02x33 - The Good-Bye Chick

[bunniefuu]

-[theme music playing]
-[barking]

[engine revs]

♪ I'm seeing lots of spots ♪

♪ Plenty of polka dots ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ Can't catch a furry flurry ♪

♪ Running in a blurry hurry ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Canines on the run ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Them doggone dogs are fun ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Without fail you'll wind up
Chasing your tail ♪

♪ What's the harm
In revelrous adventures ♪

-♪ On the funny farm? ♪
-[clucks]

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

[barks]

♪ Life's just a bed of roses ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Fast friends with cold, wet noses ♪

-♪ 1-0-1 ♪
-♪ Through thick, thin, push and pull ♪

♪ It's 1-0-1 oh wonderful! ♪

♪ Just tons of fun ♪

♪ 101 Dalmatians! ♪

[upbeat music playing]

[Spot and puppies groaning]

[Spot] It's way past my nest time!

If my mom catches me...

Oh, relax for once, Spot!

Hang ten on the cosmic
surfboard of freedom!

Cadpig, your metaphysical metaphors
are getting weirder and weirder.

Here it comes!

[Lucky] Oh, yes!

There's nothing like a harvest moon
for howling at!

[puppies howling]

Shh! You'll wake somebody.

Let go, Spot! Be free!

Release the inner puppy!

[Cadpig howling]

[clears throat]

[crowing]

Hey, that does feel good.

But you gotta put your head back,
Spot, like this.

[howling]

[crowing]

[screams, grunts]

[Spot] Ow!

Oh, hi, Mom.
[chuckles]

Can't sleep?

And just what have you been up to?

Uh, howling at the moon?

Again with the dog act? What next?

Walking? A leash? Fire hydrants?

That was one time, and it was an accident.

[Cornelia]
Well, it's not going to happen again.

From now on,
you're going to spend some time

being a chicken, young pullet.

Hey, Spot,
we're going to go roll in the dirt.

Wanna come?

Can't. I'm sitting on an egg.

[laughter]

[grunts]
Just sh**t me now.

It's Mom's orders.

She says I'm spending too much time
with you guys.

Why, that's Dalmatian discrimination.

Don't let your mother's intolerance
crush your individuality.

Fight oppression, my sister.

Aww, come on, Spot,
it's just one roll in the dirt.

Well...

I guess just one wouldn't hurt.

[puppies laughing]

[gasps]

[gasp]
Fleas?

There are fleas in our henhouse!

[chickens groaning]

Impossible!
How could fleas get into our...

precious, tidy...

[groaning]

What?

You were with those dogs again
when you were supposed to be egg sitting!

I... I...

[Cornelia] That's it!

From now on, you are forbidden
to spend any more time with those pups!

But... they're my best friends!

They make me feel, well...

like a dog!

Ooh! You are a chicken!

Get it? Feathers? Eggs? c*ck-a-doodle-doo?

Any of this sound familiar?

I am not a chicken!

I may walk like a chicken
and talk like a chicken,

but inside, I am all dog!

And I'm gonna hang out
with whoever I want to.

While living in my henhouse,

you'll abide by my rules!

[muffled]
Well, maybe I don't want to live

in your stupid henhouse anymore!

[crickets chirping]

[screams]

[thuds]

A chicken can only take
so much oppression.

I'm gonna run away and live with the pups!

[Spot] Hey, you guys, wake up!

[puppies snoring]

Huh?

Guess what, I am a dog!

[sighs]
Yeah, yeah, I'll alert the media.

Now go back to sleep.

No, really. I'm moving in with you guys.

Full-time!

I thought you already lived with us.

I'll see you in the morning.

This time it's for good.
I ran away from home.

Come on, guys, let's be dogs! Arf!

Let's howl at the moon some more!

[howling]
Let's chase cars! Let's...

You know one of the great things
about being a dog, Spot?

Sleeping.

Sleeping, right.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

I can do that.

[whimpering]

This is great!

[shushes]

[rooster crows]

Morning! Let's romp-and-roll!

Whoo-hoo, I'm awake!

I am a canine!
[roars]

And I'm chasing my tail!

[gasp]

Breakfast! let's eat some kibbles!

[panting]

Yum-yum...

Sorry, but I'm a full-fledged dog now

with a dog-size appetite.

Come on, let's go dig bones!

[imitating barking]

I believe we have created a monster.

[Spot groaning]

There's nothing we dogs like better
than freshly tilled dirt.

-Wait, Spot, no!
-[alarm ringing]

Oh! Out! Out, out, out!

Shoo!

No doggy treats for you
naughty pups for a week!

I don't know why
I didn't do this a long time ago.

I'm too excited. Let's play fetch!

By my rough count,

we've already played fetch
a zillion times today.

Oh, there's nothing left to fetch.

Why don't you go, Spot?

Dogs love to play solitaire fetch.

They do? I mean, we do?

[all] Oh, yeah!

Okeydokey, if it's a dog thing.

-[Lucky] Finally.
-[Rolly] I'm all dogged out.

[Cadpig] Me too.
I'm all in favor of stretching boundaries

and interfacing with personal
growth potentialities,

but... she's becoming a wacko!

[Lucky] When's she gonna face the fact
that she's just not a dog?

Oh, they're right.

[Spot] Not a dog.

Not a chicken.

I just don't fit in anywhere.

Not here, anyway.

It's time for me to find my true self,

to stand on my own two drumsticks.

Yes, sir, I'm gonna be
a free-range chicken.

[snoring]

[screams]
She's gone!

You pups put her up to this!

Putting all those subversive
four-legged ideas in her head!

Whoa, whoa, easy, slow down.

Who's gone?

As if you didn't know!

It's all chicken scratch to me.
What's it say?

[mother] "Not a chicken, not a dog.

Have left to interface
with my growth potentialities.

Farewell."

Only one beast on this farm
talks like that.

What can I say, it's a precious gift.

She must have heard us
talking about her last night.

Aww, man, first we get her busted,
and then we make her run away.

Ooch. Anybody else feel about a ton
of bad karma weighing on their shoulders?

[sniffing]

Don't worry, ma'am,
we'll find your daughter.

[sobbing]

[squawking]

Hey, birds... of a feather,
flocking together.

Hi there. What are you guys doing?

We're line dancing.
What does it look like we're doing?

We're migrating.

How exciting! The jet stream set!

No henhouse fever for you!

Travel, excitement, exotic destinations.

Mind if I tag along?

Uh, yeah, sure, Clucky.

If you can keep up
with that oversized rear spoiler of yours.

Okay, guys, break's over.

Let's move it out!

These breaks are gettin' shorter
and shorter!

[sniffing]

There she is!

[geese honking]

Cruisin' altitude's at 5,000 feet.

See you there!

[groaning]

Five thousand?

I'm lucky if I can make five!

[groaning]

-[Rolly] No, Spot!
-[horn blares]

Look in front of you!

[all] Come back!

Mayday. This goose is down.

[foghorn blows]

[Lucky] I saw this in a Thunderbolt movie.

Jump!

[coughing]

Is this what happened in the movie?

Look!

[puppies] Hey, Spot!

[puppies yipping]

Yep, I'm free as a bird.

No one to tell me what to do,
when to go to bed.

[yawns]

-[traffic passing]
-Bed?

[teeth chattering]

[sighs]
Yuck!

Free as a bird.

[sniffing]

Yeah, yeah.

Chicken scent's getting stronger.

Stronger!

Funny, though,
it has a slight bouquet of...

[sniffs]

...barbecue.

Oh, no, she's been turned
into fried chicken.

That stuff just oozes cholesterol.

Aww, she's not fried.

This dumb bucket
just threw me off the scent.

But I bet she's around here somewhere.
Maybe right under our noses.

Come on!

[sniffing]

Whaddya say, Roscoe?

Takeout for breakfast?

Yeah. Sounds good to me, Bruno.

[screams]

Wait a minute. Cats!

That's it!

Hey, can you two teach me to be a cat?

I tried being a chicken, a dog, a goose,

but nothin's cooler than an alley cat.

Um, actually,
we was thinking of eating you.

Hey, you eat me, that's one meal.

Let me be an alley cat,
and I'll help you find lots of meals.

I'm smart, and I can fly!

Whoa!

[Spot] Uh, sort of.

Say, maybe this dumb cluck could help us.

Yeah, yeah, with that heist on Luigi's,
yeah, huh?

Okay, egghead, you're our bestest buddy!

[Bruno] We'll show you
how us alley cats get a meal.

Right this way.

Oh, boy, this'll be great.

Let's see, I'll need a cool cat name.

Uh, Electra!

No, Cosmo.

No, uh, something with dignity.

Dr. Mildred Cat?

[screams]

Luigi's Kitchen.

Budda-bing!

The holy grail of alley cats.

You think youse could get us
into that open window

and let us in the back?

Sure!

[straining]

Bruno, what if this don't work?

We eat her.

And if it do work?

Um... We eat her.

This is what they call
a win-win situation.

[chuckles]

[straining]

Hey, fellas, I got us in!

Yeah, we'll give you your reward
at dinnertime.

Right, Roscoe?

Yeah, right, dinnertime.
[chuckles]

[man] Get outta here, you mangy cats!

You ain't gonna have no bigga night here!

[cats groaning]

[grunting]

But you, I could make
a nice tasty parmigiana out of you.

[squawks]

[groans]
Nobody's rolling me in breadcrumbs!

[gasping]

[squawking]

[Lucky] Hey, there she is!

Spot!

Wait, Spot!
It's us!

[band playing]

Where'd she go?

[elephant trumpets]

I hate a parade.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

-I never should have run away.
-[elephant] A runaway, huh?

Why don't you join the circus?
It's a classic move.

Run away and join the circus? Hmm.

It's almost corny enough to work.

Maybe all my troubles are finally over.

She just vanished.

Like food in front of Rolly.

Hey! You suppose she got scooped up
in that circus parade?

I saw a big top
when we passed the fairground.

Come on!

[Cruella] "Diversify," my accountant said.

"Buy a circus," he said.

Memo to myself:
sh**t accountant out of cannon.

[lion snarling]

Local ordinances protecting elephants.

Local ordinances protecting bears,
lions, tigers.

We need an animal
we can rough up a little.

That's what people want.

[Spot squawks]

[gulps, chuckles]

There are no ordinances
protecting circus chickens! Grab it!

[squawking]

You hear that, chicken?

You're gonna be a star.

[band plays fanfare]

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

welcome to Cirque de Vil,

an exciting blend of New Age
and Old Vaudeville.

And now the star of our show,

Zoroaster, the Wonder Chicken!

I'm a star!

[sniffs]

If only mom could see me now.

[Cruella] Zoroaster's first
bone-breaking performance

will be with the Bouncing Bocce Brothers!

There she is!

What have we done?

[Spot screaming]

We've gotta get her out of here.

[Lucky] Spot!

[squawking]
[Spot] What do you three want?

[screams]

We want you to come home!

[Spot] I'm not a dog, you said.

[screams]

Well, you're right. Now I'm a star!

[screams]

[gasping]

Horace, Jasper, get those blasted pups
out of my center ring!

[Jasper] Yes, ma'am.

[puppies yipping]

Where is Spot?

[Cruella] And now Zoroaster
will join the Flying Finn Family

on the trapeze!

[screams]

How do I tell her I don't have hands?

[acrobat screaming]

I'm just going to live my life
assuming there was a net there.

[grunts]

Okay, now's our chance.

[all gasp]

[drum roll plays]

Next up in the center ring,

it's Zoroaster, the lion tamer!

[Spot groaning]

[screams]

[snarling]

Nice kitty.

Sit. Sit.

Okay, I'll sit.

I can't bear to watch
the food chain in action.

[drum roll plays]

Spot, you don't have to do this!

You're our best friend, buddy, tail or no!

Spot, come back home!

What, and give up show biz?

[screams]

[spits]

[sighs]
As a performer, this foul is a fizzle.

Only one job left in Cirque de Vil.

Step right up
and see the fabulous furry freak show!

Starring Zoroaster, the chicken dog!

[Cruella]
It's not a chicken, it's not a dog!

It's not anything known to man!

-It barks...
[imitating barks]

It fetches...

It grovels pathetically at your feet
in a desperate plea for attention,

just like a real dog!

You heard the ringmaster, chicken dog.

Grovel!

Don't do it, Spot.

Oh...

[sighing]

No! Uh-uh!

[barking]

[Horace yelling, Spot barking]

You idiots, you're running from a chicken!

[Horace] Yeah... I knew that.

[Spot] Okay, I'm not a dog.

I'm just a chicken who acts like a dog!

And I wanna go home!

Lucky, Rolly, Cadpig!

Help!

That's our cue.

Rescue mode.

[Lucky] A little help?

Thanks!

[squawks]

[Jasper] Wait till I get my hands on you!

[squawks]

[screaming]

[puppies yipping]

[Cruella]
After them, you center ringworms!

Up there!

Get on my back.

I can't see.

Take that!

Look at you and your big ideas!

[screaming]

Oh. What now?

Well, I can fly.

Sort of.

Great! Grab the rope.

[Cadpig] She made it!

[groaning]

And we made it!

[all] Whee!

Thank you!

Any old time.

Now let's get you home
before you're grounded for life.

Baby, you're alive!

Oh!

Not if you squeeze me to death, Mom.

Thank you for bringing my baby home.

You pups are okay by me.

Hey, what are friends for?

[chuckles]
Guess I'm not in trouble anymore.

mother: Guess again!

You are grounded for a month,
if you're lucky!

[sigh]
Okay.

I guess running away from your troubles
doesn't solve them.

But I did realize one thing.

What's that?

I'd like you to respect me for what I am.

I'm not just a chicken.

I'm not just a dog.

I'm me, a chicken who acts like a dog.

[panting]

And I'm proud of it!

Oh, all right.

But would it hurt you to sit on an egg
every once in a while?

For me?

Oh, I'll never get used to this.

[theme music playing]