02x29 - Bed of Roses

[bunniefuu]

Good evening.

I have here the very latest in weapons.

It shoots tranquilizing capsules.

It's quite harmless, really.

When hit, the victim becomes docile and
can easily be captured.

As you might expect, this g*n is quite
popular among law enforcement officers,

big game hunters, and unprincipled
bachelors.

So much for the sporting life.

Tonight's story is about
a man who finds himself

in trouble because
of a past indiscretion.

It begins in one agonizing minute.



Twenty dollars all you got.

Well, I got 80 cents in change.

All you people.

Why don't you tell a driver when you get
in you got a big bill, huh?

Well, I can't bust this, buddy.

I'm not a bank, I got a boss.

I'm not in this for my health.

Turn your meter back on and drive me
somewhere where I can get some change.

You can charge me for it.

There's no place open around here at
midnight.

Don't pay anything, just get out.

We're gone.

Boy.

I keep the whole thing.

You're kidding.

Darling?

Good morning, Mr. Maxwell.

Will you have breakfast this morning?

Will you have breakfast this morning?

No, coffee is fine, thank you.

Now, what's so important that you can't
look up and say good morning to your wife?

Nothing.

Morning.

That all?

Well, the honeymoon is over, isn't it?

That's better.

Now, let me see what you're reading.

Come on, now, let me see.

Celeste!

Oh, dear.

That's awful.

Poor girl.

Yes, ma'am.

We'll have a grapefruit and coffee.

See, that's already here.

Well, a muffin.

Or whatever other roll we have.

And Mr. Maxwell will have the same thing.

Oh, and bring him four-minute egg,
too.

Yes, ma'am.

It is too early in the morning for all
that.

You can have it back.
I just want to sight a page.

Mr. Rankin said that she
was gone... Oh, there it is.

Mr. and Mrs. George Maxwell return from
wedding trips.

Hey, look.

She spelled daddy's name wrong.

Oh, he'd be mad.

Oh, pour me a coffee, George.

You have an early appointment this
morning?

Well, I thought I'd go down to the
office...

and put up some of the things that have
piled up since we went away.

Oh, George.

Oh, George.

Celeste!

You are so silly, clumsy, George.

You are practically accident-prone.

Hmm.

Now, that poor thing sure was pretty,
wasn't she?

Oh, it's all right, Celeste.

Practically cleaned up.

Newspaper soaked it up.

Well, I guess at that time... we got
some of these wedding presents put away.

We'll do that first thing in the morning,
Celeste.

Oh, today my daddy's gonna send me down...

two boys from the docks to help me out in
the yard.

Hey, George.

Why don't you stay home from work and help
me landscape?

Well, I have an appointment with your
father.



Oh, daddy'll let you off.

Eat your haggie, George.

Oh, no.

No, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

We got a wedding present to open your
haggie with.

Hey, now, isn't that the cutest thing you
ever did see?

Mrs. Carroll sent it from Los Angeles.

It works just like this.

Oh, it's too hard.

Celeste!

Celeste, this isn't any for me today.

Now, you take it back and bring him
another one.

Oh, well.

You should eat your grapefruit first,
anyway.

Well, it's too cold.

Celeste always serves them too
cold on purpose... just to annoy me.

She always has ever seen time as knee-high
to a grasshopper.

Why, George, you weren't listening to me.

Hey, why were you thinking about with that
serious look on your face?

You really want to know?

Well, I asked you, didn't I?

If I didn't want to know, I wouldn't ask.

I was thinking about growing a mustache.

A mustache?

Why, George.

Hey, let me see.

Well, ah.

Well, it sure makes you look different.

Hey, you know, I never kissed a man with a
mustache.

Oh, I bet it tickles like the dickens.

There's my daddy.

Hey, Celeste, bring me another cup of
coffee.

Morning, daddy.

There's my baby.

How are you, sugar?

Morning, daddy.

You got a nice cup of coffee for your
daddy?

Morning, George.

Morning, Mr. Hardwicke.

Bessie made a whole batch of molasses
cookie.

Need if they wouldn't hear of it lest I
brought you some.

Taking good care of my baby?

Well, you don't hear me complaining,
do you?

I just want to know how you were doing.

Oh, well, daddy, you know how newlyweds
are.

We haven't been doing nothing yet.

Hey, you are going to send me down to boys
town in the yard, aren't you?

Sure am.

Morning, Celeste.

Morning, Mr. Hardwicke.

You taking good care of these kids?

Good as I can, Mr. Hardwicke.

Good as I can.

Well, you'd better get down to the office.

Hey, aren't you going to eat your new
Aggie?

I didn't want it in the first place.

I'll see you at the office, Mrs. Hardwicke.

George, I wish you'd wear something
besides a black tie today.

I mean, you're not going to a funeral.

You want an haggie, daddy?

No, no, no thanks.

Well... no sense
letting it go to waste.

So, we're having gumbo tonight and we're
dressing for dinner.

I'll tell your mother.
She'll be real pleased.

Mavis!

Mavis!

Who?

What's wrong with the garage door?

It won't open.

Well, are you...

are you sure you're doing it right?

Yes, Mavis.

Well, daddy can take you down to work and
then I'll have William fix it.

Catch, daddy.

Daddy says yes.

And then I'll come down and pick you up
later.

Daddy will be ready as soon as he finishes
his coffee.

I'm pleased to see you making Mavis so
happy, George.

I'm not blind.

I know she's not the brightest girl on the
block.

Neither was her mother.

We all know a man's eye wanders.

Man's eye was made to wander.

But discretion is the word I hope you'll
always bear in mind.

Insist, you remember.

Discretion.

I was given this same talk by Edomay's
father about 30 years ago.

And I've always been true to my word.

If for any reason my Mavis is hurt,

comes to her daddy crying
with tears in her eyes.

Her daddy is quite capable of taking giant
steps to eliminate that hurt.

Son.

Good morning, Mr. Maxwell.

Morning, Miss Hinchley.

Yes?
- Any calls?

Nothing yet this morning, Mr. Maxwell.

Coffee this morning?

A tea?
We have alfalfa mint.

Thank you.

Yes?

What do you want, Miss Hinchley?

There's someone here to see you,
Mr. Maxwell.

He says it's very important.

He won't give me his name or say what it's
about.

He just said to give you this.

I told him you were busy.

Show him in.

Yes, sir.

Morning, Mr. Maxwell.

Remember me?

What can I do for
you, Mr... Mr. Kirby.

Sam Kirby.

Surprised to see me?

$20 is an awful big tip.

I've been feeling guilty about it all
morning.

I said to myself after I had my coffee and
read the morning paper, if I had any

gumption, I'd find you and settle up with
you.

I'm sorry.

Well, that's very decent of you.

Yeah, wasn't hard to find you.

I keep a record of where I pick passengers
up and drop them off.

I just parked on the corner where I picked
you up and waited.

Sure enough, saw you riding to work in
that big car.

Followed you here and asked a few
questions.

Mostly the answer I got is the man that
married the boss's daughter.

Mind if I sit down?

Phew.

Sure is going to be hot today.

What do you want?

Sure is awful about that girl,
isn't it?

A day or some other.

You got a match, Mr. Maxwell?

Police are searching for a camera.

A cab driver who was seen
bringing a man who may have

been the k*ller to the house
shortly before midnight.

Mrs. Helen Smith told
police she was watching

television when she saw
a cab driver up next door.

She saw a man get out and the cab drive
away.

They're questioning every cab driver in
the city.

Alphabetically.

Sooner or later they're bound to get to
the case.

What do you want?

I want to be able to tell the police with
a clear conscience.

Why, no, sir.

I did not take a Mr. George Maxwell to


What would it take to clear that
conscience?

Oh.

Bigger tip than $20 I bet.

Yeah, I got four kids, you know.

One in high school.

The baby's only two and he's
been coveting for a long time a

rockin' horse he saw in the store
made out of pure palomino hair.

Does your heart good, Mr. Maxwell,
to give your kids expensive presents?

I didn't k*ll a devil woman.

I didn't say you did.

Now, I didn't insinuate that.

But the police might read into it some
connection if they knew you had been there.

You like to fish, Mr. Maxwell?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, I just love to fish.

I don't ever get to go fishing much
because I have to work so hard and

sometimes when folks are
feeling cheap and not tipping,

well, I swear I don't get
home till way after dark.

But the only thing you can do after dark
in that department is to go gig for frogs.

That's not near as much
fun as lying on a bank with an

old straw hat on and a
couple of lines in the water.

I always did want to have me a place
across the lake, Slidell, maybe, Covington.

I asked around this morning how much an
old place like that would cost.

Mm-hmm.

How much?

About a thousand a month.

A thousand a month?

A thousand a month.

Get out of here.

Now, I always thought you were a
sportsman.

Well, I'd hate to see you get
hooked on that trot line and

the police haul you in and
fry you up like an old fish.

Of course, there's several other hooks I
can bait before that happens.

What do you mean?

Everything's probably in adjoint account
from what I hear anyway, isn't it?

Oh, the daddy still control it all.

Come to think of it, I've been talking to
the littlest fish in the pond, haven't I?

You wouldn't dare.

Tell you what, I do want to be fair.

I give you a six o'clock tonight to think
it over.

Weigh it up and down the pros and cons to
change your mind.

I don't think my price will go up before
then, but I wouldn't swear to that.

I'll be having three whiskey at this bar
between six and six forty-five,

and if I were you, I'd be there to pay for
at least one of them.

Otherwise, I have to bait that old hook
again and do some other casting around.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

It'll have to be pretty deep, Mr. Maxwell.

Well, then it'll have to be pretty deep,
William.

That's good ground.

Yep, real rich.

Rose ought to do real good.

George!

Hey, I thought you were going to call me
to come pick you up.

How'd you get here?

I pick a bus.

A bus?

What's the matter, George?

What's the matter, George?

You running a fever?

Honey, I think we better talk.

Let's go to the game room.

All right.

Oh, William fixed the garage door.

I was just stuck.

Hey, you want a cold drink?

Something stronger?

Nope.

Now, what's the matter, sugar?

Well, a man came to see me this morning.

A cab driver by the name of Kirby.

He says he can identify
me as the man he drove

to Adele Beaumont's
house last night at midnight.

George!

He threatened to go to the police.

Of course, first and foremost,
he's interested in money.

Well, what did you do?

I kicked him out of the office.

Did he go to the police?

No, no, no, of course not.

Said if I wouldn't come across with a
thousand a month, maybe you would.

I wanted to tell you, because
you might be hearing from

him, and I wanted you to
know what it was all about.

George?

Was there any truth in what he said?

George?

Uh-huh.

But I didn't k*ll her.

I knew Adele a long time ago, long before
I met you.

I knew her in Hollywood, and we were both
trying to get into the movies.

You know, we were always sort of drifting
into each other.

You know what I mean?

I mean, whoever was down
and out could always count

on the other one for a
good meal or a place to stay.

Here's some letters she wrote me.

Well, I don't want to see them.

Okay.

When she came to New Orleans, the day we
got back from our honeymoon, she wrote me

a note, said it was urgent, and said she
had to see me right away.

Arranged to me her last night.

I was going to drive over, but the garage
door jammed.

So you took a cab.

George?

Why didn't you tell me about her?

She had nothing to do with us.

How much does that Kirby want?

Every penny you can get, I guess.

Well, you told me how much.
How much?

A thousand dollars a month?
Is that what you said?

I'm not so sure that's the right thing to
do.

Well, what else would you suggest,
George?

I could go to the police and tell them the
truth.

I'm innocent.

I didn't k*ll her.

The daughter of Alva Hardwicke makes
headlines in this town, George.

Now, I am not going to drag my daddy's
name through that kind of mud.

His son-in-law is not going to be involved
in a m*rder.

Now, I don't like the idea of blackmail
any more than you do.

But I can afford that a lot more than I
can afford that other thing.

Now, you got any way of getting in touch
with this Kirby?

Uh-huh.

They told me to meet him at a bar at six.

Good.

You meet him and you tell him to come back
here after midnight.

We'll discuss terms then, after our dinner
gets gone.

Now, George, why don't you have a drink or
lie down?

Go out and play golf.

I'll do something to take your mind off
this, huh?

We have now arrived at the very heart and
center of this hour.

The station break.

This is the moment when we part the
curtain of television and let the local

stations shine through, after which we
should continue.

Betty Jane thinks maybe a rest home or a
hospital.

That's what she told Cindy in Amy Lou.

I said I'd go to bus to Russia rather
than...

right, mister?

That's right, lady.

You come and meet Betty Lou and tell her I
said so.

Anything you say, lady.

Good.

Give my friend a drink.

Come on, Lulu, darling.
You've had enough.

Go on home.

What's so funny?

Give my friend a drink.

Come on, Lulu, time to go.

Come on, darling.

Oh, no, I don't want to go.

No, no, no.

It's too early.

Just in time to buy the third one,
Mr. Maxwell.

Change your mind?

I talked to my wife.

Oh, I made a move, you made a move.

You are a bit of a sportsman, after all.

And?

We want to talk to you.

Of course.

Good. When?

Tonight.

At our house after midnight.

Why so late?

We're having guests after they leave.

You want a drink?

Just hit me, Pedro.

All right.

All right, the address is


It's the old Hardwicke place.

I'll be sure and pack your car at least a
block away.

Oh, sure.

Sure.

Seems that, uh, just one
day, police have turned up a

lot of very influential men
knew that Beaumont girl.

You did real good with this pie,
maybe.

Well, it's your recipe, Mama.

It's real good.

It's real pretty, that girl.

Did you see that picture they took in
Hollywood?

Alva didn't maybe do good with this pie.

Fine, fine.

Good Lord.

It is nearly midnight.

We've been sitting here that long.

Well, we have to go, Alva.

We never sat down till 10.30.

Can I have another cup of coffee,
Mama?

No.

I can't have you pacing out on the veranda
till 3 in the morning.

Come on, now.

I have a big day tomorrow.

Rummage sale in the morning.

Bridge club in the afternoon.

You're coming to Sister Mae's shower,
aren't you, maybe?

Yes, ma'am.

Thank you, Celeste.

Good night.

Sorry, Alva talks so much about m*rder.

So we didn't have a chance to talk about
something more interesting.

Turn on the porch light, George.

Good night, baby.

Good night, Mama.

Good night, George.

Night.

Night, George.

Good night, sugar.

I didn't realize I was playing with a
professional.

Boss' daughter buy you this pool table?

Well, I thought we were going to talk.

Well, I want the boss' daughter to hear
it.

Soon as she gets back with the coffee.

Then I was right about everything in a
joint account, huh?

Yeah.

You know, I've been thinking.

I like Covedon better than Slidell.

For fishing.

A little bit more expensive, though.

I wouldn't get carried away, allow you.

Oh, a thousand will do.

For a start.

Sure you want to have a drink?

No, just coffee.

Oh, here we are.

Oh, Mr. Kirby, you take cream and sugar in
your coffee?

No, ma'am, I drink it black.

We've been waiting on you to talk,
ma'am.

I was just telling Mr. Maxwell here about
how well I like to fish.

Oh, I like to fish, too.

Coffee, George?

No, no, thanks.

Well, then I don't
think we'll have any real

big problems understanding
each other, do you?

Oh, I don't see why.

Oh, would you like a molasses cookie with
your coffee, Mr. Kirby?

I don't mind if I do.

My daddy's best, he makes the best
molasses cookies I ever tasted.

Oh!

Quick now, help me get him off the table.

Well, come on, he's gonna stain up the
felt.

George, help me!

Help me get him outside.

Help me, George!

Give me that shovel.

You tried to k*ll him all along.

Please, George, I don't want to talk about
it.

You've got to dig this hole.

For the rose trees, George.

Come on, help me with the roses.

What's that?

Oh, it's all right.

It's just someone turned around our
driveway.

Why, these old thorns.

Oh, you are such a baby, George.

Now let's get this over with.

It hurts.

You just stand back there on the way.

Well, now they look real nice there.

You remind me to write Aunt
Claire in the morning and thank

her for a sweet idea to give
us a living wedding present.

Oh, come on, George.

Now, George, wasn't anything that bad?

Mavis.

What, sugar?

Last night.

Yes, George?

Last night you told me you were going to
Sister Mae's shower.

Now tonight you told your mom you were
going tomorrow.

I didn't think you caught that,
George.

Where were you last night, Mavis?

I love you, George.

And I don't intend to share you with
anyone, even with old friends.

You k*lled Adele.

Oh, you weren't the only one she got in
touch with.

The only one she thought she could get a
couple of bucks out of.

Oh, I got a note to meet her last night,
too.

And when I got there, well, she told me
some things about you, George.

They got my goat.

My daddy shouldn't know.

Well, then when she told me that she was
expecting you later, first thing I knew,

my hard-wicked temper got the better of
me.

You jammed the garage door.

And then I got so nervous, I took a
sleeping pill.

And it dawned on me that you'd take a cab.

George, you haven't got any more around
like her anywhere, have you?

No.

No, no, Mavis.

Morning, sugar.

You've been sleeping like a dead man.

I've been out in the garden reading the
paper.

George, I want you to wear the new suit I
bought you.

I want you to look as nice as can be
today.

Colorful.

With this tie.

George, it's all fine.

It's all right.

Nobody is ever going to suspect the
Hardwickes.

Or the Maxwells.

Nobody.

It's just you and me now.

And you can blackmail me all you want.

Because I can afford it when it's you.

Well, you better take your shower and get
ready for work.

You don't want to be late.

George, isn't that the reddest rose you
ever did see?

Good morning, George.

Good morning, Hardwicke.

How's my baby?

She's quite a gal, Miss Hardwicke.

Just finding that out, eh?

Good morning, Mr. Maxwell.

Morning.

Yes, Mr. Maxwell?

I will have coffee, Miss Hinchley.

Yes, Mr. Maxwell.

If you have a minute, Mr. Maxwell, there's
something I'd like to talk to you about.

Yes?

I'd like a raise, Mr. Maxwell.

Oh?

Yes, I think I deserve one.

Well... Well, how much of a
raise do you think you deserve?

Well, I'd let you decide that.

You see, George, I know that the man who
came in here yesterday morning was Mr.

Kirby.

The cab driver, the newspaper say,
disappeared.

I don't know what you're talking about,
Miss Hinchley.

That man's name was Murphy.

He's a dock worker.
I talked to him about union trouble.

I won the Hardwicke Award as the most
efficient secretary in the building last year.

It was no mistake that Mr. Hardwicke
assigned me to you.

You see, I have a tape recording of your
conversation with Mr. Kirby.

A tape recording?

Mr. Hardwicke keeps a very close eye,
as well as ear, on all of his employees.

His son-in-law is no exception.

Do you mean this room is bugged?

Well, only when I turn it on.

It's off right now.

It was a very interesting conversation,
George.

I transcribed it and typed you up a copy
to refresh your memory.

Then I put the tape away in my safety
deposit box.

I want a raise.

And a little more attention paid to me.

You didn't even notice my new dress.

Or my new hairstyle.

I think you could start noticing that kind
of thing, George.

If you don't, I... I might take
the recording to Mr. Hardwicke.

Or the police.

Essentially, you are a caution.

I'm sure the police would agree.

Oh, yes, that is a very, very pretty
dress.

I'm glad you like it.

Essentially... Martha.

Martha.

I suppose I have been a little too
indifferent and businesslike.

Well, not paying too much attention.

But I've had a lot on my mind.

Have you ever met my wife?

No, I've only seen her from the window.

Well, I told her maybe I'd have lunch with
her today.

How would you like to come along?

You can meet her and have some leftover
gumbo.

And we can talk about your rate right
there at the house.

At the Hardwicke place?

One of the showplaces of the South.

Oh, I know.

I've seen pictures of it in the magazines.

Martha, do you like molasses cookies?

Yes.

Well, Mr. Hardwicke's Bessie makes the best
molasses cookies in town.

Hello, darling.

Get the molasses cookies out, honey.

We're going to have a guest for lunch.

Oh, and I thought I'd stop by the nursery
and pick up four more rose trees.

You might have William go ahead and start
digging the bed.

Yes, dear.

That's right.

One always wonders what happens after the
curtain falls on a play.

In this case, the police
became intrigued by the way the

Maxwells kept subtracting
people and adding rose bushes.

An investigator managed to
dig up some rather damaging

evidence that sent the
Maxwells away for life.

One further footnote.

At the next flower show, the Kirby rose
won first place.

In regard to the
medical use of firearms,

there have been some
disturbing developments.

For example, some people have been playing
Russian roulette.

Putting a b*llet in one chamber and
aspirin in the other five.

Of course, in either case, it cures the
headache and that's what really matters.

And now a commercial and some scenes from
our next production.