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01x57 - Tally-Ho Heathcliff/Cleo Moves In

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Heathcliff and the Catillac Cats". Aired: September 3, 1984 – September 30, 1985.*
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Each episode featured two segments, one being about Heathcliff and his friends, while the other featured The Catillac Cats.

01x57 - Tally-Ho Heathcliff/Cleo Moves In

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Heathcliff, heathcliff,
no one should ♪

♪ Terrify their
neighborhood ♪

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ Playing pranks
on everyone ♪

♪ There's a race
to be on top ♪

♪ The competition
doesn't stop ♪

♪ He's mixing
with the ladies fair ♪

♪ Being charming,
debonair ♪

♪ The king
will reign supreme ♪

♪ And no one
can deny-y-y-y ♪

♪ He'll make
a mystery ♪

♪ And always have
an alibi-i ♪

♪ So join in the jubilee

♪ The cats are great,
they'll all agree ♪

♪ You'll find them
in each calamity ♪

♪ The cat's superiority

♪ Oh o-oh o-o-oh o-oh

♪ O-o-oh oh
oh-oh o-o-oh o-oh ♪

♪ Heathcliff, heathcliff,
no one should ♪

♪ Terrify their
neighborhood ♪

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ You should realize

♪ He can win it with you

Ahh, the country life.

Away from the city,
away from the traffic
and noises,

Away from heathcliff.

Heath who?

You know who
I'm talking about, iggy.

Besides, a day
in the country
with heathcliff along

Would be about as enjoyable
as liver-flavored ice cream.

[Yawn]

The country life.

Fresh sunshine,
fresh air,
fresh fish!

But, grandpa,
heathcliff might
like to come along

For a day
in the country.

What heathcliff likes
and what heathcliff gets

Are 2 different things.

Besides, a spoiled
city cat like heathcliff

Couldn't make it out here
in the country. Ha ha ha.

[Gulp]

I think I'm
in trouble. Huh?

[Whistling]

Grandpa:
well, looky there.

A big one!

If we could only bring
this one home to grandma,

We'd have
a fish fry tonight.

Much as I hate
to disappoint grandma

When we get home
tonight,

I got to admit,
I'll never catch
that catfish.

Back in the old days,
I could have caught

That fella
with my bare hands.

That fish must be as
old as you, grandpa.

I'm not old,
I'm--i'm mature.

But in the old days,
well, that's another story.

Back then, you had
to be tough to survive.

Life was hard then.

In those days,
nothing came easy.

Even easy chairs
were hard.

Well, so much
for the appetizer.

I wish the old guy
would pipe down
and catch some fish.

Shh, iggy, quiet.
Got one!

It's not the big guy,
but it's a good fish
anyway.

Ooh, I'm sure
glad we left

That glutton heathcliff
at home with grandma.

Ah, if he saw this fish,

The only thing left for
us would be the bone.

Heathcliff!

Iggy, I told you
we didn't come here

To spend the whole day
watching out for heathcliff.

We came here to get
some peace and quiet.

We came here to fish.

And that's exactly
what I'm gonna do.

That's not what I mean.

You're not going
to eat my fish.

Heathcliff.

If anybody has
a sit-down dinner
with this fish,

It's gonna be me.

[Whistling]

At last. Now we'll have
some peace and quiet.

[Horn blows]

[Horn blows]
[horse neighs]

Yokel!

[Growling]

Dogs, huh?
If I can't have fish,

At least I can
have some fun.

You and your shortcuts.

"Meet me at
the back gate," you say.

"It's so much quicker,"
you say. Well?

Coming, dear.

These dogs are not
gonna make a lot
of noise, are they?

Not likely, old chap.
We start the hunt up there.

And the hounds wouldn't
be a bother, I assure you.

[Ruff ruff ruff]

[Chuckles]

You can tell
these 3 bullies

Have never been out
of the barnyard before.

Hey, what's this?
A pussycat.

He's lost, huh?

Hey, you're way
off limits, city kitty.
Ha ha ha.

[Yawns]

How do you
like that?

Bunch of
local yokels.

Going somewhere,
pussycat?

Still wearing your bib
for din-din?

Prissy, ain't he?
Ha ha ha.

Maybe you better
go back to town
where you'll be safe.

It's kind of rough
out here in the country.

I came here
for fresh air,
not hot air.

What?
What did you say?

I think we got us
a wise guy here.

Now ain't you
a dandy.

A real witty kitty.

Ha ha ha.
A witty kitty.
Ha ha ha!

Witty kitty!witty kitty.
Ha ha ha.ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha.
You think that's funny.
Wait till you see this.

Congratulations.
You just fell

For the oldest trick
in the book.
Ha ha ha.

Ta-da!

[Barking]

Time for your bath,
meatball.

Yikes!

Yokel, isn't
there something
you have forgotten?

Oh, the fox.

[Whimpering]

It's a baby fox.

Grandpa!

Don't come crying
to me, kid.

This is the country.
It's rough out here.

You gotta be tough
to survive.

[Whimpering]

What are they doing
with this fox?

It's a sport, iggy.
A sort of game.

They take the fox
to the country,

Open the box,
and let him run,

And the dogs
chase him.

But, grandpa,
that fox is just a puppy.

[Whimpering]

Grandpa:
leave the poles iggy.

Maybe we'll get lucky
while we eat lunch.

Quiet, heathcliff.

We've already
had enough noise
out of you today.

No fish, no mice,
no frogs, no noise,

No fun!

Not even a garbage can
to kick around.

[Dogs barking]

Let's get
out of here, iggy.

Those dogs are in
a dangerous mood.

[Dogs barking]

I got it!

Nope, but you're
gonna get it.

[Growls]

I know dogs love
to dig holes,

But you're in
over your head,
dummy. Ha ha ha.

[Growling]

Now I'm gonna go
turkey fishing.

[Ruff ruff ruff]

[Ruff ruff ruff]

End of the line,
turkey.

Here,
gobble on this.

And now
to reel him in.

[Growling]
oops,
another turkey.

Don't like
the water, huh?

Sissy doesn't want
to get wet again, hey?

Bon voyage,
bonehead.

Bombs away!

Heathcliff: bull's-eye!

Now where was i?

Oh, no,
not you again.

You saved me.
You're my hero.

Aw, quit kissing me!

Ooh, mushy,
mushy, mushy!

Hey, he got
a sweetheart.
Sweetie!

Ain't they
a cute couple?
Kissy, kissy.

Kissy, kissy,
sissy, sissy.
Ha ha ha.

Isn't there anything
I can do to thank you?

You're embarrassing me,
fox.

Heathcliff,
how can you be so mean?

My fish!
You ate my fish!

You're in trouble
now, heathcliff.

And you're in trouble,
too, iggy.

You're the one
who brought him along.

Oh, it's just
a dumb fish.

I didn't mean to get
the kid in trouble.

[Dogs barking]

The little fox.
All those dogs
are gonna get him!

Oh, don't! Ooh!
Aah! Ooh! Yeow!

Messed up
that fox hunt.

Messed up
my peace and quiet.

Messed up my fun.

Messed up my fish?

Wait until grandma
sees what I caught!

Boy, heathcliff,
that fox got us out
of trouble with grandpa

And took care
of those dogs, too.

That's 'cause
he outfoxed them.
Ha ha ha.

Aw, cut it out.
Ha ha ha.

Very suspicious.
Yep, that's the place.

And there's some of
those critters now.

Have I got
a surprise for them.

Uh-oh, the heat's on.

You guys
hang out here.

I got a very important
question to ask cleo.

Halt!
No pets allowed!

This building
is on the list.

I got orders
to clear out
all animals or else.

Uh, who's there?

Just me, bush.
Cool it!

[Snoring]

[Whistling]

Cleo?





Ah, there you are,
my sweet.

Just trying to get some
music going here, riff.

How's it with you?

May be trouble.

I got an important
question to ask you.

What is it,
riff raff?

The guy from
the animal shelter...

He's got this place
staked out.

It ain't safe
for you here.

I mean,
you need somebody
to watch over you.

So, what's your point?

So I think you
oughta move over
to the junkyard.

Hmm, I'll think it over.

Later.

It would be nice
having her here.

I wouldn't
have to go out
chasing around

For intelligent
conversation.

There. This oughta
warn them.

No pets allowed.

No pets!
Oh, no!

Riff raff.
Sure. We can
go to the dump.

Huh? What?

We gotta get
out of here

Before they
take us off to
the animal shelter.

Animal sh-sh-shelter!

[Crash]

That's more like it.

Farewell, fine store.

We're off to a new life
at the...

[Gulp]

Junkyard.

As long as
this sign is here,

You can't come back.

Riff raff:
who goes there?

It's me, riff.
I'm taking you up
on your offer.

You took me up
on my offer? Great!

Bush and I are here.
We're moving in.

Bush? What the--

Gee, thanks, riff.

Well, a few things here,

A little curtain
there.

This is great.
I'll take it.

Great!

Hmm. Yeah, listen,
I'll just settle in
while you're moving.

Moving? You gotta
mean moving you in.

No, I mean you
are moving out.

This isn't quite
what I planned.

No use waking the guys.

We'll work things out
in the morning.

[Snoring and whistling]

[c*ck-a-doodle-doo]

[All snoring]

[All gasping]

Whoa!

Whoa!

Cleo!

All: what gives?

What gives is
I'm moving in,

And this place needs
a good cleaning.

But, cleo, baby.

[Glub glub]

Perhaps she's right.
Let's give it
a try, guys.

What's to clean?
This is a junkyard.

Junk is
where it's at,
and we dig that!

Besides, mungo sleepy.

[Yawns]

First we work,
then we sleep, mungo.

Ok, let's hit it!

Hup, 2, 3, 4.

Hup, 2, 3. 4.

Make a break
out the gate.

Head 'em off
at the pass, bush.

[All gasping]

All: whoa!

All: whoa!

Anybody get
the license number
of that truck?

Now, get busy!

All of you!

[Squish]

[Squish]

Rinse!

[Yawns]

Thanks,
I needed that.

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh!

Whoa!

Ha ha ha ha.

Wordsworth, hey!

Yeow!

I'll just take 40 winks
until cleo baby

Gets over her
fastidiousness fit.

[Snoring and whistling]

Wait a minute.
No slackers here.

Cleo wouldn't like that.

What? Uh-oh. Yeow!

That's the spirit, riff.
You deserve a treat.

A treat?

Yeah, remind me to
give you one later.

I've created
a monster!

Hey there, riff.
You're looking sad.

You're out in the cold
and she's in your pad.

Looks like we have
all been had.

Cleo, what's
going on in there?

Cleo:
I'm doing my nails.

She's just doing
her nails. That's all.

Oh, no.

Look, she's got
all our clothes
in the washer.

Guess again,
bean brain.

That's the
trash compactor.

In the washer,
I've got your hubcaps.

If in doubt,
throw it out.

She can't
tell the junk

From the real junk
we wanna keep.

Your girlfriend or not,
we've had it!

You got that right.
I'm real uptight.

Uh, let me
talk to her.

Just in time,
mungo.

Take this out
and have it
cleaned and burned.

Huh?

Oh, whoa!

Whoa!

All: aah!

That's it. I quit.

She made a mess
of our mess.

Either she leaves
or we do.

Hey, leroy,
what's the problem?

Her. And if you don't
get rid of her, me.

Gotcha.

I got a plan.

Get the guys
to meet us
at the music store.

[Whispering]

Sounds good.

[Mumbling]

Yeah, do it.

What?

[Tires skid]

Hey!

Hey, you, get off
of my truck!

Make it fast,
riff raff.

Got it.

That's odd.

I'd swear this was
on the no pets list.

I guess not.

Well, orders
is orders.

He bought it.

Now pets are allowed
in the music store.

Now cleo can
live here again.

And we go home.

Let's get back
to the junkyard

While we still
got some junk left.

Our junkyard,
it's...

It's clean!

And look at
our machine.

Uh, I think
I'm gonna cry.

[Crying]

There, there, mungo.
We'll have it
trashed out in no time.

Oh, cleo.

Your music store
is safe now.

You and bush
can go back.

I'm not sure
I want to.

I've kind of grown
to like this place.

Just what I was
afraid of.

[Whistles]

Yeow!
Yeow!

Yeow!
Yeow!

I guess I can
take a hint.

Come on, bush.
Let's get back
to civilization.

Ahh, clean living
is so rewarding.

Heathcliff here with a good tip
on training your dog.

Come here, hamlet. Heel.

Dogs naturally crave affection
and praise.

If your dog doesn't obey your
commands,

Simply withhold your praise and
affection until he does.

Ok hamlet, heel.

Good boy. Aren't you a good boy.