01x08 - Max Courage!/The Time Hole Incident/Christmas Con Carne

[bunniefuu]

Once upon a time, there was a

Jillionare playboy who was

Blown up in a tremendous
expl*si*n.

His brain survived [stomach,
too]

And was attached to the body of

A stupid circus bear.

I am that brain.

My name is hector con carne,

And I will one day rule

The world

Nice driving, son.

I'm so lucky to have
one great kid.

Yup, I'm one proud father.

Ahem.

Ahem!
Ahem!

Rascal! How could I ever
forget about you?

So, dad,
where are we going?

We're heading
for bunny island

To visit an old
friend of mine

And to have a look at
a new secret invention!

Pull up to the island
slowly, max.

That's right, baby.
I'll shave your back.

Nice landing, son!

I'm proud of you.

Let's go!

Dr. Ghastly,
my old friend!

Howdy, dr. Courage.

This is my son, max.

And who's the furry-looking
weasel next to you?

Oh, that's just
my stepson, d*ck.

Realson,
rick!

That's nice.

Welcome to
bunny island!

Ghastly: this is
my lab, where all
my work is done.

This way, gentlemen!

Nice curtains!

[Labored breathing]

Ah-choo!

[Sniffing]

Man: shoo! Go away!

Grrrrrr!

Max: rascal?

Rascal,
where are
you?

Now, the moment
we've all
waited for!

May I present...

The w*r machine!

So, what do
you think?

I painted the mean
eyes on it myself.

Ohh! I just can't believe
that you would even create

Something so destructive!

Have you forgotten
everything I taught you?

I do feel guilty
most of the time.

Oh, well!

Guards!

How could you do
such a thing?

When did you
become so evil?

Man's voice:
and to answer
that question...

Iam responsible
for that!

Hector con carne!

We meet again,
dr. Courage.

Heh heh heh heh!

I should have known!

It is very fortunate
that you're here,
doctor.

Now you can help
ghastly finish
the w*r machine

So I can dominate
the world!

Absolutely not!

There's nothing you can do
to make me change my mind.

Ahhhhh!

Nope, nothing.

Ahhhhhhhh!

I won't help you.

Ahhhhhhhh!

Ok, ok. I'll do
whatever you want!

We're not gonna
make it, are we?

Nope! Sure won't.

He'll probably
t*rture us first

By sticking huge sharp
needles into our eyes,

And then tear off
all our skin

And feed our faces
to rabid pandas!

What? I don't want
to be fed to pandas!

[Sobbing]

[Soft coughing sounds]

Rascal!

We're trapped
in here, boy!

We need you to get the key!

They're over there!

Ready, boy?

Go get the key!

Man: hey!
What are you doing?

Give me those keys!

Hey, I can't see!

Good job, rascal!

What happened to you,
dr. Ghastly?

When did you become so bent
on taking over the world?

You don't understand!

I was young,
I was in college...

I didn't know
any better!

Besides,
hector's not evil.

He's just
misunderstood.

Wait a second...

Why didn't I see it before?

You want to smack lips
with the brain!

[Kissing sounds]

[Gasp]

I...do...nah...not!

Uh, I gotta...
I gotta...go.

Uh...

What the heck
is that?
What?

[Splash]psst, dad!

Max!
You're safe!

Ohh, what about
me, dad?

I was your
firstborn!

All I want
is a little
recognition!

Please. Hurry, rascal!

Thanks, boy!

Ready to go, dad?

Sure am, d*ck!

It's rick!

The prisoners have escaped!

[Alarm blares]

Skarr!
What's going on?

We've detected
dr. Courage
in the basement,

Trying to make
his escape.

d*ck?

Uh, rick!

There's only one person
with enough courage

To drive us out of
this danger.

They're getting away!

Release the frogmen!

That's it! Ghastly!

Launch the w*r machine!

I can't believe we're
putting our lives

In the hands
of a weasel!

Max: what was that?

Dr. Courage:
it's hector's w*r machine!

Sir, we have
them in range.

Good! Fire a few
warning shots first.

Rick: admit it, dad.
You even like rascal
more than me.

Dr. Courage: now isn't
the time for this, nick.

It's rick!

Now! Hit them with
everything we've got!

We are at full power.

Hector: then fire at will!

That's it! I'm driving!

I'm gonna
make you proud, dad!

Another plan
down the toilet.

"I'm gonna make you
proud, dad."

Sheesh!

So, supreme leader,

What is it
this time?

What is what?

Your brilliant
new plan.

Patience, my dear skarr.

All in good time.

Oh, let me guess.

Skarr:
a hypnosis beam.

Hector: nope.

Robot k*ller shrimp.

No.

I'm sure it would
just end up being
another disaster, anyway.

Ah ha!

There it is.

All will be revealed
momentarily, general.

Ah, major dr. Ghastly!

Welcome, gentlemen.

I have just
completed
modifications

On the temporal
confabulationater
izationizer...unit.

And what exactly is that?

That, general skarr,

Is a one-of-a-kind,
custom-built,

State-of-the-art
time machine!

Oh. How original.

This is the time
control console.

It has pretty buttons
and dials.

We shall program the machine
to return us to the past.

So we can stop my body
from being blown up!

[Thinking]
hmm, I have
a better idea.

I shall go back
even further
than they do

And stop hector
from ever
being born!

[Laughing
diabolically]

Hey.

Uh, I was
just remembering
a naughty limerick.

Yes. Heh heh.

Skarr: major doctor,

I thought you said
this island was
uninhabited.

It is.

Then where is
that smoke
coming from?

Hey! This is
a no-smoking island!

[Grunts]

This tasty stew
wasn't here before.

At last!

We've been waiting for you!

[All gasp]

Old hector: and so,

We activated
the time machine

And we went back
in time



It worked!

Oh, yes, yes,

But skarr was
too stupid

To bring the jet
back with us.

We've been stuck here
for 30 years,

Waiting for your arrival.

Old skarr:
hee hee hee hee.

I've been wearing
the same underwear

For 30 years!

Ha ha ha ha!

But we have a jet.

We can take you home
with us.

No.

We're happy here now,

Coconut farming
and raising our baby.

[Distant baby crying]

Excuse me.

So you and the chief?

That's right.

Along came our
little bundle of joy,

Destructicus con carne.

Awww--oh!

[Muffled]
he's got quite a grip.

Hee hee hee hee!

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

If you're thinking
that you hate everyone

And everything,
then yes.

No!

Our plan.

Go back in time

And erase hector
from history.

Shh!

Keep your voice down,
old man.

I could work
the controls

And send you back
to knock off hector.

That's not a bad idea.

[Both laughing]

Are you ready, general?

All systems go,
general.

I will now activate!

[Bones creaking]

[Grunting]

[Muttering]

Hector:
what is going on?

This will teach you not
to mess with my fathers.

It's destructicus,

And he's all grown-up!

Old skarr here has been
tampering with the equipment.

Who the heck is that?

Destructicus!

Well-done, son.

"Son"?!

The time machine
must be destroyed.

Stand back, everyone.

How did you
get here, honey?

I invented
the time machine
wristband,

So I could
come back in time

And save my fathers
from old skarr.

You could stay here
with us.

I must go back
to the future,
mother.

They need me there.

Good-bye, sweetie.

Good-bye, father.

Good-bye, son.

Good-bye,
other mom and dad.

Ruh-rye!

See you
in the future.

That's our boy.

This is ludicrous!

I'm so confused!

How could they
possibly have
a baby?

The miracle of love,
chief.

Love, schmove!

Let's go home.

Ghastly: I could rebuild
the time machine, chief.

No more tinkering
with the time travels.

It's too dangerous
and confusing.

There they go.

No strange aftereffects
from the time warps.

[Distant groan]

Can you help us?
We are losted.

And skarr needs
to go potty.

[Groans]
I hate time travel.

[g*nsh*t, scream]

Ah, christmas.

Everyone looks
forward to the holidays.

But can you imagine for a moment
christmas never happening?

Well, I remember
long ago a christmas
that almost wasn't

In a place called
the north pole.

♪ La la la

♪ La la la

♪ La la la la la

♪ La la la
la la la... ♪

Elf: over here.

Second elf:
I got one.

So, are we almost ready?

Hector: yes, master.

h* h*. Splendid.

Soon children all
over the world will...

Wait a second.

Aren't you a little
tall to be an elf?

In fact, I don't
think I know you.

Maybe this
will help.

Attack!

Fire
the snowballs!

Protect the presents!

You, monster.

Sorry, santa.

[Yelling]

Chief?

Hector: yes, major doctor.

I am now santa claus.

h* h* h* h*.

This will work perfectly.

No one will be
able to stop me.

[Evil laughter]

Now that I've been
successfully inserted
into santa's body,

My troops can
proceed with inserting
the mind-control devices.

I will have
an unstoppable army.

I got to do something.







Million.

Rupert,
something terrible
has happened.

Someone has taken
over santa's mind
and the north pole.

They plan to put
mind-controlling
devices

In all the presents
to take over
the world.

That doesn't concern me.

Ever since the other
reindeer shun me from
playing any reindeer games,

I've chosen to live
here in isolation.

Aw, don't
you see, rupert?

Now is your
chance to shine.

You could go down in
history as the reindeer
that saved christmas.

[Dumbbell drops]

Huh?

Aw, man, that is
one ugly christmas tree.

Hey, friedrich,

Come take a look at
this really, ugly christmas...

Major doctor: he said it's
nothing to worry about.

He said the strange bumps
will go away with time.

You don't know
how relieved I was.

Hector: keep those
mind-controlling
devices a-coming.

[Alarm blares]

Stop that deer!

Fire the snowballs!

Oh, ow.

Ha ha ha.

Now, with you
out of the way,

There's nothing to
stop me from taking
over the world.

Ha ha ha ha!

Take control of yourself, santa.

Fight his mind control.

It's no use.

Santa claus is
completely under
my control.

Come on, santa.
I know you can hear me.

The children of the world
are depending on you.

Wh-what's happening?

The children.

I'm taking my body back.

Guards, attack!

Fall back to the ship.

Hector: we've got
to deliver the toys
to the children.

Rupert, the toys.
They're loaded with
mind-control devices.

These people have no honor.

Ha ha ha ha!

I'll just have to drop
the toys off myself.

[Yells]

Rupert!

Guards,
stop him!

Merry christmas, suckers.

[Boom]

Rupert, with your
muscles and might,

Won't you guide
my sleigh tonight?

It will be my honor.

Elf: yay.

Snowman: and so ends the story
of christmas that almost wasn't.

But what happened to hector?

Coal again this year.

Santa: h* h* h*.

Merry christmas!

Bah. I always liked
halloween better anyways.