01x13 - Nick Takes Over Nickelodeon

[bunniefuu]

All right! Nickelodeon!

Know what this network needs?

More me.

I mean, you can't have nickelodeon

Without nick.

Then it would just be "elodeon."

Wait a second. That's it!

I should take over nickelodeon!

Spongebob squarenick. Cousin nick.

Amanda...and nick.

Jimmy nicktron.

This is gonna be big.

That's right, baby.

I'm taking over nickelodeon.

♪ I'm taking over ♪

Come on!

♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪

♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪

♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪

♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪

Captioning made possible by nickelodeon and u.s. Department of education

Y'all, what's up, everybody? Nick cannon here,

And, boy, we got a good show for you tonight,

Because I'm taking over nickelodeon.

It's all mine.

What should I do first?

Could we send in my flunkies, please?

Hey, how you doin'? How you doin'? Right on.

So we need more shows with nick cannon on.

How can we create more shows with me?

More shows with nick.

I love the nick idea.

Cooking with nick.

Spinach and nick.

Spinach cooking.

Hmm...

Announcer: welcome to...

Hi, and welcome to cooking with nick.

Today, we'll be making spinach souffle.

It's actually a really good feeling--

Spinach going through your fingers.

Bathe in the spinach.

Swimming in the spinach.

Nah. I didn't like the cooking with nick thing.

That's fine, that's fine. Another idea.

Nick news.

Hours. Nick news.

Hmm...

Good evening, and welcome to nick cannon news--

-Hour news all about nick cannon.

Today's top story:

Nick cannon woke up really cranky this morning

With a crick in his neck.

This just in:

Nick cannon will be having

A peanut butter and egg sandwich for lunch.

Got to use the bathroom.

Nah. I'm not feeling the news thing, either.

How about a sitcom?

Sitcom!

The nickcom.

Nickcom.

Hmm...

Announcer: get ready to raise the roof at...

Honey, I'm home!

Honey, you wouldn't believe what happened at work today.

Honey?

Anybody?

Aw...

Nah. What else? What else you guys got?

Nick...at night. Huh?

Ah!

He's on all night long,

But it's just...nick.

Things I do at night? Hmm...

[Snoring]

[Snorts]

[Sighs]

Nah. Man, guys, guys, this is what we got to do.

We got to do something cutting-edge, something next level.

A talk show!

Talk--

Uh...

Kids don't like talk shows.

You'd have to have somebody really,

Like, the biggest entertainer there ever is.

Ever. Ever.

Huh? I can do that.

I'm with my man, big will smith. Yeah.

Hey, man, listen. I want to tell you

I'm just really happy to come on your show, man.

I'm happy-- hold it.

You got your own cup, man. My cup?

It say the nick cannon show.

Yeah, man! I knew you was going to be a star.

I had my eye on you, boy.

I knew you was going to be a star for a long time.

Can I put my feet on your couch here? Do you mind?

Watch the "nick."

Oh, I saw that!

In lights-- your name in lights!

Yeah, and I could get my homeboy to direct it.

He said he directed this kind of stuff before. That would be hot! Yeah.

Yo, yo, babe! This here the spunkle!

My man nick cannon told me to put it down--

You know, come in here and make it happen.

Nick cannon--he's an all-right-looking kid, you know what I'm saying?

He needs some gold teeth or something.

Hey, yo, nick! You got to do something bananas, son.

You're not giving me enough.

No, but definitely put your foot up-- put your feet up there.

Yo, don't make me come out there!

Get your feet off the couch, money!

Yo, yo! Microphones, check!

♪ Yo, I come come to rhyme and then check, direct ♪

♪ And I'm gonna make it more, more, 'cause I've got respect ♪

♪ And, yo, I'm going thump and now I'm making it happen ♪

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Yo, son! What's wrong with this one?

Don't touch that. We're taping.

Sorry.

Uh, I can fix it. I can fix it, son.

Yo, son! Is this supposed to be unhooked, money?

If you want, I can call my cousin.

He can come hook it up. We'll have, like, cameras running.

Everything you need.

Hold on, slick.

I--i-- there we go, money!

Yeah! Whoo! All right!

I got it done, money.

I've been working out a little bit, man.

There. See? Feel that.

[Audience cheers]

Yeah. Oh, let me see.

Boy, you don't want none of-- whoo!

[Audience cheers]

Tricep. This is the tricep.

Whoo! You see that?

Boy, you eat biscuits, you might weigh pounds.

This is the foundation. I'm building on it.

See, you already, as you know, the big, strong builder.

See, I'm the future.i'm the blueprint.

You the blueprint.that's how we working it.

Yo! Switch cameras, money.

Switch camera. Camera , money.

Yo, son, you ain't gonna be manhandlin' me like that.

I'm from brooklyn, son.

You don't want none of this, money.

On you like larry from the stooges. Watch out, money.

Yo, so--so what--

No, I'm just saying, son, who are those?

Hey. Hey, I'm just saying-- I'm just saying, like--

Where the dancing at, son?

We need to, like, start dancing up in here, money.

I've known you for a long time.

See, you didn't think that I would come without ammunition.

So I brought a little something with me, you know?

Now, you want to talk about embarrassing moments...

[Laughter]

[Cheering]

[Applause]

See, what had happened was,

That morning, my comb broke.

Hold on, hold on.

Go, spunkle! Go, spunkle!

Yo, son! Yo, son! Go, spunkle! Go, spunkle!

I'm feeling it! Do the hustle!

Ohhh...

Off the hood, son. Off the hood, son.

What are we gonna do, man? Man, that's the show.

Was this the show, son?

That was the show.

Well, you know, we can fix it.

I can fix it. I can...fix it.

Oh, no. No. No! No! No!

No, no!

[All groaning]

You see? Look. Will looked real good right there.

You see will right there?

I think I did a good job directing, though.

Nah. Why don't we just stick with...

The nick cannon show?

Both: the nick cannon show!

It's taking over stuff every week.

Taking over. It's you.

The nick cannon show.

That's big.

Maybe we could, like, come up with something new

To drop on people's heads.

Nick: hey, yo, y'all hurry back,

'Cause nick cannon's takin' over.

I can't have you guys eating the slime.

All right, one nickelodeon trademark

Is slime.

You guys all know that, right?

You guys love slime.

Maybe we could, like, come up with something new

To drop on people's heads.

Kids: yeah!

Nick: that would be cool.

You guys want to help me out?

Yeah! Ready to test some stuff?

Yeah!who wants to go first?

Me. Me.

First thing--doughnuts.

How was it? Good.

Good?yeah. Good.

Very good. Yeah.

Man, I can't have you guys eating the slime.

Doughnuts aren't going to work.

Next!

How about a bag of trash?

You guys ready?

Yeah. Yeah.

How's that for some new slime?

Nah. Nah.

Something a little more messy?

Yeah. Much more messy.

Something to stick to you, maybe.

Yeah. That's just too plain.

Ok.

Y'all clean this up.

Bowling pins and bedpans.

[Clank]

How was that?

Smelly and hard.

Yeah, smelly. Too smelly.

Next!

Fire extinguishers and chickens.

[Clank]

How about that?

That was pretty painful.

It wasn't all that good. No.

Next!

A box of rocks.

Unh!

Uh, how y'all like that one, guys?

Uh, guys?

Next.

All right, guys, I got the perfect thing.

Me!

Next.

I think I got the perfect thing.

Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Slime is good, right?

Kids: yeah!

Nick: keep slime the same.

Keep slime the same!

Nick cannon.

Nick, nick, nick, nick cannon.

All right, since I'm taking over nickelodeon,

And nickelodeon has lots of cartoons,

I thought, "hey, why not turn myself into a cartoon?"

That's why I got my man rayfield here--

An animator gonna hook me up.

Right on! So usually, what do you draw on nickelodeon?

I'm a storyboard artist on invader zim,

And what I'm doing is just basically bringing the script to life.

Cool. So you can bring me to life on the tv screen...

Animated like, 'cause I'm already, like, on regular tv.

Yeah, I guess I could do that.

All right. Cool.

Drawing me!

Oh, yeah. That's exactly what I look like.

Oh, that's exactly? Ha ha!

Yeah, you got to make a brother swoll.

I've been working out.

You know, about time this cartoon come out,

You know, I might be... Stocky, you know?

Yeah, ok.

Ooh, that boy ripped!

Cool!

So what's the next step?

Taking it to a director.

I done took over nickelodeon,

So we can skip all that director stuff and all that,

And just bring it to life right now.

You with it? Yeah. Yeah, that's cool.

Let's make it happen.

[Snap]

[High-pitched whistling]

[Clank]

[Birds chirping]

Whoa.

Maybe I don't want to be a cartoon.

Thanks a lot, rayfield, my man.

I appreciate it, you know,

Hooking me up and everything.

That was tight.

Ooh. I'm gonna holler at you.

All right, man.all right.

Don't want anything else to fall on my head.

Nick, nick, nick, cannon, cannon.

All right, you guys, I've created

A new animated character for nickelodeon

Called "kut" the cheese.

That's k-u-t-- that's a name--

Kut the cheese,

Cause I'm the cheese--

The head cheese.

Let's go see if I can convince some people

To make kut the cheese a cartoon.

[Farts]

Hey, how you doin'?

I'm nick, and I'm trying to create

A whole new cartoon for nickelodeon.

You know, a new character.

It would be called kut the cheese.

His superpower is his stench.

Yeah. That's cool, right?

'Struction boy.

Construction boy?

Wait. You guys have new ideas you're pitching me, man?

So construction boy can be, like, my sidekick.

It could be, like, kut the cheese and construction boy.

I'm not a cheese boy. I'm just construction.

Exactly. And while you do that,

I can, like, "kut" the cheese.

He senses danger when his stomach starts to bubble.

Like, what would you add to the kut the cheese concept?

More beans.

Beans. That, like, could be his--

Yeah, like popeye has spinach, he could have beans.

More beans. [Farts]

That's a good idea. [Farts]

I'm getting a little excited over here. I'm sorry.

Hey, it's the hacky sack guys!

Hey, let-- let kut get some.

[Farting]

My feet are kind of curved at the ends,

So I'm not really that good at hacky sack.

See? They don't have any superheroes up here on the wall.

They got cartoon characters, but no superheroes.

That's why they need me-- kut the cheese.

I'll be right there-- ren, rocko, kut, right in the middle.

[Farts]

Kut the cheese.

[Farting]

Can I help you? Oh!

Nick: ♪ nick, nick, nick, nick, n-nick, nick, nick ♪

♪ Is taking over nickelodeon ♪

We'll be right back.

Hey! Go, latanya!

Nick.

Oh! Oh, y'all-- y'all, I am on the set

Of a hit nickelodeon show called taina.

This is where they sh**t the show, y'all.

Maybe I could be on this show.

I could be the star of this show. sh**t.

sh**t, I could dance just like taina.

sh**t, I could sing.

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

Matter of fact, look.

Ooh, there go-- there go her bedroom set, right--ooh!

This her bed. Ooh.

See, I could be, like, "ooh, hi.

Ooh, hi."

Ooh. See, look. See?

Who cuter? Who cuter?

Me, huh?

Abuelo couldn't get over our school chorus singing

At lincoln center last night.

Yeah. I was feeling that chorus from queens high school.

Oh, yeah--the ones that did the hip-hop battle hymn of the republic.

Psst! Psst! Hey, girl that play taina!

Christina: me?

Taina girl.

All right.

I'll be right back.

Ok. Whatever.

Why don't you just play taina now?

Ok, I'll be her. All right.

Can I help you? Oh!

Oh! Get off me!

What are you doing?! Get off!

Why?

Because taina and I might get to--

I messed up. Sorry.

It's in front of you. Come on.

Because taina and I might--

Yes. Where was we? [Giggling]

What are you laughing about?

Let's finish reading.

Who are-- what are you?

Uh, my name is latanya. I'm--i'm, uh...

Nice to meet you. I'm chris.

Oh, how you doing, chris?

I play lamar, and--

Well, it's nice to meet you.where is christina?

See, what happened was, we had a little discussion back there,

And I'm taking her spot, because...we changing the name of the show.

It's no longer taina. It's now latanya.

Yeah, so we gonna do this? Let's get up and do this.

I don't know about all this.

What page are we on? Page one.

Page--ok.

That's where I start?

Yeah. Go ahead.

Abuelo... Couldn't get over our school chorusus

Singing at the lincoln... Center last night.

Ok, since when did that many syllables

Become part of "chorus"?

Why are you interrupting her?

Because she's not good.

'Cause she can't read!

Give me a chance!

$.! I got $. On her. $..

What you want to do? Get back!

Chris: go, girl! Go, girl!

Go, girl! Go, girl! Go, girl!

Let's just do the scene.

Ok, ok.

Put your shoe back on, baby. Put your shoe back on.

Abuelo...

Mm-hmm. Gosh...

Couldn't get over our school ch--ch--

"Chor-us."

Chorusus.

No. No, no. "Chor-us."

Ch-ris.

No, that's a name.

That's your name?

You got to take speech in order to be taina. It's a requirement.

A requirement? A requirement?

Heifer, you know what a requirement is?

Deodorant is a requirement, that's what that is.

Deodorant. Requirement. Use it.

Latanya: oh! Fightin' words!

She's not lying.

Read the line.

Yeah, the ones that did the hip-hop battle hymn of the republic.

[Chris rapping indistinctly]

♪ Go, latanya ♪

♪ Go, latanya ♪

♪ Go, latanya ♪all right.

♪ Go, latanya ♪

♪ Go, latanya ♪

♪ Go, latanya ♪

Hey! Cut! What's going on over here?

There she is! She tied me up!

What did you do to my star?

No. See, what happened was--

Who are you?

I'm latanya, all right?

What are you?

I'm the new star.

I'm the star.

No, you ain't no-- I'm the star, ok?

I want you off my set.

Wait! I can't be off this set,

'Cause she got me by the legs.

Will you call security?

Call security. Will you call security, please?

I thought we was just groovin'! We was just groovin'!

We was just groovin'! Wait. Hold on.

Out! Out!

[Chris crying]

I'm gonna be back!

Chris: latanya!

I'm gonna take-- this is gonna be my show!

Why?!

Latanya!

Nick cannon.

Nick cannon.

Nick.

Hey, you know,

Since I took over nickelodeon,

And I'm the president and everything like that,

You know, I got to make sure every aspect of the network is on key,

And especially the jingle.

You know, the jingle is cool.

♪ Nick, nick, nick, nick, n-nick, nick, nick ♪

That's hot and everything, but I need something with a little more soul,

Something a little more spectacular.

That's why I thought I'd ask a favor of my homegirls lw,

See if they could help me out.

♪ La la la la la, la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪♪ la la la la la ♪

♪ La ♪ ♪ la ♪

♪ La ♪ ♪ la ♪ ♪ la la la ♪

[Off-key] ♪ la la la la la la la ♪

How you all doin'? How's lw?

All right, so I'm the president

Of nickelodeon now and everything,

So if you all need y'all videos played

Or anything like that, done deal.

Are you serious?

What you want? You want wednesday? Wednesday?

Yeah. On wednesday.

L-wednesdays.

L-wednesdays!

I like that.

But, you know, the reason why I came down here and everything...

Uh, I need a new jingle for nickelodeon.

But I see there's a piano over there,

So I think we could go over there and set something up

And come up with a jingle.

It's all good.

I told you, I'm taking over.

All right, y'all, so we at the piano.

We about to create this jingle--

The new nickelodeon jingle. Y'all ready?

I'm thinking, like, maybe we can go to church with them.

[Playing piano]

Whoo!

[Gospel style] ♪ nick, yeah ♪

♪ Nick, nick, nick ♪

Sing it, girl!

♪ Nickelodeon ♪

♪ Ni-i-i-ick ♪

That--that was hot, but, you know,

That might be a little bit too much,

You know what I mean?

Listen, opera would be off the hook.

[High-pitched, off-key] ♪ nick ♪

Wait. Wait. Maybe not the opera.

Maybe if we did, like, some hip-hop.

[Beatboxing]

♪ Oh, yeah, it's nick ♪

♪ Nick for ya ♪

♪ On nick ♪

♪ N-n-nick ♪

Nah. That might be a little bit too much.

Wait. Like, some calypso or something like that.

[Playing piano]

♪ Nick, nick, nick, nick, nick, nick ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, it's nick, nick, nick, nick ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

It's just not-- it's not clicking for me.

I need something like...

How about we bring some latin flavor up into this?

♪ Oh, nick, a-nick, nick, nick, nick, nick, nick, nick ♪

♪ Nick, a-nick ♪

Ok, we said the words.

Wait. I don't think that's it.

Maybe if we just do, like, some -part harmony--

Something hot.

You know, just like a capella style.

Harmony. All right.

And I got the--ok.

All right, all right.you got it?

Yes. [Plays note]

♪ Nick ♪♪ nick ♪

♪ Nick ♪

Together: ♪ cannon ♪

♪ On nickelodeon ♪

Ooh! That was good! That was it!

That's your new jingle.

Nick.

Nick, nick.

All right, you guys. We had a great show tonight, man.

I want to thank everybody who helped me take over nickelodeon,

Like my man will smith, you know, lw,

And all my friends over at nickelodeon.

But hey, I'm gonna talk to you guys next time.

It's nick cannon, taking over. I'm out, baby. Peace.

Captioning made possible by nickelodeon and u.s. Department of education

Captioned by the national captioning institute --www.ncicap.org--

♪ Nick, nick, nick, n-nick, nick ♪

♪ Nick, nick, nick, n-nick, nick ♪

♪ Nick, nick, nick, n-nick, nick ♪

♪ Nick, nick, nick, n-nick, nick ♪

♪ First name, first, first ♪

♪ First name, nick ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪

♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪

♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪

♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪

♪ To my ladies, take this party over ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Or to my dogs, take this party over ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪

♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪

♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪

♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪

♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪

♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪

♪ To my ladies, take this party over ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Or to my dogs, take this party over... ♪

Not many people know this,

But my man will here is one of the greatest freestyle rappers ever.

You gonna do a little freestyling?

Freestyle? You want to-- hey, we got the human biz beatbox.

♪ Hey, clap your hands, jump on with nick cannon ♪

♪ The one and only, you don't know me ♪

♪ But I'm chillin' with my homey ♪

♪ Big will and biz markie ♪

♪ Biz markie, high class ♪

♪ You know, we got it like that ♪

♪ And he's a man in black ♪

♪ The one that keep on runnin' ♪

♪ And takin' it to the next level ♪

♪ I got the treble here, biz got everything else ♪

♪ Then we ride and we hot, dog, we did not stop ♪

♪ Like that, I'm gonna do the cabbage patch dance ♪

♪ You don't have what you wanna ♪

♪ And then I'm gonna take it all the way today ♪

♪ You go one for the treble ♪

♪ For the bass ♪ ♪ bass ♪

♪ Me and nick cannon 'bout to rock this place ♪

♪ Take it from outside, outside in the street ♪

♪ Into the inside, biz mark rocking the beat ♪

♪ We 'bout to do it ♪

♪ I think the biz something like this ♪

♪ Today they call me will smith ♪

♪ But in the past, fresh prince ♪

♪ But now I'm in the place ♪

♪And I'm having some fun ♪

♪ My man, the nick cannon show ♪

♪ 'Bout to get the job done ♪

Yo!

♪ We takin' over ♪