01x01 - The Asparagus of La Mancha

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

thank you

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause] [Music]

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yeah hey buddy dreaming about losing to me at jackers again but don't take it so hard

I'll give you another shot at the Checker King after work thank you for your concern Poncho my old friend but it

was much more than merely a bad dream was it a wretched dream not quite

insufferable no objectionable hideous malodorous Poncho I believe I just had

the Impossible Dream just by definition wouldn't that be

impossible or maybe you just had a difficult dream or perhaps an impossible brand new stream or even look it was my

dream and it was impossible all right Milan crowd will be here soon dream or

no dream it's time to get to work [Music]

the bird order up Noah's boy on bread side of frog sticks drag up to the

garden with a stomp on the Alps foreign [Music]

Ty is opening up in town Joe did you hear that means competition

he might as well close our doors right now [Applause] hey don't worry many a restaurant has

come and gone but we're still standing this is not just any restaurant it is

the food factory did you say the food factory

they are the most popular franchise in the world no at the restaurant within 50

miles of them can stay open do you by chance know exactly where

they're opening their new restaurant re [Music] e

CE now Poncho don't you worry at the construction alone could stretch out for years

[Music]

but there's no conceivable way they could open for business anytime soon

[Music] I wonder how long it'll take for them to

attract the crowd you don't think perish the thought our

customers are true blue they'll never desert us

wait a minute this is it this was in my dream my Impossible Dream was warning me

about the food factory it's all coming true did your dream possibly tell you

how to get our customers back thank you

[Music]

what am I going to do I'll tell you what you're going to do you're going to King me

[Music] that'll do how can we possibly fight

this foreign look we'll restructure we'll find an area they're not covering

and do that your move

I win [Music] but they do everything they have food as

big as your head

yikes what's in this stuff I don't know what to do my friend I'm

afraid everything we've worked for is over I can't believe my ears we've made

it through thick and thin together this is no different that's where you're wrong Poncho I'm afraid it's never been

this thin [Music] tomorrow night

[Music]

what am I going to do

[Music]

oh heavens [Music]

that's right you'll need a whole lot of help to take down the checkered King man

I'm glad you're up because I've been thinking and I got a couple of great ideas that are guaranteed to turn this

place around no I believe I have the solution my first Dream told me what was to come last night's dream has revealed

how we will come back to the food factory oh okay but like I said I got

some ideas too yes it's fine in my dream every time I looked in a mirror I saw a

different reflection which can only mean that to succeed I need to be different

than I am now maybe it just means you need to clean the mirrors in your dreams

we need to check change the look and image of the restaurant make it different something more entertaining

Poncho I've dreamed of The Impossible theme and we're going to make it happen

with two for one coupons

[Music]

I don't think this is going to work patience my friend patience

let's go crazy

we're crazy all right just wait it

is [Music] a little for coffee when you can pay a

lot [Music] oh this is my best idea yet where is everyone

[Applause] forget about that old Cafe come where do

we here the Curve [Music]

thank you [Music]

Dan hey look the checkerboard's all set up how about a game to relax and take

your mind off Checkers don't you get it we're going to lose it all everything

we've worked for and all you can think about is Checkers

[Music] I don't know pardon Joe maybe you should

start looking for another job [Music]

hello and welcome to the cafe formerly known as La Mancha where the food and service are par Excellence but between

you and me I'd avoid the salsa it could k*ll a horse actually I didn't come here

to eat I came here to hire you I'm the manager of the food factory across the

street or perhaps you've heard of us the food factory it's a pretty big

building right over there across the street right here or on this street

we got more business than we can handle it everyone tells me what a great waiter you are so I'm here to offer you a job

[Music] thank you but I've got to say no we're usually packed in here

right about now look Pancho think about yourself for a minute nothing personal

but this Don fellow in this restaurant of failures you've got to face facts and

cut your losses

like I said think about yourself

let me be straight with you Don and I have worked together for years but more

importantly we're friends a friend is always loyal Mr Food Factory man and I'm

gonna stick by and help my friend in his time of need well allow me to show you

the door look the door I appreciate loyalty but

it's the wooden thing with the knob if you ever change your mind just let me

know [Music]

what did you say

let's go I can't understand the word you're saying [Music]

go ahead and go everyone else is deserted me why shouldn't you listen I'm

not leaving Cafe La Mancha we're going to make it you'll need to get some rest

maybe we can play tomorrow night perhaps I'll get the answer to all our

problems tonight good night donkey Hardy pleasant dreams oh

[Music]

[Music]

thank you please

[Music]

[Applause]

come on

[Music] oh good you're up just wait until you hear my latest idea hold that thought

Pancho I just had a dream that was different from all the others I now know

what to do to rescue Our Cafe is it a better idea than a touchdown turkey I

simply need to attack the food factory and Vanquish my foe once and for all

you're kidding right this is my quest to follow that storm let's start I thought

we were talking about the food factory no matter how no matter how far it's

across the street to fight for the right without question sure that sounds

wonderful but unless I'm mistaken attacking restaurants is against the law

weren't you paying attention this is my quest okay listen to me very carefully

I'm telling you as a friend you can't do this oh but I must and you're going to

help me [Music]

you're going to make it fool of yourself you first go [Music]

attention ladies and gentlemen I have any louder they can't hear you

Adventure ladies and gentlemen I have an announcements

[Music]

Pancho leave him and join us [Music]

thank you my friend and that's quite enough

I am Don Quixote and I am calling out the food factory to meet me in a battle

of honor the winner shall keep his restaurant the loser shall leave town

forever are you afraid to cross swords with me I

give you this last warning meet me now and let us do battle or I shall be

forced to attack that's crazy am I look if you attack my restaurant

I'll have you arrested

a piranha and any Authority you call will no doubt agree with me on that point

hey Don Sheriff Bob here don't do anything crazy or you'll get arrested

I'm afraid it's too late to back out now no it isn't yes it is don't do it I'm

awesome

through this [Music]

please have you had enough surrender or you

shall taste my pop [Music]

this cell cannot hold me I demand satisfaction fight me like a man take

off your armor and go to bed how about some friendly Council I

brought you a few things for your sleepover hold on a minute what you got in the bag Jessie's regular bedtime

supplies did you bring my nighty night hat Jack you're a good friend Poncho corn chips

got him salsa extra spicy yep that'll give you nightmares

wait a minute [Music]

foreign what are you doing I'm doing this for your own good Don I need to stick by you

and do what's best for you in your time of need what are you talking about I

need my salsa no Don what you need is to lay off the salsa no it you've turned

against me too Say It Isn't So upon Joe don't you

[Music] don't you

what what are you all doing any bad dreams last night well I've come to

think of it no any dreams at all no I slept quite well thank you your cells

are surprisingly comfortable I knew it it's the extra hot salsa every night

you've been eating it before you went to bed that's why you've been having bad dreams now I'm sure that's part of it

but you don't expect me to believe [Music] that do it all right you want to press

charges we bent the giant spatula back no harm no foul if you agree to stop

eating that stuff you're free to go go go where Cafe La Mancha is through

I've got nowhere to go don't be so sure [Music]

I need six orders of toast extra crispy is that Toast French or domestic French

open for breakfast how did you ever come up with that idea simple the food

factory doesn't open up until lunchtime I told you find something they don't do and then do that oh thank you my friend

thank you for standing by me when I needed you the most hey that's what friends do my friend now let's get to

work we have hungry people to feed it would be my pleasure say how about a

friendly game of Checkers after lunch the Decker King accepts The Challenge and awaits his coronation

and now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry the part of the show where lady comes out and sings a silly song

there once was a boy who lived in a house and the house sat under a tree

by the tree ran a fence that stretched far and wide around the gated

communities [Music]

can I have my ball can you get my ball

kicked it into the tree and my ball bounced up and my ball dropped in to the

gated community

oh that could be everything's so lovely

your hearts are filled with me and when you come to visit you can stand outside and see what a lovely bunch we are in

our gated Unity um can I have my ball can you get my

ball I kicked it into the tree and my ball

bounced up and my ball dropped in to the Gated Community

is where we like to be our clothes are never dirty handle arms are always green

and when you come to visit you can stand outside and see what a tiny bunch

[Music] eight years [Music]

[Music]

thank you

[Music]

yeah wow uh and Dr Watson here what's the good word Sherlock beats me

but when I find it you'll be the first to know actually there are several good words

for example there's superb charitable philanthropic and the ever Dependable too good to be forgotten which

technically I suppose isn't a good word but rather a group of words

uh-huh come come my good man our table awaits

you two gents solve another case that we have my dear lady one usual coming right

up here you go enjoy

boy if the service here gets any slower we'll have to find another place [Music]

so one of you two celebrating this time I can only assume it involves mystery

Mayhem and male officers you could say that you could if I understood what you were saying so don't tell what dastardly

crime have you just solved well it's all rather hush hush

but no one in London will ever have to worry about the howling dogs of Baker Street again

all right all right oh how'd you solve it did you use your superlative powers of observation or did basic forensics crack

this particular case open you sure talk funny actually it was a combination of the two after a careful examination of

the crime scene we decided the best way to explain it is in a song oh no not

again [Music]

if all of you are wondering what I what I found in all my wandering here's a

clue for you I knew just what to do and uh me too

if a crime has been committed which makes you rather curious what culprits

and solutions lurk Elusive and impervious and fancy words bewilder you and make you feel ridiculous the crime

will not be solved until you grab the phone and call on me just call 1-800

Sherlock operators are standing by we're so thorough in our searching as we sipping sword and slew for Clues faculty

for skirting any felons off deceptive bruise we never leave the job except the snack

and maybe take us news offenders best surrender cause eventually they're sure to lose it's all probability really you

see given that logic and deduction are on our side a criminal stands a highly diminished chance of succeeding in his

misdeed criminals what are they thinking [Applause] so if a criminal commits a crime who's

hiding in his secret lair he thinks a crime was perfect brought up certain facts he's unaware he's left a print and

not just major lack of hair upon the stair we'll find a clue and track him down and trap him in a seat crack

it seems they're always in their secret lair the lesson here for all to see is really

rather obvious when Sherlock Holmes is on a case

in the course of litigation our opposers please are tenuous following your fancy talk is getting rather strenuous the

crime will not be solved until you grab the phone wait for that tone and call on

[Music] [Applause]

well another perfect ending to another perfect day huh something bothering you

my good man I thought we solved these cases together but you're the only one who gets any

credit for him now that's just silly we're a team we're friends you and everyone else knows that but do you know

that is that the way you treat a friend what do you mean oh friends right of

course we're friends well then is that how you treat a friend is how how I treat a friend well I'll tell you Mr

Sherlock Holmes Dr Watson I think Kevin's a fan yeah there's been a rubery

at booking and b*ll*ts and we're in desperate need of your services what there's been a ruby at booking and

Bullis and or in desperate need of your services

I can't understand a word you're saying seriously what there's been a robbery at

Buckingham Palace a robbery then come come Dr Watson the games of foot

oh thank goodness you've arrived we are in desperate need of your services now

him I understand this crime is a case of National Security if it's not solved quickly I fear dire consequences don't

worry my good man we'll have it solved in a jiffy what was stolen Aki I'm sorry I thought you said a key I

did you lost your keys seriously that's it go to a hardware store and get a copy

made get a keychain like the rest of us you don't need the world's greatest living detective you need a locksmith

sheer luck if I may oh sir what did the key unlock the door to the room where

the Golden Ruler is kept quickly sheer luck there's not a moment to waste all

right would somebody please tell me what's going on [Music]

this morning hmm yes I see um uh excuse me a little help here

what's up well you could you describe what you see okie dokie it's your basic

pillow without a key in it not much to write home about as near as I can figure whoever stole this has a great dislike

for soft pillows because if you're gonna steal a key who wouldn't take this

pillow I mean it's gorgeous now I'm putting my money on a headless Bandit with a morbid fear of pillows why

headless if you don't have a head you wouldn't need a pillow come now let's be logical a prime minister exactly where

is the door that this key unlocks [Music] and that's where you keep the Golden

Ruler yes it all comes together now the room that holds the Golden Ruler the old

Golden Ruler so what's the Golden Ruler only the most valuable treasure in the

entire Kingdom right got that but what is it wait nobody move

our criminal has left their footprints in the dust on the floor we must all be extremely careful not to disturb these

Clues all right nobody moved you'll hurt him nobody move I'm detective Bill Trout

from the forensic investigators of Southampton and I'm Sergeant John Spud

from the Canterbury Highway Patrol oh great fish and chips not again don't you

guys ever take a break we've been sent to secure the area prepare to be secured

good please wait you're disturbing the crime scene this is all jurisdiction your

services are no longer required Tata Gentlemen please Mr Sherlock Holmes is

the world's greatest living Detective foreign

[Music]

if I could just have a few more minutes I said move along

wow

look what you found a secret passageway oh good job

this oh all in a day's work the footprints enter and exit right here this was how

the key was stolen Move Along nothing to see here I shall announce this to the

king and queen immediately oh let me whoa whoa

[Music] Move Along nothing to see here

[Music] top of the evening one and all

and his partner in crime Dr Watson so Lads what's shaking when we're on the

case the boots of every criminal in London my good lady the usual if you please so

Sherlock what nefarious no good Nick did you and Dr Watson incarcerate this fine evening coming in he means did we arrest

anyone tonight oh well as always it's all rather hush hush

but yours truly stumbled upon a clue that blew this case wide open we should

have our criminal before the week is out

I can't reveal exactly where I was tonight but let's just say it rhymes

with lucky ham Dallas [Music] there I was faced with perhaps the most

difficult mystery in my career if I failed here the most valuable Treasure of the entire Kingdom would be lost

fortunately for the king and queen I was on the top of my game [Applause]

[Music] and where you going cake well you didn't need my help

solving the case so why would you need my help eating the cake

foreign who solved the case right well yeah why

Watson Watson Watson come on don't be mad just come

back inside and tell me what's bothering you what's bothering me what's bothering me

what's bothering me yes yes yes is this

a game are we saying everything in threes you really don't have a clue do you look I know we're a team you know

we're a team everybody knows we're a team so what's the problem so I leave out some Minor Details like the fact

that I've worked with you on every single case exactly little stuff like that so you ready for some cake because

I'm starving you are amazing right thank you you're not so bad yourself

see when I put my mind to it I can compliment you you know what really hurts when you stub your toe or when you

accidentally run into a wall or when you're walking along and an anvil falls on your head now that hurts like the

Dickens what really hurts is when someone says they're your friend but they don't treat you like one

I see what you saw in all autograph books

I'm never too busy to help out a fan [Music]

good night anyway what were you saying did you sign both of our names uh they only asked for

mine you just don't get it when you want to start treating me like

a friend come talk to me what don't I get but we're a team where are you going

come back Dr Watson Dr Watson [Music]

[Music]

hello Mr Rome are you here sorry to interrupt Mr rounds but the

garden roller has been stolen what I said

sorry to interrupt but the golden Lala has been Stalin what language are you

speaking hi I speak Scottish he says someone's golden hula is swollen now he

said the gout and Jeweler are outstrolling see I thought I was hearing something about Samoans perhaps coats

and stools all go belly folding scooters have been rolling origin

ruler has been selling oh

stolen then come come Dr Watson uh oh can you wait here a minute I'll be right

with you [Music]

hello Dr Watson hello [Applause]

excuse me what is Dr Watson home the good doctor's been gone all day suffering from a broken audience an

identity expecting back anytime soon [Music]

Mr ohms isn't it shame on you for not being a better friend to the good doctor

[Music] how many medes does he have

if it isn't the highest if you just follow the Golden Rule none

of this would have happened [Music]

now that just hurts like the Dickens excuse me but I must find Dr Watson

I must must you well if you're such a great detective go find them yourself

oh well the game's afoot

nothing to see here move along oh Mr Holmes how good of you to come I'm

afraid this latest turn of events is already scandalous what if word of this theft somehow leaks out to the Press ow

too late the Golden Ruler has been stolen tell me everything you know oh my

everything oh well let's start with history are the moles invaded Spade in 711 A.D and after that about the case I

need oh quite right and the stolen key from the key room unlocked the door to

the treasure room and the Golden Ruler is gone that's about it Move Along

and not to put undue pressure on you but would it be too much trouble to ask you to save the day I'm on the job

[Music] so where do we begin don't have a clue

usually about this time Dr Watson would ask something like when did this crime take place well it it must have happened

at the changing of the God but that's what I can't understand after the loss of the key we've doubled Our God Duty

right Changing of the Guard and since every entrance and exit is blocked and

there's no other way in or out of that room it can only mean that this is a lot harder than it looks

unless wait a minute [Music]

excellent deduction Sherlock [Music]

all is not lost detective trout of fish and chips has deduced that the thief and

our national treasure are still hiding within the walls of a palace well done

Mr trout you have provided a great service to your kingdom hey hold on

instead of the brain prime minister

give it to you wait a minute

that's it I get it I get it now thank you detective trout you stole my idea

into credit for it I don't like to be treated like that and I can't thank you enough uh okay don't you see this is

what Dr Watson's been talking about all along in the past I took credit for everything I wasn't trying to be mean

but I was inconsiderate like you fine now Move Along

[Music] this is fantastic I finally understand your highness we need to treat others

like we want to be treated that's exactly what the Golden Rule says which is why it's the most valuable treasure

in all the kingdom that means we need to treat our friends like we want to be treated too oh yes it certainly does

apply to friends yeah I can't solve this case on my own I need my teammate the

greatest detective in all the land I need Dr Watson and so you shall have him

Dr Watson I get it I know I saw your majesty if it pleased the court I would

like to reveal the criminal who had the audacity to steal the Golden Ruler now

hold on a minute I've got jurisdiction here so move along

right after you solve the case as my good friend Sherlock has rightly

deduced the thief in question is still in our midst because this was an inside

job the thief is none other than one of the palace guards are you quite sure

each of our Palace Gods is loyal to the core oh yes but one guard happens to be

an imposter a foreign spy sent here to steal England's most precious possession I won't have it if you're a thief step

forward your majesty if I may are any of you

guards foreign spies no and are all of you loyal to the crown we I'm sorry Dr

Watson but I've questioned them thoroughly and I'm afraid you're mistaken prime minister people may

sometimes lie but facts never do first there were the footprints we found

in the key room they're the exact size of a pea then there was the secret

passageway on the wall I found black fibers not only do these fibers match

the guards hats perfectly but they start and stop at the exact height of an English guard that's how I knew a guard

had stolen the key but I still didn't know why that is until this morning that's when I secretly investigated the

crime scene and found the answer to my riddle so you were here all the time I should have known it I found crumbs

crumbs that turned out to be from green cheese and baguette bread the breakfast staple not of England but of a foreign

land that's when I knew a spy was in our

midst but you saw me question our Gods all of them are loyal to the crown are

they are they are they I love threes if my best friend Dr Watson says that one

of them is a spy you had best better believe it buddy

[Music] the Golden Ruler

a spy and I would have gotten away with it too but for my hair impressible love

of bridges our national treasure has been recovered

All Because Of You Mr Holmes oh no begging the king's pardon but the real

hero here is Dr Watson no sheer luck we did it as a team as friends that's right

as friends [Music] treat others the way you want to be

treated that just about says it all doesn't it forgive me you bet buddy

[Music] if a crime has been committed which

makes you rather curious what culprits and solutions lurk Elusive and impervious and fancy words be real to

you and make you feel ridiculous the crime will not be sold until you grab the phone and call on us a team that's

not defeated when I choose you like I want to be treated we're so thorough in

our searching as we sipped in sword and sleuth for Clues faculty for skirting any felons off deceptive Ruby cover any

treasure vehicle or silver casual Jewels or criminal I wish to find [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music]