01x07 - The High Price of Fame/The Great Cat Invasion

[bunniefuu]

-[theme music playing]
-[barking]

[engine revs]

♪ I'm seeing lots of spots ♪

♪ Plenty of polka dots ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ Can't catch a furry flurry ♪

♪ Running in a blurry hurry ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Canines on the run ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Them doggone dogs are fun ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Without fail you'll wind up
Chasing your tail ♪

♪ What's the harm
In revelrous adventures ♪

-♪ On the funny farm? ♪
-[clucks]

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

[barks]

♪ Life's just a bed of roses ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Fast friends with cold, wet noses ♪

-♪ 1-0-1 ♪
-♪ Through thick, thin, push and pull ♪

♪ It's 1-0-1 oh wonderful! ♪

♪ Just tons of fun ♪

♪ 101 Dalmatians! ♪

[upbeat music playing]

You wanna make a tape of me? What for?

For the TV show

Stupendously Embarrassing Home Videos.

Yeah, they're paying big bucks
for tapes of animals doing stunts.

What kind of stunts?

You know, like the time you got sucked in
by the sump pump

and shot over the barn
like a water rocket.

Ha! Why don't you have her fly
through the windmill again?

[laughs]
That's a sure crowd-pleaser.

Remember her with that roll of duct tape?

I'm still laughing.

[both laughing]

Come on, Spot, don't just stand there.

What, you think I'm gonna do
something stupid just 'cause you asked?

I'm not a clown. I have my dignity.

[groaning]

[screams]

[dinging]

[screams]

[mumbling]

[laughter]

Oh.

[moans]

Nobody respects me.

They think I'm a buffoon...

a ninny, a dumb cluck.

I'd trade my feathers
for a little respect.

Mmm!

Howdy, Mrs. Spot.

[gasps]
Swamp Rat.

I couldn't help but overhear
your touching soliloquy.

Oh, what do you want?

Oh, I'm just a friend

here to extend a helping paw
in your hour of need.

And I just happen to have with me

everything you need to gain the respect
you so richly deserve.

You can't give me respect, can you?

Give you? No! Giving's bad for business,

but I'll sell you some for a price.

Mmm, my friends say it's dangerous
to do business... with you.

Would them be those camcorder-carrying,
tape-making,

embarrass-you-at-any-cost friends, hmm?

You've got yourself a deal!

Fine and dandy.

Now, you hang onto this.
It's got everything you need.

Hey, there's nothing in here but junk.

I made a deal for junk?

Swamp Rat?

Ah, where'd he go? Where'd he go?

Oh, no, I forgot to ask him the price.

♪ Safe and hide their tail ♪

♪ We will hit the dusty trail ♪

♪ As those canines go rollin' along... ♪

Oh!

[buzzing]

[groaning]

[buzzing]

[screams]

Now, there's something
you don't see every day.

Psst! Spring and straws.

Huh?

Get a spring and two straws

from the bag.

Okay, now what?

[screaming, grunting]

[screams]

Cadet Featherbrain,
I'll see you get a medal for this.

Chickens, chickens.

Hey, Spotacus,

everybody's talking
about how you saved Pug.

They're saying you're a hero.

What? Really? Me?

Quiet! Thunderbolt's starting.

[all gasp]

[Cadpig] Look out!

[gasps]

Inner tube.

Inner tube?

[groans]

[grunting]

[screams]

[crashes]

Are you all right?

I was so worried.

Talk about inner strength.

Talk about rubber chickens.

Spot, you saved the TV!

You really are a hero.

[all chanting]
Spot! Spot! Spot!

Spot! Spot! Spot!

Spot! Spot...

They like me! They really like me!

Of course, they do.

You're fast becoming
a bona fide role model.

Thanks to you.

B-b-but, what are you getting out of this?

Oh, now, Missy, there'll be plenty
of time to talk turkey...

later.

Oh, it looks like it's that time again.

[clanking]

[Nanny] Good heavens!

[groaning]

[screams]

Whoa!

Ohh! Ohh!

What could be wrong with that contraption?

How can I feed the puppies?

No dinner?

There's gonna be trouble.

Uh-oh! It's getting ugly out there.

Psst! Hubcap.

Hubcap?

[whinnies]

[screams]

[chanting]
Spot! Spot! Spot!

Spot! Spot! Spot!

Spot! Spot! Spot!

[mumbling]

[chanting]
Spot! Spot! Spot!

[clucking]

[barking]

[chicken clacking]

Sorry I'm late.

My public is so demanding.

It's nice to be respected, ain't it?

Yeah, I feel great,

and I owe it all to you.

Well, funny you should mention that,
'cause it's time to settle up.

Let me see here.
Three stunts, overtime, the paper bag,

it comes to... 300 feathers.

But that's every feather I have.

I'd be naked.

Well, see, now, that's the price.

You've got till tomorrow to pay up
or I'll tell everyone that you're a fake,

and you'll have even less respect
that you did at the git-go.

Oh, what am I gonna do?

If I give him all my feathers,

I'll be a plucked chicken,
totally humiliated.

And if I don't,
Swamp Rat will tell everyone...

"... Tell everyone
my heroic acts were staged

and how I'm nothing but a big phony.

Either way, I'll lose all the respect
I finally got.

[Lucky] By the time you read this,

I'll have run away
to the farthest end of the earth.

Your respectless ex-friend Spot."

It's our fault.

Our thoughtless behavior
ruined her right down to her giblets.

What are giblets?

Cadpig's right.
We've got to find her, you guys.

[screams]

[coughing]

[Cadpig] Spot!

-Are you all right?
-Thank goodness we found you!

Come on, let's go home.

I can never go home.

The Swamp Rat
will tell everyone my secret.

We already know your secret.

And you still want to be friends with a...

embarrassment?

You're not an embarrassment.
You're our pal.

None of this would have happened
if we hadn't teased you.

We only exploit your inadequacies
because we love you.

We didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

Yeah, we're sorry.

Puppy pile!

[laughter]

[giggling]

Oh, I am so moved.

But considering the chicken
seems to be skipping town,

maybe I'd better collect
what's owed me now.

Boys, start pluckin'.

Fine! You can have my feathers.

Take 'em all.

I just love the collection business.

It's, uh, so... so satisfying.

Would you take a check?

Whoa! Hold it, boys.

It's worth $100.

Yeah, we won it from a TV show...

Stupendously Embarrassing Home Videos

for a tape we made of Spot.

It's genuine.

[sniffs]

I can smell it.

You got yourself a deal.
Leave the chicken be.

But, boss...

You heard me! A deal's a deal.

Been a plum pleasure
doin' business with y'all.

Take care now, ya hear?

Oh, you guys gave up a whole $100...

[gulps]
...for me?

Spot, you're our friend.

You're worth more than any old check.

Besides, where's a dog
gonna cash a check anyway?


[upbeat music playing]

[all groaning]

-[snoring]
-[yawning]

[growls]

Let me remind you
that it is my solemn duty

to prepare each and every one of you
miserable muttballs

for the coming cat-tastrophe.

-He's been hitting the swamp water again.
-[both laugh]

Did you just sass me, Luckless?

Um, uh, eh, no... no, sir.

I was speaking metaphorically?

I don't care
if you were speaking pig Latin!

I know sass when I hear it.

Okay, Mr. Sassy,

let's see how sassy you feel
after I get done with you.

[chuckles]

[gulps]

[Pug] Okay, this is your training course.

It has been designed
to sharpen your instincts,

get you into shape,
and keep you on your toes.

Okay, at the whistle. Ready?

[blows whistle]

[barking]

[Pug] Come on, come on, let's go! Move it!

You're too slow! Next two pups!
Come on, quickly!

[groans]

[grunting]

[groans]

[whimpers]

Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut!

[all grunting]

[Pug] Well, well, well.

That was the most pathetic,
half-hearted display of dog soldiering

I've ever seen,

except of course for the egg-layer
and cadet Tripod.

Excuse me, sir, can we go now?

No, you cannot go.

You can never go!

'Cause we're gonna do it
till we get it right.

Oh, and, uh, by the way,
lunch is canceled.

Hello? If you want to get Pug
off your backs,

just learn the drills.

Why? There isn't gonna be
any great cat invasion.

It's all a product of Pug's
deranged little imagination.

Oh, oops! Did that sound judgmental?

All we need is a plan to keep Pug
off our backs for the rest of the day,

something that will put him in his place.

[horn honks]

[Lucky] "House of Cats"?

I think I've just the thing.

Move it, move it, move it!

I'm having a press party for my new line
of feline themed frocks today,

and I want this tent up and ready.

[Pug] I don't get it.

I'm trying to save their bacon,

trying to prepare them for armakitten,

but they just don't care.

Well, I'm behind you, sir.

I know, and thanks for kissing up.

[Lucky] Lieutenant!

-Hmm?
-Quick!

There's something you gotta see.

[grunting]

[Pug gasps]

Flaming ba*ls of fur!

What did I tell ya?!

It's the great cat invasion!

Luckless, take the others
and hold the fort!

Cadet Tripod, come with me!

We got some recon to do.

Yes, sir!

[snoring]

[laughter]

I can't believe it!

What a sucker!

"Oh, no! The cats are coming!

The cats are coming!"

[laughter]

[meows]

Madame, I can see spending money on table
decorations and floral arrangements,

but why did you have to purchase
all these cats?

Ohh! Oh, my! You're not going to...

Oh, don't be a fool.

I wouldn't dream of making
the delightful little beasts into coats.

It would be far too politically incorrect.

No, I have a much better idea...
feline frocks.

[Cruella] Each frock features
a live cat epaulet on each soldier.

Cat fightin' rule number one: stay alert.

Cats are slipperier
than spit on a doorknob.

But they cannot elude the trained eye.

Okay, cat fightin' rule number two:

Nail the leader and the rest will follow.

[Pug] Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Time to kiss my canine!

Take that... ooh!

Ohh!

This isn't an invasion.

It's a sissy-pants tea party.

Uh, so it seems, sir.

Well, then,
in light of recent developments,

there's only one thing to do.

What's that, sir, buckle down,
power up, take the fight to them?

No, quit, give up, go home.

[meows]

[truck beeping]

But, sir, you can't quit.

Watch me.

But the pups need you.

You know, I've been thinking.

There's a teeny, tiny, itsy-bitsy,
eenie-weenie chance

that Pug's feelings might be hurt
because we tricked him.

Nah. Besides, it's time he woke up

and learned that there's no such thing
as a great cat invasion.

Is this thing on?

Uh. Arrrrgh!

Uhh! Welcome to the premiere
of the House of de Vil's new fall line.

I think it's safe to say that each of you
must be rabid with anticipation.

And so, ladies and gentlemen,

without any further ado,

I believe it's time for...
[gasps]

Show tunes!

[meowing]

[gasps, screams]

Uh, I think we have a problem.

[gasps]

Pug was right!

It's the great cat invasion.

What are we gonna do?

We gotta use the drills.

[all] But we don't know the drills.

Well, try! I can't do everything myself!

I'm only one chicken!

[meowing]

Is it me, or do you guys have the sneaking
suspicion that we're actually doomed!

Quit your begging.

I've made up my mind.

Lucky showed me up for the fool I am,

and I'll never track another cat again!

Huh?

What is it, Lieutenant?

[sniffing]
A catnip mouse.

I was right! It's a full-scale invasion!

To the farm!

I only hope we're not too late!

[meowing]

Moo!

Scat!

Don't you be messin' with me.

Pick a card, you handsome devil.

Excuse me, Miss de Vil,
but when are we gonna see the...

Pick a card!

Oh, dirt in the milk,

they're scratching the chow tower,

they've even changed the channel!

Those... those animals!

I'm not gonna say I told you so, but...

[Pug] I told you so!

[all] Lieutenant Pug!

Glad to see me, aren't ya?

You bet you are!

Now, fall in and let's kick some tail!

[meowing]

Say good-bye to life number nine!

[panting]

[meows]

[Pug] What's the matter,
dog got your tongue?

[evil laugh]

[meows]

You wanna dance with me?
Come on, let's dance!

[meowing]

[barking]

[growling]

Now, let's send these pussycats packin'!

Where's that truck?

So, if the, uh, cats were here,

they would go on the shoulders
of the dresses like this.

Meow.

Meow.
[chuckles]

[horn honks]

Meow.

Rrreow!

[gasps]

[crashes]

[meowing]

Do you have a statement about the cats,
Miss de Vil?

-Are you serious, Miss de Vil?
-Is this some kind of joke?

Now, listen up, cadets.

No matter what life throws at you,

you gotta grab the bull
by the seat of the pants.

You have to be prepared.

So learn your drills,

because I won't always be around
to save your tails.

And now, the House of de Vil presents
this season's hottest new creation:

The feline frock, alley cat style.

[applause]

Aha!
[laughs]

I know what you're thinkin',

but cats schmats!

This is show business!
[chuckles]

[theme music plays]