02x09 - Hasta la Vista

[bunniefuu]

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no one said it was gonna be easy

nobody said it had to be fair

all of the chances taken together

and all the changes

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this time cause we passed the point of no return

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how would you get all of this huh oh i phoned me mate terry he was surprised

to hear from us like you know because he didn't know a g*n over the wall anyway i got him to go down to me anti-vise you

know it's where i was staying prior to my rest you gotta help me gear and posted it to us

you take some chances you do mox why it's bloke terry knows where you are and

you're aren't you boy and if she's a blubber i'm a complete fool you know i had a simple restaurant

i don't need renewing nev it's got a couple of years to go on it oh that's not the point though is it mox

you've still got two years to run on on your sentence and there's people looking for you

you're on wonder notices and computers you don't want to chance your arm on passport control

you'd be all right i mean it's only a local airport up here isn't it i mean it's not heathrow with dope

dealers and diamond smuggler isn't that just a couple of dozier jardis hey i'll scoot you moxie i heard that

do you know what happened to my cousin paul he was picked up in newcastle airport they dragged him outside give

him a r*pe going over and he's just an ordinary bloke with his three kids on his way to major with a

load of camping gear no what's happening couldn't he afford the v80 on his tent

not paul's divorce rate and whenever they see a single pair of g*n throw with kids they'll always check them out in

case they're doing a runner what's that got to do with me well i'm just saying that they're more

vigilant than what you take them for oh we're playing this game we're not man

nevo it's your poke right now get your finger to up don't

put the ballot i've just got so used to pool tables my man

this table seems immense oh wait uh i wish you understand that

you're that you're back to playing moxie now then are we i reckon so yeah yeah well i've only

just got used to calling brendan all right oh that's one point dude ah jumping why not

he's angry at the night though yeah got the tickets all right is it great oh uh have you got a dig soldered it huh

because i'm not keeping any dirty philly pencil only with c*ck crawl out on me you're self-respecting c*ck a g*n

near your feet though

on the second night we transferred to our luxury villa was nestled high in the hills far above the glistening brony or my

boss did you was i sniffing 120 pound a week mate i had a mate it did your lining buddy my

knee buddy gives a tosh man just take your shot man

what time do we leave half a straight checking right

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try one of these on i don't do that in your size oh typical oh come down to me a club of

the easiest to fit michael jackson we've got the italian paratrooper in your size

you start yeah yeah yeah yeah but you know in marbella you see your label is a bit of an entree isn't

it i mean when he walks into the old racquet club they expect you to have an alligator on your left

don't think it's my bad in point of fact is it i think it's more fangirler isn't he

yeah but i mean we'll be socializing in mumbai won't we because you don't get your cheap jet safe tours there mate all your football

elegance see playground for the rich and famous ah not my as*ault that type

i don't know if they're glitching exterior they just leave shallow meaningless lives shallow relationships are due for me

barry no one ever drowned in shallow water you will if anyone will want your old lifestyle lends a new depth of meaning

to the word shallow

never out of fashion are they the mudis oh yes magnum pi is it pick up guys

i hope that hotel miranda's got a lift hey why you never get upstairs in them will you

well mr amita don't give me much freedom of expression did i

mate [Music]

surprising with our entry into the european communities we've done with me tonight who's so tired you can now board fab

italian is all again in newcastle yeah yeah it works both where's your huh apparently you can go by piece puddle in

milan very reasonable actually this was i guess how much of what's going on

oh that's your body let's have a look jordan roll 12.

ah it looks pricey on the other hand it's 50 percent man-made flavors that's a 42-pound 99.

we're spot-on yeah how'd you guess i've seen that program the price is right never champion one

cheers

oh it's very interesting this is listen to this teddy one of the most

beautiful roads in all the world is the road between marbella and seville incorporating the

ancient town of ronda well give that a try it's just an oracle and it says an absolute

must is the alhambra at granada he's got a

point like only when you think about it you know i'll impress these tana boots

grenada alhambra the rich plaza the coliseum the olympia english

pictures

what's the problem ted it's been a heckle you don't make me not god what we're not

going to do probably the end of the week probably that's not a very definite word probably

well it's just definitely been evil isn't it you mean i'm going to go through all this again you know where does that leave us dennis

no we're at albus

i'm sorry dennis but due to the spanish immigration laws there's just no way at the moment that i could take a bunch of foreign workers down there

now wait a minute are you put your brief onto this at least three weeks ago you should have told you a lot then man

well he did dennis a couple of days later i had it all fixed up and arranged backhanders with a couple of key pedros down there

but at the last minute they're trying to brace me and caught me for a wee bit extra into my mind it's just a wee bitty too much

so i told them to stuff it

look i've got a bunch of lunatics down there they're all fired up they've packed their bags they've sorted things out with their

families and if you don't come through this take them over tomorrow night my house my hospitality that'll soften them up

for you but that time i should have sorted something out well i hope so far you're sick

what time should i bring them uh make it about 10.

i mean feed them first

anywhere that's the situation

wow suppose it's at least hospitable of a minute

i'll tell you something it's gonna take one a couple of drinks and a bloody sausage stuck on the end of a toothpick the pacifier i'm able to alice

bit of a short place apparently no expense spare i'll be a bit dressy then i suppose oh yeah mugs you'll have to wear your

other pair of calls with uh yeah how are we getting back to town dennis

valley's lead on sub transport should be here any minute i should imagine

okay we'll take the waves tomorrow night for what yeah you have a service i know brandon

look to see his place we're supposed to but you know holly money's our business me best keep the wives out the picture

great come on in ah of course the layman's arrived we needed something big enough to take

all the cases didn't work

but [Music]

listen you know you wanted maine debs to go to spain uh-huh well it could work out just nice

i'm doing some time off and mrs adams is back on monday so if you don't go to the weekend we'll fly out together

bye i mean i must prefer that i hate flying on my own well i just thought if i went out there

first i would see the lee of the land lake see i didn't want to arrive out there with you and debs and fame was stuck in some

horrible enough accommodation well if we're asked to find something better pet you can leave that to me while you get

on with your work well what's the matter well

i think it'd be better if it was just the lads at first i mean it was a job you know and i didn't want ally to think we're treating it like a family

holiday i thought the reason you suggested in neville would say a family could have a holiday oh definitely life

wait look i'll assess the situation tomorrow night at alice why what's happening tomorrow night oh he's invited to soul for drinks

really oh i must say i'm dying to see his house oh no that's that's definitely just the

lads oh isn't it definitely i i checked with dennis asked him

specifically thank you

can i help you sir yes christine chadwick here please can i say who it is please dennis patterson

there's a mr patterson here mrs chadwick

thanks dennis what happened i couldn't go

through with it i couldn't bear the thought not seeing you for three weeks so i put the lads on the plane i said ali

stuff the job who's on strike air traffic control or the baggage

handlers that's a little bit complicated to explain but the good news is i'll tell you for a meal the bad news is i'm here till 9 o'clock

okay where should we go well i'll find out what the lads are doing then i'll put the table about there 25 million

[Music]

right fine oh yes we can do your birthday cake pauline

are you members no but mr palace mr pauline put our names down dennis potterson that's him the dennis

ring uh we also happen to be colleagues at ali fraser you know who owns this place colleagues

yes we work for him like same as you is one of you vomit oh that's me my dear table for five

right would you just sign here then please

what would you do for mr fraser we're these legal advisors

you know if we ever do make it out to spain i might not bother coming back what are you on about the way i look at

it is when this job's over me i'm back to square one trying to make

a fresh start in life so why not over

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[Music]

all right barry brandon hello wendy the way you two are going i

think i thought you were a disco couple in the early i don't know does it happen how do you get into them

a hobby world bang at mice

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oh

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come on barry left triple a fantastic

[Music] when your body says

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she waited nearly two hours for you man don't ask me well is she with you why is

she with him she came in with a smile and i just want to see

his face [Music]

so

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wait [Music]

don't be so predictable man

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[Music] [ __ ]

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hey where were you last night hey your bed's not been slept i was worried sick there

oh dude manny buddy good i rested that couple was a bit pubed about having a table full of bacardi and coke down

his best shirt but uh he's no chores for all of us in what do you have to go and pick a fake with a cutter for we didn't pick a fight

with a cup or a tower to create a diversion to so moxie good piss off where's moxie now like he's gone

gone where where i don't know where i don't know

when young last night he was sitting on the doorstep so i let him in we went to dos

and then i got up this morning there he was gone yeah another one of his doing departures

i suppose we should be used to it by no he left a thank you note on my mother which i thought was very similar

me flew out his labor i didn't supposed to be open that time of the morning for the best he might have made him

realize what a precarious position he's in you made it to my favor so do me

anything right now i'd boil ice tubes

dumplings

not too greasy all right and this spicy beef is well tasty barry you all did well son i had very into oriental cuisine you say

way just outside wolverhampton there is the most wonderful place

the shanghai rendezvous is called oh it's quite boston mate great favorite valleys wasn't my next

day but that is set swarm quiz a bit spicier than cantonese you say why

don't you i suppose uh supposed to set twilight's roost up here yet though is it one newcastle

oh yeah he's a really good idea this one because i'm getting much chinese go back in the spaniard will i

huh if we ever get there mate hey many of english food mine though when

ice and they were out there was probably shepherd's pie fish and chips huh hey

how thing's going with you and your razor well it's a bit old to tell from this

distance so yeah neville said that why don't i bring it out like you know my michael

the difference he said watch out right you know what neville's doing neville's promised brenda a free

trip right so he's lobbying all the lads to get their old ladies out there so you don't feel like the odd man out

i'm thinking about it though trying to say might do the chick device

not with them ludicrous bermudez you bought me i know they look quite nice to me alexa brown

um two more loggers two more loggers please squad

oh here why don't you bring christian out you don't see what you're racing olivia she's uh she's in germany

aren't you i don't stop flying out does he no she wouldn't like him why not mate i mean i can imagine why

i've not wanted to join us in dusseldorf when we're working out there but i mean spike's a different kitten of fish any

and if i were there with other couples like like a young christian and neville and brenda

i might see things in a different light what do you think wayne look stop asking me what i think will

you barry ever since i've known you you've asked my advice on everything about love sex and marriage yeah well

yeah nice this is surprising isn't it don't profess to be an expert in that department

you've really forgotten more about women i've got to learn

yeah well i know nothing about wives do i otherwise mine wouldn't have left me

this happened then those years ago

did you she never let on that's why i told her barry i told

brenda as well a couple of nights ago i didn't want to tell the lads because i don't know

probably my image i just thought what's the point you do me a favor tell the lads but tell

them i don't want to talk about it all right right nice

oh do you think it was something to do with all your friends barry did you hear me it's the end of the conversation closed book

you're the prince of trivia you think of something i talk about

do you want that last prawn ball [Music]

and this is where i like to keep myself in shape oh positive wow look at this

do you work out every day i like to yes two or three times a week i've got the

sweet danish bit comes in gives me a workout and it soon gets the

kink so i can turn it so how does this contraption work actually oh well barry you just started

on the start button here and then you just set it to whatever speed that you like

ah nice busting this and it's it's like sort of jogging without ever leaving the outside

very therapeutic and then you've got your sauna through here and then your swimming pool right out the back

great what a swimming pool up here people as much as good as a chocolate fire god i like to do 20 lengths a day

whatever the weather

is this where you get your suntan alley ah yes yes but of course you're glad to be getting a load of that when we go

over to spain so come on let's move out of here let's freshen up our drinks

[Music] it's all right

hello dennis peck come in hey i don't think you've met tell me

this is christine chadwick this is vicki uh yes it was a long time though where was it i used to have my hair done at maison

andre and you were the manicurist that's right you're looking lovely pet come on through we're just in here

all right so yeah there was a we spotted bothered at the club last night does

oh just some young cr*cker jacks without elite we're drinking them

he's brought the tort i see but you know then cena i reckon she's the reason he didn't

come home last night

she does look a very attractive young that yeah he doesn't know how to pick him

didn't he out in his sight he has a terrible punishment up market line in there

yeah well he didn't tell me he was bringing one of them to this do

christine how does it chris i don't really mind mr fraser

lavalier what is all this mr fraser everyone let's get a lemonade down here

how about you then hey very well

last night you said it was just the lads you said specifically no wives was just not my wife oh very funny

dennis i could have bought brenda long she wanted to come you know yeah yeah no i'm sorry i just forgot you know well

what's she going to say when she hears there was a woman here well ring a rope tilt her a cab where's

she going to get a babysitter this time of night oh never mind didn't give me a hard time and everybody's on my back man just give

us a night off will ya

hey hey let me do that oh thanks um

my name's wayne vicki you uh you got a spider vicky

oh yeah we've uh just got back actually it's like my second home really get lots of tourists there dude well in

the season it's packed but where we are we don't get like well the common ones you know well you might be seeing matcha mayhem with you

didn't mean that very well now that we're all gathered i'd like just to say a few words

why don't i show you the house chris all right great

i'm sorry that you lads have been farted around a bit but uh these things happen unexpected

contingencies however i'm very very pleased to say that everything has now been sorted out and you fly out there on saturday whoa

is that from here are from heathrow uh that is from here dennis uh saturday 13 45.

they don't do schedule flights from here on saturday uh well it's not a scheduled flight as such dennis it's more of what you might see our own

luxury personal charter what what i'm playing oh i'm up for that other brickley that's special i haven't quite gone that far

it's not on it now so paula may's got a wee company he's taking a tour down there and he very very happily happens to have some spare

seats oh christ economy measures already i made an animal distance no no no no no that's what

that if you'll just bear me out eyes now officially you lads are not going out there to work

because as you know i could not come across with the work permits and i want you out there because

i trust the british working man very patriotic i think if one is in a position to help the working man at the

present moment in time than one should do it i'm also not particularly keen on my spanish workers because when i'm out

there it's manana manana and when i'm not out there it's siesta siesta

yes they uh they they do tend to indolence don't they the average spaniard monger now that they've

joined the european community oh you might find it a there's a marked difference in there you know in the attitude

all i am saying barry is that officially we are going there as holidaymakers and arriving in a chaptered flight will help

to reinforce that impression now do you get my drift oh aye aye aye so it's buckets and spears and water wings is the order of

the dsm that's right you turn up for work in your swimming cousin you give it a few percentages for your

walking around money and your official money will be paid as per usual as per dennis as pair back here i was still staying at

the hotel miramar uh well unhappily dennis they were unable to take you

backroom conditions right living like derelicts all being taken care of then as you will

be staying in the same hotel as the rest of the holiday makers a very very charming spot and only a stone's throw from the beach

oh i well the spaniards is famous for how far they can know your store not there and they're also famous for how bad they can lay a brick and that's why

we are setting off the sunnier climb so until then my dear friends hasta la vista and liars

condias amigos okay who's for the game of pool oh i'm up for that like hi i'll have

again shall we take him on mr fraser oh ally boomer call me alistair nev

you and me take the winners don't ever win get b*mb yeah listen if it's a charter flight it'll

not be that expensive will it we could probably afford to take the waves do you fancy taking yours oh i don't

know neville she's got einstein looking after all our kids uh say it's bummer rather fancy getting amongst those

senoritas

ah good evening my friend can i get you a drink more goes nothing it's all right

oh yeah yeah right you know how i could grow cause someone's waving inside this sniffle

i don't know i've often talked about putting in the ball in our room downstairs to do if you remember you know right by the bye i made nothing as grand as this of

course but just something that's big enough for me to get behind hang on hey listen have you had a wheel with

hazel yet about g*n spin yes yes i have actually um she seems quite keen but uh she's in a

position of great responsibility never i mean she can't just drop everything in a job like that and come straight out you know

no i'm not but it's still a possibility is it yeah yeah

i think so yeah i thought i'd best get out there myself and see the land you know

what about you win what about wayne what any chance here asking crystal to spin

haven't you told them yet no i haven't actually know i've enough

time i haven't seen sight in the santa live since i last conflate what's this well there's your chance hey

level this might come as a bit of a shock to you mate how long have you known denison oh about

a year off and on when i was doing your nails weren't you going through a divorce

why was i biting them a lot no i just thought you'd mentioned it that's all

it's all behind me now dennis is divorced isn't he yeah is ali well not technically

she wouldn't hear of it she's a staunch catholic you know she's not going to give up the money either does that bother you

oh no i mean mars just a bit of paper these days isn't it perhaps well listen it's been lovely

talking to your pet after all this time you know you should come out to spain we'll have a good laugh out there

and i get really bored when he's on the golf course all day well anyway i'll have to go see you later

and a jammy one towards the obama all right all right it's your league dears we're making the best of 17. rack him up

you rack him and i'll smack i'm off valley i'm going to meet karen

down in the club uh lovely okay see you later lads all right

lady boiler

let's face it he's had it coming to him wasn't he yeah i think he knows that he never

leaves it alone does he you must have slept with half of dusseldorf before he met christa

i think the experience might have changed him actually there right added to the fact that he's been around people like you and me planned to have a

stabilizing influence niche i don't think i've got any influence on wayne i think he thinks i'm dull

no mature by my word for it actually

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uh [Music]

hello going out are we yeah i'm going down to cannabelle's it's this club that ali owns uh that's right we

were all there last night well do you want to come down tonight i could leave your name at the door

do you mean me or all of us well i like to always do everything as a group oh no no no no i'll do loads of things

on me mind you might be a bit off tonight

because i am at his guest is it yourself maybe we could leave it

till spain eh leave what a bit of dancing or something

i'll have to see about that will we [Music]

[Applause]

that's mean lovely motor squad i didn't mean the car

[Music] anything i should do about christine norma

no no she brought it up actually said she had some holiday at you should love to come well i agreed at the

time had a few like you know she always feeling fairly mellow

i don't know what you're so worried about she's a lovely lass she fancy's going to spin with you i

think you should be flattered oh no no it's not that is just well in the cold late today i'm not too sure

that's such a good idea you know what will he be in there all the lads it's not the lads that's giving you cold

feet it's you what do you mean you don't just

build walls at work dennis you build them round yourself you're scared of facing your own

feelings well me track record's not too good in that department is

wee it with you man you've been sitting on the fence for ages with this lass

maybe this will force the issue what's the worst that could happen you could find you're not compatible on

the other hand you could have a bloody good time and you should have a bit of fun

you should write one of those agony columns you know norma i care about you man i'm worrying myself

sick sometimes about what's happening to you anyway frank's due back from the gulf in

two months oh [ __ ] my host to myself [Music]

don't go and get that probably for you anyway

hello hello moxie where are you long away from you

mate there's no need to be so evasive man i haven't put a tap on the phone yet you know

did the spanish number come off yeah hi we're leaving on saturday

cheers then

so the job's on apparently passport's not easy i mean we're talking

about real money yeah don't worry about that gotta be put aside hey you know those false id papers you

got us yeah yeah well i won't be needing them where i'm going to consider path exchange

checking times no later than 12 15. right reservations have been made for the wives who are going but you pick those

up at the airport for which retribution will be made in due course to use through it yeah well i didn't expect it to be hard

no freebies like dennis

yeah pamela tells me there's only six tickets where one the lads had to drop well that leaves you short-handed

doesn't it that's all right no it's not all right i want this job done in three weeks and then you're back in that plane and i'm already worried about waves and wayne's

going out there that would affect the world of course it will you know what it's like i thought you'd be back at six o'clock i thought you're coming back to

take me snorkeling i guarantee the job will be done all right somebody else make up the numbers right if you insist

i'll kind of own a job center than that well no no dan is dennis don't be daft no no no i know a young lad he's a new trade very good worker

and i know that he's skinned because he's lost a wee fox in one of my casinos well as long as you can graft sure he can right mean the large we're having a

farewell drink don't the portland night yeah the clock till the bay there lovely can you meet the ladies okay oh and dennis

don't bring them back to cannibals afterwards will you

[ __ ] look i'm hoping you're not going to make her life a misery out there oh man well i'll tell you what she's not

being around because i'm bringing christine with me oh yeah old bug fantastic that's great

get it get it straight down there

as i promise you tonight is an all-male evening rate of alcoholic abuse

celebration and depravity we could have chosen something better than this place can we we're only starting off

here man we're meeting this with a lot then we're going to meet we're in the disciples if i wasn't bothered to get on the bloody snoke attack why would be here to

closing time no fear bummer wants to go dance ah we're not going to cannibals that's fine by me i hate those small

friends of discords whatever happened to the palliative big band the sounds of saxophone decking

through the rafters i once took tap dancing lessons now you

did what come on well well why why why

well i've seen all those wonderful films if fred astaire ginger rogers donald

o'connor wonderful dancers people aren't there lovely i wanted to emulate them and anyway i mean

auntie was a teacher so i got the rebate on the lessons come on then do you bit oh yeah oh yeah well hello

fred i've got the right sort of shoes way on the floor it's the wrong sort of floor just do one

little bit you don't have to buy a drink all night i don't know that's great okay come on on this dude i think i can

still remember one little routine

it's been a long time

off your g*n but uh you got to remember that this is to the

tune of keep young and beautiful right right feet don't you found me now all right

okay young man beautiful

[Music] [Applause]

[Laughter]

[Music] who's that see him a child would cause

darla but at the discord of the olympia sicily you reckon he's come looking for ourselves oh i should be doing that hey

look knuckle on the head right we're not gonna play it anymore i wouldn't want any brother listen will somebody tell me what's going on what do you want

huh you come looking what i sure do i'll give you a chance to turn my bottle shown i didn't want any trouble though

anyway i'm not looking for you are you not well i suggest you piss up and find another watering hole because i've got a few more of them

i might just be tempted to pull the front end here for yourself

look man if it wasn't for him he'd still be getting a spear remember

i'm looking for a block called dennis patterson that's me who are you martin cooper

mr fraser said you might be one short for that spanish joke he's not coming sorry he's not good

well he's not outlet well he's not done shut up

look if you've had some brother with these two lads this is not gonna work out now is it why not why not because we're supposed

to be a team man that's why not i haven't got a problem if they've got a problem that's their

problem i need that job i'll do me [ __ ]

i'll see you at the airport nothing ever seems to go smoothly for us

does he

the food does seem so good tonight right there's no difference in the food sun

that mood that's down the crapper well it's got to be said this little

development with this morning guys i mean it took the shane up the trip dispute about everybody had it all the blokes in your castle you have

to pick on here what we picked on a lot of people in there do the odds on that outlandish

oh in a minute hang on it was me what started that body was like martin gadgey mummy wait hey hey if you remember the incident

occurred because you tried to get into his old lady's knickers oh hey hold on i think you all want to point the finger about that do you wear

i've been dropping the clothes plenty of times while you're ramping me up

and i can't say i fancy working alongside he follows me

i called around your house your sister said you were all in here

before i do though there's uh just a couple of things i'd like to say you know uh i've got my passport sorted out you

know so you go to spain there's no problem fantastic well i know of course you lot

a lot of aggravation you know with all this stuffing and diving and that so well well if you don't want us to go you

know i'll understand and there'll be no hard feelings

rides again i'm in the nick of time my son i'm made up i mean you lot don't exactly owe me any

favors don't lose a fever man a toast to moxie

where is your brandon it's francis foggerty

it's what francis foggerty francis don't believe it

where'd you get francis foley from it wasn't my idea you know it was up to me i'd like to be called

derrick but no derrick died in kilburn on tuesday [Music]

mr paterson yeah party of ten for swallow twos are you all here yeah i will let me have your

tickets and your passports will get you

[Music] checked [Music]

you know it's very noble of your day to bring you and your mom along you know keep him out mischief listen listen do

you know why because we're going to be sampling all that poultry down there there'll not be that much of that man

tourist season season's well finished that'll be enough didn't you worry anywhere they put a lot when they shorted someone

before the land yeah are you trying to tell me right that on this channel there ain't going

to be a surplus of sales girls secretaries hairdressers i'll tell you what we're going to be well locked off

before we've even landed something checking over here mr patterson

hold on what's all this lot then oh it's the spinny moon district senior citizen society

they go every year and you were lucky to get those seats i wouldn't waste any time win not

steaming now get it all locked off son

yes it started a while ago strangers thrown together

helpless heroes caught in a dream boy we made such a crazy team

out of luck and down to them other through laughed it off

back with the boys again

[Music]

back with the boys again

[Applause] [Music]

you