02x06 - Cowboys

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

no one said it was gonna be easy

nobody said it had to be fair

all of the chances taken together

and all the changes

[Music]

passed the point of no return

[Music]

[Music] so [Music]

[Applause]

oh uh toward right clifford charlie's york

you checked i made an early video architecture that was two of you wouldn't rain drove us

really i noticed where i see them as lot of rastas driving bmw's

you know because i think it starts with bob molly in the wheelers well why don't you text drive them well

you know the difference between a hedgehog and a range rover hedgehog's got pricks on the outside

all right hopefully i will right then dennis get the percolator on eh

burgundy

so keep quiet look busy all right i don't know any of the weirdness

morning lads how's it going okay huh good good good

who's that red sunglasses it's got to be the architect doesn't it but he's got a bmw i would say no always

drive bmws for zooming right chocolate sign i'm going to get a

blue one how can i move mocks all this bending is doing my backing and a slip disc could be fatal for a guy with my sexual

appetite what's to bring yours up buddy or what hey no no no no no it's all right i'll

come down to the kitchen with you it's all right suppose barry's still worried about his

friend the ghost do you win no no no no fully grown adult is barry he wouldn't believe in ghosts

oh that's right that's right that's like really ridiculed me i don't mind you didn't say this thing i

did i'm the one who can't fully sleep at night i'm the one who's audited my audible images of

macbeth and banquo a couple of ice skaters aren't they like tall villain dean they are shakespeare characters

nerd oh yeah and how do you know so we know what i know well the evening

classes warsaw technical i know we made a special point to study in the works of our most famous local writer

thought shakespeare came from stratford oh well interrupted mock sir so it's not all cement between those

ears then correct shakespeare is usually linked with stratford but he was in fact an

overspill player right from the west midlands that's why i could never understand him at school mocks wrote in a brummy accent

anyway listen in our class right we did a workshop production of macbeth

we did it very cleverly actually as a revenge western calvin fendig is

the name of our director excellent idea right anyway he got the idea

from that record by the doors you know the one riders on the storm there's a k*ller on the road his brain

is squirming like a towel anyway right we're all dressed up as

cowboys right i've played the bankroll kit that's the live and dark wolf's all knowing that

listen to me it's very interesting what i'm saying is right bangkok gets bumped off by macbeth

as he claws his way to power and he comes back to auntie a buddhist specter thirsting for

vengeance right also this got to do with the blow who's supposed to be wandering around this storm listen all i'm saying is having played

the part of bangkok and i have a pretty good idea of what goes on inside a guy's brain and believe me it's not very nice

[Music] plasterboard partitions freeze blocks chipboard

every expense fair there howard sorry dennis but ali is desperate to get this project finished so he can release some

cash for his spanish investments what investments are these i'm sorry i can't say

but i think you boys are pencilled in as part of them by offer i don't think he sees it in those terms

largely because he doesn't need to buy you lot off he pays you do that's the relationship isn't it pure and simple

howard for an architect you don't seem to know anything about the people in the building trade i mean my lads i know a bunch of girl

guides god knows but they can smell a cowboy job a male off man and if they don't like it they can piss off and find

work somewhere else no no they can create a hell of a lot of trouble for the bloke who's abusing their skills for a quick profit

especially if it means turning old people's woman to a cardboard death trap now look here dennis i submitted three

separate budgets to ali for this project he chose the cheapest one possible because it suited his purposes

it's not for me to make that sort of decision for him hi morning he's doing your job that's right howard listen man i've got

my reasons for working at ali's orders no i don't like what i'm doing but i know exactly why i'm doing it now

what's your excuse son i don't have to give you any justifications

now can we get on please

[Music]

oh this takes me back ah yeah six people fighting in a pack

oh no no no no more nostalgia for deprived childhood but both left that a long way behind

oh no i'm not talking about when i was a kid i'm talking about when we were sh**ting snowy white in the five dwarfs

it was a sensitive story about a cocaine crazed nympho without us for small pieces i'm afraid i missed that one kenny oh no

it's very good we were gonna make a sequel only the dwarves all pissed off back with the circus well i'm sure barry

norman will be delighted to hear the rest of it now listen kenny this may be an interesting question under the circumstances but

what two words most filled you with dread you

are there are two words that get the old string going oh and it's going now thanks to

this lot i know a couple of words like you're

nick what is this some sort of new panel game what's my bluff underwater

no no now the two words that i was thinking about kenny were extradition and treating did they do

anything for you yeah well i suppose they're as good as any but it can't do nothing to me son because quite rightly

the law cannot be applied retrospectively well i was speaking to a couple of the

boys in the town this morning and some of them are not so sure they reckon that the whole thing is going to be nailed

what a time is it where why is that well something to do with spain's entry

into the common market oh yeah yeah it seems that spain might not be welcome into the european

community where she still continues to give shelter to some of the heaviest villains on the continent

present company including i say you mean they're gonna gotta use this as hostages i suppose so

but then again you gotta see it from britain's point of view why should she enter into trade negotiations and such like

with a country who's still given shelter to people who have spent the time taking wealth out of britain other people's

wealth mainly yeah but don't you worry about nothing

son everything's gonna be all right now i gotta get out of here

i'm beginning to wrinkle everything's gonna be hunky-dory you

anyway i've got some little ideas about it some money-making ideas i'd like to have a word with you about kenny should

we have dinner tonight as long as it's not boiled up

all right jack hill purely back for some more are we would be a right policy building out

there in the country oh it's more like a doll's house from nowhere look at that rubbish one

definite damn tune in style any chance you get me that look tomorrow yes my dog i think so might have trouble

stopping some of it blowing off the back of the lorry though it's not what you'd call substantial is it probably why the calam breeze blocks

yeah oh hey we need a plumber for a couple of weeks just so uh do you know he could last long

huh let me see this blog from darby is a top man hard

crafter reasonable rates pleasant disposition nice oh my deal give him a ring now if you want she

wants no bar none at all is my brother-in-law ah nepotism eh

no just a touch of arthritis thank you

another point here when you're ready certainly sir now now now tiger don't

overdo the sakiness otherwise we'll have a little video showing for the brewery won't we share what their tenants get up to after hours

did i ever tell you the time when i was taking prison in malaya no i don't think so no these little

gooks with colored hair put me in a bamboo cage they abused me with sticks humiliated me

they thought they were safe you see because i was behind bars then i was rescued by my pals in the sas and as a

revenge i strung the little buses up by the ankles and horse with them the 87 pencil do you want this one on

the house twenty one three nine nine

shout out to you happy hurry man pringle no nothing mind you i'm not exactly

looking for conversation well i'm just waiting for one word out the line really you know printing's just a bitty dog board with this

there's still a bit of an atmosphere in there isn't it reminds me of a funeral parlor b*mber oh

come on neville you were moaning when we're banned from here now you're mourning because we're back i mean just be grateful for small mercies eh

i am just i find it a bit depressant around off me working deer sitting in a place where i'm not really welcome

could be worse for me could be going home to the wife my wife's not like that little bummer

always makes us feel welcome when i get back from work he's got a kiss for us a cup of tea

talk about what sort of deal we've had play with the ben for an hour you're homesick never me what makes you

think that look why don't you take the weekend off go up and see your brenda

i don't think i can afford to lose the money then it's only for one day we're not working on sunday

i mean would it not leave you a man short for saturday yeah i think then i'd rather be shorthanded than have you long-faced

oh good lad right very wrong what do you want to see him again is it bye creature

everybody got a crucifix

[Music]

so hey nobody left this video on did they

ah and i packed all them tapes out neatly before we left looks like we've had another visitor again

that door was closed when i woke more wasn't it the ghost been out what a piss has he

[Music] hey that's check all your gear make sure nothing's been taken

[Music]

close this

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howdy isn't it dennis patterson around you're the plumber well that's what he

says yeah oh hi i'm dennis harry blackburn i've got all the gear in

the back special discount course it's a brother-in-law you know oh well every little bit helps like right uh

where do you want to start then yeah well it gives you a hand with this stuff if you don't mind a bit of laboring oh not me danny he's always ready to

move in good luck well i'll tell you what we'll have a break in a minute and then i'll introduce it to all the lads yeah

definitely cowboy material all this isn't it you're better off using lego right now i'll keep on working that long

as not your hands are fit to you [Music] all right [Music]

hey let me kiss your feet hole mate a h*nky tonk nate man if we make it

through december oh hey from muskogee

they don't smoke marijuana in muskogee what's the whole look down there no

that's not one of merle's dennis is it no it seems more like johnny cash

[Music]

live in nashville hey uh i thought he shaved his beard off

a few years ago that's not a bad man it's a shadow across his fiest oh yeah yes

or maybe he said is it beard i don't know it's kind of fella like he was very pleased he had to be stint

in the falklands because he's very patriotically a falklands veteran who's met merlager

you're just about the most important person i've ever come across us well between you and me like i didn't get the day in the actual

butchering day you know just civilian work you know the runway and that's everything still it's very impressive though a uh

rough out there was it was a new picnic one what was the worst bit the uh the cold or the shortage of women like

well now my ba*ls badly i think the worst thing a lot was then buddy jim do you have some visits

[Laughter] no lover of c*ck eh right

i've got one on the throne you know but uh it's very seldom we'll see you like with me you know tell you what you've had a few drinks and a bit of a

sing-song tomorrow night over my way good day oh that'll be how we all really

bought them all the booze yeah the only one we can get in we'll go buy blackmail

hey i'm gonna enjoy working with you lads hey odd cheers

[Music] what's the word would you want me to

transform that second staircase to its former glory or is there a lift going tonight yeah i'll leave that left to the weekend

with i'm wondering how i tell his final approval of all his plans yet i wouldn't hold out too much hope if i

was you not judging by that gear that coming this morning seems a pity to skimp on such a solid building though doesn't it look like

here's money you can spend all he wants if he wants to do the place out modern straw that's his decision

it's a bit iffy when it's an old forks home dennis you should give them the best look you're getting well paired neville

so i quit morning eh

seems a bit tessy doesn't he she's trying to be in the gaffer i suppose streamer being employed by someone like

ali freeze i'm all late [Music]

nice drop away

[Music]

[Music]

woman can be a right liability

[Music] i had a word with a few of the brick community

your little story's already got a few of them pecking still got a white choice of countries

that don't have extradition treaties with great britain you've got uh afghanistan you've got costa rica

you've got campaign you've got libya i can't see myself playing golf with gaddafi

what's your plan ally well kenny did you ever play monopoly as a kid no

i didn't like to go to jail even as a kid he gave me a shiver

you remember the broad principles of the game oh yeah no buying property at after pages prices

making offers to people who need cash to keep staying on in the game what are you getting at ally well

if a dozen or so of your similarly placed colleagues should find

themselves in need of quick cash and even quicker exits i might be in a very healthy position to take their

properties off their hands you have played this game more often

than you carry and since most of these properties happen to be in prime sites

i would then be very healthily placed to develop them as holiday homes for those brits who

can move freely around the world what happens if as i suspected

your property developing schemes cut up the collective notions of these poor people now this is where you commence

as partner in general public relations it spreading good will i'm sure that

between the two of us we could smooth things over after all we'd be helping them out and you know telling what the spanish

government could do the socialist city they might just repossess all your houses and kick you all out without the

bean yeah well you'll have to give me a few days to think about it sure we're just throwing the base around

at this stage in the game but um you want to be able to move fast on the field

you know this is a real choker the people in england think we have a wonderful time here

get off yeah it's a real prison this is

bloody m*rder isn't it yeah working on a sad day i should be at the match better to be laying bricks from throwing

them off thanks enjoy your saturday night much better after our days graft well that

should not flake but it gets bloodier than anything listen your fancy trip i wanted this

booze out of harry's i have i couldn't return zone on a sunday biological you know but twang that's it i'm more of a west

country music fan myself you know what i just cut on the walls all that sort of thing

drink up these either music i'll get you in the mirror if it kills

us with all the other this job buddy

struggle with having the g.i tires tear out and it's about watching some mad sod terrorizing

the own countries of a black and decker drill what's this that's horrible have you

been any more savings of our friend yet well moxie falls during a few strange gurglings in the knives

want to do after 10 points in a valley now it's hardly surprising hi i'm getting a busted are you here i

feel i'm giving up my pinch in my beard yeah he's certainly got some pretty earthly

taste all right but he probably draws the lane at cutler

it was hardly worth coming to bed if you're gonna listen to the football all afternoon i'm sorry pep

it's just it seems a bit unnatural trying to do it during the day and you know i kind of concentrate when

you castle a plane there was an article in cosmo last month about how married couples should use as

much variety as possible in their love life times places clothes

cosmo cosmopolitan magazine for the woman of today

that's where you get all your fancy ideas from they're not fancy they just didn't trust you

things are changing for women you know never leave non-time side i know it's just i was brought up in a very

traditional world i thought wife at home looking after the kids pub with a lad saturday night on the nest

and sunday afternoon asleep on the sofa after a big lunch man i've never been that bad brenda i'm

not a complete chauvinist no we are not a feminist neither

look if it make you happy you'll go

sorry i'll be pleased

i seem to have 10 minutes free hey listen about them uh um claws you

can wear for making things more passionate what about them well how would you feel

about wearing some it depends what they are there's a fine line between eroticism and kinkiness you

know neville what did you have in mind a black and white striped football shirt

[Music]

okay are you ready a lot

[Music]

right

[Music] not bad earlier what yeah i feel a lot

worse you come here all the time honey oh yeah yeah every saturday we have a bit of a no down a few beers

and then crashing to dry stone walls on the way home all right the original advantage

[Music]

exposure to it could cause you to grow odders [Music]

right i'm off on the pool anyone got a

lesson

[Music] it was just a joke you know my name's wayne after john of course

i said are you always so chatty up here sorry i was listening to the music oh yeah m*ssacre starwing i only come

because my brother's playing the fiddle seems like a sensitive type look can i uh can i buy you a drink love

all licks or something no thanks i've got to drive him home later oh i saw the series raw ride wouldn't it

[Music]

hey look is there another bar or something around here you know one with a broken jukebox preferably

sorry if you want a break from this you'll have to go out into the car park they'll see if they've got a table for

[Music]

two [Music] [Applause]

where'd you go squad please boys and girls quiet we have a very special guest artist in the room tonight

apparently he's appeared with the great merle haggard in nashville [Music] he's a great personal friend of moles so

ladies and gentlemen let's give him a real big hand big willy

do you know um do you know do you know i can't be myself

[Music]

it's a way of mine to see just what i'm thinking

and to do the things i really want to do

but you want to change proud

but i can't be myself

just because i don't believe the things you do

how can someone so ugly make a nice noise like that [Music] must be myself

you know she had a shower

[Music]

i've got to listen to this vlog this sounds good

[Music]

[Music] but i can be myself

when i'm with you i know i can be myself when i'm

with you

[Music]

hey what's up well before we note donate i squirted a bit of super glue and a fridge door handle

[Applause] [Music]

oh jesus i'm not glad to see you's back look i can't go replace with this bloody

fridge on my hand that's him the ghost

you're taking this awful well i'm getting much better than i deserve you see that i gave him a good but not

that solvent though she would have spent the rest of your life walking around the fridge doors took me a minute

see where you've been hiding at something oh well you see there's a little cupboard up on the third floor and i just kicked

down in there while you were around or awake so while we were out or asleep you came out to play yeah

it didn't mean any harm that was honest i've stopped here a few times when we traveled and when i saw you lot in here on the

floor i just thought you were jotting down as well oh charming well there's not far wrong

really hey you're not going to throw me out tonight are you no yeah you know oh there's a sleeping bag

there spare one it can have that oh thanks you keep down there all right yeah come on

yeah but uh have a bath first willie and then you

left the g*n on your way tomorrow because we've got work to do you know yeah well that's fair enough tell me what are you

doing to the house exactly i would turn it into an old people's home actually i can stop off here again

then of course you're 50 pound a night by then oh saw that for a game of soldiers

oh

oh [Music]

hey i wish your mom was here fancy going to work on a sunday morning there

hey man i didn't want you doing that debs but there'll be any work for you by the

time you grow up sometimes you actually are putting supposed to go in anyway are you talking

to a pet just getting some culinary tips off debbie so if it all goes wrong

it's your fault

in a right town

right then there there's a bus stop over there you can get it to tone from there all right

oh here should hopefully we are fair sorry oh

thanks mate and thanks for the jumper and jeans you know you've been smashing to me you lads by the big breakfast this morning

all the beers i've had the telly and videos i've had the belt in time you sure you've got somewhere to stay

tonight now oh hi i've got a string of homes up and down the country i'm practically landed gentry

i'll see you around take care now yeah seems a nice whole bloke really

yeah we can't out feeling sorry for him can you ah sorry be honest i'll bet he's just happy as a pig in shape

certainly smells like one a bit sad though guys what if we get to that eyes and

have no way to leave i don't think we do enough for our play for this country actually

only got one hour and 59 minutes drinking left

that's when you think about it isn't it pubs is open all of us while you're at graft

and you get a d up and they keep short at 10. i want your feet before your time

well it's nice to meet you at long last norma i've heard a lot about you oh thanks

throw never you know very nice of you to invite me around because i've heard a lot about you from dennis

i mean i've heard you've got your kitchen well organized i can see that's true hello norma how are you pet i'm fine

thanks neville yeah you'll not be after eating this lot oh stop being so apologetic neville you're a good cook you give yourself the

chance sit down lonely now what can i get you to drink have you

got any chin uh-huh i think i'll go mad i'll have a gin and tonic

hey this is a rare treat for me neville getting me sunday dinner made for this never happens when our dentist is at

home ah it's lisa could do after he lent us his van oh no we wouldn't have invited you over

yourself yeah he sent his love by the way

hi well i don't suppose you live this well now that you and the lads have

moved into the derelict house eh oh well actually it's in the dinner big occasion for us usually

so one time in the week we'll get there relax really push the boat out you know first pour sure this for a sunday

morning isn't it hey you've got neat cheese on there boy you've got the crackers neat trait note i like to treat

my customers the way they treat me oh i'm surprised that our little bows are that poison on the bar in that case

visible look at this look very interesting this

yeah whatever it is buddy life's too short listen listen look the sunday people here has been doing an investigation into the scandal of

unregistered old people's homes well but apparently they're springing up all over the place without anything more

the basic facilities and they're cashing in all the social security benefits yeah come on just have

a quiet paint here buddy i'm just not gonna apply to our place mates no well you better ask dennis

about that hadn't here because he's the one that knows what ali freya so do some of the places condemned

you've got more facilities than thornley manner by the sound of it yeah but i couldn't have less could they i haven't finished the job yet

no no but it's not looking too promising the way things are going is it huh i mean is he going to put a proper fire

escape in because that's regulation what a good central heating system huh huh i don't know don't know don't bloody

care more late i think look as if i remember rightly you weren't too whaled about some of the quality that went them flats were built in germany i

didn't stop you finishing the job yes yes yes but that was different wasn't it and that was for germans this

is for british people man all the age british people are now i mean i wouldn't be able to get this

sleep at night i thought i was creating slim conditions while some poor old grandmother live in supposed to lift all that behind the 50s

won't we yeah come on then is this a cowboy job or what i mean there's pride involved in this isn't there look i've

dealt with fraser since this dart on this far as i'm concerned the job is above board your precious pride

will not be abused okay no no man it's not okay man we've seen all the crap material around on the job in the last

few days haven't we couldn't build a bloody garden shadow to most of that looks the job sound

ah i saw you sir i do see it i'm the gaffer ali freeze as the gaffer man and the way

things are looking all he's gonna do is fart and you crawl up another crap

sorry about the yolks you're putting folks don't worry pet i can't always get it to rise myself

tasted all right neville it was just a bit flat that's all maybe you should call it lincolnshire puddin

i'll make some coffee oh big one thanks

i'm really glad that you invited us around neville because i wanted to have a word with you about our dentist

oh what about dennis well do you think there's anything what's running at the minute no no don't think so

like i suppose no he's the gaffer some of the lads are a bit of a problem no i wasn't talking about work well

i don't think you'd tell me if it was anything else no quite honestly why what's up like is there something

wrong well i didn't really want to bring it up

but the thing is i am very worried about him i mean i bumped into this woman odie charles a couple of

weeks ago but you might know her brenda all right the most of the time yeah well shade heard that our dennis

owed ali frieza a load of money and that was why i was working for him oh i'm sure it's not true

what do you think never could it be true well he's not saying nothing to me about it but uh

i suppose it's possible oh every time i raise the seo with him he just climbs up he'll not tell me anything

mind you i don't mean to be personal norma but i must admit i was a bit surprised when i found out dennis was

working for early fraser i mean he has got something of a reputation as being a yes you don't need to beat about the

bush brenda we all know he's a crook i mean how would you feel if one of your relatives was working for a crook you'd

be bound to be worried wouldn't you well i'm working for him in a way

oh look i'm sorry to bring this up then probably be a simple explanation talk

about it some of that time well look if it's any help norma i'll have a word with them when i get back

tonight would you neville i would appreciate that thanks oh it's probably intercall now

hello oh hello ally uh-huh what are you doing wrong here neville it's ally me squash partner

he's an egyptian doctor sorry egyptian

is

consumed attacking our wealthy anybody fancy cup of tea

oh nev you have a good time oh hi not bad

nice to know what your normal idea all right sorry

well no she's not all right why what's your mother she's worried about you and ali fraser

well i'm hardly having an affair with ali fraser i've got to watch your things no but you're more than just an employee

only well you getting that never you want him

money there's all your child's being jangling it again are sure look there's nothing in it neville man

isn't there not would explain a lot of things dennis like what

you're bodging this conversion for a start it's not like you would have put it with

shoddy work then no unless that's what frieza wants from me neville in case you hadn't noticed the

construction industry in this country's knackered we can't be too choosy about the work

we'll do anymore because it might be the last we're going to get look if i can keep my head above water

and feed my kids by skimping on a conversion for ali fraser i'm going to do that man

so would you you must hold an awful lot of money to talk like that dennis

how much six thousand pounds

hit the last cold door that's not including in wrestling but you know an ollie frazier would be

about 50 percent why don't forgot you wouldn't understand neville man look you've got a happy

marriage i've never had one i mean you know what it was like for me when i came back from

germany what would dagmar and for a while i tried to make things

better by throwing money about i was wrong wasn't it time i realized i

was wrong was too lit i'm in a hall now well i'll leave

frazier looking down at me well why didn't you tell us we ain't

amazed you never do it directly anywhere if we having to compromise ourselves as well it does never man it's just a piddling

little four-week job if i bring it in on time and it freezes as mega budget i'm in the clear

if i don't well i might just end up in the train when my

pockets full of bricks

another slight change in the plans the kitchens this time don't tell me you only have to be big

enough to fit one microwave over close close well let's go and see how far your labs have got shall we

ah morning fellas oh it's a bit early for a tea break isn't it hi hi h* a lot ship up a bit if you took

them stupid glasses off hedgehog and i'd look a boat you'd see there's any teacups lying around

that's because it's not a tea break it's a strike a strike that's right zombie a strike

how would he better sort this lord out with your gaffer no you'll sort it out with yours you'll tell ali fraser that nothing gets

done he actually upgrades his conversion and more importantly takes the squeeze off dennis neville that's all right then

we're all determined about this hey now what's going on here look you got a message didn't you hedgehog huh piss up and pass it onto

freezer right if that's the way you boys want it

thanks a bunch [Music]

thanks a bunch never told while i put it you know

dennis it seemed like a choice between doing this job properly or being loyal

to you so what happened well we forgot to do

both right i'll have me fail fuel for 200.

yes oh hello howard yeah yeah how are you how are you

problem what do you mean problem

right now just leave that with me i'll send a few of my industrial relations consultants and

so the b*stards out [Music]

[Music]

i think the boys from the brown stuff have just arrived [Music]

[Applause]

i don't even said anyone i was a quaker

i've got to persuade you back to work well you just failed i suppose we can

reason with them i i think it's too late for that now

[Music] oh yeah i know i had to use it

[Music]

[Music] anyone get a match i'll set fire to this b*stard

[Music] the fight inside of yours

get angry

[Music]

do you want to come on

[Music]

there yes it started a while ago just strangers from together

helpless heroes caught in a dream boy we made such a crazy team

out of luck we saw each other through

[Music] laughed it

with the off again

[Music]

back with the boys again we're back

you