["Alfred Hitchcock" theme music]
- Good evening.
Fellow citizens, I am now about
to launch another campaign.
My party chose this
as their platform.
It is a very practical party.
I have always thought it
was much more dignified
to stand for a seat than
to run for an office.
But if it is necessary to run,
then I say be as
comfortable as possible.
By the way, I'm not
looking for an honest man.
That would be rather absurd
on a political campaign.
In order to conserve funds,
I'm also doubling as brake man.
[steam whistle toots]
During my absence, our players
will present Water's Edge,
a story which is as far
removed from politics
as one could get.
It begins in a prison.
It concerns thieves and
murderers, but most of all
it concerns an uncontrollable
lust for money.
And money reminds me
of this next item.
[dramatic music]
[Mike coughing]
- [Guard] You okay, Krause?
- I'm all right.
[Mike coughing]
- Mike?
- [Mike] Yeah.
- [Rusty] You ought to see
a doc about that cough.
- I'm okay, I don't
need no doctor.
- [Rusty] You hear from Helen?
- She's over in Haynesville.
Got a job as a waitress.
- That's a great girl.
for a dame to wait for a guy.
- She'll wait.
She'll wait, Rusty.
- Can't figure you out, Mike.
You look like an honest John.
Never figure you
to pull off a heist
and knock off your best friend.
- Will you forget it?
You keep playing that record.
Now will you forget it, Rusty?
[Mike coughing]
- Mike.
- Yeah.
- Tell me about Helen again.
- Helen, she had long,
blonde, soft hair.
And her legs.
She had the greatest pair
of legs you've ever seen.
There was a lake two or three
miles out of Norton Center.
We used to go out there
in the summertime.
Helen would swim.
Oh, she loved to
swim in that lake.
In the summer,
she'd get all brown.
She was beautiful.
Rusty, she was the
best-lookin' doll
I ever saw in my whole life.
Sometimes I'd get two or
three bottles of beer.
We'd go out to the lake.
The moon would be up.
Pine needles all soft.
Just the two of us.
Couldn't hear anything around.
Maybe hear a bird.
Sometimes a cowbell jingling.
You hear me, Rusty?
I'll tell you there's
nothing in the world
like having a
good, lovin' woman.
- [Guard] All right,
you guys, knock it off.
- Hey, Ed.
- Bed six over in the corner.
- Yeah, I can see that.
What is it, the flu?
- Well, it was, but the doc
says it's the pneumonia now.
- How is he?
- He might make it,
he might not, depends.
- [Rusty] On what?
- The big guy.
[Mike coughing]
- It's Rusty, Mike.
- Hiya, pal.
- How they treatin' you, boy?
- Fine, doctor's gonna
fix me up real good.
- Sure, sure, you'll be
out of the bag in no time.
Don't forget Helen's
waitin' for you.
- Yeah, sure.
- Listen, she's been waitin'
out there faithfully for you.
A dame like that
deserves a break.
She's the one that ought
to inherit the money, Mike.
- I don't know anything
about that money.
- Look, it's 56 Gs.
You don't want it to
disappear, do you?
- [Mike] Huh?
- The 56 grand, where is it?
I'll tell Helen.
- Helen?
- She's waited two years.
The money won't do nobody
no good where it is now.
- I ain't gonna die.
- [Rusty] Listen, it ain't
the flu, it's the pneumonia.
- No, no, it ain't, no
- Don't be stupid,
you're gonna croak.
You want Helen to
remember you, don't you?
- I'm gonna get better.
I'll do my time, I'll get out.
- [Rusty] On a
stretcher with a cork.
It's a big six, Mike.
- I tell you I don't know
anything about that money.
- Now don't kid me, kid.
After you pulled that holdup,
you stashed that dough.
Now where is it?
- Never, never find it.
Never find it.
- Why, why won't they find it?
- Because--
- Yeah?
- Because, because Pete
Taylor's still got the money.
[Mike coughing]
- What do you mean Pete
Taylor's still got the money?
You told me that they
couldn't find the body.
[dramatic music]
Hey, Mike.
Hey, Ed.
- Yeah?
- I think he's passed out.
- Hey, you better scram,
I'll call the doctor.
- Yeah.
Hey, anything like
that live around here?
- [Merchant] Nah.
- Where's a guy get a
bite to eat in this town?
- Oh, there are a couple
of places on Main Street.
There's Marie's,
that's a chili parlor.
Al's Lunch, Bright Spot.
- The Bright Spot, huh?
Grub all right there?
- Oh, it ain't bad.
- [Rusty] Where do you eat?
- Home.
[dramatic music]
[upbeat jazzy music]
[dishes clattering]
- [Waitress] Yours, Mister.
- Java.
- [Waitress] Anything with it?
- Nope.
- [Waitress] The
booths are for dinner.
- All right, bring me a
menu and gimme a coffee.
I'm looking for a
Mrs. Helen Krause.
- I'm Helen Krause.
- No, what I mean is I'm
looking for a Helen Krause
used to live in Norton Center.
- I used to live over
in Norton Center.
- This girl was married
to a guy named Mike.
- That's me.
What's this all about?
- I got a message
from your husband.
- Mike's dead.
- Yeah, I know, I was
with him when he died.
- He died in jail.
- [Rusty] That's right, we
were cellmates for two years.
- That so?
- Yeah, my name
is Rusty Connors.
- [Helen] Rusty Connors,
okay, what's the message?
- Well, look we can't talk here.
What time do you get off?
- 7:30.
- [Rusty] All right, I'll
meet you outside the joint.
- Huh uh, there's
an old bandstand out
at the edge of town.
Meet me there.
- Fine.
- You better order something,
the boss is looking.
- Well, what's on the dinner?
- Chicken fried steak.
- Fine, gimme the dinner.
- [Helen] Soup or salad?
- Soup.
[dramatic music]
[Helen shouts]
Cigarette?
- You scared me.
- That's right, I
forgot you don't smoke.
Mike told me.
Mike told me a lot of
things about you, Helen.
You know how it is in stir,
three walls, iron bars.
If you don't talk, you go nuts.
I used to envy Mike a lot.
I had nobody outside
waiting for me.
Did Mike ever talk
to you about me?
I mean, did he ever
write you about me?
- Yeah.
- [Rusty] He was okay.
- He said you was the
best friend he had.
- Oh, Mike was a great
guy in my book, A-one.
He didn't deserve to be stuck
in a lousy hole like that.
- He said the same
thing about you.
- Yeah, well it's the system.
You can't beat the rap
without dough, you know?
You take me, I was just a kid.
I spent four years in the Navy.
I was waiting around
till my pay ran out.
Then a guy offers me a
job in a bookie joint.
One night, they raid the place.
I get handed this suitcase
full of dough, you know,
the day's take, and I get told
to beat it out the back way.
There's this copper
standing there with a g*n,
so I swing the suitcase.
I mean, I didn't
mean to hurt him.
I never pulled no strong
arm stuff in my life.
Anyway, the copper winds
up with a skull fracture,
so you know.
- Sounds like you
got a tough deal.
- Yeah, well so did Mike.
I couldn't figure
him out at first.
He looked like an honest John.
Lunchbox in the morning,
Thursday night at the
bowling alley type.
You'd never figure
Mike to pull a heist
and knock off his best friend.
They never did find Pete
Taylor's body, did they?
- No.
- I bet they looked.
- They looked,
yeah, they looked.
For a whole year they looked.
- Must have been a rough couple
of years on you, huh baby?
- Pretty rough.
- Mike always said
he was framed.
The DA never proved nothin'.
- The DA never proved nothin'.
Somebody said they
saw Mike pick up Pete
in a parking lot
outside the bank.
He had the payroll
money with him.
His car wouldn't start,
so they said Mike
drove off with him.
Nobody ever saw Pete
Taylor again or the money.
Cops found bloodstains
in Mike's car later,
and his r*fle was missing.
That's the evidence.
I swore in court that he spent
the whole afternoon with me,
but it didn't do no good.
He still got 10 years.
- And did two.
- [Helen] And died.
- Was Mike with
you that afternoon?
- No.
[Rusty laughs]
- Then he did knock
off Pete Taylor?
- I guess.
- And he never confessed
where he put the body?
Never told you where
he hid the dough?
- [Helen] Nope.
- $56,000.
- I saw him once
before the trial.
They beat him up, but he
never told 'em nothin'.
- $56,000.
- $56,000.
- And he never told you nothin'.
- [Helen] Well,
what do you think?
- Well, you were his wife.
Mike was always talkin'
how crazy he was about you.
- Well, you saw that
hash joint where I work.
Does it look like he
told me somethin'?
- Okay, supposing you did find
the dough, what would you do?
Turn it over to the cops?
- What for?
They put Mike away.
They k*lled him.
They let him rot.
- [Rusty] I was there,
they tried to save him.
- Yeah, but it was too late.
Mike paid for that
money with his life.
I'm his widow, it's mine.
- Ours.
- Then he told you
where he hid the money.
- Before Mike croaked,
I mean before he died,
we shared things.
His secrets were mine
and mine were his.
- But he did say somethin'.
- [Rusty] Enough.
- Well, what does that mean?
- I figured if I got out, I'd
come here and talk to you.
We might put things together
and come up with the dough.
is a lot of bread, Helen.
- Why are you cuttin' me in
if Mike told you where
he hid the money?
- Well, I'm a stranger.
People might get ideas
I start snoopin' around.
With your help, maybe
I don't have to snoop.
With what you know and
what I can remember,
we might be able
to go right to it.
- Strictly business?
- Well, not strictly, Helen.
Like I said, Mike
talked about you
for two years in that cell.
After a while, I got
to thinkin' I knew you.
- You know me.
- Two years of Mike talkin'
to me, thinkin' about you.
I was falling in love with
a dame I had never seen.
I kept wantin' a
dame I'd never met.
It was crazy.
[dramatic music]
Two years is a
long time for a guy
who can't do nothin'
but think about it.
[dramatic music]
- [Helen] Honey?
- I'm over here.
- Don't leave me alone, honey.
Nice, huh?
- What?
- [Helen] Like this.
- It's perfect.
- [Helen] Funny, you dreamin'
about me and here we are.
Life's a big surprise.
- That's what it is,
baby, a big surprise.
- You feel like talkin' now?
- Sure.
- [Helen] We better
make some plans.
- That's what I like.
That's what I like,
a practical dame.
- [Helen] Well, if we're
gonna find the money.
- Well, sure, sure, let's talk.
The sooner the better.
- [Helen] I'll heat
us some coffee.
- Let's start at the beginning.
You wanna know what Mike
told me the day he died?
- Yeah.
- He said they'd
never find the money.
He said they couldn't.
- [Helen] Why?
- Because Pete
Taylor's still got it.
- Is that all?
- What do you mean?
- Is that all Mike said to you?
You mean you came all
the way to Haynesville
to find me with just that?
- Honey, it's as plain as
the nose on your kisser.
The money is with
Pete Taylor's body.
- Never mind my nose,
I can find that.
For two years, every cop in
the county has been looking,
and they couldn't find
Pete Taylor's body.
Oh, I might've known.
I thought you had somethin'.
I thought my luck was changin'.
- You stupid?
What are you, stupid?
We got the information.
All we gotta do now is
figure where to look.
- Gee, how easy.
- Well think, will ya?
Use your head.
Where'd the cops look?
- Where didn't they look?
- Your place?
- [Helen] They tore up the
house, including the basement.
- Where else?
- Well, the sheriff
had 'em searching
the woods for a whole month.
All the barns,
deserted farmhouses.
They even dragged the lake.
- We gotta find Pete
Taylor's wife or girlfriend
if he had one.
That's what we gotta do.
- Pete was a bachelor, he
didn't have a steady girl.
He had a shack out at the
lake, and they tore that up.
They even ripped
up the floorboards.
- All right, let's be
intelligent about this thing.
Let's see now, Mike picked
up Pete at the parking lot.
As I get it, you were the
next person to see him, right?
- Right, at home.
- So we gotta figure out how
much time passed from the time
Mike picked up Pete until
the time he got home.
- About three hours.
- All right, then he
couldn't have gone very far.
The body must be
hidden near town.
- Yeah, well that's
what the police figured.
They really did a job.
They dug the ditches,
drained the quarry.
- Well, there's gotta
be an answer somewhere.
Now okay, honey, let's
just take another angle.
Pete Taylor and your
husband were pals, right?
- Yeah.
- For a long time?
- Well, as long as Mike
and me was married.
- [Rusty] They booze
together, they play cards?
- No, no, Mike didn't booze.
Mostly they hunted
and fished together.
Pete had his shack, like I
told you, down at the lake.
- There's gotta be somethin'.
- Well, don't think I haven't
tried to figure it out.
What do you think I've
been doin' for two years?
Two years, there
ain't no answer.
- For 56 grand, there's
gotta be an answer.
Now I want you to tell me
everything that happened
the day that Pete
Taylor got k*lled.
- Why?
- Because there might
be something you forgot
that's very, very important.
- Well, I been over
it and over it.
Now let's see, I was home.
Mike didn't go to work that day.
He said he was gonna bum
around downtown somewhere.
- Was he nervous?
Did he act funny?
- No.
Oh, you mean did he plan it?
- Yeah.
- No.
I think it just happened.
I think he found himself in
the car with all the money,
and it just happened.
- [Rusty] That's not
what the police thought.
- No, no, they said
Mike planned it.
They said Mike
knew it was payday,
and he always went to the bank.
They put the payroll
in a little black box.
They said Mike knew it
and he was in the
parking lot waiting.
- All right, all right, now
Mike must've said something
to you that afternoon
when he got home.
- No, no, he didn't have time.
The squad car was
there in five minutes.
- That fast?
Who tipped 'em?
- I don't know, but somebody
saw Pete drive off with Mike,
and they come for him.
- When's your day off?
- [Helen] Tomorrow.
- You got a car for
rent joint in this town?
- Sure, but what do
we need a car for?
- Because we're going out
to Pete Taylor's shack
on that lake.
We're gonna find
that money, baby.
Don't you worry about that.
- Sure, with a ouija board.
We'll find it tomorrow out
on the water's edge and we'll
just sit down on the beach
and split 28,000 bucks apiece.
- We don't have to split.
This is just a whistle stop
or as we say in television,
a station break.
We shall continue our
journey in just a moment.
[dramatic music]
- All right, shove over.
Is that it?
- That's Taylor's shack.
- Now gimme the flashlight.
All right, come on, let's go.
- You can see what it's like.
You couldn't hide a
dead fly in there.
- All right, inside.
[furniture clattering]
- [Helen] Are you satisfied now?
- No!
When the cops came
and grabbed Mike
at the house, where was he?
- [Helen] Upstairs
in the bathroom.
- Uh huh, go ahead, go ahead.
- He was all muddy.
His hands, even his shoes.
- [Rusty] Well, that's
somethin', isn't it?
- And I remember he was
cleanin' this cut on his hand.
- What do you mean a cut?
- Yeah, a cut, it
was all bloody.
I noticed it, and I said, what
happened to your hand, Mike?
He was halfway up the
stairs, and he stopped.
Then he said somethin' funny.
- You should've
told me this before.
- He said somethin' about rats.
- What do you mean,
a rat bit him?
- No, no, he just said
somethin' about rats.
I couldn't make it out.
- [Rusty] The cops
know about this?
- Oh sure.
The doctor testified in court
he cut his hand with a razor.
They found a razor upstairs
in his bathroom all bloody.
- That's a strange one.
- Yeah, but the DA said it
was to make the police believe
that those bloodstains
in the car seat was his.
- [Rusty] They could've been.
- Rusty?
- Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, first
he talks about rats,
then he goes upstairs and he
cuts his hand with a razor.
Don't you get it?
You don't get it, huh?
You don't get it, huh?
A rat did bite him,
a rat did bite him.
Maybe when he was
getting rid of the body.
But if anyone knew that,
then they'd look for it
where there were rats.
So what does he do?
He opens the wound
with the razor.
- It may be, but where
does that leave us?
Do we have to search every
hole in town that's got rats?
- I hope not, I hate the things.
They give me the creeps.
Used to see 'em when I was
in the Navy on the docks.
Big, fat around like that.
That's it.
- What?
- You said they went fishing.
They borrowed a boat,
where'd they get it?
- Well, from some people
from Chicago, the Thompsons.
They live near us,
they had a boat.
- Well, maybe the
Thompsons know somethin'.
- OH, not a chance.
- [Rusty] You seem pretty
sure about that, don't you?
- Two weeks before the
robbery, they was k*lled
in an auto accident on
their way to Chicago.
- Baby, if I'm
right, it's 56 grand.
Where's the Thompson place?
[dramatic music]
[water splashing]
Cops search here?
- I don't know, I guess.
- Didn't search
good enough here.
Now stand back.
[Rusty pounding]
[door creaking]
Gimme that flashlight, will you?
[rats squeaking]
[Helen gasps]
What's that?
[rats squeaking]
- I was right, huh?
- Yeah, the place
is full of 'em.
- Go on now, no time to start--
- There must be
hundreds of them.
- Worrying about it now.
[Helen shouts]
[rat squeaks]
My foot.
God, he ran across.
See, I told you.
The police tore up everything.
[metal clanging]
[rat squeaking]
Look out.
[rats squeaking]
The boat's gone too.
There's nothin' here.
- Boy, this place
gives me the creeps.
- Yeah, well you
can say that again.
- Money's gotta
be here somewhere.
- Well, why didn't you buy
a crystal ball with that $15
the state gave you?
[rats squeaking]
- Wait here.
- What are you gonna do?
Where you goin'?
[Rusty pounding]
[rats squeaking]
[Rusty pounding]
What?
- The roof is higher
than the ceiling.
There's a space up there.
- Rusty, listen.
What is it?
- Rats.
- Up there?
- In there.
[rats squeaking]
There's a space in there.
There are rats in there.
- And somethin' else, Rusty.
There's somethin' else in there.
- See if you can find something
that looks like a crowbar.
- Oh, is this okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
[rat squeaking]
[rats squeaking]
What are you doin'?
- Gimme that boat hook.
Gimme that.
Hold this.
[Rusty tapping]
[wood cracking]
Hold on, here, put that back.
[rat squeaking]
[Rusty pounding]
[wood cracking]
[rats squeaking]
[Rusty gasps]
[dramatic music]
[rats squeaking]
- Rusty.
Hurry up.
Rusty, is anything there?
Do you see anything?
Pete, is it Pete?
- I'm coming down.
- Is the money in there?
Is this the money?
- Open it and find out.
- Oh!
[dramatic music]
[rock thudding]
[blow thudding]
Your head better?
- You double-crossin' tr*mp.
- Now lover, you were
gonna knock me off
with that rock,
weren't you lover?
- Where's your glasses?
- Right there.
- I thought--
- I couldn't see without 'em?
[glass shattering]
I never did need 'em, lover.
- It was an act,
and I fell for it.
- Yes, it was an act
and you fell for it.
The glasses, lettin'
my hair grow out,
puttin' on all this weight.
- Mike said that
you were a doll.
I couldn't--
- Oh, I was a doll
two years ago.
For two years, I been puttin'
on this dumb slob routine.
- [Rusty] And why?
- So nobody would notice me.
And when I leave town, nobody's
gonna even notice I'm gone.
That dumb slob who
used to sling hash?
Don't care.
- Boy, Mike was dumb.
- Yeah, Mike was dumb.
He had a great big blonde
baby doll in his house
and that's all he
knew, saw, or wanted.
It wasn't the money Mike
went after Pete for.
- You were two-timing him.
- Six months, pretty good, huh?
Then he began to suspect me.
I don't know who told him.
- I bet you don't.
- Well, I was gettin'
kinda tired of Pete.
- And Mike went gunnin' for him.
- [Helen] Right.
- And you knew the money
would be there, the payroll,
and that Mike would have to
do somethin' about it, huh?
- I was just a great big dumb
baby doll, lover, remember?
- Why didn't Mike tell the cops
that you were cheatin' on him?
- Because when he came home, I
convinced him it wasn't true.
I didn't love
anyone but my Mikey.
- How could he
have believed you?
- I wiggled a little
when I said it.
- Well, I don't
believe you, baby.
I don't you were
any blonde doll.
You're a fat slob now and
you were a fat slob then.
- You shut up.
- [laughs] Kissin' you, toots,
you know what it was like?
Stickin' my head in a lard can.
- You shut up, I
tell you, shut up.
- The first time I walked
into that hash house,
you know what I thought?
I said to myself, I
couldn't believe it.
I said, that's Helen, I said.
That barrel of beef.
That thing is gonna
bust the uniform.
- I disappointed you, huh?
- Disappointed me,
toots, disappointed me?
I was disgusted.
Mike needed an eye doctor.
He needed a new scale.
- I was everything
Mike said I was.
- Toots, you were twice as
much as he said you were.
- [Helen] Listen, I put it on
and I can take it off again.
- How, with a meat grinder?
- Walkin', walkin' back and
forth from the bank, lover.
That's how.
You know, when you showed
up, I knew why you come.
I know how creeps
like you think.
And that's what you
are, Connors, a creep.
- That makes two
of us, two creeps.
- Listen, you know where
I'd be if I was as stupid?
If I was as stupid
as you and Mike?
Where Pete Taylor is now,
up there with the rats.
- What are you gonna do?
- Well, first I'm gonna take
a bus out of Haynesville.
And then I'm gonna
stop in a small town
and I'm gonna
check into a hotel.
And I'm gonna melt
And then I'm gonna bleach
my hair blonde again.
And I'm gonna buy a
couple of tight dresses.
And I'm goin' back to
being the old Helen Krause,
that great big blonde baby doll.
And I have 56 grand
to do it with.
- They'll find you.
- No, they won't
find me. [laughs]
And they won't find you either,
not for a long, long time.
And when they do, maybe they
won't even know who you were.
Who they gonna ask, the rats?
- You fat slob.
You tub of lard.
You fat slob!
- This will just keep
you from screamin' later.
Well now, you're all
dressed up for the party.
Bye, lover.
And thanks for everything
[dramatic music]
[Helen screams]
[rats squeaking]
lover, treasure
hunter, pied piper.
Next week, we shall
return with another story
and more campaign promises.
Until then, good night.
[dramatic music]
[upbeat music]
Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register