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01x01 - Door Jam/Where's the Bone?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "2 Stupid Dogs". Aired: September 5, 1993 – February 13, 1995.*
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Show is about two unnamed dogs—neither of whom, as the title states, is very intelligent—and their everyday misadventures.

01x01 - Door Jam/Where's the Bone?

Post by bunniefuu »

Today, two stupid dogs open the

door to a parallel dimension.

Whoa. Is that a cow?Could

be. Now, ain't that cute,

but it's wrong. And on the

super secret secret squirrel.

Stay cool, Morocco. Everything is under

control.

My can.

You can!Oh, the horror!

Phew!

It stopped! We can get it back. Come

on!

Huh

I can't understand you with that can in

your mouth.

I said I got your can!

The can!

We got to get inside.

But how?

Got to think.

Got to figure it out. We're outside. We

got to get inside. Let me think.

Think, think, think.

Ah, a way to get inside. This won't be

easy. We gotta get our brain juices

flowing. And

think.

I got it!

What's the difference between us and the

people getting inside?Shoes.

There. Hmm

We obviously need more shoes. Let's go.

You're out.

The shoe! The shoe! Take

off your shoe! Woo!

Boy, am I stupid. You gotta put the shoes

on your feet.

Hmm

It's coming!

Whoo! I'm inside! Yes, I'm in.

I finally got in. My dad hide,

got inside. Look at my grin. I got in.

Yeah. Yeah

YeahWhy are we

inside?Huh

well The

can! No! No

Hey, we'll catch up to Secret Squirrel

after this. Super Secret

Secret Squirrel back in business.

Commencing firing sequence.

At last, my crowning moment has arrived.

I, Gold Flipper, have created the

ultimate evil machine. My molar acoustic

synchro bicuspid dental magnetic electro

plaque conductive positivizer gives me

the power to plunder the world's richest

untapped source of, dare I say it,

gold. Oh, I

love it. Yes, indeed.

Activate.

Aim. Magnetize.

And this is my daughter, Shirley, and her

son, Paul. He's a go-go dancer.

And my son, Gendry, the professional bow.

He never calls. I think that I shall

never see a poem more loving than a...

Positively, Mr. President. Absolutely,

Mr. Adlasser. The utmost priority, Mr.

Prime Minister. Whatever you say, Mr.

Seibert. Yes, yes, of course. I'll put my

best man on it. Mumsy,

Miss Penny, send in secret squirrel.

Agent 000, secret squirrel reporting for

duty, Chief.

And me?Morocco

Mole. What sort of world

peace-threatening crisis is it this time,

Chief?Terrible news secret. Seems some

heinous villain is pilfering gold teeth

right out of helpless victims' mouths.

Hmm, I'd like to see how that's done.

My tooth. Sorry, Morocco.

Chief, I think I have an idea.

Secret. How are we going to find a person

who's responsible for the disappearance

of all the gold teeth?Simple,

Morocco. I'll just use my orthodontic

gold replicator, which gives

anything I spray the proper use of a gold

tooth.

What do we do now, secret?You forget,

Morocco. I'm a master of disguise.

Here, put this on and follow me.

No, Sigrid. Do I have to wear this?

Sorry, Morocco, but it's necessary.

Hey, are you making fun of me?

One moment, please.

Squirrel Scout cookies, mister?No.

HuhThey're delicious gold

nugget crispies. With creamy

golden filling. Gold?

Come in, come in, girls.

Don't give me those golden cookies.

Gimme, gimme, gimme. I'm sorry, sir, but

these golden cookies cost two dollars.

Hmm, two dollars, eh

Well, all right. You squirrely girlies,

wait here while I go fetch some money.

Secret?Should we search the premises for

the secret tooth-stealing machine?The

secret booth gluing machine?Say,

you're making fun of my lips again. Hold

it, Morocco. I think I found the secret

control room.

Oh, little girls, little squirrely

girlies. I'm back, little girls.

What are you two girls up to?

We're earning our destroy the evil

laboratory patches.

Secret squirrel! In the

flesh. I should have

known. Gods, seize them!

I've got you now, Secret Squirrel.

Let's get him, Morocco.

It's time I put an end to you,

once and for all, Secret Squirrel.

Oh, swell. That's just swell.

First, I lose my special tooth.

Then, I have to come to this stupid

island. What's so funny, fat soul?Oh,

swell. He's laughing at my lips, too.

It's not picking up, so I

have to

get up.

So what do we do now, Secret?Stay

cool, Morocco. Everything is under

control.

Hey, Secret, you think my tooth is in

here somewhere?Start searching,

Morocco. Start searching.

Congratulations, Secret. Another case

brilliantly solved. One small matter

still puzzles me, though. Whatever did

you do with all those gold teeth?

Two stupid dogs got a break.

Now on with the show.

I know I left it somewhere. I know I did.

But I can't find it. I can't find it

anywhere. Find what?My bone.

I lost my favorite bone. What's it look

like?Kind of looks like the one there. Of

course, mine's bigger. We're gonna have

to keep looking. We're gonna have to

look all over. We're gonna have to look

everywhere. Okay.

I don't see you anywhere. I'll have to

keep digging. I've always been a good

digger. Gotta find my bone. I'll just

keep digging. Dig, dig, dig.

Doors.

Gold. But I don't see my bone anywhere.

Nope, that's not my bone.

Piece of garbage?

Oh, mighty master, I am the great and

all-knowing genie. I will grant you

three wishes. Wishes?Wishes tell

me where my bone is.

The bone is on your head.

Right. Like, I wouldn't know if I had a

bone on my head. I wish you'd put me

down. Psst, stupid genie.

I wish we were out of this dump.

I still don't see my bone. Anywhere.

Anywhere. Anywhere. Who's that?

Who's that?Who's that?Have you got my

bone?Have you got my bone?Have you got my

bone?No, it's my bone! No, it's my bone!

No, it's my bone! My bone! My

bone! My bone!

My bone! What?

My bone!

It's not in there.

Can't see my bone anywhere. It's like a

jungle around here.

Have any of you guys seen a bone around

here like yours?But it's mine.

Where's my bone?

My bone?Well, that's it. We've

looked everywhere. We just can't find it.

Find what?WhatMy bone! My bone!

Haven't you been looking for my bone?

Sheesh. Now we're going to have to

completely retrace our steps.

I'm not alone. I found

my bone. I found my bone.

I can't let this happen again. I gotta

put this where I'll never lose it.

Somewhere easy to remember. But where?

How about on your head?

Good idea!

Okay, dogs, here comes a break.