01x08 - No Train, No Gain

[bunniefuu]

-[theme music playing]
-[barking]

[engine revs]

♪ I'm seeing lots of spots ♪

♪ Plenty of polka dots ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ Can't catch a furry flurry ♪

♪ Running in a blurry hurry ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Canines on the run ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Them doggone dogs are fun ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Without fail you'll wind up
Chasing your tail ♪

♪ What's the harm
In revelrous adventures ♪

-♪ On the funny farm? ♪
-[clucks]

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

[barks]

♪ Life's just a bed of roses ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Fast friends with cold, wet noses ♪

-♪ 1-0-1 ♪
-♪ Through thick, thin, push and pull ♪

♪ It's 1-0-1 oh wonderful! ♪

♪ Just tons of fun ♪

♪ 101 Dalmatians! ♪

[upbeat music playing]

[Cruella] Mr. Kim,
I promise every kid in the world

will soon be sucking
on Cruella's Blubber-Pops.

[quivering]

Your investment will pay off.

You just have to be patient.
[chuckles]

Yes, I'll hold.

[British accent]
Hello.

I'm Robin Lunch, and welcome back

to The Lifestyles of the Rich and Fatuous.

Boy, I love this show.

It proves how the rich is just like us.

Except for the fact that they got money.

Yeah, but I bet there's not one of 'em

can eat popcorn with his feet.

[Cruella] Uhh. But... Mr. Kim,

I owe my suppliers
$10 million in two days.

If you back out now, I'll be ruined!

Our next guest is young Bill Fences.

He made a fortune in computers,

but his true passion is...

Choo-choo trains!

I love 'em.

[Robin Lunch]
To satisfy his lust for locomotives,

this boy billionaire has turned his estate

into a private grand central station.

[train whistle blows]

Whoo! Whoo!
[laughs]

Mr. Kim, you can't desert me now.

What am I going to do with 20 tons
of whale blubber?

[indistinct speech]

That's not an appropriate response,
Mr. Kim.

-[phone clicks]
-Mr. Kim?!

Bill, now that you're fabulously wealthy,

is there anything you still want

that you just can't have?

Well, yes. This, actually...

-[gasps]
- A genuine 1912 Kimball railway car.

[snorting laugh]

Boy, I'd give $10 million to find one.

I smell salvation.

[klaxon buzz]

[buzzes]

[cash register rings]

Operator,
get me Billy Fences, boy billionaire,

and make it a collect call.

He has more zeros.

[laughing]

There we were, a thousand feet in the air.

Towser's on one plane and I on the other,

with the pilots of both aircraft
unconscious.

Yeah, yeah. And then?

So, I radioed Towser,

and we planned our course of action.

Action. Yeah! So, what'd you do?

First, we checked our altitude,
speed, and fuel,

then remaining distance to the airfield.

Ah, come on, Colonel,
get to the good stuff.

Did you walk on the wing
or jump between the planes...

you know, do something heroic?

-Now, Lucky...
-Huh?

you cannot simply leap
into a dangerous situation.

You gotta think, plan ahead.

[Colonel] That's the mark of a true hero.

Lucky prefers
the jump-out-of-the-plane-and-see

if-gravity's-on-duty approach.

Yes. Well, in any case,

it was soon apparent that our glide ratio

would not be altogether satisfactory,

so I crawled under the seat, and...

[Spot] Wow! That was some story.

Yeah. Gave me a craving for airplane food.

You thrill-seeker.

Ah, the story was okay,

but I just got a little bored

with all that plotting and planning.

[pants]

[doorbell rings]

[yawns]

Cruella?

Romper, dear boy, did I wake you?

No. I had to get up to answer the door.

Now, is there something you want,

or did you drop by
to remind me that Halloween's coming?

Who is it? Oh! Cruella.

She was just leaving.

I've come in the spirit
of neighborhood clean-up week

to help haul away
all your unsightly litter...

you know, old tires, rusty cans...

antique railway cars.

The railway car?

But it has such character.

That's not character. It's mildew.

Cruella, when we bought this farm
from the widow Smedley,

we promised we'd keep things as is,

so we are not getting rid
of the railway car.

[inhales deeply]

[Jasper] What do we do now, Ms. de Vil?

Steal it.

[Horace] But isn't that stealing?

[Cruella] Nothing gets past you, does it?

[car rumbles]

[squeaking]

[Jasper] Now let's cover our tracks...

[sleepily]
Cover our tracks.

[Jasper] ...and get out of here
before somebody sees us.

Before somebody sees us. Yeah, well...

[squeaking]

Hey, did you hear that?

[metal squeaking]

Somebody's swiping the railway car.

Aw, we better tell Mom and Dad.

There's no time. Come on.

[creaking]

All aboard!

Whoops.

Ohh! You dimwit!

Are you sure you know
how to operate one of these?

We're practically experts.

You just gotta keep the train

on those long metal
kinda thing-a-madubbies.

You mean the tracks?

Oh, well, yeah,
if you want to get technical.

Just get us there fast

and in one piece!

I'll be in my private car.

[tooting]

[gasps]
The train's moving!

Hurry!

[grunting]

[sighs]

[grunts]

[screams]

Oh, the sweet smell of success.

Or is that a pinfeather up my nose?
[sneezes]

-Wait! Where's Rolly?
-[Rolly] I'm down here!

-[all] Rolly!
-Help!

Grab my paw, Rolly.

I'll pull you up.

Get real!

You'll both just fall overboard

and be horribly mangled

on rusty railway spikes!

-No offense, Rolly.
-It's all right.

Hang on, Rolly!

I'll save you!

[both] You'll save him?

[grunts, screams]

Rolly!

Spot, that was amazing.

You give new meaning
to the word "chicken."

[squawks]

[clanks]

-[shouting]
-[banging on door]

Oh, goodness gracious.
Hold on, one second.

I wonder what...

[barking]

All right, uh...

Someone's stealin'
the railway car, Colonel.

Oh, nonsense. It's ri...
[gasps]

[Colonel]
Good gravy, we've been shanghaied.

Come on, let's go get 'em.

Stay calm, Cadet.

But we've gotta do something, fast.

Oh, yes. But not till we know
what we're up against.

Rolly, Spot, Cadpig,

initiate barking-chain distress call.

Lucky and I will do
some reconnaissance here.

You mean spying?

Cool!

[barking]

[barking in code]

Pongo, have you seen Lucky,
Rolly, and Cadpig this morning?

Mmm, no.

Maybe they're off with...

-[barking]
-Shh!

Quiet, everyone! Listen!

[barking in code]

Did you hear that?

The Colonel and the puppies
are on the railway car

heading towards Mount Sherwood.

If we hurry, we can cut them off
at the Stiffle train station.

[barking]

Huh? What's goin' on?

[barking]

Where are they going?

[panting]
Okay, you guys,

what is so interesting
about the railway... Whoa!

It's a fake!

Roger, you don't think Cruella...

I always think Cruella.

Now, the question is,
how can we track her down?

[barking]

Bill Fences,

Cruella de Vil here.

I have your railway car.

Do you have my $10 million?

[snorting]
Oh, yes. I can't wait!

Where can we meet?

Oh, someplace convenient,

across the state line,

say, Jenkins Junction?

Fine. Whoo-whoo to you, too.

Cruella's gonna sell
the Colonel's railway car.

I say we go get her right now.

Ah. A frontal attack, and then?

And then we're... Uh...

-I don't know.
-Exactly.

Why tip our paw
when the enemy doesn't know we're here?

[barking]

Hey, you two, sit down back there.

Roger, stop the car.

That road back there leads us
right to the Stiffle train station.

Hey, do you think
that's where the railway car is?

[barking]

Well, it's worth a try.

♪ I've been workin' on the railroad ♪

♪ All the livelong day... ♪

[screams]

♪ I've been workin' on the railroad ♪

♪ Just to pass the time a... ♪

Hey.

Horace, what are you doing?

About 50 miles an hour.

Get in here.

Oh, get me out of here.

Of course, uh, one should never
do this sort of thing at home.

[coughing]

Now what?

[coughing]

Something must be blocking the smokestack.

Well, get up there and fix it!

Uh-oh.

[pops]

[screaming]

[screams]

A memo to myself:

Valentine Blubber-Pop.

Let's see, ad copy to read,

"If you love her, give her blubber."

-[loud thud]
-Yow!

What are you doing in here?

Uh, I thought you might want
to yell at someone?

Why, yes, how very thoughtful of you.

[screams]

Just keep us moving!

[grunts]

What was with the smokestack?

Weird.

It's like somebody covered it
with a bunch of burlap bags.

-[chomps]
-[screams]

[tires screeching]

Memo to my... Whoa!

[train hisses]

[muttering]

Get... this... train... moving now!

Yes, sir!

Ma'am.

Huh?

[engine revving]

[grunting]

Quickly! Back to the railway car!

Oh!

[groaning]

Colonel, are you okay?

Ohh, curse these old bones.

I must have sprained my leg in the fall.

So...

if we're to foil de Vil's plan,

we must have one of our own.

Now, once we pass Stiffle station,

we then climb up Mount Sherwood.

Now, what do you think of
when you see a mountain?

Crisp mountain air,

positive ions,

fabulous vistas.

Colonel, why are we wasting time?

Let's just do something.

Come on, take action! Cut loose!

Cut loose... precisely my idea.

It is?

Yes. As we reach the mountaintop,

we have to cut loose our car
from the train.

And if we time it right,

we'll roll down the slope

to the Stiffle train station and freedom.

But, what if Cruella sees
what we're doing?

How do we stop her from coming after us?

I have a plan for that, too.

Remember, battles aren't won

by impulsive behavior,
but by exploring every option.

Now...
[clears throat]

If you'll excuse me, I'll go send
an S.O.S. to the barking chain.

Colonel, that all sounds great, but...

what if your plan fails?

What if we can't cut the car loose?

Well, then I fear we'll reach
the end of the line...

in more ways than one.

[train whistle blows]

[whistle blows]

Don't stop for anything.
Do you understand?

There it is, Colonel, up ahead,

the railroad switch,

just like you said!

You know what to do, Rolly.

Stay steady...

Alley-oop!

[groaning]

Now... Ow!

[grunts]
You... you three keep watch

while I unhitch the car.

No, Colonel. You're hurt too badly.

Oh, now, it's not so...

Colonel, you always tell us

we have to work together as a team.

Well, we are a team.
You can't do this by yourself.

Touché, cadet.

So, we must adjust our plan accordingly.

[grunts]
It's stuck!

[bells tolling]

[beeping]

-[rings]
-de Vil here.

Miss de Vil, where are you?

I want my railway car.

[screams]
I want my railway car!

Look, Billy,

I'm coming as fast as I can.

Just be ready with my...
[screams]

-[Cruella clears throat]
-Huh?

Can I help you with something?

Let go of that,

you no-good train-stealing mongrels!

[Cruella]
That railway car belongs to me now!

Time for a strategic withdrawal.

[grunting]

[grunting, groaning]

Oh!

[grunting]

We're almost at the top of the mountain.

What are we gonna do?

Save that question
for a rainy day, Cadpig.

[gasps]
The umbrella!

Precisely.

Cadet Spot, we need a diversion.

Finally, a place for my lounge act,

and me without my backup band.

Oh, well.

[singing scat]

[blows raspberry]

Get out of my face, you pesky poultry!

Hurry up, Cadpig.

We're almost at the top.

[clanks]

Stop the train this instant!

Sorry. We're under orders
not to stop this train for anything.

Those were my orders, you lunkhead.

Get out of my way!

[tires screeching]

What are you waiting for?

Back up! We have a railway car to catch!

Not that I want to be
Little Miss Dreary here,

but we're gonna crash!
[screams]

I was counting on the umbrella

to act as a drag chute to slow us down.

Well, this doesn't look good.

Time to enact the next phase of the plan.

Retreat!

Ready.

Ready?

Will you go already!

-[whistle blasts]
-[screams]

[crashes]

-[blows]
-[coughs]

[groans]

[screaming]

[train whistles]

Ohh, papa, here they come.

[grunts]

We're headed down the wrong track!

How could we be headed down
the wrong track?

They're just dogs.

They couldn't do this on purpose.

-Could they?
-We're going too fast, Ms. de Vil.

We're going to sh**t
right past the railway car.

Remind me never to call you in a crisis.

[sweetly]
Hello, Bill?

Yes, I wanted to chat
about your choo-choo.

Well, there's been a tiny change in plans.

Meet me at Stiffle station

in, oh, say, 40 seconds?

[loud bang]

Was that a crash?

[screams]

[continuous screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[train chugging]

[expl*si*n]

That was a crash.

Hey, now, that wasn't so bad.

Except for the broken bones.

[both groans]

[tires screeching]

Cruella, what are you doing
with our railway car?

Uh...

What railway car?

Uh, that railway car.

[barking]

There must be a reasonable explanation
for the, uh,

mix-up.
[chuckles]

And I'll pay top dollar for it.

Glad you guys could make it.

And look! Here comes Rolly.

[barking]

Wow! That turned out great!

But only 'cause we planned ahead.

Radcliff! Anita!

We can all be rich!

This railway car is worth a fortune.

Actually, it's not.

I wanted a 1912 Kimball railway car.

This is a 1915 model.

I already have one of those.

Thanks, anyway, and...

whoo-whoo-whoo!

-[snort]
-[train whistle blows]

[gasps]

[screaming]

[sighs]
Next time I'll take a bus.

[panting excitedly]

[slurps]

[panting]

[theme music playing]