05x02 - Au Revoir: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

she's the first woman to show an interest in me as a man bummer he's not coming back

it's to your b*mb lucky kid outback c*ck's up to his reputation it's all over watch all over the lads is

history do you see me different pregnant one reckless condomless night

in goddamning hell's belt talk when bloody pierce pierce brosnan

no he isn't he's a traitor and a scoundrel i hope that's not your hand

monkey

it's barry i think he's been taken hostage buddy [Music]

i'm serious man the reckonings got nabbed by these hmong bandits how do you know nevis on

the phone now listen up no you're breaking up listen i'll just get back to the hotel

right you'll ring me on the land line as soon as you get the chance right oh i get your skates on taking us to thought he was on the orient express

oh but that wasn't in the brochure no no no he wasn't on the train it was on a separate trip to a temple or

somewhere oh wait mama got a good g*n oh we get a refund

oh wait then you're going to get your scarecrow i can't and not yet why not yet why'd you think

oh definitely put that man the thousands of them in idea what about the cab driver is it gonna

last that long [Music]

hey thanks for this lad things feel better just by your being here

by the time they got themselves together last night it was too dark so they've had a few hours they'd started it so been a ransom demand

no often happens like that the police said to the family or the company have to sweat it out so how's tatiana taking all

this she's wrestling at the hotel oh wrestling fraud but what are you

saying she's pregnant since last night no wonder they call it the honeymoon

[Music]

express can you take me to drugstore please thank you

[Applause] you're part of a wealthy investment

group disappears you or your colleagues would be prime targets for this kind of abduction

especially so if someone clocked us at the station together we'd think we'd partnered up with him it

seems the most likely theory where would these bondage take them one of many places

certainly towards the border we have army petros up here

but it is large area difficult country is there no way you could get in touch with them you know on some jungle grapevine or whatever

because they've got to be told they got the wrong blower ah cause then one same know that we're gonna go see at a swap

swap yeah we can meet on some neutral tooth and then give his body back and we can

give them him oh wait a minute no no i'll let them blame for you drag your horse into the hills he's the

one with a wonga behind him one longer hi he's the one with the money

he's not wrong mine talkman your partners would have no problem rising the ransom i don't think this is spectacle it certainly isn't

works for me

[Music] where are you going

i need a drugstore chemist where do you take me

hello do you speak english

[Music]

italiano [Music]

you come you're right here tell him not to expect tip

you wish to see husband again he's not my husband yeah once was now divorced

you were with him we're trying to work things out because i'm carrying his

child but this you do not need to know what you need to know is

you took a wrong man how wrong man because you're not so smart i think

man youtube has no money you see if he had money i might still be married

to him oh you're all right tatiana

no i'm not all right i'm hot and my feet hurt what would you like to drink i would

like a very large grey goose vodka but i'll settle for tonic water

what you still hate me too long ago that got other things that i would mind

you know mine too they want 50 000 pounds hold on who wants

they give no names i'm taken to warehouse with c*ck you must have been scared witless oh

please half my family i must go mafia did you tell them i've got the wrong

glue they don't believe we don't care 50 000 that is deal oh

well we never see buddy again hell's bollocks now hang on a minute who's to say these are the real abductors

i think of this i say i want proof they give me this it's not a chunk of

his ear is it happily no they will call

when they don't say your little cover this morning let me

explain something they're not my lot i'm just a sort of a middleman to a middleman

so you are telling us you have no money last night on train you make believe you

are a big will big remold pet all mouth no trousers

[Music] hello yes this is me

hi okay

hello buddy are you all right oh i like chatty honor i didn't know

what they were putting me through too have they hurt you that they're treating

me all right actually are you safe give me that phone yeah the word man

hello oh what what are you doing there we're all here and we're not leaving

until we'll get you back in count on that right listen where the boats are

i have no idea i don't think we've reached where we're going we're just taking a break for a for a

bowl of noodles and a puff on the opium pipe i could do with a hit myself

50 feet to k*ll him i'll tell you what these knock-off gucci loafers weren't made to trick you through the jungle mug

hello you're no prize now listen you whoever you are you have

made a terrible mistake here now what you should do is let mr taylor go right set him free

straight away because if you don't you're gonna unleash a [ __ ] storm down upon your own head because we work with a british

government and nem's got the sas then we'll be

right up your a*s within 24 hours [Music]

you just run off you scared him off man

[Music]

she's about so high and so wide very dainty feet

are you seeing their feet heavy you're a slight dog man hey come on why i need help i've never bought anything before never

bought a woman anything before all right listen the best advice i can give is to stay away from clothes

they're always the wrong size or the wrong color so just just good point

[Music] table mats you can't go wrong with table mats

moss can we go man i'm gagging for a beer yeah okay

your friends have kidnapped man right yeah oh do you know i can take it here

just down here moss you sure don't remember this you know what's your buck sludge

tell them what you told boss i know where your friend is

why didn't you go to the police please don't pay me you pay me then i

take it to your friend how much forty thousand baht

almost is how do you know where he is i work with

people who took him why should we believe you because i was there when i took woman

wife of your friend these people of yours do they know that

you are meeting us nah how come they don't pay me

you pay me comes just on a 550 punt very doable yeah will you will you

leave us leave us for two minutes we have a talk okay

right well i don't know what we're gonna do with this information you could try and beat him down

no you're that bug i mean what what can we actually physically do i don't have the money i need to take it with a buddy

i'm gonna put it what would you say to the pundit uh oh i've come for me mate thanks very

much i'll pay them the ransom can't scratch it together between them

if we pull all the wages and max out what cash gods should be up the raised 10 grand the

150. i had them but that was when they thought body was some kind of corporate suit

by now they look cutting on his nut sure i reckon 10k is a fair price for a blooming spot think about it those man

supposing you did find that camp right what's gonna happen i'll tell you they'll take the cash say

thank you very much now we've got two hostages yeah that's right that's exactly what happened

all right plan b i'll go with him but i'll stop short of that camp like

how about me safe mate and then i'll ring the polish down here on a satellite four and then pinpoint the exact location via

the signal ow technology and the name concerning the choppers in

the army that's above and beyond us well someone's got to do it

don't have any choice do it and the clock's ticking it's a hell of a risk man yeah i feel better already it's in

decision what's the k*ller once you've decided on summit everything else

becomes clear i can't get it

can i come in but

they tell me what you plan it is very brave perhaps also very

stupid well it's for me to judge pet you will need money i have dears

[Music] maybe you can sell in the morning i'm not taking money tariana

but i appreciate your offer and sure would buddy as you wish but this i insist you take

[Music] bloody hell where'd you get that my

father gave it to me when i'm 15. he didn't consider a stuffed planter

must go dangerous place and you go to dangerous place all right cheers

[Music] take care bring buddy safe home

tabiana i don't know if you love buddy or not

i know i do so i want you to look me square in the eye and tell the baby is his

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] hey you know a long way north

all right we're in that golden trial well where all those ships disappear without trace

that's the bermuda triangle you dumb b*llet rodent get things

walking from here like no walk later

you've got to be joking what was your name

how long on elephants uh three hours maybe four one

four can charlie chan doesn't know the medical history of my a*s should have brought your over ring

cushion [Music]

he could protect us anywhere couldn't he

[Applause] [Music]

uh

i'll get through brenda well it's not surprising when you think where we are

well if we knew where we were

yeah that out i let myself get talked into this thighs might have had something to do

with it oh i suppose i'd be cool because

you know you didn't want to be the one who looks like a web exactly this one would early in that

except indiana osborne of course so do we trust this bloke

wiser not to hi i agree so when we're kept at night

we're doing [ __ ]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

they took the bait british government will pay for them of course they will

[Music] look i promised a hostage

thanks to their misguided sense of loyalty you're going to end up with half a football team

so you and i are sorted mating

[Music]

oh whatever you do don't move what

just keep it perfectly still what's wrong let's not tell you you

might panic i'm already panicked when you're deaf bully

it's a snake then what you doing no idea but i would try not to irritate

it this is poisonous

shut [Music]

[Music]

what does this mean it means that b*stard set us up

[Music]

we're nearly there all i can think about is staying on my feet i've got jelly like some double visions

shut the grave and we're brits remember

[Music]

hey

[Applause] [Music]

ah

he's getting the right policy for bringing us here though probably don't want an extra five months

to feed

yeah sorry man you're pressing the wrong tit it's the one on the right shout out suit yourself

one for the scrap look you say i was to show they've got us to like up the andy ama

hi hi hi

[Music]

you have no voice understand hey i am i don't buy

[Music] it

[Music] oh

[Music]

you're working barry stilley they didn't say he wasn't as hoods go i reckon we've hit rock

bottom with this one pigs in the basement big bugs no beds

no bog and a bamboo roof yeah and they've been improving over the

years haven't they the odds one of the ntm was brought the line out

what do you think is going to happen now then i don't even know man we're not going to take hostages for

cash daughters well i don't think they're going to k*ll me oh god brenda and the girls have been beside ourselves

i told you not to come peace out shut up perry it's not helping man

i know but i did warn him oh let it go i'm just saying well don't

[Applause] let's set the trap and we walk right into it i know they've got six hostages

six ransoms they'll probably retire from the kid in our business after ruslan i won't fetch much i've only got a

mountain top smith and i can't see her shelling out a pension for me

[Music] [Applause]

[Music]

so it's amazing that that old video should

still give us a why even though we're prisoners why

i don't know why man it's a custom on someone isn't it why it's a custom

for having sick moxie man when they do that that's a why oh that's a why

why are man that's it hey the old bird's taking grug to another hot that might be where barry is

could be right off paint [Music]

might be a few more of them and all you know what ostriches you know nuns

missionaries doctors without the artist good old borders you'd have bullock

oh yeah i've never mastered these things me well at least we can't say we ain't got a plot to kiss him

i think somebody already did

what is that endless racket frogs fornicating

don't we ever stop for a cigarette

[Music]

uh

uh how far do you think you're going to get

man i'm only planning to go as far as that other hutman then

where's your god at done what a dumb boy to get his breakfast

body clothing

[Music]

[Music] do

[Music]

[ __ ]

dennis you alright mate yeah now um

oh wow i've twisted my ankle on the heart up here yeah i'm

roughed up a note of them no villagers are all right it's just

the young notice of the machine g*ns is a problem what are you doing here we're all here

man hostages just like yourself hmm look we'll have a word with him right

we'll try and get you up to our place you've got a place you know

is it nicer than my place poor can you see that paper laying there

oh man he's still in the lovely school

[Music] ah my god's better father [Music]

what do you think of the name diana that that's if this is that's a facility

that's if he's a boy of [Music]

oh course [Music]

hang in there buzzer hi oh yes sir bye bye set off for a beat

[Music]

quick [Music]

you want cigarettes

[Music]

so [Music]

this happened nobody was trying to escape we just wanted to see our mate save your

brother this sadistic b*stard doesn't give it to us

now i'm going to hide bye

[Applause] [Music] fire

[Music]

[Music] oh

[Music]

oh hi

try and drink some without me oh

the arms feel six inches longer probably armies i'll tell you what those b*stards mean business you know we're

gonna have to tread very weary from now on the old geezer seems okay oh you didn't

have note to see when them strung us up did he they're all [ __ ] scared of bloody tall dragons aren't they did you see

barry hi how was he b*mb dude i knew of him as how he is

hi opium hi well open with tears like more mate is

back yeah you know there's a jar in every house tell you what after the year's experience

yourself did they not give you any food at all

not a sausage which incidentally i'd k*ll for oh yeah please with branson's pickle

what are you doing boxy looking for bugs what i already think they want to listen into

our conversation oh no the edibles thought that's what them celebrities do on that survival show to

survive these look quite tasty bit of protein eh no no i'm not eating bugs

try one of these down help i'm a pretty get me out of here

i wish you wouldn't do that do what that thing where you suck your

teeth it's really annoying oh i've noticed that with it ah well if we're making wishlists us i

wish you wouldn't keep scratching your privates but i do you do it so much you don't even know you're doing it god i wish you

luck would shut up they've been a prisoner of w*r i used to love them films

the wooden horse great escape oh never heard of him that was germany

man taking a piss out of the crouch seem to have such a good time in them stalags

didn't they filler fights and cocoa adding radials and biscuits

four wasn't much fun with the jabs t*rture isn't he river cry that was a

great film is that the one about the bridge you've heard of that one have you

hey well you know why alec guinness built a

journey forced to wouldn't he no no no no no he did it for morale

to give his men a purpose to stop and grow and bunk us from monotony and boredom i think that's what

we should do build a bridge we'll built something i mean this would be outside

anything's got to be better than being banged up in this bamboo sweat box great idea then because then we can get

my hands on some tools and there's a fine line between the tool

and a weapon [Applause]

all right you wanna see me hi i've got a

proposition you see my friends and me you know we're not rich man

you know no no money no part you know we're we're working man you know we work

with our hands see we build things so

well why don't we build you something uh a wash house what how wash

outside i mean you need one you know you've only got one tap for the whole village and most of the time the women have to

to have to carry all this water from the stream and wash all the clothes with rocks why do

you do this well you need to wash the house you know these people are still going to be living here

long time after you've already scoffed

no no no go now hey might die

um

[Music]

[Applause] [Music]

okay [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

times [Applause]

i'm used to [ __ ] but i've never laid bricks with it

[Music]

oh he seems very perky oz all right it's

because we're the team again man hey if you had to carry a virginia b*mber over hey

paul we are doing you fear yeah you know i mean your boys

could have been helping us do this if they weren't out in the jungle running and playing cowboys

us wha call it

what's he doing this when you grew up peanut brookie

yeah or if you work with wood peanuts you could be your chippy chippy

chippy very good ah i've got one younger than this at

home mike alysta yeah and this is my mom see

this is my intended elena

you don't know that dear you've only just met her you haven't even done the deeds yet

doesn't matter i just know just accepted us harry's going to be

your father moxie's going to be a husband yeah but did you have some other plan for us us

you know a little bungalow and whitley bay be like the odd couple your target your horse

[Music] what's going on what's happening

they wanted to split this up and then put gnaws and dennis in with barry [Music]

oh wait then buzzer let's help you over there hey they're letting them out

[Music] [Applause]

like alec guinness when he came out the sweat box

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause] there you go buddy have a bowl of

today's special whatever it is oh i've got a pretty good grub actually

and i'm always ravenous when i come off the pipe have you been smoking that [ __ ] every day

well yeah they know the anxiety off don't know it's my life for these people

they used to be puppy farmers before the government asked them to burn their crops and grow coffee or onions

was that the grape is that the way they became binders yeah well imagine if you were in bordeaux

and they burnt your vines and told you to grow rhubarb see what i don't get is we've been

treated like crap since we got it then they're not being strung up by their thumbs and all the time you're talking a pipe a day and getting double dumplings

that's because they reckon he must be somebody important especially as also i clean looking for

him i can't believe you did why road elephants

forwarded rivers it's snakes that's tatiana did you see her

we're sent to home you know thought that would be best for the band i go back home from

thailand to see my doctor as wives and mothers we are appealing to government to do

something what did you learn today well the thing that narrowed down the area where the

hostages might be held they don't think they're in thailand any longer apparently they're over the border in them

layoffs have random negotiations been initiated this they don't want to say i say to

them where is a troubleshooter they'd cough up the dough quick enough if they were mps or tycoons

i'm appealing directly to tony blair do something bring home this man bring home the

father of my unborn child

oh sorry then yeah man there's a tree back there with rubbery leaves

white plains why the sudden invest in butler well in the absence of pogroms

yeah wow oh with a g*n do you know what it is if i could get my

hands you're not good i'd shove it too far up

must be their last tell them it's steamed rice for dinner again tonight any news on the ranch of money yet

no one paid nothing not goodbye

[Music] [Applause] [Music]

[Applause] nope

[Music]

[Music]

thought if we found the british consulate in chiang mai maybe they could trace our location from the signal

no no one knows the number don't know directory inquiries needed look we've got the phone somebody just

think they think he's gonna wake up in a minute [Music]

hello never is never are you safe i i'm fine

don't ask us any questions right i need it to phone the only day in london and get us the number of the

british consulate in chiang mai has anybody got a phone i need to keep this line open and i've got

a call directory say hello to your dad hello

hello darling yeah no i'm missing you and all

yeah i thought you'd be home soon oh gentlemen water time what do you want still or sparkling

neville's nick the phone is he oh [ __ ]

i'm just getting the number now neville yeah right hang on a bit has anybody got a

pencil [Music]

british consulate hey it's neville hope you're one of the hostages

i i can't talk now but i'll try and keep this line up and so you can choose where we are

you do realize what's going on here didn't you this is british workers toiling into into boiling heat

for the benefit of your community mad dogs and englishmen go out in the midday zone

there i don't suppose no cars means much to the hormone does he die [Music]

again and i'll knock that bloody block off what what you said [ __ ] my

marjorie oh right i meant that did you all right i did

[Music]

all it

[Music]

no it's okay it's okay not to worry about

hey you have enough time any idea how's brenda

she says she's holding up did you see a whole new castle got on hey he won't believe this but the phone

buzzed just before i slung it yeah text message so hit retrieve and you'll never guess who it was from

oh i then didn't milk it talk with friggin piss

he said he had to make payoffs to the local tribesmen where the pills on the payout for

stitching them up in cuba not b*stard [Music]

[Applause] cliff just took a call from the british

consulate in chiang mai about the boys yeah we've got a rough bead on where they might be it's in uh it's in laos

so ba*ls in our clock you're albert's still in some danger

i've never had much luck with men

what you gonna do

[Music]

everybody

stop now stop now huh get thing video cat thing

leave leave it now you want to move us if the dune will never get found

yeah now you can push off power but uh we are staying put what man

it means we not go with you

i k*ll you then otters come oh it was just [ __ ] up we've got no choice man

[Music]

foreign [Music]

[Music]

10 years

you're mad b*stard i've been tramping around these bloody hills for hours did you bring any beer i did actually

support i bought a couple of six-packs but i finished the last one for lunch [Applause]

hey uh what's this guy doing oh he's like uh head bullock lizona very bruised

right well uh get yourselves together lads because when we get down the valley i can whistle off the chopper

where were you missed why'd you send the right direction hey hang on a minute we're forgetting

someone aren't we we haven't finished this yet man these villagers aren't going anywhere you know

we're promised them a washout

uh i totally agree with dennis we can't leave him in the lurch plus

they've been extremely kind to me it's not right give us a break guys denman

in three days we can't be back in bangkok where some of us have unfinished business in a whirlpool

boss can you remember us ever not finishing a job

yep well i freaked out but there was only a spot of plaster in the door like it doesn't [ __ ] right man

you guys gone mad in the sun or something

no dan's right can't get yourself a bowl of noodles pit

we've got a roof to finish exactly

army fine hostages my people leave village

no hostage sir now no one will pay money not my fault

find yourself another hostage

[Laughter]

maybe i found one

[Music] hang on a minute [Music]

um

[Applause]

[Applause]

oh guys come on

[Applause]

okay

rub your bellies

[Music]

you've certainly had a checkered career since you joined us i'm gonna have to keep you away from the

world's trouble spots might make them worse well we're no strangers to danger but

we've had enough for a bit like you know your outfit's somewhat depleted

or just temporarily some of the lads want to catch up with their lives again afterward or deal in the jungle we could enlist

others top rank obviously i or we could join another team you know if you like as long as those three

stick well together that case i might have something for you stable

regime moderate climate no mosquitoes some chummy

oh hey look at this fold this in the drawer when i was [ __ ]

hey look at us i always was a handsome buster

hey what your brenda see you what are you talking about about the journey [Music] she said i'll feed her then pet that's

why i'm breaking away

[Music]

that's why i'm breaking away

[Music]

till love comes around

[Music]

you