02x13 - Spike's Coach/The Trojan Catillac

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heathcliff, heathcliff,
no one should ♪

♪ Terrify their neighborhood

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ Playing pranks on everyone

♪ There's a race to be on top

♪ The competition
doesn't stop ♪

♪ Mixing with
the ladies fair ♪

♪ Being charming, debonair

♪ The g*ng will reign supreme

♪ And no one can deny-y-y-y

♪ They'll make dump history

♪ And always have
an alibi-i-i ♪

♪ So join in the jubilee

♪ The cats are great,
they'll all agree ♪

♪ Find in each calamity

♪ The cats' superiority

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh

♪ Heathcliff, heathcliff,
no one should ♪

♪ Terrify their neighborhood

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ You should realize

♪ He can win it with you

[Whistling]

Oh, no!

[Teeth chattering]

[Gulp]

I'd better get
out of here.

If heathcliff sees me,
I know he's going
to want to fight.

[Panting]

Unh!

[Grunting]

Ow! Oh! Unh!

Whoa!

[Crash]

Ohh...ohh...

Ohh...

Boy, that was
a close one.

What am I doing?

I'm always
running away
from heathcliff.

Grrr!
This is ridiculous.

No more running away.
It's time to take
the bull by the horns.

This time,
I'llstart the fight.

Unh!

Grrr!

Oof!

Grrr!

Yaaah!

Aah!

Take that, heathcliff!

Huh?

Ohh!

Hey!
Get off my back!

[Grunting]

Ride 'em, heathcliff!
Hee hee hee!

Ohh...ohh...

I love
playing rodeo!

Aw, come on, heathcliff.

Don't leave me here!

You are pitiful.
Where's your
canine pride?

Who are you?

The name
is albert.

Well, albert, that--
that was no ordinary cat.

That was heathcliff.

So that
was heathcliff.
I've heard of him.

He loves beating up
dogs, doesn't he?

Well, it's
about time someone
taught him a lesson.

What you need is
a plan, and I'm just
the one to help you.

With my brains
and your brawn,

We can take care
of that cat

Once and for all.

Uh, I don't know.

Heathcliff
is pretty tough.

But we're dogs!
Cats aren't supposed to
push dogs around.

What do you say?
Let's get heathcliff.

Get heathcliff?

What's the plan?

Meet me here
in the morning,
and I'll tell you.

Oh, boy!

I'm finally going to
get heathcliff.

Hey, where'd he go?

[Grunting]

Good morning,
albert!

You're late.
We've got a lot to do.

Now, carry that box
over by the trees.

[Grunting]

[Panting]

I wonder
how he got it here.

Now, put it here
and unload it.

[Panting]

What are you going to
do with all this stuff?

We are going to
get heathcliff.

Now, here's the plan.

Now, all you have to do
is get heathcliff

To follow you
between these trees.

Then you jump
over that wire.

When heathcliff
hits the wire,

The gloves will come out
and hit him on both sides
at the same time.

You're going to
get it now,
heathcliff.

♪ Doo doo doo doo doo

Spike: hey!
Fuzzball!
Heathcliff!

Oh, sounds
like spike--unh!

Mmm! Banana cream.

[Slurp]

Ha ha ha!

He never learns, does he?

[Panting]

I hope I make it.

You're going to
get it now, heathcliff.

[Meowing
fiercely]

Ta-da!

Uh, by the way, spike,
I prefer apple pie.

Hee hee hee!

Heh heh heh!

Huh?

Hey! Come back here!

This thing doesn't work!

Owww!

It looks like
it works fine
to me.

Grrr!

Relax. I have
another idea,

And this one's
even better than
the last one.

I hope so.

Ok. Now,
just throw it
over that branch.

Why did I have to
climb up here?

Just throw the rope
over the branch.

Whoa!

Aah! Whoa! Aah!

[Crash]

Good work, spike.

Grrr!

Now, this time,
I'llget heathcliff.

When I bring him
back here,

I'll get him to stand
inside the rope.

Then you pull
on this end of it,

And he'll be hanging
by his foot
from that tree.

Heh heh heh!
My own heathcliff
punching bag.

Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah!

Ooh! Ah!

Ouch!

It's just
that this experiment

Requires an extremely
intelligent cat.

Well, you've come
to the right place.

Perfect.

[Loudly]
let's begin
the experiment.

[Grunting]

[Louder]
let's begin
the experiment.

I said, let's begin
the experiment!

Uh, excuse me
for one moment, please.

Why do I get involved
with dogs?

What's
the problem?

The rope won't move.

I can't wait
around here all day.

Ok. You go out
there and stay
with heathcliff,

And I'll see
if I can fix
the rope.

Wait a minute, heathcliff!
Come back!

Aah!

Ok, spike!
I think
I've fixed it!

Grrr!

But it's
too heavy!
I can't hold it!

Aah!

[Crash]

Now, I'll take
this cage

Up to the roof
of the fishmarket.

All you do
is get heathcliff
to stand here,

And I'll drop
the cage on him.

Then we throw
the cage on a truck
that's leaving town,

And we'll be rid
of heathcliff for good.

This better work,
albert. I'm taking
a worse beating

From you than
from heathcliff.

Don't worry about it.
This plan can't fail.

Can't fail. Yeah.

Just like
all the other plans.

Uh-oh. Here comes
heathcliff.

Albert, you ready?
He's coming.

All ready up here.

Hi, heathcliff.

I wish he'd hold still.

Haven't you had
enough, spike?

No, no, no.
I--i don't want to fight.

I just want
to ask you something.

Well,
make it quick.

I have something
to pick up at
the fishmarket.

Hee hee hee!

Oh, this--
this won't take long.

We've got you now,
heathcliff.

Ohh!

Yaah!

If you're going
to ask me

About your
new hat, spike,

I don't like it.
Hee hee hee!

That little dog
has had it!

Albert:
did we get him?

Where is he?
Uh-oh.

Aah!

Spike: grrr!

Ooh! Aah!
Ooh! Whoa!

That's what I get
for trying to help.

Gee, that looks
like spike's hat
on that truck.

Hee hee hee!

Hee hee hee!

Man: this is
nevada worthless,

And this is
my worthless hog.

So come on over.
Hey, we got cars

Of every color,
size, and age.

Those cars look
good enough to eat.

Yeah. Mungo hungry.

[Slurping]

Nevada: ...checkers.
Come on in and meet my pet.

Hey, we take any car
as a trade-in.

Come on in and enjoy
our free smorgasbord.

Huh?

Huh?
Huh?
Huh?

Come on in and pig out
with a pig.

Hector:
that's the first
real food

I've looked at
in days.

What are we waiting for?

[Tires screeching]

So come on in and meet
my pet kangaroo checkers.

All customers
can help themselves
to my smorgasbord.

[Starts engine]

Cut! Take it
from the top,
nevada.

This is nevada worthless
and my kangaroo checkers

Telling you we take
any car as a trade-in,

No questions asked.

All customers
can help themselves
to my huge, free--

What's going on?!

Who let them
moochers on the lot?
Get them, checkers!

Uh, here.
Have some cake.

Yow!

Oh!

That kangaroo has
no sense of humor.

I said I hadn't
had a bite in days,

So he bit me!

Yow!

Oh!

We know when
we're not wanted.

I'd be full
of gratitude

If he'd change
his attitude.

Riffraff: the map
is crystal clear
on this.

If we take
the sewer route--

[Slurping]

Uh, mungo hungry.

We can get to the car lot
undetected.

According
to my calculations,
we should surface

Right under
the smorgasbord table.

I know
they're around here
somewhere, checkers.

Director:
come on, nevada.

We still have tonight's
commercial to sh**t

Before
the cheeseballs melt.

Hi, folks.
This is nevada worthless

And my pet alligator
checkers.

All customers can help
themselves to my huge,
free smorgasbord.

Huh?

Wha--

As a wise man,
uh, once said,

Time is money,
and, uh--ooh!

Cut!

I've been smorgasborded.
Checkers!

Grrr!

Heave! h*!heave! h*!

Heave! h*! Heave! h*!

Heave! h*!heave! h*!

This is almost
too easy.

Yeah, like taking candy
from an alligator.

Alligator?!
Alligator?!alligator?!

Aah!

Go away!

Go over there!

This isn't
in the script.

Where does it say
the alligator eats
the smorgasbord?

You can just kiss
those cheeseballs
good-bye.

Grrr!

I suddenly lost
my appetite, boys.
What say we...

Retreat!

Yow!
Yow!yow!

Grrr!

There!

[Gulp]

Fat lot of good
you are.

So come on in and meet
my pet elephant checkers.

Riffraff: up, up,
and away!

Mungo: mungo hungry!

Go for it, checkers!

Yow!
Yow!
Yow!

Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!

[Crash]

Come on in
and meet my pet
gorilla checkers

And enjoy
my free smorgasbord.

[Airplane engine
in distance]

Dive! Dive!

Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!

Grrr!

Yow!
Yow!
Yow!

[Crash]

Mungo, turn
that thing off.
I can't think.

Yeah, but
it's a really neat show
about the trojan horse.

These guys climb inside
this big wooden horse--

What do I care
about a big
wooden horse?!

That's how they sneak
into the city.

We could
do that.

We don't have
a horse, boss.

Of course
we don't have
a horse.

We have
a cadillac!

Mungo,
grab leroy.

Uh, leroy's not
a horse.

[Snoring]

[Tires screech]

Huh?

Yeah,
but he'll make
a great decoy.

Uh, mungo hungry.

Riffraff:
so nevada will think

We're trading in
the caddy.

While he works out
the deal,

We snatch the food.

Why are you guys being
so nice to me?

It's our way
of saying thank you

For all the fine
deeds you do for us
day in and day out.

In other words,
I'm being set up.

Right. Operation
trojan cadillac...

All systems go!

That's right.
I take any car in trade,
no questions asked.

Here's
a fine specimen
right now.

Looks like
it was owned by
a sweet old couple

Who only drove it
on sundays.

End of the line,
leroy.

Time to get out.

But I love
to ride.

It cools off
my tongue.

Out!

Heave! h*!heave! h*!

Unh!

I can take a hint.

Oh, what's
an obvious
dog-about-town

Doing in a place
like this?

Cooling my tongue.

Wait! I can offer you

Top dollar
for that trailer!

Huh? Uh, boat.
Hey! It's you!

Who hit
the boat button?

Who cares?
The marines have landed!

Let's hit the beach!

Checkers!

Get him! And him!
And him! And him!

Hey! Stay away
from that buffet!

[Honk]

[Honk]

[Honk]

[Honk]

[Honk]

[Honk honk]

Hey! Get away
from those cars!

[Horns honking]

This isn't
in the script.

Keep filming.
The 10:00 news
will buy it.

You got the beat,
so now we eat.

I'll get--huh?
Uh-oh! Not again!

Ch-ch-checkers!

How about a cruise,
honey?

Uh...

No need for words.
Talk is cheap.

Yow!

Let me out of here!

Oh, all that
and a sense of humor, too.

What are you doing?
We should be going.

Uh, tidy is
as tidy does.

Yaah! Yah!

My smorgasbord!

Unh! Yow! Aah!

[Crash]

That's a wrap,
lenny.

Uh...uh...

Leave us alone.

Uh, mungo hungry.

Yikes! Ow! Ow!

Uh, thanks, mungo.

Don't forget to save
the bones for me.

You earned them,
leroy.

[Checkers whimpering]

No! It can't be!

Oh, yes, it can.

My daddy may have
been a bulldog,

But mama had some
bloodhound in her.
Come here, loverboy.

Yike!

Oh, here I come.

[Cats laughing]

This is my little neice,
spikette.

Cute little puppy, ain't she?

Like all puppies,
spikette loves to eat.

But one thing I need to
teach her

Is to never take food from a
stranger.

It may seem mean, but it
protects your pet from danger.