[whooshing music]
[static crackling]
- [Narrator] In 1919,
Dracula and Bram Stoker
forged a pact as monster and
man to merge their two worlds
together in harmony.
The result, Bram University.
[jazzy music]
[upbeat music]
[creature cackles]
- Hello everyone, and
welcome to the finale
of "Dimension 20 Shriek Week."
I'm Gabe Hicks, I am your storyteller,
and we are going to one more time,
introduce this absolutely
fantastic cast of characters.
- Hey, what's good?
For the last time, I'm Ify Nwadiwe,
and Terry Talbo is who I'm playing.
Werewolf with lots of
dreams, lots of hopes.
- Oh.
- Lots of dreams and hopes.
[group laughs]
- Ally?
- Hello, everyone, I'm Ally.
For the last time-
- Oh my God.
- I am playing
Megan, the ghost, her last name is Mirror.
We haven't touched on that.
[group laughs]
Her name is Megan Mirror.
- Okay, Lily?
- Hello for the last time.
I refuse to ever play her ever again.
I will not, don't ask.
I will be playing Tuti, not Trudy,
not Tubi.
- Or not to be.
- Tuti, she's a mummy and she is young,
dumb, and full of mum.
- Oh.
- Okay!
[group laughs]
Okay.
- Also, we never touched on the fact
that like, isn't Tuti like a IV?
- Her last name is IV.
- Yeah.
There's a lot of stuff that-
- There's so much more to explore.
Unfortunately, this will be our last time.
- Yeah.
- And then Dani.
- Yes, I am Dani Fernandez,
always and forever.
[group laughs]
and-
- Eternal.
- I'm playing Seven,
our vampire queen, our countess.
And I want to say that I've
always gotten your name right.
- Yeah.
- I always got Tuti right.
- That's true.
- Same.
- Personally-
- Don't get up on that.
Don't get in on that.
- Yeah, personally, I
think it should be Tutty,
with how you spell it, but.
- No, no, no, the way
we pronounce it is Tuti,
'cause she's a cutie.
- Okay.
- Oh.
- Wow, yeah.
- Lily, you know you could've been Tutty
and been Slutty Tutty.
- She wasn't slutty yet.
- Oh.
- That's true.
- That's true, 'cause
she's still new Tuti.
- [Lily] Yeah, yeah.
- Transformation.
- You're Slooty Tuti now.
- Slooty Tuti now.
- Hello, sultry shades and bestial babes.
We find ourselves shifting
back into Thursday night,
in the basement of the Dean's Building.
You hear the knock at the top of the door
and then rustling and it slowly opens.
[door creaks]
And then footsteps go down.
One, two, three, four.
- Is it your dad?
- I didn't.
- They're not counting,
I'm not gonna count.
[group laughs]
I'm not gonna count 16 steps.
They walk down 16 steps.
- I stand behind Cleets,
so that he's in the line of fire first,
and he can protect me.
- Wow, so loyal.
- Wow, you could've just
said you stand behind Cleets.
It would've sounded way.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, you
could've stopped there.
- Oh my God, good idea.
I stand behind Megan.
[group laughs]
- Wait.
Yeah, I'm kinda bulky, so I'm
definitely hide behind-able.
- You can definitely see me through her.
- Oh, yeah.
- I need everyone to make
a mental check for me.
- Oh my God.
- Right now, right at the top.
[dice clattering]
- Ooh.
- Oh, oh!
- Yep, okay.
- I got a 2, a 4, a 10.
- [Gabe] 2, 4, 10. Lily?
- I'm 9, a 6, a 1.
- [Gabe] Perfect. Ally?
- A 5, a 10, and a 10.
- Perfect.
- Whoo!
- And Ify?
- A 3, an 8, and a 10.
- All right, so everyone
does make this check.
You all see a figure that
is walking down the steps,
someone with a full beard
and a little bit rounder.
They are walking up the steps slowly.
There's a calmness in
their face, a big old grin
and something about them seems familiar,
but it's really hard to gauge
until they start speaking.
Well, hey there, students, hi!
You, uh, why are you downstairs?
- Teddy?
- It looks like Teddy
with a full beard, and
a little bit rounder.
- [Dani] Yo, Teddy.
- Oh, what are we hearing here?
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- Well, we found a plant
that was eating everything.
Do you happen to know anything about that?
- That makes a whole lot more sense,
I was a little confused.
Nice to meet you, I'm Teddy.
- Yeah, I think we've met before.
- Uh, Teddy-
- Oh, no.
We have not.
- When were you born? [gasps]
Wait, I look at everyone.
Can we huddle really quickly.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Teddy, hold that thought.
- This thing sounds like the plant.
- Yeah, we know.
- Does it?
- [Lily] Yes.
- Sounds like the potted plant.
- When were you born?
- Thousands of years ago.
- Okay. Very cool.
- Okay.
- Oh, okay.
- Can I open up Teddy's mouth?
[group laughing]
Where's the plant?
- Okay, the Teddy we know is hung.
So that's just something to think about.
- Whoa, whoa.
- Something to think about.
- Wow.
Every time, our energy is
unmatched at the very top
of the episode.
- Every time you beat someone,
it's like, let me see your belly button.
Are you hung?
- Oh, I'm saying,
if he's not hung, we'll
know it's not Teddy.
- No, he's a replica,
so it wouldn't matter.
- I just think the plant has
taken over a body, finally.
- I am no replica.
You are wrong there.
I am Teddy Prime, actually.
- All right, so answer-
- Hold on.
So you are well aware
that you have clones.
- I came down here looking for number XIV,
but I do not see him.
- Wait a second.
If you're the real Teddy,
what were you doing
exactly two days ago in the cafeteria,
when somebody came up to
you and what happened?
- What the hell you talking about?
- I came up and I said something to you.
- This Teddy said he's been
alive thousands of years.
- That was the Teddy that I ran into.
- No, that wasn't.
- That was the Teddy.
- I've never met you.
If you met the Teddy,
that was, well, came here
looking for XIV, 'cause
XIII's been f*cking up,
and I lost the connection
to XIII a couple days ago.
- I take one of those planter, like-
- Yes.
- Yes!
Yes.
- What is it?
- Stakes?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, stakes.
What is it, weed k*ller?
- Yeah, there you go.
- What's on it?
- Pesticides.
- Pesticide,
but I don't stab you with it,
I just put it in your mouth
and I hold it there.
- Oh my God.
- Make a physical check.
- I'm not trying to k*ll this time.
I'm just gonna give them a taste.
- We are asking no questions.
[group laughs]
- 5, 5, 7, 7.
- Okay, so you just stuff it in his mouth
and he just kinda. [mumbles]
- I reach and I pull it out of his mouth.
- Okay.
- And I ask everyone to relax.
- Okay.
- What kind of monster are you, Terry?
- Teddy.
- Teddy?
I'm Terry.
- You're looking in the mirror.
We're like, okay, you need-
- [Gabe] What kind of
monster are you, Terry?
- I'm having a really long, long night.
Well, what kind of monster are you?
Yeah, you got the pesticide.
- And his head starts
to puff up and puff up
and it just pops-
[group gasps]
- You k*lled someone again.
[tense music]
- And it regenerates immediately.
- Teddy, could you give us one second?
I need a sidebar with you guys.
- Sure, I'm just gonna go look for XIV.
- No, no, no.
- Just hang on.
- Look at, but XIV was
supposed to be down here.
That's why I'm down here.
- Oh, I saw him down here somewhere,
So I think you can find him, so.
- Well, I-
- You guys, I thought the Teddy that I bit
and almost k*lled, I thought
that was original Teddy.
I thought that's-
- Yes, and he was a human
who had been alive 22 years.
- So this guy is fake.
- I think that this sounds
like the potted plant
that is the-
- Yeah, this guy's head just exploded.
- Yeah, but Teddy.
- What I think is going is all the Teddies
have been a clone of this Teddy.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- So I wanna know what
kinda monster he is,
and why he's been
creating clones of Teddy.
And then, I'm gonna
ask him about the plant
and if he knows anything about that.
How's that sound?
- That sounds great.
- Teddy, what kind of monster are you?
- I was looking for that.
Can I have my eye back.
- Oh, please.
You can 100% have this.
I'm so ready for it to be out of my face.
- Okay, okay. Do you want anything for it?
- Um.
- Wait, really quick, and I
touch my Apple watch to it.
- I mean, now it's solid gold.
Now it doesn't work.
- Wow.
- Now it doesn't work.
- It's pretty, though.
- You know, can I just,
just have a hanging favor?
- Yeah.
- A favor I can cash in
wherever I might need it.
- You think this person's gonna be around?
- Yeah.
- Sure.
- All right.
It's not gonna hurt, right?
- It won't now.
[eerie music]
- What?
- Oh, okay.
- Yo, don't do it, don't
do it, don't do it.
- Teddy.
- Puts his hand
over your right eye, and then,
when his hand comes up,
your eye's back to normal.
- Well, well, well.
- Okay, what does he do with it?
[Gabe swallows]
- Ah, okay, that's better.
- Oh, that's gonna be really
hard to get out later.
- Okay, were you gonna turn to gold?
- Oh, no, it doesn't affect me.
Bye.
- What type of monster are you, Teddy?
- I'm just eternal, Terry.
- Oh.
Why are you creating clones?
- Because I didn't wanna
do the work myself.
- Okay.
- What kind of work around campus
did you not wanna do yourself?
- Well, when you have
a school of monsters,
you all do some f*cked up
stuff, so people might die.
So clones were an easy option.
- Oh, yeah, you would hate to have some-
- Yeah.
- Random, you know,
vampire bite your neck for
$20 or something like that.
That-
- I know what it's like
to be busy and have
servants working for you.
I deal with that all the time.
- It was a deal that I
made with the vice dean.
- Where is he?
- Do you know
what happened to him?
- Where is the dean?
- No. What?
- Do you know anything about
the k*ller plants, anything?
- What are you all talking about?
This is a very strange thing.
I just came to the-
- I'm gonna do a spell to see
if I can see inside his head.
- [Gabe] Go for it. Make a wisdom check.
- Yeah.
[dice clattering]
Tired of your a*s.
I got a 9, I got a 1, 3, 6, 9.
- Okay, you go into his mind, and you see
thousands of memories playing through.
You see pyramids, you see Vikings,
you see Salem Witch Trials.
You see dozens and dozens
of different monsters.
This person has lived for
literally thousands of years,
and people have tried to k*ll them,
annihilate them, destroy them
over and over and over again.
And they kept coming back.
You see a moment of them shaking the hand
of the vice dean, and then a
smile coming across their face.
You see them going into the basement
of the dining hall, and
cutting off a finger,
attaching it to the
ceiling in multiple places.
As the finger grows back,
coming back to them later
and slowly seeing pods of Teddies grow.
- Wait, so you were alive
for thousands of years,
and you picked the name Ted?
- Yeah.
[Ally laughs]
It's better than being dead.
Okay, so I think he's legit.
- Okay, so was the Ted who
worked at the cafeteria a human?
- Okay, so I don't feel
bad about k*lling him.
- What?
- Oh, uh-
- XIII's not dead.
- Right.
- Well, if you haven't
seen XIV, I'm gonna-
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna go.
- Last XIV-
- I have a question for you.
- [Gabe] Yeah.
- What would happen if one of your clones
got bit by a vampire and that
kind of chaotic influence
took over their clone body?
- Oh, that'd be horrible.
Those things are supposed to be temporary,
so if it was infected in
some way by vampirism and/or
like gained new power,
well, then, my connection
and concentration over
that thing would be gone.
It's like, what's a good word?
It's like finding a squirrel,
injecting it with rabies
and giving it a knife.
- Okay, great.
I would say you should
see this, all of this,
see this big, like weird
sack that we cut open
and found a bunch of missing people in?
- [Gabe] Yeah.
- I think that was Teddy XIII.
- Make a social check.
[dice clatters]
- Two 8s, a 7 and a 5.
- Unlucky XIII.
I had high hopes for him.
They knew Latin.
Disappoint.
- Well, I'd like to do a
quick look around the room
because I remember XIV getting
sucked up by the plants.
So I wonder if he got
spit out by the plants.
- Make a mental.
[dice clatter]
- Oh, 1, 10, 5 and 2.
- Thank you.
You look around, you do not
see any sign of the Teddy
that was crawling down into this hole.
- So you know nothing.
- I'm so-
- About the plants.
- The last time I got a
signal was from down here.
I didn't even know any of
you were gonna be down here.
- I'm so confused.
Why are you on campus and how do you get
to make a deal with the dean?
- Well, the dean is a friend of mine,
and I'm on campus because it wasn't,
think of it this way.
If you have a beach house, right,
and you have a security
camera in your beach house,
if the connection goes
down, you go and see why.
- Yes.
How long has the connection been down?
- On XIII?
Mm, like 48 hours.
- 48 hours.
- Have you been to the place
where you usually grow clones,
like beneath the cafeteria?
- Yeah, we found it.
It's gone now.
- I have to go.
[group laughs]
And he turns and starts going-
- No, I was gonna ask him about his beard.
- Uh, what about my beard?
- Oh, I just, is it real?
- [Gabe] Yes, yes it is.
- Oh, the other Teddies didn't have one,
so I'm just caught off guard.
- Well, they're just sad remakes.
There are plenty of things
I have that they do not.
- Oh, yeah.
- Damn, have there been
Teddies all over campus?
I only ever noticed the
one in the cafeteria.
- Well, there's only
supposed to be one at once.
- Oh.
- It really does a lot for you.
- Is it okay if we k*ll
Teddy XIII actually?
- Yeah, sure, whatever.
- [Ally] Okay, great.
- We're on XIV now, so
that one's written off.
- When did you last speak
to the dean, vice-dean?
- About a week ago.
- Where's the real dean?
Why do we only get
access to the vice dean?
- Oh, you don't wanna
talk to the other dean.
- Is it Satan?
- Mm, close.
- We're friends.
- What?
- Also one of my uncles.
- Okay.
- Can I look
around this room and see if I,
like this kind of like place where
all the people ended up?
- He's leaving.
- He just walks out.
- Oh, no, I'm just
saying, just as a player.
Can I look and see if
there are any vines here
that are gonna lead to somewhere else?
- No, it looks like this
was actually the core
of the plant, and it's,
you basically k*lled it.
- I didn't wanna go down this hole.
- Okay, so we k*lled the plant.
- Let's go to the vice dean's office.
- Let's go, let's go, yeah.
- We just go up the stairs after him.
- Okay, so you go up the stairs after him,
you go to the vice dean's office,
and it is open, it's empty.
- Essentially, does it seem
like it's just how it was left,
or does it seem like-
- It seems like it's just how it was left.
It doesn't seem like
anyone else has been here,
but there is dead plants
all around the office,
and the petals and ash
you see the other ones.
- I guess let's go into the quad,
and the hall might have clues, so.
- So you go to the quad
and it actually looks
like where you saw the tree
is now a ring of dead grass.
- Well...
- Under the cafeteria?
- I think I'm gonna go
back to my stage door.
- You still looking for
the, it's been hours.
- Just in case someone
was there waiting for me
after seeing "As I Like It."
- Oh, definitely, yeah.
Okay, you do your thing.
- And waiting for you?
- Can I use social to start kind of going
around the campus and asking
if people have seen Teddy,
and if he's been like
acting kind of weird?
- Sure, okay.
So let's figure out what your actions
are for the rest of the night.
You are going back to see if
a thickatar is waiting for you
outside the playroom to
talk about "As I Like It."
You wanna use social to go
around and see if anyone
has heard anything about Teddy.
What would you like to do, Lily?
- I'm so tired.
I wanna go back to my room.
- That is totally valid.
- Your oscillation
between okay, I'm hiding
behind Cleets and now I'm
actively trying to k*ll
the main bad guy in the room is so crazy.
- I just want this to be over with
so that I can have my
normal college experience
so if they're bad, I'm
trying to k*ll them,
if they're good, I'm trying
to let them live.
- Didn't you just
have sex in a magic
hot tub like hours ago?
- That was yesterday.
- Oh, okay.
- Today's a new day.
- No, you're right.
- Cleets has actually
asked if they could go back
to your room with you.
- I need some alone time.
- Ah!
[group laughs]
I'm obsessed with that answer. [laughs]
- I need some alone time.
It's been a day.
- That's valid.
Yeah, sure.
- That is so funny.
- Hey, take care of you first.
- Okay.
- See you sometime.
- All right.
- And then they start walking off,
and they're actually walking off
with Jadwiga, the Baba Yaga.
- Okay, do they have chemistry?
- I don't know, you never asked.
- Using my social skills, can
I see if they have chemistry?
- [laughs] Sure.
[dice clatters]
- A 2 and a 3.
- You know what?
The sexual tension
between them is palpable.
- Oh my God.
- The sexual tension is palpable.
I go, wait up!
- No, get your alone time, girl.
I shake Tuti.
Tuti, get your alone time.
- No. I got FOMO.
I saw their palpable sexual tension,
I run after them.
Hey, where are you guys going?
- [Ally] Oh my God.
- What is Seven doing?
- Oh my gosh, can't decide
if I wanna hit up Korra
and see if she wants to like come back
and maybe watch "The
Iron Giant" or something.
Or do I wanna meet up with
my parents in the cafeteria
for a nice little artery nightcap?
I think I might meet up with my parents,
'cause I feel bad, I
haven't really seen them.
- Deal. All right.
- I think I wanna change
my answer from using social
to ask people about
Teddy to using psychology
and making a flyer that says like,
are you a clone?
And a lot of things have
recently changed for you?
Join our focus group with
a bunch of my numbers
that you can tear away,
and I wanna put those
all over the campus.
- Beautiful.
Go ahead, roll that.
And then, Terry, roll a social for me.
Tuti, make a social for me,
dealing with all of that.
And Seven, what skill do you want to use
in this moment with your parents?
Are you trying to convince
him away from the accounting,
are you trying to convince
more into the brujeria,
the magic of you, just a general social,
because you're trying to sway them?
- Oh my gosh.
Yeah, just do social.
- All right, make that social.
[dice clattering]
So Terry, you head back,
and you see Asterith
is actually hanging outside of the halls,
looking around on her phone and oh.
Oh, hi, hey, Terry.
- Hey, how's it going?
I roll a 6, 5 and a 3.
You know, I was, I went to,
I went to the basement with some plants,
some moist plants in the basement.
That's why I left after I, like I turned,
like that was part of it.
That was part of it, actually,
was to turn red, and you know,
we're gonna have special effects
in the actual production.
So good to see you.
[group laughing]
- Terry, you good?
- You know, it's been a
long day, a really long day.
- Do you have strong hands?
- I do.
- My back is sore.
- I can rub it.
- That would be great.
- Okay.
- But do me a favor?
- Mm-hmm?
- Stop talking so much.
- All right.
[group laughs]
Kinda like saddle like up next to her,
and like.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey.
- Tail tucked.
- Don't tuck that tail.
- Um. [mutters]
Okay.
[group laughs]
- Wow.
- Terry,
make a physical check for me.
- Oh.
- Oh my God.
- How well you rubbing that back?
- It's a 9, 6, 4 and a 1.
- With her consent-
- How is this gonna start?
- With her consent to pass, do you stop
at rubbing her back?
- No, I do, well, with my rub her back,
I do my signature move,
which is a legitimately good back rub.
- Is this Terry or Ify?
- Terry, Terry.
A legitimately good back rub.
- For sure.
For sure.
- And then,
as the final thing, you
put both thumbs beside,
on either side of the spine.
You bring down with pressure.
- Gorgeous.
- And then, as you get to
the base of the lower back,
you do a circular motion
and then you keep doing it
with your thumbs, moving
it to most of your hands,
and then you start to work your way
and then you're doing the butt,
and then you eat their a*s.
[group laughing]
- Yeah, this is verified hot.
- Terry does this.
- Uh-huh.
- Terry does this.
- Do you have that thing
where when someone's
talking about massage,
your body starts screaming for one?
[group laughing]
I am head to toe screaming for that.
- Yeah, but it's good, 'cause
then you're just like, whoo,
and now you're fully relaxed
and way into getting your a*s ate.
- Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, definitely.
I love, yeah, just start right there.
- Yeah.
- Not a kiss in sight.
- So many times.
- Oh no, no,
straight mouth to a*s, no mouth to mouth.
- Well, you get like a nice little kiss,
and the back massage at
the nape of your neck.
- Cute.
- Yeah, just neck to a*s.
No mouth to mouth.
- Oh, that's so cool to
hear that about Terry.
- Yeah, Terry specifically.
Definitely Terry.
- So great.
- But that's exactly what he does.
- Cool, cool.
Thanks, Dimension 20
for letting us do this.
[group laughs]
Um, okay.
- Can't wait to see
the fan art.
- I know the Dropout,
little freaks in there.
Y'all have been wondering what I'm doing.
And now you have a look inside.
- Ify, if people see you on Twitter,
they don't have to wonder that much.
- Oh, that's true.
That's true.
- Nobody is wondering.
- No.
- Mm-mm.
- So then all-
- Nobody has wondered.
- Whoo, God, this is
gonna haunt me forever.
All right. [laughs]
So what did you get, Ally?
- I got a 4, 1, 3, and then an 8.
- [Gabe] Okay, okay.
I love how you always
save the success for last.
So you do post a bunch of those around,
and you actually have Mothman show up
and offer to help pass some of them out.
- Oh, cool, great!
- Yeah, yeah.
I was just, you know, like,
wanted to help if I could.
- [Ally] Yeah, let's throw
them all over.
- I wanna pesticide this moth.
- Wow.
- I'm sick of this moth.
- Oh my God, you're just so aggro today.
Yeah, if you could, that'd be incredible.
They're like printed
out, and they have like,
kinda like flames, they
look like kinda evil,
maybe it would like attract number XIII.
- Beautiful.
- Are you a clone who's
recently gone through
a number of crazy changes?
We can help.
And then a whole bunch of my numbers.
- There's a lot.
- Yeah.
- So yeah, Mothman is flying
around, helping you do it,
and in the conversation,
Mothman actually leans over and,
wanna hear something cool?
- Yeah.
- I think I have a date.
- [gasps] Really?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh my gosh, who?
- Meyalth, the gorgon.
- Oh, that is so cool.
Wait, what, how did it go down?
- Well, I was doing some
tricks, and was texting them,
and I didn't get a text back
until like 20 minutes ago,
but I asked if they were
interested in going out
to get some food, and I
specifically said it was a date,
so there wasn't any misunderstandings.
- Cool.
- 'Cause like,
we had that conversation, and realized,
if I leave it unspoken
then it's super weird.
- Totally.
- And they said yeah.
- [gasps] That's great!
- Yeah.
- I mean, it probably took them so long
to respond, 'cause they were stuck
with a whole bunch of
other people underground.
- What?
- And then I just explain
everything that we just found.
- Okay, these fliers make more sense now.
- Yeah, yeah.
- And then he's like,
post 'em up and hand 'em out.
So you're following Cleets?
- No, I caught up with,
I'm not trying to sneak.
I'm like, oh, I changed my mind.
What are you guys up to?
- Oh.
- I got an 8 and a 9.
- Okay, we were just gonna
go back and watch a movie.
- What, together?
- Yes, why?
- What movie? I love movies.
[group laughs]
- "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants."
- Incredible.
Love America Ferrera.
- Make a social roll.
That feels like sh*t.
[dice rattling]
- [Lily] I already made one social roll.
- [Gabe] I know, but then you lied!
- About loving America Ferrera?
- Hey.
- I got a 7 and a 10.
- Okay, really?
- Yeah, I love her, "Ugly Betty"?
I watched five seasons of that show.
- Oh my gosh, yes.
- Yeah, "Superstore."
- But I thought you wanted
some time to yourself.
- And I got it.
I actually, I centered myself so quickly,
it's such, I'm really quick in that way,
and so now, I'm down to watch
"Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants."
- Oh no.
- And you all go back to Cleets' room.
In Cleets' room is, it's very plain.
There's not very vibrant colors,
but there is, to no surprise,
a good amount of metal
and structural, actual themed
artwork inside of his room.
He gets it set up on a large screen TV
that's bigger than most people
have in their dorm rooms
and just starts the movie up.
Are you making any moves or anything?
What is happening in this moment?
- I sit right in the middle of them.
- Hilarious.
- And unless you make any moves,
it is an uneventful night watching
"Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants."
- I sit right in the middle, and I go,
what was she in, "Gossip Girl"?
Is that what-
- Yeah.
- What's her-
- Wow, big move.
Big, big move.
- I'm just making small talk.
I'm just making nervous small talk now.
- Wow.
- I'm kinda tired.
I'm like, those pants, what
size do you think they are?
They travel, right?
So they could be like any size?
- Do you have something, Ify?
- Oh, no, no, I'm sorry.
- Okay, I just wanted to make sure.
- You wanna comment on the pants?
- Yeah, comment.
- I'm just so taken aback
at your moves.
- Yeah.
[group laughs]
- And I go, ah.
- Oh, okay.
- Wow.
- So Cleets is like, mm and leans into it.
And Jadwiga looks over at you.
Mm and just leans back into it.
- I go, okay, I fall asleep. [laughs]
- Yeah, perfect.
- I fall asleep.
I did need to go back to
my room, I fall asleep.
- [Gabe] And then we come
to Seven in the dining room
with her father and mother.
- So I've been thinking
and I just feel like,
I have a list of things that I would like.
One of them is a gold coffin.
- Okay, yes.
- And I feel like
sleeping on this IKEA one
is not great for me.
- Ah, ah, ah.
- Please stop sending
presents to Drusille.
We're not getting back together.
- Ah, okay.
- We're never getting back together.
- Ah, ah.
- I would like my allowance to be raised
to at least 500.000 a week.
- Mm-hmm.
[Lily snorts]
- I feel like that goes really quickly.
And then, the blood
that I've been receiving
has been more economy and I would at least
like business class, if possible,
but preferably first class peasants.
- One, two, three, four
not unreasonable requests.
- Right, it's so small and tiny.
It's just, I almost
didn't bring it up, but.
- So for business class,
you want Wall Street?
- Yeah, that would be great, you know,
a couple of Chads, Brads, maybe a Thad.
- Any dads?
- I mean, I've tried some.
They're a little bit
more seasoned for sure?
- What were you rolling and what was your-
- Oh, okay, I rolled, this was my social.
It was 3, two 8s and a 9.
- You know what, Seven?
Counting is my thing.
- It is, yeah.
- And I'm sorry if I put
that pressure on you.
- You definitely did.
- Okay, you could just lean
into this a little bit nicer.
- Oh, sorry, let me try it again.
- I am sorry that I put pressure on you
that wasn't what you wanted.
- Yeah.
- I know I can always count on you.
- [Dani] You can always count on me.
- Ah, ah, ah.
- Ah, ah, ah.
Ugh.
- And will do my best to
stop giving your mother
the business in front of you.
- Yeah, that would be great.
I think, actually, a lot of people,
I'm kinda tired of seeing it on Reddit,
I would appreciate if you two didn't try
to hump each other
everywhere at all times.
- Can you blame me?
- I can, I have, and I've
talked to my therapist about it.
- You know I love numbers,
and she's got double D's.
- Right, yeah.
- Just letters, no numbers.
- Double is a quantifiable thing.
Shut up.
[group laughs]
I made an exception for
this bodacious woman.
- Yeah.
- Also, daughter, the
mirror does not spy on you.
- What does it do?
- It's just to be there if we can't.
- Okay, that's actually very sweet.
- You need to be able to count on us, too.
- Yeah. Mm.
[kisses] One.
- One.
- And [kisses] two.
- Two.
- And [kisses] three.
- Three.
- And [kisses] four.
- Four.
- All right, thanks, Mom and Dad.
- Yeah.
All right, so you all have
your delightful moments,
all of you have restful sleeps,
and we end up on Friday morning-
- Whoo!
- And you know
your favorite part of
waking up in the morning?
- [Dani] Oh my God.
- [Swampy] Hey, Wilson?
- [Wilson] Yeah, Swampy?
- [Swampy] What do you
call it when a ghost farts?
- [Wilson] I don't know. Lay it on me.
- [Swampy] Polter-gas.
- [Wilson] Four out of 10.
- I'll take it.
- Just like students
should take a seat at tonight's open mic.
- [Swampy] This evening, head
on over to the student union
for a college classic.
- That's right.
Anyone and everyone is
welcome to take the stage
and mic in hand, perform their art,
whatever form that may take.
- So grab your friends
or your own hand, because
self-love is enough,
and being your own date is also having
the perfect date partner.
Let's shake on down and shake things up.
- [Wilson] That's all from us this week,
you freaky Shriekers.
I've been Wild Wolf Welfen.
- [Swampy] And I've been Swamp Thing,
and we'll see you on the dark side.
- If there are any specific interactions
that you really wanna have,
you can have them today,
because tomorrow is Van
Helsing's house party.
- Oh my God.
- Hmm.
Seems like the mystery hasn't been solved.
- Yeah, definitely go to
the vice dean's office
one more time, to see
if anything's changed.
- How do you wake up, your head in an a*s?
- Uh, oh, yeah, like oof.
- [laughs] Oh no.
No, no, no.
- Feeling good, feeling energized.
- Still hasn't gotten a kiss.
- Wow.
[group laughs]
- I'm waiting for it.
I think that's, you know-
- That's more intimate,
honestly, in some ways.
- Yeah, first kisses are so special.
- That's true.
- I think Megan wakes up
and does like her morning routine.
She's like making coffee, she's doing,
she's great at pull-ups
now, couple egg bites,
and then I want to, I
think I'm gonna meet you
to go to the dean's, but
I wanna send a text to Yui
and be like, can I please make you
a gorgeous meal this evening?
I don't know if you're
going to the open mic,
but I can make it before that.
You guys wanna cook together?
- Was going to the open mic.
Would love to have something there.
- Eat something at the open mic?
Uh, yeah, totally, I have a lot
of incredible Tupperwares, yeah.
- That's a swerve.
- It is.
It's okay, it's okay, no, it's okay.
Yeah, so I send her a photo of all
this incredible Tupperware that I have,
like perfectly stored.
It's like, all right, I'll
put all the food in here.
Get ready.
- I love this organization.
- I am at a 10. [laughs]
If we're both hot for
organization, yeah, this is great.
I write back just a bunch
of exclamation points.
- Wow.
- I don't know what that means, but cool.
- It's just to kinda
like, blanket enthusiasm.
- Beautiful.
- So I start a couple of
small fermentation projects
and then I head to the dean's.
- Oh my God.
And what are you two doing?
Are you gonna meet up and
go to the dean's office?
- Do I wake up in-
- Do I wake up?
- Do I wake up or am I dead?
- Roll to wake up.
- Are you dead?
So you wake up in Cleets' room,
but you're like cradled
in Cleets' left arm.
- And where is Jadwiga?
- In the right.
- I sneak out.
- Wow.
- Make a physical.
You did this.
- 5, 4, 9, 9.
- Hey.
- Don't wanna deal with,
it's awkward in the morning, you have to.
- You didn't sleep with him.
You went and watched
movies and fell asleep.
- I know, I go, I gotta go.
I whisper it kind of just to the,
'cause I panic.
They're asleep, I go, I gotta go.
Okay, I've said it, okay.
Leave a little note, I had to run, bye!
- You would see like
Megan and Terry making
their way out of the door.
- I see them, and I run
over to them, and I'm like,
I slept in Cleets' room last night.
- Oh my gosh, cool.
- Oh, damn.
- No, no, no, but not in like a sexy way.
We watched "Sisterhood
of the Traveling Pants."
I got nervous.
- Oh.
- That's like, the number one f*ck movie.
- What?
- That's like the huge.
- Yeah, that you put on "Sisterhood
of the Traveling Pants,"
you get bored, and you
start fooling around.
It's either that or "Planet Earth."
- Yeah.
- No, I fell asleep.
- Oh.
- How do you do it a second time?
- How do you watch the
movie a second time?
You say, let's watch that again.
- How do you hook up a second time
after you hooked up the first time?
- Oh, that's the refractory
period, I feel like
enough time has passed, you know.
- Yeah.
- Especially, we're in
college, we're virile,
I could go probably back
to back, 15 minutes,
not like I was in my 30s
and I'd have to wait-
[Ally snorts]
At least two hours, so.
- Wow, two hours?
- Wow, two hours.
- I think that-
- I don't know why
everybody's saying two hours like that?
- Wow, two hours.
- It's a good amount of time.
- 120 minutes.
- Think about the plus side.
At least you know he's
super down, you know?
At least that takes a lot
of that fear like of doubt
out of there.
- Yeah, yeah.
- He's okay being blown in public spaces.
- Yeah, what? No, what?
- I mean, that's what happened.
- No, that was a private space.
- It was outside.
- No, it was in,
an indoor tub.
- It was outdoors.
- I was under water.
- I would say Seven definitely
would've heard this,
and would've been just
out listening to all this.
- Yeah, it was wild that
you were so nervous.
You've literally blown this man, but.
- Yeah.
- Okay, it was under water, so.
- Okay, I guess it didn't,
it only half counted?
- Yeah.
- Wait, no, yeah, like what happened?
Why are you so nervous?
Did you guys get to that moment and then
it was just kinda like, I don't know
how to push this one step further?
- No, I was just like, this
is gonna be a crazy year.
This is not gonna be
like relationship year.
This is like I'm with everyone year.
I'm not trying to like just be paired up.
Ah.
- But does that sound
like something you actually want,
or it sounds like something-
- Yes!
Do psychology.
- You like to say out loud.
- Make a psychology check.
- Okay, great.
- Just to see.
- Do you want this?
Or do you want to want this?
- [Gabe] And you get a text
that's, what'd you roll?
- A 1, but then I got a 3.
But get this, a 6, almost there, but then,
coming in last, I got a 9. [laughs]
[group laughing]
- Wow.
- Why does that keep happening?
There's always one.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, okay.
'Cause I'm a good therapist in the making.
- And yet, you always do fermentation.
- What's my text?
- It's from Cubie.
- Oh.
[electronic pinging]
What does it say?
- It's a gif of a little
boy kissing a foot.
[group laughing]
- Dad?
- I can be a ball this time.
- It says, I can be a ball this time?
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- What is the last text
in your guys' text chain
from like years ago?
- It's him sending me like
texts and me going, cool.
- Whoa.
- Um.
Guys, what do I say to this?
- I mean, do you want to-
- Yeah, do you wanna-
- Have sex?
- With a ball?
- I, um.
- You know, this just makes me think,
like men don't pay enough
attention to women's anatomy.
Like this, as an offering,
I'm kind of like,
what are you talking about?
- Right.
- Yes.
I could be a ball this time.
- Like a softball, a tiny little ball?
I don't know, that sounds dangerous.
- Just for clarification,
Cubey is genderfluid.
- Oh, they, great.
- So they, you can he, she, they.
- They, um, I go, no, thank you.
No, thank you.
I go, no thanks.
- It's because you want
me to look like you
so you can f*ck yourself, isn't it?
- Dang.
- Aggressive.
- That got deep as hell.
- I send them a gif of the three dots,
so that it looks like I'm
about to be typing forever.
Is this cyber bullying?
- Yes.
- Yeah, that's a bit aggressive.
- Wait, give me the
phone, give me the phone.
- No.
- Give me the phone.
- No!
- Give me the f*cking phone.
- Okay.
- Listen up, you.
I go into like, I send
a long a*s paragraph
that's like, okay, so
you send one weird like,
kind of vague hitting on,
and you get turned down,
and then you get really like
vicious, like you need to
make a therapy appointment,
honestly, with Megan Mirror.
[group laughing]
Their rates are $95 an hour, and I think
you could get a lot done
in just a couple hours.
- I pull the notebook
out of Megan's hands.
Megan goes back to normal, and my phone.
- That stupid nonsense.
Megan Mirror seems like a
broken record, more like.
- Wow.
- And I'm only mad
because you ghosted me after
that one time, anyways.
- Okay, I do have a pattern.
I do have a pattern.
I freak out, I freak after-
- [Ally] Yeah, but this feels
like a weird projection.
You know, like there's a lot of anger.
- From Cubie?
- And I don't even have my
tiny glasses or my notebook on.
- Okay.
- This is just me talking.
- I send them the gif of-
- Let me.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, we each take turns.
- Oh, you make good points.
Weird side note, if like,
you were to have a p*nis
inserted in you with the acid
from the Cube burning off-
- Wait, no.
[group laughs]
- As you grab it, it does hit send.
- Oh no.
- No!
- Gotta know! I gotta know.
- I take the SIM card out,
and I snap it in half,
and I step on it, and I go, we gotta go.
- My phone!
Oh my God.
- I mean, I had an answer,
but I guess you'll never know.
- Terry can't have that information.
Okay?
- You know what?
- We don't trust him.
- [Gabe] Ask me again
during Adventuring Party.
- Oh, great.
- Okay.
- My phone is f*cking broken now.
- I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
Look, you can have my SIM card.
- I take that SIM card,
I put it in my phone.
- Great.
- Okay.
Now I have just your phone.
- Now you're my parents'
therapist, so enjoy.
- Okay.
- [Gabe] So you all make your
way to the dean's office,
and it looks like it has
actually been cleaned
a little bit when you
walk into the building.
You walk up to the door, and it does seem
like it is unlocked,
so there is a secretary
sitting there this time.
It is a gorgon woman.
- Hey, have you seen the vice dean?
- Yes.
- Where is he?
- In his room.
- Can we go talk to him?
- Why?
- Homework.
- Yeah, no, yes, homework.
Actually, something really
inappropriate happened
on campus, and I need to speak
to him immediately about it,
or I will get my parents' lawyer involved.
- Make a social check.
- Okay.
[dice clattering]
I got a 3, 2, a 7 and a 10.
- Eh!
- Sir.
It's the, no, it's the scary one.
With the sex-obsessed dad.
- Wow.
- The rich one.
They said it's like an issue
with something on the campus.
- Something inappropriate,
and my lawyer, Elmo, LP-
[Ally spitting]
will be contacting you.
- Oh my God.
- Yes, that one.
Did you, we don't want that-
- I will go to TMZ.
- Okay, yeah, um.
- I have video.
- Sending them in, sending
them in, sending them.
Go ahead.
- Okay.
- My God.
- Your honor.
[group laughs]
- So yeah, you hear a click on the door,
as it sounds like it unlocks.
- All right.
I guess we walk in.
- You walk in, and you do
see the vice dean's head
sitting on the desk.
The body is at the desk,
typing at a computer.
The head's like over here, looking down.
Oh, yes, those students.
Good to see you.
- What happened?
- Yeah,
where have you been?
- [sighs] For days, I've been,
and there's a window behind him.
My head fell out the window,
and nobody went out behind
my office to find me,
and I tried to get to
my body to come get me,
but it was not listening for some reason.
For days.
- Well, I will vouch for your body,
that it was kidnapped by
a shadow, smoke figure.
- Mm-hmm.
- Do you know anything
about those, who are running
around the campus?
- You know, Ted, the one
you made a deal with.
- Oh, nice.
- Yeah, that's not the smoke figure.
- Oh, wait, yeah, you're right.
- That's the clone guy.
You know the guy.
- I do know Ted.
- We know Ted, we know
of the multiplying plants
that were taking over the whole college.
- Beatrice, you said those were weeds.
I said there was a lot of plants.
I don't know what the hell it was.
If there was a shadowy figure
and there was strange plants,
it was a problem awhile ago.
There was a creature akin to what people
would call like the
bogeyman, but was way worse,
and I've had issues
with said figure before.
It's a horrific entity.
It would trap people, try to absorb
their souls, their essence.
It's more of an old guard, so to speak.
- Okay, do you have
their cell or something?
Do you text with them?
- I do not speak to them.
- Facebook?
- You going to ask me about Venmo next?
- White pages? You can Google anyone.
- LinkedIn.
- You can google Ally
Beardsley phone number.
- No you can't.
- You saw the shadowy figure where?
- Here, in this office.
They opened up a portal and
then they walked into it.
- And in our rooms.
- What happened in the portal?
- You said that his body just,
your body just got dragged into it.
- And he looks over at
his body for a second
with confusion, and the body does look
a little bit thinner than it was.
I have a lot to consider.
- Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
- But it sounds
like you lot resolved the
situation in my absence?
- Yeah, seems like it.
I mean, we hope.
- I don't think so.
No, no, no.
- I don't.
- I think we saved everyone.
That was good, but we
did not get to the root
of what's going on at all.
- Okay.
- Do you, I have one
side question, though.
This kind of shadowy person.
- Yes.
- If they bought
like a tasteful nude from someone,
is that really bad for that person?
- I really don't think the same person.
- Okay, great.
- I cashed the check.
- Have you ever heard the
name, like Dorian Gray?
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh-huh.
- It's a situation similar
to that, possibly. Why?
- Oh no.
- What have you done?
- Sold some of my tasteful back nudes
to a shadowy figure.
- Tasteful back nudes.
- To be fair, tuition
is very expensive here.
- Yeah, and you made like what?
$50.
- $6.000.
- Oh, right, right.
I forgot it was a lot, yeah.
- Okay?
- I'm sorry, I don't-
- I thought the mirror
said it was a different
person who bought my painting.
- Yeah, it was.
- Than was in here.
- Oh, it was? Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.
Then nevermind, sorry, I'm just.
- Okay.
- Good, good.
Do not sell to the living shadow.
- Okay, okay, okay.
It was a shadowy figure, but
it said Nightmare Monster.
You know.
- Oh, yes, yes, Nightmare is fine.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Oh, okay.
- Consumes dreams of other people,
and just gives them misery.
- Yeah, yeah, totally normal.
- Oh, right, yeah, definitely.
- Does the shadowy
figure go to school here?
- No, no, they should not even be allowed
to be on campus.
- How do you defeat them?
Pesticide, maybe?
- Why did security not stop?
I feel like we pay a lot
of tuition to be here,
and I feel like our
security should have been-
- Well, for the most part,
our security is a
protective barrier and dome.
Things should not be
able to get in, so it-
- Unless someone invited it in.
- Which leads me to
believe there is a problem.
- I need my SIM card
back, 'cause I forgot,
I put my number on all the fliers.
I'm so sorry.
- Oh my God, my phone
is, is it blowing up?
Or does it have one text?
- Yeah, no, it's got like 16.
- [Ally] From one number
or from different people?
- From multiple numbers.
- My phone is blowing up.
- A lot of people
are really worried that they're clones.
- Okay, I just start, I'm like, you guys,
I put on tiny glasses and
I take a glass of tea.
- This, I will take care of this.
- Okay.
- There is so much
to figure out.
- Okay.
- But this is your Shriek Week.
- Also, while I'm here,
if I drop Renaissance Art,
will I still have enough
credits for graduation?
- Good question.
- No.
- You could always take fermentation.
- I mean, you will have to
switch it with something else.
- I'll take Renaissance Art.
- Oh, I have a question, too.
So in the cafeteria,
if we're getting blood,
can we get it from people who aren't sad?
- I put in a note for that.
- And one last question.
One last question.
- Sure.
- For the talent show, is
it supposed to be clean?
- Like, oh, you mean the open mic?
- Yeah, the open mic.
If we do standup, does
it have to be clean?
- It has to be Christian
and puppet-oriented.
- Is it like, is all no holds barred?
- It's no holds barred.
This is-
- Excuse me,
but I don't think it needs to be no holds,
because I think, you know.
- Megan's frantically writing down jokes
that she thinks are gonna k*ll.
I have some good jokes.
- It's in laid in the ruins underneath.
- No, yeah, I've been to
a couple of open mics.
- I have a lot of really good
jokes about my b*tch wife.
- Be careful. Those might get you k*lled.
- Drusille.
- I'm gonna give all
of you one more chance
to genuinely impress someone
or someones of your choice,
and however you want to do this open mic.
But I feel like I have a gauge
for everyone but you, Tuti.
- International woman of mystery, Tuti.
- Definitely.
- Who is Tuti
trying to impress at the
open mic, if anybody?
Potentially no one?
- Cleets, but okay, because she's nervous,
she's like, doing that thing,
where she's like, to impress him,
I'm gonna make everyone else
really impressed with me.
And I'm gonna not pay him attention,
which might backfire, but
I don't know any better.
So I'm like, I'm too
nervous to talk to him,
but he's gonna talk to me if he sees me
talking to lots of other people.
- Okay.
- I'm just gonna lean in and be like,
isn't that like five times more work?
Isn't that like five times more work?
- No.
- I'll be like,
okay, okay, sorry, I'll go back
to writing my insane standup.
- So I would like everyone
to make a social roll for me.
- Okay.
[whimsical, eerie music]
Hell yeah.
[dice rattling]
- I like Dani's hell yeah.
So if you're all right-
- Two 8s, a 9 and a 10.
- Whoo!
- Perfect.
- An 8 and a 5.
- I got a 9, and then I got a 6, 3, 4.
- I got two 9s and a 7.
- Okay, all of you know
what you're talking about.
You've all practiced, you all have
a little bit of information.
- We all do the open mic?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Does anyone sing or do an instrument,
or everyone's doing standup?
- Well, that is the
question, and I'm gonna start
with you, Terry, what are
you doing for your open mic?
- Yeah, so hi, girls.
What's up, y'all?
How y'all doing?
[audience cheering]
- Ooh, as I walk in again.
- Wolves be, wolves, man,
us wolves be crazy, 'cause you know,
humans be like, oh, I'm gonna
walk under this full moon
and wolves be like, uh-oh,
we're turning into a wolf.
We turning into a wolf.
- Wow.
- Oh my gosh, liches be shopping.
- Wow.
- They be out there,
and I'm like, whoa, you a ghost.
You don't need that many clothes.
You don't need that many clothes.
But it's out there.
- Liches.
- Megan is losing her sh*t.
She's crying, she's laughing so hard.
- Oh, I long-
- I'm laughing, too.
- I love me a sexy Minotaur.
You know, I'll get lost
in all the labyrinths,
because you know, they be looking good.
They be looking good, okay?
They bring a whole new level to horny,
'cause they got horns that make me horny.
You know what I'm saying?
[audience laughing]
All right, y'all.
My name is Terry Talbo,
and that's been my time.
All right, y'all have a good night.
- And you all see Asterith stand and clap
louder than anyone.
- Wow.
- Yes. Yes!
[group laughs]
- And after that, Kevin
actually takes the stage.
Hi, my name is Kevin.
I'm a gnome.
And I'm doing impressions.
What up?
My name is Terry Talbo.
[group laughs]
And-
- That sounds just like me.
That sounds just like me.
That sounds just like me.
- I'm a wolf man who can, will stand,
no a Dan-
- I can't tell if that's me
or Terrance Howard, baby.
That's just one of us,
that's one or the other.
- I'm actually new to school
and reinventing myself
and like to choke things out,
but only plants, not people.
- Oh my God.
- Ooh, that's me.
Is she hot? Is she hot?
- Wow.
- Sounds just like you.
- I'm so hot.
- Ah!
- Also, I love fermentation.
- Okay, okay.
I'm drinking a PBR.
- Wow, that's so you.
- I'm all about raisins and-
- Oh, that's,
that is so you.
That is so you.
- How does he think of this stuff?
- And you know what?
I care about psychology a
lot less than you think.
- Oh my God.
- He got you there.
He got you there.
- No!
- He got you there.
- And then, Seven scares me,
so I'm not gonna f*ck with her.
- Wow.
- That's a good move.
Good move.
- Wow.
- That's a good move.
- One, two, three seconds.
Just f*cking with you.
Okay, bye.
- Beat his a*s.
- Wow.
- Beat his little a*s.
[group laughs]
- Eat 'em up.
- All right, and then,
Megan, it is your turn.
- Okay, well, I actually,
I know I was joking
about writing a bunch of jokes,
but I don't think Megan
would actually do standup
at the show, so I think I did bring all
of my Tupperware, so if I
can quietly pass out dinner.
- Wow.
- To my two dates,
I don't think I'm gonna go on stage.
- Absolutely.
- And impress that way.
- Yeah, make a social roll for me.
Well, yeah, yeah.
Well, actually you did roll.
You succeeded.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, so no, you hand it out.
Drusille is like, this is delicious.
- Yeah, I'm passing it out.
Oh you like it?
- Yes.
- Cool.
- What's that smell? It's so pungent.
- Yeah, do you guys want some?
- Something smells
delicious, yeah, let me.
- Yeah, here you go.
It's slippery raisin curry.
And then I also have a salty cod-
- Oh, you can keep that.
- Seltzer.
- You can keep that.
- Anybody else?
- I'm thinking on it.
I'll think on it.
- Salted cod seltzer?
- Have any soup?
- Huh?
- Do you have any soups?
- Um, no.
But the curry's kind of soupy.
- Right, right, right.
- I tried them, thank you.
- I really appreciate that, actually.
So thank you, everyone.
- So then, not long after that, Fen,
the werewolf, walks up to the stage.
[drums beating]
I've been waiting to
tell a story for long,
and I almost thought of writing a song,
but I decided for this
university with friends here,
I would instead talk about
something I hold dear.
There's something about
being a wolf with a pack,
and sometimes, you see
the things you lack.
[Lily snapping fingers]
But as a matter of fact,
I am pleasantly stacked
with loved ones who will
always have my back.
- Whoa.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- I gotta get him
in "As I Like It."
- Yeah.
You should do it.
- The talent I'm seeing
on this stage.
- So then, next is Tuti
going to do anything
for the open mic?
- Well, as much as I was
compelled to do some standup,
I bring out a chair, and I do,
and I turn it around and I sit on it.
And the music from
"Cabaret" starts playing.
[jazzy music]
And I put on a little hat.
- Whoa.
- Wow.
- Tuti's doing burlesque.
- Yeah.
- New year, new Tuti!
- Wow.
Yes!
- You hear Van Helsing like. [whistling]
- Wow.
I toss him my hat.
[audience cheering]
- Yeah!
- I take a mallet
and I start hitting myself
with the mallet on the head.
- That's my friend.
- Hilarious.
- What?
- And then,
Seven, did you have
anything you were gonna do
for the open mic?
- Yeah.
[clears throat] Seven gets up there.
This is, well, I just
came up with it right now.
So this, I just. [clears throat]
Oh, could I get a little,
like a little like,
maybe a little drum, or like, yeah, okay.
[group drumming]
Okay, like maybe softer,
just like a little.
[group laughs]
Korra, I need mora.
Girl, I'm howlin'.
You got me prowlin'.
- Ooh.
[Ally slurps]
- Your face is furry.
- Oh, yeah.
That's good.
- I'm in no hurry.
- Oh.
- To leave your side.
I'll let go my pride.
- Oh.
- Okay.
- I normally travel light,
but after last night,
I know that I'm ready to
ask if you wanna go steady?
- Okay!
[group howls]
- She stands up.
Yes, I would absolutely love that.
Yes, please.
- Oh, okay, good.
- Wow.
- Wow.
- Wow, okay.
- Would you like
some raisin, salted raisin curry?
- No, no, thank you.
- Okay, okay.
- What is-
- I just had some extra.
- I got enough to eat last night.
Thank you.
- Okay, great.
Yeah, no problem.
- I think that was some double innuendo.
- Excuse me?
- W-
- Wow.
[all laugh]
Okay, I run off the stage, oh my gosh.
Y'all, I have a girlfriend.
I have a girlfriend.
- Oh my God.
- Everyone shut the hell up.
- That's incredible.
[all laughing]
- Terry's choking.
Terry's choking.
I wanna give him mouth to mouth.
- [coughs] Oh, oh.
[both snickering]
- Wow.
- Oh, I got it, though.
I did get it.
- Yeah, I got a, I
mixed up double entendre
and sexual innuendo.
- Wow.
- You got what I'm saying.
- Yeah, definitely.
- Wow.
- W-innuendo.
- W-innuendo.
Definitely, Terry, yeah.
- We're all focused on laughing at this.
- Oh.
- What'd you say?
- No, I have a girlfriend.
- Oh, yeah, incredible.
- Cool, Drusille?
- No, not Drusille.
[group laughing]
- Trudy, what are you thinking?
- Wow, wow, Tuti, how could you, Tuti?
Tubi, wow, or not to be my friend.
- Oh, this isn't part of the talent show,
but I just, I, when I was
printing out those fliers, Tuti,
I printed out a bunch of these,
and it's a bunch of Unwrapped,
issues of Unwrapped,
which have your photos in them.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Wow, you didn't get my
permission to print my photos.
[group laughing]
- Yeah, yeah, that's-
- You just took my photos.
- We've been running around a lot,
I kinda put a flash drive in your laptop-
- This isn't the dimensions
I would choose for this one.
- Right.
- Yeah,
maybe this could be a markup.
This could be, you know, a first draft.
Here's a big red pen for
you to kinda like mark
what you would change.
- I really appreciate it.
Thank you.
I start crossing.
- For sure, for sure.
- [Ally] That was my favorite one.
Oh, okay, oh, okay.
- Okay, if you could
make those corrections.
- I'll be right on it.
- Okay.
- I turn into your assistant
for the whole year.
- How many texts did
you get for your signs?
- Oh, yeah, can check that
and see if we got anything
from the actual Teddy.
- Nothing from XIII.
- Okay, wow.
Okay, is Cleets kind of jealous?
Is he upset? Is he confused?
- No, he's pretty comfortable in himself.
- Damn.
- Yeah.
- That's twisted.
Is Van Helsing-
- That's twisted. [laughs]
- Van Helsing actually does walk up
to the lot of you after the open mic ends.
This was a wild as hell Shriek Week.
- Oh, yeah.
- It was, yeah.
- I'll say that again.
- Absolutely.
We're so sorry we asked
you to sh**t your crossbow
into the-
- Yeah, that was weird.
That was weird.
- And I saw you get
like absolutely eaten by the hole,
I was like, that was on us,
and they didn't deserve that.
I'm so sorry.
- It was,
what was that like, by
the way, on the inside?
- It's kinda like being drunk
in all of your body at once,
and then sleeping it off.
- Okay.
- Oh.
- But it was kinda, it was
a little nice, actually.
I haven't slept that well.
But that's beside the point.
The party's tomorrow, like
we're gonna start in the morning
and just go all night.
I'll give you my address.
Meet me at my place tomorrow morning.
I actually have something for all of you.
It's a little bit of a surprise, but uh-
- I'm a small.
- Ooh.
- I'm a size small.
- You still have my hat, right?
I do need that back,
'cause I plan on doing
this performance again.
- Okay, yeah, here you go.
- I put it back on.
- It's on like kinda sideways and sassy.
Like okay, Tuti.
What time should we meet you?
- Like 2:00 PM.
- Your presents are for
us tomorrow or right now?
- No, it's tomorrow.
- Great.
- Hell yeah.
- Cool.
- It's at my place.
I mean, bring it.
- We'll be there, maybe.
- Give me a hint?
- I can't make promises.
- I mean, okay.
- Yeah, I'll see you.
- I go and collect all my Tupperware
and kinda like, hey, did you guys enjoy?
- Yui is so full and so satisfied.
You can see like the
happiness in her eyes.
- Incredible, this is why I do this.
- And Drusille has like an
uncharacteristically large smile.
- Cool.
- So then with that, we're
gonna actually wrap up
on Friday night for Shriek Week.
Tomorrow, we're gonna go
into Van Helsing's party.
- Oh gosh.
- Things-
- And it's just a party, nothing crazy.
- Yeah, it's just a party.
- No surprises.
- Just a party.
- I promise you nothing.
And so, now, you all find yourself
at Van Helsing's house party.
- Oh!
- Okay.
He's rich.
- [Gabe] There is so much happening here.
There's a lovely library.
There's a dance floor happening.
There is a pool, as well as a hot tub
a little bit further off.
There's a side little
patio room for a little bit
of privacy, a nice little gazebo.
The kitchen, there is so much happening,
plenty of food.
- The game's on?
- They didn't do catering from you?
- Oh, no, I brought a ton of stuff.
No one asked for it, but I
did bring a ton of stuff.
- Okay, okay.
So who arrives first?
- Me.
- And me.
- Yeah, definitely.
Okay, cool.
- Yeah.
So Megan and Tuti, you
arrive at the same time.
And Megan, you get a text
from both Yui and Drusille
that they are going to
make their way there
in about half an hour.
- That, yeah.
- They are so excited to see you.
- They're so cool.
Of course, it'll be like an hour.
- I would get texts, too,
but you took my SIM card.
- I'm, wait, no, on the
way, could I have stopped
and gotten her a replacement
SIM card for her?
- Sure.
- This is just a new burner number.
So it's not like your actual number,
but at least you can-
- I lost all my contacts.
- Yeah, I'm so sorry.
- So would you have texted Cleets?
That's an important question.
- With my phone.
- No, with the new number.
- Yeah, with their phone, I was like,
hey, we should talk.
You're coming to this party, right?
- Yeah.
- Great, totally, we'll see you there.
- Awesome, excited to see you.
- We'll, I'll see you there.
We will also see you there.
- [Gabe] That's a weird clarification,
but yeah, dope, see you soon.
- Okay.
- So the two of you
arrive, make your way in.
Van Helsing greets you.
Okay, yeah, cool.
When the others get here,
I'll give you the thing.
- Oh, cool.
Is anybody else here so far?
- Uh, yeah, there is
actually plenty of people.
There is Girish, there
is Meyalth, the gorgon,
there is Fen, the werewolf,
and you even see Cubey.
- Ooh.
- And Cubie is making Jell-O shots,
not from themselves,
just for clarification.
- I get that.
Like we eat meat.
- Yeah.
- Kinda similar texture. [laughs]
- We eat human meat, similar
texture to ourselves.
Also, the hat from the show last night,
I bring it back and I said, I had it,
you can have it, Van Helsing.
- Thank you.
- It's for you.
Put it on.
- No, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna go put it with my other stuff.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
When you look away, they kinda went.
[group laughs]
- Didn't see it.
Didn't see it.
[group laughs]
- So where are you two gonna go
in the beginning of this party?
Where do you find yourself?
- Let's put our heads together.
- Snacks.
- It's, well, okay.
That's what I wanna do, too,
but that's where the lame people go.
I think we have to go
straight to the backyard
and start smoking cigarettes
and talking about, uh, Bukowski?
- Dance floor is not a cool place?
- No, not this early.
- Okay, okay.
Let's go to the pool.
- Okay.
- Let's go to the pool.
- Okay, see, I'd say
about half an hour later,
you two arrive as well,
but you two are classier,
and you come with your dates.
I don't mean, I realize how that sounded.
- Interesting.
[group laughs]
That was an option, like what are you,
what'd you do, like text them?
- It sounded like a slight,
I realize that, I didn't mean it. [laughs]
- Okay, so I ordered an
Uber Black for me and Korra.
The nails are red, the choker
has little fangs on it.
We're both wearing matching black and red
per Bram University Spirit Week,
and our fingers are intertwined.
- Yes.
- We came here
in a Honda Civic, and he
was eating a big sandwich.
- [laughs] Yeah.
- So that's gonna be,
that's a great clarification, Dani,
and I love your mind.
Terry, what do you show up wearing?
- Oh, I show up wearing a
nice kind of like patterned,
short-sleeved button-up,
definitely buttoned down.
The fur's kinda poking
through, some nice shorts.
We're talking some pretty short shorts,
showing off the quads, the calves.
I got a chain, a gold chain, not silver,
and nice like watch too.
- Okay, you didn't ask,
I noticed you didn't ask-
- I'm, that was the-
- 'Cause we're early.
- [Ify] Yeah, that's exactly it.
- Yes, that's exactly why.
- And we came up in an
Uber XL, because we big.
Uber XXL, made for monsters.
- Wow.
- So Megan, what are you wearing?
- I'm in a big t-shirt.
I'm in a big t-shirt.
You know when you get
dressed in your room,
and your like, this looks cool and weird,
and then you get to a party,
and you're like, okay, um,
everyone looks like really
nice, and I'm realizing
that the big t-shirt with jeans
isn't actually like that cool.
I think that happened to me tonight.
- What about you, Tuti?
- Okay, my bandages are
like, I replaced them.
They're not like cotton white.
They're like silk bandages, kind of like,
you know, what you'd
get in a karate class,
when you passed your new belt.
Okay, that's what I had
in my martial arts class.
I did Wushu, I did Chinese martial arts,
so just like silky, white bandages,
and it's like, with like gaps in between.
- Okay, okay.
- Okay.
- Cool.
- Van Helsing walks up
to you two and is like,
the other two are already here.
They're hanging out by the pool,
talking about something weird,
and it didn't make sense to me.
- We're talking about molly and Ibiza,
and we're talking about partying.
- Is everyone talking
about molly and Ibiza?
[group laughing]
- Do you two mind following
me back to the pool?
- Yeah, sure, sure.
- Perfect.
- And then, so Korra
looks at you and is like,
is there anything that you want to drink?
I'll go get us some.
- Oh, yeah, if they have
just like straight blood.
- What type?
- Oh, you know, my favorite's O, but-
- Perfect.
- I'm okay with an A.
- I know you like an O.
And then goes off to go get the drink.
Is there anything I
can get for you, Terry?
- No, no, you just you know,
where you gonna be at?
I'll come meet you.
- I'm gonna go to the kitchen.
- All right.
I'll meet you there.
- Maybe I'll find some peaches.
- Ooh.
Looking like a snack,
hanging with the snacks.
- Maybe he'll have his first kiss.
[group laughing]
- Wow.
- All right, so the rest
of you go out to the pool,
and Van Helsing comes out
with five bundles in their arm
and hands each of you one.
This is our Shriek Week,
and I appreciate you
getting me out of that weird hellboat.
- Okay, we put you in it, but thank you.
- But also.
- Hold on.
- The f*ck you doing?
- Nothing.
- So you're holding large,
like wrapped bundles
and I just, I wanted all
of you to have something
to remember this year, this
school and Shriek Week by.
And Gabe does actually
have a gift for all of you.
On your tables, there should
be a bundle about this size.
- What?
- What?
- Oh my gosh.
- Wait, I thought
those were sandbags.
- Nope.
- That's so funny.
- I also thought
they're were sandbags.
- What?
- It's so heavy.
- It looks like sandbags.
- I'm scared to open.
- What is yours?
- Oh my God.
What?
Yo!
- Wait, what the, what?
- Because we are the
Bram University Fiends.
- Wait, this is so nice.
- This is so nice,
and it really looks like it's
Boston University colors.
- Oh my God.
- It's school spirit.
- This smells nice.
- It smells really good.
- This is perfect.
- Whoa.
- Yo. We're so cool.
- It's so nice.
- Oh wow.
- Oh my God.
- Wow.
- This is so crazy.
- Oh, I feel so cute.
- Wait.
- Let me get in mine.
- Whoa.
- Oh my God.
- I feel buff.
- Oh my God, I love this.
♪ As we go on ♪
♪ We remember ♪
♪ All the times ♪
♪ We had together ♪
- And the credits roll.
- Copyright strike.
- I know.
We get like takedowns.
- But yeah, this was, I don't know.
You all did a lot for me,
and I've seen you grow
and do so much and friendship
means the world to me.
So I wanted to get you
all something, as well.
- Thank you so much, Gabe.
- No, that's Van Helsing.
Don't look at me.
- Thank you, Van Helsing.
I, Tuti,
give Van Helsing a kiss on the cheek,
very close to the mouth.
- Ooh.
- They lean into it.
- Okay. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
This the new Tuti?
- Miss New Tuti.
- Miss New Tuti.
I found you!
- Get it together, then
bring it back, Tuti.
- Okay.
- Wow.
- You hit the dance floor.
- Okay, Okay.
- I have to have
a conversation, I have
to have a conversation
with Cleets, but then I'm ready.
- You mean, my cousin?
- Yes.
- Make a social roll. [laughs]
- I thought we were past that as friends.
I thought we were past these rolls.
A 10 and a 1.
- Ooh.
- Ah.
- Wow.
- Critical success.
- Yeah, I know my game.
- Critical success, what does he say?
- Whatever, I don't know.
Have fun, I'll see you
around, and awesome.
- These are so cool.
Are they made from human.
They feel human skin.
- Yours is.
- Ah, thank you.
- But yeah, feel free, have fun
We've got drinking games,
we're gonna play some pong, actually.
Wanna see who could hold their breath
under water the longest,
we're gonna play that
game Two Truths and a Lie.
- Oh, I love that game.
- We're just gonna screw around.
- Love it.
- Oh my God.
- So the music starts going.
What do all of you wanna do?
Because the party is yours now.
We can do anything that you would like to.
What about you, Megan?
- [Ally] I really do wanna check out
this really nice library.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna go
to the kitchen and meet Asterith.
- [Gabe] What are you feeling, Tuti?
- [Lily] What's a place
for a private conversation?
- [Dani] The gazebo is far away.
I'm gonna go with my
girlfriend in the hot tub.
- Yeah.
- Ooh.
- Okay, so we're gonna
start with you, Terry.
You go over and find Asterith.
Korra's walking out past,
so it's just the two
of you in the kitchen.
Asterith is actually
holding two large melons
in her hands that are actual watermelons.
- Are you grabbing both
of those? Or can I?
- Puts them on her horns.
- Ah, okay.
- Juice starts dripping down a little bit.
- Oh, yeah, all right.
All right, I see what's going on.
I lick the juices off her horns.
- Yeah.
- Okay, the one
- Yeah, I see what's up with it.
- Where does the hands go?
- Right on the tailbone.
She's getting bold.
- You get the ooh.
- You just get, wow.
- I'm just gonna slip
out of this real quick.
- Oh, no, it's warm as hell.
I just-
- It's very warm.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's very warm.
- I'm gonna keep mines on.
- I'm just gonna kinda hold it.
[Dani laughs]
- So you're currently sucking
from the watermelon-laced
horn of Asterith.
- Well, you know, I got my
hand on the small of her back
and I'm just gripping her
abs while I'm licking,
licking the horn.
- Cool.
- Caressing the bottom of her bosom.
- Oh, hi abs, top abs.
- No, no, I'm going up and down.
- Oh.
- 'Cause you know, they're
washboard abs anyway.
- This just gets worse.
- Yeah, and so, yeah, yeah.
We're just doing too much in this kitchen,
since no one's coming in to stop us.
- Mothman walks in.
- Oh, what's up, Mothman?
- Now, hey, hey.
- If you need something,
that's cool.
We were just in the middle of, you know,
she spilled something
and we're cleaning it up.
- Yeah.
- Go ahead and get yourself a drink.
Don't rush outta here.
Look, I don't wanna, we're
not gonna hog the kitchen.
As a matter of fact, we're on our way out.
We actually gonna hang out, you know,
in the next room over.
We going, and we going to
the living room anyway.
- Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
- That'll be private.
- Do whatever, hey, this
is your room, Mothman.
Okay.
Are you taking the watermelons?
- Oh, did you want some?
Here, this one's all you.
All right, buddy.
- With his gross little tongue.
- All right.
- Yeah,
just kinda shoots into
the hole that was made.
- All right, so now we
just go to the living room.
- All right.
- We just watch
the game all cuddled up.
- You're going into the library.
- Yeah.
- Go ahead and make
a mental check, since you're looking
through this library for
something interesting.
[dice clatters]
- Oh, okay.
An 8, a 6 and a 1.
- So you're looking
around in this library.
Are you looking for anything particular?
- I guess I'm just trying to see
if there's like a certain like genre
that is like really
like, oh, you have a ton
of like philosophy books or like,
oh, you have a bunch of like
history books or something.
- There's a lot of biology books
about different monsters and
how they can go together.
- What do you mean?
- Biologically, how they can-
- Like breeding or something like that?
- Didn't wanna say it, but yeah.
- Okay.
Does this look like maybe
an inherited library
or this is one that Van
Helsing has put together?
- Looks like an inherited library.
- Okay, cool.
Well, I guess I'm just,
if there's a ghost one.
- There is.
- I wanna see
what they're saying about me.
[group laughs]
- Okay, you see "Pleasuring
a Poltergeist," specifically.
- Okay.
- It's kind of offensive,
'cause it's actually like
one of those sheet ghosts
but with really long legs and stockings.
- Totally. Yeah.
I go, annoying, typical.
Can I look out the window and see
this like big, scary looking tree?
- 100%
- Can I see if it's like,
a plant that's evil?
[group laughs]
- I mean, it is-
- I'm paranoid now.
- How were you gonna do that?
Are you gonna go out
and try to ferment it?
- No, I'm not gonna, I do
not wanna roll fermentation.
I guess just like mental, just see like-
- Go for it.
- Does this look like
an arm sh**ting out of the ground,
like at the end of Ninja Turtles level?
[dice clattering]
Don't worry about it,
don't worry about it.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
- It's a 2 and a 4.
- 2 and a 4.
You lean into the window tree.
Doo, doo, doo, and its
arm slams into the window-
- Oh, fudge.
- Okay, I go outside.
[group laughs]
- I love that you failed,
and it hits the window,
and you go pursue it.
- I'm like, this is a huge clue.
I must've done really well.
- You go closer to the
tree, and it does have
two large eyes in the
base just looking at you.
- I go, are you eating students?
- And one of its large, oaky limbs
starts going down towards you.
Are you moving?
- Um, no, no.
- What are you carrying on you?
- Oh my God.
- A big t-shirt, first and foremost.
- [Lily] Not carrying
it, you're wearing it.
- I got my phone, I have a small picture
of Robin Williams dressed
as Mrs. Doubtfire,
with his wife at the time.
- Oh no.
- And my keys.
- Your keys
come out of your pocket, in this branch.
- Whoa, hey!
- Make a physical check.
- Okay.
- It tries to throw them
in a mouth that appears on its base.
- Okay, a 9, an 8 and a 7.
- You do like snatch your keys
out before it actually throws
them into this materialized mouth.
- Is this tree f*cking with me?
Can I do a roll for that?
Or is it evil?
I go, hey, are you evil?
- This is just a f*cking weird tree.
- All right, all right.
It's hard to know what's
monster and what's like monster.
You know?
- It was outside Van Helsing's house.
Like, it might just keep
intruders away or some sh*t.
It knocked on the window.
It didn't try to stab you.
- Okay, I'm gonna run back
in, but right before I do,
I'm gonna yell, Todd,
Number XIII, is that you?
[group laughs]
- Ted.
- Ted.
f*ck.
[group laughs]
I go, Trudi!
I say, Teddy, number XIII, is that you?
- Yes!
[group gasps]
Hi.
Hi, and you see like
rolling out of the grass
is a gray Teddy.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Okay, I sprint inside.
[group laughs]
- Oh my God.
- I ran inside to get everybody else.
- Oh no.
- All right.
So go ahead and move yourself back
into the little dance and we're
gonna go move to you, Tuti.
Cleets does arrive, and
is like looking around,
and then finds you over near the gazebo.
Hey, hey, how you doing?
- Hey, oh my God.
You look so hot.
- Thank you.
And they're wearing like
a black leather jacket,
and they look like
they've got kind of like
tighter-fitting pants than
are actually necessary,
like skinny jeans.
- Wow.
Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
- I'm like, what is inside that?
But I know what's inside that.
Okay, I just, okay.
You have been so sweet, we've
had a really great time.
I feel like, like for instance,
do you know anything about me?
Like what do I like?
- You like photography.
You like structural engineering.
- Those are my majors.
What do I like?
- Those are the things
you talked to me about.
I thought you liked those.
- I don't feel like I
know anything about you.
Okay, what I'm trying to say is,
we've had a really nice time,
and I thought about it, but I was like,
this year is about new Tuti
and it's about me being,
not being with one person,
but being with lots of people
so that I can kind of
find myself through them,
and find myself through alone time.
So, and I also feel like,
you know, I am a lot.
I know I'm a lot.
Like my personality, and you're
like really strong and quiet
which is really hot, but I
don't know if in the long run,
not that you even asked, but I guess,
maybe I'm projecting into the future,
but I don't know if we're
actually that compatible
in the long run, like, 'cause you're so,
I don't know anything about you.
So I actually think maybe I'm gonna also
keep seeing other people.
Is that cool?
- We only really like started
spending time together
in the past week.
I didn't, I mean, there's not...
- And I'm saying, I'm
trying to date around.
Is that cool with you?
- No.
- No?
Okay, new Tuti is about
not getting tied down.
New Tuti is about maybe
fooling around with 20
to 50% of the student body, so.
I'm so sorry that's not-
- But like.
- Okay, I make a social roll for myself.
- [Gabe] Go for it.
- Hmm. A 1 and a 3.
- Why didn't you just be up front
about this beforehand?
I don't-
- Oh, this is gonna be a bad breakup.
- Oh my God.
- We knew each other for like four days.
- You make the choice.
- And I choose to be single.
- There's a lot more than just person
wrapped up under there.
There's a lot of insecurity
and stuff you need
to figure out, I guess.
- I leave.
I leave.
- I think I find you,
Tuti, in the backyard,
after screaming and
running through the house,
and stopping for like-
- I'm outside the gazebo
now being like, huh,
okay, I thought I was nervous,
and I thought that was gonna go badly,
and then it did go badly, huh.
- Put a pin in that, because I do really
wanna hear what happened?
- I mean, I broke up with Cleets,
but we weren't even
together, so I broke up,
but then he took it really personally.
He got mean.
- Whoa.
- And made it seem like it was my fault,
and maybe some of it is my fault,
but he is equally responsible for thinking
that we deserved to be together, you know?
- Yeah, definitely.
- But bad breakups are real, you know?
- [Ally] They are, yeah.
- And I think I'll probably, you know,
be really petty and kind of
get a lot of satisfaction
off of his failures for
the rest of senior year,
and that's okay.
- So we're gonna fade over
to something pleasant,
with Korra and Seven over in the hot tub.
- Oh, okay, so we just
got done with a round.
[group laughs]
- Theater in the round.
- We just got, whoo, I'm pulling fur.
Ooh.
- You know, I think it's
gonna be a good year, Seven.
- Yeah.
A great one.
This seemed like it
happened really quickly,
but I'm okay with it.
- Me too.
We can go at our own pace.
No one can decide that but us.
- I like all the paces.
- Are you okay?
- No, yeah, I'm fine.
I just, I've never done this before.
Well, I've done this before,
but I've never done this before.
- Which part?
- The serious part.
- Oh, yeah, it's terrifying, right?
- Yeah, yeah.
You know, I've watched my
parents just like f*cking
all over the place, and
it kind of messes you up.
- Oh yeah.
- A little bit,
and so, I don't wanna be them.
Though I did just f*ck someone in public.
- Well, Seven, you are
far from your parents.
- Right.
- What you told me,
and what I've heard, they
are both not necessarily
super honest with themselves
or their feelings.
- I think they're just really horny.
- Oh, I mean, we can go
at any pace you want.
- No, I enjoy this.
I just, I'm getting used to it,
and I'm glad you're my girlfriend.
- Me too.
- Do you have any, I don't know,
is your parents gonna be
okay with dating a vampire?
- Oh, they don't care.
My parents said as long as you're happy,
that's what matters the most.
- Oh, okay.
- Is it okay if I talk about you to them?
- Oh, sure, yeah, yeah.
I'd love to meet them,
as long as none of them,
I know we have a longstanding vampire
versus werewolf type of feud.
- Yeah, yeah, but some things
can be fixed like that.
- Right.
- I just didn't,
I don't wanna make you uncomfortable.
I don't know if, I don't
want it to be a secret,
but I didn't know if you
wanted it to be a secret.
- No, I don't, I think everyone knows.
- Well, I mean, outside of school.
- Yeah.
- I didn't wanna
embarrass you or anything.
- No.
No, my friends already do that enough.
- That's, yeah, your friends are strange.
- They're really weird, but I love them.
- Does it ever make you feel smarter?
- Definitely, yeah.
I feel more successful, I feel prettier.
Yeah, I definitely feel
smarter and prettier than them.
- Did Terry have a tattoo of Kevin?
- Yeah, yeah, that was kind
of like a prank gone wrong.
- Oh.
- Honestly,
and I think he has to live
with that now forever.
- Ah. Good.
- So.
Yeah, yeah, what's up with you and Terry?
I feel like y'all could've dated.
You're both wolves.
- No, no, no, no.
- [Dani] Why don't you like him?
- Have you heard him speak?
- I have, I have.
- I mean, it's-
- Yeah, no, listening to men sometimes
really is a turnoff.
- It's hard being a bisexual.
- Well, I mean, I guess we
can take it at our own pace.
- I'd like that.
- Okay.
- And at that point, you hear Megan like,
Tuti, Tuti, Tuti, Tuti, Tuti.
- I'm like, look, I know
I wasn't the clearest
at communicating, but
you have to be empathetic
to people who are just kind of
coming into their own, okay?
- Yeah, and both can be totally true.
- A commotion over here, and Mothman also
walked in me and Asterith
doing that thing,
where you're at the
party and then y'all both
have the blanket, and then you're sitting
on each other's lap but you're really
like actually inside each other-
- Oh, that thing.
- Oh, that thing?
That, put a finger down
if you've ever done that thing, right.
Okay, wait, but Megan, you
were saying something about-
- I saw Teddy XIII.
- Where?
- Gray, but outside.
- Let's go.
- Well, yeah.
- Okay, so you four are going.
Do you want to bring Korra with you?
- Oh, I feel, no, I don't
wanna put her in harm's way.
- Okay, so she'll stay socializing.
Do you want Asterith to come with you?
- No, yeah, we'll just hold it down.
- Cool.
- We should definitely
bring Cleetus with us.
- Asterith and Korra stay.
Actually, Asterith and Korra
go over and talk to Cleets.
- To Cleets? Okay.
I do want your partners to be on my side.
I don't want them to pick sides, but.
- They're just getting more info.
- Korra's kinda shady, though.
- Drusille and Yui do
come in, and they each
give you a kiss on the
cheek before walking around
to go with those few, as well.
- Oh, cool.
Yeah, it's like great to see them.
- I'm sure they'll be able
to see your side of things,
except for Korra.
- Yeah.
I think the more we talk about sides,
the more we're making a
mountain out of a molehill.
You know what I mean?
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's one weekend.
- Maybe Asterith
talk them down-
- Yeah, maybe.
- While Korra's right over there.
- Wow, you seem very like anti-fellow-
- Well, you know, she code switches.
She doesn't use her wolf voice.
You think all wolves-
- Oh, gotcha.
- She's out here code switching.
- Yeah.
- Something about our lupine vocal cords
have to be more-
- Oh, interesting.
- Scratchy.
- Wow.
- So you have some wolves
who try and talk, you know-
- Wow.
- Okay.
- Yeah, not even the morning
news guy code switches.
- Make a mental check for me.
- Okay.
- A gray head sticks
around the corner to look
at you and then disappear.
- Oh, okay, I think I saw the-
[group laughs]
- I unwrap one of my silk bandages.
I go, let's go.
- I kind of bunch up a lot of my shirt.
Let's go.
- That's right.
That's right.
We're ready.
- Okay, let's go.
Can we run through the-
- Yeah, I mean you-
- I guess we'll follow you.
- [Gabe] You sprint around the corner.
- [Dani] I sprint, I'm leading the charge.
- [Gabe] You sprint around the corner,
you see about 20 feet off, Teddy XIII,
standing there, just
wearing a pair of red jeans.
But the red jeans look like they do have
some white at the bottom.
They look like they
might be red unnatural.
- Teddy, where have you been?
- I've been talking to the Hive.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Oh, where's the Hive?
[bones cracking]
- Put your cod juice on him.
- Would you like some cod juice?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Let's slow the trigger fingers here.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've k*lled enough.
- Yeah.
- And his tongue goes freakishly long out,
and like licks up the shoulder,
and then goes back in his mouth.
- So where is the rest of the Hive?
- It is now spreading.
I have been gifted with life and power,
and I shared it with my siblings.
- That makes a lot of sense.
Okay, so he went, that's why nothing
was in the basement anymore.
He went and set all of them free.
- Oh great.
- Biting all of them.
- I just came to see how
all of you were doing
before I said goodbye.
- No, I wanna roll for it.
- Okay, what are you trying to roll?
- I guess mind reading, my brujeria.
- Go for it, roll it.
[dice clatters]
- 3, 6, 6 and a 10.
- Hey.
- So you try to go into Teddy's mind,
and you do link and you
hear 18 simultaneous voices.
Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry.
- That can't be right.
- When you go into his mind,
you do feel a connection
between multiple other figures,
almost like a shared consciousness.
- Yeah, he just is like connected
to all of the other Teddies.
- Yeah, but are you able to get a view
of where these Teddies are?
- Do I have a view of where they are?
- They seem like at varying
distances, actually.
None of them seem like they're,
it's like if you're hearing stereo,
and there's a bunch of
different placements
as to where they are.
None of them are in the
same spot, it feels like.
- Okay, none of them are in
the same spot, it feels like.
- None of them are at the party?
- Just this one, that you can see.
- I'm trying to have a free senior year,
and now I have a bitter ex,
who wasn't even an ex.
We just kinda flirted for a week.
He was just a tall hottie.
- You did kinda lead him on.
- I didn't lead him on.
- Ah.
- Mm.
- I literally never said-
- You gave him head in the tub,
and then when he wanted
to go back to the room,
you were like, no, and then,
when he was with someone else,
you were like, well, I'm gonna tag along.
And then-
- Is that a lead on?
- Yeah, I mean, why
did you care if he went
with someone else, if
you don't care about him?
- Yeah.
- I did get jealous.
- Yeah.
- And I did, okay,
but you know how you don't
wanna be with someone,
but you don't want them
to be with someone else?
But that's very normal.
- No, that's serial k*ller stuff.
I would know.
[group laughs]
- Damn, Teddy, damn.
- Connect with Teddy.
- Teddy,
this conversation is not for you.
Teddy, I'll check you out.
- You'll check me out?
- I'll check you out.
- Oh.
- Teddy, what happened here,
the guy with the beard, though,
the other Teddy?
- [Gabe] Teddy, the wrong Teddy.
- The what?
- The wrong Teddy.
- The wrong Teddy.
- The wrong Teddy,
why is he the wrong Teddy?
- 'Cause he was the boss and
kind of controlling everyone?
- Wrong Teddy.
- I mean,
he did seem a little wrong.
- Did you find him, 'cause he-
- No, have you seen him?
- Yes, I have, back at campus.
- Ah.
- Why would you tell him that?
- So I think you should
get all 14 of your brothers
in one place, all 18 of
your brothers in one place,
in the campus, so y'all
can g*ng up on Teddy,
and not so we can all rip you apart.
- Yeah, definitely not that.
- Definitely not that.
- Okay.
My pet plant, you messed with
it, but it was a good test.
It was a good test, and
you see a familiar sight.
Behind Teddy, a vortex of smoke appears,
and a large hand goes out,
and Teddy steps back onto it.
- Oh, a giant hand that he can stand on.
- I go, throw in your pickles,
throw in your pickles.
- I throw in one pickle.
- No, you all see this.
These two just remember
it, because the last time
you saw it, it was in the dean's office.
- I claw it, I claw the hand.
Not so fast.
- Okay, physical.
- I grab, I'm sorry,
Tuti's bandages again.
- Stop, no, stop, those are not for you.
This is silk, this silk.
- Like a lasso.
- I pull them back.
- I grab them like a lasso.
- I'm doing a physical against her.
I'm doing a physical against her.
- Physical, physical.
- I lasso, and try to-
- No, you don't.
- Lasso him.
- Great.
I would also like to make a physical,
and just try to grab the hand.
- Perfect.
- With Terry.
- 7, 4, 2, 9.
- 7, 4, 2, 9.
Okay.
- 6 and a 1.
- Okay.
So you try to move Tuti forward-
- No, I'm trying to help.
- Tuti holds-
- You're not helping.
- Holds the-
- This is silk.
- You're not helping.
- This is silk.
- And Terry, you run forward, and then,
slam your claws into this hand,
and Megan is like holding
you front the waist behind
with a little bit of extra hold,
and Teddy looks down at
the hand that kind of like,
when you put your claws into it, why?
Why don't you want us to go?
- Because it's time for you to be done,
and I like, just rip out
his throat with my mouth.
- Oh my God.
- You go forward and it just comes out,
almost like just tearing apart a pinata.
- I'm sorry, Teddy.
But this has to stop.
I gotta kiss my girlfriend.
[group laughs]
- Not with that mouth.
- Wow.
- His body falls down backwards.
And in a snap, you all find
yourselves standing around
the pool again.
- Oh, sh*t.
- So Cleets is standing with Asterith,
Korra, Yui, and Drusille,
and it looks like
they're just laughing and drinking
and having a relatively good time.
- Great.
- Looks he's over it.
- Okay.
- I mean, I'd be hurt if something
was over with that quick.
- Okay.
- Okay, let's not feed
this side of things.
- Okay.
- Mentally healthy year.
- Living his best life.
- Pettiness is part of
the human emotional range,
and people gotta feel lit.
Jealousy, too.
Jealousy's a normal human emotion.
It's not healthy to suppress it.
- It's definitely true, yeah.
It's definitely true.
- So Korra actually comes after to you.
Are you good, darling?
- I walk over to Asterith.
- As you walk over to Asterith, she like-
- Hey, how's it going?
- Take off your jacket.
- All right, let me see your hands.
And I need you to make
a physical check for me.
[dice clattering]
- 9, 10, 7 and 6.
- Okay, so she is pushing against you,
pushing against you, pushing against you,
and you are holding strong.
She's trying to push you forward and back.
Now, make one more physical check for me,
but only roll two die this time.
- Okay.
- Does she have hooves?
- Yes, she does.
- Nice.
- A 10 and a 3.
- Okay, you see her
actually trying to push you
into the pool, but you turn her around.
- Bye, baby.
- And you push her in.
Are you going in after her?
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah?
- So she goes falling
back, giggling, laughing.
You dive into the pool after her.
- Ooh, but I don't come up for awhile.
[group laughing]
- Korra looks at you, Seven.
You didn't wanna do that, did you?
- You know, we had our fun earlier, but...
- [Gabe] She hops in.
- Oh, okay, we're going
in there with them.
All right, and I hop in, too.
- Awesome.
- It's a big pool.
- This is interesting.
Is Terry, is he?
Oh, okay.
- Oh, God, this is so disturbing.
- I love it, I love it,
I'm so here for this.
I'm the biggest fan.
[group laughing]
It wasn't uncorpselike.
That's the thing.
- Yui looks at you, Megan.
I don't think I'm going to do that.
- Okay, yeah, we can just
put our feet in or something and have fun.
- And she walks over, and
as she steps onto the pool,
it actually freezes underneath her feet.
And she kinda just sits on the edge.
- Not the whole pool.
Just a little bit?
- Yes.
- Oh, I was like, we
gotta save our friends.
[group laughing]
- And Drusille does actually
pull her pants legs up
and just dip her feet into the pool
and relaxes a little bit, and they,
the two of them actually
pat a spot in between them.
- Love it, I park it right there.
- And they both lean over and give
you a cheek on both sides of your face.
- Cute! Yeah.
- Yes, you very much are.
- What are you guys doing after this?
Let's watch "Sisterhood
of the Traveling Pants."
- Sure.
And Yui speaks up, will you
teach me about fermentation?
- [chuckles] Yes.
Yes, I will.
I pull out a fistful of raisins.
[group laughing]
And I just start describing them.
- Make a fermentation or a social check.
I'll let you pick.
- You know what?
It's the last episode.
We'll do fermentation.
- Yeah!
[dice clattering]
- Oh, I thought it was two ones.
It's a 1 and a 7.
- Okay, okay.
So you go into details about fermentation,
and Yui does actually seem
like she's keeping up.
She's understanding.
- Cool.
Yeah, it's fun.
You're making cool food.
Like, who wouldn't wanna do this?
- And Cleets walks up to
you with a drink in hand,
and hands you a drink.
It's called a Bleeding Heart.
It is gin, there's pickled
beet, there's brine in it.
It's a little strong.
Can I be honest?
- Yes.
- This wouldn't have been an issue
if I had known that beforehand,
the way you felt, basically.
- And that is my bad,
and I am just learning
how to communicate better.
- I don't think we can be friends.
- That's totally okay.
- I'm mad and upset at you.
- Wow, very big of you.
No pun intended.
- Yeah, I get that a lot.
- Okay, truce.
- I reach out and I say,
did you say pickled beet?
And I drink it.
- It's delicious.
- I wrote it down, I wanna try it.
[group laughs]
- I go, truce, I'll see you around.
- Yeah, bye.
- I go to the dance floor,
and I unwrap all my top.
- Make a social check.
- [Ally] Only two, only two dice.
- That's a 9 and a zero.
- No, a 10.
- Oh, a 10, that's a 10 and a 9.
- There's no zero on the die.
- There's a critical success.
- You are k*lling it, you are vibing,
and you're like dancing, getting it,
dancing, getting it.
You turn around, and you see yourself.
But green.
Cubey is duplicated
themselves to look like you,
and is dancing with you.
- Honestly, for tonight, fine.
- [Gabe] Yeah.
- I wanna use my magic to
make this pool like bubbly.
- Ooh, yeah.
- And I want it
to be like sh**ting up like at Disneyland.
- Oh my God, like a whole show?
- Do it.
- Okay.
And maybe like, it
whoo, goes up, you know,
a couple places, feels a little good.
- Whoo, okay, okay, okay, I'm about it.
- You know, like at Disneyland.
- You know? Yes.
I got a 10, an 8, a 1 and a 4.
Get ready to be bubbled.
- It is bubbling beautiful, bountiful,
and it feels pretty dang-
- Those jets.
- Damn good.
- Is Terry still under water?
- No, Terry comes up,
you shot water in my a*s.
- You liked it.
- When he comes up,
he is covered in hair.
His hair is fully formed.
- And Terry, you hear
a voice in your head.
You're welcome.
And you recognize that voice.
It was Teddy Prime.
- Oh, yeah.
All right, and I go back under water.
- I think that's a good place.
- We did it.
- You really did.
You made it through "Shriek Week."
- Senior year.
- Senior year, baby.
- Spirit Week, BU, be yourself.
- Be you.
There is nothing that could
go wrong at Bram University,
the school for monsters,
where you just have to be you
and you all found someone
to go to the party
if you wanted someone to
go with you to the party.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- And that's what matters in the end.
- We did it.
- Well done, y'all.
Well, thank you, all of you at this table
for joining me for this adventure.
- Yes, thank you for this.
- And thank you,
all of you watching for joining us
on this chaotic adventure.
Take care.
- Senior year.
- [Gabe] Senior year.
Hey, hey.
- [All] BU!
- Yes!
[group laughs]
[group growling rhythmically]
[dramatic music]
[mouse clicks]
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12x04 - Van Helsing's Party
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.