- [Brennan] A list of the topics, themes,
and subject matter
featured in this episode
has been included in
the video description.
♪ Here we go ♪
♪ T-T-T-Taking over, teenage rebellion ♪
♪ It's our time, it's our year ♪
♪ No more fantasizing about it ♪
♪ Everything's about to change ♪
♪ We're all gonna be okay ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, let's go ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, let's go ♪
Hello, one and all!
Welcome back to another thrilling episode
of "Dimension 20: Fantasy
High Junior Year".
I'm your humble dungeon
master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me, as always, are
our Intrepid Heroes.
Say hi, Intrepid Heroes.
- Hi, Intrepid Heroes.
- Last we left off, boy, last
one was a thick 'sode, g*ng.
- Yeah.
- [Lou] As they say.
- Started at the Vulture Dimension,
bebopped over to the Thistlespring Tree
to wrap up the battle
with Interim Emergency Backup
Principal Arcturus Grix,
slew him where he hovered,
and then discovered
secret goings-on underneath the stage,
these sort of red stingers
and a 24 point constellation
underneath the stage.
We went into the Far Haven Woods
looking for some clues
of the Rat Grinders,
and indeed, found the body
of one of the Rat Grinders,
AKA the High 5 Heroes as long
ago they were once known,
as well as the body of Yolanda Badgood
who apparently, to the
best of your knowledge,
had come here seeking the body
of her former student, Lucy Frostblade.
Finding both of those
bodies and then giving
an anonymous tip off to
let the authorities know
where they were so that the
families could be informed,
all of you headed back into observing
whatever strange mystery is
now unfolding in this place.
Weird connections, the
strange shatter-stars
emerging from Cassandra as she fell
in the wizards' food
court, goings-on with Bakur
and the gem inside of Lydia
Barkrock's chest and the notes
from her former adventuring
party members, Cormyr and Rana,
and various other odds and
ends all coming together
surrounding this group, the Rat Grinders,
and Kipperlilly Copperkettle
and her campaign
for student body president.
The end of last session, Riz
got in a car with his mom
to talk about Frosty Fair
and this sort of embezzlement case that
followed up on after the
events at Frosty Fair.
Gorgug, hitting the books
once again with an A+
in barbarian classes this time around.
- Woo!
- Grades slipping on the more
advanced artificer stuff,
but you got your MCAT signed
for the back half of the year.
So hopefully-
- We're feeling good.
- We're feeling good, we're feeling good.
- We're feeling bad, but we're
feeling hopefully positive.
- That's right. And Riz and Gorgug got
some extra stress tokens at
the end of the last sesh.
Any more disadvantage? Where
is that headed to, fellas?
- sh*t, I've gotta-
- Oh yeah, I think I've
still got to apply mine.
- [Brennan] Yeah, take a look.
- Shoulda done it in attack.
- Do it in attack!
- That's a really good idea.
- Put it in attack.
- [Brennan] That's a great idea.
Actually, I didn't allow
attack to be one of the things
'cause it didn't make sense to me.
No matter how stressed you are-
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- ...you can always hit stuff.
That's actually what stress is for.
I had a nice talk with a pal
about how stress isn't always the bad guy.
Sometimes if you need to fly into combat,
a little bit of stress goes a long way.
We also had Adaine furious
at the seemingly unwinnable
state of economic affairs for
teen employees in Elmville.
Turns off, you can't become
rich working at a soda fountain.
- Turns out yeah, you're like, oh wow,
I worked for three hours.
That covers the coffee
that I had this morning.
- But we got in touch
with Aelwyn Abernant,
our wonderful Adaine's sister,
who revealed she's been working for-
[suspicious music]
- [Siobhan] The enemy!
- For the enemy!
- Again! Aelwyn!
- Again! Hey, relapse is real.
- I thought you were good now!
- Aelwyn!
- Aelwyn!
So we are going to cut back-
- Aelwyn and the Chipmunks.
- Aelwyn and the Chipmunks.
Aelwyn!
[players squeaking]
So we cut now to Adaine and Aelwyn.
You've got some sandwiches.
Aelwyn is sort of leaning against
[light, whimsical music]
the outside hood of her car.
You're in Clearbrook
looking at the burned down
remnants of the Abernant home
which, years later, have not been touched.
Diplomatic immunity process
means that the authorities
can't come and clean up this place
because it's technically Fallinel soil.
It's just what it is,
so there's this big old burned down house.
You see Aelwyn kind of
thousand yard staring
off into the distance, holding
a sandwich and being like,
"I mean, it's just good money, you know.
They don't hardly make
anything at Oakshield.
You know, the first year teachers-"
- Sure, but Cottoncandy Bitchfuck?
Why are you working for her? She's awful.
And what are you doing?
And how are you making so much money
working for her when she's a child?
- Well, that's a rather interesting point.
She's incredibly loaded, and
I don't think it's her family.
I think her father's a real estate agent?
- Oh.
- And it's not, like, selling
big mansions or whatever.
He's just, you know...
- Just a guy.
- And her mum, I think
she works as a clerk
downtown in the bursar's office,
or the treasurer's office, of the city.
- Sure. So what are you doing?
- Well, I'm not really
supposed to tell, but-
- Oh, come on.
- [Brennan] Do you wanna make it worth-
- You came to my job to tell me.
- I'm...
Bored.
- We're all bored.
That's not true, I'm not bored at all.
I'm just very tired.
- How are things going?
Are elves teleporting in from Fallinel
to bother you at your
soda fountain job?
- I know, and it's so weird,
and they don't understand
that that's not appropriate.
And also they don't seem to understand
how being the Elven Oracle works.
They think I'm just sort of like
a slot machine for future ramblings?
I don't know! I sometimes
have a dream that's important.
Seems to be mostly about
me, and every now and again,
I get some weird dream that I'm like,
"Is this something? I don't know."
But they come in and say,
"Hey, what's happening
with my eldest daughter's
marriage proposal?"
And I say, "I don't know who you are
and I don't know anything about that."
- Wow. Well, you certainly
had a lot of criticism
for the previous Elven Oracle,
and it seems to me that, you know-
- Look, hindsight is 50/50.
I don't know what to tell you.
- I suppose so.
You know, if you're not
getting the financial support
you need for those expensive
material components,
there are ways of getting money, Adaine.
And you don't even have to
come work for Kipperlilly.
You can- I mean, there's a million things.
- Again, what are you doing
for her? You have to tell me.
- Look, she needs me to procure certain...
I think it's material components.
I think I'm just
smuggling. It's contraband.
- Oh, okay.
- I asked her, I said,
you have a wizard in
your adventuring party.
Why doesn't he just do it?
And she got very weirdly
protective and she was like,
Oisin can't be, you know.
I have to protect him.
Which could just be a grades thing,
not wanting him to be expelled
'cause of how it could affect her,
if she's Little Miss Overachiever.
- Sure.
- But effectively,
the things I'm getting for her...
She had some arcano-tech electrical gear.
- Did she? She needed that?
- Yes, certainly.
I mean, you know, I can't
say I'm not interested.
I've kept a record of
everything that she's asked for.
- Was one of them some
kind of cloud situation?
- A cloud situation? I can't say so.
- Fabian had a thing stolen,
and I would love for it to
have been her that stole it.
Oh, I would love that.
- Well, certainly I haven't stolen-
- A Cloud Rider.
- Oh, a Cloud Rider.
Oh, she brought that up.
- She did? How interesting.
- But she didn't want me to-
- Oh, I love this.
Oh, tell me everything about it.
- All right! You are salivating.
- I literally am.
- She says,
she mentioned something
about a Cloud Rider Engine.
She asked if there were...
There's a number of different
companies that make them.
They're obviously extremely expensive.
So it's not like there's
- Sure.
too many different models of them.
But she asked about a couple
specific different models,
and if it would be possible
just to get schematics for one.
- Huh.
- And I said,
you could probably just go
to their website and download
a PDF, if you're just looking
for an owner's manual.
But she was sort of confused
about how that would work
or something like that.
So I just was...
- Wow.
So she's stupid as well. This is great.
She doesn't know how to use Google?
- I think she's afraid
of doing anything on-
- Oh, she doesn't want it...
She wants you to Google it
so that it's on your
computer and not hers.
- Mm-hmm.
- And how is she communicating with you?
How is that happening?
What secret text message
thread are you on with her?
Can I see it?
- She's never sent me
a text. Only in person.
- Oh! Can I come next time?
I will be invisible.
I'll scry on you.
I'm begging you, please.
- That sounds- instead
of you coming with me
and putting yourself in the
middle of my livelihood,
I think scrying on me sounds delightful.
- Great.
I love you so much.
You're great now. You're perfect.
- Oh!
- Thank you.
- She gives you a big hug and
goes, "I love you so much.
The only things that have
been difficult for me to get-
I mean, some of the things she
asks for are just very simple
in terms of probably wanting
to get her money's worth,
if she already has me running around
as her arcane errand girl.
But she asked for two things
that I wasn't too familiar with
because they sort of fall
outside of what I would call
classical arcana and far more
into the realm of the divine,
which is a little bit outside
of my purview. - [Siobhan] Okay.
- She asked me to go collect
something called devil's nectar,
which I had to run down
and I had to go all the way
to Bastion City for.
- Disgusting.
- And ambrosia, which I think
is a little bit more commonly-
I mean, I know what ambrosia is,
but getting it is certainly challenging.
- Oh yeah, we all know what ambrosia is.
But just for people who
maybe wouldn't know-
- Do you not know what
ambrosia is? Oh, little sister.
- I don't take cleric classes!
- [Brennan] I know.
- I don't care about that stuff.
- I know, you're so buff these days,
running around with a sword.
- It's so weird.
- I can't imagine you've cracked a book
in a long time.
- I just am like,
why do I have to show
that I believe in a god
when I've literally seen
them, do you know what I mean?
- Certainly.
- They're there all the time.
I don't have to believe in it.
It's like me believing in you.
Which I do, sometimes. I do
sometimes believe in you.
- [gasps] How very tender.
You see she puts an arm around your neck
and kinda gives you a noogie
and is like, "So sentimental." [smooching]
- I cast Tasha's Hideous Laughter on her.
[Brennan cackling]
- [Siobhan] Just for old time's sake.
- I've elected to submit to this
because I honestly need a laugh.
She laughs a bit with you and says,
"Well, I'll keep you apprised.
The next time I meet with her,
I'll try to run that down."
- Great.
- To be honest, there are gaps in time.
I mean, the longest I've gone
is about three or four weeks
without hearing from her.
Sometimes I'll hear from her
multiple times in a week.
She just shows up at the school.
- It's just so weird that
she's doing all of this,
because you know how they get better?
It's just, they go out into
the woods and k*ll rats.
Which is so gross and weird
and also just, like, so boring?
Do you know what I mean? Why
are they being so boring?
Like, even when you
were being really evil,
you were at least doing things
that were interesting and cool.
- That really means a lot,
and I appreciate that.
[Emily laughing]
I'm not feeling...
Here, I think I'm done with my sandwich.
She sort of takes you off to drive-
It's a weekend day.
She's like, "Do you want
to come see my apartment?"
- I do. We did leave my job
in the middle of my lunch.
- [groans] All right.
You see she says, "Fine. Let
me just drop some things off."
She peels out at the corner, runs inside.
It's this very small
little apartment complex
that's almost more like a motel.
There's not even multiple stories to it.
She walks into a little place.
You get a look through the door
of her walking into her apartment,
and there's a bunch of abjuration
runes and stuff like that.
The f*cking odor
of unwashed laundry and cat urine
coming from inside of her
apartment is just otherworldly.
There's a lot of microwave
dinner trays around everywhere.
- Okay. Hey, you know,
I don't know if you...
You probably don't have laundry here,
but if you ever wanna
come to Mordred Manor and
just do that there-
- Listen, the funky little family
sort of sitcom thing going on at Mordred
is honestly so wonderful and I
wish everyone there the best.
- Sure, I mean, if you want
to just cast Invisibility
on yourself, come over, use the laundry,
hang out in my room.
- Do you think that would be all right?
The laundromat is just so-
- Who's gonna know?
- The hours of the laundromat
don't make any sense.
- They don't make any sense
because they're open during work hours,
but then if you need to use
a laundromat, you're at work.
- I'm at work, exactly. I just can't...
I do genuinely care for
everyone at Mordred.
I just can't be in a place
where I say another mean joke
and everyone looks at me like, wow.
- Honestly, they're so
nice. They're so nice,
and I really do appreciate
them taking me in,
and sometimes I just have to hide.
It's just, the niceness-
- There's so much love.
The niceness.
- They're so nice.
- They're so nice.
- And I did need that,
and I do need that, but there are times
where it feels so messed up that I'm like,
I wish somebody was a little
bit mean to me sometimes.
- Honestly, I'm happy to hear you say it.
I think niceness is a
little bit of a curse,
if I'm being honest.
You see that this ancient-looking
cat in her apartment
just goes [croaks] and just vomits,
and she goes, "No, Hector!"
and goes and takes him up,
and you see she starts, "Oh,
my sweet little boy is sick.
What was I saying? Yeah,
kindness, who needs it?"
And you see she wanders off
into her very smelly apartment.
- Okay, I'll Dimension Door back to work.
- All right. I need to
take care of Hector.
I'm sorry, I hope you understand.
- No no no, no problem.
- Please don't tell Fabian...
Just don't tell anyone that
my apartment looks like this.
- You tell me when I need to scry.
Just text me, just text me.
- I'll sh**t you a text.
- I'll just keep the spell
stocked at all times,
so I'll be ready.
- Ta-ta.
And she closes the door
and moseys off. Riz!
- Mm.
- The Gukgak.
- The Gukgak. You're
in a car with your mom.
- The Gukgak.
- The Gukgak!
- The Gukgak.
- The Gukgak.
- Gukgak, back again!
- And she looks over-
- The Gukgak is back!
- Is this new? Did I miss something?
- You don't remember your
nickname from sophomore year?
The Gukgak!
- The Gukgak attack.
- The Gukgak Guy.
- I'm the Gukgak Guy.
- Yeah, you see that your mom
is sort of driving you off
to some extracurriculars.
You might have a weekend
Aviation League thing to do.
- We meet on midnight on
Saturdays and also Tuesdays,
I think, and Thursdays.
Unless that's Soil Club,
which is on alternating days of the week.
- Well, that sounds like
a whole lot, darling.
You're in a thing called Soil Club?
- Yeah. You'd think that it'd be called
Plant Club or something like that,
'cause we do kinda learn to grow stuff,
but there's just a huge focus on soil.
And I tried to talk to the
mole guy about the soil
and he really freaked out at me.
- Wow, okay.
- Yeah, it's been tough. But what's up...
[tiredly] What's up with this weird faire,
and people are dying or something?
- Oh, Riz, you have to sleep, kiddo.
- I can't, Mom. I don't have time.
- Oh god.
Well, sweetie, the case got
suspended because my clients
were, I think, m*rder*d.
- Okay.
- Here, I can share what I
was sent. I mean, obviously...
You see that she has a whole
defense case written up
about them being charged
with embezzlement,
which is what caused
Frosty Fair to withdraw.
So the festival was supposed to happen
at this place called Loam
Farm outside of Elmville.
- Got it.
- And there was a married firbolg couple,
Alonso and Hespia Loam.
There was some evidence
that they embezzled.
Actually, before it went to court,
just based on kinda the rumor of it,
I think Frosty Fair pulled from them,
and they had to find a last minute...
This was back when-
- Got it.
- It was the long night,
and Frosty Fair pulled
in reaction to the news.
But when I talked to them, you know,
they didn't have enough money
to hire a defense attorney,
so they went with a public defender.
And when I talked to them,
they were adamant that they were innocent.
Not that that necessarily...
I mean some people will, you know-
- Right.
- But for what it's
worth, I believed them.
And the case we were building
was actually gonna be a slam dunk.
They came up to prove that
there were some forgeries
in documents that were
submitted on their behalf.
- Yeah, considering that the Frosty Fair
we went to completely went to sh*t,
it seems like they were
probably framed or something.
- That was my thought as well.
It seemed like they were
framed. I couldn't tell you why.
The reason I had a hard
time trying to prove it
is there's no monetary incentive
to frame the Loams for embezzlement.
- I think they're trying to
summon a demon or something.
There's, like, just another thing.
[exhausted] They had all
these, like, runes and stuff
that was, like, under the stage.
There's, like, these red stars.
They, like, turn people into giants.
- Kiddo.
- Yeah?
- Why don't I just pull
over, you take a nap.
You want to just take a 10 minute nap?
- All right, yeah, I'll
take a 10 minute nap.
Thank you, Mom.
- She pulls over the car.
- I fall asleep instantly.
- You're instantly asleep.
One of those foil blankets
for emergencies is on you,
a little space blanket.
And you see your mom is sitting there.
You can see it's been
more than 10 minutes.
It's been like an hour and a half.
And she has food and a soft drink
and other stuff like that. A bag of chips.
Hey, kiddo.
- Thanks, Mom. Okay.
- What's going on with you?
- So much. Just so much.
- How are you so stressed out?
I feel like I keep
getting your report cards-
- No, yeah.
- They're all great. They're all A pluses.
You're k*lling all your extracurriculars.
Where is the stress coming from?
- Everything's going good.
It's just, everything is
going, you know what I mean?
It's like, we've got this...
Normally it's like we're
just off on an adventure,
and we got the one thing
that we're trying to stop,
but now we have to
hunker down and actually,
everyone's got to do really
well in school and everything,
and we're all, you know,
struggling to keep our grades up
and do all our crazy extracurriculars,
and then there's this red star thing
that's making everybody go crazy.
It's just a lot.
- You know, you could tell some people.
We could go talk to the Council
of Chosen. There are adult-
- We can't do that, Mom! There's just...
We told...
So, we did tell somebody, and
then she got...
People k*lled her.
So it seems like telling
people isn't, like, great.
Mom, you have to be so careful.
- Riz, you don't need
to worry about me, okay?
I'm very capable of protecting myself.
- Okay, yeah.
- I don't want you to put
all of this pressure on you.
Look, people summoning
demons is really, really bad.
I agree, we don't want
demons running around.
Did you see any demons
pop out at Frosty Fair
from this demon summoning thing?
- No, but I've seen...
I was at a mall... at the mall-
[players laughing]
Everyone at that mall was really mad,
and then Fig tried to eat a shrimp.
And then the shrimp, like,
went into a god's mouth.
- Keep my name out of your mouth.
- And Fig was, like, really
being weird about it.
We've seen sort of...
We've seen sort of the power
of this demon manifest before,
but I don't know what came
from this summoning attempt.
But they were trying to-
there was stuff hidden in the lyrics,
and then there were all
these runes and stuff
hidden under the stage.
And Grix tried to stop it,
and then he kinda just attacked everybody.
- Okay.
Are you...
I know I should be worried
about these demons.
- Right.
- I'm really worried about you.
- Yeah, it's, you know,
it's all good.
[players snickering skeptically]
It's all good, Mom.
It's definitely... It's definitely...
We're going. We're doing it, you know?
We're what, like, what
month is it? October?
- It's November, sweetie.
- There we go. Perfect.
- It's almost Christmas.
- I actually have a name
for the midwinter holiday.
At least in Solace, it's named after
a halfling traditional holiday
called the Moonar Yulenear.
- Yulenear.
- It's almost near the Yulenear.
Yeah, I feel like junior year's just...
We gotta kinda power
through, and we don't...
You know, all this work we've done,
I really don't want it to be for nothing.
- She looks at you a little bit.
Give me a Deception check.
[dice rolling]
- [Murph] Oh, not bad. 14.
- [Brennan] Yeah, a lot of work.
- Mm-hmm.
- Your friends are working
really hard, too, right?
- Yeah, in their own way.
I think, yeah, everybody's
actually working really hard.
Maybe that wasn't true like a month ago,
but everybody's really hunkered down.
Fig has like three majors now.
- All right.
- Maybe four. I might
take a level of wizard.
- You see that she looks and says,
"You're a pretty hardworking
kid under most circumstances.
And in past years, you've been going on
really big adventures and
taking care of your grades.
You've added a lot of extracurriculars.
Something tells me you might have
more than just school and a big adventure
on your back,
'cause I'm looking at how
overworked and tired you are."
- I'm doing some light
tutoring on the side.
Just some flash card stuff.
- I see all this student government stuff.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Are you-
- So, I'm a campaign manager.
Another extracurricular.
Very good for the ol' scholarships.
- Who's running for student president?
- Kristen Applebees, believe it or not.
- Huh.
[Emily guffaws]
- You both keep my name out of your mouth.
You both keep my name out of your mouth!
- Riz's nose bleeds.
Everyone's mad at me somehow.
- [Emily] That's my president.
That's my president.
- So let me be clear.
- Uh-huh?
- You are working yourself...
You're working yourself to the bone.
- Mm-hmm.
- You're staying up.
You're not getting sleep.
You're turning in A+ work
while you're trying to
save Elmville from a demon.
- Uh-huh.
- And you're trying to
put Kristen Applebees
on your back-
- No! Kristen's-
- [Brennan] And run over the finish line.
- Kristen does CrossFit now.
If anything, it would just
be like a weighted sprint,
because that's how buff she is now.
- Riz-
- We're all-
- Sweetie-
- I know!
- I just want- look! I like your friends.
I just don't wanna see my son
k*lling himself to get huge accolades
for other people that call him The Ball!
- No, but The Ball is a good-
- I don't like it!
- I know, I know.
- Your name is Riz, and
your friends, whom I love,
I just wanna make sure
that you're not being taken advantage of.
- Yeah, I think...
I know what you're saying,
Ma, and look, if it was...
if you were talking to me in September
or October, apparently, I
would've agreed with you,
but November, if that's what month it is,
has been our month,
and I think everybody's
working really hard.
- It's been our month!
- As long as we're talking about November.
But if we slip back into
October, September stuff,
you'll be the first person to know.
- You let me know.
- I will.
- I think my son would make a
great student body president.
- Okay.
- Whoa-uh!
- Join the race.
[players laughing]
- Is there anything
else you wanted to know
about the Frosty Fair stuff, sweetie?
- Yeah. Okay, so do you think Frosty Fair
had something to do with, besides just-
I know they moved it away from Loam Farm.
Do you think it's from somebody
within Frosty Fair that's doing this,
or do you think it might
be an outside force?
Did you find any evidence of
money coming in from outside
or how it ended up at the Thistlesprings'?
- Well, so that was the thing, right?
It's basically that money went missing.
The way you track down embezzlement
is you look for messed
up bookkeeping, right?
- Right.
- So basically,
all the evidence that was
needed was, these amounts
got deposited to the Loams'
business bank accounts.
- Got it.
- And they matched up to
amounts that went missing
from Frosty Fair's books, right?
So it was like, oh, there's
some sweetheart deal.
There's something going on here.
But essentially- it
was over the normal fee
for what the venue costs
would've been for the farm.
- Got it.
- But because the amounts
matched, it was like,
oh, there's clearly
embezzling going on here.
But the Loams couldn't
produce evidence of a deposit.
They said, we didn't deposit that money.
That didn't get wired,
that never happened.
And essentially, you can't have
negative proof of something.
- Right.
- So it's saying, look,
I don't have the receipt or I
don't have the deposit slip,
and it's like, yeah, that
would be incriminating.
You would throw that out.
But essentially, they were
able to track down and prove
that the deposit got made online.
They were able to track down the ISP
of where the account got
deposited, and it didn't match
where they were logged
in for their own banking.
They actually don't even have online-
They go to the bank to do their banking.
They're an older couple, or
they were an older couple.
- Do you know what that ISP
was or who made that deposit?
- It was masked to a VPN in Bastion City.
I was in the middle of chasing down,
trying to see what the VPN was hiding
or where it actually would've come from.
It's a very common VPN for
people that just wanna do
some illicit stuff, just
to use Bastion City 'cause
it's a very populous area.
- Got it.
- [Brennan] Could've been
from anywhere in Solace.
- Got it, okay.
And Frosty Fair, are
there multiple events?
Or do they just usually do
the one big event per year?
- One big event per year.
I was tracking what happened to the fair
in the immediate aftermath,
right? So right now,
there's no reason for me
to chase down that VPN,
'cause again, my clients
are no longer with us.
- [Murph] Right.
- I know that the police
are investigating.
Sorry, the sheriff's office
is investigating Loam,
the farm, the Loam Farm,
and the m*rder scene,
and I know that it moved over
to Gorgug's parents' house
based on a recommendation from...
You see she opens her phone
and looks at something.
Based on a recommendation
from Lola Embers,
who recommended that as the backup venue.
- Interesting.
- What?
- Well, well, well.
- Lola?
- [Ally] Who is that again?
- [Siobhan & Zac] Fig's former manager.
- My manager.
- Oh!
- [Siobhan & Lou] And
Ruben's current manager.
- Ah, interesting. And how...
- [mouthing] How were they m*rder*d?
- Weird question to ask your mom.
How were they m*rder*d?
What happened?
You said they were investigating
a m*rder scene at the Loam Farm?
- I could try to go shake down
some old colleagues at
the precinct to find out.
- That'd be great.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Great. Go do that.
I think they're still
actively investigating
over at Loam Farm.
- Okay.
- I will say, you did warn me a moment ago
not to tell anybody about this.
- Right.
Okay, cool.
I'm good.
Mom, I'm gonna go to Loam Farm,
but I'm gonna be, like,
invisible and stuff,
so you don't have to worry about-
- Riz!
No! No!
Don't go to Loam Farm!
- Mom.
- All right. Look, look, look!
I will go with you to Loam Farm, okay?
All right, good. We'll do that.
- Mother/son trip?
- [Brennan] Mother/son trip.
- Aw, to the m*rder scene.
- To the m*rder site!
- Great, we're gonna move from there
back to the Aguefort Adventuring Academy.
So as we head into this next period,
sort of continue this period of downtime
that we're in right now.
There is an announcement
shortly after Frosty
Fair by Jace Stardiamond,
who gets up in a big auditorium
and basically says, [sighs]
"Students of the Aguefort
Adventuring Academy,
we're having a rough one.
Hate to break it to ya,
but Interim Emergency Backup
Principal Arcturus Grix
and the head of our cleric department,
Professor Yolanda Badgood,
have very sadly passed away.
Ms. Badgood, we are not
sure of the cause of death.
Principal Grix, we are.
He went berserk at a music festival
and was k*lled by Augefort's own-"
- Got him!
[all laughing]
Got him!
- I try to start a standing ovation.
- Legend!
- O Captain! My Captain!
- Very slowly standing up
and then sitting back
down when it didn't work.
♪ Ba da da da da ♪
- Incredible.
- I also sit back down.
- So you see that Vice
Principal Stardiamond says,
"So, I don't want to lie to anybody here.
We are rapidly kind of
leaving the edge of the map
in terms of if or how this
school is able to function.
You know, there's only
so many contingencies
you can kind of plan in advance,
and we are scraping the
bottom of the barrel.
So, it seems as though
our cleric students
will be moved to a
pass-fail track for the year
unless we can find some
form of replacement
for a cleric teacher before
the Moonar Yulenear arrives."
- I'll do it.
- Sorry?
Fig?
- I'll do it.
- I second that.
- I third it!
- [deadpan] Wow, what a good
teacher she definitely is.
- [Ally] Can I do an Insight check
and see what the Rat Grinders
are reacting to this?
Is Kipperlilly-
- [Brennan] Yeah, give
me an Insight check.
- Okay.
- All right, okay.
- 21.
- It seems, you look over and see Buddy
kind of looking around a little bit like,
"Is this bad? Does this mean something?"
You see that Kipperlilly is
just sort of looking forward,
very unfazed.
Ruben is sort of smirking.
You see that Oisin and Ivy
both look kind of bored
in an auditorium sense.
And then Mary Ann has
some sort of small
electronic crystal Tamagotchi
and is just doing that.
- We need her.
- We need her.
[Brennan beeping]
- I think we can get Mary Ann.
- [Ally] Once again, if
one person in your party-
- She's a lost cause.
- ...goes pass-fail,
then it f*ck up the whole party, right?
- Then we have to enter the trial.
- Yes, so there's this thing that you guys
had talked to Porter
about, which is an exam
which is basically a bypass
to get you off of pass-fail
back onto a grading system,
and it's some huge amount
of extracurricular points.
- But everyone's gonna have to do that,
'cause it seems like most
parties have a cleric.
- Well, you see that this news
is really the most rocky
for freshman and sophomores,
who are not allowed to
take the Last Stand.
So you guys, this is an opportunity for.
There are some adventuring
parties that don't have a cleric,
and you see a lot of adventuring
parties seem to think,
you see some people that
are kinda going, phew!
They were in-
- Who?
- What's that?
- I want names.
Who's going phew?
- Who's going phew?
- Give us specific student names
that we've never heard before.
- [Brennan] Max Durden
and his adventuring party
are looking like, "This is
a huge break for us, g*ng."
- Instead of a D, it'll just be pass.
- Yes, exactly.
- Totally, totally.
Okay, okay.
- Can I do a general
Insight on Stardiamond?
Because ever since, I think it was Lou,
suggested that Stardiamond
could've given Gilear the cruise
to get him out of there, I
don't trust Stardiamond anymore.
- [Brennan] Give me an Insight check.
- The suspicion has gone from Porter.
- This is with disadvantage,
because of my stress token.
Okay, that's a five.
- A five. Hell, yeah.
- He's it, the mastermind.
- Jace is a sorcerer.
He wears incredibly comfortable,
flowy clothes and scarves.
He walks through the school, you know,
teaching a class where
everyone has innate magic,
and I think you see a deeply stressed guy.
I think you see a dude who is like,
"Oh, I'm very chill and laid back,
and it seems like things
continually are getting
worse and worse and worse while I'm here."
- I mean, off of that,
I'll do an Insight check.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- It just seems like a guy
who doesn't have responsibilities,
having responsibilities.
- Yeah, it just seems like
the fourth in line-
- [Siobhan] I think so too.
- ...to be principal became principal.
- All right, so he's
not puppeting Gilear's-
- [Lou] A real "Designated
Survivor" situation.
- He's not puppeting Gilear's
departure as a power grab.
- The puppet master!
- Speaking of Gilear,
after the auditorium,
Fig, you begin to get
a call on your crystal.
- I think about breaking it,
but then I answer it. Hello?
- Figueroth, this is Hallariel.
- Hey. Have you and I ever
had a conversation before?
- Ha ha! Darling girl.
Listen!
Listen, I'm calling because
I'm here with your father.
Not your biological father, but your-
- Okay, okay, okay.
Let's put the brakes on that.
Gilear's my dad.
- Hold on, I'm gonna do FaceTime.
You see that she clicks over.
- Okay, I'm not.
- You click audio only.
- She calls up and she says,
"Your father isn't in the room right now.
He won a raffle and is a king
of some kind of dance festival for a day.
So I wanted to reach out
because we had invited
Fabian over to spend
the Moonar Yulenear with us on Fallinel.
And we thought it might be fun
to just fly everybody out here,
or pay for the teleportation
or what have you.
And your father wanted to know
if you wanted to come
and spend the holiday."
- Hold on, I'm at a school assembly.
Do you guys wanna go to Fallinel?
- Oh god.
- For the Moonar-
- Who's asking?
- Yes.
- Your mom.
- What?
- Your mom.
- My mom called you?
- Your mom!
- Your mom called her.
- Do you have a missed call?
- Have you ever had a conversation?
- No!
- You have 18 missed calls.
- Oh, yes.
I see. I leave it on 'do not disturb'
at all times, you know.
- Oh wow.
- A lot of people texting
me all the time these days.
- Did you get my text, by the way?
- Oh!
There it is. No.
- I don't need a ride to school anymore.
- [Lou] Okay, got it.
- Do you guys wanna go?
I think it sounds like- I mean,
we're all pretty burnt out.
We could use a vacation.
She said she'll pay for the teleportation.
- I think as long as it doesn't affect
literally any of our
studies or any of our stuff-
- Riz, I don't know if you've noticed-
- And my mom can come.
- I have A pluses across the board.
- I put my hand on Riz's
back and I cast Guidance.
Dude, you're doing so much
for us, man. Thank you.
- Did you say your mom can come?
- I just wanna make sure-
- Hey, Hallariel?
- Yes, Figueroth?
- Hey, can Riz's mom come?
- Yes! I assumed she was coming.
- Okay.
- [Siobhan] Can Aelwyn come?
- And can Aelwyn come as well?
- I believe she's wanted here,
but we'll keep it hush hush.
- Okay, and then the last thing is,
Gorgug says it needs to
be business class or more.
- What?
- When did I say that?
- [Brennan] Gorgug said
business class or more?
- [Siobhan] Gorgug, you're so bougie.
- I don't know if I said that.
- Are Gorgug's parents coming?
- Gorgug, do your parents wanna come?
- Do they get business class? I guess.
- Yeah, Gorgug's parents-
- All right, Gorgug, his
parents, business class.
Adaine and Aelwyn would like to come.
- Also business class.
- Business class.
- Let's see if Ragh
and his mom wanna come.
- Oh, Ragh and his mom wanna come too.
- We should probably bring Ragh
because of the thing with Kalina.
- Okay, we'll bring Ragh.
Ragh and Lydia can come. Yes, absolutely.
Well, if they're coming,
we don't wanna leave Sandra Lynn...
Hmm. Hmm, hmm.
- No, that's weird. I
understand, that's weird.
- No, no, no, no, no. No, no.
I don't wanna leave them all alone
in that big, empty, drafty, haunted house.
- They might want the peace and quiet.
- They might like it.
- Clobica might need business class.
- Oh, Clobica needs business.
- I think we can do
business class for Cloaca.
I don't know if we can do business class
for Clobica as well.
- We'll talk later.
- Okay, then we're all a
maybe until you can get-
- All right, fine.
Clobica, Clocica, Clodica, they
can all get business class.
- I've got to make some more Clos.
- [Ally] We're all a maybe?
- I think we just have our
own plane. This is great.
- Yeah, maybe a private one.
- Private one, yes.
- PJ.
- Thank you so much.
What kinda dance is Gilear doing?
- Well, it's something where
you have to bend way backwards
and go under a beam. And he did it,
and something cracked in his
back, and when he stood up,
he was two inches taller
and his back felt better.
- Holy sh*t. Well, tell him I said hey.
And tell him that I'm getting straight As
and I've picked up a couple new majors.
- My goodness! Congratulations, darling.
Well, if you're ever looking
for some sword tutoring,
I don't know if you're multiclassing
into any martial classes, but-
- Yeah, no, I could definitely
get into that, yeah.
- All right, well, lovely.
- Do you have to go so soon?
- Hmm?
- Do you have to go?
- I haven't talk to my mother
for this long in months!
- The bell rang 15 minutes
ago. We have to go.
- We've just been sitting in-
- Can I say hi?
- Do you wanna do video now?
- Give Fabian my love!
- Is it too late?
- And tell him that his grandfather
refuses to talk on phones,
but that his grandfather does say hello,
and that he loves him,
and that he ponders often
on the wistful nature
of their time together.
- Okay, I'll pass that along.
- Can I just say hi
real quick for a second?
- Okay.
- Bye bye! Click.
- Yes, hello?
Mama?
Mama?
Hello, Mama? Oh, no.
Oh, okay.
- Thank you.
- Hmm.
Maybe I'll turn off 'do not disturb'
so I can get a few phone calls next time.
- Fig, I've been thinking
about- so is it weird that...
Okay, I feel like Kristen's stuff
has been really dramatically bad, but-
- Keep my name out of your mouth.
- What is everyone's deal today?
- I don't know, Fig said it,
and it felt aggro in a good way.
- I just spit coffee everywhere.
I just spit coffee everywhere.
It's all over the inside of my DM screen.
- So I tell everyone what my
mom told me. Yeah, so Lola-
- The last name Loam is soil related.
- Yeah!
- Oh, maybe we should talk to
Molman Ratman.
- I was thinking that, too.
- That makes me think that-
'cause we had some bad soil-
- I know. He just got so mad
at me last time I talked to him
'cause I said to be careful
with the poison soil.
- Do you think that there's anything wrong
with the soil at my house now?
[Ally gasps]
- Yeah.
- That's a great question.
- Why did they want it to be
at your house specifically?
- [Zac] I was just wondering that,
'cause Lola Embers and I maybe
talked a couple times.
- [Siobhan] They dropped you, right?
- Yeah, we've never really...
I don't think of us as having
a super strong relationship.
- I mean, well, she might be going,
'cause I kinda went rogue
and maybe...
- What made her think
of my family's house?
- Yeah, what's so special
about your house that makes it-
- I wonder-
- [Emily] It's a tree, right?
- Yeah, it's a big tree.
- Is there a ley line situation?
- Is it secretly a World Tree?
- It's a big tree.
- Roots or something?
Are we thinking roots?
- Soil, loam?
- I'm just trying to keep up.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I think that-
- But anyway, what about my drama?
- Your drama's beautiful and-
- I'm this close to Adaine's face.
- I think it's really gorgeous
and you're doing so well.
- All right.
- And I respect you so much,
and you're so talented.
- Mm-hmm.
- I see Kristen getting aggro,
and as the security detail,
I get aggro on the other side at Adaine.
- I just worry that Fig is fully cursed,
and we have not addressed that at all.
- We have not addressed the fact
that Fig is cursed, for sure.
- Yeah. Fig, yeah.
- So... Just 'cause Fig is
really chill and cool about it-
- [Ally] You're so helpful!
- And maybe you're
less chill and cool about it.
- Does Wretchrot know who
owns the pride armor yet?
Have you checked in?
- I did ask him to look into that,
but I got kinda busy
with Gorgug's MCAT thing.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- Which I appreciate, thank you.
- So anyway, I learned-
- And also becoming a
paladin of Kristen's god.
- Yeah.
- I learned this Remove Curse spell,
which I don't think is gonna work on you,
'cause it feels like
it's a really big curse
and this is just for minor stuff,
but I'm thinking I could
maybe cast it on you,
and then the way that it doesn't work
will be useful for me to figure out,
or for somebody to figure out what we do.
- I would love that.
I take all my clothing off and lay down.
- Whoa! Whoa!
- Fig! Hey, Fig!
I just take my clothes off too.
- Whoa! What is happening?
- [Murph] I put a blanket-
- Okay!
- Friends need to be able to
be naked around each other.
This is so-
- Where's your battle sheet, Fabian?
- When did this become a thing?
- Aren't we in a hallway?
- This is so Sol.
- We're at school.
- Yes, we are at school.
- Fully at school.
- You guys, oh my god,
this is so puritanical corn god.
- Do not. Do not.
- Take off your clothes!
- If we were at a spa-
- We're trying to get-
- I cast Nondetection on both of them
so they don't show up
on the school cameras,
and then I cast Remove Curse on Fig.
- I have all my clothes
off, but a sports bra.
- p*ssy out,
t*ts away.
- I just got worried that
no one else was taking...
Yeah, I know, exactly.
- Fabian, now that your phone
is not on 'do not disturb,'
you get a text from Mazey.
- Cute!
- What's it say?
- It says, "Big news.
Not sure who to talk to.
Let me know if you wanna swing by
the dance hall vending machine
for a few minutes in
between 2nd and 3rd period."
- I'll be there.
I hate to leave this,
but I am requested at a vending machine.
- Could you get me something? Hot chips?
- You want a hot chip?
- Yes, please.
- What they've got in there-
- You want hot chips?
- It's just a body!
- Stop!
- I turn around.
- Stop! Stop!
- It's just an orifice!
- Stop! Stop!
You want chips?
- You have to stop.
- I show you all full butthole.
- I'm will go get everyone
hot chips, all right?
- Full, right to the dome butthole.
- We're in a hallway.
We're just in a hallway.
- I don't understand!
- Riz thinks about what
his mom was saying,
and just stares off into
the middle distance.
- I'm gonna be a president!
[all laughing]
- Oh, Fabian.
- What's up?
- You should try to just sneak
into- when you're chatting,
try to see if any bylaws were
changed in the student law.
- Yeah, I wanted to look into that.
- [Murph] Which is why
Grix kinda went off.
- That is such a good call.
- She's a big fan of puns,
so maybe I'll do something
with that, you know?
- Maybe you'll do something fun, yeah.
- Ooh!
- Try it out on us.
- [Siobhan] You're finding
out about what she likes!
- What?
- Try it out on us.
- So... [stammering]
My friends...
I've got to-
- This is a lot, yeah. Okay.
- ...find a natural moment in
the conversation and do it.
Stop, dude, please!
Please get off your knees, all right?
- All right, Fabe, I'm
sorry. Check you later.
- Okay, yes, all right, well,
yes, I'll ask about the bylaws.
- Great, great.
- I'll sneak that in there.
- I just feel like we should
all be a little bit closer.
That's the last thing I'm gonna say.
Could you even pick my
hands out of a crowd?
- Yes, absolutely. 100%.
- Without a doubt.
- No.
- [Zac] They're so freckled.
- You think we're close.
You don't even know
what my hands look like.
- Your hands are extremely calloused
from all the CrossFit you've been doing.
- That's very true.
- It's the callouses.
- I do like 90 pushups, naked.
- Here's another thing, too,
that maybe we should look
into while we're at school.
It seems like a lot of the stuff
they're doing is very ritualistic.
Is it possible that the Rat
Grinders aren't just grinding?
That they're sacrificing these rats?
And maybe that's even why they
were mad at Lucy Frostblade,
because she's bringing them back.
- Oh, so they're not-
- Undoing this...
- Also, Frostblade, and it
was called Frosty Festival.
Why was it called Frosty
Festival to begin with?
- Oh, yes.
- [Ally] Could look into the history.
- Yeah, the giants.
- That's interesting.
- Does it have a history
that ties back to the giants?
In which case, it has a history
that ties back to this giant-
- Could you ask your parents,
Gorgug? Could you text them?
- Yeah, I can. I'll ask them.
- They seem like lifers.
- Yeah, maybe don't call them that.
- Also, wasn't your-
- I'm sorry.
- Frostheads?
- I have a pants on rule.
- On hugs?
- Your biological dad-
- Kristen puts her G-string
back on and goes in for a hug.
- Did you say G-string?
- Yeah, that's canon.
- You're wearing a G-string underneath a-
- I'm wearing a sports bra and a G-string,
and I want to be closer to all of you.
- So a G-string, for me, is not pants.
- I just hear bottoms. I
don't know. All right, fine.
- Fabian, you take off.
You see Mazey is there.
Immediately, you can see Mazey
seems a little bit stressed.
She goes, "Hey, Fabian."
- Mazey, what's going on?
- First of all, sick as hell
that you k*lled Principal Grix.
That guy attacked lots of students
and no one did anything about it.
- Hey, well, you know,
somebody had to stand up
and be a hero, and why not
a maximum legend, you know?
- Love it.
- So what's going on? Big news, you said?
Just leaning against the vending machine.
- [Brennan] Give me a Persuasion check.
- [Emily] Did you want to leave
with a Bardic? [die rolling]
- No.
That's only a 12.
- You're leaning, and you hear
a crack in the glass display.
- Oh sh*t, sorry.
I do need to get hot chips
for Kristen. Anyway, sorry.
[nervous laugh]
I'm discombobulated.
- I just wanted to-
I really didn't know who else to talk to.
- Oh.
- Because, well, you've solved
a lot of the school's
problems in the past.
I remember when I was a sophomore
that you and the other
Bad Kids k*lled Kalvaxus.
- Yeah.
- I just feel like
I'm kinda suddenly in
over my head a little bit.
Vice Principal Stardiamond
talked to me and just warned me
that they're kind of, as he said,
off the edge of the map.
- Yeah.
- But that they're literally, like,
the school actual charter
doesn't even cover
where we are anymore, so
they're legally consulting
emails and letters between Arthur Aguefort
to get what his intentions
might have been,
'cause we're so far in the
chain of succession or whatever.
- Mm-hmm.
- And he mentioned,
we think as a bit, that in the death
of an Interim Emergency Backup Principal,
that Aguefort would become
a democracy and that
the student body president
would be acting principal.
Which is crazy, 'cause I'm a student.
I am a student here.
But I just wanted to bring it up to you,
because I don't really know...
It seems to me that Jace should
clearly be doing this, but-
- Isn't the whole thing
that the vice is the backup
for when the main one goes away?
- Kind of, but the way
it's set up in the charter
is that it's actually
just two different jobs.
The charter specifically has
rules about the vice principal
not being able to leave a certain distance
from around the school.
Rules that were set up,
I think, because the idea was
Kalvaxus would be doing that job forever.
- Got it, yeah.
- The design is not sustainable.
The design of the bylaws
of the school is like,
the principal will always be
an omnipotent, genius wizard
and his right hand man will always be
a captured evil dragon.
- Got it. So...
So, are you still gonna be a student,
or will you just be a full-time
school president?
- We don't know, it's literally off of a
bit he wrote in an email, and the lawyers
that they're consulting with are like,
in the absence of anything
that would do something,
that's the only written
evidence of his intent
for what should happen here.
- Wow.
Normally, The Ball does all the kinda
putting the pieces together stuff.
But how are you?
Are you excited?
Do you want it? Could you abdicate?
- I guess I could. I
mean, I feel like it's...
Yeah, I guess it's fine.
I just wanted to tell you
'cause I sort of didn't know
if you would know
anything about it or not,
but I just, I don't know, I trust you?
- Well, that...
Your trust is well placed,
and it [stammering] means a lot to me.
But I...
Do you-
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine!
Anyway. sh*t!
Wow, so you're just gonna be...
Are you still gonna be in class at all,
or will you just be full-time-
- I have to be.
You have to be an actively
enrolled and good faith student
to retain your position.
- Is there a vice president?
- No, there's treasurers and
other positions like that
that are part of student government,
but there's only one elected position
for student body president.
- Well, hey, I don't think
you're in over your head.
I think you can handle this easily.
You've got this in the bag,
and I'm gonna ask The Ball
if he's got any ideas
about how we can make sure
that you have got this
even more in the bag.
A bag within a bag.
And if, you know, you need any help,
or you just want to text
somebody, you just let me know.
I'm here, for you.
You know, yeah.
- Did you run here?
- Yeah.
It was a whole thing. Kristen was...
I don't wanna say anything.
Kristen was in a mood.
- [mock yelling] Keep my name!
Out of your mouth!
- Mazey says goodbye, heads back to class.
- I text everyone immediately.
I think Mazey is gonna
be the next principal,
because Aguefort's about
to become a democracy.
- Okay, I immediately text back,
they're going to k*ll Mazey.
- I run back towards Mazey.
Mazey! Mazey!
Do you wanna come over after school?
- Yeah.
- Okay, great.
Just come straight from
school. Don't make any stops.
- You can dispatch me as an escort.
- Cool, yeah.
- Great, cool.
Hey, Fig, I need you to tail Mazey
from the school to my house.
- I was already gonna.
- Riz does the question mark thing.
- Incredible.
- I break my phone.
Okay, so Copperlilly
Kipperpetal is making a play.
Her parents, you learned the
stuff about the real estate guy
and someone working in the government.
That's got to be a conflict
of interest, right?
- Clerk. A clerk at a government building.
- I don't know what a clerk...
But a clerk might have access
to certain things that a real
estate agent could manipulate.
- Yeah, have some kinda permits.
- Right, maybe a permit for a festival.
- Permits, zoning.
- It's just pretty clear
that they've orchestrated
this whole thing to make it specifically
so that they could have
essentially a student principal,
and so that it could be Kipperlilly.
- And so that they can
basically run the school.
- Why do they wanna run the school,
but also summon a demon?
Why are they doing this to us?
- Why are they doing this to us?
- Mazey's definitely in trouble.
- At the end of that
school day, Mazey turns up.
You wanna go ahead and give
me a Stealth check for Fig?
- Yeah, I think Stealth isn't my greatest.
[die rolling]
- You do still have Nondetection on you.
It lasts for eight hours.
- Ooh, I got a 18 Stealth.
- In what form are you as
you shadow Mazey, headed to-
- I am the shadow. I look
like a stagehand in a play.
- You're constantly
running while kneeling.
- Headset on.
- Coiling a rope.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- [Siobhan] Head down.
- Mazey shows up at your place, Fabian.
- Hey, what's going on?
- Hey.
- I'm glad you made it
here safely. I look for...
Nothing. Come on in.
Do you want a water or anything?
- [Brennan] Sure.
What state is Seacaster
Manor in right now?
- Pretty, I think if you opened any door
off of the living room,
you would just see a
wall of boxes and trash.
But the living room looks 90% good,
and the kitchen looks pretty good.
There are certain drawers and things
that shouldn't be opened,
because if you do,
it'll just be-
fried rice will just rain down on you.
- She looks and says, "Yeah."
- Do you want a water or something?
- She goes to make out with you.
- I lean back.
- Oh, sorry. Is that not-
- No, I just-
- Did that-
- No, I invited you...
I thought you were in danger!
- I read it wrong?
- No, that's kind of right.
No, that is right.
- Danger? What do you mean danger?
- You're in danger! They wanna k*ll you!
- What?
- The Ball said they wanna k*ll you!
- Who wants to k*ll me?
- The, one second, one second.
- I am so f*cking embarrassed right now.
- No, no, don't be embarrassed.
- She turns invisible.
- No, stop, wait! Mazey!
I just start swinging my
sheet around the room.
- What the hell?
- Mazey, where are you?
- [mimics glass shattering] Glasses.
- Where are you?
- What the hell?
- Where are you?
- This sucks, this sucks,
this f*cking sucks!
- No, I'm sorry, I just, The Ball...
This is the problem with
operating at this level, right?
It's like I live in a world where people
are constantly telling me
that the people I care about
are under attack or going
to die, and so I didn't...
I just wanted you to come over
so that you would be safe.
- Who said I was gonna die?
- The Ball said you... Here, one second.
- The Ball's gonna try to k*ll me?
- No! FaceTiming The Ball.
The Ball!
- Hey!
- Hey, what's going on? I'm with Mazey.
- I'm invisible!
- [Murph] Hi, Mazey!
I don't see Mazey.
- No!
Who's trying to k*ll Mazey?
- We think Kipperlilly
Copperkettle and the Rat Grinders
seem to have orchestrated a plan
to sort of destabilize the school,
and you would be sort of
next in line for principal,
and if you were to die, that
would mean that the election
would be deciding essentially
the next leader of the school,
and then she could win,
and then Kipperlilly
could become the ruler and summon a demon.
- Okay, k*lling me would not make
the person who k*lled me president.
- No, but if Kipperlilly k*lled you,
then they'd probably have to run
an emergency election, right?
And then they'd move
up the juniors, maybe.
- I don't even know.
There's nothing in the bylaws
about an emergency election.
Maybe, but we're off the
map, so I don't know.
Look, was this 'cause you guys
just hate the Rat Grinders?
- No, no.
- No!
- We have pretty good reasons.
- Yeah.
- [sighs] Yeah.
- I know that they don't
like you, but that's, like-
- Wait, they don't like us?
- No, they've hated you guys forever.
- What the hell?
- I put my clothes back on. What the f*ck?
- Are you there?
- Yeah, what?
- All of you guys are
at Mordred right now.
- What the f*ck?
- Kristen was studying, and keeps
disrobing for some reason.
- What the f*ck?
- She's like, "Yeah, they
famously hate you guys."
- How can they famously do
anything when they're not famous?
- See, that's exactly what it is.
- [Murph] Yeah, okay.
- Jealousy surrounds me.
- I just, okay, so-
- I say it every day.
- Maybe, perhaps my investigation-
- New campaign slogan.
- ...into this is still...
This is more of a hypothesis
than a theory at this point,
but I guess, just kinda every
principal and vice principal
has been taken out, and
it all seems to be leading
to bad stuff for whoever's in charge,
so just kinda be on the lookout.
- Okay, thank you for the
warning. I'll be on the lookout.
Thank you for looking after me.
- Thanks, The Ball.
- All right.
And you see Mazey heads to the door.
[Lou stammering nervously]
- No? Okay, sorry.
I just, I didn't even...
Maybe you should...
We'll...
- Listen, if you just want
to be friends, that's great.
We can just be-
- No!
- I misread it.
- No!
- You just insisted I come
over right after school,
and then I got here and
you looked so stunned
as you offered me water that I was like,
let me make this guy's
life a little bit easier
by just initiating.
- Well-
- And then you pulled
back, and that's fine,
but I just was reading
that there was something-
- No, I just, The Ball...
The Ball had texted...
- When you think about me,
why do you always bring up The Ball?
- It's not about you. It's that I just,
I was in such a, like,
Fig calls it German Shepherd mode.
I was just locked into
this protective space
that I don't think I was
really thinking about that.
And then, so when it happened,
it's not that I didn't want it, I just,
there was no space for
it, 'cause I just wanted
to make sure that you were
okay and were hydrated.
So, I don't know, can I get
a do-over some other time?
- Yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm embarrassed
but, you know, I get it.
You know, other than the fact
that I have a crush on you,
which I do...
[Lou gasps]
I just wanna say that,
like, I hope you're...
I don't know.
Part of the reason I texted
you is 'cause I do trust you,
and I think that you're clearly
a very capable adventurer.
But also, like, I don't
know, we come over,
and your house is always so nice.
There's food out and you have
these study halls but, like...
I don't know. I just wanna
make sure that you're okay,
I guess, 'cause it seems like
you're here all by yourself.
- I mean, yeah. It's...
[melancholy music]
It's weird, you know?
I don't know. I was
gone, like, all summer.
Honestly, you don't have
the context for this,
but I was excited to just, like,
pwn Gilear and hang out with my mom
[Emily cackling]
and just kind of do the weird
family thing that we do.
And...
[melancholy music continues]
It's a big house, and it really feels...
I really feel it these days.
But I don't know, I'm
maximum legend, you know?
So, you know, the legend continues.
I've honestly got some sick
party ideas for the coming weeks
that are gonna be just so dope,
and maybe a couple of
sleepovers and, you know,
stuff that just kind of is longer.
People really don't have
to anywhere, you know?
- [Ally] Like a lock-in.
- Yeah, real kinda, you know...
It's like if you create a
space that people wanna be in,
you know, that's... [stammers] you know?
I'm doing okay.
I just- it's tough, but I'm
doing great. I'm doing...
You know. I was gonna
get a tattoo, actually.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, all right.
Well, I hope you get a
chance to pwn your stepdad.
I don't really know-
I actually haven't heard that term before.
- Pwn?
- Pwn.
- Yeah, it's internet slang.
[Emily laughing]
- From the man who dabbed
at a student assembly.
- I think they were saying
it a couple of years back.
- [Brennan] A couple years back.
- I'm catching up.
- She says, "Yeah, makes sense.
I think that sounds awesome.
And I think that if you-
you know, I think that making a space
where people feel welcome is great.
You're also, like- even if
you weren't maximum legend,
I would still wanna hang out with you."
- You're just saying that.
- Well, maybe one day you'll
find out if it's true or not.
And she says goodbye and heads out.
- Okay, I'll see you later. [sighs]
[music fades]
- Moving from that,
we're gonna pick back up
with downtime as you head into
the back half of the fall,
headed into early winter.
We started with Adaine with
your first academic roll.
If you would like to make
further academic rolls
to gain new spells in your
spellbook, you may also do that,
or if you wanna use other methods,
because you're rolling
academics with disadvantage,
to try to get spells,
you could do that too
if you wanted to use
popularity or extracurriculars
to try to get spells.
- Actually, instead of
me getting more spells,
you know what I'm gonna do
is do a History check
into the giant stuff.
- Hell, yeah.
[gentle string instrumental]
So the DC of normal
clues has now increased
by five, so we'll say
that you wanna clear a-
normally it'd be like 15, 20, 25.
Because this is your 2nd
track, it'll go 20, 25, 30.
- Oh, can I use Boggy?
- On one roll, you can use Boggy.
- Great, I'll use Boggy on this one.
- So your wizard's tower at Mordred,
Boggy's just [ribbits]
hopping from book to book,
helping you.
- [Emily] Cute!
- He's holding the-
the books are so big and crunchy
that he's just essentially a paperweight.
- Incredible, I love it.
[dice rolling]
- Both of those suck, so I'm gonna use
the divination roll, which was an 18.
- An 18! Plus Arcana?
- Plus nine, so 27.
- Incredible.
You find a lot of information
about giants and giantkin,
ogres, et cetera, living
in the Mountains of Chaos.
You find lots of information about Ruvina,
the goddess of winter and sorrow,
and you see that there are
weird connections between
these sort of seasonal, very
nature-oriented giant gods,
and a series of celestial gods
who came to pay a visit to them, right?
So you see Galicaea and Cassandra,
sister deities of the
moon and of the night.
But you also see some references to Sol,
to the god of the sun,
the human god of the sun from Highcourt.
Looking at more of this
stuff about giants...
Are you rolling History or Religion here?
- History.
- So that's interesting.
That's gonna give you different
pieces of information.
You begin to see, on this
very high History roll,
the absence of a divinity.
In other words, you see, oh,
it mentions Cassandra and Ruvina
speaking at Cassandra's wedding
and being given a bride gift.
So, a correlation between Bakur's god.
You're starting to create
this space in history
where a god once existed, right?
- Was this god that seems to be missing
a celestial god or a giant god?
- On a 27, I will honor the
specificity of that question.
You think this god's
domain changed over time.
- Huh, interesting.
- You think that this
god changed over time,
and that it's a possibility
that even Ruvina...
And you begin to see that
whatever this missing god is-
You begin to, looking at historical texts,
you look at bride gifts in giant culture.
You would only give that
if it was your sibling getting married.
So we now know that this missing god
was Ruvina's sibling, right,
and that they were marrying Cassandra.
And that there was this thing
which adds this whole level
to Obliviati Mori and what
it means to basically have
something that was a
sibling or a spouse that,
due to the death or absence or
something of their followers,
suddenly you are never
allowed to mention again.
- Okay, do we know what
Ruvina's other siblings are?
Can we maybe
infer the gap based on-
- Ooh.
- Summer, winter?
- If they're other elements or seasons?
- On that seasonal thing, looking for,
are there three and there's
a fourth one missing-
- Right.
- ...which one is it?
You do see that there are-
you're looking for that symmetry,
you do see that there is a giant god
of the spring and of the fall.
And it seems like this missing one
would have been a summer deity.
- [Siobhan] Interesting, so is it-
- Did you write that down, Emily?
- I already had written that down.
- It says, "Pretend this says whatever."
- It says, "Zac, pretend like I'm smart."
- So can I maybe infer from this
that there is the possibility
that either Sol or Helio or both came in,
stole this god's followers,
and in doing that,
k*lled them in the way that
maybe Galicaea has been doing?
- On a 27, you can rule out
that that happened in a
single violent historical act.
- Okay.
- You do not see a crusade.
- Okay, great.
- You do not see something of, like,
a huge thing over time, but what do-
- So more of a whimper than a bang.
- Yes, but what you do see is
associations with summer as a season.
There's something where Ruvina is saying,
"And as the months pass by,
will the Sun grow higher in the thing,"
and Sun is capitalized as
though it is almost like a name,
you know what I mean?
- Sure.
- So it's like, oh, is
there a solar connection?
Is there some kind of summer
something, da da da da da?
Is there some domain thing
there that's going on?
And all later texts that
come from later periods
in these clerical times-
That gift is only referenced
in very ancient documents.
The most recent documents you can find,
there's still that empty space,
but they make way more references to fire.
All of those seasonal references are gone.
All of those solar references are gone.
And again, all of this is in
the absence of finding a name.
You don't find any texts of
this god's actual followers,
but you begin to see things like,
"Beware the blades of the
red fire," things like that
that crop up in certain
different historical texts.
- So it seems like these red stars
have been around for a while.
- But they're not-
- Is there a crossover?
- Those texts are more recent
than the seasonal stuff.
- Yes, great. So the red
stars, it feels like,
maybe came after the death of the god.
- On a 27 History check,
you don't believe that, necessarily.
- Huh, interesting.
- It's conflicting.
There is some evidence of these red stars
or this sort of shattering, sharp energy.
It's around the same time period.
You wouldn't be able to
definitively say, oh,
it was the god's death that
led to the creation of these.
It's sort of like, no,
these are from a really
similar time period.
- Got it.
- Yeah.
- Interesting. Well, I
guess I'll go to work.
- Yeah, and then you've got to go to work.
Go ahead and give me your job check.
- Do you want a Bardic?
- Sure, I'll take a Bardic.
- I can give you a Bardic.
Or you could take one-
- You're gonna k*ll Adaine!
You're f*cking nasty, Emily!
- [Siobhan] Covered in ice cream.
- Basrar is dead.
He choked on his own
ice cream that he made.
- I'm just trying to live my best life.
- I got a seven.
- Live my best life?
- I guess if I roll an eight on a Bardic,
I could get to-
- 15?
- [Siobhan] I'm dropping a lot of plates.
I'm literally dropping
a lot of plates at work.
- At work.
- There's so many elves here,
and none of them are buying ice cream.
- Excuse me! I care not for ice cream.
What I care for is visions of the future!
- Visions of the future?
This is not a visions of the future shop.
This is an ice cream
shop. No visions allowed.
- I would love a chocolate
sundae, with fudge,
in the shape of a rune that
I might put on my shield-
- I can't do that. I can
literally do circles.
- Could you prophesy a huge tip?
- I prophesy a huge tip.
- Give me a Deception roll.
[die rolling]
- Five.
- Five. You see he goes,
"You know, you occupy a
very important position
in our culture, and I
think you're being rude."
- Yes, a very important, unpaid
position, and I'm a child.
- Not my circus, not my monkeys!
- Literally your circus!
Literally your monkey!
- He heads off.
I will also say, the job
track can be rolled on
multiple times, if you would like.
But you have to take more,
find another part time job.
- Actually, you know what,
I'll take a stress token.
- All right, here we go.
- Wow, what are you up to?
- Eat from the little basket.
- Eat from the little basket.
How much are you up to now? Is that four?
- This is three.
Okay, that is a 17,
which really just means I don't get fired.
- But you can add 2d10 silver
to your money. - Great.
- There it is.
- Five, for those still counting.
- Wow, tips are bad.
- [Siobhan] Tips are bad.
- Everyone's saving up for
the holidays, you know?
- These f*cking elves!
- Yeah.
- In Fallinel, you only tip 10%,
and they just think that
that's right everywhere.
- [Brennan] Exactly. Any
other tracks for Adaine?
- Can I do a relaxation track?
- Yeah.
- As my 4th track?
- As your 4th track, so it's
a DC 20, and you're adding-
- Great. What am I adding?
- So you're gonna make
a Wisdom saving throw.
- Okay.
- It's DC 20 is a success,
and then every three points above the DC
is another stress token removed.
I will say this.
For obvious reasons,
you cannot take stress
tokens on relaxation rolls.
- Sure. I do get a plus seven
to Wisdom saving throws.
- Okay, let's see what
happens. Here we go.
[die rolling]
- Mm, no.
- What does Adaine's
attempt to relax look like?
- I get a massage, but
just, somebody touching me-
- Oh my god.
- My shoulders,
every time they're like, "Just
relax, relax. Just relax."
And I'm like, "Yeah, I'm relaxed."
And every time somebody tells me to relax,
I become more stressed out.
- I think it's probably at
Mordred, and Lydia is like,
"You've just got to breathe. Just breathe.
You've just got to breathe.
[Siobhan hyperventilating]
No, god, stop breathing!"
- I'm laughing at you through
the little hole in the thing,
taking pictures of you.
- How did you get in here?
- [Lou] Holy sh*t,
Adaine's getting a massage?
- Why are you naked again?
Why is this your thing?
- [Brennan] Great, let's go to-
- I'm just trying to be closer.
- We've got Fabian, Fig, and Kristen,
all need to do downtime.
- I can start.
- Let's do it.
- I got it locked and loaded.
Kristen kinda has her note
cards that she's going over
in her room, and she's
back in full rodeo mode.
Untucked shirt- untucked
dress shirt with the tie.
We've got the Wranglers on,
cowboy hat. Walks out the door.
I'm going straight to
Oakshield Middle School
to give a speech.
Just, like, a quick campaign stop.
[presidential music]
- Not our school!
- It's extremely important.
- I will be there as a security detail.
- I'm not going.
- You don't just start with the plant.
You go all around the roots, the soil.
- I guess some of them have
older siblings that they can-
- Exactly. So I'm at Oakshield,
kinda talking about Fetty Wap.
- Gotcha.
- And my big plans
for the school, and I'd
love to roll popularity.
- Go ahead and give me popularity.
- At the middle school?
- Yeah, at the middle school.
You got me this gig!
- I definitely didn't!
- I think I actually got
Murph with Sklonda's speech
a little bit. A little bit.
What the f*ck is everyone doing?
- I've only invested because I
knew it was important to you.
I only invested in academics
because I knew that Riz needed it.
- Exactly.
- [Brennan] Here we go. Popularity.
[Ally and Lou screaming]
- What was that? What was that?
- 19; last second, nat one.
- Oh no!
- So brutal.
I'm gonna have to reroll,
so I will take a stress token.
- [Siobhan] Get stressed, baby.
- [Lou] Fully removed from the property.
- [Murph] You're taking
a stress to give a speech
at not our school?
- You're an adult. You cannot be here.
- These middle schoolers are vicious!
The second I went up there,
someone went, "She farted!"
and everyone laughed.
- I think Riz-
- Come on!
- ...has gotten wind of this,
and is running from his house.
- Goddammit, that's a f*cking 11.
But the DC is five? What's the actual DC?
- The DC is five.
Let me go get popularity here real quick.
So, yeah, DC five. What'd
you actually end up rolling?
- Oh, I got an 11.
- 11, so you will have advantage
on the first Charisma check
when meeting any new middle schooler.
- Amazing.
- Middle schooler!
- Amazing. I'm hobnobbing,
I'm hanging out afterwards.
- Why? Why?
- I do a backflip.
- There's a ton of-
- They're not gonna vote at all!
- ...11 year old dwarven skaters.
They all are so small, with huge beards
and little skateboards, and they just go,
"Hey, where should I tell me
older brother to vote for ye?"
- Yeah. Did you say when?
- What?
- Sorry, what'd you say?
- I cannae understand ye.
- A candy?
Yeah!
I do a high five and then I try to make
a really complicated handshake with them.
Next time we see each other,
we're gonna do this, okay?
- Aye, for my father's-
- I'll catch you later.
- You head out.
- Does Kipperlilly have
a younger sibling at that middle school?
- Oh yeah, can I do some rooting around?
Are people dying at their
school, too? Or is it like-
- Hardly anyone's dying
at Oakshield, yeah.
- [Lou] Thank god.
- Hardly?
- Make sure you check
the soil! And I leave.
- Check the soil! You 10
year olds check the soil.
- That's your first track.
- Yeah. Big success?
Is that what you were about
to say? Did I interrupt you?
- Moderate success, moderate success.
- Moderate success at the middle school.
- Great. Yeah, great.
It'll count for something, I'm positive.
I tip my hat to security,
who somehow let me in.
I go, thanks guys!
- Give me a Perception check.
- Salsa spilling everywhere.
- 14.
- [Brennan] 14? Cool, all good.
- Some maniac in Wranglers.
- Goddammit. I'm gonna
Human Determination.
- [Brennan] Human Determination.
Gimme another roll.
- And a cowboy hat!
- Goddammit, that's worse.
- [Siobhan] Oh my god.
- Kristen, that's your first
track. What's your second?
- I'm gonna do relationships, actually,
for the second one.
- Hell, yeah.
- For this one, I would love to talk to
Lydia at the house.
- Sure.
- And then also, if I can add
another one, Buddy in class.
- So go ahead and give
me an Insight check.
- Okay, okay. 19.
- And the DC for this was 15.
- Cool.
- Go ahead and roll 1d4 for me.
- [Ally] All right, all right.
Two.
- Okay, cool.
So you're hanging out at Mordred.
Sandra Lynn is getting
ready to head off to work.
It's another morning as
you're sort of getting ready.
You see Sandra Lynn and
Jawbone are talking,
and Sandra Lynn's like,
"We don't have to go."
And Jawbone's like, "I've never been to-
Well, no, I've been to
Fallinel a couple times.
But not, you know, sober!
So that'd be great."
- You're gonna love it.
- It'd be fun!
You see that Lydia comes in and says,
"Morning, g*ng. How's it going?
Hey, I saw that you guys were done
sort of poring through all the
books from Rana and Cormyr.
Just wanna make sure that you guys
got everything you needed."
- We did, yeah. Thank you so
much. That was so helpful.
- Of course, happy to help.
- There was one last
thing I was wondering,
but I really wanted to have an
honest conversation with you
about if it would be awkward,
but is there a way to talk to Bakur?
Or is that just kind of like
an annoying part of your life,
and you don't wanna talk to him?
- He's aware,
and you could talk to him.
I cannot.
And by cannot, I mean
I must not talk to him.
Does that make sense?
- Ooh, kinda like,
he's so annoying, or
it's like you actually
can't interact with him
for your own safety?
- The latter.
- Oh, okay.
- That doesn't mean that if
there weren't a great reason to,
that you couldn't.
- Totally, totally.
- This is outside of my wheelhouse, right?
I don't know exactly the
magic you would need to do.
He's imprisoned, but I
know there's lots of ways
to communicate telepathically
through other means.
If you could assure me that it was safe,
I would be okay with someone
doing that very carefully.
- Cool. I feel like I haven't done
enough research to make sure
that it's super safe for you,
so I just wanted to kinda...
I kinda bring Lydia up to speed
on the stuff that we've found so far.
- Cool. Like what, exactly?
Is it sort of just-
- I think I'm just like,
I think Bakur was trying
to bring back the partner
of my deity that went away.
And if we've all kind of compared notes
or you guys have told me
what you've heard and
stuff, I might be like,
and it kinda sounds like
that got changed over time
and became more fiendish or something,
and that was the version of them
that Bakur was trying to bring back.
So it sounds like stuff
had gotten out of hand.
Especially if you were
there trying to stop it,
it must've been a bad thing.
- Yeah. I mean, the deity was, you know...
Bakur was a fiend of the Nine Hells.
- [Ally] Yeah.
- This god was a god of the Nine Hells,
a god of, you know,
fire and rage and torment,
yadda yadda, all that stuff.
- I mean, we on our trip had
to defeat the Nightmare King,
and it was really, really
awful and really tormenting,
but it ended up being
my much more peaceful
god, who's into mysteries.
It seems like maybe they can be corrupted
or take on different-
- Yeah, it seems like they
can also be redeemed, right?
That's your experience with
Cassandra, and maybe...
'Cause when Cassandra vanished
when you were fighting
at Adaine's former job,
it was like something
appeared in her chest
and started to come out.
I wonder what prompted that,
or why that started at that
point and didn't happen before.
- Yeah, it feels like a
corruption or something.
- That food court was not in
the Material Realm, right?
- Mm-mmm.
- There was something about
that in the first adventure
to stop Bakur, that there's ways...
It's easier to get a god's
influence into these realms
that sort of orbit Spyre rather than...
Getting the gods into Spyre
itself is really hard.
So maybe there's something-
- You mean-
- Cassandra might've been more
vulnerable in that food court
than she would've been somewhere else.
- That's interesting,
because the person I never f*cking trusted
convinced her to go there
and pass out leaflets.
This little b*tch-a*s cat.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
[Emily laughing]
- Interesting. Well, I just
wanted to let you know.
We're really looking for this god,
but I don't think that this affects Bakur.
I think he was trying to bring back
a worse version of this god,
but I would love to ask him
if he knows if anyone on
Earth knows this god's name,
if there's anyone I could talk to.
- Look.
If things in Elmville are
f*cking around with this god,
which it sounds like they are,
then that god coming back some other way,
the god will come for Bakur and k*ll me.
So it's in my interest
to even take some calculated
risks here, right?
I'm not interested in playing it safe
up until the moment that whatever-
- You get iced out of nowhere.
Yeah, totally, totally.
- So yeah, let's do it.
If you can talk to Fig and
Adaine and the rest of your g*ng
and make sure there's a safe way to do it,
I'd be happy to make myself available
for however that ritual
would need to work.
- I have the Sending
spell. Would I be able to-
- Oh yeah, you could do that.
I was thinking if Adaine
has Detect Thoughts.
- That too, yeah.
- But you could Send, try that, and then-
- 'Cause you get one response back.
- Yeah.
- Is this something we
would wanna do right now,
or does this feel like way too big
to do on a relationships roll?
- I think that you guys
would know that you can
definitely throw some off the
cuff spellcasting in there,
but it's very possible
that inside that gem
is considered extraplanar-
- Mm.
- Sure.
- ...in terms of Sending spells
and things like that, right?
So there may be some limitations there.
But there also just could be risks, right?
Lydia seems to be like, "I can't talk-"
the attitude you get
from her when she's like,
"I can't talk to him,"
is that talking to him will enable him
to use some devil-like abilities
to either dominate or
charm or do other stuff.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay. Maybe we can get the AV Club
on doing some research
into how to safely do that.
- Yeah, also, if you guys
wanted to work together
to do a research track to-
outside of the rules of normal D&D
just to create a ritual
that could do that,
more than happy to have that work as well,
especially if you're all
collaborating on it together.
- Yeah, I mean, I feel like
we all have a little bit of,
like, if we cast five spells together-
- I was gonna say, if you both are ready
with a Counterspell on either side,
and then I could maybe try Sending.
- Right.
- Which would have a
I think it's only-
- Gotcha.
- It knocks 10% off or
something like that for me.
- Yeah, and then I think the question is,
well, we wouldn't be able to see Bakur,
so we couldn't Counterspell.
- Oh, got it.
- I think you have to
be able to see someone
to Counterspell them.
- Can you Dispel Magic?
- You can Dispel Magic. You can also-
- But that might dispel
what's keeping him in there.
- I have advantage on charm.
- Okay, cool.
- So if it's a charm or
Dominate Person thing,
I would maybe be the person to do it.
- I think the concern
is doing it on Lydia.
- Right.
- Yeah, okay.
Well, I'm glad I talked about this,
and then I talk with you
guys to make a potential-
- We'll look into it and find
a healthy, safe way of
doing it, if we can.
- I think to have it, can
I, with Lydia's permission,
use the Gregorian Necktie
to do a Detect Evil
to kinda see what that aura is
that maybe she radiates from Bakur,
just so I can recognize it
in things in the future?
- Ooh, smart.
- Oh, so smart.
- You look at that, and
go ahead and give me
an Investigation check, actually.
- Roll it.
- Can I give him the Help action
by looking at it using my
looking at Ethereal Plane-
- Hell, yes.
- Oh sh*t.
- Absolutely-
- 30.
- 30, Jesus!
- Devastating roll form.
- I think there's an evening-
as it's getting into the end of December,
there is an evening where all
of you are at Mordred Manor,
up in the wizard's tower, and Riz,
you've got the Gregorian Necktie
and are able to download.
And you project this full
arcano-tech crystal hologram
of the extradimensional
space created inside the gem.
And you can see that the gem
is literally being powered
by a mix of blood pressure, cortisol,
intense endorphins and
emotional things from Lydia.
Lydia's constant state of agitation,
which you don't even see
expressed in her personality,
it's just a purely physical rage.
- Wow, how do you do it? Lean in.
- Yeah, lean in.
[techno music]
And basically what you
can see is that devils
always find cracks in their jails,
but there's almost a
wabi-sabi principle of,
a flaw creates perfection,
where because the gem
is just open on one end,
that's the only way that
the devil can escape from,
and it's just Lydia's wall of rage
that makes it impassible.
- Right.
- So that's what sort of makes
it a perfect prison, right?
- Cool. So I guess I would be
curious if any kind of energy
that Bakur is giving off,
if I can see that in...
I guess during downtime,
I'd like to check in
on somebody like Buddy,
who is worshiping Helio.
- I've got Divine Sense.
- And then as well as, I'd
like to just record the moon.
- You start recording
the moon, recording that.
I think you find effectively
what we would call MNA,
magical nucleic acid.
You're finding a string
of magical sequencing.
I'm gonna say from this point on,
anytime you do any kind of Detect Magic
or Detect Evil and Good,
you will be able to see
whether something is directly of Bakur.
But you also find a deific,
almost mitochondrial DNA
of, oh, here's Bakur,
but here's actually where
he gets his power from.
- Right.
- The deity that created him.
- Cool.
- So you're also able
to be like, if you were to
investigate anything else,
you now have this magical
sequence being like,
is this of the deity that produced Bakur?
- So Cassandra was married
to a female or nonbinary
or transmasc deity.
Mitochondrial.
- Fun mitochondria facts.
- Excuse me?
- Mitochondrial.
- Mitochondria?
- [Brennan] You were able
to find that on that 30.
- Mitochondrial DNA is only female.
- Oh, gotcha. The powerhouse of the cell.
- [Both] The powerhouse of the cell.
- You're also able to
isolate that kind of power
there, on that 30, so
anything else you investigate,
you can just ask me
straight-up, is that of Bakur?
- Great.
- So sick.
- [Brennan] Is that of the
deity that produced Bakur?
- Excellent.
- You cast Divine Sense
for the first time as a paladin power.
- Wow.
- Whoa!
- I mean, it's flavored
like the German Shepherd
security detail.
- I was gonna ask!
- I think I sniff the air.
- Paw prints.
- Are you barking at the moon?
[Emily sniffing]
[Ally laughing]
- I want you to give me a roll
based on either if you
are treating this moment
with hostility and protectiveness,
or whether you are being
very open and receptive.
What's the energy you're
coming into this with?
- Definitely not hostility.
Just protectiveness.
- Protectiveness.
- Yeah.
- So let's say not hostility, aggression.
There's some degree of getting
in front of something dangerous.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, cool.
Go ahead and give me either
Persuasion or Performance.
[die rolling]
- Seven becomes a
- [Brennan] Hoo-hoi!
- Wow.
I give you a liver treat.
- I eat it.
- You cast Divine Sense.
You think of a German Shepherd,
and as you're looking at
this display of the crystal,
it's just a display, but you notice-
[punk music]
how big is your paladin aura?
You don't have an aura yet.
- I don't have an aura.
- However big, I think it
starts at 10 feet, right?
- I know anything within 60 feet.
- Wow, great.
- That's Divine Sense. Cool.
As you cast that, you see
that in the projection,
there's this really
warm, powerful, red glow
that represents Lydia's magical rage
entering and blocking off the gem.
Your Gregorian Necktie
projects a almost identical
but slightly different aura
coming out of Fig's chest,
this powerful, raging heartbeat.
You see that whereas
Lydia's is very blood red,
this is a very fiery red projection.
- Oh, 'cause I'm fiendish.
- Yeah, and you're good at raging.
- And you're cursed.
- And you're cursed!
- Fire? Fiend, probably?
- Anyone who wants to,
give me a Religion or
Arcana in this moment.
- Yeah.
- I'll make an Arcana check.
- Hell, yeah.
- Oh, that's right, baby. That's right.
- 22 Arcana.
- 22 Arcana.
- 25.
- 25 Religion.
- [Siobhan] Nice.
- Both of you are looking
at this projection over Fig.
As you attempt to go into
German Shepherd mode,
and you're snacking-
- You should bite it, I think.
- Yeah.
- Is this not like a lollipop?
- Very crumbly. Really
high in iron, though.
- [Ally] I think you're doing it right.
- I guess you could.
- [Ally] I think you're doing it right.
- A lot of B12 vitamins in there.
- On that 22 Arcana and 25 Religion,
both of you see an
attraction in the space.
You're not reading that as Bakur energy.
You're not reading it
as the deity's energy.
But you see there is a
profound elemental alignment.
- Oh, it's because this Bakur
was created by the entity,
and I've pledged myself to the entity
that then it mingled with and married.
- Can I cast Remove Curse on Fig right now
and see if that changes what Riz sees?
- You cast Remove Curse and
direct your attention to Fig.
Fig has multiple fiendish things going on.
The first and most powerful
aura that Fig has...
The fact that Fig is a tiefling,
not even in the top five.
- Right.
- [Brennan] There's so
much hellish sh*t going on.
- Damn, you're cool. Have you
been cool this whole time?
- The first and most powerful
aura is the anarchy symbol
that momentarily comes into
flame in the projection.
- Metal as f*ck.
- Which is that Fig is
the Archdevil of Rebellion, right?
That's the number one most important
fiendish thing going on.
- That's my president.
- The second thing that you see going on
is this force of rage
or aggression or power
that matches Lydia's
that is coming out of Fig
that you see for the moment
is somewhat unaligned or
unaffiliated, it seems like.
- Got it.
- Fig has just started
to take on these paladin class levels.
There's another piece of
fiendish energy, which has to do
with Fig's warlock
things, which you also see
is a little bit unaffiliated
or unaligned right now.
And then the fourth
fiendish aura is this curse
that is gleaming yellow-gold,
kind of like the Armor of Pride
and a little bit like lemon yogurt.
- You got piss cursed.
- And those are all of the
fiendish things going on.
- Wow.
- What were you saying?
What was Wanda Childa listening to?
The Complicated Women Podcast?
- Oh, that's gonna come into play.
- You could be on the
Complicated Women Podcast.
- Whenever I have downtime,
that's gonna come into play.
- Oh my god, yes.
- Oh, I have a spell
for Wanda Childa, also.
- Really?
- Yeah, for the next time.
If we want to send Wanda
Childa undercover, I have-
- Wanda Childa, I've been waiting
patiently for my downtime.
- For Wanda Childa.
- If Wanda Childa gives us a
Bardic, is it still cursed?
- Great question.
- Is that a workaround?
- We could try.
I turn into Wanda Childa.
- You could try. Little workaround.
- Don't do it.
- Sorry, so finishing
up your relationships-
- I get another one?
- You get one more.
- [Ally] Okay, cool.
I'm not literally dying
to talk to my parents,
so I might prioritize Buddy.
- Cool.
- And this could just be
a quick little, say hi.
- Yeah, you talk to Buddy in the hall.
You see Buddy looks at you.
You see that he's gone ahead and put
a Rat Grinders sticker on your locker.
- Hey, uh...?
- Hey there, Kristen. How's it going?
As you guys can see, you all
have your Rat Grinders on your-
your little Rat Grinders
stickers on the books.
- We've all been tagged.
- Yeah, we did not do this.
This was a fly by night operation.
- A little fly by night operation.
- Get this sh*t off.
- I peel it off my locker.
- Hey there.
- Hey. Okay.
I'm not a Rat Grinder.
- Well, we're just trying
to raise the profile,
raise the roof.
- Okay, okay.
Okay.
Buddy, it's crazy that
we're going to pass-fail.
- I know! I kinda don't understand that.
I mean, it's sort of, you
know, grades are sort of...
To be honest with you, I'm
not too worried about it,
'cause grades are of the material world.
The only grade I care about
is the grade that's gonna
be passed on me by the Lord.
- Wait, you know what? Buddy,
I was thinking about you.
You're so, like, happy,
or, like, chill or something.
Do you ever get angry?
- I think I don't get angry.
I think I get sad sometimes,
when people choose to walk
outside of the light of Helio.
- Totally. You've never
gotten angry, though?
I mean, anger is kinda like a Sol thing.
At least Old Testament
Sol. He's super angry.
- Oh, yes.
- Lots of rage.
- That is exactly how I feel.
Leave wrath unto Sol.
Leave wrath unto the sun,
that he may distribute
it in his beneficence.
To feel wrathful, as a mortal
being, it's not my place.
You know, it's why I never hit anybody.
I raise my hand, and
sometimes a spell comes out
and obliterates people.
- Oh my goodness.
- But that's Helio working
through me. That's not me.
- Wow. Wow.
- I always say to people,
we're not wizards.
Clerics can't cast spells.
I just stand here and I
let Helio do his work.
- A conduit. That's cool.
Do you pray before football
games that you win?
- Before, during, after.
- Yeah, cool. That's great.
How do you explain if
both teams are praying?
Anyway, sorry. Okay.
- I wanted to talk to you.
Can I take you into counsel?
Can I be in counsel with you?
- I would love to be in
counsel with you, Buddy.
- I think your younger brother is lost.
I think he's feeling a little
lost, and I would love-
- Bucky?
- Well, I just think that, you know,
there are parts of Aguefort that I think
he's being exposed to some
things and, you know...
I just know that he's of the flock,
and I know that you are on sabbatical.
You know, you're exploring other things.
I personally have full faith-
- I'm on a walkabout.
- Helio doesn't make mistakes, Kristen.
So he chose you for a
reason, and I think one day,
you're gonna open your arms wide,
he's gonna open his arms wide-
- Helio fell a*s backwards
into being a god.
- Huh?
- If you meet that man,
you will know that it's
a comedy of errors,
how he became a god.
I appreciate that, though, Buddy.
I was wondering. You said, leave
the wrath and stuff to Sol.
Have you felt any of that recently?
Wrath or rage or anger coming from Sol?
Are people talking about
that back at church?
- Oh, of course. Sol is very mad.
I mean, this entire long night, you know,
the Night Yorb and everything
coming out to attack people.
You know, a lot of people
left the church in that time,
and they're all gonna go straight to Hell.
- Okay, okay.
You got a lot of...
You must feel a lot of control over life.
I bet that's pretty nice.
- I don't feel any control over life.
I don't hold tight, 'cause
I'm in someone's hand.
- Who's holding tight.
- You know Helio's holding onto us tight.
- Helio does everything for you, huh?
- Does everything for me.
- Autopilot!
- You know, I wanna talk
to you about something.
I came here from Highcourt
with my grandfather.
- Oh yeah, right.
- Bobby Dawn, who's a-
[Zac laughs]
And my grandma, Pamela Dawn.
Pam Dawn and Bobby Dawn, you know,
they have a ministry that has been going,
I think, very well for a long, long time.
You actually know Bobby Dawn is a sort of-
- I went to some of his teach-ins-
- Evangelist?
- Evangelist, yeah.
- ...when I was growing up.
- He's a priest of Sol,
but is connected to the
church of Helio, et cetera.
- Televangelist, in that they teleport.
- Yes, a teleporting Evangelist.
He says, "You know what's
sorta interesting to me is,
so, our cleric teacher has passed away.
I don't really care about
the pass-fail thing,
but I understand it might put some people
in some academic jeopardy.
My grandfather is in town teaching,
and if he were to come
[Lou hums disapprovingly]
and, you know, take over the cleric track,
I think that maybe-
- Mm-mmm.
- ...that would be a way..."
- A traveling televangelist
specifically for Sol
is gonna become the cleric
teacher for all of us?
- Well, I think he's, you know- I mean,
every cleric has to have
some kinda deity, right?
So it's never gonna be perfectly neutral.
- I guess that's true.
- And he's a very advanced
and very wise cleric.
- Well, okay. That's good to know.
- He did go to Aguefort, once upon a time.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Oh, wow.
I think that's just gonna be
absolutely f*cking hell for me.
Okay.
Wow. Wow, that's really crazy.
Well, you're kinda making me think
I need to go check in on my brother,
so it was great talking to you, Buddy.
- All right. Hey, don't worry about it.
If you can't look after him,
I'm happy to look after him.
- I'll never let you do that.
- Careful. Wrath is not given
unto us, Kristen Applebees.
[Ally mumbling threateningly]
- I'll f*cking show you, Buddy.
I start stancing.
- As you mutter, "I'll show you,"
he says, "You and what god?"
- Oh, she's coming back.
- Oh, for the second time?
- Yes.
- Okay.
- Yours only came back once.
[all laughing]
- You go back.
You head back out. Incredible.
Let's move over to Fig.
Let's get these downtimes.
- Okay. The only things I wanna do
is learn how to Smite from Porter,
and then the more
important thing, though...
Okay, I wanna pitch you on this,
because I'm trying to do a mystery thing,
but I'm doing social engineering.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- So can the skill be
Persuasion or Performance,
if I'm social engineering
rather than investigating?
- Oh, I see what you
mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you wanna use the popularity track
to try to gain insight or knowledge into-
- Yeah.
- Okay, cool.
Yeah, I think so, for sure.
- Okay.
- Let's go ahead-
so let me know what track
you're rolling on first.
You're doing academics first?
- I am prioritizing academics,
so I will do that first.
- Hell, yeah. Go ahead and
give me barbarian first,
or sorry, paladin first.
So that can be either,
I would say that's either
Religion or Athletics, probably.
- Okay, then I'm gonna do
Athletics, and it becomes a 19.
- A+ in paladin class.
- Woo! Nice.
- You have an interaction.
So as you're learning smiting
and stuff like that, you see-
you and Porter are working together.
Porter is happy as a f*cking clam.
Gorgug's k*lling it in barbarian classes.
He feels like he made a difference.
- Gorgug's almost getting too mean.
- [growls] Pacing around in
the back of the classroom.
Sorry. Get away from me!
- Let him be! He's too powerful!
[Zac growling]
So after class,
you see Porter sorta taking a tutoring,
'cause he's not teaching
a full paladin class.
- Yeah, yeah.
- You're rolling,
basically, you're learning how to Smite.
You're learning Divine Sense.
You're learning how to Smite.
- Yeah.
- And I think actually,
let's go ahead, are you
gonna roll warlock next?
Now that you have your MCAT,
you roll with advantage.
- Oh, I roll with advantage?
- Yeah.
- Cool! Yeah, I'll do, hmm-
- Or would you do another track next?
- So I've got bard, warlock, paladin.
I think I'll do bard next, actually.
- Okay, go ahead, roll this with,
I'm actually gonna say two,
for reasons that I will
not divulge right now.
Actually, you will roll bard,
and that will stay at a five,
so you're actually gonna roll
with a DC five two times.
So go ahead and roll on your bard.
- Cool!
- You roll with advantage.
- I got- what do I add
to that? Performance?
- Performance.
- 29.
- Jesus Christ.
- Cha-cha-cha!
- A+ paladin, A+ bard.
- This is all for you, Riz.
- And now go ahead and roll warlock.
This will now bump up to a DC 10.
- [Emily] Okay.
- And this can be Deception,
Performance, or Persuasion.
- Okay, and then is this with
advantage 'cause of the MCAT?
- Yep, MCAT gives you advantage.
[dice rolling]
- That is a 25.
[Lou trilling joyfully]
- 22 is the DC for an A+.
Boom, A+ across the board!
- Nice!
- So actually,
you come into that room one day
and see Porter and Zara both hanging out,
and you see she says,
"Ah, Ms. Faeth. Welcome
to independent study."
- Thank you. That does feel right.
- You see that both of
them are talking about it,
and basically, Porter just
chats with you and says,
"Look, ultimately, you know,
we spoke with Lucilla, who is-"
- I made her cry.
- This is not your fault.
- I've been thinking about it nonstop.
- She is taking a sabbatical
for the rest of the semester.
So she's just asking everyone
for a three paragraph essay
talking about what has
made them sad in the past.
- Wow.
- Oh my god!
- And if they've ever
disappointed anybody.
- [Zac] Holy sh*t.
- I can write that real quick.
- Okay.
You see Zara says, "Hey,
we want you to know,
it's not okay that she's
taking it this hard."
- No, no, it is. I understand.
Porter, can I ask you, though,
what is the cause that
you've committed yourself to?
I mean, I'm kinda trying to channel doubt
into shattering things,
but what is the cause or god that you...
Why would you Smite?
- I am an Oath of Ancestors paladin,
so I am committed to the memory of
all the proud Cliffbreakers
who came before me, and
the battles that they won,
and I like to think of myself
as being someone who
fights on their behalf.
You see Zara smiles here.
- Porter's a giant right?
- And you see that Zara
turns to you and says,
"And we see that there is
some synergy here, in effect.
For your warlock classes,
there is an agreement you must come to.
You have said in the
past that is an agreement
with yourself you are seeking."
And you see Porter says,
"And obviously, you know,
you don't need to
formally make an oath yet,
but you should think about
where you're drawing that power from.
Let's do some practice."
You start sort of
practicing with the bass,
getting some smiting in.
There's a lot of synergy.
It's your Hex weapon,
and Zara's helping you
with Hexblade's Curse.
You see that she and Porter seem...
You can roll an Insight check if you want.
- Ha!
- Oh wait, I roll with disadvantage.
Okay, well, I got a 10.
- 10.
Yeah, you know, they seem to have
a collegial relationship, Zara and Porter.
- God, I wish I rolled
well on that. Luck point.
Nat 20. No, goddammit!
- No!
- Still, though, 17.
- 17. There's a vibe.
They're both getting into
it. There's practice.
You see they're having fun with-
- This is f*cking awesome.
- Mutually, there's a vibe here.
Porter begins to break down for you,
'cause as those classes roll along,
there is a lot of synergy.
Your Divine Smites are very powerful.
You have a lot of fiendish energy
from your own bard levels
to power your Smites,
but you see that at the end of the day,
they're gonna want you,
before the midwinter break,
to kind of assign your warlock agreement,
what your actual agreement is,
and the paperwork for this
independent study specifically.
So what Porter ends up saying is,
"I wanna provide some honest feedback,
because you're crushing
it in these classes."
- Yeah, I can take honesty.
- Myself and Zara have been speaking.
- It looks like a little more than that.
- Ms. Faeth, the days of
Vice Principal Goldenhoard
are over, all right?
We're not retreading this territory.
- I know.
- I wanna offer something to you.
You have stated your commitment
to the goddess Cassandra
of doubt and mystery.
I don't recognize that energy
as being what is powering your Smites,
and Zara, I think I'll
let her speak for herself.
You see Zara says, "Nor
do I think that is where
the nature of your warlock's
agreement comes from."
- Do you think it's possible that
[thoughtful instrumental]
my god is Kristen?
- You see that Porter sort
of honestly shrugs and says,
"Well listen, a paladin does not need
to make an oath to a deity.
I mean, it holds that
level of sacredness."
- Kristen's eating hot
chips in the bathroom.
- Zara goes, "After all, she
is your president, you know?"
- I've had the same thought.
- You see Porter says,
"To break it down maybe
a little more materially,
you have this mode you go into."
- Mm-hmm.
- And it's beautiful.
It is powerful and aggressive and dominant
in the service of other people.
And one of the hard things we have to do
in teaching these classes
is talk about the ways
in which dominance and
aggression is not evil.
It's not wrong.
It's just something that
has to be wielded carefully.
And looking at you
and this power that you have,
I can't help but wonder if,
if Kristen was not very dear to you,
would you have chosen Cassandra
out of a lineup of deities?
- No, it's really just that I feel like
Kristen needs some help there,
and I also feel like I'm
the perfect person to help.
Because she's doubt, I'm
rebellion. They go hand in hand.
- You see Zara speaks up and says,
"I think what you are
feeling is beautiful.
If you are feeling that doubt
and rebellion go hand in hand,
I know you worry for Kristen,
but perhaps the way to support her
is not to help her in lifting doubt,
but to truly embrace rebellion.
If you feel that that partnership
would lend strength to her,
then perhaps there is something there."
- I don't know, a lot of my
extracurricular time is taken up
kind of being an escort
for Fabian's girlfriend
or running security
detail at the steel mill.
- You see him smile and
say, "How about this?
I think
there is a power within you, obviously,
and the only thing I don't
feel comfortable signing off on
is saying you are a paladin of Cassandra."
- Oh, okay.
- Do you understand?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Because in reality, you're not.
You're a paladin of something
that is more within you,
a paladin of some other power.
If there was some entity
that reflected rebellion
that was connected to-
- Rage.
- Rage, yes.
That mode, that doggy
German Shepherd mode.
- Mm-hmm.
- If there was some other power like that
that you knew could support Cassandra,
was connected to your friend Kristen,
maybe that's a worthwhile
thing to explore,
'cause I don't see doubt as being
what motivates you fundamentally.
- Okay.
I will go look for a cause
that reflects me better.
- Myself and Zara are
both very, very proud
to call you our student.
You know, there's a lot
of different classes here,
and teachers can sometimes
fight tooth and nail
over making sure that the students
that are gonna go out in the
world and do the best work,
you know, you get to
say, that's one of mine!
But I think we're very happy to share.
You see Zara raises an eyebrow.
- Oh, you're allowed to call it out, Zara.
- I just raised an eyebrow.
I don't know what you're talking
about. Okay, enough, Fig.
- Okay, bye bye.
- That agreement, yes?
Sometime before winter.
- Okay, agreement.
New god, agreement. To do list.
- Awesome. Anything after
your academic tracks?
- Yeah, I basically want to shadow Ruben.
- Ooh.
- Find a time when he's alone,
set myself up as Wanda
Childa on a bus stop.
I'm gonna have an old school iPod,
and the thing I'm listening to
is Complicated Women,
colon, Lucy Frostblade.
- Oh!
- Wow! Wow, wow, wow.
Go ahead, give me your DC 15.
This can be Persuasion or Deception.
Actually, I think this
has to be Deception.
- Can I, just to help Fig out,
knowing that she's gonna do this,
cast Nystul's Magic Aura?
Which basically, any magical detection
or any magical Divine
Sense or anything like that
will read as whatever we
decide Wanda Childa is.
I don't know what.
- Hell, yes. I'll let you-
- Would my Actor feat give
advantage, since I'm in disguise?
- Yes, let's have you roll with advantage.
- Hell, yeah.
- Here we go now.
- And this is Deception?
- This is Deception.
- Nat 20.
- Hoi! Hoi hoi hoi!
- Yes!
- 'Credible.
- Oh, you love to see it.
- It had to work. It's Wanda Childa.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Had to!
- [Brennan] So you are on the bus.
- [Siobhan] She's so small,
she can barely get on the seat herself.
- Her feet are at the end.
- [Ally] Oh my god!
I hope the bus comes soon!
She's gonna blow away!
- I bet she's so cold.
- So people can see.
- Incredible.
You see, walking on the bus,
Ruben Hopclap steps onto the
bus and walks towards the back
and walks up to you and goes, "Wanda?"
[emotional piano music]
- Oh hey, Ruben. I didn't
think I'd ever see you again.
- Where'd you go after Frosty Fair?
- I went to go break up with my boyfriend.
- Frick. I'm so sorry.
[player snickering]
- I'm not.
[players laughing]
- Do you wanna-
- Sorry, I'm, like,
in the middle of the
most interesting podcast.
I, like, love true crime.
- He looks at it.
He stares at that and he says,
"What kinda podcast is that?"
- Oh, I don't know if you heard about it.
There was, like, a body
that was discovered,
and they're investigating it.
- Wait, where's this podcast?
He takes out his crystal
and starts looking for it.
- Oh, I got an early release.
- What? An early release?
- I'm part of a-
- Is it like a Patreon?
I'll go sign up for it. Where is it?
- No no no, early release.
I'm on a true crime-
- Could you forward it to me?
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Great.
- But yeah, I'm just, like, insatiable
for any details about this crime.
- What does it say in it?
- So far, honestly,
it's, like, nothing that I
could get my rocks off to.
- Wait, how literally...
Wait.
- I mean, I just love true crime.
- You love true crime,
yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Literally.
- Yeah, so far, it's just
kinda giving the background,
that they, like, found
this body or whatever.
- They found the body of Lucy Frostblade?
- Yeah, I thought that
was common knowledge.
- Oh sh*t. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely.
That's so f*cked up. I
knew her really well.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Holy sh*t, you knew her?
- Yeah, she was in my adventuring party.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Do you know what happened?
- Do you wanna take two seconds
to forward however you got the podcast?
I can give you my number.
I can give you my email.
- I'm sorry, I'm off the grid.
That's why I use an iPod.
- Oh, that doesn't have service or...
Oh, you have an iPod crystal.
Okay, so it only plays MP3s
and has no way of sending other stuff.
Well then, you wouldn't be
able to forward anything to me.
- Well, because I do have a
really big computer at home.
- [Brennan] Oh, it's big.
- Now we're bragging.
- It's physically big?
Yeah, sick, awesome.
- It's big and really
vintage. I got it secondhand.
- Okay. Yeah, I knew her super well.
Yeah, it's really messed up.
- That's crazy. What was she like?
- She was great. She was awesome.
- Really?
- Yeah, she was really awesome.
- f*ck, I'm so sorry that
that happened to you.
- Yeah. She was really noble.
She was, like, really true to her,
like, stuck to her g*ns.
Like, a really noble person.
That's so crazy.
Did they say anything else about the crime
or how they discovered
it or what the deal is?
- No, honestly, it's
mostly been interviewing
people who knew someone who knew her.
- Weird, okay.
- Yeah, you can tell that
they're gonna string it out
for way more episodes than it should-
- Weird. Do you know if
they're still in production?
'Cause I haven't been contacted
by the podcast to interview.
- Yeah, actually. Can we say
that Fig has a burner email?
- Yeah, for sure.
- Yeah, I think they do,
because- yeah, you know what,
I think I can forward you
the thing that I got it from.
- Right, 'cause you're on
a sort of exclusive group.
- Yeah, as soon as I get home.
- Great. Where do you-
- What's your email address?
And then I reach out my hand
to write it on my palm with a glitter pen.
- Rubby46
@SOL.com.
- Rubby46?
- Awesome, yeah, I'll forward it to you,
because, I don't know,
maybe once you listen to it,
we could, like, meet up, get coffee.
You could tell me about her.
Because you probably have, like,
the most humanizing story of her.
Maybe you could even be on the podcast.
- Yeah.
Could you forward my agent's email
to the people that make the podcast?
Sorry, I'm getting mobbed
for autographs right now,
so I have to get off the bus.
- It's just you and me on the bus.
- Yeah, but it's gonna-
I can tell.
- [Emily] And the tires have been slashed.
- You can kinda sense
when it's gonna happen.
Yeah. And he gives you Lola
Embers' email and he goes,
"Hey, Wanda, weird to run into you,
and like, not only my email,
but like, here's my phone number too."
And he gives you his
phone number and is like,
"And that's for if you just wanna chill-"
- Sorry, can you write it up
here? My hand is so small.
- Yeah, we're running out of space.
You should get a phone.
Do you want me to get you a phone?
- I just feel like phones-
- Hm?
- I feel like phones
manipulate you, and I kinda,
I like to be a little mysterious.
- In some ways, I think-
- And I Dimension Door away.
- Wanda! And you vanish.
Incredible!
- I like you being on a moving bus,
and you keep the momentum,
and you just roll on the side of the road.
- You watch the bus fly away
as an aarakocra descends
and lands on the bus and
begins banging on the roof.
I know you're in there!
Okay, that's mystery track.
Anything else from Fig?
- Yeah, I wanna do relationships with Riz.
- Great, give me Insight.
- Insight?
- Insight.
- I got a seven.
- Okay, I don't think you're
able to catch a lot of Riz
in this very busy academic calender.
- Okay, I leave him a card
that says, "Thinking of you,"
and then I sign it, "From Gorgug."
[players laughing]
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- I forget how to be myself all the time.
- In a brief moment of just
letting go of all the stress,
Riz breaks down and sends Gorgug
walls of text about how
much it means to him
that he would think of him in this moment
and how he knows we're
all going through a lot.
We're going through a lot,
we're not making a lot
of time for each other,
but the fact that you
would make time for me
in this way is just so meaningful.
- Gorgug works in his lab.
- Yeah, great.
- Could I give Riz something?
- Yeah, go for it.
- I'm gonna give him an artificer infusion
that's just the magic item Medal of Wit.
- [Brennan] Oh! What does that do?
- Once he uses it, it goes away,
but you can use it as an
action and you get advantage
on Intelligence checks and
saving throws for an hour.
- Whoa, incredible!
- Whoa. Thank you, Gorgug.
- And it's shaped like a
little metal briefcase.
- Aw, cute!
- That's genuinely-
Aw, you guys are good to each other.
- And I say, yeah, same. I left something-
- Just the two things that
you gave me were incredible.
I can't believe you got me two things!
- Yeah. [stammering] I'm just like...
For my notes, I'm trying
to remember what both are.
- You know. You know,
you absolute sweetie.
- Yeah, I do!
- Fabian, let's run through your downtime.
- Great. Popularity first.
- Let's do it.
- That's right!
[die rolling]
- That'll be, with Performance?
- Uh-huh.
- 29.
- Ooh!
- Advantage!
- 29 is maximum popularity.
- Okay.
- Maximum legend.
- Which means that you have,
any stranger from
Aguefort is charmed by you
for one minute on meeting you.
- Great.
- Damn.
- Yeah, I think Fabian-
- Middle schoolers too, or no?
- Yeah, middle schoolers included?
- No, not middle schoolers.
- Okay, I'll cover that.
- Great.
- Different school.
- Yeah, I think Fabian
does go through with it
and gets a Garthy O'Brien
style gilded tattoo
that just says Maximum Legend
on either side of his neck.
- Oh my god.
- And just shows up to school the next day
wearing an A tank and no jacket.
- Whoa!
- Oh!
- Wow, you-
- Holy sh*t.
- There's still Saran wrap on that.
- It's so red. Did you go
swimming as soon as you got it?
- Oh sh*t.
- No, you guys'll see it
tomorrow. In, like, a week.
- It almost distracts from the fact
that you can see full
nipple through that shirt.
- The sun is pretty bad for it, honestly.
Can I cover it with my shirt?
- Yeah, sure.
Yeah, and the nipple thing-
- Kristen, come on!
- I give you my hoodie.
- I tie that around my
waist and take my pants off.
- So the front's still pretty on display.
- Yeah, but I am wearing a sports bra,
and I think we're ready
for that level of intimacy.
- Incredible. Popularity,
through the roof.
Also, you can tell that the
school is kind of rickety.
There's so little leadership.
Classes are kinda whatever.
So there's lots of just socializing
in the halls and free
periods and stuff like that.
You're quickly ascending the ranks
of most legendary students
in the school's history.
- There it is, dude.
Hey, that's just the way
a maximum legend does it.
- This guy k*lled the f*cking principal
and nothing happened. He's just popular.
- Okay, for my next
roll, I have a question.
- [Brennan] Yes.
- Do I have any sense
of how I might be able
to talk to my papa, or
have I ever talked to him
since we came back from Hell?
- I don't think you've talked to him
since you came back from Hell.
I think that there are
ways of plane shifting
and other stuff like that,
but I think that you would have to, like,
it would not be easy, necessarily.
But you could. You absolutely could.
- Could I use my popularity
advantage to find some nerd
who might know how to speak interplanar?
- Go ahead, use advantage.
It's gonna be Arcana,
but you're gonna roll with advantage.
- Great.
That's a two and a three.
Which is, no. Which is a no.
- You also could take stress
here, if you want, but-
- Would I still have advantage
or would it just be another roll?
- I'd say it would still be advantage.
- All right, throw one on there.
- Are you at four?
- Yeah, I'm at four,
and I didn't wanna take
it this early, but-
- Hey, there you go.
[sighs heavily]
[dice rolling]
- Okay, that'll be a 20, or that's 21.
- On a 21, you talk to Skrank
at the AV Club and he goes,
"Well, we could always put
out an interplanar broadcast
and try to talk to him that way."
- Yeah, let's try it.
- Do you wanna do it here?
We could set up a booth for you
at Seacaster Manor, if you want.
- Oh yeah, come through.
Set up a booth. I'll get you some snacks.
Do you still...
Do you still eat-
- I don't f*cking eat worms, man!
- I don't know!
- I don't f*cking eat worms!
- I ate a bunch of guts the other day!
- What?
- A sh*t-ton of rotten vulture guts.
- Oh, you were eating...
Is that a f*cking-
- No! No!
- Vulture guts?
- No, it was because we were
doing a thing in the woods.
- f*ck you, man!
- Come on, dude!
- f*ck you, man!
- Just come over on, like,
Thursday after four, all right?
- Just Shellford comes by.
- Hey Shellford, be honest.
- Yeah.
- [Lou] Is he mad?
- Yeah, he's f*cking crazy mad.
He keeps telling people
he's gonna kick your a*s.
- Oh, he's gonna kick my a*s?
Well, I'll tell you, when this heals,
he'll know who he's dealing with.
- He sets up a booth for you.
Shellford says, "Yeah, so
just set it to the Nine Hells,
and you can broadcast there,
and he'll be able to pick it up
if he's got the sort
of gear radio for it."
- Okay.
Great.
Are you gonna hang out, or are you gonna-
- No, I'll head out.
- Okay, cool. It's just,
like, a private thing.
- Later. And you see he takes off.
- Breaker Breaker, this
is Fabian Seacaster,
looking for his papa, Bill Seacaster,
somewhere out there in the Nine Hells.
Breaker Breaker.
[players laughing]
Breaker Breaker?
Fabian, coming in for
Bill "Papa" Seacaster.
Papa, are you out there?
Papa?
- That's a three.
- Papa?
- You see that a little
light comes on in the booth
that indicates that the message
is being captured and recorded somewhere.
- Okay.
Well, it's your...
It's your darling boy, Fabian.
I just wanted to reach out
and let you know that I'm
out here dancing up a storm.
They call me Maximum Legend at school.
I'm really kicking a*s.
I k*lled the principal.
I just think that would've
been the kinda thing that,
you know, we would've really celebrated.
I was just calling because Fig
is kind of under an intense curse and...
I don't know. There's a lot going on,
so we haven't been able to deal with it,
but I just thought because you're in Hell
and it seems like she got it in Hell,
that you might be able to help.
But anyway, I'm sure you're out there,
I don't know, kicking
a*s and taking names,
so it's all good if you're too busy.
You know, I actually have
some people coming over.
I do a lo-fi study nights thing,
so I need to go clean up for that.
Anyway, love you, Papa.
- You leave that message.
You walk out,
and the booth is set up
in this massive room.
The sun has sort of set.
You exit from the booth,
look out at this massive room
in Seacaster Manor, some
barrels in a far off corner,
a sofa that's like 40 feet away.
- Got a podcast at maximum volume
so it feels like there's anyone else here.
I just start talking to
it. That is a good point!
- Wrapping up downtime.
Riz, you had a mystery roll
that you wanted to make at
the very end of your track.
Is anyone else appending anything?
Almost everyone's tracks
are all the way full up.
- [Emily] I have one
more kinda mystery thing.
- Yeah.
- I am a little concerned-
this is a really weird one,
but I'm a little concerned
about the amount of soil talk
and the idea, and this agricultural,
and I'm worried that we're
currently in December.
What's being planted that's
going to come out in the spring?
So I think I almost want to just go around
and see who's planting stuff.
What's been planted in the past couple-
- Riz wants to go to a farm.
- [Murph] That's true. Wanna come with?
- That's out in the farmland.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] You could definitely
do that investigation.
- You wanna come with?
- Was this the mystery roll
you wanted to put at
the end of your track?
- So I'll probably do a couple
mystery rolls, but yeah.
- Cool.
- I think let's go out to-
you wanna go out to Loam Farm with my mom?
- Yeah.
- We'll kinda combine these.
- I can just give him the Help action.
- [Brennan] Great, you guys are
gonna head out to Loam Farm.
- I still have two academics and Owlbears.
- Let's go for it. Let's roll it out.
- Fighter for 15.
[die rolling]
- [Zac] You do MCAT?
- [Ally] Hey!
- First one, I think, is flat,
but that'll be, is it Athletics?
- It's Athletics, so the
DC is starting at 15 now.
- I got a 21.
- That's a B. You get a B in fighter.
- I'll take it. Then I'm
gonna do Owlbears for 20.
- Okay.
[Siobhan gasps]
- That's not it. that's a
nine. Can I add Acrobatics?
- You can add Acrobatics.
- That's only 16.
- Okay. That's not gonna get it done.
- That's fine. It's a
weak couple of momths.
- So Gorgug, sort of in the
first chunk, is slacking,
and now you're slacking again.
Gorthalax is sort of like,
"What the hell is going
on out there, Cap?"
- [Lou] You know, the
tattoo took a while to heal.
- Yeah, those guys kept
slapping you in the tattoo.
They're not supposed to do that.
- No, and I had to go back and
get some parts of it redone.
Hey, after the holidays? I'm all in, 110%.
- Let's roll bard. DC 25 is a D.
- Great.
That is-
- Do you want a Bardic?
- That's a 24.
- g*dd*mn.
Oh, I can cast Guidance. If I'm there-
- I don't think I've
allowed spellcasting before.
I've allowed Portent rolls and Bardics,
but I'm not gonna allow spellcasting.
- Now, explain to me what happens
if I take one of these little red tokens.
- It acts as a stress token.
- Okay.
- And in addition to that, on
a failure, with a rage token,
you must make a Wisdom
saving throw, the DC of which
is the same as the current track check,
DC 25 Wisdom.
- Which I will fail.
- Can I take a stress token
for him? It's a bard thing.
- It is a bard thing.
I will allow you to take the token,
but because it's on his track,
it's gonna be a rage token.
- Don't take a rage token for me.
- That would be insane, 'cause
then you'd still have four,
and I'd go from one to rage.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- You sure?
- I can take one.
- No! No, The Ball,
you're not taking my rage.
- I mean, I'm already cursed, right?
So maybe I should just take a rage token.
- [Siobhan] The glee
in your eye right now.
- Is it just the NPC thing,
or can I take one of these other things?
If I fail it, which I very likely will-
- On a failure, which
you very likely will,
a character lashes out,
gaining permanent disadvantage
on Persuasion checks with an NPC.
So that one happens.
There's an NPC that you
have disadvantage with.
- [Lou] Got it, and then also-
- And the one of the
following three happens.
- Jesus Christ, Brennan.
- Or you just fail.
- Or I just fail.
- Or you get a D or
whatever. Or no, you fail.
- Can you take the Bardic?
- Take the Bardic.
- I mean, it's cursed.
- Take the Bardic!
- It's gonna curse us somehow.
- Yeah.
- We don't know how it's gonna curse us.
- Yes.
- You'll just k*ll Clobica.
[tense instrumental]
- f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!
- Getting a rage token
is so bad, especially,
you don't have that many
spells to begin with.
You get one d10 of your spells taken away.
- Not all of Fig's Bardics
are totally cursed,
I don't think.
- Yeah, they've all been cursed.
- Every single damn one of them.
- Every single one's been bad?
- Every single one has
had a bad repercussion,
but will the repercussion be
worse than the rage token?
- We've always k*lled somebody,
right? We k*lled a god.
- [Siobhan] No, I just passed out.
- Oh, you just passed out.
- [Siobhan] I just had an asthma attack
and passed out in my room.
- Also, the shrimp wasn't
exactly what k*lled Cassandra.
It just didn't help.
- The shrimp didn't k*ll Cassandra, okay?
- I think I'm gonna take
the Bardic from Fig.
- Yes!
- Okay.
- Good man.
- Over the rage.
- [Brennan] Over the rage.
- Over destroying a relationship,
'cause the people in my bardic class
are very important to me,
and I've already done a
lot to jeopardize that.
- Sure, sure.
- If you roll an eight,
you can get a B, I think.
- Go ahead and roll
the Bardic Inspiration.
- It's a d8.
- Don't kiss it. It's bad.
[tense music continues]
- It's a one.
- So you get a D in bard class.
- That's all you needed.
- That's all I needed.
- [Brennan] Ds make degrees.
- Ds get degrees!
- Fabian, roll a Constitution
saving throw for me.
- Constitution?
- Nat 20, please, nat 20.
- I got a 15.
- What's your spell save DC?
- 18.
- Oh no!
- Fabian, I'm gonna leave this up to you.
[Lou whimpers]
[Zac snickering]
- He's punishing me for not
taking one of his little tokens.
- I know, I think he's gonna
get vindictive about it.
- There is some point you lose control
of an important bodily function.
I want you to tell me which one it is,
and I want you to tell me who
you are with when it happens.
[Emily laughing sadistically]
[tense music fades]
- I sh*t myself.
I don't wanna sh*t
myself in front of Mazey,
so if you'll allow it,
I'd just like to sh*t,
but then I'm mid-pirouette,
and it just perfectly flies out of my...
My leg is at a perfect right angle,
and my pants are just loose enough
that it goes straight onto
the teacher's chest, a full-
- That's so much worse
than you had to make it.
- You could have just sh*t
yourself around like four people.
- [Siobhan] You could
have puked in front of us!
- I love it. In front of-
- [Zac] You could have chosen the AV Club.
- The moment it happens, Terpsichore says,
"I don't want anyone here to laugh.
I don't want anyone here to laugh,
because what just happened
was perfectly natural."
- I'm so sorry.
- Don't apologize.
- I've only been eating leftovers.
- What?
- I've only been eating leftovers
'cause there's just so much of them.
Instead of throwing it away,
I was like, I'll just keep
eating the fried rice.
- Your stomach gurgles once again.
- God.
[Zac choking]
I'm sorry, everyone. I'm
still Maximum Legend.
This is a brief interruption
in our normal programming.
- You see that one of
the students gets up,
an unnamed bard student who goes,
"I quit Aguefort."
[players laughing]
- What? Unnamed Bard Student, please!
- I think this'll be-
- Unnamed Bard!
- This is Quincy. It's Quincy again.
You see Quincy goes,
"This school is bullshit."
- [Lou] Are you kidding me, Quincy?
- And you're not Maximum Legend.
- What the f*ck, Quincy?
- You know what the L stands for?
- No.
- It's not legend.
It's Maximum Loser.
And you see he takes his lute
and breaks it over his knee.
I'm never gonna play music again,
and I'm never gonna dance again,
'cause what happened here was so nasty.
- Quincy, no!
Quincy, please!
- This was a temple to lies!
You all worship this
guy! You all worship him!
- Quincy!
- Poop flew out of your pants!
- Quincy!
- And it hit the teacher,
and she's gonna protect you,
'cause this place is f*cked!
- Quincy, come on!
- It's freaking f*cked, dude!
- Quincy, remember the good times!
- You see he headbutts the
door, and his head is bleeding,
and he goes, "I f*cking hate this school!"
And he walks out of the classroom.
And that's all for this
episode of "Dimension 20".
- Oh my god.
- Tune in next week
as we deal with the
aftermath of that outburst
and whatever comes next at Loam Farm.
See you then.
You arrive in the elven homeland,
and there is snow all over the ground.
Welcome to Kei Lumennura once more...
Grapenip.
- Was that you trying to say my name?
- Nope, I was doing a different word.
- Grape Nip?
- He called me Grape Nips.
- All right, everyone stop
being rude to my grandpapa
who paid for you all to
come on vacation with us.
- I think your mum paid for us-
- Who gives a sh*t?
- You're cursed!
- No, no, no!
- My life doesn't make any sense!
- No, no, no!
- I found a puppy! It grants wishes!
I was elected mayor! It's driving me mad.
- Why?
- I don't deserve this!
- Yes, you do!
- No, I don't!
- Gilear, you're the chosen one.
- I am not the chosen one!
- Where did you find these cats?
Did you just steal them from the street?
- No, I didn't steal them
from the street, Adaine.
I went to an animal
rescue and I asked them
to show me the ones that
have been there the longest.
- Oh boy.
- Oh!
- Are you gonna cry?
- [Brennan] No, I'm-
- I'm going to!
- I'm allergic, because
you upset the cats,
and when you do that,
they all shed so much
that they sh**t their hair everywhere and
it got in my eyes!
- You've become so sweet and nice.
- Sometimes cats are
aggressive and mean-spirited,
but that doesn't mean-
- Sometimes you can't show
your care to other human beings,
so you've got to show it to cats.
- I have so much love to
give, exclusively to cats.
What I said was totally
f*cked up. I'm really sorry.
- No! Now I'm saying bro really loud.
No, bro! No, seriously, dude!
I totally get it, bro.
- You're a real bro. Thank you.
- Of course, bro.
Seriously, dude, man.
It's great to see you. I
kinda punch her shoulder.
- She's like, "Hey,
lay off, m*therf*cker!"
- I'll k*ll you!
- What's that, Kipperlilly?
- Ruben, someone needs to
take the fall for this,
and it's not me.
You need to take the fall for this.
- You see he puts a hand over his mouth,
and squeezing out in between
his fingers is blood.
[tense music crescendos]
[Brennan howling]
You feel a hand grab your arm
and pull you out of the way.
[as Baron] Riz Gukgak!
- No!
No!
- Whose side are you on?
- Whose side are you on,
Riz Gukgak? Ha ha ha!
We gonna die in here together!
♪ T-T-T-Taking over, teenage rebellion ♪
♪ No more fantasizing about it ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, let's go ♪
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21x10 - Cursed Out
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.