[footsteps crunching]
[insects chirping]
[zooming sound]
[eerie orchestral music]
Can I live?
I mean, you cropped me
out of a photo.
Your eyes were closed
and I was feeling my look.
Why do you have to make
everything into life or death?
Did I say that?
Did I use those words?
-I mean...
-All right.
Come on, can I talk about how
you hiding my existence
hurts my feelings without you
referring to it as histrionics?
-Really? Histrionics?
-Yeah.
You've used that exact word
to talk about my feelings.
I think you even make a point
of saying "his" trionics.
[laughing] What?
That's...
Okay. All right.
[Jenn S] You guys are both
making valid points,
and we all have feelings,
and feelings are what matter.
See? Feelings are important.
I agree.
Okay, so because
you feel left out...
I didn't say that.
I just said...
We don't have to do everything
together, Dan.
Soup's on!
And yes, I did,
in fact, make soup,
along with a divine casserole.
Anybody need a refill?
[Jenn R] So, by this point,
I'm three sheets to the wind,
and Jen here decides that
it's the perfect moment
for me to say hi to her boss.
[Jenn S] Yeah, I figured
if Jenn was sated,
it would lower the odds she's
going to yell at everyone
about me working all hours.
[Jenn R] Hey, I didn't call out
your boss
for trying to hide from
his wife and kids, did I?
[Jenn S] No, you didn't.
You told Robin
my late nights were--
What was your phrase, babe?
[Jenn R] Um, the biggest waste
of time and resources
since the Spider-Man musical.
Yes, and have you been fired?
Not yet, but...
oh, my God.
So, KJ, have you had any wild
holiday parties?
Oh, I don't go to any of those.
I'm not really trying to work
unpaid hours at the office.
You're welcome, by the way,
for saving you
-from all that bullshit.
-Oh, I wouldn't mind.
I also wouldn't mind
if you went to
some of my label's
release shows.
Well, why would I go to those?
Those are your work events.
I don't know anyone there.
I don't know.
Just, you know, for support.
[chuckling] Okay. How?
How would I help?
I mean, what am I going to do?
Do we have to think of some
type of charming anecdote
to perform together?
Forget it.
[Dan] Oh, I, uh,
I saw your vacation photos.
-Norway.
-[Jenn R] Yeah.
[Jenn S] Oh my God, they're
less sad than I expected.
[Jenn R] You know, hey,
it was fun to get out somewhere
just like
in the middle of nowhere,
even if all they do
is solve murders and eat kipper.
[Dan] I wish we could do that.
What? Eat kipper?
No.
Uh, get away.
I mean, maybe not...
Or maybe, but, you know,
just somewhere.
Yeah, I could be into somewhere.
Oh, well, you should go
to my family's cabin.
They would have a blast,
right, Jenn?
Oh, yeah.
Y'all would love it up there.
It's so peaceful and quiet,
and nobody's around,
and it's just lovely.
Jenn, Jenn, thank you.
That's so nice of you.
I mean, that--
that would be great.
Yeah, thanks.
And no rules.
Well, one rule, please
don't burn the place down.
-[Dan] Easy enough.
-Yes, thank you.
We'll have to
check our schedule.
[Jenn R] Oh, well, anytime.
We're flexible.
[Jenn S] Oh, and we can tell you
where to hike.
Yeah, and it sounds--
it sounds great.
We'll just have to talk
to each other about it first,
but I'm sure we will find a time
to go, sometime.
How's next weekend?
[Jenn R] Sure.
Uh, no one in my family
has plans to use it,
so cabin's yours if you want.
[clearing throat]
Next weekend it is.
-[Jenn S] You're gonna love it!
-[Jenn R] Of course!
So excited for you guys.
[Jenn S] Yeah, do the hike
with the waterfall.
[Jenn R] Oh,
there's waterfalls--
Do you mean the big one
or the little one?
[leisurely jazz music]
[Dan] By the way, the night's
still young
No such thing
as sleep in this town
If I turn around,
I'll fall down
And I'll have to start
all over again
By the way,
the night's still young
No such thing as sleep
in this town
Can you turn it down?
Turn it down.
If I turn around
I'll fall down.
I didn't mean that you had to
turn it off.
Mm. It's no problem.
[Dan] This will be nice.
Yeah, I think so.
As long as one night
we end up curled
in front of a roaring fire,
I will be happy.
What about you?
What's on the docket?
Um... hmm.
Mostly just sit
and enjoy the quiet.
Read, maybe
get some writing done.
How about you?
Anything else?
Well, I was just looking
forward to cooking together.
Uh, the kitchen there's
supposed to be great.
Maybe take some hikes.
Maybe... really,
just hanging out together.
Yeah, yeah, hiking could be fun.
Maybe we'll run into a deer
and have
some kind of nature moment.
Yeah, maybe.
Not a zero percent chance.
[piano note]
[KJ] Oh my God. Wait, I thought
you said that
-this was a private road.
-Uh, it is.
[KJ] Does he know that?
-Hello.
-[man] Hi.
Can I, uh, help you?
Yeah, we're friends
of the Ramsays.
We're using their place.
I'm Dan.
-KJ.
-Oh, fun.
Two whole letters.
Uh, I'm Rick.
I live around the corner,
just, you know,
stretching my legs.
Yeah, sure.
Of course.
Anyway, uh, you two
have a blessed day.
[both snickering]
-"Have a blessed day."
-Wow.
I'm really glad that that
is all he said.
We are really
in the middle of nowhere.
-Yes, we are.
-Hm.
[Dan speaking indistinctly]
You know what? Your goodwill.
Karate chops...
for spider webs..
[KJ] Can't just use a stick?
[door creaking open]
I guess you could do that,
but that's...
I don't know.
Wow.
Here it is.
It's real.
[KJ chuckling]
Oh, thank God.
There's a TV
in case nature sucks.
Mm.
Oh! Oh.
There's so much space!
[wind rushing]
[KJ laughing softly]
Oh, my God.
What is it?
Glue trap?
-Are you serious?
-[Dan grunting]
Okay, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
-Just sit down for a second.
-No, no, it's okay.
-How sticky is it?
-I got it, I got it. Ew.
Okay.
Okay.
[trap clattering]
All good.
Oh, man.
Can't wait to get
my Dagwood on.
Your-- excuse me?
You know, from the comics?
[exaggerated snore]
Oh. Uh, I don't--
Oh. Hm.
[contented sigh]
Hm...
[footsteps approaching]
Hey.
Thought I lost you there
for a minute.
Oh. Hey, you found me.
You know,
this bed is awfully big.
Do you maybe
want to share it with me?
Are you sure?
I mean, I wouldn't
want to intrude.
No.
No, I actually saved a spot,
just for you.
[Dan chuckling]
-What? What?
-Oh, I'm sorry, nothing.
It's just funny, because I...
I saved a spot right for you.
-There.
-Oh.
[couple kissing]
[belt buckle clicking]
Uh, just give me--
give me a second.
[clearing throat]
Are you okay?
[KJ] Just a minute.
Okay.
Uh, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna go see
if they left any snacks.
Okay.
[gentle orchestral music]
Oh, God.
Yah! [chuckling]
[Dan yelping]
Hey. Hey, what's going on?
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I, uh...
I just, uh...
Oh, God, that was a, um...
What? What?
-Is that a mouse?
-Yeah, on a...
Those glue traps
are so inhumane.
Yeah, I-- I totally agree.
It's not like I set it up.
Sorry I screamed.
There was just...
it wasn't...
What I was expecting to see.
No, it's okay.
We both know I'd do the same
if it was a snake, right?
-I mean, we both would.
-Oh, well--
Yeah, okay.
-I will throw it away.
-Okay.
All right.
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God!
It's still ali--
Okay, then,
uh, here, compromise.
What if we...
What if we make
the end of its life better?
Like, when we throw it
in the trash,
we can add some snacks.
Some, like, apple slices,
or cheese.
I don't know, we can look up
whatever mice like to eat,
and then, you know, we give it
a nice last little meal.
Okay, um...
So, instead of showing
this mouse some mercy,
you want to feed a creature
glued to plastic,
and draw out
what's left of its life,
so it dies sh1tting
all over itself?
Assuming the as*h*le's
not already glued shut,
then, you know.
Okay, it was just an idea.
I'm... sorry,
I don't like k*lling mice.
Yeah, I don't really like
to do it, either.
I'm just trying to do
what's right.
You say that like I'm not.
I...
[Dan sighing]
Is that a shovel?
["Karma the Knife"
by Angelica]
Ooh, I lack the discipline
I've broken
time and time again
I f*cked up last week
And I'll probably
f*ck up the next
[squelching sound]
Everything comes
right back around, and I--
Cowards only talk
about their fears
People just denying their
bad habits through the years
-I'm not one--
- [shovel slamming]
... over what I owe
I'll overthink about it,
and I'll si--
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God!
-Oh, sorry.
-Sorry, no, it's just, uh...
[music ceases]
Were you dancing with me?
Uh, maybe.
[KJ] Uh...
[birds calling]
[KJ] Oh.
["Bunny Man"
by Piranha Rama]
Oh
[Dan laughing]
I make myself mad,
you know what I mean
I make myself mean,
and turn me loose
And when I lose my grip,
I get tangled in
Don't bring it in,
to call it out
Just bring it back in
while you still have friends
While you still
have friends
Tend to those ends
So you say,
I'm leaving home
I can't do it
all alone
So you say,
I'm feeling down
Plant dead roses
in the--
[device clattering]
Good internets today, then?
Hmm. Yeah.
You know, I was actually hoping
there wouldn't be service.
Now I actually
have to show self-control,
if I want to have peace,
and tranquility,
and la, la, la, la, la.
We can have that.
Want to do this weekend like
The Departed?
No phones?
Kitchen looks good
without the mouse.
Smells nice, too.
Mmm.
So, what did Chef Dadardy
have in mind?
Well...
[upbeat vintage music]
Time. Timer, timer.
-I'm not--
-No, I think -- no, no, that's--
happy to cut two more slices,
we have...
Phones are away.
I don't have a phone.
Fluff the rice,
no more than what--
Mm, mm, mm, mm.
-I feel like it would be...
-Green, right?
-The grade maintained its color.
-Perfect.
Mmm. That is delicious.
Hm. Yeah, it's all right.
-Well, I like it.
-No, I like it, too.
Thanks for dinner, Chef.
Thank you for the support.
You, too.
I meant as a sous-chef.
You know, seriously, I, um...
I couldn't have
gotten through...
Mm-hmm, without you.
So...
I know.
Same, for the record.
Of course.
For the record.
-Hm?
-Yeah.
[high-pitched] Oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.
I was looking at the movies
that they have here.
[KJ] Mm-hmm.
A lot of, like,
school musical tapes.
-Wow.
-And, um, yeah,
family films
I've never heard of.
Any interest?
-Oh, tonight?
-Yeah.
Um, actually, I kind of, uh...
Actually, I had a story idea
I wanted to noodle on.
So maybe we just
do our own thing tonight.
And you could play guitar,
or whatever.
Oh, okay.
Are you sure?
Uh, yeah.
Okay.
Because I did see
this one movie.
It was a weird 90s musical.
Looked like it was
about the Holocaust.
And I don't want to say
the title,
but it rhymed with Newsies.
Oh, wow.
Okay, is this trying
to convince me?
Uh...
You know, I haven't written
anything that I like
in a long time. And I do
want to hang out with you.
I do.
We'll have tonight. Tomorrow.
Everything after, me and you.
Can I just
have tonight? Please?
Yeah. Totally.
-Of course.
-Okay. Thanks, dollface.
[eerie music]
[wind howling]
[Dan sighing]
[KJ sighing]
Are you coming to bed?
Write any good sentences?
Yeah, they--
they weren't my worst.
-Uh, good movie?
-Yeah. Passed the time.
Well, I'm going to go brush up,
but then I will join you?
Okay.
Yeah.
Hey, uh...
Can you leave
the shower light on?
Just, I don't want to break my
neck
if I get up in the middle
of the night.
Oh. Yeah, sure, yeah.
[distant insects chirping]
[whirring sound]
-Hey.
-Come here.
[KJ] Uh, do you want to
turn off the light?
Okay.
[Dan] Oh, uh, did you turn off
the shower light?
[KJ] Oh, sh*t, I forgot.
[Dan] It's, it's cool. Don't--
You don't have to get up.
-[KJ] Okay.
-[Dan] Hello.
[KJ chuckling] Hello, yourself.
-[KJ] Oh, ow, ah.
-[Dan] Ah, sorry.
-Um, hold on, one--
-[KJ] Yeah.
-Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
-[Dan] Okay, uh, sorry.
Um, here, uh,
why don't I just...
[KJ] Um, hold on,
if you just move ov...
-[Dan] Ow, ow, ow, ow.
-[KJ] Okay, okay.
Just give me a second.
[KJ sighing]
[Dan] Hey.
We can do this.
It's just like
f*cking a bicycle.
[both chuckling]
[Dan] Here, if I throw my leg
over like this...
Then it-- [exclaiming]
[birds chirping]
[KJ] Ahoy.
Good morning.
Morning.
-You still, uh...
-Still, yeah.
Do you need me
to do anything, or--
No, no, no, no.
I'm-- I'm okay.
-Thank you.
-Coffee?
Uh, that's...
I'm all right at the moment.
I'm just gonna...
Lay here. [sighing]
Welp, so much for hiking.
Mm.
I don't know.
I think I might still go.
I just figured I could hike,
if you were gonna...
Sit around, and--
and nap all day.
I didn't say
I was gonna nap all day.
But also,
what's wrong with napping?
Nothing.
Nothing is wrong with napping.
You do you.
It's just not really something
I've gotta be...
Present for. Yeah?
But also, we could
totally hang out,
if you're not one to rest.
No, no, no, no. You...
You came here to hike, and...
I do love to nap
all the time, so...
-I...
-I will nap,
and you can go hike.
I'm down to watch
one of those cool... VHS...
-Wacky movie things, you know?
-I'm sorry, what?
We can watch a movie.
Yeah. Uh, maybe later.
Maybe. Maybe not.
Maybe f*ck yourself.
[both chuckling]
You sure you don't want a cup?
Yeah, I'm all right, thank you.
Okay.
Um, I am...
gonna take my phone.
Just cause it has
my library app on it, so...
Do you want me
to bring you yours?
I'm all right, just...
leave it.
Okay.
[mug clinking]
[drawer closing]
Hey, could you, uh...
Would you mind
grabbing my guitar?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Ow.
[grunting]
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.
Hey.
Uh, can I...
[lightly strumming]
[sighing]
[birds squawking]
["Eternal Life"
by Shira Small]
Eternal life is
the intersection of
the line of time
and the plane of now
We live forever
Sun is the reflection
of a light within us
Life is God
we shine eternally
Eternal life
is the intersection of
the line of time
and the plane of now
Eternal life is the
intersection of
the line of time
and the plane...
Oh, sh*t.
[sighing]
We sometimes
confine ourselves
to one plane
of the universe
Ruled by human logic
We sometimes
confine ourselves
To one plane
of the universe
Ruled by human logic
We sometimes
confine ourselves
To one plane
of the universe
["Eternal Life"
by Shira Small playing]
In love we know
that we live forever
And shine eternally
Eternal life is
the intersection of
-[music stops]
-[stream flowing]
[sighs contentedly]
[car engine rumbling]
[sniffs]
[urine trickling]
[Dan] Hey, Jenn. It's Dan.
Um, I was just
calling because...
I wanted to say thank you again
for letting us stay here.
It's been amazing having
all this space and quiet
to ourselves, and...
man, these views.
Wow. It is gorgeous.
Wow. Good stuff, good stuff.
Anyway,
I was just calling because
I wanted to see if you
had any hot local recs.
I was thinking about trying
to go somewhere kind of nice
for dinner with KJ tonight,
so, um... yeah.
Give me a call
or a text or whatever.
Um, thanks. It's Dan. Did I say
that?
Yeah. It's Dan.
Okay, thanks, Jenn.
All right. Bye. Great cabin.
[cell phone ringing]
[clears throat]
Hey, Dan, what's up?
How you feeling?
[Dan on phone] Uh,
there's a girl on our porch.
-Excuse me?
-Uh, sorry,
there's a young woman
standing on our porch.
Just... standing here?
Well, I guess she's
also looking at her phone.
Okay. Uh, I'm leaving right now.
Lock the door, and please,
please don't talk to her.
Well, I kind of feel
like I have to.
No, Dan, you really
don't, okay?
You're injured.
-Not my vocal cords.
-Are you sure?
-Because I'm not that--
-Yeah, yeah. Bye.
[electronic voice on phone]
Forwarding to automated
voice message system. 804--
[phone line ringing]
Oh!
[Dan] Hello.
[woman] Howdy!
[Dan] Uh, can I help you?
[woman] Oh, no.
Just looking at the trees.
They're gorgeous.
Yeah, they are.
[Dan] Hey, speak of the devil.
[woman] Oh, gosh, I hope not.
[chuckles] Get behind me, Satan.
[both chuckling]
Hey, Dan.
What is up?
-Uh, KJ, this is our guest.
-Oh, my gosh, KJ?
Hey, what does that stand for?
And so great meeting you.
Dan has been telling me
so many nice things.
[forced chuckle] Thanks.
Um, it's nice to meet you too.
Eliza is our illustrious host
Jenn's sister.
-Which Jenn?
-[laughs] That's funny.
She's funny.
I know.
[KJ chuckles]
So, what's up?
I ran back here
as fast as I could
when you stopped responding.
Oh. Sorry.
Uh, we were talking and I just--
I didn't wanna be rude and, you
know, start texting on my phone.
Oh, my gosh.
This is all totally my fault.
I'm so sorry that I upset you.
Oh, no, no. No, it's fine.
I'm not upset.
Yeah, it's nice to meet you.
Um, it's just...
Uh, why are you here?
-Oh, that is a story.
-Yeah, so Jenn Ramsay, uh,
neglected to
tell her family that
any of us were
staying here, so...
-Oh.
-Eliza came up without
expecting to find people.
[chuckles]
I told you it was a real story!
I Airbnb'd my place in
Charlottesville for the month
and was stopping off here
for a little rest
before going on
a road trip with my bestie.
I only need to stay one night.
Two, tops. Promise.
Yeah, my Volvo
couldn't make it up,
so parked down at the bottom.
Got a little hype just
coming off the driveway.
-Oh!
-Yeah, yeah! [laughs]
And I hope I'm not
putting you out.
There's so much space.
Yeah. Yeah, of course
you can spend the night
at your family's house.
Really?
I said it, didn't I?
Yeah, it's absolutely
the least we can do.
Ah!
Well, this is gonna be great.
And I'm gonna make dinner
for all of us. My treat.
You two are very, very lucky.
I'm a fantastic chef.
I thought there'd be more plums.
Who buys plums?
[Eliza] William Carlos Williams?
Yeah, we're just
planning another meal.
Yeah, we just brought
stuff for breakfast.
We figured
we'd go shopping tomorrow.
Coast on frozen pizzas tonight?
[Eliza] Oh, nonsense.
There's this great
pizza place nearby.
Real New York original slices.
And in central Virginia, too.
Plus, on top of all that,
they deliver to
the top of this mountain,
which no one else
has the guts to.
Yeah, we-- we like frozen pizza.
Oh. No, I got this.
You know me.
Great ideas just
pop into my head.
-[Eliza humming]
-[footsteps departing]
I'm sorry-- sorry,
do we know her?
We don't even know if
she's related to a Jenn.
Oh, stop it. Don't be paranoid.
She seems really nice.
[scoffs] Oh, okay.
I'm gonna go read.
Okay. I will join you.
Hey.
-[KJ gasps]
-Uh, I just wanted to say
I ordered the pizzas.
They'll be here in two hours.
Thanks. How much did we owe you?
Oh, nonsense. My treat.
We got my favorite,
mushrooms and olives.
Okay. Thanks for that.
-Mm-hmm.
-Yeah.
Yeah,
ever since visiting New York,
I-- I can't have my pizza
any other way.
I guess old habits,
you know, die hard.
-Kind of like the movie.
-Mmm.
I said old habits--
-Yeah? Oh, you know.
-Yeah.
[Eliza] Hmm.
Oh, uh... hey.
Is that your guys' stuff
in the master bedroom?
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
There's no one else here,
-as far as we know.
-Yeah. Right.
It's just that whenever
people stay here,
my parents always prefer
if family stay in their bed.
It's not my thing.
It's just, you know,
they're real particular
about their stuff.
Would you mind if I just,
you know...
Yeah. Sure.
[Eliza] I'm sorry.
-It's okay.
-Thank you. Thank you.
It's your place.
Just move our stuff.
[Eliza] Gosh,
you guys are the best.
[snoring softly]
Oh, hey. I wanted to ask.
Whatever Happened To
Interracial Love? Any good?
Excuse me?
The Kathy Collins collection.
Yeah, you guys brought
some cool-looking books up.
My parents don't have
anything like that here.
You know, I love to read, but
it's so hard for me to focus.
So, yeah.
-Is Miss Collins any good?
-Yeah, she's fantastic.
Mmm. Well,
maybe I'll give a read.
You know,
people don't talk about it much,
but the Scottish face
lots of discrimination, too.
[tense instrumental]
Okay, I think that's enough.
That's enough newspaper.
What's the worst that's gonna
happen, we start a fire?
Paper just makes more smoke.
-Okay, and that's--
-Did you open the chimney?
-What?
-[flue clanking]
Okay, okay.
Uh, maybe let's just...
ask Eliza to help us.
You know,
this is her family's place,
and I'm sure she knows
how to make a great fire.
I am perfectly fine
without her help.
What's up?
[sighs] Can't we all just,
like, do our own thing?
Why do we have to
spend time with her?
There's plenty of space.
Okay...
what's the matter with
spending one night with her?
I mean, yes, Eliza has
a lot of energy, but--
Yeah,
I don't feel good about her.
Wait, is she r*cist?
Okay, she probably
doesn't vote Republican,
but she probably
loved Green Book.
-[Dan scoffs]
-Yes!
Now, unless she starts
with conspiracies or any...
you know, I can deal. I just...
Well, I don't like
spending time with her.
I don't wanna
spend time with her.
Why do we have to
spend time with her?
[sighs] Man, it's always
something with you.
[door opens]
-Pizza's here!
-[Dan] Heck yeah!
All right.
Could we be nice, please?
Hey, aren't we
gonna fix the fire?
[Dan] Uh... just leave it.
[Eliza] Gosh!
I have not had a New York pizza
in-- in a New York minute!
[laughing]
[Dan] That was delicious.
Definitely way better
than frozen.
Thank you again for ordering.
Yeah, thanks again.
Forget about it.
Oh, no, KJ.
Was the pizza no good?
Yeah, it was-- it was fine.
It was good.
Thank you.
I just don't really like olives.
Oh, but they're so good.
"Olive" 'em.
-Ah!
-[laughing]
So...
now that we've all
had a bit to drink,
I was hoping to ask
a real personal question.
Okay, go ahead. sh**t.
Which one of you
little rascals brought...
this bad boy up?
Oh, yeah.
Sorry to be that guy
and bring a guitar.
[Eliza] Oh, stop that talk.
Everyone loves that guy.
He brings music and joy
wherever he goes.
Do you hear that?
Everybody loves me.
Are you trying to play?
[Eliza] Oh, I have
no idea how, but I can...
[off-key] sing!
We should totally jam tonight.
Gotta put my a cappella years
to use, right?
Yeah, totally.
Voices and instruments,
same as anything else.
I love that.
KJ, do you play any instruments?
Nope.
Just some piano
when I was eight,
but it didn't really stick.
[Dan] She has other interests.
Kam is an incredibly
talented writer.
No, I-- I work in advertising.
I'm not, like, a--
I'm not, like, a writer-writer.
I'm, just, um--
just some short stories
here and there on the side
that I haven't even really
tried to get published, so...
My goodness, that's right!
You are a very talented writer.
Oh, well,
you don't know that. [laughs]
[Eliza] No, no,
I read one of your stories.
-Oh, you did?
-[Eliza] Oh, yeah.
The one about the couple
that finds the mouse
stuck in the glue trap.
I don't think I know that one.
[Eliza] Oh, it was so, so good.
You read my notebook.
Yeah, I was just, like,
sitting down here, you know,
flipping through
some of your books,
but they weren't
really my thing.
And then I saw this cool-looking
notebook on the table,
and I was just so bored,
I couldn't help myself. Oh!
It was really, really good.
You know, and I read a lot.
I reread all
the Outlander books twice.
And on purpose, too. [laughs]
Plus, you know, I got
really into Octavia Butler.
Or maybe it was
Ursula K. Le Guin.
One of them. Anyway...
I would so tell you if
the writing wasn't good.
I'm honest like that.
And, hey, you know what?
I'm sorry about
touching your stuff.
You know,
I didn't even think about it.
I would never intentionally
invade someone's privacy--
I don't care about intent.
Just...
leave my stuff alone. Please.
Of course. I don't make
the same mistake twice.
We really appreciate it.
Privacy is very important.
So what happens in this story,
um, about the couple
and the... glue trap?
Oh, it's-- it's not, uh--
it's not finished yet.
It's just a rough sketch.
It's really bare bones, so.
Oh, no, no, no. No way.
She is being modest.
It was so, so good!
It was so good.
Way more than just bones.
Definitely some
small intestines in there, too.
-[laughs]
-Wow.
Sounds like you really liked it.
So...
can you tell me
how the rest of it goes?
I mean,
I feel like if I ask her,
she's just gonna
undersell the whole thing.
Okay, so, it's about
this couple, Kat and Dean,
that go away for a long weekend.
You know,
their relationship's not great.
They're not really getting along
or having much sex.
You can't really
tell what's going on.
Someone cheated
on someone, or...
It's all pretty subtle.
Very European.
Anyway, you know, they're really
both trying to make it work.
And so they go away to this
friend's beach house, and...
Oh. It's beautiful, right?
All isolated. They can hear
the surf on the sand, and...
Gosh. You really know
how to set a scene.
Thank you.
So, okay,
it's-- it's all perfect.
Until... [gasps]
Uh-oh!
They find a glue trap
with a mouse in it.
And get this.
The mouse is still alive.
Oh, man.
I hate when that happens.
Right? [scoffs]
Now that's what I call
a sticky situation.
[sighs] So, of course,
the couple starts to argue.
You know? "What do we do?
Do we let the mouse
die in the trash can?
Or, do we k*ll it and end
the poor thing's suffering?
And-- Oh, my. It's just--
You really feel
for everyone involved.
You know, they both
make really good points.
But that's not all, folks.
Oh, we love a twist.
Okay. [exhales]
The more that the couple argues
about the mouse,
the more you realize that
the mouse is just a metaphor
for how they feel
about their relationship.
I know, I know.
I'm spilling this all like--
like, blah, blah, blah,
but trust me,
when you read the story...
it is all so nuanced.
Yeah, sounds like it.
So, uh, how do they feel,
Cat and Dean, about the...
everything?
Well, Dean wants to give the
mouse some snacks, you know?
Give it a good last meal.
And Cat...
Cat wants to bash its mousy
brains in with a shovel.
They can both maybe kind of tell
that they're sort of
at the end of things.
Oh, gosh.
I-- I loved it so much.
You really, really
understand people's feelings.
So how does the...
story end?
What do they do about the, uh...
-mouse?
-Well, like I said,
it's just a completely--
It's a rough vomit draft,
and-- and when I revise it,
I'm-- I'm definitely going to
throw most of it out anyway,
definitely changing
everyone's name.
No. No, no, no.
Don't you dare. It's fantastic.
I mean, it just needs a polish.
Maybe some flashbacks
to flesh out their backstory.
That's it.
Okay, so, hours have gone by.
The couple has had
this long, drawn-out,
no-holds-barred argument
about what to do
both with the mouse as mouse
and the mouse as metaphor
for their relationship.
Finally, Cat is so sick
and tired of... everything
that she just up
and leaves the beach house.
Just walks straight out
into the sand,
all barefoot and into the ocean,
and she never comes back out.
So long and thanks for
all the fish. [chuckles]
Dean watches all this happen,
too stunned to stop her
or to do much of anything,
and when it's all over,
when he's pretty sure
that she's not coming back
out of the water,
he gets up,
goes over to the glue trap,
picks it up to throw it away...
only he gets stuck
to the glue trap, too.
Whomp-whomp!
[sighs] The end.
You know, it is so crazy, 'cause
we have glue traps here too.
No way.
Right?
I mean, what a coincidence.
[low, tense music]
[soft guitar strumming]
[strumming continues]
-Do you wanna talk?
-About what?
About my short story?
Sorry, I haven't read it.
I heard it was
really good, though.
Okay.
Uh, I apologize if what I wrote
was a little bit...
-inspired by our situation--
-Wait, that story was...
based on us? Cat and Dean
were inspired by you and I?
I had no idea, because
it was set at a beach house.
You know,
you're a really good writer.
Very subtle, very European.
Dan, it is a stupid story.
Come on.
And it was one that wasn't
even ready to be read, okay?
Or anything. Or finished.
-But somebody had to go--
-It's not about Eliza.
-Okay, fine.
-This is about you and me.
Okay. Okay.
I used this as a jumping-off
point, but that is it.
That is all.
It's not how I feel.
Then how do you feel?
[strumming continues]
[Dan exhales]
You know, for a writer,
you're really not very good
with your words.
Hey.
I just wanna go to sleep, Kam.
Can I go to sleep?
Can I live?
Yes, of course.
Tell me if you're sure.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Thank you.
[strumming continues, stops]
[Eliza] Hey!
Let me know if this is too loud.
[strumming resumes]
[wind whistling softly]
[grunts]
[tumultuous music building]
-Eliza?
-[knocking]
Can I please have my phone back?
-[knocking]
-I need my phone back, Eliza.
[Eliza mumbling]
Eliza.
[Eliza grunts, mutters]
-Hey, is everything okay?
-Give me my phone back, please.
Pardon?
Where is my phone?
-I don't have it--
-Eliza!
[Eliza] Um, can I--
can I help you look?
-Just give it back.
-[Eliza] But I don't have it.
Then where the f*ck is my phone?
[Dan] Okay, what is--
what is going on here?
No, this little
monster of chaos--
-KJ, KJ, KJ.
-She took my phone.
Okay, first she reads
my notebook, and then
she takes my phone, and now
she's speaking in tongues.
I'm really sorry,
I-- I talk in my sleep.
I'm really sorry,
but I didn't take your phone.
-Yes, you did.
-No, she didn't.
-Yes, she did!
-No, I did.
-I am so, so, so, so sorry. I--
-[Eliza] No, no, it's okay.
I really-- I really,
really am sorry about
touching your stuff earlier
and for talking in my sleep.
I know I can kind of ramble.
I-- I really hope
it wasn't too loud.
Oh, my gosh, I ruin everything.
I'm so--
[sighs] My nightlight looks
ridiculous. It's just...
Oh, no. No, that's nonsense.
It's-- I--
I think your nightlight looks...
very neat.
Thanks.
That's really kind of you.
I'm gonna go to bed. Unless
you guys need anything else?
No, we're good. Thank you.
Please, get-- get some rest.
[chuckles] Only if you do too.
-Good night, Eliza.
-Good night, Dan.
-Good night, KJ.
-Okay, good night.
Okay.
Why did you take my phone?
Huh? What?
What, were you going through
my-- my texts, huh?
-Looking at my notes? What?
-No, no, of course not.
-I just...
-What?
I hid it because
I was mad at you.
Wow. Well, that's great.
I'm really, really glad
that we could talk
about this like adults.
[Dan scoffs]
Uh... good night, KJ.
[birds chirping faintly]
[Eliza] Oh! Good morning!
[Dan] Morning.
Ah, what's all this, then?
Oh,
I thought I'd make breakfast.
Are you hungry?
-Really?
-Of course.
Gotta be a good host, right?
Thank you. That's, um...
Are you okay?
[Eliza] Of course.
Why wouldn't I be?
[Dan] Well, last night was...
[Eliza] Oh, I slept like a lamb.
You're such a sweetheart
for asking.
[chuckles]
Okay.
Okay. Um...
What can I do to help?
Well...
I scrounged around.
What do you know about
making pancakes from scratch?
Absolutely nothing. [chuckles]
But, you know,
I'm a very quick learner,
-and I'm a great listener.
-[Eliza] Perf!
Why don't you get the mixing
bowl and I'll get the eggs?
[Dan] On it.
-[eggs cracking]
-Oh! Jeez!
I'm a bit of a butterfingers.
And that goes double
at breakfast.
[Dan] Hey! No use crying
over spilt yolk.
Do we still have
enough for pancakes?
[Eliza] Yes.
Maybe you handle the egg stuff?
[Dan] I'm on it.
[birds chirping]
[distant water rushing]
[Eliza] Soup's on.
Just kidding.
I didn't make soup.
-Aw, nuts!
-[laughing]
I'm kidding.
This looks really good.
Thank you. You did too much.
Oh, haven't you noticed?
Too much is kind of my style.
[giggles]
Oh, hey. Do you wanna get KJ
while I get the drinks?
-Are you sure?
-Of course.
No fun sitting
alone in her room.
Yeah, I'll see if she's hungry.
[Eliza humming]
Hey, KJ?
Eliza made breakfast for us.
-Morning.
-Morning.
You don't have to do
this if you don't want to.
No, no, I-- I want to.
[humming continues]
Once I [indistinct] to shop at
Gap Kids ever, ever again,
the manager agreed
not to call the cops.
[Eliza, Dan laughing]
[Eliza sighing]
What a crazy third year.
Thank you again for breakfast.
This was delicious.
Was that fresh-squeezed
orange juice?
-Tropicana.
-Same to me.
Oh, and, um, KJ,
did you enjoy breakfast?
I made sure no olives,
just how you like it.
Yeah, yeah, I noticed.
Thank you.
Um... [clears throat]
Jesus.
Uh, I-- I have trouble
saying sorry,
and I wanted to
apologize, so I--
I wrote all my thoughts down in
a note to organize them better.
Uh, Eliza, I want to apologize
for yelling at you
in the middle of the night,
for waking you up,
and for accusing you of
one thing you didn't do.
-Oh, it's okay--
-Can I finish?
Sorry, I just,
I kind of wrote a lot,
and I just
want to get it all out.
-Please?
-Of course. Go ahead.
Okay.
I know sometimes I can...
I need my alone time,
and I am not the best at
asking for it,
so I appreciate that no matter
what, you keep trying
to keep the mood light,
to keep us on track,
and to make things good.
Nobody sees me like you do,
and I'm sorry if it seems like
I don't meet you halfway,
but I am trying, I really am,
because you really,
really deserve it.
[Eliza] Oh, my gosh, KJ,
that was so kind of you,
especially since
we only just met.
I meant every word.
[Eliza] Oh.
Well, apology accepted.
Obviously.
I'm just, uh, gonna
go put this away now.
Wow.
I just want to say
how humbled I am to have
met someone
as talented as yourself.
I mean, that apology
was so beautifully written.
Almost as good as
that Glue Trap story.
Remember?
The one with the mouse?
Yes, yeah, I remember.
So, in return, you have
to let me do cleanup duty.
-[thudding]
-My house, my rules.
Enjoy the rest of your drinks.
Okay, thank you.
[Eliza humming]
[dishes clanking]
[gentle piano music]
-[pot clanking loudly
-[Eliza] Sorry!
Geez, I'm such a butterfingers.
And, um, hey,
while we're having this
little wrap sesh,
I also wanted to apologize.
I know you two weren't planning
on having a third wheel up here.
Are you kidding? It was, uh...
just a blast having you up here.
-Right, KJ?
-Right.
No, no, I get it.
Really, it's okay.
I'm sorry for
bumping into your trip.
I really, truly didn't think
anyone was going to be up here.
You haven't--
You did nothing wrong.
No, yeah, it's your house.
I know, I know.
It's just that there
was this whole plan that went
upside down,
and now you guys have
to be a part of it,
and it's just...
-Plan?
-Yeah, I-- I mean,
I went to the Jenns' apartment
the other night,
and I was going to surprise
Sissy with this big cabin trip.
She told me that her friend Dan
was going to be using the cabin.
Apparently, his relationship
really needs it.
You know, I told
her that it was totally fine.
The more, the merrier.
We could all hang out
and have a blast together.
She told me that was
incredibly rude and intrusive.
She said that we could
find another time,
not that she offered
any alts, and, you know,
I told her it had to
be this weekend or else...
[music turns tense]
And then she said some
really cruel things to me,
criticizing my life,
calling me selfish.
I mean, me, of all people.
I will not
be spoken to like that.
[sighing]
So, without Jenn or Jenn,
I had to improvise, and, ooh,
good thing I auditioned for
the college improv troupe each
year, because, boy,
did I need the experience.
Ha!
You know, you guys
have been really, really nice.
Especially you, Dan.
That's why it's so crummy
I don't have any other choice.
No choice about what?
About needing a human sacrifice.
I know, I know, right? It sucks.
I would so m*rder a dog
again instead of one of you two.
I love you guys.
Goddammit, Dan, I told
you this was going to happen.
-No, you didn't.
-I told you that she was off.
-I-- I told you that...
-No, no,
-you complained about her.
-...something was wrong.
You complained about everyone.
This is not anything like that.
This is just a bit, right?
This is another one of
those stupid Eliza bits.
[Eliza] Just relax.
Everything's going to be fine.
You'll pass out in
a minute or two.
It was in the glassware.
Except mine, obviously.
[laughing]
You sure were thirsty.
-[Dan] Kim?
-We're leaving.
Okay, get help. You--
Dan? Dan!
Dan!
Dan, wake up.
He's not going to wake up,
silly.
[KJ] No--
[Eliza] Sorry!
This time I really
did take your phones.
They weren't waterproof,
were they?
Stop running around, you're
only going to hurt yourself!
[panting]
[KJ] Come on.
Hey... I get it.
You gotta do you.
You gotta
find your corner of the sky.
[Ptolemy] Oh my God.
-Is she still going?
-I know, right?
Girl's got crazy endurance.
[eerie, tense music]
[eagle cry]
[car door closes]
-[KJ moaning]
-[Dan] Hey, sleepyhead.
[moaning]
Hey, yourself.
[yawning]
Are we close yet?
I'd say about 20 minutes.
Thought I'd pull
over to look at the view.
Oh, it's pretty, pretty.
[Dan] Yeah.
-Thank God you weren't driving.
-Oh, I completely agree.
Yeah, it's really
great for everyone involved.
Yeah. You, me,
people on the parkway.
Everyone's a winner.
-[chuckling]
-We should get trophies made.
Saying what?
-On the trophies?
-Yeah.
Uh, how about, um...
-How about "Go Us"?
-"Go Us."
I don't hate it.
-Wow.
-I know, right?
[KJ chuckling]
So how are you feeling?
The setting's all right?
Yeah, I feel great,
dollface.
Do you want some music?
["L'amour est un oiseau
rebelle" by Georges Bizet]
[Eliza distant humming]
-What's going on?
-Hmm?
[fire crackling]
[Eliza humming]
[groaning]
[whispering] Dan.
Dan.
Dan, wake the f*ck up.
-[footsteps approaching]
-Wake up, wake up,
wake up, wake up.
Oh, good, you're up.
How we doing?
[KJ panting]
Oh, don't worry.
The candles are fake.
See?
Ptolemy, they're up.
Well, she is.
-Oh. You can stop crying.
-[KJ sobbing]
I used nylon ropes and zip ties,
and I topped it all
off with duct tape,
just to be safe.
[Ptolemy] Hey, what happened to
using the codenames Mungojerrie?
Oh, right. [chuckling]
I am such a Rumpleteazer.
But please,
KJ and I are old pals now.
Are those track pants?
[Ptolemy] Hey, not all of us can
squeeze into high school fits.
I'm so excited that you two
finally get to meet.
You are so going to get along.
You're both so sassy.
I asked you to please
stop calling me that.
[Eliza] Oh, right.
Um, you're both
mean in a funny way.
Is that better?
Okay, you can call me sassy.
Compromise, man.
-That's what it's all about.
-What the f*ck is going on?
Eliza and I are defining
the language of our friendship.
-Always a process.
-[KJ] Why are we tied up?
Oh, so you won't
fight back or run away. Duh.
I thought you said
she was smart.
[Eliza] So sassy.
By the way,
I heard you two laughing at me.
I was in character.
Rick, the local.
"Have a blessed day." I picked
that up at a gas station.
It was research,
you judgmental as*h*le.
Kim?
Dan, are you okay?
[Dan] What is that?
-Are those track pants?
-Oh, my gosh, I am so rude.
This is my best friend, Ptolemy.
[quirky, anxious music]
-[Dan] Okay.
-Nice to meet you, too, jerk.
Why is he here? What is--
[Eliza] Well, I told
you he's my best friend.
We do everything together.
We started a podcast
together, a newsletter.
A crowdfunding campaign.
Cannot forget
the crowdfunding campaign.
Helped two best
friends follow their dreams.
We were trying to raise money,
you know, so that we could
figure out what to do with
our lives, whatever that is.
All we asked was
a little help to get started.
A mere five grand.
We made 40 bucks
after six weeks.
Can you believe that?
Yeah.
[Ptolemy] Nobody believes in us.
Hey, hey.
We believe in us.
You will be found.
-[Ptolemy] You will be found?
-[KJ grunting]
Oh, no, no, no.
-[Dan, Kim grunting]
-So...
Gosh, this is big.
[Kim panting]
We decided
to do a little research.
If we couldn't find
anyone to believe in us,
well, we just have to find
something else to believe in.
[Ptolemy] The Gnomon society.
[Eliza] Hashtag:
The Great Awareness.
-Is that a meme?
-[Ptolemy] No, it's not.
The Gnomon codex contains
verifiable information
passed down through
centuries that, yes,
is not its current information.
It's an image
macro on social media.
Yeah, we looked it all up.
It's all about
the fight of good against evil.
Anyone who performs
a ritual sacrifice to
the antediluvian kings on
the night of the largest waning
moon will have his or
her greatest desire fulfilled.
And, hey...
-we're anyone.
-this a f*cking joke?
It is not a joke.
Do your own research.
I'm gifted and talented
and nothing like this woman.
-Yeah, no, f*ck, you're not.
-[KJ] Dan.
[Dan panting]
She's just like that.
We've got magic to do.
-Just for you.
-[Ptolemy chuckling]
No.
[Ptolemy, Eliza effort grunting]
[Dan, KJ panting]
There we go.
All better.
-Showtime!
-[Ptolemy laughing]
-Okay.
-[Ptolemy exhaling]
["Beautiful Dreamer"
by Stephen Foster playing]
[vocalizing]
[under breath] Oh, my God.
I do not feel good about this.
[vocalizing]
Beautiful dreamer
wake unto me
Starlight and dew...
Hey. You trust me?
[breathing heavily]
Absolutely.
If we shimmy
over to the fireplace,
we can bash our skulls in before
they sing "Camptown Races."
[panting]
[Eliza vocalizing]
I'm sorry about, um...
Beautiful dream...
Well, I don't think anyone
could have predicted this,
but this weekend was about us,
and I'm...
sorry I forgot that.
Yeah, me too, Dan.
Me too.
And I shouldn't have
gotten petty about your story.
No, it's...
-It's just how you feel.
-It's not.
It is not how I feel, really.
Okay? In fact, I worked
out a whole new ending.
So the whole setup
is basically the same.
A good couple in a bad
place takes a vacation to a--
to a beach house.
A nice beach house by the beach,
and-- and they find a mouse
just stuck on a glue trap
alive, and they argue
and argue and argue about
what to do with it,
but then the guy...
-Dan?
-Yeah. [chuckling]
He...
Well, he figures they should
look up if there are any
easy fixes to removing
glue from mice, and well,
it turns out that-- that orange
juice does just the thing.
And so they pour
some all over the trap,
and the mouse just slips off.
Good as new,
just a little shaken up.
So the couple,
they figure, hey, look,
we've got all this
space here at the...
at the beach house, you know?
And we just
take care of the little guy.
So they do, and that's...
that's how it ends.
It's just one big happy...
And you know, I'm gonna--
I'm gonna do some research.
You know, I'm not--
Probably not orange juice.
That's just
first-draft nonsense talking.
Beautiful Dreamer
Awake unto me
[both sobbing]
Beautiful Dreamer
awake unto me
I love you.
I love you.
Hey, at least the fire's
pretty neat.
[eerie piano music]
I don't know,
it's a little warm.
[both chuckling]
It's always something with you--
-[slicing]
-[Dan gasping for air]
Uh, sorry.
There's just kind of
a timing to this whole thing,
Dan.
Dan. Dan, hey.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Look at me.
Hey, hey, hey.
Dan. Dan. Dan. Dan. Dan!
[indistinct chanting]
Why did you k*ll him?
-[Eliza squealing]
-[Ptolemy laughing]
-[both sighing]
-I can't believe our dreams
are finally going to come true.
Honey, everything's coming up--
Why did you k*ll him?
[Eliza] I just thought
you'd be more difficult.
Besides, we told you, remember
the crowdfunding campaign?
Help two best friends
follow their dreams?
Yeah, and we only
needed one of you, remember?
Gosh, Dan was right.
You really don't listen.
[distant owl coo]
[Ptolemy] You know,
I keep thinking we should
up the campaign to
more than 5,000 once we've
decided on doing all... this.
[Eliza] Oh, it wouldn't
have been decent.
-So, how are we doing?
-[Ptolemy] Nothing yet.
Are the [indistinct] supposed
to grant us like one lump sum?
Or am I going to see a series
of donations on here or what?
[Eliza] Well,
it's post-budget specific.
But I don't get it,
we did everything right.
On the night of the largest
waxing moon, perform a ritual--
[Ptolemy] That was
two nights ago.
[Eliza] What?
Waxing is before the full moon.
Waning is after.
Tonight's after.
Earlier you said waning, wh--
which does it say on your phone?
[wind gushing]
[Eliza] Waxing?
[Ptolemy] What the f*ck, Eliza!
[Eliza] I'm sorry, I messed up.
[Ptolemy] I trusted you.
[Eliza] Well, I said I'm sorry!
[Ptolemy] That's not enough!
[Eliza] Well, what do
you want from me?
[Ptolemy] I don't know.
Just something, I guess.
-[waves crashing]
-[seagulls squawking]
[Eliza] Aww.
It's cute. Come look.
[Ptolemy] I'm sorry
I yelled at you.
-I'm sorry I goofed.
-Hey, none of that.
Okay, we don't need to
beat ourselves up over this.
We're learning.
You know, grow as we go.
[Eliza] Aww. [chuckling]
Grow as we go,
I love that.
On the road in five?
[together] Thank you, five.
I'm just going to
put the fire out.
[tools clanking]
-It's fine. Leave it.
-Okay.
[tools clanking]
[footsteps leaving]
Hey, KJ.
Just wanted to say,
so great meeting you.
And that short
story was fantastic.
Definitely let me know if
you ever write a long one, okay?
Hey, I get it.
You're an introvert.
Bye!
[Ptolemy] exclaiming] I can't
believe we're finally going to
go on this freaking road trip.
[Eliza] I know, right?
Two best friends
hitting the road.
This is going to be
even better than Green Book.
[Ptolemy] You know,
I know the internet said we're
not supposed to like that movie,
but I kind of like that--
[door closes]
[fire crackling, popping]
[light coughing]
[gentle guitar music]
By the way
the night's still young
No such thing
as sleep in this town
If I turn you around
I'll fall down
And I'll have to start
all over again
Hi, Kim.
I thought I lost
you there for a moment.
Hey, there.
Hey, yourself.
So, are you just
going to hang out there on
the floor all alone, or...?
Zero percent chance.
[groaning]
[effort grunting]
Thanks for making the effort.
Of course.
Is that still my spot?
[fire alarm beeping]
[KJ coughing]
Hey, it's okay. It's okay.
It'll be okay.
By the way
the night's still young
[KJ breathing heavy]
Come on, sing with me.
By the way
the night's not so...
[chuckling]
Night's still young
-Night's still young
-Exactly.
[beeping continues]
One for the road?
By the way
the night's still young
[KJ sings faintly]
No such thing
as sleep in this town
If I turn around
I'll fall down
And I'll have to
start all over...
[fire alarm beeping]
[crackling begins to cease]
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