02x29 - The Maltese Chicken

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[barking]

[engine revs]

♪ I'm seeing lots of spots ♪

♪ Plenty of polka dots ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ Can't catch a furry flurry ♪

♪ Running in a blurry hurry ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Canines on the run ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Them doggone dogs are fun ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Without fail
You'll wind up chasing your tail ♪

♪ What's the harm in revelrous adventures
On the funny farm? ♪

-♪ 1-0-1 ♪
-[barks]

-♪ Life's just a bed of roses ♪
-♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Fast friends with cold, wet noses ♪

-♪ 1-0-1 ♪
-♪ Through thick, thin, push and pull ♪

♪ It's 1-0-1, oh, wonderful ♪

♪ Just tons of fun ♪

♪ 101 Dalmatians! ♪

[Spot] The day started like any other:

a dog, a dame, an old detective show.

But it soon turned as ugly
as a pitbull in pearls.

My poodle! My sister!

My poodle! My sister!

Sorry, toots, your little game's over.

You're taking the fall.

Man, that detective sure is smart.

I never would've figured Natasha did it.

Oh, give me a break.

It was obvious from the beginning.

She used the old hollow poodle trick.

Oh, yeah, right, like you knew.

Are you kidding?

Guilt was all over her face
like a DayGlo muzzle.

A real detective always knows.

[Cadpig] Hello!

Reality check!

Detective, farm animal.

Private eye, poultry.

[laughter]

[Spot] Their laughter mocked me
like a rubber sandwich.

Sure, it was fun to chew on,

but it left me feeling empty inside.

Soon, they'd be howling
a different tune.

[knock on door]

[knocking]

[panting]

You won't believe it!

Cornelia's laid the biggest egg
in chicken history!

[overlapping yelling]

[wails]

Lucy, Corny's laid a giant egg
and we're gonna go see it!

Come on!

Oh, that's just what this farm needs,

a big egg that'll make a big chick

that'll make a big noise.

Now I'll never get any peace and quiet.

You're not a morning person, are you?

[grumbles]

[barking]

[Cruella] Think, Anita! Think!

A new design, something exciting,
something thrilling!

Something I can make for peanuts.

Well, I was thinking about a new line

of fashionable work wear for farm folk.

Out of the stable
and straight to the table.

Ugh. Hm.

Hm...

Ugh. No, no, no, no!

That's too done, too ordinary!

We need something
that's never before been seen.

-Something... something...
-[animal chatter]

something... something...

Oh, what is that infernal farmy noise?

Oh, dear. Something's bothering the hens.

I better go check.

But you haven't given me
my brilliant idea yet!

Whoa! That's big!

That's huge!

That's breakfast!

[clucks] Breakfast?

Why, that egg is sure to win
a prize at the county fair.

[chomping]

[gulps]

So it's a big egg.

I am much bigger

and gettin' bigger all the time.

Interesting case.

Egg envy.

[gasps] Oh my!

Cornelia, you wonderful girl.

Look at the size of this egg!

Anita, I don't have time for this!

I must have my new idea
for the House of De Vil.

Something that will crack
the fashion world wide op...

[gasps] Mm...

Yes.

Yes. I sense inspiration.

Crude, simple, smooth, yet strangely oval.

Oh. [gasps]

I've just had the most eggs-ordinary idea!

[laughs] I'm brilliant.

-[gasps]
-[gasps]

Whew.

-Ah.
-Ta-ta, Anita darling.

Must dash.

-But Cruella...
-[car door closes]

[Spot] I had a feeling deep in my giblets

that something devilish
was about to happen

to that egg.

[Cornelia screams]

My egg! My beautiful egg!

Vanished!

Try to keep
your sunny side up, Cornelia.

[sobs]

Oops. Bad choice of words.

I mean, who could have
poached this egg?

[sobs]

Ugh. Did it again!

Bad Cadpig! Ooh, bad Cadpig!

Boy, I sure wish
that TV detective was here.

He could solve this mystery in a minute.

Detective?

Hm...

What's got into her?

Bad worms?

-[click]
-Hey!

Who turned off the color?

Oh no! Farm noir! Huh?

[puppies] Spot?

The name's Pullet Marlow,
private chick.

Mystery is my middle name.

I thought it was Irma.

[Spot] It was a hot day in the hen house.

Crazy hot.

Hot enough to make
a criminal stick to his story.

But first...

-[sobbing]
-I had to find one to grill.

[sobs louder]

[groans]

What's up with you, poultry P.I.?

I'll tell you what's up.

I'm taking charge
and I'm cracking this egg-napping caper.

Uh-oh, Spot's getting delusional again.

Let's hope this ends better

than that ugly
Swiss bell-ringing incident.

Enough yapping.

Who's with me and who's a suspect?

[all] We're with you.

Good. Let's case the joint,
heh, for prints.

[Spot] Hm... hoof prints, goose prints,
puppy prints, and... [gasps]

chicken prints?

And the feet are still in 'em!

[all scream]

Spot, this is a farm.

Those footprints are all ours.

Minor detail.

[Spot] Ah-ha!

Another clue: a feather.

Now there's something you don't find
in a hen house every day.

Oh, wait, you do. [laughs]

-[all laugh]
-Not this kind of feather.

Observe the size of the quill,
the length of the barbs.

This is the primary
wing feather of a goose.

Goose feather?

Hey, remember what Lucy said yesterday?

Oh, that's just what this farm needs,

a big egg that'll make a big chick
that'll make a big noise.

I'll never get any peace and quiet.

[Spot] We had our first suspect:

a disgruntled goose
with a dislike for decibels.

A goose who never wanted
to see that egg hatch.

So, who else was acting
suspiciously yesterday?

Well, I remember everyone
was excited about the egg.

Everyone except for Dumpling.

She was only interested in eating.

And, uh, that's a bad thing, right?

But Dumpling also said
something about the egg.

Uh, what was it?

[snorting]

Huh, so it's a big egg.

Who cares?

I'm much bigger
and gettin' bigger all the time!

That's, uh, not much to go on.

But Cruella sure made
a big deal about that big egg.

I've just had the most eggs-ordinary idea!

[Spot] I began to wonder
what sort of crazy scheme

that Cruella dame might be cooking up.

Perhaps a dinner party

with deviled egg as the main course?

Let's split up
and investigate our suspects.

[Spot] Lucky and Rolly,
assigned Dumpling.

Look, Rolly.

In there, in that sack.

The size, the shape,
it's gotta be the egg.

Or a really big, dirty jellybean.

Let's check it out.

Yeah, but how are we gonna
get past Ed Pig and Dumpling?

[Spot] Cadpig's assignment: Lucy.

That nest is big enough to hold
two of Cornelia's eggs.

I gotta get a look inside!

[Spot] My assignment: Cruella.

I know that sneaking
into Villa de Vil was risky,

but I'm a private chick.

And danger is my business.

-[screams]
-[clattering]

[wails]

-[squeak]
-[yelps]

Hi-yah!

Oops.

[squeaks]

[grunts]

Ugh! [gasps]

[screams]

[snoring]

Aah! What the blue blazes?

Oh, this can't be good!

What do you think you're doin'?

Um, go back to sleep, Ed.

You're having a-a dream.

If I'm dreamin', then how come
I have to go back to sleep?

-[both scream]
-[crash]

[Lucky and Rolly arguing]

[Rolly] Get out of my way!

Hey, how come I have to
do all the digging?

Because, Rolly, I told you,

ice cream grows underground.

Oh, yeah, that's right!

My goodness, honeybunch.

You certainly are gettin' to be
one big ol' fat sack of lard.

Oh, thank you!

Am I the biggest thing you ever did see?

Yeah, you're a shoe-in to win
that Best Big Farm Thing Contest

just like you do every year, yes, you do.

I dig 20 feet underground,
and this is my reward?

We'd better follow her.

[grunts]

[frog chirps]

[Cadpig gags]

[coughs]

[grunts]

She's gone! Now is my chance.

So, this is where
Lucy's been hiding the...

[gasps] She broke Cornelia's egg!

[Spot] Finally, I made it
into Cruella's house.

Heh.

The goosebumps
on the back of my neck

told me somebody was on my trail.

Also, that nagging rash
hadn't cleared up.

[snickers]

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

-[snickers]
-[screams]

[wails]

[grunts]

[laughs, gasps]

[Spot] It was plain
as the beak on my face.

Cruella was the egg-napper.

[grunts] I got it.

[grunts]

Oh, wait. No, I got it.

No, I don't got it. I got it!

I don't know. Aah!

[grunts, groans]

I, uh, I meant to do that.

-[Scorch snarls]
-[screams]

[Spot wails]

[both scream]

[both scream]

No!

[Scorch screams]

[Spot] Rubber egg?

So, that must be where
rubber chickens come from.

Oh, so that's where I left it.

It's time for my press conference
to begin.

[cameras clicking]

The House of de Vil presents

a new fashion concept
that will bring you out of your shell:

egg wear!

-[man] Oh, that's wonderful!
-Tah-dah!

Oh, it's wonderful!

This is the first in my new line

of low cholesterol accessories
that will have the public,

uh, scrambling to the stores.

So, there I was.

An egg on her head and egg on my face.

[Spot] Yes, the yolk was on me.

I knew they were bad puns,
but nothing mattered anymore.

Well, that's it. We lost Dumpling.

No, she's gotta be here somewhere.

You don't just lose

[Cadpig] Come here! Everybody!

I caught the egg-napper!

I got the egg-napper!

I'm innocent.

Innocent, I tell you!

Hm...

[Cornelia] Oh, maybe we don't have
enough evidence!

We shouldn't jump to conclusions.

Well, sure we should.

Now look here, you and me
go back a long way, Lucy,

so it does pain me to say this,
but you know the law.

Break an egg, go to jail.

I tell you, I didn't...

[Ed] But seeings how
we're old friends and all,

I'm just gonna banish you
from the farm for all eternity.

Fine.

If that's the way
you want to be, who cares?

This place was always
too noisy anyway.

Don't forget to write.

Spot, you missed it.

Cadpig got the goods on Lucy.

She was the egg-napper all along.

Lucy? How'd you know?

Evidence, my dear chicken.

I found these all over Lucy's nest.

Hm...

My finely tuned detective instincts say

there's something funny
about these shells.

Huh. Mm-hmm. Hm...

We need to reassemble the egg
to know for sure.

Glue sticks.

[Spot] Ah-ha!

This was not Cornelia's egg.

I still have a piece left.

So, this means...

Lucy's being framed.

Who would do that?

What about the other suspects?

Cruella's out. Her egg bounces
as high as her mood swings.

That still leaves one suspect:

Dumpling.

Where were you the night
Cornelia's egg was stolen?

Where's that egg-shaped thingy
that was in your sty?

-Why'd you move it?
-And why are you eating so much?

And what's that little piece of fat
in the pork and beans?

What?

I thought she might know.

None of your business.

What's it to ya, who cares,

and Uncle Leo.

[Ed] Now what is all this here fuss?

My Dumpling is eating to get ready

for the Best Big Farm Thing Contest
next week.

Ain't you, honeybunch? Isn't that right?

Ah-ha! That's it!

You felt threatened
by mommy's grade-A double jumbo,

and that's why you took it!

I do not have to answer
any more questions, do I, Daddy?

Not without counsel, sugarplum.

[raspberry]

[Spot] That's when I knew
that big pork chop was guiltier

than a raccoon
at a garbage can convention.

It was time for a stakeout.

[snoring]

-[yelps]
-[yelps]

-[yelps]
-Shh!

-We lost her.
-Not if we follow our noses.

Come on!

That pesky pullet is on to me.

I better put you in a safer place.

[Spot] Not so fast, big pig.

I got you red hoofed.

-[screams]
-Aah!

Yeow!

[screams, grunts]

[yelling, grunting]

You were right.

It was Dumpling.

[Spot] All right, porker, squeal.

I am the best big farm thing
in the tri-county area

and I have got
the medals to prove it.

No egg is gonna rain on my parade.

Sorry, toots, your little game is over,

and you're taking the fall.

I-I-I didn't mean to, Daddy.

I was just afraid you wouldn't be proud
of me anymore if I didn't win the contest.

I would have given it back
right after the contest was over.

Oh, mudpie,

I've always been proud of you.

You'll always be the biggest
farm thing in my heart.

Oh, gee, Daddy!

Now apologize to Cornelia.

I am sorry.

Cornelia, I, uh, trust I still have
your vote in the next election.

Hm.

[Spot] The case was closed.

But I knew it would never be over

until a travesty of justice was righted.

[Lucy grumbles]

[Cadpig] Lucy, come on back!

-Come on, Lucy!
-Come back!

Am I not leaving
fast enough for you?

[overlapping chatter]

As mayor, I officially reinstate you
to full citizenship in our fair community.

I also must say that I'm sorry
for my hasty actions, Lucy,

and I have forbid Dumpling
to participate

in this year's
Best Big Farm Thing Contest.

Welcome back, Lucy.

-[cheering]
-Well, for once, I must say

I don't mind this kind of noise.

But at least try to sing on key.

Ain't she something?
You heard the lady!

Find a key...

[Spot] Well, it was a tough case,

but at last, the scales of Lady Justice

were tipped to, uh...

The-the lady's scales
tipped over and, uh...

No. Uh, the tipsy lady scaled the, uh...

[Cadpig] Face it, Spot.

You're metaphorically challenged.

Hey, this is my iris out.

Get our own voice-over.

[scoffs] You call this a voice-over?

I'm the star of this one!

I'm calling my agent!

Hello, Sandy?

[theme music playing]