01x04 - Tonight You Die

[bunniefuu]

Now, Frank, when you're working
with dangerous industrial

equipment, it's very important
to always remember

[grinding sound]

[loud machine noises]

[loud machine noise]

and if you don't do that,
you could get k*lled.

Now, you two, I want you
to go to the store room and get

all the anti-ant and eradicate
all the pesky ants I keep

seeing around this building.

I hate ants and all insects, and
I want this job done properly.

Do I make myself clear?

We're running a food business
here, and we can't have bugs

running around everywhere.

I spent 40 years building up
this peanut butter business.

It's my life.

I love it.

I love this business.

I love it.

I really do.
I love it.

I really, really love it.

I really, really love it.

Since my wife died,

there's nothing else left.

What are you waiting for?

Get to it.

[music]

Okay, Frank, we've got to get
into this anti-anting for

Mr. Maddox.
Follow me.

We've got to do along
this wall, all along this wall.

Okay, right along it.

We have to be very thorough.

Follow me

Under these vats.

In fact, all along this area
as well, like the corridors,

the bathrooms, okay?

Because this is our first day.

We want to do a good job for

Mr. Maddox, don't we?

Well, this is nearly empty.

We'll have to get
another bottle.

I love this factory.

[laughs]

I love this factory.

[music]

[screams]

[screech]

[wheels rolling]

[crash]

I love this factory.

♪ I got a feeling,
got a bit of an inkling ♪

♪ this is going to be
one of those days ♪

♪ this is a show all about me.
- And me ♪

♪ and all the things I do
and all the things I see ♪

♪ And also what I see ♪

♪ I got a feeling,
got a bit of an inkling ♪

♪ as long as we're together,
it'll be okay ♪

[upbeat music]

[door closes]

[choking sound]

[whack]

Well, there it is. Get to it.

Colin, we can't go looking
for another job today.

What's your excuse now?

What's this?

What does this say here?

Can you read that?

Friday the 13th.
We can't go out today.

It's not safe.

You're pathetic.

You've been making
an excuse every day

for the last fortnight.

I have not.
That's not true.

It's only been two weeks.

Anyway, I'm not going out today.

It's not safe.

Weird things happen
on Friday the 13th.

Terrible, strange, bad things.

Ow! Ow!

What? What's wrong?
What's wrong?

There's I've got
enough milk in this tea.

Everything's going wrong.

Hey, where's the remote?

For the TV.

Where's the TV remote?

I left it here on the couch.

It's on top of the TV.

Oh, my God.

I didn't leave it there.

I left it on the couch.

There's a poltergeist here.

It's moving things around.

[screams]

Look at those cushions.

Get out.

Leave us alone.

This is our home.

[screams]

Wahh! Wasps.

It's a plague of wasps.

Like in that film, k*ller bees.

Frank, it's just one wasp.

Watch out, Cole?

[slap]

See?
Dead, gone.

It's okay.

You m*rder*r.

What are you going to k*ll next?

Me or anything else
that gets in your way?

You're a psychopath.

Stop getting carried away.

You're being so reactionary.

What did you say?

You're being reactionary.

Reactionary?

Cole doesn't use
big words like that.

You're not Cole, are you?

What have you done with Cole?
Take that mask off.

What are you doing?

Frank, Frank, Frank.

- You're an alien, aren't you?

Snap out of it!

Snap out of it.

Cole, I'm fine now.

Get a grip on yourself.

[slap]

I'm okay.

Snap out of it, I said.

I'm out of it.
I'm out of it.

Please come together.
- I'll stop it!

You're delirious.
- Snap out of it.

You snap out of it.
- You snap out of it.

You snap out of it.
- You snap out of it.

You snap out of it.
- You snap out of it.

You snap out of it.
- You snap out of it.

You snap out of it.
- You snap out of it.

You snap out of it.
- You snap out of it.

[continues arguing]

Frank, the only way
of overcoming fear

is by facing it.

Trust me, this will work.

I'll be with you in a moment.

What do you mean you're not
coming in to work?

Food poisoning?
It's not good.

peanut butter?

Really?
Yeah.

Okay, take it easy.
Bye.

Yes, mate.

We want to get a really,
really scary film.

Oh, this looks scary.
Is that scary?

Milo and Otis?

Hey, Cole, look at this.

[hums hula music]

Frank.

What about the Silence
of the Lambs?

I'm not really
into nature films.

Do you want to put
it back for you?

No, it's okay.

It's I got to my job.

Excuse me.
Have you got that film?

You know that film
with that guy?

You know that actor guy?

You know that actor guy
who's in all those films?

Have you got it?

You know the one I mean?

What's his name?
Um

He's been in heaps of films.
You'd know him.

You'd know him for sure.
Um

You know, that-

actor guy.

What about Herbie goes bananas?

Who's Herbie?

Is he some psychopath
or something?

Oh! umm...

Hey, hey.

This will help.
This will help.

I just thought he
was in that other film.

He was in that other film
where he plays a cop.

You know?

You know the film
You know what I mean, where

that actor guy plays a cop.

I can put
it back for you.

No, it's okay.
I'll do it.

It's my job.

Oh, he was after that bad guy.

No.

Ahh, and he's, the um

actor guy.

What is his name?

See, the thing is, the thing is.

The thing is that when
I say it, you'll go,

Ah! Yes! Him.

I love him.
Adore him.

The actor guy.

Yes, I just.

Yes, but I can't think of his.

It's on the tip of my tongue.

You'd know him

see, the thing is...

The thing is that you
would know him.

He's got the hair and the eyes
and a bit of a nose

and the mouth there.

It's all held together
with a...

Like a face.

Shut up.

Listen, mate.

Why don't you
try a Brain dead zombie K*llers?

It's right there at the end
of the third shelf.

It's very scary.

Exactly what you're after.

All righty.

[crash]

You'll put those
back, won't you?

Because it's your job.

Hello, Mitchell.

As you may well know, it's
Friday, the 13th, Mitchell.

And we're going
to watch a scary video.

Because we laugh
in the face of fear.

[laughing]

Terrific.

[door closes]

[keys clink]

And in tonight's top story, six
people are in hospital after

eating what is believed to
be contaminated peanut butter.

It's now been confirmed that
all of its [inaudible]

portion of Mannex peanut
butter in the last two days.

We cross now to Martin
Peterson Live at the

Mannex peanut butter factory.
- I loosened it for you.

What's the situation out there.

How are you guys, Mary?

We're awaiting
the appearance of Mr. Mannex

for a statement,
and-and here he comes now.

Mr.
Mannex.

-Mr.
Mannex.

Any comment, Mr.
Mannex, on this terrible
tragedy?

We're doing our utmost to find
the cause of this unfortunate

situation, and as a precaution,
we have withdrawn

all stock from sale.

[slap]

But rest I'm just assured we
will sort out this affair
quick-smart,

and Mannex peanut butter
will continue to serve

the Australian public
as it has done for 40 years.

As we always say at Mannex,
Mannex is Australian

for peanut butter.

If you're not eating Mannex,
you can-

[slap]

Piss off.

Mr.
Mannex.

Mr.
Mannex.

Mr.
Mannex.

- Mr.
Mannex.

Do you think this could spell
the end of Mannex peanut butter?

I love this factory.

I love this factory.

[horror music]

[screams]

This is scary, isn't it?

Are you scared?

Of this piffle?

This isn't scary.

Nah, the fact it's boring.

I'm not even going to watch it.

I'm going to go to bed.

It's tedious.

Don't you want to know
what happens at the end?

It's predictable.

It's obvious.

I'm not interested at all.

It's just stupid,
tedious, rubbish.

Good night.

See you in the morning.

Stupid crap.

Boring and rubbish, damn.

[horror movie screams]

[horror movie sounds]

Oh!

[yawn]

Are you still watching
this, rubbish?

I just got up to get
a glass of water.

I suppose I might as well watch
the end of it while I'm here.

[jump scare music]

Ah!

[phone rings]

[scream]

[phone rings]

[phone rings]

[phone rings]

[phone rings]

Hello?

Tonight, you die.

Ha ha ha

[hangs up phone]

Frank, it was probably just
some kids playing a prank.

It's Friday the 13th.

That's the thing kids
will get up too..

You know, the little...

[scoffs]

Crazy kids.

Frank, Frank, Frank, wake up.

Wake up.
Wake up.

There's someone in the house.

They're prowling
around the house.

I heard them.

[ominous music]

Is there anybody there?

I'm warning you.

I know Jiu-jitsu,

Taekwondo,

and various other Oriental...

Words.

[thud]

It's coming from outside.

I'm going to have a look.

I'm going out.

I'll be back soon.

[door closes]

Frank.

If I don't make it ba.

Shh

Cole?

[door closes]

I love you, Cole.

[door closes]

Frank.

Love is a very strong word
for me.

[door closes]

Frank

I.

tolerate you.

See you.

[door closes]

Help!

Ahh! Ahh!

Help me!
Help me!

[screams]

Ahh help me!
Help me!

I had my finger caught you
idiot!

Didn't you hear me screaming?

[heavy breathing]

I'll just turn on the light.

No.

If it is a psycho,
Prowler, I don't want him

to know that I'm coming.

I'll be as quiet as a moose.

Don't you mean mouse?

Mooses are quite noisy.

They run around going,.

[moose sounds]

Shhh

I meant chocolate mousse.

It just sits in its
bowl quietly.

I'm as quiet as a mousse.

[thud]

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I think I'm okay.

Watch out behind you.

I've got you.

I've got him, Frank.

I've got him.

I've got him, Frank.

And guess what?

That's Mitchell.

Our next door neighbor.

Mitchell's the psycho prowler.

What are you doing prowling
around the flat, Mitchell?

I'm just coming home.

Yeah, coming home
from a night of prowling.

No, I was out with friends.

So there's a group
of you, prowling.

I'm not a Prowler.

I live here.

I am not a Prowler.

I...

Have never prowled

in my life.

All right.

But let me give you

a little warning, pal.

If you ever come around here
again,

and next time

you're not Mitchell,
and you are a prowler

I'll be waiting for you.

You just remember that.

Well, nighty-night, then.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Maybe next time you should try,
Tonight, You Die.

It's very good.

Ahh

Two can play at this game.

Yeah.

What game?

We should give that guy

a taste of his own medicine.

Yeah...

What's wrong with him?

Shut up.

Yeah

[car keys jingle]

I can have your attention,
please, sir.

This is the police.

Please step out of the car
and walk in a straight line

towards me.

Don't look back.

There is a psychopath
on the roof of your car

with a severed head.

Don't look back, sir.

Walk in a straight
line towards me.

That's it.

[thud]

[thud]

[laughing]

We got you.

What a beauty.

Ha ha ha ha

You believe this?

You believe this, Carl?

[car screech]

[scream]

[laughing]

Are you okay?

We got him a beauty.

Yeah heh ha ha ha
- He was so scared.

[laughing]

I think I've broken my back.

[laughing]

Mr. Maddox.

Mr. Maddox?

We just received the chemical
analysis from the lab,

and we think we've located
the cause of the contamination.

It seems that in all the jars
of peanut butter that

affected our customers,
we discovered traces of

the insect repellent, anti-ant.

Anti-ant?

Anti-ant?

[ladder clanking]

Frank, wake up.
Wake up.

I think there's
somebody in the house.

Seriously.

Cole.

Cole, go back to sleep.

No, seriously, I think
there's somebody in the house.

I'm sure that it's just
Mitchell coming home again.

[bang]

Oh! - Oh!

[dramatic sound]

[laughing]

Ah ha ha ha,
you nearly scared me then.

Don't you know what's going on?

[laughing]

It's the video shop guy
trying to scare us again.

Oh, scary.

That was good.

That was pretty good.

Wooh!

But really, pathetic.

[stab]

[laughs]

Oh, sorry.
Oh, ouch, ouch!

That's the worst fake knife
I've ever seen.

And that blood doesn't
look real at all.

But what happens?

Does the blood come out of the
handle when the blade retracts?

I can't get the
blade to retract.

Do you have to press
a button or something?

Or how does it work?

Can't find anything.

Can you have another go?

See...

Ow.

Ow, ohh that hurts.

[laughing]

Right, so what happened then?

When did you press the button?

Where is the button?

Is there a button there?

Actually...

It's starting
to hurt a bit now.

Mr.
Maddox!

What are you doing
with a fake knife?

I loved that factory.

[choking sounds]

[pillow hitting]

[wailing]

[maniacal laughing]

Ha! Wasp!

Oh, he didn't take it.

[grunting]

Oh.

Yeah.
Oh.

[buzzing sounds]

Ah oh!
Oh.

Oh.

Get off.

Now, stop.

[background crying out]

[clank]

[thump]

[door slam]

[running footsteps]

Oh, oh oh!

I've twisted my angle.

Frank, we've got to go.

It's no use, Cole.

I can't make it.

You'll have to go
home without me.

Okay.

Hey, hang on.

What?

You're meant to say,

No, I could never leave you,

for you are my friend.

Okay, let's try it again.

Ah!
It's no use, Cole.

I can't make it.

You'll have to go on without me.

No, I would never leave you,
for you are my friend.

I insist, Cole.
All righty.

But you were meant to...

[intense music]

[upbeat music]

[wind noise]

[upbeat music continues]

[crash]

[screams]

[wasps buzz]

[screaming]

[monster growling]

[monster continues growling]

[wasps buzzing]

Sorry have I,
come at a bad time?

[screaming continues]

He loved that factory.

Didn't he, Frank?

He certainly did, Greg.

Greg, Greg, Gregory Peck!

The actor guy, Gregory Peck!

[outro music]