02x26 - Fountain of Youth/Walk a Mile in My Tracks

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[barking]

[engine revs]

♪ I'm seeing lots of spots ♪

♪ Plenty of polka dots ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ Can't catch a furry flurry ♪

♪ Running in a blurry hurry ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Canines on the run ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Them doggone dogs are fun ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Without fail you'll wind up
Chasing your tail ♪

♪ What's the harm
In revelrous adventures ♪

- ♪ On the funny farm? ♪
-[clucks]

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

[barks]

♪ Life's just a bed of roses ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Fast friends with cold, wet noses ♪

- ♪ 1-0-1 ♪
- ♪ Through thick, thin, push and pull ♪

♪ It's 1-0-1, oh wonderful! ♪

♪ Just tons of fun ♪

♪ 101 Dalmatians! ♪

♪ Oh, happy birthday, Cruella ♪

♪ Oh, happy birthday, Cruella ♪

♪ You may be getting older ♪

♪ But you're only getting betta' ♪

♪ Cruella ♪

-Yeah!
-[clashing]

-[Cruella growls]
-[door slams]

Oh, I hate birthdays!

-[doorbell rings]
-Hmm? Hm-hmm.

Pardon me, ma'am. You called us
about a leaky faucet.

We'll have it fixed in a jiffy.

[nose squeaks, honks]

[humming]

[glass breaks]

[groaning]

[mournful sigh]
If only there was a quick fix

for my fading bloom of youth.

Why should I of all people
have to age? Ow.

Hm-hmm? [chuckles]

There must be a way!

[air hisses]

[machine whirs]

Ooh, ooh! Ah! Oh!

[Cruella] My eyelash!

-[eyelash pops]
-[Cruella growls]

[grunts] Why do they call it
Super-Duper Glue anyway?

Is there nothing that can
make me young again?

[huffs]

Oh no. No, no, no!

[chuckles] Nanny, please.
It's just a little leak.

I'll have it fixed
lickety-- whoa -- split.

[chuckles]

[cringes, groans]

[Nanny groans]

[whistling]

Oh no! Roger's gonna fix something!

I hate to send out negative energy,
but we're doomed!

[all] Take cover!

[screaming]

[crunching]

Hey, where did everybody go?

[whistling]

[grunts with effort]

[sighs]

There, done.

See, I told you we didn't need
to call a plumber.

Whoa!

[screaming]

[yelps]

-[screams]
-What was that?

Dogs go in
and come out as puppies?

[clucking]

Why, that water
is making them young.

[Cruella gasps]

[Cruella] Chickens go in
and eggs come out.

It's the fountain of youth!

[gleeful cackles]

I wonder if it works on humans.

[grunts]

[knocking]

Anita, darling,
get me a glass of water at once!

You came all the way over here
for a glass of water?

And your sparkling company.

Make it a large glass!
Would you?

Don't you have water
at your house?

Of course I have water at home,

but you see,
the water I have at home

is undrinkable
in that it is too, uh...

wet.

Yes, that's right.

And my doctor absolutely
forbids me to drink it.

It's known to cause a condition
called, uh, H-2-0-itis.

Yes, but in the meantime,

I simply must
have a glass of water!

[chuckling]

Memo to myself: come up
with better preposterous lies.

Mineral water?

[stutters]
Is there something wrong?

Oh, I'm, uh,
allergic to mineral water,

too many, uh, minerals.

Don't you have any tap water?

It might be a tad rusty.

Roger's been
working on the pipes.

[Cruella] Oh, that's fine, really.

I'll just think of it as gravy.

[gulps, hacks, spits]

Mhmm, delicious.

How could that be?

-[heaving]
-Well...

-it's water from our own well.
-[gulping]

General Smedley put it in years ago
with a water tower...

so the crops would never go dry.

-Uh.
-Water tower, eh?

-[water running]
-[Cruella gulping]

Scram! I need this
more than you do.

[slurps]

Finally.

Refreshing.

Well, I'm sure
you'd like me to stay longer,

but I really must be on my way.

I'll just take one more
for the road. Ta-ta.

-[wrench squeaks]
-[Jasper grunts]

Try it now, Horace!

[Jasper] Horace!

Jasper, do you think
I need a face lift?

You need a brain lift.

Get in here. Horace!
You get in here!

-[thumping]
-[Jasper] Hey, I'm talking to you!

Get in here and help me!

You're not getting into
Ms. de Vil's makeup, are you?

Horace!

[wolf whistle]

-[device beeps]
-Memo to myself:

I'm young again!

[laughing]

Oh, it's too good to be true,
but the mirror doesn't lie.

[chuckles] I'm a vision of loveliness.

Oh, Scorch, darling,

don't be afraid. It really is me.

Oh, that water made me young,

and that water
is going to make me rich!

I'll bottle it, over-price it,
and rake in millions!

I'll call it, "Cruella-grino."

[squeaks]

Oh, I forgot.
I need to send this to the lab

so they can uncover its secret,
youth-giving properties.

Oh, why didn't I steal more?

Uh, pardon me, ma'am,
we're done with the plumbing.

Oh, no you're not.

-[truck braking]
-[engine stops]

Hey, what's that doing here?

Uh-oh, Jasper, we got company.

Well, look who's here.

[Jasper] Guess what, puppies?

We're gonna steal all your water
so old hag face can make millions.

Shh.

That's right.

There won't be a drop left.

The farm will just dry up
and, poof, go away.

[laughs]

-[growls]
-Wait.

I got a better idea.

[clinking]

Fill her up.

[both gasping]

[Horace strains]

[grunting]

There better not
be any leaks in this one.

[all grunting]

-[mud squelches]
-Hey, nothing's going in.

-[rumbling]
-[grumbling]

[muffled yelps]

[hammer clanging]

[Horace] If I didn't know any better,

I'd say these puppies
are trying to stop us

-from stealing the water.
-[Jasper scoffs]

Oh, don't worry, Horace,
you don't know any better.

In fact, you don't know anything.

[Horace] That's a relief.

I told you Swamp Rat
would have helium.

Yeah, it's a good thing
we had Dipstick to trade.

Hmm, I wonder how much
it'll cost to get him back.

[air whooshes]

-It's finally working.
-We did it!

[geese honking]

[screaming]

[yelping shouts]

Help! Help!

-[thudding]
-[glass breaks]

There you are!

What are you doing?

Where is my water?

[groaning] Well, madam.

-There was a slight problem.
-I don't know anything.

Oh! If you want
something stolen right,

steal it yourself. [slapping]

[both scream]

[both yelp]

[car engine revs]

Well, look who's here.

It's Cruella. What do we do?

I say we give her what she wants.

[all] Huh?

Finally, this fountain of youth
will be mine!

Now!

[clucking]

-[engine revs]
-[gasps]

[groans]

-Bottle that, Cruella!
-Yeah!

[screaming]

[screams]

-[phone rings]
-Um, it's the lab, ma'am.

They say the water
is just ordinary tap water.

I don't know anything.

Ordinary tap water!

[glass breaks]

[deflating whooshes]

[screams]

[gasps] Look at me.

I'm gorgeous anyway.

Why, I don't need youth.

I just need better lighting.

Mwah.

[rooster crows]

♪ Lift your legs and move your butt ♪

♪ Lieutenant Pug is a great big nut ♪

[grumbles] You think that's funny?

I'll tell you what's funny:
your marching!

My grandma
can move quicker than you

and she's deaf!

Now move it!

Come on, girls.

The worms won't wait.

-Excuse me, sir, but--
-Quiet, cadet!

-You're breaking stride.
-You're gonna--

[crashes]

Oh, my dear, I am sorry.

Oh!

Why don't you watch
where you're going?

Well, pardon me,

but you didn't exactly
have the right of way.

Listen, worm lover,

as leader of the Bark Brigade
I always have the right of way!

Now see here, Lieutenant.

I may not be some kind
of canine commando,

but my work
is just as hard as yours is,

and I deserve your respect!

For leading a bunch of dumb clucks!

[laughing]

Any dog could do that

with one paw tied
behind a New York minute.

[cackling]

Such as yourself for instance?

-I think not, Lieutenant Pug.
-Huh?

Oh, really?

Then how's about
you putting your money

where your beak is. Huh?

Let's switch jobs.

If I can't out-chicken you
by midnight, then I'll--

I'll quit the Bark Brigade.

It'll be Cluck Brigade.

And who would be the judge?

Someone who's real fair,
square, and honest--

a real stand-up dog--
pretty nearly.

-Trident!
-Sir.

I'm not sure I want to get in--

Relax, Trifold,

this chicken stuff
is a walk in the swamp. [chuckling]

Well, he does have integrity,
and he is bonded.

Okay, pug, you're on!

[gulps] My mom's gonna
lead the Bark Brigade?

I got a bad feeling about this.

[chickens clucking]

What's my first mission
as a chicken, Tripwire?

Looking for worms, sir.

Oh, looking for worms?

[chuckles] Too easy.

-[slurps]
-Not with your face!

-Huh?
-Are you insane?

This is how you do it:

paw up, heft, roll, check--

no worms--

paw down. That's the drill!

Now repeat that procedure.

-[blows raspberry]
-Huh?

-What's that?
-[laughing]

Ooh, must have
been the wind there.

All right, let's see it.

-Paw up--
-[hacks, spits]

[laughing]

You see, right now

a lesser animal
might lose his cool,

but not a Bark Brigade
commander. [chuckling]

[growls]

[screaming]
You just bought it, bass bait!

[Pug shouts and snorts]

Huh?

-[splats]
-[grunts]

[growls]

[angry grunting]

[harsh breathing, mutters]

[growls]

[grunting slows]

[Pug pants]

That's how you do it!

Right, Triage?

An "F"?

[whines] You got to work with me here.

Sorry, sir. I have to be impartial.

We've been at this for hours.

I can't take it much longer.

Cornelia, why do we keep
crossing the road?

Why else? To get to the other side.

[fake laughter]

Next on the agenda,

uh, chick sitting.

Child's play, Tri-state.

All right, cadet!

I'm your new commanding officer.

- Comprende?
-Peep.

That means I'm in charge,
I'm the top dog,

I call the shots, I run the show.

-Got it?
-Peep.

I've got one rule, and one rule only.

Sit still!

If you can do that,
we'll get along just fine.

Peep.

Where'd she go?

[honks]

[pants] I told you to sit still!

-Peep.
-Where'd she go?

[whining] Where'd she go?

Peep.

-[Princess moos]
-Princess, no!

[moos]

[groans]

[straining]

-[Pug sighs in relief]
-[moos]

Now behave yourself, will you?

Peep.

[yodeling]

No!

Huh? [screaming cry]

[squelches]

I'm, uh, trying
to grade you on a curve.

[puppies grunting]

[grunting]

What are we doing?

It's called hunting and pecking.

Peep.

Make the bad chick stop.

Uh, Cornelia,

I was wondering if we could take
a little kibble break.

Oh, no time, sweetheart.

You've got to memorize your irrational
panic drills before bedtime.

The sky is falling. The sky is falling.

I don't mean to sound judgmental,
but that bird is cuckoo.

Hey! That's my mom
you're talking about.

Oh, I'm sorry, you're right.
Your mother is cuckoo!

All right, that's it.
It's time for drastic measures.

So now you want to help me, huh?

Well, forget it!

I saw how glad
you guys were to get rid of me,

and I don't need your help.

I've got a new crew now,
and they love me!

-[angry clucking]
-Oomph!

Why did I open my big yap?

How many tests
does he have left, Tripod?

Just one, egg sitting.

Egg sitting, easy peasy.

Sweet goddess of love.

That is the biggest egg
I have ever seen.

[chuckles] That's nothing for mom.

You should see
what she squeezes out at Easter.

I can't sit on that thing.

[cries]

You can do it, sir. Just relax,

and remember there is no pressure.

Don't stay up late, pups.

We're getting up at dawn
to grouse for grubs.

Listen up, short stuff!

You got to pull this off!
Do you hear me?

You got to pull this off!

[ticking]

Just five more minutes, Lieutenant.

You can do it!

Hey, I might actually make it.

Sir, you are gonna make it.

You're a better chicken than I am.

You're right!

I am strong.

I'm invincible!

I am chicken!

[clucking]

No. Oh no!

-[all gasp]
-[Lieutenant muttering]

-Whoa, whoa, ah!
-[puppies] Whoa, oh.

Whoa, gah!

[nervous muttering]

See?

I've got everything under control.

Whoa-- oomph!

[egg splats]

Maybe Cornelia won't find out.

Sorry, sir. Rules are rules.

[sighs]

Well, that's that.

The cookie has sung.

The fat lady has crumbled.

The Bark Brigade is all yours.

Oh, how sad.

Okay, bedtime!

Welcome to the sinkhole of misery.

You guys want to watch TV?

Stay back and you won't get hurt.

All I want is the chicken!

-[clucking]
-Unhand her, you!

Put a sock in it, sister!

That's no way to treat a lady!

[growling]

I had no idea
Pug was capable of such nobility.

Oh, Pug, how can
I ever repay you?

Ah, just doing my job.

Of course
it's not my job any more.

So good-bye forever.

No! I was wrong
to disrespect you!

Your job is just as hard as mine!

[crying] Don't make me
leave the Bark Brigade!

I've learned a lesson too.

I had no idea
how to handle that emergency.

I guess I can't be top dog

any more than
you can be top chicken.

The Bark Brigade is yours.

Whew, what a stroke of luck.

-Right, guys?
-Yeah, absolutely.

It is a little strange though.

The koala's diet
consists mostly of eucalyptus leaves.

Why would it attack a chicken?

Ah, the things I have to do
to stay second in command.

[sighs]

[theme music plays]