01x27 - White Elephant Sale

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

Look, Dinah. Aunt Carol sent me a trunk
full of old clothes from her attic.

Gee, I didn't know
the clothes would be this old.

There must be something I can wear.

-What do you think?
-[meows]

Not exactly me, huh?

Maybe I could wear this to school.

Right. If I wanted everyone
to laugh at me.

Gosh, I wonder why Aunt Carol
didn't throw this stuff out.

Of course, I know one thing
I'll never throw out: this mirror.

[mystical music playing]

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here
On the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme, and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

[Rabbit] I know you're here somewhere.

Wherever you are, I'll find you.

-[Red Queen] You?
-[yelps]

-Who's under there, Rabbit?
-Oh, uh, no-- No one, Your Majesty.

Uh, I-- I was looking for dust bunnies.

Dust bunnies?

I can tell you where to start.

Oh!

Oh.

Uh, the spring cleaning is almost done,
Your Majesty.

-Mm.
-Except for...

the storage closet.

Oh, no.

[groans] Oh, not that.

It's got to be done,
and you're the only one who can do it.

Why is that?

Because it's your storage closet,
Your Highness.

You wouldn't want me
to accidentally throw out

some of your favorite junk--

-Uh, treasures.
-No.

-No.
-Well, then...

Oh, very well.

-That's the stuff.
-[groans]

A queen's work is never done.

Oh, Rabbit.

Oh. I'm out of shape, Rabbit.
I'll never be able to go the distance.

Nonsense, Your Majesty.
Of course you will.

-Why, you're in great shape.
-Oh.

-Let's try our push-ups, shall we?
-All right.


-Ready?
-Yes.

Begin.

[both] One and two
and three and four and five--

-[panting]
-Oh.

[Rabbit blowing air]

[both] Six and seven and eight and--

Okay, that's enough, Rabbit. I'm ready.

[zany music playing]

[Rabbit wheezes]

[Rabbit panting]

Thank goodness I only do that once a year.

I've worked my finger to the bone.

Ye-- Ye-- Yes.

Well, anyway, Your Majesty,
there's only one item left.

The white elephant.

Oh, yuck.
That monstrosity gets two thumbs down.

Who had the incredible bad taste
to give me that?

Well, I-- I believe, uh, that is, uh,

you picked it out from the regal catalog.

Well-- Well,
I don't want to see it anymore.

Uh-- Uh, take all of this stuff
out of here.

Right away, Your Majesty.

I'll take it right out to the trash.

Trash? This isn't trash.
I paid good money for this, uh, stuff.

And it should be worth even more now.
It's been touched by royalty.

Well, then, we should have a sale,
Your Majesty, a garage sale.

But we don't have a garage.

Oh, you don't need a garage
to have a garage sale.

All you need is stuff.

And we've got plenty of that.

These items,
Your Highness, won't go to waste.

We can sell them all for goodness' sake.

[upbeat music playing]

♪ It'll be a lot of fun, I know
And it won't be rough ♪

♪ A garage sale we'll have
And all you need is stuff ♪

♪ We'll gather up these things
That you no longer want ♪

♪ And we'll organize a sale outside
Where we can flaunt them ♪

♪ It'll be a lot of fun, I know
And it won't be rough ♪

♪ A garage sale we'll have
And all you need is stuff ♪

♪ One man's junk
Is another man's treasure ♪

♪ You lose all your scrap
And bring others pleasure ♪

Your stuff will become the stuff of others

until they have a garage sale
of their own.

And then their stuff that was once
your stuff will find another home.

♪ It'll be a lot of fun, I know
And it won't be rough ♪

♪ A garage sale we'll have
And all you need is stuff ♪

♪ A garage sale we'll have
And all you need is ♪

Oh. [chuckles]

♪ Stuff ♪

Oh!


[upbeat music playing]

Oh, royal garage sale.

Oh, terrific. I'll take one.

I need a garage for my house.
But first let's see what else they've got.

So, Rabbit, how's it going?

So far, business is a little, uh... slow.

How much have we sold?

Oh, well, let's see.

[muttering indistinctly]

-Nothing.
-Nothing?!

That's not slow business.
That's no business.

Well, uh, Your Majesty, people like
to look around first, you know, browse.

Well, I'll make it against the law
to browse.

All lookie-loos are banners from my sale.

Oh, but, Your Majesty.

One of those lookie-loos
just might buy an item

because they see a use for it
that you don't.

-Oh.
-You know what they say:

"One person's trash
is another person's treasure."

-Oh, oh.
-Your Majesty, what's this?

-Oh, that old thing. That's a--
-[Rabbit clears throat]

-A treasure.
-Treasure?

Oh, yes, it's a magical lamp.

When you look at it,
beautiful images will come to mind.

Mm. Makes me think of ketchup.

When you hit the bottle real hard
and it goes all over your french fries.

Ketchup? French fries?
What a way to speak of a royal heirloom.

I'm afraid I can't sell you this,
if that's how you see it.

That's okay.
I wasn't planning on buying it.

-I don't know what I'd use it for.
-[Red Queen huffs]

Oh, here's your treasure. Go bury it.

Oh. Wait a minute, Your Majesty.
I have an idea.

-We'll lower the price on everything.
-Oh!

Stand back, Your Majesty.

You're liable to get crushed
by the crowd of customers.

Yes, yes, yes.

[Rabbit clears throat]

Attention Q-mart shoppers.

For the next 15 minutes
all items are half off.

[quirky music playing]

It's a stampede, all right, for the exit.
Everyone's leaving.

Oh! What's the use, Rabbit?

Nobody wants this junk.
And who could blame them?

[knocking on table]

Are you two still here?

Well, we were on our way out
when we spotted this white elephant.

-And?
-It's about the price.

Even at half off, it seems a little steep.

You're asking about the price?

You can't be serious about buying this.

You know, she's right.

If we were really serious, we wouldn't let
a little thing like the price stop us.

Here you go, Your Majesty.
Consider it sold.

-[gasps]
-[gasps]

Your Majesty, you made a sale!

How on earth did you do it?

Talent.

[sighs] Talent.

[humming]

[humming]

[Alice from outside]
Mr. Hatter! Mr. Hare! Are you up there?

No, Alice, we're not up there.
We're up here.

Alice is such a smart girl,
but sometimes she gets so confused.

Well, it's an easy mistake to make,

because if we weren't up here,
we'd be down there.

How true that is.

Did you buy anything
at the garage sale today?

No, but there sure were
a lot of white elephants there.

-There were?
-I thought we bought the only one.

Yes, yours was the only
actual white elephant at the garage sale.

The other things
could be called white elephants.

-Huh.
-Ah... [clears throat]

Poor girl's confused again.

No, you see,
people call something a "white elephant"

if they can't use it anymore
and they don't know what to do with it.

That means my attic
is full of other people's white elephants.

Indeed it is.

Why is that, Hatter?

Because it takes a person as smart as I

to turn a white elephant into gold.

[upbeat music playing]

♪ I am gifted with a vision
A vision hard to measure ♪

♪ Things that are meaningless to many ♪

♪ I can turn into a treasure ♪

[both] ♪ You say nobody wants it
It'll never be sold ♪

♪ Just give it to me
I turn white elephants into gold ♪

♪ Here are many examples you see ♪

♪ Wonderful works
That are transformed by me ♪

♪ A little of that and a little of this ♪

[both] ♪ What bored you once
Will now bring you bliss ♪

♪ You say nobody wants it
It'll never be sold ♪

♪ Just give it to me
I turn white elephants into gold ♪

♪ I must admit it to myself
I don't know the reason why ♪

♪ I confess it with great modesty ♪

♪ I'm a very brilliant guy ♪

-♪ He's a very brilliant guy ♪
-♪ I'm a very brilliant guy ♪

♪ He's a very brilliant guy ♪

[both laugh]

Ah. Well, the queen may have had no use
for this white elephant,

but now, thanks to the Hare and me,

we've recycled this useless object

and turned it into something special
for the Dormouse.

What is it?

-Observe.
-Oh.

Here we go.

[Mad Hatter & Hare speaking indistinctly]

-Mm-hm, mm-hm. Indeedy-doo. Indeedy--
-Uh-huh, uh-huh.

[both] Whoa! Whoa!

-How's the water temperature?
-I'll check.

Whoa.

What's the thermometer say?

Uh, it doesn't seem to say anything.

Hare.

-Oh, I'll just read it.
-Yeah.

-Oh, the water is just right.
-Oh.

A bathtub for the Dormouse?

Oh, something much better
than just a regular bathtub.

-I'm ready.
-[Mad Hatter] Ah.

Introducing the Dormouse Whirlpool Bath,

designed especially
to massage those mousy muscles.

Why would a little dormouse
have sore muscles?

Hey, Dormouse is no teapot potato.

He jogs hundreds of millimeters a day.

Okay, let her rip.

-Oh. Yeah.
-You got it?

All right. Okay. Ready to go.

Ah. This is delicious.

-Yeah.
-Uh-huh.

-Delightful.
-Yes.

[Mad Hatter & Hare shouting]

Are you all right, Dormouse?

Talk about being recycled.

-Oh, boy, that was close.
-Too close for comfort.

I'm afraid the queen's white elephant
has become a white elephant for me too.

It's time to whirl this pool
right into the trash.

-What?
-Oh, not you, Dormouse.

Well, there must be some way
to recycle it.

Let me try taking it to Mr. Caterpillar.

He may have an idea.

-Oh.
-Mm. All right.

[snoring]

Mr. Caterpillar, I have something for you.

Oh, why, Alice, you really...

uh, shouldn't have.

It's a white elephant
from the queen's garage sale.

But I thought you might be able
to think of a use for it

so I wouldn't have to throw it away.

How would I know what to do
with a white elephant?

Well, I just thought
someone smart enough would know.

I'm smart enough to know
when somebody's buttering me up.

But I'll give it a try.

[exotic music playing]

[Caterpillar humming]

Tools?

[humming]

A barbecue grill?

I knew you'd come up
with a use for the white elephant.

Yes, and my new improved design
sends all that awful smoke

through the elephant's trunk
and keeps it out of your face.

Wow, I guess
even elephants can be improved,

with a little imagination.

Indeed, and while our burgers cook,

let me read you a story
about another elephant.

[Caterpillar] Once there was
a very large elephant named Betty.

Uh, I said a very large elephant.

Being such a large elephant,
Betty was always hungry.

She was especially hungry
for her favorite food, peanuts.

It seemed
she could never get enough peanuts,

so Betty took the last of her money
and bought a tiny peanut bush.

She planted it in the ground

and waited patiently
for a huge crop of peanuts.

She dreamed of all the yummy dishes
she would make with her peanuts.

Peanut butter, peanut brittle,
peanut soup...

But then a very strange thing happened
to Betty's peanut bush.

It grew taller and taller like a tree.

Then yellow fruit started sprouting.

Betty realized she'd been sold
a lemon of a peanut tree.

[trumpets]

And Betty hated lemons.

Suddenly she got a brilliant idea.

She decided to open a lemonade stand.

It was a huge success.

With all the juicy profits,

she could afford to buy
all the peanuts she could hold.

So Betty learned that it is possible
to turn lemons into peanuts.

Betty made something she wanted
out of something she didn't want.

Just like we did.

Oh, my gosh. Look, Mr. Caterpillar.

There's no smoke
coming out of the elephant's trunk.

It must have stopped up.

Oh, my.

That smoke has to get out somehow,

and if it can't get out that way, then...

[coughing]

Alice,

I'm afraid this elephant
can be hazardous to your health.

[coughs]

-Dee, didn't you say you needed a trunk?
-Yeah, you know where I can find one?

There's one right here,
on the end of this elephant.

[laughing]

Very funny.

The kind of trunk I need
is the kind you use for packing clothes.

Oh, sorry.

Whoa, hold on minute.

This elephant isn't broken or anything.

Seems a shame to throw it out.

Well, if you're looking for any ideas
on how to use a white elephant,

I'm afraid I'm a bit dry right now.

-Then get a little rain on the brain.
-Rain on the brain?

Sure. Haven't you ever heard
of a brainstorm?

[hip-hop music playing]

♪ If a problem needs attention ♪

♪ For a burst of inspiration ♪

♪ To start the ideas formin' ♪

♪ You should try some brainstormin' ♪

[rapping] ♪ To find the perfect thought ♪

♪ It doesn't take a lot ♪

♪ When I make like a hurricane at sea ♪

♪ The answers always come to me ♪

♪ To really be creative ♪

♪ And let your juices flow ♪

♪ Try my simple suggestions ♪

♪ Put your memory banks on go ♪

♪ Buh-- Buh-- Buh-- Buh
Buh-- Buh-- Buh-- Brainstormin' ♪

♪ Buh-- Buh-- Buh-- Buh-- Brainstormin' ♪

♪ We could give it wheels
Paint it red, use it for a car ♪

♪ Put a block inside its belly
And call it Tweedle art ♪

♪ Or stick it in the garden
To scare away the crows ♪

♪ With a flashlight in its eyes
So every night it glows ♪

Whoo! We've got a lot of ideas,
but I don't think we have any bright ones.

Bright ones. That's it, Dum.

We could turn this elephant into a lamp.

That is a bright idea.

Ah?

[both chuckle]

-This lamp is terrific.
-A true original.

-Does it work?
-Does it work?

And if you walk away
and forget to turn it off...

Hmm. [sniffs]

...it turns itself off.

Hmm.

[both] Because an elephant never forgets.

Yes, that's quite a lamp.

But wait a minute.

Underneath that paint,

it looks to me like the white elephant
at the queen's garage sale.

Really? I doubt it.

We found it
in a trash can and fixed it up.

Oh, yes, you certainly fixed it.

Well, satisfy this cat's curiosity.

What are you going to do with it now?

Well, we could sell it,

though I doubt anyone is looking
for such an unusual lamp.

[purrs] I wouldn't be so sure.

"Wanted: One lamp in shape of an elephant.

Color: Black with purple lampshade.
Must turn off by itself.

Call 555-Duchess."

Brother, I think we have a sale.

to her royal collection
of [clears throat] fine lamps.

Wait a minute. Are the reporters
from the newspaper here yet?

-[Dee & Dum] Here we are, Your Majesty.
-Oh, good.

Make sure this makes the front page,
and get plenty of pictures.

[crowd gasps]

Hatter, isn't that the useless elephant
we bought at the queen's garage sale?

It can't be.
Our white elephant was a white elephant.

But it could have been painted.

Hmm. You know, she's right.

So, what you're saying is
someone painted the white elephant

so it wouldn't be
a white elephant anymore.

-Exactly.
-Hmm.

Are you two saying
that I used the queen's money

to buy back the queen's own rubbish?

Exactly. Isn't it wonderful
how recycling can work?

[gasps]

Your Majesty, don't you think
this masterpiece is cleverly conceived?

Yes, I do.
Come on, Dum, take some more pictures.

And when you write your story,
be sure to give the White Rabbit credit.

He made the deal
so I could own this royal treasure.

Oh, no.
I don't deserve any credit, none at all.

Oh, don't be so modest.

Wasn't it your idea
to have the garage sale?

To get rid of my old stuff
to make way for the new?

Well, yeah, yes. Uh...

I'm afraid so. But-- But-- But--

And though it cost a small fortune,

I am now the proud owner
of this unique lamp,

thanks to you.

Oh, it was nothing. Please, forget it.

We've been told that this lamp
was previously owned by a queen.

Oh, I'm certain of it.

And now once again, this royal treasure
is back in the hands of a queen

who will never let it go.

Don't you just love happy endings?

Oh, yes. You know what they say:
"What goes around comes around."

-Especially when you're recycling.
-How true that is.

[mystical music playing]

I guess I'd better be careful
what I throw out.

It might turn out to be something I want.

Well, Dinah, it looks as if you found
a good use for that old hat.

You know,
this would be great for Halloween.

I guess it's true what they say:

"One person's trash
is another person's treasure."

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme, and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪