01x35 - Miracle at the 34th Precinct

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime? ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go--
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah! Totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-No ifs ands or but buts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay I gotta go, go Oh, no ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back
That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're--
-Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

[bells ringing]

[elf 1] How do you make toys
at a time like this?

[elf 2] It's Christmas.

It's not gonna be Christmas
if Santa doesn't show up.

Relax, he's only been gone two hours
testing the sled.

Which reindeer did he
take on the flight anyway?

Blitzen.

Blitzen! It's stormy out.

Why didn't he take Rudolph?

[door slams]

[panting]

[both together] Vixen

It was terrible.
Lightning all over the place.


Geese headed for South America.

-What happened?
-Where's Santa?

This is all that's left of the new sled.

-Where's Santa?
-Where's Santa?

The sled banked left. He went right.

I think his chute opened, though.

Oh, no. Poor Santa.

We have to find him. He could be hurt.

It's only two days before Christmas.

Hey, Vixen, where did he bail out over?

Hollywood.

[male reporter] Good Morning, Hollywood.

History is being made today

in what is suddenly
not-so-sunny California.

Yes, the yuletide has brought snow
to our palm tree lanes.

And you can rest assured
we'll have a white Christmas this year.

[crash]

Hey!

[groans]

Where'd you come from?

Uh, I-- I don't...

know.

Ah, bah humbug!

h* h* h*!

[both laughing]

You think you have enough
Christmas decorations in the house, Dyl?

You know how I love Christmas.

Now come and have breakfast,
and don't be a Scrooge.

I bet you can't wait
for the real Santa to come.

-Psst! Daddy, come here.
-What is it?

Well, I wanted to tell--
there's something--

I don't know how to tell you this,
but I heard that--

well, I don't think Santa exists.

[coughs]

What did you say?

Well, I didn't. Susie at school did,
and she's right about everything.

She said Christmas gifts
aren't from Santa, they're from parents.

Oh, dear.

It's ridiculous.
Why, uh, Santa and Christmas

go together like bacon and eggs,
butter and toast, uh...

uh, chili and milk.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah... chili... right.

I know lots of people
who believe in Santa.

♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪

♪ And a happy new year ♪

[gulps]

Ah-choo!

Comin' down with a cold, Lucky?

Stop bein' sick.

You don't want to be sick for Christmas.

Bonkers, do you believe in Santa?

The Claus Meister? Sure!

Santa's great. He's a pal.

We've even gone ice fishin' together.

See?

Susie at school said
there's no Santa claus.

I bet Susie never caught
rainbow trout with him either.

Oh, that's convincing.

Come on, jingle bells,
we have to go to the office.

Mom, I'm waiting up for Santa this year.

[Santa] Uh, this is a very nice place.

I call this place home, right, boys?

-Right, Fall-Apart!
-Right, Fall-Apart!

Oh, my!

Aw, don't worry. They're harmless,
unless, you sit on them.

Watch, okay?

Aah!

[crash]

You see? They're harmless.

Hey, you! Wanna sit down?

Not now boys,
let's see what our new friend wants to do.

Okay now, what was your name?

I-- I don't know.

You landed on the old squash.
I do it all the time.

I will call you Jim.

[gulps]

My name's Fall-Apart, Jim,
and we're going to go to the beach.

But-- but it's snowing.

Okay, we'll pass on the bathing
suits then.

Come on.

Here you go.

Where to, Mac?

Uh, uh, I'll...

Ah, new in town, huh?

Here to see the sights?
You've come to the right rabbit.

Let's see now, "Famous Hollywood Sights".

[honks]

[tires screeching]

Oh, there we are.

[tires screech]

[crash]

Jim! Oh, there you are.

Come on, we'll be late for the beach.

[Bonkers] Little innocent Marilyn
has doubts about Santa?

Maybe you're not roastin'
enough chestnuts on an open fire.

[secretary] The chief wants to see
you two right away!

-You wanted to see us?
-Yes.

I have a new assignment for you two,
a missing persons case.

[elf 1] It's Santa claus!

He's the missing person.

Is this for real?

I assure you, it is.

What do we look like, asparagus tips?

It's on the up and up.

Hmm. I see a pattern.

Little Marilyn Piquel
suspects there is no Santa.

Two elves, who do not
look like asparagus tips,

report Santa is missing.

It's so ergo facto.

Santa's sled has crashed
somewhere in our city.

It is up to us to find him.

You're perfect!

Gosh, it was nothing really.

You'll do just fine.

Ever ride a sled before?

Excuse me--

Inseam 32. 17. Neck width? 4-- waistline?

That's personal.

Will you stop doing
whatever it is you're doing?

You're perfect.

For what?

The red suit.

Wow, Lucky, what an honor!

Time out! What is everybody talkin' about?

You can fill in for Santa Claus.

Oh, no, no, no.

We'd rather find Santa, but we can't let
the world miss Christmas, too.

You guys been up
in the North Pole little too long.

Why, Piquel, it's a wonderful plan.

You'd make a great Santa.

Uh, Sir, I'm allergic
to Christmas trees, okay?

Not to worry. We'll help you.

Just think, Lucky, you can make
millions of kids happy.

Stop it! I am not a jolly person.

What's that?

A little Christmas magic.

There are no presents.

There won't be Christmas this year.

There is no Santa Claus!

[sobbing]

My poor little girl.

Lucky? Lucky, what is it?

Bonkers...

[Bonkers] Yeah, Boss?

I'm gonna do it.

I'll save little Marilyn's Christmas
and fill in for Santa.

[crash]

Okay, try it again.

Ahem.

h* h*... h*.

That was great.

You just bored half a trillion children.

Ease up. He'll get it.

Yeah, but how about before groundhog day?

That's it! I don't have to take this.

Alright, I'll give you a break on
the h*-h*-h*s.

Let's sit in the flight simulator.

[screaming]

Isn't this great, Jim?

Why are we doing this?

Because it's snowing.
Aren't you supposed to ski in the snow?

Oh.

Wait a second! This is nuts.

Doesn't Santa fly first class?

This is first class.

Don't I get an in-flight movie?

Now that you mention it,
this is little Jimmy Malone.

He's six. He wants a Mutant Kempo Karate
Iguana for Christmas.

You're not serious.

You expect me to remember
every little kid gettin' Christmas gifts?

Santa does.

But there must be thousands.

Try 858... million.

Hang on! We're going back!

[bell ringing]

Help!

Help!

Okay, let's pull you in!

Hey, Jim!

Where'd he go?

Hey, Fall-Apart.

-You startled me.
-Sorry.

Okay, I needed that.

Ooh, nice boat.

We went skiing.

In the snow? For why?

Why does everybody keep asking me that?

[Bonkers] Listen, I'm on a big case.

I'm looking for Santa Claus
on account of because he's missing.

Have you seen him?

Come to think of it--

-Yes?
-No.

If you see him, call me at the station,
will you?

Okay.

Jim!

Tell me we're done for the day, please.

All right. No more skiing.

You need a good old-fashioned picnic.

But it's snowing.

What better way to keep warm
than an old-fashioned weenie roast?

There. That should do it.

You built a house?

I would've preferred a colonial
to a ranch style,

but I only had 20 minutes.

I didn't know anybody
could be bigger than Santa.

Watch it.

Sorry. Aah!

Ow!

You're ready.

Up you go.

In my city, you'd get a ticket
for what we're about to do.

Look, we're Santa's elves.
We're professionals.

That's right. We have a license.

[Lucky] I, uh, I think you made a mistake.

You made this a skosh too small.

I didn't. It's designed
to standard industry specs.

Time for shimmying
down the chimney 101, student.

Merry Christmas.

[knock on door]

Hey!

Got any cocoa?

Oh, I'll get you some.
Wait here, you poor dear.

Bonkers, do you have any word from Lucky?

Um, he's still on a big case.

I hope he makes it in time
for Christmas eve tonight.

Maybe he'll wait up with me.

Sweetheart, you're not supposed
to wait up for Santa.

I have to prove Susie at school, wrong.

I'm going to take his picture.

Bonkers!

Yes?

[sniffing]

-[coughing]
-[siren]

Good thing it snowed again today.

Your cocoa?

No, thanks, Mrs. P. I'm warm enough now.

Besides, I have to get back
and find Santa before midnight tonight.

Good luck, Bonkers.

[elf 1] Figures he'd get stuck in there.

[ringing]

at our first house in one hour!

Keep pulling!

[grunting]

Hey! Take it easy up there!

You're putting stretch marks
on my stretch marks!

[screaming]

[crash]

Yep, I think Christmas
is a goner this year.

Officer, are you all right?

h*! h*! h*!

Hey, that's not bad.

What got into you?

Well, there's nothing like coming
down a dark chimney

and seeing your life
flash before your eyes

to give you the old Christmas cheer.

He's sick.

Sick or not we have to go.
We're out of time.

But he can't even get down a fake chimney.

Hey, hey.

I'm standing here, aren't I?

Who else will you get?

Got a point.

Well, where do we start?

Well, Jim, we almost had a good picnic,

except you gave away all our food
to the people on the beach.

I don't know why I did that.

It was like you were handing out gifts.

Oh, well. Time to rest the feet.

Well, take a load off. Sit.

Whoa!

What'd you do that for?

Uh, because it was funny?

-[doorbell rings]
-I'll be right there.

Hang on, Jim!
I'll get you down in a minute!

Hi. Can I come in? Don't mind if I do.

-I won't.
-It's terrible, Fall-Apart.

I can't find a clue to where Santa went.

-That's bad?
-You bet!

Without him, Christmas is gone this year.

I've gone ballistic here.

Did you say ballistic?

Don't even think about it.

If only someone had seen him.

I wish I could help out, Bonkers,

but right now,
I have to help my new friend, Jim.

-Jim.
-Yeah, dropped in on me yesterday.

Big guy. White hair, white beard.
Red suit. Ooh, terrible skier.

That's nice.

I have to get him off the roof now.

Okay, do your thing!

A red suit, beard, Jim, on the roof?

You want to follow him?

Jim! Yoo-hoo! Jimbo!

Oh, Jim!

Jim, are you okay, Jim?

Jim, you're upside-down.

Oh, thank goodness.

For a moment,
I thought you had talking feet.

He does.

Santa! Are you all right?

I've been looking all over for you.

Santa? Jim? You're Santa Jim?

How did I get here?

Well, I have this sofa.

I can explain everything, Jim-- uh, Sir.

We have to go. It's Christmas eve.

Oh, my! I'm late!

My Elves! Jingles! Bell!

Don't worry, Sir.
I'll call them on the police radio.

But where are we going, Son?

We're going to start by making
a little girl believe in Santa again.

[sleigh bells ring]

I think I've seen this roof before.

You should have. It's yours.

We figured we'd get your feet wet
on familiar territory.

Don't you guys trust me?

To answer your question, no.

[grunting]

Oh, it's going to be a long night.

[ringing]

I thought we had an unlisted sled phone.

Hello.

Yes!

Okay, here are the gifts.

Whoa!

[barking]

Hello?

Okay, yep.

That was the toon cop! He found Santa!

What?

Yeah! They're on their way!

Seems Santa had amnesia, but he's okay!

He's just got a headache now!

Where's the cop?

What's wrong with you, Lucky?

This isn't a way for Santa
to make an entrance.

Beard straight? Check.

Stomach out? Check.

Holiday spirit?

h* h* h*! Check!

I'm going in. Well, it is my house.

We're here!

You remember everything we talked about?

Her name is Marilyn. She's 10.

Susie at school told her I wasn't real,
and she's confused.

Hey, you're good.

Now to drop in on her.

Oh, nuts.

I probably heard a cat.
Santa's not coming.

Oh...

[elf 1] Oh, you better hurry, Sir.

That cop Pickle may already be inside.

You mean Lucky went down the chimney?

Found an alternate route.

That's my partner.

Wow! If I tried that, I'd make so much
noise I'd wake up Ohio.

[sniffling] Susie was right.

I have to let her see me.

Who are you?

Santa Claus.

Uh-uh. I'm Santa Claus.

I have the social security
number to prove it.

Oh, yeah?

I'm not exactly taking the garbage out.

I have the waist size to prove it.

-So do I.
-So do I.

-That's a pillow.
-Is not!

I have consumed a lot
of cholesterol to get this!

Hold it!

We could hear you on the roof!

Glad you're here. Arrest this impostor.

I think somebody else got hit on the head.

h* h* h*!

Santa?

Is that really you?

-Yes!
-Yes!

[both] Merry Christmas, sweetheart.

Two Santas?

[Bonkers] But of course.

Just like actors have stand-ins,

so does Santa, you know,
in case he gets a cold.

Ah-choo!

See?

But who's the real one?

-I am!
-I am!

Do you mind?

What did you want for Christmas?

Just to know if you were real.

And a portable CD player
wouldn't hurt either.

Way cool!

I didn't even tell Dad that.

I know what you wanted for Christmas,

-Lucky Piquel.
-Daddy?

But-- but I'm, uh, Santa.

Hey, you said my name right.

Merry Christmas.

My old ones were getting old.

Merry Christmas to all!

h* h* h* h*!

h* h* h* h*!

[in unison] Merry Christmas!

I wish, I could do that.

[yawning]

What's going on down here?

It's a present from Santa.

From the real Santa.

Thanks, Daddy.

What little kid gets
to meet two Santas on Christmas, huh?

And you know, Daddy,
I think I love this one the best.

[sniffing]

Don't you just love Christmas?

Whoa! Ooh-hoo!

I love it!

[Santa] Merry Christmas!

h* h* h* h*! h* h* h* h*!