02x13 - I Love You, Hunter Hayes

[bunniefuu]

- ♪

- I can't believe
it's only two days

until the Hunter Hayes' concert!

- We bought these
tickets a year ago.

Remember how much babysitting
we had to do to pay for them?

- I don't. I'm spoiled and my
parents give me whatever I want.

Sorry--inside thought.

- Guys, we're so lucky
he's coming to Silverado.

Hunter never performs
at small venues.

- If Hunter sings "21,"
I am going to die!

But if he plays
"I Want Crazy,"

I'm gonna come back
from the dead

just so I can
die all over again.

- BELLA & SOPHIE:
[squealing]

- Pepper, what are you
doing on your phone?

- I'm trying to find a way

to meet Hunter Hayes
after the concert.

Ace is finally putting
my interview show on the air,

but I don't have
any big-name guests.

- I'm sure Hunter Hayes
is a good guy,

but he's a superstar.

I don't think
he's gonna have time

for a middle-school TV show.

- [gasping]
What if you're right?

Then my show won't
get enough views

and then Ace will cancel it,

and I'll never be
the next Oprah, or Ellen,

or any other single-name
people powerhouse.

The only way I'll get on a talk
show is by being that lady

that brings all the exotic
animals and I--

- Pepper, breathe!

Actually, don't. We're seeing
Hunter Hayes this Sunday.

- We're cleanin' the field
this Sunday.

- What?
- Wait? This Sunday?

Don't you think you
should give us some notice?

- I did. Don't you all
read the team newsletter?

- We have a team newsletter?

- Well, that explains
why no one showed up

to help me move my waterbed.

- Ha. Yeah. That's why
no one showed up.

- This is a mandatory
team activity.

I expect to see you all
in here at 3:00 o'clock.

- But, Coach, I--
- Uh! Uh! Uh!

I don't wanna hear it.

That waterbed burst
in the stairwell.

It deserved better.

- ♪

- ♪ You won't find
me in the bleachers ♪

- ♪ Yeah that girl
is one of us ♪

- ♪ I'm made of spice
and sugar ♪

- ♪ She's pretty...
she's pretty tough ♪

- ♪ Then add
a little glitter ♪

- ♪ She off in
a cloud of dust ♪

- ♪ And you get...
you get... ♪

- ♪ A game changer,
play maker ♪

♪ Take the ball,
she'll see ya later ♪

- ♪ I'm on a dreamlike,
teamlike ♪

♪ Livin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ Play like Friday night

♪ Kickin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ One of the boys ♪

- I can't believe I have to
miss the Hunter Hayes concert.

This is the worst thing ever.

- Can't you skip
the clean-up?

You already practice
five days a week--

plus games on Saturday.
- So does everyone else.

- And who stays up all
night before games

to memorize
her motivational speeches?

- I can't just go in cold.

- And who wore a jockstrap

just to show the guys
she was one of them?

- That was above and beyond--

and totally uncomfortable!

You know what? You're right.

I give my heart
and soul to this team

and never ask for anything--

until now.

- Go get 'em, mama.

- Coach, I can't make
it on Sunday.

- Yeah, hold on.

The Hunter Hayes concert is no
excuse to miss a team clean-up.

Okay now,
what is your excuse?

- Well...it's definitely
not Hunter Hayes.

[laughing]
It's...

...my Nana's


- I find that hard to believe.
- But...but...

- Your Nana is turning 60?

She looks great
for her age.

Really great.
[chuckling]

- Ew!

- Well, you enjoy that party.
Uh, by the way, is your...

your Nana still
seeing that guy?

- You mean Grandpa?
- Oh?

- They've been married
for 37 years.

- Cool! That's cool.
[chuckling]

Good to know.

- ♪

- Hey, guys, thanks
for showing up.

- Did we have a choice?

- Nope, and thanks
for recognizing that.

Yeah, you three, go pick
up the trash on the field.

Troy, you got the bleachers.

And, uh, don't forget
that pile of

whatever it is
underneath them.

- What? The hairy
mystery mass?

Nah-unh, no way.

That thing growled
at me once, man.

- Good--so you're
familiar with it.

Uh, Sawyer, you're gonna be
scraping the pigeon poop

off the roof of
the snack shack.

- Poop? Aw, poop!

- And Newt.
- Please don't be gross.

Please don't be gross.
Please don't be gross.

- Uh, since Bella
won't be here,

why don't you take
over her task

of cleaning
the Port-a-Potties.

- No, not the doo-doo sheds.

- Wait, where's Bella?

- Oh, she's at her Nana's


Have you seen her grandma?
[chuckling]

She looks great for her age.
I mean great!

- ALL: Ew!

- You know, I don't remember
Bella saying anything

about her Nana's
birthday party.

- Yeah, she probably just
wants to get outta cleanin'.

- Guys, Bella's the most
dedicated player on this team.

She wouldn't leave us
without a legitimate excuse.

- Oh, so you're fine with
goin' in that Port-a-Potty?

- You mean I have to
clean the inside, too?

At least you guys'll
help, right?

I'm thinkin' if we split it up
and take turns, we can--

Guys?

Oh...

Oh!

It's worse than I thought!

- SOPHIE: Excuse me!
Sorry! Excuse me!

Move aside, please!

Can you believe
how close we are?

- Yes, you elbowed 50 people out
of the way to get up here.

- I don't feel bad.
I wanted it more.

- Bella, you made
the right decision

ditching the team for this.

- Yeah. Did I?

I'm starting to feel
a little guilty about

lying to Coach and leaving
the boys to clean up the field.

- Bella, you rocked
a jockstrap for this.

Now relax and enjoy it.
- Okay! I'll try.

- Hey, help me go over
my interview questions.

I stayed up all night
thinking these up.

Here's my first one.

Hunter, your fans
are desperate to know...

do you like nachos?
- SOPHIE: Uh...

- Really? That's
your first question?

- Yeah, that's my
interview style.

I toss them a softball,
then I go in for the k*ll!

- Ooh, what's your
k*ll question?

- Hunter, you've just gone
through a very public break-up.

How do you keep
a smile on your face

when the cold fingers of despair
are clutching at your heart?

Too much?

- Pepper, I know
he's a rockstar,

but just talk to him
like he's a normal person.

Play it cool.

- AUDIENCE:
[screaming, cheering]

- SOPHIE: I love you!
I love you! I love you!

- What's up, Silverado?

- AUDIENCE:
[screaming, cheering]

- Okay!

♪ Na na na na na na

♪ Na na na na na na


♪ Na na na na na na

♪ Na na na na na na

♪ Na na na na na na
- TROY: [screaming]

- ♪ Na na na na na na

♪ Well it's your birthday

♪ Let's act like it is

♪ And just go crazy

♪ Do what we want
with no reason why ♪

♪ Life ain't long enough

♪ So let's celebrate

♪ And get drunk
on good love ♪

♪ Remember what it's like
to dance all night ♪

♪ And we'll dance
all night ♪

- AUDIENCE:
[screaming, cheering]

- ♪ That's the way that
we're doing it, doing it ♪

♪ We go big
or we go back home ♪

♪ People looking at us

♪ Like we're losing it,
losing it ♪

♪ But baby we ain't
doin' nothing wrong ♪

♪ Gonna be up all night

♪ Chasing the sunrise

♪ Like we're wild and young

♪ Baby, kids on the run

♪ Gonna party like
we just turned 21 ♪

♪ Na na na na na na
- NEWT: [coughing]

- ♪ Na na na na na na
- [gagging]

- ♪ Na na na na na na

♪ Na na na na na na na


♪ Na na na na na na na

♪

- AUDIENCE:
[cheering, applauding]

- You still feeling guilty?
- Not at all.

- PEPPER, SOPHIE, BELLA:
[screaming]

- Okay, I have to
get that interview.

Here's the plan.

We'll show these VIP passes
to the security guard

and, boom, we're backstage.

- Whoa, where did you get these?
- I made them.

I copied them from
a picture online.

I matched the font,
color and size exactly.

These puppies could get
us into the White House.

Follow my lead and act
like you belong.

Here you go. White House.
- Huh, that's weird.

- What? What's wrong?
It's flawless.

- Well, your badge
isn't scanning.

It's supposed to have
a microchip in it

that makes the scanner beep.

- Oh, um, yeah, that...
that happened before.

Here, try mine. Beep!

- Beep!
- Beep?

- Sorry, girls, you're
not getting backstage.

Good work
on these, though.

You're a real artist.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome. Leave!

- SOPHIE: Oh, okay.

- Pepper, don't worry.

He wasn't back there anyway.

- How do you know?
- Because he's right there!

- Hey, Hunter, can I have
a quick word with you?

- I'm so sorry.
I can't even talk.

I think I cracked
my tooth.

- But I just have a few--
- You heard the man.

Now move along,
counterfeiter.

- Pepper, what
about your dad?

- Why would I want to
interview my dad?

He's not a rockstar,
he's a den--

My dad's a dentist!

This is my dad's card.
He's a really good dentist.

Please give it to Hunter.
- Yeah, I'll get right on it.

- And tell him I love him!

I love him! I love him!
I love him! I love him!

I love him! I love him!
[screaming]

- ♪

- ♪ That's the way that
we're doing it, doing it ♪

♪ Go big or go back--

Hey, guys.

- Oh, how was your Nana's
birthday party?

- Oh, um, yeah, it was...
it was great, a great time.

- Oh, sounds fun.

- Yep, just a normal party.

- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Was it anything like, uh...

this!

Boom! Just blew you up.
[laughs]

- You ditched the team
to go to a concert?

- How did you get this?

- Yesterday, when I was
cleaning the stench

of Port-a-Potty
off of my soul,

my stepmom Brenda texted
me from the concert.

She was there, too,
of course.

- Whoa, guys, I...
I can explain.

- Save it, Bella.
You lied to us.

- Yep, and we're
telling Coach.

Let's go.
- What?

Okay, please, you can't.

- And if you think
Coach'll be mad,

wait till Nana hears you
skipped her birthday party.

- Sawyer, just...

no.

- He spent seven hours
in the hot sun

cleaning bird poop while
you were on stage

shaking your rump
to the funk!

- Come on, guys,
you don't understand.

It was Hunter Hayes!

- Oh, Hunter Hayes!
It was Hunter Hayes!

That changes...nothing.

- Do you know what
Coach is gonna do

when he finds out
you lied to him?

He's gonna bench you.

- Come on, guys, all I did
was miss one silly clean-up.

- But you should
have been there, Bella.

It was a team event.

- A filthy, vile team event--

which I will be discussing
with my therapist

well into my forties.

- Have fun on the bench.

- Guys, I am so sorry
I missed the clean-up,

but please don't
tell Coach.

I'll...I'll do anything.

- Oh.

How about you do my biology
homework for me?

- Done!

- Clean out my ferret's cage.
- On it!

- And I need three dozen
cupcakes by tomorrow.

Make sure they're gluten-free,
sugar-free, dairy-free,

and also rich, creamy,
and totally delicious.

- I'm not sure
that's even possible.

But don't worry, I'm going to
totally make it up to you.

- TROY: Unh-unh-unh,
not so fast.

We are just getting started.

- You're gonna wanna
write these down.

Grab a pen, rump shaker.

- Hey, Silverstein,
how's that interview comin'?

Remember, you promised
me a big name.

- Don't worry, Ace.
I'm on it.

- Good. I'd hate to have to
cancel you after one episode.

But I will.

- Pepper, it's time
to face the facts--

you're not going
to get Hunter Hayes.

- I know.

But where am I gonna find
a cool musician at this point?

- Oh, here.
- Hey, girls.

- What? At least
he's a musician.

- Hey, Kenny, can I interview
you for Bulldog Network?

- Okay.
- Roll camera.

We're here with Kenny Ping,
musician and first chair oboe.

Kenny, do you like nachos?

- Well, my mom doesn't
let me eat cheese

because it enflames
my embouchure.

- Cut! Thanks, Kenny.

[sighing]
That was a disaster.

Ace is going to cancel me
before I even air.

- Wait, look at this!

Hunter just posted
a Click Pic

of the poster from
your dad's dental office!

- He must have seen
the business card.

If we leave now, I can
still get my interview.

- BOTH: [squealing]

- Hey, guys. Sawyer,
here's your homework.

I even did the extra credit.
- Thanks a lot.

Now they'll know
I didn't do it.

- Troy, the cage is clean.

I wish you had told me

your ferret had
a taste for human flesh.

- You actually did that?

Girl, that ferret crazy!

- And here, Newt,
I baked your cupcakes.

It was hard without
the dairy, and the gluten,

and the sugar.

And it took me three tries,
but I finally did it.

- Ugh, not quite there yet.

- You know, Bella,
you look tired.

Why don't you sit down?
- Thank you.

- And clean the mud
outta my cleats.

- Ooh, good idea.
Mine, too.

- But I already did
everything on your list.

So should that not
make us even

for me skipping the clean-up?

- Hm...
- Oh...

- That's a...that's
a good question.

I don't know.
Let's ask Coach.

See what he thinks.
Oh, Coach?

- Fine! I'll clean
your stupid cleats!

- Ooh, mine, too.

- Uh, no offense, Newt,

but how did your cleats get
muddy from sitting on the bench?

- Oh, that's not mud.

I just stomped all over those
lousy cupcakes you made.

Sorry. Power's not
a good color on me.

- Okay, that laughing gas

should have you
nice and relaxed.

Let me just test it out.
- All right.

- Knock-knock.
- Who's there?

- Interrupting dentist.
- Interrupting dentist...?

- [equipment whirring]

- See? Oh, 'cause...oh...

Looks like the laughing
gas is not working.

Let's just give it
a little more time to set in.

- All we have to do
is interview him

without him knowing
he's being interviewed.

So, keep it together
this time.

- Don't worry. It's
all outta my system.

- Hi, I'm your dental hygienist.
My name is Coco and she is...

- [giddy laughter]
Hi...

- Heidi.

- Aren't you a little young
to be a dental hygienist?

- [laughing]

Oh, you. I get that a lot.

I'm 31.

- Okay.

- Well, I guess we should
start off by flossing you.

- I'll do it!

All right, here it comes.

Open wide!

OMG!
- What are you doing?

- Uh, perhaps you'd
better skip the floss

and get right into
the questions.

- Questions?

- Yes, my associate will
be recording your answers

to ensure quality service--
a totally normal procedure.

How many times
a day do you brush?

- Twice.
- Um-hm.

Okay, okay, great,
uh, after your break-up,

how did you keep
a smile on your face

when the cold fingers of despair
were clutching at your heart?

- What's going on here?

You're...you're not really
a dental hygienist, are you?

- No, I'm not.
Either is she.

- I love you! I love you!
I love you! I love you!

I love you! I love you!
I love you! I love--

- Heidi!

- Can I get the dentist
back in here?

- Uh, wait, full disclosure.

My name is Pepper
and I'm your biggest fan.

I really need to
interview you

or I'll lose my show
on the school TV station.

- I'm happy to help.

Let's just get the tooth
thing fixed first.

- You'll do the interview?
- Yeah.

- I love you! I love you!
I love you! I love you!

I love you! I love--
Oooh!

- Fan girls. Am I right?

- ♪

- That's it. I have
finally finished.

- Unh-unh-unh. I can't
see my reflection.

- Look, I know it
was wrong of me

to go to the concert.

But at this point, you're just
taking advantage of me.

- Uh, yeah, that's
the whole point of this.

- NEWT, SAWYER, TROY:
[laughing]

- And we are just
gettin' started.

- That's it!

I'm telling Coach the truth
about why I missed the clean-up.

I don't care
if I get benched.

It's better than
being your sl*ve.

- Don't worry.
She's bluffing.

- But, dude, if she tells Coach
what we've been doing,

we could be in more
trouble than her.

- Come on, then.

Bella, don't bother Coach
with that thing.

He's a busy man.
- Quiet, guys.

Bella?

- Coach, I lied to you about
my Nana's 60th birthday party.

- I knew she looked
too good to be 60.

[chuckling]

- No.
[nervous laugh]

I mean it wasn't her birthday.

I went to the Hunter Hayes
concert instead.

I'm so sorry.

I should have never put myself
in front of the team.

I promise it'll
never happen again.

- I am very disappointed
in you, Dawson.

I'm glad you came clean,
even though it took you a while.

- Well, glad that's
all wrapped up!

See ya in practice, huh?
- COACH: Hold it!

Hold it!
[chuckling]

Do you guys have anything
you wanna tell me?

- No.
- Nope.

- Not at all.
- No?

Newt!
- [gasping]

- If you tell me the truth,
I'll go easy on you.

- Oh, please, what's
the worst you could do?

Bench me?
- TROY, NEWT, SAWYER: [laughing]

- I'll send you back
to the doo-doo sheds.

- Well, we found out Bella
lied about the concert

and we threatened to tell you
unless she did what we asked,

so she did Sawyer's homework,
got bit by Troy's ferret,

and...and made me
perfectly good cupcakes

which I stomped on because
I was crazed with power!

Who said that?

- Wow! Bella lied to me and you
guys used it against her?

This is shameful.

I should bench all of you.

- Coach, look, please
don't bench us, okay?

We'll do anything.
- Yeah.

- Anything?

- Gross. A hairy
chicken wing.

- I recognize that
from the tornado.

In a weird way,
it reminds me of Pepper.

Thanks.

- Uh, Coach, this isn't
a football trophy.

What's this for?

- The Argentine Tango.
- You dance?

- I've been known to.

- TROY: Oh!

- Coach, haven't
we been punished enough?

- Ace McFumbles here
with the world premiere

of our new segment--
"Silverado Scoop."

Pepper Silverstein,
take it away.

- Hello, Bulldogs,

I'm here with country
superstar Hunter Hayes.

Tell me, Hunter,
do you like nachos?

- [mouth full of cotton]
I don't really eat nachos.

- Interesting.

And what was your inspiration
for "Young and in Love"?

- Well, it's about how when you
fall in love with somebody,

and you're, you know,

and you have these
life experiences,

and it's just about...
[garbled]

- So, what do you think?

- I think your dad used
too much novocaine.

He totally numbed.

- Still, no one else
has this interview.

Ooh, this is
my favorite part.

- [mouth full of cotton]
♪ That's the way

♪ That we're doin' it,
doin' it ♪

♪ We go big
or we go back home ♪

♪ People looking at us

♪ Like we're losing it,
losing it ♪

♪ Baby, we're kids
on the run ♪

♪ Gonna be up all night

♪ Chasing the sunrise

- ♪