01x32 - Get Wacky

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame
Top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go--
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah! Totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-No ifs, ands or but buts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay, I gotta go, go! Oh, no! ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back
That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're--
-Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

-[alarm blaring]
-[siren]

[laughing]

Hey! What are you looking at?

[spinning]

[whistles]

[tires squealing]

[Chief Kanifky] Wacky Weasel's escaped?

Oh, no! It can't be!

This is a disaster!

Remind me who this Weasel guy is again.

Come on, Chief!
Wake up and smell the coffee!

Wacky Weasel's the most dangerous toon
in the history of law enforcement.


[Roderick] Ha ha! Yeah.

He makes you cops look pretty silly.

I don't believe I caught your name?

Don't mind him, Kanifky.
That's my cousin, Roderick.

[Broderick] He scanned police calls
for Weasel, but he's gone straight now.

-Right?!
-That's right, Chiefster.

Straight as a string.

I can tell you every move
Wacky Weasel's gonna make,

but you'll never take him.

[static squelches]

He's never been out-tooned.

There won't be an egg
in the city safe from him.

Eggs? What's all this about eggs?

Eggs! Eggs! The rat's a weasel, isn't he?

That's what weasels do,
they steal eggs. Come on!

But... it's almost Easter.

I-I have to paint eggs
for my grandchildren to find.

Wait a minute! There's only
one way to handle this.

[phone rings]

Piquel here.

[indistinct chattering]

-Yes, Chief. Right away, sir.
-[indistinct chattering]

The Chief wants us in his office
right away. Let's go.

[Chief Kanifky] These are the times
that try men's shoes.

[Bonkers] I believe that's soul, sir.

What? Sole, shoes-- What's the difference?

None at all. Please go on, please.

I'll get right to the point.

-Bonkers...
-Yes, Chief!

We hired you because you're a toon.

Not because of my good looks
and sparkling personality?

Only a toon really knows another toon.

It takes a toon cop
to catch a toon criminal.

I get it! Some toon's gone bad.
Oh, the horror!

Well, bring' em on.
I'll have him behind bars in no time.

Let me at 'em!

Just what I wanted to hear.
Roderick, fill 'em in.

No problemo, Kanipster.

[squelches] Escaped from prison.

[squelches]

That's a funny name. Spell it for me.

Ahem. Sorry there.

Something went down the wrong frequency.

I said Wacky Weasel's
escaped from prison.

Wacky Weasel? Wacky Weasel!

Nobody can catch the Weasel!

He out-toons toons. He's never getting
caught in his own pictures,

is one of the reasons I had to get out
of the business!

He's just too awesome!

Yeah. Wack is the king of anvils,
all right.

[anvil clangs]

[Broderick] The colonel of cream pies!

[splat]

The master of mallets.

[mallet strikes]

-[squeaking]
-[accordion]

Okay, okay I get the idea!

Wait, wait, wait, wait a second.

If this clown is so uncatchable,

what was he doing in prison
in the first place?

It was a natural mistake
for the Weasel to make.

He heard about the joint
being full of bad eggs,

so he went to steal some.
Isn't that right, Roddy?

You got it. [laughing]
Bad eggs, that's a good one.

That's real good.

Oh, that's just what I wanted to hear.

We're wasting time, men.

It's almost Easter. Get out there
and nail that toon.

[bell dings]

[Bonkers] Oh where's the nearest deserted
island? I gotta get out of town!

Oh, why me? Why me?

I've been good haven't I, Lucky?
What did I do to deserve Wacky Weasel,

the most dangerous
toon criminal of all time?

Bonkers, Bonkers, you're a cop.
It's your job, it's your duty.

"Sworn to protect and serve" ring a bell?

Yeah. Protect and serve, remember?

I thought you were in the back seat.

Nah, I couldn't see anything
from back there.

Besides, the seat was cold.
It's nice and warm in here.

Hey, hey, hey, what is this,
the Oprah show?

Come on! We got a supermarket heist
in progress.

And it looks like Wacky Weasel,
so quit yappin'!

And put the pedal to the metal
and grind those gears! 10-4! 10-4!

I knew it. He's after eggs.

It's showtime!

[tires screeching]

[signal light dings]

[pop]

-[boing]
-[whirring]

[blows whistle]

I love this!

[laughing]

Ole! Oh, toro!

Ole!

[gasps]

[tires squealing]

Ole!

[laughing] Pretty good!

Oh, stop!

[laughing]

I don't think that was a traffic cop.

[siren wailing]

Bonkers, wait for me.

h* h* h*.

Better hurry. He's inside.

Thanks, Santa. h* h* h*.

[Bonkers crashing]

h*-h*-hold it a minute.

It's not Christmas.

[splat]

Hey, hey wait a minute.

-Every day should be Christmas.
-[machine g*n sound]

[splat]

[bang]

[wheels squeaking]

[boing]

[bang]

-[eek]
-[pop]

Need a hand?

I'd appreciate it.

[whirring]

-[whistle sound]
-[bang]

-[slicing]
-[sniffs]

ohh...

[sobbing]

Oh, I'm sorry.

No hard feelings?

Well...

Okay.

-[loud buzz]
-[screaming]

[laughing]

Could you die? [laughing]

[honk]

Lucky!

You sure are.

What took you so long?

We'd have been here sooner,
but slim here needs to lose some ballast.

[Weasel laughing] Here we go again!

Head's up! Look out! Red alert!

I mean you, Piquel and your
toon friend! Wake up!

[laughing]

Oh, stop!

[laughing]

Oh, stop!

[laughing]

Just wait till the Chief hears about this.

[yelling] What? How are we gonna
save the city's eggs

if our toon can't catch that bad toon?

There's only one thing to do.

And as soon as I think of it,
you'll do it.

You'll give us another chance?

[snap] That's it! I'll give you
another chance!

Thank you, Chief. Thank you, Chief.
Thank you! Thank You! Thank you!

I won't let you down again, I promise!
I promise! I promise!

That's enough, Bonkers.

The Chief's a busy man.
We've got a job to do. Come on.

What are you draggin' us to museums for?
We got to be out looking for that Weasel.

Check it out. The world's biggest
petrified dinosaur egg.

We don't have time for an omelet.

All right, Roderick, once and for all
what are we doing here?

Okay. Now what was Wacky doing
at the supermarket,

besides making you look silly, I mean?

Well... uh, he was stealing.
That's what he does.

What? Stealing what?

Eggs! Weasels steal eggs!
It's what they do!

They can't help themselves!

Oh. Wonder what his cholesterol count is.

[cart approaching]

[claps]

[loud thud]

[wheel squeaking]

Well that's pretty good thinking
now, Bonkers. Now all we gotta do is--

[laughing]

We've been duped!

Bonkers, will you wait for us?

No! This is my job!

[wheel squeaking]

[skidding]

-[slam]
-[bang]

[birds chirping]

[laughing] Oh, stop!

[panting] Whoa!

Looks like that Weasel's
scrambling your eggs, little buddy.

Uh, don't worry, Luckster.

I'm just getting him overconfident.

And I thought you were an optimist.

I hate it when they do this.

Oopsy.

[both screaming]

I got it! I got it! It's mine! It's mine!

[crash]

I told you I'd get it.

-[wheel squeaking]
-[clang]

[pop]

[accordion wheezing]

Polka, anyone?

[boing]

[whistling]

[humming]

Stop or I'll sh**t!

[whistling and humming]

He's not going anywhere
and you don't have a g*n.

There you go again
with the technicalities.

Wait a minute. Something's wrong here.

Why ain't you going anywhere?

Well... I want to give you a chance.

You want to give me a chance?

-Don't trust him, Bonko.
-Slap the cuffs on him, kid.

Relax, Bonkers, you're a cop, remember?
A professional.

But he can't talk to me that way!
I am a cop! And he's a bad guy!

You're under arrest.
"You have the right to remain silent."

But I don't want to remain silent.

You don't?

Nah. I want to say something.

He wants to say something.

Is that okay?

Well, I just wanted to say...

whatever you do, don't pull that lever.

Come on, Bonkers!
Cuff him and let's get out of here.

-[teeth chattering]
-I... can't!

[laughing]

Oh, stop!

-I can't... Oh you... I can't control--
-[laughing]

He's getting away. Let's go!

What's the matter with you?

Oh, you don't understand, Lucky,

I'm a toon. I've got to pull that lever!

No, you don't understand. You're a cop.

You've got to catch the bad guy.

You're right! I'm a cop.

-That's better. Now let's go.
-Look.

[clicks]

[whirring]

[boing]

[crash]

Nothing happened.

Can we get on with this, please?

I can't believe it. Nothing happened.

You can understand I had
to pull that lever, can't ya, Lucky?

And it's okay because... nothing...
happened.

[growling]

[screaming]

[growling]

[footsteps approaching]

This is what you call nothing?

[roaring]

[growling]

[snarling]

I went straight for this?

Scatter!

[growling]

Pretty impressive, huh?

Yikes!

[stomp]

[stomp]

[roaring]

[yelling] Arghhhh

Somebody needs a mint.

Aw, Bonkers, I thought you were a goner.

What did you do in there?

Strange place for a reset
button if you ask me.

Yeah, well, don't look a gift horse
in the mouth.

I'm not looking anything
in the mouth for a long time.

Well, he got away again.

Eh, well, next time we'll take him. Right?

[sad voice] Next... time?

Sure! He beat us twice.
Third time's a charm.

Oh! [plop]

Hey... what's going on?

Alright, you're a little down.

But you are the only one
with a chance to stop that Weasel.

I wish I could.

But he's beaten every toon
he's ever gone up against.

Oh, that's just a technicality.

Listen, Bonkers, he's a toon...
you're a toon.

Okay! Roderick, do you have any idea
where he'll pop up next?

W-W-Wait. Never mind, Rod.

I think I'm getting inspirated.

He's going to swipe the Faberge egg!

Now you're talking, partner.
Come on! Let's get over there.

Remember, you're the best toon
on the force.

I'm the only toon on the force.

That's another technicality.
Don't worry about it.

[clinking]

[slobbering]

It's foolproof, I tell you.

When Wacky lifts the egg off the stand,
you pull the rope and kaboom!

The box falls and we got him.

Weasel's been falling
for this trap for years.

[laughing] Oh, do.

I got to hand it to you.

I thought you gave up,
but here we are with a plan.

A toon plan, but a plan nonetheless.

Fool proof, I tell you.

[Bonkers] Quick, let's get out of sight.

[Lucky] There he is. Pull the rope.

He's all yours, kid.

What's the problem?

I knew it wouldn't work.

Would too!

Nope.

I'll prove it to you.

[raspberry]

[crash]

What a chump.

[laughing]

[gibberish]

[grunting] Got it!

Well, at least we got the egg.

That was just a warm up.

Next time I'm gonna [pop] pop the Weasel.

Better warm up for you freeze, pal.

Ha ha ha!

[laughing]

Well, just don't stand there.
Code three, officer!

Move it, move it, move it!

[Bonkers] Lost him!

That door!

Hmm. nothing here.

I don't mean inside the door.
I mean the door itself.

[raspberry]

Oh, that's it.

I'll do the honorable thing, Lucky.

I'll resign from the force. [crying]

You can't resign.

You're the one who is supposed to be able
to stop this reject from Toonville.

[whining] But he never even got caught
in his own cartoons.

Hubba bubba!

His own cartoon!

Galloping frequencies! You know something,
Roderick?

The sparkman's got a point there.

I got what?

This isn't his cartoon.
If it's anybody's cartoon, it's yours.

Excuse me... reality check.
I thought this was real life.

Only for you, Pickle, for you.
For us, it's a toon.

So, I just have to think of this
as my cartoon.

And may the best toon win.

I really hate those lightbulbs.

[laughing]

-Ha...
-[splat]

[hens clucking]

[bell rings]

All right, Wacky babe, and... action!

[hens clucking]

[hens cackling]

You're under arrest!

Well... if you say so.

Here... hold these.

-[loud slap]
-[laughing]

-[rumbling]
-Here we go!

[chuckling nervously]

[descending whistle sound]

[click]

Hiya, Wackster.

Welcome to my cartoon.

Hello.

-Goodbye!
-[wind]

[evil cackling]

[loud pop]

You're beginning to bother me.

I'd like to say...
you ain't seen nothin' yet,

but that would be improper grammar.

And I don't want to be a bad example
for the kids.

But I will say this...[gruffly] say
goodbye, Weasel.

By the way, whatever you do,
don't look down.

[nervous giggling]

How dumb does he think I am?

Well, then, on the other hand...
what if it's a trick

and he doesn't want me to look down?

But if, then again...

if it's a double trick
and I don't look down,

then he's got me.

[chuckling] Oh, please!

[stammering] Oh, I'm so afraid to look.

[stammering] Oh, what should I do?

No one out toons me.

See? I knew it! The day hasn't come
yet when... [gulp]

[screams]

Aah! Th-This is really getting
on my nerves.

What's the matter?
Afraid of a little splash?

-[snap]
-[screaming]

I did it! Home run! Touchdown! Bull's-eye!

It couldn't be done, but I did it!

Yee haw! [laughing]

Uh-oh!

Whew!

-[levers clicking]
-[pulley chain clinking]

Thanks, guys. Take five.

You know them?

Sure. I know lots of Hollywood agents,
you nut.

You did it, Bonkers! You did it!

Oh, I thought we were sunk.
Even you said Wacky couldn't be caught.

Yeah! That's never happened
in my cartoons.

That's because this is his cartoon.

[laughing]

Well, have I gone straight enough for you,
or are you going to chaperone me forever?

You've needed a chaperone ever
since you left the studio.

-Says who?
-Says me!

Who are you?

This is closing. You going to cartoon
around all day or are you coming with us?

Who does this feller think he is any who?

[Roderick] Will you please
turn down the volume?

[theme music playing]