a very hard time.
[all laughing]
- Evan, you just sort of,
you keep drifting upward
and after about 30 seconds
you just gently like, thunk.
And you feel the pressure
of the top of the cube.
And you could pass through
it, but you are aware.
[Brennan shouts]
- My man!
- You're doing it!
- There it is!
- I straight up didn't think
this broom would be able to.
I'm pretty sure this is a normal broom!
I don't think this broom
has any magical ingredients!
- Hey, but the man on
it is something special!
- Thanks, thanks, you're so nice.
- And I fly up and try and join.
- I think now I just
wanna explore the field
so I'm gonna try and join him at the top.
- Flight roll, difficulty of four.
It's halved now and then
the next time you roll it
you don't have to roll for it.
- Flight, I'll take half.
I just naturally get up there.
- Yeah.
- There you go.
That's it, that's Big
Aristotle right there.
- Difficulty of four?
- Oh, if you're staying up there.
Like, yeah, the next
time you attempt to fly.
- I'm gonna halve it as
well and start just going,
[laughs and shouts] oh, I don't think
there's any harmful byproduct of this!
I think this just happens!
This is an unalloyed good!
- Get up here, y'all.
- All right.
- So wow, okay.
So that was, that's like an eight total
so like, Dream goes up and starts flying
and she's like, what the, what?
There's like, all these little,
like a little flock of starlings
that started flying around
her and following her up
and is like tweetering.
- Teddy is kind of holding
the side of your hair
and has kind of made a little rig, throws.
This is beautiful.
- Come on, everyone!
- Yes, embrace yourself. [chuckles]
- I rolled so I got a
nine so I start going up
and I'm like, what's all these birds?
- So many birds, and they dive around you
and form little swirling,
swooshing patterns around you.
- Are the birds on some kind
of synchronized flying team?
What's happening?
- I don't know!
- It's called a murmuration!
[all laughing]
- Bird facts!
- I would get closer but I
don't want them to vomit blood.
You look beautiful, you
look great, you look great!
- Oh, thank you.
- We are all trying out for scuppers.
I will not hear anything else.
We're naturals, Hoggle, we the sh*t.
Are we doing this?
Do you have to do anything else?
- Hell yeah.
And then we flash forward
to a month in the future
and you all are in the
scuppers uniforms for Chimeron
about to play for first game.
- All right, y'all.
- You're up against Hercinil.
- Okay.
- So let me explain to you
how the sport works now.
- [Lou] Great.
- You haven't played that much of it
because wizards are very whimsical
and don't understand what practice is.
- Great.
- We're talking about practice.
- Just a lot of me trying
to get the other six members
of the team being like,
"Hey, we should go out
and get out there and, you
know, practice, you know?
Run some drills and stuff."
- No.
- All right, I tried.
[group members laughing]
- So 10 members on a team, two sides.
There are three ba*ls
in play at all times.
There's two big goals and
wands are out, magic is used,
but you have to telegraph the magic.
So like, it is very frowned upon to cast
without showing it because
part of it is countermagic.
And the idea here is you
can cast magic on the ba*ls,
you can cast magic on the
goals, and on your own armor
and in the air around you,
but you can't cast on another person.
So you can move the
goals wherever you want.
You're just trying to put ba*ls
through the other team's goal.
You get six points for
every time you score,
and you have three nine-minute quarters
make up a full game.
- Okay.
- Is there a ball that's
worth a bajillion points?
- There's not.
- There's not, great.
- 'Cause that's very stupid.
That's incredibly stupid to do that.
[Magical Misfits laughing]
Yeah, I hate it a bunch.
It's just a normal f*cking game.
- In the month, what is the kind of magic
to move things around?
- Oh, it's just general telekinesis.
You guys were already, like,
you were doing it pretty naturally
the first day that you were
fighting the fiery Penfrew.
- Yeah, is that a charm roll?
Yeah, what is the?
- It depends on what your intention is.
- Got it.
- And you can kind of describe it.
If I'm trying like move,
a lot of it can be brawn
if you're like, I'm
just trying to move it.
If you're trying to make it
invisible it becomes a charm.
You can shrink things,
but they all have to stay
within that 50-yard cube.
- Yeah.
- So if you like,
anytime you do a penalty to move someone
or move something out of the bounds
it takes two points off
of your team's score.
- And then just, 'cause
I definitely want to jump
into the game, but I
also just want to know,
because the last scene
that happened, very cool,
but like, do I still have
an appointment on the books?
- Yeah.
- Cool.
- Yeah, so okay, yeah, just
to catch you up with that,
there was a letter that
appeared sort of subtly
under your pillow that
night that was like,
okay, we're calling in
an exorcist specialist
so it's going to be about five weeks.
I'm so sorry, that's not me sandbagging.
- Cool, great, no worries, yeah.
So we're like a week out from-
- Yeah, exactly.
- Cool, perfect, great, great, great.
- My last question to you, Evan is,
have you spent the last month
not casting with your wand?
- Yeah, for sure.
'Cause I can fly without it, right?
- Yeah.
- Cool, so I'm flying, great.
I truly, can I be goalie or something?
- Yeah.
- I just want to be something
that like, I will just put
my face in front of the ball,
just whatever needs to happen to be like,
it's not necessary that
I be casting magic here.
- [Aabria] Yep.
- Cool, great.
- Totally don't have to.
All right.
- Cool.
- So the game begins.
You can be offense,
defense, whatever you want.
Flying is good 'cause
you can run if you want.
You will outrun everyone.
No one knows about working out.
- Yeah.
- No one moves anywhere quickly,
and there's three ba*ls
in the center of the field
like the beginning of a dodgeball game.
And a massive buzzer hits.
[buzzer buzzes]
How are you guys moving,
what are you doing?
Where are you on the field?
[dramatic instrumental music]
- I think I'm flying.
- Yeah.
- So I'm gonna fly first.
I don't know sh*t about sports.
- So you have a couple,
sorry, let me just jump in.
You have a couple options here.
Go for a ball and try to
throw the ball in somewhere.
You can start casting
offensive magic to help people.
Or you can start casting
magic to bring a goal closer
or hide your goal or change something
about the field in the world.
- Ooh, okay.
I'm gonna go for a ball.
- Yeah, perfect, okay.
This is just a full flight roll
so go ahead and give me a
flight roll difficulty of eight
to beat someone from the
other team towards the ball.
And as you fly toward it you see Tallulah.
- [sighs] It's a three.
- She like, there's no reason
'cause she's off the ground,
but she somehow kind of flicks her wand
and sends up a bunch of
turf and it flies at you
to block you as she grabs one
of the ba*ls and gets away.
- Oh, you just suck.
- Stay away from Fergus!
[Magical Misfits laughing]
- Ooh, you shouldn't have done that.
- And takes off.
- You shouldn't have done that.
- What do you do?
- So I'm playing as blocker, you know?
- Yeah.
- I'm like super hardcore defense.
Anytime a move makes,
I'm prepped for reacting
for defensive magic for
casting armor on somebody
or casting something to
help buff them in some way
whether it's speed or
agility or straight up armor.
- Nice, okay, so you
now see that Tallulah's
got like a little flying
V of four students,
just streaks of red headed towards you
and Evan who's standing in the goal.
And you see that off to the
side, you can't tell who it is
'cause there's kind of like
a little mask situation,
that one of them taps themselves
on the shoulder padding
and all of their armor
just alights in flame.
And then the other three do it, too
and there is just a barrelling
fireball headed towards you.
What do you do?
- So I snap my wand out.
And we all have mist-based armor suddenly
that tendrils will wrap around
any heat that comes your way.
- I will remind you, you
can cast on yourself.
You can't cast on other people.
- Oh, okay.
I'll put it on myself and
sort head straight into it.
- Okay, are you trying to take the ball?
Are you trying to knock
out their formation?
Give me something to do and
I'll give you a roll for it.
- I am going to knock the formation out
so I just square myself and
then the mist is going to,
if all goes correctly, sort
of consume all the fire.
- Ooh, that feels like that's a body move
so give me a brawn roll
difficulty of nine.
- Could I do grit because
it's just defending?
- Oh sh*t, grit roll, difficulty of nine.
- Okay, all right, and is
this magic, do magic or?
- Yeah, you're casting a spell.
- Okay.
That makes...
[dramatic instrumental music]
- Beautiful.
Do you have any adversity tokens?
'Cause remember, a
success of five or better
gets exponentially better.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
How much, what was it?
- You're one away.
- Okay, yeah, all right, I'll burn that.
- So you tap your own
armor and it goes to mist.
And then you narrow your eyes
and the mist comes off of you
in this massive wave and
as they pass through you
it extinguishes all of their armor.
- It's pink and it's glitter.
- God.
- It's like a glitter cloud.
- It was cool and then it became-
- Like a wet glitter cloud
'cause to me it's like,
okay, this is gonna be
this amazing red mist
and then it comes out and
it's just like a pink fart.
- Yeah.
- Like, no!
- It's pink.
[group laughing]
She shot it away from me now.
And everyone's just
kind of passes through.
All of their armor's out.
And in that moment you're
able to knock the ball
out of Tallulah's grip.
- Uh-huh.
- And you got it.
- Yeah.
- So what do you want to do with it?
- All right, I-
- What are you up to?
- I pass it off to Jammer.
- Yeah.
- I think I grab it, look back at Dream
and Evan confidently on
defense, see Sam moving forward,
maybe yell at a couple
of other Chimeron players
and it's like, all right, pass and go!
And I think I just start
trying to shovel pass the ball,
get past the defender, get
it back, give it to Sam,
trying to start networking
us getting closer to the goal
with whatever offensive Chimeron
players are more forward.
- All right, I need a charm roll.
We're gonna say difficulty of nine.
- Okay, great.
- You're sort of give and go.
- We need to explode.
- It's real good.
- And we can do that.
[dramatic instrumental music]
That's a five.
That's a five and I can't get
there with adversity tokens.
- How many do you need?
- I would need two.
- Boom.
- You, as you're part of
this formation you blink
and then you blink again
and your eyes go over,
fully mirrored and now
you have this view out
and you see the tethers between.
And you can pull them as you pass by.
And where someone wasn't quite listening
and not really over their
shoulder you tug it just enough
and their attention goes back to Jammer,
the team captain, and you are
literally keeping everyone
in line as they go over and
through and you guys score.
You had all three ba*ls at this point
so you guys shot up by a ton.
- Aw, hell yeah!
That's it right there,
that's it right there!
- Team Goat!
- Team Goat!
Team goat, and then one of
them falls off their broom.
- Teddy has little horns and
he's painted up his face.
- [Aabria] [laughs] Yes!
- He's like, yay!
- This is amazing!
You're wonderful and beautiful
and it smells like cotton candy in here!
[Erika laughs and groans]
Evan, after that score you
see both Digby and Fergus
have picked up two of the ba*ls
and they are barreling toward you.
And everyone else from
Hercinil's team has dropped back
and are playing just a beastly defense
to give these two the opportunity
'cause these are the heroes of the story
and they're allowing them a big moment.
So you have two very strong
players barreling down on you.
What do you want to do as they wind back?
- I make eye contact with Jammer.
You mess with the goat, you get the horns!
- Not in this house!
- Not in this house!
Eat trash, beat trash, go, go!
[all laughing]
- We didn't practice, but we
did get some trash talk out
and I'm feeling good about that!
- So after yelling,
"Eat trash, beat trash,"
I'm gonna, Evan is just,
I think that's the thing
is that like, Evan knows these
f*cking private school kids
are soft so he's like,
"Oh, you got a wand?
I'm gonna hit you as hard as I can."
- Yes!
- I'm not scared of hurting my body.
And I'm just gonna make, it's
no magic, just a fight check
to smash my broom into both of them.
Like, I have a broom that is cheaper.
They got those expensive f*cking brooms.
It's like, yeah, oh so it's
like you want to trade paint?
I got a f*cking rented jalopy.
[group laughing]
Like, let's go.
Oh, are you gonna f*ck up my push broom?
Oh, no.
And I'm just gonna make a fight check
to knock 'em both out of the sky.
- Oh my God.
- Now, my struggle here
is I know what you are
dealing with die-wise
and I have to make you roll for this.
I have to.
So I'm gonna say that
this is a fight check to-
- I can't have this, in other words.
- No, no, no.
- Okay.
- Mm, it doesn't matter,
that plus eight is sizable.
This is a fight check of 20.
- Fight check of 20, cool.
[Erika shouts]
Let's see.
- Because you are trying to body
with just your mundane sensibilities.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- Like two very strong
wizards barreling down on you.
- Cool.
- Now, you fought adults
in a gas station.
- Yeah.
- Never forget those parking lots.
- Petrol, petrol stations.
- Mm-mm, never.
- Would you say this
is an opportunity where
you would your common f*cking
sense to try to hit hard?
- I think that's part of what
it is, too, is it's like,
you m*therf*ckers think that like, oh God,
your wands, congratulations.
I'm gonna hit you so hard.
It's that vibe of like, yeah,
it is a common sense thing
of like, you've forgotten
that you have a body
and you're in physical space
and this game is not just
like. [laughs jovially]
- And you're adding your common sense die.
- Okay, we're gonna use
the common sense die first.
That's a two.
- Okay.
[Brennan sighs]
- And for what it's worth
you have to get a 10.
- That's 10.
- 10 or higher.
[players cheering]
That is a 24.
- Oh!
- Amazing, you know what?
You describe what happens.
They pincer in on you 'cause they think
they're going to like,
come in and swing at you
with a magical spell that
it takes longer to cast
than it does to swing
your body, what happens?
- Yeah, I am going to,
I look up in the air.
I look up at Jammer who's
been here for a month,
many late night practices.
This is the one part, this
is the one piece of magic
in my life that has ever felt good
that Jammer showed me how to do.
As they pincer I go like,
"Oh no, they're getting closer together."
[all laughing]
And I go from sitting in the middle
like I've learned how to
do and I zoom forward,
jump off the broom, keep it
held and stand on the push bar
so I'm perfectly vertical
just like an upside-down T
flying at them and wheel out
almost like I'm on a Segway
and wheel out and literally
brushes across the face
and slam down on the
fronts of their brooms
to just knock them out of the f*cking air.
And I go like, [mimics impacts
landing] "Yeah, f*ck you!
Did you finish your Latin,
you stupid dumbasses?
Did you say your full Latin phrase
to do a spell, you piece of sh*t?
Chimeron forever baby, f*ck you!"
- And the entire school absent Hercinil,
loses their mind at you.
And in the pandemonium,
those of you that hung back
and just watched this
happen, I'm gonna need,
I'm gonna call this,
let's call it a grit roll
difficulty of 12 to notice
something interesting
happening in the corner.
- I got a three, way too excited
about my man just bodying people.
Should have stayed on that
f*cking island, Digby!
[Brennan cheers]
Should have stayed on the f*cking island!
[Brennan shouting]
[Aabria laughing]
- Ooh, I exploded.
- I'm sorry, yeah.
Adversity token.
- So that's 10.
- I got a dirty 20.
[Brennan gasps]
- You're the only one
that notices as Tallulah
from the very back pulls out her wand
and looks like she's going
back to tie her laces
and she levels her wand deadass
at the center of Evan's chest
and is going to attempt to fire
off a very offensive spell.
So what do you want to do about it
'cause this is now going
to be an opposed roll
between you and I, and I am
bringing out the Box of Doom.
[players gasping]
[players vocalizing]
I'm so excited to try and
k*ll Brennan's character
with his own box!
[Brennan screams]
[all laughing]
- Damn.
- And so just reflexively,
Dream shoots her wand out and
throws up a protection spell,
like the most powerful pinkest bubble.
- Okay, so a protection
spell, I'm gonna call that-
- But, but it involves me,
it's cast on me not on him.
It's like pure defense, like...
- So you're casting a
defensive spell on yourself?
- Just like, but involves me like,
I put everything, like my
body and my mind on the line.
- So are you trying to
teleport in front of Evan
to take this?
- Yes, yes.
- All right, let's call
that a flight roll then.
- Oh...
- This is a snap decision.
No one else can help
with adversity tokens.
Roll as high as you can.
Not grit.
- Not grit?
- It's flight to get there.
You're trying to beat
another spell in the air
to get in front of him,
and then it's a grit
to resolve it if it hits you.
- Okay.
- You got this, you got it.
- You got it.
- Let me get my sweet Box of Doom out.
I'm so excited for this.
[Brennan screams]
You roll first, you're
setting the difficulty.
- Okay, and I get to
also, since I'm defending
use my magic dice.
- Yep.
- Okay.
Oh no, oh no, it's real bad.
[dramatic instrumental music]
Okay, but wait, I get
to reroll my magic dice.
- Good.
- Thank God.
- It's real bad though.
Oh no, it's still real bad.
Oh no!
It's a three, it's a three,
I got a three, oh my God.
- It's Tallulah's fight is a d10 plus one.
So all I have to do is get a three,
and I get to roll a magic die, too.
- [Erika] Oh no.
- Impossible for you to miss.
- It's impossible for me to miss.
It's just gonna be interesting to see
by how much I hit you.
- Okay.
- And if I get both of you in the process.
- Gotcha.
- All right, this is very, very exciting.
That's an eight.
And because I beat your
difficulty by more than five-
- [Erika] [gasps] This is real bad.
- This is gonna be very fun
for me, thank you so much.
- [Erika] Uh-huh.
- So kind.
- It was going so great.
That was such a sick moment.
We were doing so much sick sh*t.
- I'm gonna give you, a
question for both of you.
Now, you, I'm gonna say, do
you want to be there or not?
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- Okay.
So you're standing there.
You have no idea why, but all
of a sudden in like a flurry
of sparkly pink cotton candy-scented mist
Dream stands in front of
you, arms outstretched.
Everything moves into b*llet time.
You're not sure why,
but you are overwhelmed
by a sense of dread in this moment
even though you're mid-yelling a bunch
of very well-ex*cuted sh*t talk.
[Brennan laughing]
And the voices in your
head reach out and say,
"Something terrible is coming, Evan,
and not just for you.
[Brennan sighs]
Can I help?
Just a little, please?"
- If I can, in b*llet time I go,
"Who else is it coming for?"
- You know who.
- I look at Dream in front of me.
How bad?
- Real bad.
- You can help?
- And [laughs] all of that
pink disappears around you.
It is suddenly turned over to black.
You are finally in your
edgy moment as you disappear
and Evan disappears and
a little dark, blue bolt
hits one of the edges of
the goals and explodes it.
It shatters.
You see a bunch of students
dive out of the way.
They get ripped up and cut up
by this metal shrapnel
that goes everywhere.
Where would you have
moved both of you to be?
- I think it's full surrender.
I think that it's b*llet
time and like, you know,
I've done everything.
I've spent a month not casting magic
so I think when the voice
says, "Do you want help?"
I'm just like, "Yeah."
It's almost like a monkey's
paw thing of just like,
if I give you a request
you're just gonna twist it
to be cruel to me so just
do what you're gonna do.
But if it's a place that's like,
the place I probably feel the most joy
is the common room where
we sleep here, you know,
or like our dormitory.
- So yeah, you both appear
just at that first booth
that you sat on on your first night here.
Evan, your wand is out.
You didn't grab it, but
it's out, it's fully formed
'cause you cannot stop
me from giving you this
even though you tried.
- I don't even know if
this one's exciting.
I'm excited.
- The whole time.
- I am so scared.
- There's a little bit of
tear, a little bit of tear.
- Thank you very much.
- Uh-huh.
- I held out as long as I could.
- You did.
[dramatic instrumental music]
- What are you going to be?
- Oh God, how does it feel?
[Aabria laughs]
- Paint me a word picture.
- It was fun to feel the foam on mine.
It was cool to feel that and
see when it was, but yeah.
[Erika gasps]
- Oh my God.
- Holy sh*t.
- [laughs] Now I hate that grip.
- God, that's nasty.
- Is that a bone?
- It looks kind of like a bone.
- That's bone, dude, that's straight bone.
That's bone, and honestly
it looks like it got a little
muscle tissue on there.
- Some of that pink meat.
- Yeah, that's that pink meat.
- Pink meat.
Evan, how do you look
different permanently now
as the price of the
voice has asked of you?
- I'm standing in a corner of the room
where a shadow from one of
the wall sconces is there.
Where the shadow cuts
a line across my face,
that just goes black and is
leaking black oil and water,
like forming some bubbles leaking back
into endless darkness behind me.
So the back half of my body is just liquid
stretching off into darkness.
Those tendrils are leaking around my face
into the corners of my eyes
that are swelling around
and starting to close up my eyes.
And I think all the water
is starting to leave my body
so my skin is getting,
I'm like very red and flushed and sweaty.
That's all going away and
it's just going white.
And moisture is leaving
it so it's clinging
to my bones a little harder
and there's less water
in my skin and my muscle.
And it looks like something
behind me is eating me.
And I think as I'm holding
the wand shaking here
that something starts to
spread across my chest
sort of massaging my collar bone
and it's the shadow of two
hands trying to pull me-
- You don't get to say no to this.
They'll all die with or without you.
You could be strong
enough to protect them.
[dramatic instrumental music]
- Is the threat to them
me or something else?
- And you just hear laughter in reply.
- Dream, on the other hand,
has come out of that mist
and she has lost the black
lipstick, the eye makeup.
There's a healthy flush to her cheeks.
Her scene hair with the
chunky, red and black bangs
and the skunk stripes has
grown out into luscious,
full, healthy, Pantene
commercial-style locks.
It's glowing.
It's just like she's sparkly.
All of her, the scenester
outfit under her robes
has transfigured into a
pink crushed velvet dress.
She is just, like, there's
this incredible glow.
Her nose is more buttony
than it was before,
[Aabria laughing]
her head a little rounder.
Evan...
- I'm sorry, I'm not
very softboy right now.
[Aabria laughing]
- You look incredibly hot. [sighs]
- Dream, can I be honest
with you for a second?
[group members laughing]
A lot of-
- Please.
- It's really hard for me.
I think you're so cool,
and I really want to be friends with you,
and I really like you a lot,
but all of your favorite things about me
are my least favorite things about myself.
So it feels bad all the time
because everything you like about me
is the stuff I want gone.
[soft instrumental music]
- Well, that's entirely fair.
I believe that I've been
romanticizing this sort of image
of you here.
[Brennan growls ominously]
Oh, but really, in reality,
I think that I was deeply
uncomfortable with myself
and the things that you seem
to find so attractive about me.
I think now that maybe I've
accepted them a little bit more
that maybe we can come at
this and look at each other
and the strengths that we really do have.
I mean, you're brave and you're kind
and you subjected yourself
to going full Venom
and not just kind of cute
Tom Hardy to save me is so,
I mean, while perhaps, you know,
this sort of Kylo Ren to my
Rey or the Sasuke to my Sakura
or my Sherlock to my-
- I'm a real guy!
I'm a real guy!
- No, it's true.
And perhaps I can move past that now
and we can see the things about each other
that are real and genuine.
[Brennan inhales raspily]
[Erika giggles cutely]
[soft instrumental music]
- Deep down, whether you're
wearing black fishnet,
crushed pink velvet, you're
the person who fixed my leg
without thinking about it,
and I don't think that whatever you wear
is ever gonna cover up how
good of a person you are.
Wear whatever you like.
It doesn't matter if
your heart is perfect.
- Cutting in on this because it's too good
and you can't keep doing it.
Back onto the field, yeah.
[Brennan laughing]
- What, what?
[all laughing]
- Just stop the game.
We can go and say that
stopped the game like, oh.
So Headmistress Philtrum is
now in the center of the field
and goes, "The game's, we're
going to power it down.
Don't know what happened there.
No way to find out what.
There's some missing students.
Things got a little weird.
We're going to call it, score where it is
and end the game here."
And I need the two of you,
I want a combined grit roll.
- We got this.
- I'm gonna set the difficulty,
I'll just roll the difficulty.
All right, you have to beat a 13.
- Okay.
- If you beat a 13, y'all win the game.
- Two.
- One.
[Aabria laughing]
- You guys were on your
way to score more points,
but Philtrum came through and stopped it
before you would have
taken those last two goals
to win the game and she calls it and says,
"Hercinil's the winner,
we're stopping here.
Everyone go home to your brooms
and we'll set out a search party
to find Mr. Kelmp, Ms. Tanaka.
That was weird."
And she's like, all of this
faculty are following her lead
and powering everything down
and ushering students out
and away so you two are free
to do whatever you want to do.
- I'll fly over to Sam.
That's absolute bullshit,
the fact that they called
the game like that.
I mean, I could get
real heated about that,
but our friends are missing.
- Yeah, we should go find them, but still,
I can retain this anger.
I'll just put it away and
then I'll come back to it.
[Aabria laughing]
- Yeah, we're gonna put this
out in the world in some other way.
- Yeah.
- They gonna catch these hands.
- They gonna catch these hands.
- They gonna catch these hands.
All right, let's go find
our friends. [laughs]
- Let's see, do you want to do
anything to try to find them
or are you just headed off in a direction?
Because they fully disappeared.
- Oh, should we send a note?
- Yeah, if I send a note
to, I look over to Sam,
can I send this note
and then we use our brooms to chase it?
You think that?
Let's try that.
- Let's try that.
That sounds good.
- Yeah, I'm gonna slip
out a piece of parchment,
write, "what's up" on it.
[Brennan and Aabria laughing]
And I'm actually, I'll rip up two.
Or I'll take the first
one and rip it half.
Do you think this is how
you make a group chat?
And I'm gonna think of Dream
and Evan and send it off.
- Perfect, they sh**t off.
These ones, no roll required.
They sh**t off, they streak away.
And you kind of turn around
while you're waiting for some
sort of response, both of you
and you see that Hercinil,
even though the crowd
is doing the little stupid
chant, they're doing the lineups,
like give good games and
you actually see that Cleo
and Fergus are in the front of
their respective team's lines
ready to do a little handoff.
- Hey, you wanna, real quick,
and then we'll get 'em.
- Yeah, let's just go.
- Just quick.
They gonna catch these hands.
- Yeah.
- And we're gonna find our finds.
- But we should say hi first.
- You wanna do this real quick?
- Why wouldn't we just be pleasant?
- Why shouldn't we?
We have the time, I think.
- I think we got the time.
- I think we got the time.
- Yeah.
- Come on, it's Evan.
- It's Evan.
- And it's Dream.
- They'll be fine.
- I mean, come on.
- Five minutes.
- Five minutes.
- The Oggles are like, "Wait,
are we going over there?
Like no, they like cheated and."
- Real quick, you gotta,
it's the sportsmanship.
- Wait, there was a lot of energy
that you were like, "f*ck those guys."
- And we're going to retain
that and use it later, Oggles.
- Just hide it away,
just put it down deep.
- They gonna catch these hands.
[Aabria sighs]
Yeah, there you go.
- [Aabria] Okay, okay, good game.
- It's just an appointment, that's all.
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
- We made an appointment.
- We made an appointment.
Yeah, I think we fly down and
I think, who, Fergus is first?
- Yeah, we'll go Fergus, Cleo,
random people who don't get names,
and then Digby and Tallulah.
[Danielle groans]
- Yeah, I think we get into it.
I think I do a very light one for Fergus
and then just full stop the line at Cleo.
- Yeah.
- Yeah! [claps]
- She's like, good-
- Hey, uh, good game.
- Hey, thanks, you too.
- Yeah, no, I mean, this was really
like the first full game of
scuppers I've ever played,
but yeah, I think we
did all right, you know.
My man's, I mean, you
know, you saw everyone.
We kinda handled it,
but y'all played well.
You're pretty good.
- Oh my God, thanks.
- How long you been playing?
- Oh, like, I mean now like,
is this the time for this conversation?
- I just, I don't know.
You know, you played
really well and I'd love
to get some tips sometime.
- Thank you.
- If you like, you know, you're around
and just wanna play, you know,
show me your moves and
something, you know?
- I'll take you to school,
little boy, absolutely.
And she gives you a little shoulder bump
and then keeps going down the line.
- I dip out of the line 'cause
I look at the next person
and go, "f*ck you."
[all laughing]
- Yeah!
- And fully step out of the line.
- Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
- Amazing, all right, Fergus is up first.
You're second in line.
- So yeah, I just go up to Fergus.
We're not being polite anymore.
I just go up to Fergus and I'm like,
"Hey, that was a really good game."
- Oh, yes, it was, mm-hmm.
[soft instrumental music]
And he looks really uncomfortable.
It's that mixture of happy to see you
and uncomfortable at this moment.
- But you know, that's all I wanted.
I just wanted to say that
you had a really good game
and it was really fun.
- Yeah, we don't normally do the like,
talking in the line thing, uh, good job.
And he just kind of puts
his hand out awkwardly
to shake your hand.
- And I go and I take the awkward shake.
I'm just like, yeah,
no, it was really good.
- You come away with a note in your hand.
- Okay, I will talk to you later.
- Yeah, good game, I'm
going down the line.
- Good game.
- Oh, that dude just left.
Whatever, bad sport, and like keeps going.
And you see him kind of looking
over his shoulder weirdly.
And as you're kind of standing
there, you receive the note
Cleo gives you a little shoulder
bump as she keeps going.
She's like, "You need to
look out for those last two.
You know what, all three of them."
And then keeps going down the line.
- Okay, so I guess I open the note.
- Yeah.
- I open the note.
- It's, next week meet for drinks?
- I look up and see if I
can kind of catch his eye.
- Oh, he's 100% like.
Yeah!
And he tries to play it off like,
I'm excited that we won the game.
And you just see his whole
face go bright red, so pleased
and moves back and catches
up with Tallulah and Digby
and they recircle and
you see him lean over
and he seems to be growling
something at Tallulah.
And she's like, "We won and it's fine."
And they kind of move off to the side.
- All right.
- How'd it go?
- I think I got a date.
- Yeah, me too.
- Hey!
- Hey, there it is.
But they gonna catch these-
- Hoggle's like, yeah has it?
- No, that was for all of us.
- No, no, I mean, you know, man.
I mean, you're more than welcome.
If you get a date we
could all cheer together
but that's kinda like a
pilot thing, you know?
- That's all right.
- Yeah, you know.
- That's okay.
- It was great, we did good.
We would have won if we
kept playing but like-
- 100%.
- Yeah, I got a little
bit of metal in my arms
so I'm gonna go deal, hey, you know what?
And he just pulls it out, ow.
- Damn. [laughs]
Respect, respect on that.
- Yeah, I'll get that in a
second, but that was great.
And we normally get our
asses kicked so thanks.
- Hey, this is gonna
be different this year.
- It's fine, yeah, 100%.
- Well, we're gonna go find our friends.
- Yeah, good luck, that was weird.
- That was weird as hell.
- That was weird.
- Yeah, but that feels,
hey, we've been here
for a month now so I think
this stuff's all becoming,
insane things happening is I think less
of like a whoa moment and being like a,
there we go again, kind of thing.
- See, now you kind of get
when you were first here
and you were like, it was
big reactions to everything
and we were like, [scoffs] brand new.
- Yeah, now it's like something explodes,
our friends disappear I'm like,
well, let me go talk to this
cutie real quick and then.
- Exactly, oh, you get
it, you're wizards now.
- Yeah, exactly.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Well, I guess we're wizards now.
- I guess we're wizards now.
- Tight.
- Damn.
- Okay, well, we're gonna go.
- Yeah.
- Good luck with friends
and we'll catch you later.
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
- And as you guys kind of just generally
'cause you are being
ushered by the faculty
off of the scuppers field.
Like, a note comes back.
You never got a note.
Your interaction happened,
but a note comes back
that just says common room.
- Great.
- All right.
- There we go.
- Let's go to the common room.
- So we head off.
- Yeah.
- And we're gonna say time dilation.
You guys didn't appear
immediately in the common room
so your friends are
kind of able to catch up
as you've having a conversation.
I'm just gonna poof you
all back together again
at roughly this time.
[Brennan inhales raspily]
- Oh.
- Oh, that's what we're doing.
- Wow!
- I didn't know.
- There seems to be some sort of issue.
- Is that, are y'all, who's?
You are...
- Please help. [giggles joyfully]
- I don't know.
- Do we wand this away?
- Yeah, is this a wand one?
- No, I believe that
this is sort of innate,
perhaps possession issue.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Are the voices still?
Like, what am I feeling in this moment?
Because I had a heart to heart with Dream.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- And Sam and Jammer have just come in.
Am I feeling that the situation
is worsening, it's like-
- It's not really worsening.
You're like in a hold pattern
and something needs to happen
or something's going to happen to you.
- All right.
- And it's kind of a, like,
you feel that pressure on you.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- But there's no pull yet,
but you can feel the tension.
- Gotcha, and Nurse Bizshift, sorry.
- Stitchnit.
- Stitchnit.
- Yeah.
- Oh, Stitchnit, that's great.
[group members laughing]
Nurse Stitchnit, yes.
I'm gonna look up and
say, [inhales raspily]
you guys, I'm sorry, did we win?
- No, it was a technicality, but we won-
- What, that's bullshit, bullshit!
- It is but we won in other
ways that we can get into later.
- That's bullshit, they can't
call the game like that!
- Hey, don't worry, they
gonna catch these hands.
We made an appointment.
- [growls] I will make
them catch every hand
under the Sun!
- Yes, indeed!
- Take all of their hands.
- I could take their hands away
and make them catch their own hands.
- We gotta do something.
[all laughing]
- Uh, hey, hey bud.
- Can you guys check,
go get Nurse Stitchnit.
My appointment's not till next week,
but we gotta move it up.
- What, appointment?
- Um, checkup, physical.
- By the way, there
was a lot of really low
sub-hearing rumble sounds
that all just cut out
as he begins to lie.
- Um, well-
- Okay, I guess we have an appointment.
- Okay, let's take him to the nurse.
- Yeah, I think with everything,
we should just find an adult in general.
- Yeah, just-
- Where are they at any time?
- So we start going towards it,
but I'd like to look on my working phone.
- It works.
- And doing a search
for any sort of folklore
or anything because,
like, look, J. K. Rowling-
- Never heard of her.
- Came up with a lot of this stuff like,
I feel like some sort of
r*cist, transphobic wizard
did a tell-all or something
and we're getting little bits
and pieces of this so like, if different,
through literature or
Criss Angel Mindfreak shows
we have gotten glimpses
of the magical world
perhaps there's something
in here than can help us.
- Brains roll, add your
common f*cking sense.
Difficulty of 18, this is wild.
- Oh, God.
[dice tap table]
[Erika sighs]
Oh no, yeah, there's no way.
- How many, what do you, how many?
- Five, I got a five.
- It's okay, take an adversity token.
Everything you're seeing
is the beginnings.
Like, what the r*cist,
transphobic authoress got to
was the edges of deeper black magic
that's beyond individual volition.
And you're getting close to,
you're skirting the outside
of what is actually going on with Evan.
- As I see Dream do that
I want to do like a,
you know Agent Smith head
where it's like many,
he goes, [gurgles] with a bunch of heads.
- Yeah!
- Just go like, [gurgles]
"Oh, little girl,
you think you can find
me in a book somewhere?"
- I'm not afraid of you.
- Oh, that's your first mistake. [snarls]
- Uh, should, hey, hey, hi.
- How are you, Sam?
[all laughing]
- Hey, how's it going?
- Good.
- I'm going to, 'cause
this is getting real scary,
I think I'm gonna try to
charm whatever is making-
- [Aabria] Mm-hmm.
- Hey, so you, the scary voice,
you don't get to come out too often.
That must be really exciting for you.
But right now we just
kind of need Kelmp back
so if you could just give us our Kelmp.
- Charm roll, difficulty of 20.
- Difficulty of 20.
- Oh hell yeah.
- Yeah, you're talking to
what I could best amalgamate
is either like a biblical
angel or a dark god.
So like, cool, for sure,
just like, be nice.
[Danielle laughing]
Be nice to it.
- Mm, mm, 15.
- Can, oh, I don't have enough.
- Does someone wanna-
- Oh, should I use mine?
- Yeah, you can use your own.
- Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
All of 'em.
- All of them.
- All of them.
- I mean, this feels
like worth it, dark god.
- This feels worth it, dark god, yeah.
- And your eyes that had
gone over to mirrors,
like, you didn't know it was happening
and no one else noticed it
'cause you were in the flux of play.
You blink and then you blink again
and your entire eyes go
over as a silver mirror
and everyone can see it
and you turn your head
to look more directly at like,
you can see all of those faces now,
six in total, different,
distinct, and Evan is one of them,
but not the one that was talking to you.
And as you turn your face,
a silver mirrored version
of your own head splits from you own.
So you all see Sam's face
still kind of looking
and then the mirror face
directly addresses some
of the dark beings.
I'll just let you do that.
That's fine, you guys know
what you're doing, go ahead.
- Uh, hey, there's a lot of heads here.
I wasn't expecting so many heads,
but if you want to just
kinda like chill for a second
and give us back Kelmp.
- We chose Kelmp.
We found him first.
He is ours and was promised to us.
- Okay, well, we gonna
have to break that promise
'cause we found Kelmp and
he is our best friend,
and I don't know you so...
[all laughing]
- Yes, yes.
- Yo!
I mean, you already
successfully did this roll.
- Black women are the best!
- Please take two adversity tokens.
- We don't know you.
- And one of the five that's not Evan
kind of gives you a look,
ma'am, and disappears.
- I think Evan-
- Yeah.
- Like, [retches] from
shadow and reaches a hand out
as much as possible toward Sam.
- For sure.
You were able to, I'm not
getting in the way of this, go!
- Oh hey, that's a hand.
[Brennan gurgling]
- Oh, where did the other guy go?
- I think, dude, they bailed on you.
- The f*ck?
- Now it's just you.
- Uh, I honestly wasn't paying attention
to what was said, but Kelmp is ours.
Did he mention that Kelmp is ours or did-
- Yeah, he did and then I was
like, it was a whole thing.
You probably should have
been paying attention.
- Okay.
- But it's okay
because like, now your friend bailed.
Don't you want to just
go with your friend?
Why are you hanging out
here by yourself, lonely?
- Hold up, do y'all wanna do anything
while you see this happen?
- I, yeah-
- Jammer, we simply must do something!
- I didn't know if I could
have grabbed Evan's hand.
- Yes, we must. [claps]
- I didn't want to interrupt this flow.
- [Aabria] Yeah, that's fair.
- But if, when Evan's hand comes out,
I would love to reach
out and try and grab it
if that's possible.
- Yeah.
Feels like a Brawn roll
to me, difficulty of,
[dramatic instrumental music]
no, we're gonna make this hard.
It's a difficulty of 20.
- Okay.
- [Aabria] To grab him out from this.
- That's pretty, that's
weighty, that's weighty.
[die taps table]
That's only an 11.
- Okay, you reach out that first time.
You're not really sure
and you can't quite see
what Sam sees, but you saw
a flicker of opportunity.
You look down and you
actually see the thread
between you and Evan and you
followed it and you reached out
and you were half a second too late.
It's not over and the
difficulty will change
every time you make an attempt.
- I think we can get him out.
I think we can do this.
- Okay.
- Yes, we'll follow your lead.
- Yeah, and Sam, I
think you keep doing it.
Dream, I think we just
wait for our opportunity.
- Okay.
- Okay.
So hey, again, like, don't you want
to just go hang out with your friends
instead of hanging out here?
- [growls] What you need to understand
is that Evan was presented with a choice.
He agreed to lean on our
aid to save the girl, Dream.
- Okay, but he's a minor,
so that contract is invalid.
- [Brennan mimics expl*si*n] And mist.
[all laughing]
Was that, is that four left?
- Yep, down to four.
Four bad boys left.
- Um...
- Hold on, before we do that,
I need Evan to make a flight roll.
Let's say the difficulty's an eight.
- [inhales sharply] Here we go.
One.
- You see a flicker of a hand
and it's quickly covered over
and pulled back in.
- Hey, I am Grasphlax.
The other two guys they were...
- You don't have to use those, it's fine.
- What's that?
- You don't have to introduce us.
I don't want to talk to her.
[Brennan laughing]
She's really scary.
- No, I should, wait-
- No, she's really scary.
- Listen, I'm-
- I don't want to.
- The f*cking main guy left.
I don't know what you want me to say.
- Yeah, go, do it.
You're holding the wand, I don't-
- Uh, hi.
- Hi, sorry, we're, uh.
- Don't look it, do not perceive me.
- Are you gonna one time-
- And one guy just fades back
into that shadow, just disappears.
- Afraid, that was three
of us, great, okay.
- Okay, so I mean,
everyone else is leaving.
You don't have to hang
out here if you don't.
It sounds like you don't want to be here.
- No, I want to be here.
- There's two left.
- Listen, do you want to,
actually, here's a great idea.
And then maybe we settle it this way.
We can give you Kelmp.
Do you want to trade your soul?
- Um...
- [Aabria] As you think, yeah.
- Mr. Grampox, Gramgalda?
- Yep.
- And I'm so sorry.
- No, it's still really fine.
- Well, thank you
[Brennan growling]
for all of your help, but I'm
going to need you to leave.
As she reaches out and
touches the Evan face
and tries to dispel, and
dispel magic is grit-based.
- Yep.
- And yeah, okay.
And I have my broom so
we still have our brooms.
- Yes.
- So...
- Hold on.
[dice taps table]
You just rolled 'em without a difficulty.
- Oh.
- Actually, you know what?
No, f*ck it, it's a secret difficulty.
Go ahead, you just tell me.
- Okay, all right so magic is
three.
[stirring instrumental music]
Oh, I don't know the
difficulty so that's five.
Here we go.
- You're so close.
- And then...
[Brennan laughing]
I'm gonna burn
six, six adversity tokens.
[Brennan cackling]
- For a total of?
- 30...
- 30?
- 33?
- 23.
- No, 23, 23, 23, 23.
- 23.
- And that literally five
above the difficulty.
[players cheering]
You reach forward and
you touch Evan's face
and everything goes still.
- Hey, what, I...
And is that all of the last three gone.
- They're not gone, they
are frozen in this moment
looking at the three of
you in horror and shock.
- Hey, um, by the way, you
know a couple weeks ago
when you gave that hug, I
hope it wasn't weird or like,
I didn't know where to put my hands
so I just sort of put them on
the tops of your shoulders.
- I'm going to be honest with you
I have never really touched a
person that I have a crush on.
- What's that?
- Just grab him.
- Yeah, no-
- This is the wrong time for this!
And I'd like to grab him by his shoulders
and just full on fall
out, try and wrench him
from whatever he's in.
- And with a like [gasps]
the shadows disappear
and the room is silent is still
and you have your friend back.
[Brennan sobbing]
[epic instrumental music]
I throw the wand away. [panting]
- Hey, bud.
- You saved,
you, literally, the main guy!
He's the biggest as*h*le
out of all of them.
I say he, I don't know.
He's f*cking an eldritch
being from beyond time.
You like, truly ran him the f*ck off.
I've been trying to do
that for 17 and 1/2 years.
You're incredible, thank you so much.
- Oh, we're just happy to have you back.
[Brennan sobs softly]
- Yeah, you're back, man.
Are they still there or do we?
- They have always existed
and will always exist, but-
- Grit roll, difficulty of six.
- Ooh.
- Grit roll difficulty of six.
- [Aabria] Yep.
- Um, sorry.
- No you can't, you have to roll.
[Brennan laughing]
[electric buzzing resounds]
- 10 explodes.
- Oh my.
- 17.
- Oh my God.
In that moment, as you were
just sort of explaining
the thing that's been true
about you your whole life,
you pause between words and realize
that you don't hear it,
that sense of low-level noise
of crowdedness inside you.
[Brennan breathing heavily]
- So that always exists, but
like, are they like, here?
- I don't think they're here anymore.
That's the first time they
haven't been here in a long time.
You guys are, you guys.
I can't believe I was lucky
enough to meet you guys.
I can't believe I was lucky
enough to meet you guys.
You pulled me out of there.
You ran those guys off
and you broke the spell.
[warm instrumental music]
I...
- Dream runs out and holds
his head in her hands
and she kisses him.
- I kiss back and just so,
but like, I think I do the full hand.
It's like, so happy for a kiss and like,
I don't know where to touch
your body and hands back.
- Yeah, and Dream does
like a little leg pop.
- Leg pop!
And with like a-
- [Erika] 'Cause like,
she's five foot nothing
and he's like six foot
and so it's just like-
- [Brennan] Craned over, arms just back.
- [Erika] The awkwardest
f*cking first kiss ever.
- Terminator 2 kind of
stumbles out, just looks up,
walks over towards you like-
- Pick up Terminator
- Oh my God, I have
such a big crush on you,
but I was just like-
- I've never really actually,
I talk a big game because
I read a lot of fanfiction,
but I really honestly don't know anything.
And I don't even know
if any of the fanfiction
that those people write are
even accurate, anatomically.
- I was sort of like, I was just like,
I was so happy just to have
friends that it was like,
it's almost like you go
to a fancy restaurant
for the first time and you get breadsticks
and you're like, I'm
not gonna order a meal.
I haven't had bread in forever.
- Yeah, and you just fill up on it.
- Jammer, you hear a
little clearing of a throat
and you see a massive,
bright, bubblegum pink man
kind of looking like, "I
got brought in a while ago."
- Oh, hello, you must-
- Oh, oh.
- [Aabria] I don't know if that's-
- You must be the nurse!
- Nurse Stitchnit.
[Erika clears throat]
Oh, my man needs his appointment moved up.
- Okay.
And on that note we're going
to end today's session.
- No!
- [shouts] Holy sh*t!
- We'll be back next
time, we'll figure it out.
- Yeah.
- One more, let's go.
- Here it is.
- There are procedures
that you can elect into
if you have magic that's really
harmful or really dangerous
that they actually have
ways to make you safe
to be around people.
- Well yes, that sounds perfect.
- It would be awesome.
The hard part of it the rules
just being sort of what they are
is that you sort of become
that, you know, I'd be a Muggle.
- You realize as well
that in addition to losing
your magical powers,
you'd have your mind wiped.
You wouldn't remember any of this.
- What?
- Any of us.
Remember, in the contract that we signed
that in the event that we decide
to forgo our magical education,
we would have our memories wiped.
[dramatic instrumental music]
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10x03 - Family on Six
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.