01x04 - Nick Takes Over The Rodeo

[bunniefuu]

Excuse me, do you know where the rodeo is?

No.

[Imitating] no.

Excuse me, ma'am,

Do you know where the rodeo is?

Like, you know, the bull riding contest

Or anything like that?

There's no bulls around here.

Thank you.

Excuse me, sir,

I don't mean to interrupt

Your important phone call and everything,

But do you know where the rodeo is?

This is rodeo drive, right?

This is rodeo drive,

And there's certainly no rodeo here.

So there's no horses for me to ride on?

Hardly.

Giddyap, businessman! To the rodeo!

Giddyap, man. Come on! Go! To the rodeo!

Come on. Here we go. To the rodeo!

We takin' over.

** Come on **

** Ain't no party like a nick cannon party **

** 'Cause a nick cannon pary don't stop **

** Ain't no party like a nick cannon party **

** 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop **

** Do my ladies take this party over? **

Ladies: ** oh, yeah*

Nick: ** oh, do my dogs take this party over? **

Dogs: ** oh, yeah **

** Ain't no party like a nick cannon party **

** 'Cause a nick cannon pary don't stop **

Oh! Welcome to the show.

Today we're taking over the rodeo.

It's exciting. We'll teach you guys how to ride,

How to rope, and how to be a cowboy.

To be a cowboy, you have to have a horse.

Everybody had a horse:

Lone ranger had a horse-- you know, hi-h*, silver.

I gotta find me a co-star. I need to get a horse.

Here's a horse right here.

I want to be a cowboy, and I was just wondering

If I could, you know, give your horse a try.

All right, brownie.

Don't buck now.

My--my feet are still on the ground.

Think I need a bigger size. This one don't fit.

Whoa.

That's the kind of horse I need.

Whoa, hey, sir. Hey.

I'm looking for a horse 'cause I'm trying to be a cowboy,

And I was just wondering if maybe you could help me out

By letting me use your horse?

Sure.

What's your horse's name?

Burt.

Oh! Oh, burt!

Oh, burt!

Burt, where you going?

Whoa.

I think I found my horse.

Me and burt.

What does that taste like?

There's no taste here, burt.

I'm voting for something else.

Now, food is a huge part of the rodeo,

And all cowboys love chili.

And only real cowboys can handle hot chili,

So I decided to make myself some super hot chili.

Y'all ready? Let's see what I got here.

Look at this. Nick's hot hot hot sauce.

Gotta get some hot peppers.

Nick's super hot sauce. Yeah.

Still ain't done. Uh-uh!

Nick's super hot hot sauce.

We're still not done!

Not done at all.

Chili peppers.

Mix all that up.

Tasty! Time to sell.

Nicks' hot chili. Cents. Let's make some money.

Step right up. We've got nick's super hot hot chili.

Who wants some? You want some first?

Go ahead.

That's good hot stuff, right?

Yeah.

Is it hot? Is it hot?

That's hot.

Is it real hot? Yeah.

There you go.

Is it hot, jerry?

Oh, yeah.

Really hot? Really hot.

I want nick's super hot chili.

Go ahead. Get you some.

It's hot.

It's hot? Yeah.

All right. Just like you like it,

Right, real cowboy?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Let me get a yee-ha! Yee-ha!

All right, everybody. Everybody got their chili?

All: yeah!

Is it hot?

Yeah!

Is it super hot?

Yeah!

All right. Now it's time for me

To sell my next item.

Nick's water. $.

I'm gonna really make some money now.

$ For a water.

Ain't no chili like a nick cannon chili...

'Cause a nick cannon chili is hot!

Look at all this. I got money. I came up.

Nick's super hot chili. We out of here.

Rodeo time. It's good chili, right?

Yeah.

** Nick cannon **

** Nick cannon **

They have an event here at the rodeo

Called bareback riding.

I really want to know what this is.

I think I have an idea, though, and I'm ready to go make it happen.

Let's go bareback ride.

Hey, tyson thompson, bareback rider,

What's going on, man? My name's nick.

What are you doing?

You're not supposed to be bare.

The horse is supposed to be bare.

Oh, the horse, not me.

It makes perfect sense. That's why you not bare.

I'm gonna get clothes.

All right. You go do that.

I know it's something-- there we--

Hey you cowboys and cowgirls,

Don't go nowhere 'cause we about to get wild.

Slow down, partner.

Come on, do-si-do one more time.

I'm gonna go talk to some people.

Hey, how are you guys doing?

Hi.

I'm trying to get, you know,

The authentic cowboy.

I need some western lingo.

Anybody know, like, some western lingo

That I can bring out?

No.

Anybody know how to say anything western?

Yippee kiyay!

What language is that? That was western?

What's that mean?

Get up and go.

I need to know, like, some real rodeo terms.

You know, like howdy, yippee kiyay.

Howdy is your nickname?

So every time somebody say "howdy," they're talking about you?

They're talking about me.

Teach me something new. A western term

That I don't know anything about yet.

What's crackalating?

What's crackalating?

So I walk up to them, and I'm like,

&Quot;hey, what's crackalating?&Quot;

Like that? That's right.

When would I say yee-ha?

When you're riding your horse. I don't know.

So, like, I'm gonna ride,

And I'm yee-ha.

Grab your belt and go yee-ha!

Ok, you ready? One, two, three.

Yee-ha.

I'm sorry.

You didn't move this.

Like that!

Ok, one, two, three.

Yee-ha!

Not yee-ha.

Like--cowgirl like.

I'm not a cowgirl, though.

Yippee-o-kiyay.

What does that mean?

[Yodeling]

Yeah, I'd rather just say yippee...

Yi-kiyo-yay.

Use yippee kiyay in a sentence.

Get ahead, way out there, hay to bid.

All right, sir, what are you gonna give for 'em?

Maybe about , you bid .

Yippee kiyay. Sold-out.

Bum-stickity-bum- stickity-bum.

Um, yeah...west side.

So, I don't understand what you just said.

What's a whippersnapper?

Whippersnapper, really, is just a young cowboy.

A young cattleboy?

Cowboy. Cowboy.

Cowboy. Cowboy.

So if you're a cowboy, when do you become a cowman?

I want to be a cowman.

Ok.

So I think you're a whippersnapper.

Do you know what a whippersnapper is?

No.

A whippersnapper is a young cowboy.

Yeah.

Are you a cowboy?

So do you know any western terms, cowboy?

Freeze!

Freeze?

This town isn't big enough for the both of us.

Let me get a good yee-ha.

Yee-ha!

What's a do-si-do and how do you do it?

I do a two-step texas stomp.

Can I see it?

All right. Hook it up, now.

Slow down, partner.

Teach me something.

I'm trying to learn how to dance western.

All right, here we go, everybody. Everybody help out!

** Go nick, go nick **

** Go nick, go nick **

** Go nick, go nick, ow! **

Yeah!

Hello. Whoo!

** Nick nick nick nick cannon **

How you guys doing? What's your name?

Casey.

Casey. What's your name?

Davey.

Davey. What's your name?

I'm john.

I thought you were gonna be like nasey or something.

Or johnny.

Johnny. There you go.

Casey, davey, and johnny.

I like y'all glasses. Is that a new cowboy thing?

Yeah.

Hold on.

All right. Now I look like y'all.

You guys, y'all know what a -gallon hat is?

A -gallon hat?

Ever heard of a -gallon hat?

It's a big one.

If you look, the guys, he's got--

His horse used to drink out of the hat,

Holds gallons.

Just the right thing for the horse.

Oh, wait, look at this.

This is a cool hat. Drinking out of a -gallon hat.

It's really -gallons?

I think.

I'm gonna go get a -gallon hat

And see if it's really gallons.

You ever had a -gallon hat?

No. I never heard of it.

You never heard of a -gallon hat?

No.

It's like a big, tall cowboy hat.

See, I think yours would be, like,

/ A gallon or a pint.

Mine, I probably got like a pint or a quart,

You know, something like that.

But, like, the -gallon hats

Are the real, real tall hats.

Real tall ones?

You never heard of a -gallon hat?

How long have you been a cowboy?

Ever since I was born.

And you never heard of a -gallon hat?

I've been here for, like, minutes,

And I know what that is.

No, I never heard of that.

All right, so my man over there said

That a -gallon hat was really gallons

And cowboys used to use it for their horses to drink water out of.

So you think I can fit gallons

In this -gallon hat?

No.

You think I can fit gallons in here?

I don't really think so.

Maybe we should try to find out, huh? Yeah.

You guys want to help me?

Because we got gallons of ice cream over there.

Yeah.

Come on, let's go, y'all.

I can't feel my hands.

Mush it down.

Smush it down in there.

It's very cold.

Whoo!

I think we fit it in there.

Give me high-s. All right.

Yeah!

Cold!

Give me , man. All right.

-Gallon hat.

** Nick nick nick nick nick cannon, nick cannon **

** Nick nick nick nick nick cannon **

Another event at the rodeo is team roping.

Now, I got my home boy over here, landon.

He's gonna, you know, show me how to rope.

What's up, man? How's it going?

Everybody, this is landon.

You know, I know a little something

Already about roping.

I'm--you know,

Here, let me show you. Here, hold this.

Let me show you how I rope real quick.

No, no. It's not jump roping. It's team roping.

Oh, t-team...well, it's like double dutch!

Ok, so you hold this end,

And I'm gonna turn it like that.

Well, not quite.

So you say you been doing it how long?

Since I was probably about or .

Years old with calves...

My mama wouldn't even let me play with the cat when I was .

You the man. Thanks.

Oh, all right, landon, you know what, man?

I think I got the hang out this.

I think I can do it.

I got it.

Heeey! All right!

Landon, you rope the cows, I'll rope the girls.

Cowgirls.

How you doing?

Good, how are you doing?

I'm good. Nice shot there.

Thank you.

** Nick nick nick nick nick cannon nick cannon **

Where we going?

Where you off to? Where you wanna go, burt?

You hungry?

I'm with you, player.

Whoa, burt.

Hello?

Hyatt speaking, how may I help you?

Can I get two roast beef sandwiches.

Anything else?

You guys got any hay?

No, we don't have any hay.

Ok, cool.

Thank you.

Your total will be $. At the window.

Thank you.

Whoa, burt. Hello?

$..

$.. Burt, you got any change?

Burt, you always broke.

Why don't you carry no money with you?

Here you go. Thank you.

Burt's curly fries are in here?

They're in there.

All right, thanks a lot.

You have a great day. You too.

Let's go, burt, ride out. [Kissy noises]

You feeling it, player?

[Neighing sound]

I'm nick cannon here, and I'm taking over the rodeo.

Aww, somebody call my mama.

** Nick nick nick nick nick cannon, nick cannon **

** Nick nick nick nick nick cannon, nick cannon **

Cowboy poetry?

I gotta check that out.

All right, so can you explain a little bit about this whole cowboy poetry?

Well, cowboy poetry is an entertainment form

That probably started maybe years ago.

People would play the guitar,

Read poems, recite poems,

And that's where it came from.

Yeah, they rhythming, bobbing at the campfire.

You know, bob with me.

Bobbing it...

Bobbing at the campfire.

You got a poem for us?

Yes, sir, I do. All right.

Yep, it happened so fast it gets you to shaking,

'Cause you know yours ain't the only heart that'll be a-breakin'.

And suddenly you realize you just ain't never seen

The day your little cowgirl became a true rodeo queen.

Easy, easy.

[Weeping] that was beautiful.

Oh, thank you.

You're all right, partner.

Clint, that was beautiful, man.

That touched my heart.

'Cause she was a girl at first.

And then she was a queen.

There you go. There you go.

You got it.

Girl to a queen, girl to a queen...

The rodeo is finally here.

I'll ride my buckin' bronco

While all the people stand up and cheer

And shout, "bravo, bravo.&Quot;

And when I'm done, I'll take a bow

And win first prize, I hope.

And if I do, I'll shout, "yahoo!&Quot;

And for joy, a steer I'll rope.

That was good. I liked that. Yahoo! Bravo!

How long it take you to write that?

I don't know, probably...maybe two or minutes.

Oh, so you over here freestyling.

You just letting it go, huh?

Mm-hmm.

You got talent. Thanks.

You a prodigy is what they call that.

Now, all this poetry has just got me inspired.

You got the beatbox?

You ready with the ppt ppt ppt?

I'm ready.

Ok, hit 'im up with it.

[Beatboxing]

** Yo, I'm chilling at the rodeo **

** And the cowboys is wily **

** Girls saying, "oh," 'cause you know we're profiling **

** Putting it down on the hay **

** And we do this thing, like, every day **

** We got the poets **

** And we riding, and we going like clovers **

** Eh, yo, nick cannon, we taking over **

[Beatboxing]

** Nick nick nick **

Yo, what's going on? Nick cannon chilling here at the rodeo.

And I'm about to meet the professional bull rider slade malone.

So I thought, hey, might as well learn how to ride a bull, right?

Let's go!

[Cowbell jingles]

Now let's go talk to slade.

There's-- there's some bulls back there, man.

Yeah, that's the bulls.

I've never been this close to a bull.

I'm frightened.

You're not frightened

By the bulls right there at all?

No, not right there.

Because it look like he could just come-- if he really wanted to,

He could just come over here and...ram us both.

Yeah, it's a lot different when there's not a fence.

[Bull lowing]

Aw, he like rubbing his foot, dog.

Don't that scare you?

No, not yet. He can't--

If he was rubbing his foot on me, it would.

So they really do that, then? They like...

That's like, "i'm ready to pulverize you.&Quot; that's that move.

Yeah, that's the "get the hell out of the way move.&Quot;

I'm--i'm...ok.

The bull's right there.

You're about to go ride one of these mean animals.

He's still staring at us.

You're not nervous, man, at all?

Come on, right before you get on the bull, you have to be a little nervous.

Yeah, I imagine you'd get a little nervous.

You're not gonna not be nervous,

But you're not scared after a while.

So kinda like when I get ready to perform a new stand up or something like that...

Your heart starts beating a little faster.

Yeah, little butterflies.

It's time to go.

How do you get judged? How do you win?

Ok, there's two judges,

And each of them judge the bull one to points

And the cowboy one to points

For total points of .

Ok, so the bull is like your teammate almost?

Exactly. You want the bull to buck

As good as he's gonna buck,

And you wanna try to ride as good as you can ride.

So you don't want a nice bull.

No, you want the--

You want the gangster bull. You want the mean bull.

That's it. Maybe not mean,

But you want him to buck.

You want him to be grrr... The football-playing bull.

That's it.

The one who just had a bad morning.

The one-- the anger management bull.

That's it.

All right, we gonna get us a mean bull

That done went through a lot of stuff.

It smells really bad over here, slade.

Yeah, yeah. There's soft rocks everywhere.

What's a soft rock, man?

Uh, poop.

I think I might have stepped in a soft rock.

Thanks for talking to me. Thanks for letting me hang.

Thank y'all.

Good luck. I hope I can give it my best for y'all guys.

Wooo, rock on!

All right!

[Bull lows]

[Bull lowing]

[Fans cheering]

Wooooo!

Man!

Slade!

I can't whistle.

That's my dog.

** Nick nick nick nick nick cannon, nick cannon **

** Nick nick nick nick nick cannon, nick cannon **

** Nick nick nick cannon **

** Nick nick nick cannon **

Well, looks like my work here at the rodeo's done.

Happy trails, partner.

Let's go, burt.

Man: hey, where you going with my horse?

I need him back.

But--but all cowboys gotta ride off into the sunset.

I'm trying to ride off--

Not on my horse.

Dang!

Well, thanks.

All right.

See you later, tim. Peace out, burt.

Gotta ride off into the sunset.

Oh, well, still be a player with it.

Walk off into the sunset.

Mosey along.

Know how we do it.

All right!