02x14 - Of Mice and Menace

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame, top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime? ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go--
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-No ifs ands or but buts ♪

- ♪ Bonkers
-Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay I gotta go go oh no ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back ♪
That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're--
-Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

[Flaps] This is it, boys! The Toon Museum,

home of the world's greatest collection
of toon memorabilia--

Steamboat Willie's steering wheel,

Lady and the tr*mp's spaghetti...
and Paydirt!

Dumbo's flag. Dumbo flew with this flag
at the end of the picture.

Collectors will pay a fortune for it.

Are we rich yet, Meany?

Not till we unload it, Dumbo!

I told you never to say that name.

We must remember Flaps' sensitivity

to the mere mention
of the flying pachyderm.

It's not my fault he can't fly
as good as Dumbo.

[alarm sounds]

Let's blow this joint.

[growling]

Phew!

Look! A getaway car.

Meany, Miney, Moe, lose the door.

[sirens]

Give it up. We know you're in there.
Come out, or we're coming in after ya!

Be out in a blast! [chuckles]

Eat peanuts, coppers!

He's firing peanuts, not even salted.

Step on it!

[Bonkers] Hey, Miranda, want to come in
and watch some of my old cartoons?

Seems I read somewhere cartoons will
rot your brain.

Hah! Too late.

Another time, Bonkers.
I gotta go home and feed Charlie.

My gosh, my dogs must be starving, too.
I better put that roast in the oven.

Bye.

I didn't know you had... dogs.

Fido, Spot, Rico, YoungBlood! Here, boys!

[whistles]

Aw, who am I kiddin'?

The only pets I have are
these dust bunnies.

B-b-b-b-brakes!

He meant brakes, Moe.

[announcement] Attention all units.
Pursuit in progress of toon elephant,

vicinity of Dementia garden apartments.

Dementia gardens? That's Bonkers' place.

[siren]

Attaboy, Boss. Don't give up!

I'm not. I'm givin' you up,

for adoption that is.

I'll be back as soon as I shake the cops.

Don't lose that flag!

Remember Boris?

[gulp]

The python back at the circus?

Double-cross me and I'll serve you
to him on a cr*cker.

Got it?

[beep]

The Coast Guard. Someone's at the door.

Who is it?

Pets! Awesome possum!

Boy, did you come to the right place.

My very own pets

to squeeze and cuddle
and do pet things with.

Wanna watch my cartoons?

[panting]

[siren]

Freeze, big guy!

[panting]

[panting]

Sorry, copper. There's more than one
flyin' elephant.

Har, har, hardy, har, har.

[can thuds]

[panting]

Boy, what they don't prepare you for,
at the academy.

[screaming]

I can't take much more of this.

Some shows were better than others.

Let's see. I never had pets before.

Oh, I know.

What say we ice this cat
and rent a real movie.

[Bonkers] Dinner!

Maybe I can teach you some tricks.

Can you sit up, Ralphie?

Hey, it works!

Now you Scruffy, roll over.

Okay. Now it's your turn, Dolly.

Nobody calls me Dolly and lives!

Can you play dead?

Wow. Pretty convincing.

Just for that,

here is my very last slIice of cheese.

[alarm rings]

Sorry, guys. Time for bed.

Now let's burn this dirty old blanket.

[screaming]

No, it would make a great handkerchief.

-Phew!
-Phew!

It's got my middle initial on it.

He's tossing our loot
in yesterday's laundry.

Calm yourself. The flag should
remain safe there.

[Bonkers] Hey, guys! Guess what I've got.

Sorry, Dolly. No more Mickeys,
but Minnie's even cuter.

That does it! I'm outta here!

[Miney] what about that
ravenous reptile Boris?

Trapped. Trapped like rats.

I guess it's either us or the cat.

Shut up! It's either us or the cat.

It's story time.

Hi. It's me. Open Mr. Door.

Oh, he's no Einstein, is he?

[pounding] Hi, Jitters. My new pets
just locked me out.

Can I use your phone?

If you promise not to break it.

Hello Zippy Lockbuster?

[crash]

I'll get it.

Your locks blown off. That'll be 19 bucks.

-Thanks.
-Wrong lock, but he's quick.

♪ Mice they smart but
The bobcat he smarter ♪

Suck gas, evil doer.

Yikes!

[laughing] Now that's funny.

[shouting]

[doorbell shorts out]

I got you an extra key from the manager.

Thanks for the thought.

Hey, now that you're here,
maybe you can help me train my pets.

I guess they are kinda cute.

Life hurts.

You don't know how good that felt.

Ey, guys, not so rough.
You could hurt somebody.

I don't want to have to take you
to obedience school.

This cat will be pushing up daisies
before I go back to the slammer.

Meany is correct.

Regrettably, we must declare
w*r on the feline.

Maybe warm milk will help you sleep.

Maybe a warm bowling ball
will help you sleep.

Watch me bowl a strike.

No sparing him.

Hope I've got enough mugs.

Ohhh... you're flat asleep.

A firm hand and a little love
that's all you guys need.

[Bonkers] Listen up, g*ng.

I'd like to proudly introduce
my new, my amazing,

my very own...

ta-da! Pets!

Thank you. No, don't get up.

Bonker's what do you know about
taking care of pets?

Me? Absolutely zilch.

But I'm learning. Here.

Take our picture.

Look, Sarge, I've got new pets.

My condolences to the rats.

Sarge is giving me the day off to take
them to the park. Aren't you, Sarge?

Forget it, Some nut stole Dumbo's flag
from the toon museum last night.

Poor Dumbo.

The chief's got my whole force
trying to find out.

I'm sticking you on mug shots.

Mugs are all on the new computer.

Break it, and it comes
out of your paycheck.

Hey, Flaps.

[Sarge] We're searching for
Flaps' accomplice.

Dennis couldn't even see the guy drivin'.

So make a list of short toons.

I'll find him, Sarge. Don't worry.

He's probably right under our noses.

You can play jail while I work, guys.

Stay away from that nasty elephant.

I don't want him to be a bad influence.

What are you doing here?

You deposited on the doorstep
of a law enforcement officer.

What are you gonna do next,
tuck us into an electric chair?

Shut up. You are here, ain't you?

Where's the flag?

We got it hid good.

Yeah. Real good.

Remember Boris?

Get me outta here or you're
snake snack on a cr*cker!

Um, one large peanut pizza
with extra files.

Boy, if it weren't for those peanuts, I'd
say you boys were helping someone escape.

[coughing]

[whistling]

Tryin' to escape, eh?

What's this?

Another pitiful escape attempt, eh?

Now where's this--

[shouting]

[Miranda] I don't think Flaps isn't going
anywhere now, Bonkers.

But I'd keep an eye on your pets.

They're acting kinda strange.

They're just worried about me
being in such a dangerous line of work.

Too bad that cat didn't buy the farm.

Disregard the feline.

We must release Flaps before
our true colors are revealed.

Why don't we just blow him out?

Where are we gonna get TNT
in the middle of a police station?

Sarge wants an evidence report from me,
have you got Flaps' TNT?

Sure. Be right up.

[telephone rings]

This is Sergeant Grating.

I want those evidence
reports on my desk now!

Right away, sir--

I mean, Sarge.

sh**t! We need a fuse.

Nah. Too tall.

Your fuse is provided.

So you haven't heard
anything on the street?

Okay. Thanks for flying in.

Don't worry now. We'll find your flag.

I can identify the elephant guy,
but I'm not sure I'd recognize the others.

Others?

Flaps had other accomplices?

Ya there were three of them. Real small.

Rodents, maybe.

Rodents? Do mean like mice?

Those are the guys.

Bonkers, your mice are Flaps' accomplices.

Come on, Miranda. That's impossible.

They're so cute.

All right, so where are they?

Where's your shirt?

Um...

I did it! I'm flyin'!

Nothing can stop us now!

Innocent, huh?

Boss, the Flag was right here
in the laundry.

Ack!

Remember what I said I'd do
if you ever double-crossed me?

We don't have the Flag, Boss!

Somebody must've took it.

Let's see, what does
Boris like under his mice?

No, boss, not the... cr*cker.

Saltines?

Grahams?

What's this?

A dry-cleaning ticket?

Perhaps the laundry was delivered
to the cleaners.

Ooh.

I'm gettin' that flag.

Save some cookies for the cops.

[clink]

[Miranda] Well, if the flag was in there,
it's not now.

Where did I go wrong?

Oh, how did I fail my pets?

Oh, Bonkers. Those mice were crooks
long before you hooked up with them.

It's not your fault.

It's not?

How could those little monsters
do this to me?

I trusted them!

[clears throat]

Squeak.

Don't play cutesy with me.

Where's the flag?

Flaps has it. You want him, free us.

Uh, I'm hungry.

Really? Did you have lunch?

How about a cr*cker?

No not the cr*cker.

We'll talk. We'll talk.

The Bonkers order...

where is it?

[Miranda] Surrender, Flaps!

Up with the white flag. Now.

[laughing]

So long, suckers.

Wait up, Flaps! We want our cut!

I got Flaps.

[laughing]

Stop in the name of the law.

Hey, Flaps, we want our share!

[bang]

Why, you... eat this, you rats.

Upsy-daisy--oof!

Hey!

And away we go!

Hey!

[screaming]

[rattle]

Whoa! Back up!

Let's see. If I were an elephant,
I'd be at the gym.

Here's where we got off, boys.

What's wrong, Dumbo?

Ya didn't want us to take the fall,
did ya?

I'll get you dirty rats for this!

[plop]

What--

I gotcha!

Yipe!

One of these days, I'll show you all.

You'll have to do it from behind bars.

Where are the mice?

Grab sky, coppers.

How can you do this, guys,

after I rescued you from that
shivering doorstep?

I don't think that's gonna work, Bonkers.

After I gave you a nice warm dry
place to sleep?

[crying]

After I let you lock me out of the house,

electrocute me, burn me to a crisp,

and blow up the police station?

That was kinda fun.

[crying]

[crying]

We must confess a certain degree
of owner/pet bonding with you as well!

[crying]

Duh.

You were the nicest stupid jerk
that ever took care of us.

[crying]

Giveme a break.

Even after I fed you
my last slice of cheese?

You... gave me cheese?

Well, you were asleep at the time.

Nobody ever gave me cheese.

[blowing nose]

[crying]

Morning, Miranda. Guess what?

Guess what? The judge said with good
behavior, Meany, Miney,and Moe

will be out in no time.

Guess you did a pretty good job
reforming those little hoods.

I mean, pets.

-What's that?
-My ant farm,

to keep me company while I'm waiting
for their parole.

What could be more innocent?

[alarm sounds]

[machine g*n fire]

[theme song playing]