02x10 - Heathcliff's Mom/Hockey Pucks

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heathcliff, heathcliff,
no one should ♪

♪ Terrify their neighborhood

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ Playing pranks on everyone

♪ There's a race to be on top

♪ The competition
doesn't stop ♪

♪ Mixing with
the ladies fair ♪

♪ Being charming, debonair

♪ The g*ng will reign supreme

♪ And no one can deny-y-y-y

♪ They'll make dump history

♪ And always have
an alibi-i-i ♪

♪ So join in the jubilee

♪ The cats are great,
they'll all agree ♪

♪ Find in each calamity

♪ The cats' superiority

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh

♪ Heathcliff, heathcliff,
no one should ♪

♪ Terrify their neighborhood

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ You should realize

♪ He can win it with you

I don't really enjoy this,
but it's expected of me.

Ah, just the man
I been waiting for.

Huh?

Boy, the nutmegs are
sure drinking a lot of milk.

[Slurp]

Works every time.

I think a little breakfast
is in order.

[Sniff sniff]

Mmm.

It's gourmet
cat food.

Grandpa bought it
for you.

[Kiss kiss]

Get off me.
I bought it by mistake.

They put that stuff
next to the cheap kind
I usually get you.

[Slurp]

[Sniff sniff]

[Slurp]

This isn't a bad place
to live. Ow!

Hey! There's a note
on this.

[Offscreen]
I'm sorry.

But this is as close
as I get when I deliver
messages to cats.

Who could be sending me
a message airmail?

Woman: dear son,
I am coming for a visit

And will be arriving by train
this afternoon.

Yay! My mom's
coming to visit!

Woman: I'm anxious to see
the huge mansion you live in.

Love, mom.

The huge mansion?

[Gulp]

That's right. I told her
that I lived in a mansion.

What am I gonna do?
I don't even know
anybody who lives in--

[Snap]

Oh, yes, I do.
Sonja!

Sonja: now, let me see
if I've got this right.

You want
to convince your mother
that you live here

Because you lied to her?

Yeah. That's
basically it.

I'll help you
on one condition.

Anything.

Before she leaves,
you tell her the truth.

Anything but that.

All right,
all right,
I'll tell her...

After she
gets settled.

Good. And remember,
don't let jeeves see you.

No problem.

Woman: heathcliff!

Oh, my dear mommy!

Oh, spike will ruin
this for sure.

Hey, come on, mom.
Let's go.

Whew! What was that
all about? Oh!

Well, you see--aah!

Whew!

Here we go again.

This way, mom.
It's a shortcut.

Woo! Sometimes, son,
you remind me a lot
of your father.

Just follow me, mom.

Mom: oh! Heathcliff!

I told you
to follow me, mom!

I want you to see
the real city, mom.

Oop!

I bet they expect
some kind of explanation.

What's this all--

Heathcliff:
muggers, mom! Run!

Heathcliff:
come on, mom.

We just have to
slide down this ladder

And we'll be home
in no time.

Mom: this sure is
a strange way to get
home, heathcliff.

You know, heathcliff,
you've been acting
very strangely.

It's almost
as if you were trying
to avoid someone.

Well, mom, when you're
rich like me,

Someone always wants
something from you.

I just thought
I'd spare you all that.

Oh, I'm glad
to hear that.

I was afraid that
now that you're rich,

You were ashamed
of your old mother.

Actually, mom, there's
something I've been
meaning to tell you.

Sonja!

Uh, mom, I'd like
you to meet sonja,
my personal maid.

Personal maid?

Nice to meet you,
sonja.

I hope you're taking
good care of my boy.

Oh, I'd like
to take care of him.

Why don't we go
in the house.

Heathcliff,
your house is
just beautiful.

I'm glad you like it.

I thought you might like
to show your mother
your room.

My room? Uh, yeah, myroom!
Right this way, mom.

Isn't that jacket
a little big for you,
heathcliff?

Mother dear, that's
the style this season.

Sonja,
be a good little maid.

Run downstairs and get
mother and I a cool drink.

Whatever you say,
heathcliff.

[Under breath]
don't push it, mister.

[Gulp]

Whew. Good help is
so hard to find.

"Good little maid."

Huh?

Oh, no!
It's the real maid!

If she sees heathcliff,
we're finished!

I think you
should show your mother
the yard now, heathcliff.

I don't want to
go out in the yard!

[Gulp]

Uh-oh. The maid!

Hey, mom, look at
this great closet!

No, no. Not in there.

No!

Heathcliff!

Come on, mom!

Mom, isn't this
a great view
out here?

Hmm. That was
a close one.

At least
it wasn't jeeves.

Jeeves!

Jeeves! Come on, mom!
I want you to see
the yard now.

Jeeves:
what is going on here?

No time to chat.

Here, mom,
let's take a shortcut.

Yah!

Woo!

Not a bad ride,
huh, mom? Uh-oh.

Why are you doing this
to me, son?

Uh-oh.
How does he do that?

Come on, mom.

I think now would be
a good time to see
the rest of the house.

This is getting
ridiculous.

Quick, in here!

Heathcliff,
why are we hiding
from the butler?

Oh, uh, we're not
supposed to associate
with the help.

I was afraid
you had become a snob,

And now I'm convinced!

Mom, there's something
I've got to tell you.

This is really
sonja's house.

You must be
an awfully good maid

To afford
this place.

Mom, sonja's not a maid,
and I don't live here.

I just made that up
so you'd be proud of me.

Heathcliff, I would
be proud of you

If you lived in
a cardboard box.

[Kiss]

Boy: bye!

It was nice meeting you.

Come back again soon!

You should have told me
the truth all along.

You live with
a wonderful family.

Maybe that's
because I come from
a wonderful family.

Ha ha ha!

[Wind blowing]

Duh, let's go, guys.
It's time to hit the ice.

Hector: we must be crazy
letting riff raff
talk us into this.

What do we know about
playing hockey anyway?

Riff raff wants
to impress his date,

So the catillac cats
have got to skate.

The stuffing from this couch
will do its bit

To ease the pain
if we get hit.

I don't know why
I'm so worried about my head.

Anyone with a brain
wouldn't play against
the catastrophe cats.

Yeah. It's not whether you win
or lose that counts, hector.

It's the thrill
of competition.

It's the joy of getting out
and doing something

So you can enjoy
the wonder of winter.

Mungo: it's--

Ooph! Gee, guys,
that's not nice.

Wrong, mungo.

Freezing into ice cubes
and being happy about it
is not nice.

Riff raff:
save that energy
for the game, team.

Hey, boss.
You look great.

All for one
and one for all.

Catastrophe cats,
heed our call.

[Clink]

[Organ plays]

Ouch!

Whoa!

[With french accent]
great shot, grant.

[With french accent]
all my shots is great.

Did you see my shot,
cleo, baby?

You're wonderful,
grant.

And your
about-to-be
ex-buddy

Is going to find out
exactly how wonderful...

If he's brave enough
to even show up
for the game.

Slow down, hector.

Yeah, hector.

Whoa!
Whoa!

Is everyone
all right?

Hector: barely.

Yeah. Mmm. Mmm.

Looks like
your runt friend

Was dumb enough
to show up.

Hey, cleo. Cleo!

Whoops. Hee hee!
Sorry, riff raff.

[Thud]

Grant: you kidding,
pretty face?

That ain't nothing compared
to what's about to happen
to that squirt.

Yeah? Well, put your sardines
where you mouth is, you--

Now, now. We're all
out here for fun,
not for fighting.

So everybody
hit the ice.

Heh heh heh.

We'll help these clowns
hitthe ice, won't we, guys?

Heh heh heh. Yeah.
We'll make sure they
hit it--real hard.

Just don't forget
the deal, grant.

The loser stays away
from cleo.

With me around,
she won't miss you at all.

[Laughter]

We can't beat them.
They're too big.

Yeah. And they're
not very nice.

But we got
a secret weapon.

Slice some ice, whiz.

They may be big
and may be mean,

But this cat here
is a skating machine.

Hot sardines on a stick!

Get you hot sardines
right here.

When I drop the puck,
the clock will start running.

When the hand points
straight up again,
the game is over.

No cheating
and no rough stuff.

Just have fun. Ok?

We'll be gentle,
sweetie face.

We're gonna have
lots of fun.

Good. Then...start!

Whoa!

[Crash]

Come back here,
you skinny cat!

Oh!

I'm impressed,
riff raff!

You hear that?
Cleo's impressed.

Ow!

[Crash]

Riff raff: who turned out
the lights?

Whoa!

Are you all right,
wordsworth?

I-i-i'm ok, b-but through
f-for t-today.

You quit, you lose.

See if you can warm him up.
Come on, guys, we can do it.

Yeah. 3...

Against 4?

I admire your courage,
riff raff,

But maybe
you should quit.

The cadillac cats
never quit!

Hooray!
Yay!

Hooray!
Yay!

Oh, wordsworth,
please warm up in time.

Oh! I hate cats!

[Yelling]

[Yelling]

[Sizzling]

Yeow!

Yeow! Ooh!

Oh...

You've got to
warm up fast,
wordsworth.

The game's
almost over.

Huh?

Oh!

[Shivering]

At least we tried
our best, cleo.

You sure have,
and it's not over yet.

Ahh...

Huh?

Huh?

Ah!

That's the last straw!

I've had it with you
sissy cadillac cats!

Sissy?

Sissy?

How dare you?

Go, cadillacs!

Ooh!

You dolts shouldn't call us
sissies, you know.

You shouldn't cheat,
either...

'Cause when you do,
you're gonna get
beaten good.

Guard the goal cage!

Whoops!

Riff raff,
it's your time,

And the game's
on the line.







Two, one!

All right!
We beat the catastrophe cats!

[Crowd cheering]

Riff raff:
all right, you guys!

All right,
cadillac cats!

[Cheering]

Wordsworth:
all right, cadillac cats

Impressed with
the cadillac cats now, cleo?

I'm always impressed
with you, riff raff.

Always.

[Kiss]

Pets just shouldn't play with
toys made for children.

They're too rouch with them.

It's not only that they might
break the toy,

But they could also hurt
themselves.

Pets should play with pet toys.

Here's a good example. This toy
is designed for the kind

Of rough treatment it will get
from a pet.

Heathcliff!
I'm home!

Well, I gotta go now.