02x09 - The Outlaw Bella Dawson

[bunniefuu]

- ♪

- You done with that?

- I am now.

- What the heck
is wrong with you?

- My pregnant mom has been
eating everything in the house,

so there's nothing
left for me.

Would you judge me,
if I drink this ketchup?

- Aw, sweetie.
[laughs] Yes.

- Ooh, look, it's Charlie.

Did you finally decide
to choose him over Zach?

- I haven't chosen anything.

Hi, Charlie.
- Hey, Bella.

My mom just sent me in
to grab our take-out.

- Do you know what?
You two talk.

I'll go check your order to make
sure, uh, nothing's missing.

- Ha, I'll go make sure
she's not the reason,

uh, something's missing.

- So, I got that
email you sent me,

but I couldn't
open the pictures.

- Oh, I just wanted your
opinion on which pose

would be the best profile
picture for my ClickPic page.

Here, I'll show you.
- Okay.

- The first one, I call
"Deep In Thought."

Then there's "Flirty Wink."

And the last one,
which is a bit unconventional,

"Cute Startled."

So, which one do you like?

- I don't know.

In each picture you look
amazing in a different way.

- Aw, that's so sweet.

Indecisive, but so sweet.

- Look at her--she's
totally giggle-flirting.

She's gonna pick Charlie.
Ya owe me five bucks.

- No way.
The bet's not over.

She could still pick Zach.

I mean, he did save her butt
at the Homecoming Dance.

Hey, here's the food.
- Thanks, girls.

Bye, Bella.

- Are you eating
Charlie's take-out?

- He won't miss it.

So, Bella, you and
Charlie, huh?

- Yeah, he's great.
Although...

- You still like
Zach, don't you?

- Yeah, kinda.
- I knew it!

You're gonna owe
me five bucks, Pepper.

- You guys bet on me?

And it was only five bucks?

- Five bucks is fair,
and it's gonna be mine

because Bella
is gonna pick Charlie.

He has a perfectly
symmetrical face.

When nature gives you
a gift like that, you take it.

- Oh, please, Zach's every bit
as cute as Charlie and you--

- Guys, stop.
So, I like two boys.

I don't have to make
a decision right this minute.

What's the rush?

- I told you she'd
never decide.

Pay up.

- ♪

- ♪ You won't find
me in the bleachers ♪

- ♪ Yeah that girl
is one of us ♪

- ♪ I'm made of spice
and sugar ♪

- ♪ She's pretty...
she's pretty tough ♪

- ♪ Then add
a little glitter ♪

- ♪ She off in
a cloud of dust ♪

- ♪ And you get...
you get... ♪

- ♪ A game changer,
play maker ♪

♪ Take the ball,
she'll see ya later ♪

- ♪ I'm on a dreamlike,
teamlike ♪

♪ Livin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ Play like Friday night

♪ Kickin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ One of the boys ♪

- All right,
listen up, kids.

Our bus is ready to take
us on our field trip

to Old Silverado.

A quick reminder.

A few other schools
are also participating

in Living History today,
so, please,

be on our best behavior.

Or, as they said
in the 1850s,

"No tomfoolery!"

All right, well, um,
let's head back in time.

Come on.

- This field trip
is going to be

the perfect distraction
from the Zach/Charlie debate.

- Hm, I'm not looking
forward to wearing

those old-timey costumes.

We're gonna look so stupid.

- Come on, we can make


- [fiddle music]

- I was wrong.

We look like the curtains
in my grandma's house.

- [horse whinnying]

- ACE: Whoa. Ah.

- Old Silverado Settlers,
you look fantastic.

Now, part of immersing
yourself in the past

is ignoring your
futuristic devices.

If you are caught using a phone,
or any other electronics,

the Sheriff, that's me,
[chuckling]

will take them and you will
be punished 1850s style.

- What if I listen to an mp3,
but it's a pioneer song?

- Ahhh...no.

Movin' on.

Now it's time to assign
the historical roles.

Now since Sawyer
is the spitting image

of our town's brave founder,

and America's premier
tumbleweed painter,

he will play Jonas Silverado.
- Woo! Starrin' role!

- And to play his caring,
devoted wife Abigail, um...

Sophie!
- Yippie ki-yay.

- Oh, who am I?

- Uh, you're Cousin Carol.

Yeah, you took ill with
cholera in the 1840s

and were never
quite the same.

- Oh.

- All right,
the rest of you,

follow me to the blacksmith's.
[claps hands]

- [cell phone vibrates,
text dings]

- Ooh, I got a message
from Charlie.

- Hey, Bella, it was good
running into you yesterday.

Every time that I see you,
I can't stop thinking about you.

So, I was wondering...

will you be my girlfriend?

There, I said it.

Okay. Bye-bye.

- OMG--the girlfriend
question.

This is huge!
- It is. It's amazing.

And confusing.
I also like Zach.

What do I do?

- Well, I mean, you might as
well choose Zach because--

- Okay, if you want five bucks,
I will give you five bucks.

- ♪

- Somebody looks nice.

Is that an angora sweater?

- Yep, it's Asha's
birthday today

and she likes a man
with hair on his chest.

Sadly, this is as close
as I could get.

I'm getting ready
to deliver her present.

- Ooh, what'd you get her?

- A gift card
to the Starcade.

- Ooh, no, no, no.

You can't get
her a gift card.

I mean, on your first date,
you took her out in a limo.

You can't just take
her to some pizza place.

That's a step back.
Don't do that.

- But Asha's not into
that fancy stuff.

And she likes the Starcade.

- I like toast, but I don't
want it for my birthday, man.

Step it up, okay?

A romantic guy like you
can do so much better.

- I don't know.
- Look, I just--

Pepper, we need a second
opinion on something.

For Asha's birthday,
Newt could go with

a gift card or--
- Or! Just go with "or."

Any "or" is better
than a gift card.

- But I thought
a gift card would--

- Oh, sweet, naive,
first-time boyfriend.

Birthdays are the ultimate
boyfriend test.

If you mess this up,

she'll dump you faster than
Niecy Johnson dumped Troy.

- Huh? Hold up.

We're not talking about Troy,
we're talking about Newt.

- But Asha's birthday
is today.

I don't have time
to get her a new gift.

- Newt, but you don't
have a choice.

Troy and I can help
you come up with ideas.

- Yeah. Don't worry, we'll find
something perfect for Asha.

- Really? That's so
nice of you guys.

- No problem. We can go
to lunch and brainstorm.

- Sounds good and you can
take us to the Starcade.

- Does this mean
I'm paying for it?

- Well, you do have
that gift card, so...

- SAWYER: Hey, Abby.
[laughing]

I love when
the cabin is clean,

the kids are fed
and my supper is ready.

I'll be on the porch
painting a tumbleweed.

[laughs]

- SOPHIE: [groans]

Do you know what's worse

than being the wife
of a lazy husband?

Being the mother
of his 13 children.

I have nine brothers,
and even my mom would be like,

"Whoa, Abby, slow down!"
[laughs]

Anyway, what's with
the chalkboard?

- I'm making two lists--

reasons I like Charlie,
and reasons I like Zach.

For instance, Zach is super
funny, so point for Zach.

And Charlie tries
to be super funny,

which is actually super sweet,
so point for Charlie.

Oh, I'm never
gonna figure this out.

- Bella, I'm sure you'll
make the right choice.

Now it's time for baby
Jebediah's bath--

in the creek, you know,
as if he's real.

- [neck squeaks]

- Bella?
- Zach, hi.

What are you doing here?

- My school's over in
the barn milking cows.

You know, I always
thought our locker room

was the worst smell
in the world.

Man, was I wrong.

Anyway, I'm supposed to deliver
this cream for butter churning.

- Oh, thanks.
Uh, hey, so...

I just wanted to say
I'm sorry about

what happened at Homecoming.

- No big deal.

You know, you and Charlie
make a great couple.

- Wait. Really?
Me and him?

- Yeah, you guys seem
good together.

- Oh, okay, uh...thanks.
- [cow mooing]

- All right, well, I'd better
get back to the milking barn.

That's Bessie's
"Where-ya-at" moo.

Honestly, I have no idea
what she's saying.

She's a cow, so...

- ♪

- Okay, how about for Asha's
birthday we get her...

a go-kart that looks
like a tank.

- Um, that sounds
like a boy gift.

- Not true. See?
The cannon is pink.

- Troy, I appreciate the help,
but Asha's birthday is today.

Nothing we order
would get here in time.

- Look, everything I'm showing
you has same-day delivery.

I know it's pricy, but spending
money on something extravagant,

but useless, is the best
way to show you care, man.

Now what's your
credit card number?

- Ignore him. Gifts don't
have to be expensive.

For instance,

I would be thrilled
if a guy wrote me a poem.

Or publicly declared
his love for me--

from a mountain top,
by yodeling--

♪ Yodel-ay, Pepper!

- Yeah, that's a bit much.

- Wait a minute, maybe there's
a way to combine

both of our ideas
into one supergift--

something fancy
and romantic.

- Uh-huh, uh-huh, or...
check it.

We could get her
an albino chinchilla.

Cute and expensive.
[laughing]

- Pepper, you were saying?

- [fiddle music]
- SOPHIE: [groaning]

Yeah, husband,
I just lugged this water

all the way from the creek.

Can I get a hand
with some of these chores?

- Sorry. I'm busy.

I just had to paint my missing
tumbleweed from memory.

- That looks like a rock.

- My next painting's
gonna be of my new wife.

- Is she gonna be
a rock, too?

- Sophie, I gotta tell
you what just happened.

- Walk with me. I gotta put
Jebediah down for his nap.

[straining, groaning]

- I just saw Zach
and he thinks

Charlie and I
are a perfect couple.

- Whoa. Are you okay
with that?

- Well, yeah.

He just made my decision
a lot easier.

I mean, I like both of them,
but if Zach doesn't like me...

- Then Charlie's the guy.
- Exactly.

I'm gonna be his
girlfriend.

- Oh, I'm so happy for you.
It's worth the five bucks.

But you're still gonna give
me the five bucks, right?

- I'm gonna text him now.

- Cousin Carol!

What did I say about the use
of electronic devices?

- Please, Mr. Savage, I just
need to send one text.

If I don't, Charlie will
think I said no,

and never talk to me again.

- I'm sorry, but it's 1850.

Boy drama hasn't
been invented yet.

- Neither has toilet paper.

I've been usin' leaves.

- [fiddle music]

- You were warned about using
your phone, Miss Dawson.

So, in accordance with


this is your punishment.

- But I didn't even get
to send the text--

possibly the most important
text I will ever send.

If I'm going to be punished,

shouldn't I at least get to
commit the crime, first?

- Actually, back in 1850,

you were pretty much guilty
until proven innocent.

Oh, those were the days.

I will let you out
in a half an hour.

- Sausage and biscuits!
- [gasping]

[quietly]
Sausage and biscuits?

Those are the two dirtiest
words in the 1850s.

Congratulations, you just
earned another hour, hmph!

- Hmph!

- Okay, Asha, stay here.
Oh, but face this way.

That's a better view.
- What's going on?

I have classes.

- [R&B music]

- [deep voice]
Asha baby,

I want everyone
here to know

how very special you are.

"A" is for "Australia,"

because that is
where you're from.

"S" is for how
"Sweet" you are,

my little honeybun.

"H" is for your "Heart,"

which grows bigger
every day,

and "A" is for "Amazing,"

in every single way.

- Newt, what are you doing?

- I'm showing you
how much I care--

which is why I got you
this expensive,

extravagant gift.

Happy Birthday
to my Ozzie dream bae.

- STUDENTS:
[quietly laughing]

- I need to go.

- That was a disaster.

- I don't understand.

If a boy did that for me,
we'd be eloping in Cancun.

- Yeah, I mean, Niecy Johnson
would have been all over that.

As a matter of fact...

Hey, man, you seen Niecy?

- [fiddle music]

- But it's not fair,
Mr. Savage.

He gets to kick back while
I do all the chores.

- I'm sorry, Sophie,
but historically-speaking,

men didn't do much
housework in 1850.

- Well, then, I wanna
be the man.

How about I play Jonas Silverado
and Sawyer can be Abigail?

- Excuse me?

- It would give us
a chance to see history

from a different perspective.

- Okay, Sophie, let's do it.
You and Sawyer, switch roles.

- Yes!
I'm the man now.

- What just happened?

- Get to work, woman.

- Oh, you got
busted, too, huh?

- Hey, Zach.
What are you in for?

- My teacher busted me
for playing a video game.

What'd you do? Rob a train?
sh**t the sheriff?

Ooh, punch a cow?

- I tried using my phone.
- Ooh, serious.

Boy, I thought I was bad.
You're a real outlaw.

- It is serious.

I have a really important
text to send to my--cousin.

- You know, I know how to

get your mind off
that phone problem.

How about we play
some "I spy"?

- Sorry, Zach,
I'm not in the mood.

- Okay, I get that, but you're
gonna like this one.

I spy with my little eye

something that will
haunt my dreams forever.

- Sawyer?!

- Don't...say...a word.

- ZACH & BELLA:
[laughing]

- That's a bummer
about your phone.

If we had it, you could
take a picture of Sawyer

and post it on ClickPic.

- I've actually been trying to
decide on a new profile pic.

Too bad the photos
are on my phone,

otherwise I'd show you.

- Show me anyway.
Just act 'em out.

- Okay.

The first one I call
"Deep In Thought."

Then there's "Flirty Wink."

And, finally, the wild card,
"Cute Startled."

So, which one's
your favorite?

- Well, uh, "Deep In Thought"

kinda looked like
you ate a bad burrito.

Uh, "Flirty Wink" looked like
you had a bug in your eye.

And, uh, "Cute Startled"?

It looked like you were about to
be eaten by a zombie. Ahhh!

- [laughing]

- Bella, you already
have a great smile.

Why don't you just do that?

There you go.

- Uh, maybe we should play
another round of "I spy."

I spy with my little eye...

Sawyer again.
- ZACH & BELLA: [laughing]

- It never gets old.

- Wait, Sawyer,
where's your baby?

- Oh, no, I left
Jebediah in the creek!

I'm a terrible mother! Oh!

- ZACH & BELLA:
[laughing]

- Hey, Newt, we're so sorry
we messed things up with Asha.

But we think
we have a solution.

We've written an apology note
on super fancy stationery.

- I should have trusted
my own instincts.

I'm gonna do this by myself.

Asha, I'm sorry.

I listened to
some bad advice

and things got
a little out of hand.

- Yeah, a little.

- Anyway, this was
my original gift.

I know it's not much,
and it's not that fancy,

but I thought you--
- I love the Starcade.

It's where we've had all
my favorite moments together--

like the time you stuck fries up
your nose like a walrus.

- I was actually trying
to stop a nose bleed,

but, uh, thank you.

- I'm sorry I ran out earlier.

Grand gestures
make me uncomfortable.

I like the small things
we do together.

- I'll try to remember that.

- But I did kinda
like the deep voice.

- [deep voice]
Oh, did you now?

- BOTH: [laughing]

- So, how did Niecy
like the necklace?

- Oh, she didn't.
- I'm sorry.

- It's okay. Kimberly did.
[laughing]

- [fiddle music]

- ♪ Rock-a-bye baby

♪ On the tree top

♪ When the wind blows

♪ The cradle will rock

♪ When the bough--
- Oh, hey.

I just came back from
a long, hard day

of painting a tumbleweed.

It looks great,
doesn't it?

- Sophie, my arms are burnin'
from all this churnin',

my bloomers are ridin' up,

and the womenfolk around here
say hurtful, hurtful things.

Please, help me.

- Oh, gosh, I would...

but I don't have to!

I love being
the man of the house.

- Silverado family,
gather around.

I have some very sad news.

On August 31st, 1850,
Abigail became ill.

- I did?

- Yes. She came down
with consumption.

Abigail was bedridden.

So, Jonas tended to her and took
on all the household duties.

- Oh, no.

- SAWYER: [sighing]

Oh, and a book, please?

Oh...
[chuckling]

You're a good man, Jonas.

- Mr. Savage, how much
longer is she gonna live?

- [fiddle music]

- Hummingbird? Eagle?
Pterodactyl?

Newt when he sees a spider?
- Yes!

See? I told you charades
would work in the stocks.

Who knew getting into trouble
could be this much fun?

- Yeah, you know,

I always have a lot of
fun hanging out with you.

- You know what?
I do, too.

- I just, you know, I hope
I helped get your mind off

that text you needed
to send to your cousin.

- What cousin? Oh, right.

You did. You really did.

- Uh-oh, my teacher's
looking this way.

- So what?

- Look, I lied.
I wasn't actually punished.

But if she sees me here,
I'm gonna fail.

- Hey, then why did you put
yourself in the stocks?

- I saw you get locked up

and thought you might need
someone to hang out with.

- Really?

- Also, I hate
the smell of cows.

Bye, Bella.

- All right, Miss Dawson,
time to head back to school.

- Ooh.
- Oh, and here.

I know how much you wanna get
back to your boy drama.

- Yeah, thanks.

- Hey, you, that's not what
those leaves are for, unh-unh.

- [sends text]
Hm.

- SOPHIE: Finally!

The day's over and I'm no
longer Sawyer's wife/husband.

- Oh, I got my phone back.

- Did you text Charlie that
you wanna be his girlfriend?

- No, I told him he's
a really great guy,

but it's not gonna work out.

- Whoa, what changed
your mind?

- I realized I had a way
better time today with Zach,

than I've ever
had with Charlie.

- Well, it sounds like
you made the right choice--

and not just because it makes
me five dollars richer.

But, seriously, when
are you gonna pay me?

I wanna buy a tumbleweed
from the gift shop.

Oh. Never mind.

- Wait, why do
you need a tumbleweed?

- That is none of
your business.

- [fiddle music]

- I'll have chicken fingers
and a mango smoothie.

- And for you?
- Check it.

[clears throat]
[deep voice]

I'll have two corn dogs,
a side of curly fries,

sweet potato, not regular,

and we want lots of
hot sauce all up in here.

- Whatever.

- I just love that
deep voice, Newt.

- Oh, don't worry, baby, there's
more where that came from.

[laughs]

[high-pitched screaming]
A spider! Asha, get it! Get it!

- ASHA: [smacks spider]

- [clears throat]

[deep voice]
That was cool, baby. Ha.

Very cool. Ha.

- ♪