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03x07 - Agg

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Somebody Somewhere". Aired: January 16, 2022 to present.*
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A comedy following Sam, a true Kansan who struggles to fit in; dealing with loss her singing is a saving grace and leads her on a journey to discover herself.

03x07 - Agg

Post by bunniefuu »

You about finished?

The big boys are ready to come out.

Yeah, I think so. Oop!

Missed one.

I mean, even their poops are cute.

Okay, I think we're all clear!

I'm not touching that.

Do I stink?

- No.
- You sure?

I'm not getting anything.

Okay, good.

Any... movement on Iceland?

- Mm-mm.
- Really? You haven't talked?

Nope.

I'm sorry, Sam. I thought
you had such a nice date.

Yeah, well, you know.

His loss.

You know what though? I'm proud of you.

- For what?
- Hm.

For going for it, you
know? 'Cause the old Sam...

Oh, my God, there's no "old Sam." Jeez.

Okay, well the...

the Sam I used to know,

she wouldn't have. But the new Sam...

Jesus.

- The new Sam...
- New Sam.

... she did, and I think
that's really great.

Oh, well, what will she do next?

- Fun nails?
- No!

Tight perm? Fake t*ts?

Alright.

You going in?

I'm going in.

I'll be out here.

I've got my puzzles. I'll be just fine.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Go Joel!

Joel?

Hi.

Well, what a wonderful surprise!

Oh, I've been waiting for you.

I think I've been waiting for you, too.

- You okay?
- Yeah, I just do this now.

I don't know why.

This place is perfect.

Yeah. Kinda is, right?

- Yeah.
- The opportunity presented itself, so we took it.

Haven't looked back.

So, what took you so
long? We've missed you.

I guess, um, I've just been too ashamed.

Oh, for God's sake, Joel.

You're too hard on yourself.

- I guess I am.
- None of that matters.

What matters is you're back!

Yeah.

Do you have a minute? Can...
Can I give you a little tour?

- Oh, well my friend is waiting outside, but, um...
- Oh.

A little tour couldn't hurt.

I'm just so glad you're back.

Me, too.

Oh, can you believe that
piano? Came with the church!

- Oh, wow!
- Yeah.

Bye.

- Hey.
- Hey!

- Hey!
- Hey, how'd it go?

So good. I...

I don't even know... Like,

what was I even thinking?

I mean,

this is just where I belong.

Well, sometimes you
gotta go away to come back

and realize where you're
supposed to be, right?

- Yeah.
- Plus, you know,

they got swings.

- You wanna?
- Yeah, I wanna.

- You wanna race there?
- Yes!

Okay, let's do it! I'm going!

Hold on, I-I'll meet you.

You weren't gonna race!

I'm coming. I'm coming.

I'm back!

Hey. I'm in here.

Oh. You're still at it.

Still at it. Almost done.

I gotta tell you,

the minds of tomorrow
have been very impressive.

Well, I think that's
credit to Mr. Schraeder.

Aww.

I want... Um, I wanted
to talk about something.

I'm not gonna go to Bethany anymore.

Oh.

I'm sorry. I really am.

I wanna be there with you, but...

when you met me, the...

church was just this really
complicated part of my life,

and... I mean, it still is.

I'm not getting what I need there.

And I think I need to
go find what that is.

I...

um...

Sam just took me to go see Pastor Deb.

Oh... Mm-hmm.

Did that help?

I think it did.

Oh.

You know, uh...

you can talk to me about anything.

I know, Brad. I know.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Um...

I mean...

I'm a little disappointed.

I had kind of some...

hopes that...

- But, I'm good.
- I am sorry.

Can we still go on our walk together?

Ah, of course, we can.

Of course, we can,

you big goofball. Of course.

- Hey, you want some tea?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Cozy Chamomile?

Surprise me.

Okay. I'll make it for you right now.

What are you doing here?
Did I f*ck something up?

What?

We forgot Holly's birthday.

I mean, I don't know how I forgot it.

I'm working on a cancer
benefit, for God's sake!

I mean, it's in my
calendar. It's in my brain.

I mean, I've never forgotten
it! Never. Not once.

It just...

I think I'm ready to go inside.

Okay.

Yeah, so you, you haven't
changed much, huh?

Yeah, I... I guess I like it like this.

You guys are so cute in that picture.

- You doing okay?
- Yeah. I mean...

I mean, I don't... I mean, I'm not...

you know, I'm not sure.

You wanna...

Would it help to sit down or?

Um...

yeah, um...

I guess I just thought,
like, being here would,

would help, that just to...

Does it?

Ugh, I'm just not sure. I don't know.

Yeah...

I mean, I'm just not sure,
like, how you did this.

You know, like how you're
able to just, like, be here

with all her stuff and
everything, you know?

Because, like, I couldn't
do it. I couldn't handle it.

I didn't... I mean, I
couldn't even come in here.

You know? I mean, I just had
to, like, run away from it.

And then, I've been, like, trying to...

hold on to this feeling.

But, it's slipping away. Like...

I know.

Like, it feels like she's...

slipping away, you know?
And it just feels really...

just feels...

just feels really bad,
and it makes me really mad.

- Yeah, I know.
- You know?

And it... And I don't
know how you did it.

Like, you didn't a-avoid it.

You just walked into the sadness,

- and I just don't know how you... I don't know how you did that.
- Hey, Trish... Um...

You know, I'm here with all her stuff,

and I still forgot her birthday.

You had other things. You got a family.

You had the store, you know.

You got a lot of stuff going on.

This is all I had, so...

You know, you did it one way,
I did it another way, and...

and we both end up in the same place.

No, no, no. I think you did it better.

I don't think there's any better.

You know, um...

You know, there's...

There's a lot of days I don't
even think about her anymore,

and I never thought that would happen.

I don't want that to happen. I don't.

You know, I don't want it to get easier.

I just, um...

- I don't want her to go away.
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I think... think...

I'm scared of...

- of losing the sadness.
- Yeah.

Because it means I'm losing her.

- I know.
- You know what I mean?

And, um...

But, it's...

The sadness isn't her, you know?

Like, I don't think we have to...

keep doing that to ourselves.

I think that...

there's the sadness,
and then there's Holly.

She's not going anywhere, you know?

And that's what matters.

She would not believe it.

This, the way we are right now.

No.

I mean, I know I don't.

Sam.

Really don't know how
this happened. I guess...

she just had to get
cancer and die for us to...

to like each other.

I don't know, kinda
wasted a lot of time.

You're... You're not so bad.

Mm...

I think Holly might like it

if we had a glass of wine right now.

- Would that interest you?
- Think Holly would approve.

- Can I get you one? Okay.
- Please.

Yeah.

Tricia, um,

I want you to have this.

- Oh, no, no, no. I can't.
- Really, I want you to have it.

That's good.

She's always gonna be
with you when you got this.

Thank you.

I got all her sh*t, you know.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Um...

What smells bad?

Ah, that's dog sh*t.

- I'm not letting you go.
- No!

Not letting you go, you smell it...

Smell me.

Thanks for this.

Okay.

Wait, so what's going on with Iceland?

Mm, nothing.

I mean, you know, we had a date, but...

Well, how'd it go?

It was good, but, you know...

- But what?
- Nothing.

- Nothing?
- Nothing.

Like... Tricia, it's fine.

No, it is not fine! Jesus Christ.

I mean, what is wrong with men?

You have a great date,
and then just nothing?

Ugh! Swear to God, I hate
all of 'em. I really do.

- Just, just text me when you get home. Alright?
- I will.

I told you he was an as*h*le!

I know you... I know.

Hi! Yeah, excuse me? Sir? Um,

what is your deal?!

You know my sister likes you, right?

So, you go, you have this
great date, and then what?

Just nothing? You just
leave her hanging like that?!

I mean... what is your f*cking problem?!

Do you have any idea what
you are missing out on?

She's so crazy special!
Do you know that?

She's so f*cking funny and smart,

and she is sensitive and beautiful

and she has this huge heart,

that you do not deserve, by the way.

So, you know what? Don't call her.

It is your loss. I told
her you were an as*h*le,

but she didn't listen to me. So...

Excuse me.

I did call her.

And I texted her.

And she didn't respond.

Still think I'm an as*h*le?

Just...

Just don't ask me that right now. Okay?

Hi!

No! No! No!

No, I got a 911! I got a 911!

Oh no! Oh, oh, God! Oh, it's coming out!

- Well, here, I'll help!
- What are you talking about?

_

Finally.

A-G-G?

All glory to God!

- Ah! I'm so jealous.
- A-G-G.

Honestly, I felt like
talking to Pastor Deb

just, like, unlocked something.

I mean, it's all coming out now.

Good. She's coming through
where science fell short.

- Exactly.
- Are you ready?

I'm more than ready!

Uh-oh. You got a little...
something back here.

I do not!

Sure you don't wanna come in?

I would love to come
in and be your buffer,

but I do have to go pick up Brad.

Ugh, he can walk.

Oh! Sam!

How's he doing anyway? Is he alright?

Yeah. I think I hurt
his feelings though.

- I think he'll be fine.
- But... Yeah.

But...

I don't think he loved
that I talked to you

about the church stuff instead of him.

Yeah.

I just felt like you...

I don't know.

I felt like you could understand

in a way that he couldn't.

- I did my best.
- You did.

You were so good.

Yeah, I'm trying.

Do you remember that
time you came to my house,

and we did Zumba?

It's, like, the only time
you ever did it with me.

And you were sitting in
the garage, and you said...

you said

you don't know if I
should get on this ride

'cause you weren't sure if
you were friendship material.

Yeah, it rings a bell.

- I think about that all the time.
- Hm.

God, I'm glad I didn't listen to you.

I'm so glad I got on the ride.

I mean, my life is so
much better because of you.

I think...

I think you're my person, Sam.

I know you are.

Well. Huh.

That might be the nicest thing
anybody's ever said to me.

Well, it's true.

Thank you.

You're so...

You're a really good friend.

Even if you did m*rder my toilet.

I did. I did m*rder it.

You know the neighbors called.

The aftershocks.

People are stunned. They're
storming the streets.

- Trish?
- Yeah, I'm in here.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- I brought some scones.
- Oh.

I got a mixed berry and
something with some nuts.

- Okay, well...
- Looked fun.

So, um...

I was wondering

if the offer for the Jeep
is still on the table?

Truck wouldn't start this
morning, and I really...

I don't know, I can't
keep up with the repairs.

- Yes, yes. Absolutely. Yes, I've been waiting.
- Really?

Yeah, she's all yours.

- Thank you. It's...
- Yeah.

- It's time, right?
- Yeah, yeah.

Ah, good.

What?

Uh, I went out to the farm today.

Oh yeah? What for?

Yeah, because I wanted
to talk to Iceland

about how he's been treating you.

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

Um, what'd he say?

Well, he said that he
called you and texted,

and you never responded. So...

I mean, what's up with that?

Um...

He likes you, Sam.

You really...

- You think so?
- Mm-hmm.

And you like him.

- Yeah...
- Why do you think you make things so hard for yourself?

'Cause it's fun.

Eh, I don't know why I do that.

I think you should give it a shot.

Yeah...

I don't know.

You don't know what you're missing.

Yeah.

Just make sure he showers first
'cause he doesn't smell right.

Oh, my God, he doesn't smell!

Alright.

Excuse me, m*therf*ckers. Here I come...

Oh sh*t! Got a little pick up on it.

Hey, Brett.

- Going out for a little jog?
- Hi!

- Sorry to keep you waiting.
- It's okay.

Was just an amazing sermon,
and I had so many questions.

- Oh, interesting! Tell me all about it.
- Yeah.

"1 Timothy 2."

The whole thing about,
you know, whether or not...

Oh!

Hey! Hey, there you are!

Finally! How are you?

You know what? Never better.

I mean it. I mean it.

I'm just happy to talk to you, sorry.

Oh yeah, I'm not at the house.

This tastes worse
than you think it will,

but, um, it's the only
white we have, so...

I don't know why I haven't
been by here before.

Well, I made up for in volume, so...

So, why did you want me to stop by?

Oh, you know... I missed you.

Really though, why?

- Why you looking at me like that?
- I don't know.

- Well, yeah, I wanted to thank you, you know?
- What?

Y-You know, for going out to the farm

- and sticking up for me like that.
- I mean...

You know.

Yelling at a guy that's
three times your size

and could pop you like a zit.

I actually really feel like
I could take him, though.

I think you probably could.

You know, I, um...

I need... I needed your help.

You're a good sister.

Sam...

- Well...
- Just...

I'll deny it if you tell
anybody I said that, but...

you are, you're a good sister.

I'm sorry, but we got some
really strict house rules here.

- Oh, God.
- No crying allowed.

- That includes me?
- That includes you.

Oh, saved by the bell!

- Sammy!
- Oh!

Everybody's here! What? What is this?

- Come on.
- Hi.

- They're coming.
- He did say that though! He did!

We have some awesome treats.

Wait, uh, are those
tiny glasses of milk?

No, Brad! They're shots.
This is what the kids do.

Pass 'em around.

Tastes like breast milk.

Fred, come here, I gotta borrow you.

She said it tastes like breast milk.

She did just say it
tastes like breast milk.

Show time.

- Knock 'em dead, kid.
- You, too.

- It's good to know! Now, I know. I was...
- What's this about breast milk?

Alright! Hey, everybody.

Hey!

- Enjoying the free popcorn?
- Yes!

Alright. Feels like
the old times, right?

Yeah!

Alright, kids, we have
a special treat for you.

All the way from behind the bar,

our dear friend, the one and only Sammy!

What? Sam!

I need you.

Oh. What are we doing?

- Okay. Knock 'em dead.
- Woo!

Well,

first of all, um, I wanna
thank you all for coming out

to the c*ck-n-Bull on the Lord's Day.

I feel, um...

I feel really good.

And, um, I thought that
that was a good enough reason

to ask all my favorite people
to be here with me today.

I want you guys to know how
much I love you. I really do.

Even you, Trish.

So,

let's take our TBMs...

Tiny Breast Milks...

Cheers to us,

- and here's to living.
- To living!

Oh, those are awfully sweet.

Okay.

- Miley.
- Okay.

Hit the track.

♪ I can almost see it ♪

♪ That dream I'm dreaming ♪

♪ But there's a voice
inside my head saying ♪

♪ You'll never reach it ♪

♪ Every step I'm taking ♪

♪ Every move I make feels ♪

♪ Lost with no direction ♪

♪ My faith is shaking ♪

♪ But I... ♪

♪ I'm gonna keep trying ♪

♪ Gonna keep my head held high ♪

♪ Why, I'm gonna tell you why ♪

♪ There's always gonna
be another mountain ♪

♪ I'm always gonna want make it move ♪

♪ Always gonna be an uphill battle ♪

♪ Sometimes, you're gonna have to lose ♪

♪ Ain't about how fast I get there ♪

♪ Ain't about what's
waiting on the other ♪

♪ Side... ♪

- ♪ It's the climb ♪
- ♪ It's the climb ♪

Sorry!

♪ The struggles I'm facing ♪

♪ These chances I'm taking ♪

♪ Well, sometimes might
knock me down, but ♪

♪ No, I'm not breaking ♪

♪ And I may not know it ♪

♪ But, these are the moments ♪

♪ I'm gonna remember most, yeah ♪

♪ Just gotta keep going ♪

♪ And I... ♪

♪ I've gotta be strong ♪

- Are you ready?
- Mm-hmm.

♪ Just keep pushing on ♪

♪ Why, I'm gonna tell you why ♪

♪ There's always gonna
be another mountain ♪

♪ I'm always gonna wanna make it move ♪

♪ Always gonna be an uphill battle ♪

♪ Sometimes, you're gonna have to lose ♪

♪ Ain't about how fast I get there ♪

♪ Ain't about what's
waiting on the other ♪

♪ Side ♪

Everybody!

♪ It's the climb! ♪

Sammy! Sammy!

Sammy! Sammy! Sammy!

Sammy! Sammy! Sammy!

Sammy! Sammy!

Sammy! Sammy!

Just gimme a sec.

Hi.

Wow.

- I guess you got my note.
- I did.

- Alright, well...
- That was amazing.

Thank you.