01x30 - What Makes Rabbit Run

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

That sister of mine
makes me so mad sometimes.

I mean, just because she was lucky enough

to beat me at checkers a couple of times.

-[meows]
-Okay. So it was nine games in a row.

But once or twice, I almost won.

Well, who cares who wins, right?
The important thing is to have fun.

But she could've been
a better sport about it.

She didn't have to say
I wasn't much of an opponent.

I should've had her take that back.

I would have too.

If I had any idea what an opponent was.

Hm.

Maybe I can figure that out.

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here
On the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

"Queen's only"?

"Reserved for royalty."

"No common people on bridge"?

This is silly.

Why should I go all the way around
when I can walk straight over?

Hold it right there.

[chuckles]

Alice, you weren't thinking
of crossing the queen's bridge, were you?

Well, yes. Why has it been blocked off?

Because the queen ordered it.

Well, that's silly.
I've crossed that bridge a million times.

You have?

Gracious.
You must wear out a lot of shoes.

Oh, no. I don't mean I've really
crossed the bridge a million times.

I was just exaggerating on purpose.

To make a point.

I just meant I use the bridge a lot.

Oh! You used to use it a lot.

Someone tracked mud on the bridge,
and that mud got on the queen's shoes.

So from now on,
that bridge is for her use only.

Well, that doesn't seem fair.

-My feet aren't muddy.
-Well, if you've got a complaint,

you better hurry up
and write it down and put it in here.

I'm on my way to the queen now
with the royal suggestion box.

Suggestion box?

Yes.

Anyone with a suggestion or comment,
good or bad,

may write it down and put it in this box.

At the end of the week,
the queen reads them all.

Well, what kind of things do people say?

Oh...

Mainly about how wonderful the queen is.

How lovely her shoes are.

And how lucky we are
to have her as a ruler.

No one complains or criticizes?

Criticize the queen?
Certainly not. Why would I?

Maybe not you.
But what about all the others?

What others?

I thought anybody could use the box.

Oh, yes.
[stammers] Well, anyone can, I suppose.

It's just that no one ever has.

-Until today, that is.
-[rattling]

It does seem rather full, for once.

I wonder if the suggestions
are about the closing of the bridge.

Oh!

I certainly do hope not.

Up until now, the queen
has never had anything but compliments.

All from you?

[laughs] Ah...

Who else?

I just love Suggestion Box Day.

You'd be amazed at the nice things

all my subjects say about me. [laughs]

[dance music playing]

♪ The subjects of Wonderland ♪

♪ Love their queen ♪

♪ And they think I'm so divine ♪

♪ Their compliments and comments ♪

♪ Have everything ♪

♪ And everything's going just fine ♪

♪ I get so excited on Suggestion Box Day ♪

♪ All my subjects are special to me ♪

♪ I'm always so touched
By the nice things they say ♪

♪ And they say them so generously ♪

♪ The people of Wonderland ♪

♪ Love their queen ♪

♪ And they think I'm so refined ♪

♪ I love to hear
All the good news that they bring ♪

♪ And their compliments
Are always too kind ♪

♪ I get so excited on Suggestion Box Day ♪

♪ They're full of such wonderful things ♪

♪ I love to read
All the nice things that they say ♪

♪ And I feel as though I have wings ♪

♪ The subjects of Wonderland ♪

♪ Love their queen ♪

♪ And they think I'm so divine ♪

[laughing]

Now, let's read the first happy comment.

Ahem. "Dear Your Majesty.

I think you are wrong
for banning us from crossing the bridge.

You should open it again."

This is an outrage.

Someone has put a suggestion
in my suggestion box.

Oh! Uh, not me.

It must be a mistake.

-Here try again.
-All right.

"Dear Your Majesty.

And another thing,
your decree about no more wading

in the Wonderland pond is all wet."

What? How dare they.

They banned people
from wading in the pond?

Yes. It was wading in the pond

which led to tracking
muddy footprints on the bridge,

which led to my getting mud on my shoes.

-I won't have it.
-Here. Read another one.

I'm sure not all the comments
are criticisms.

Oh, okay.

"Dear Your Majesty.

And as long as we're on the subject,
the bridge could use a new coat of paint"?

Oh, this is an outrage.

Oh! [grumbling] Oh!

I don't have to listen
to a bunch of silly complaints.

Isn't that's the idea of a suggestion box?

Oh, when you're the queen,
you learn to live with grumpy subjects.

Why, I'll bet the queen where you live

has to put up
with complaining like this all the time.

Actually, we don't have a queen.

We elect our leaders.

Elect? What's that?

Well, in an election,
people vote for the person they want.

Whoever gets the most votes wins.

Oh, that has nothing to do with me.
Queens are not elected.

They just, uh, are.

And it's a good thing too.
With all the complaints you're getting,

you're not exactly the most popular--

[gasps]

Yes, Rabbit?
Are you saying if we did have an election,

I wouldn't get enough votes to win?

Oh, no. No, no, Your Majesty. No.

I'd vote for you.
Even if no one else would. [gasps]

I'll have you know I'm very popular.

In fact, I'll prove it.

I hereby decree
that there will be a Wonderland election,

in which I shall run for office.

But your office is just down the hall.
Why run when it's such a short walk?

Oh, no. To run for office
means to try and win the election.

Oh, yes. I knew that.

Ahem. But isn't it a bit risky
to run for office?

What's risky about it?
I'm the only they can vote for.

Well, if you're the only one running,

then there's no contest.

Yes. Yes, for it to be a real election,
you need an opponent.

Someone needs to run against you.

Against me?

I'm afraid so.

Oh.

This election business,
it's certainly a lot of bother.

Well, all right.

Rabbit, you be my opponent.

Me?

Oh, no, Your Majesty.
No. I'd make a terrible queen.

No, I don't know
the first thing about ruling.

-Besides, red isn't really my color.
-Oh, you're not going to win, silly.

The whole point of this election

-is to prove how popular I am.
-But--

All you have to do is run against me,

lose, and then we can get on
about our business.

But I'd really rather not.

I've made my decision.

-Go inform the rest of my subjects.
-[stammers] Yes, Your Majesty.

Oh, carrot sticks.

-Hi, Rabbit. How's it going over there?
-Oh, fine. Um...

Actually,
I wanted to talk to you two about--

Oh. Let's go around.

Here. We'll go back.

Hold it. This isn't working.

Rabbit, just stay where you are.

I wish the queen
did not close this bridge.

You're not the only one.
Everybody in Wonderland

-has been complaining about it.
-Not everyone.

What are you talking about, Cat?

Just this, bunny.

There's more than one way...

to cross a bridge.

[cackles]

We're not all like the Cat. Some of us
have to keep our feet on the ground.

Can't you talk to the queen
and get her to open the bridge?

Well, I could talk to her
after the election.

What election?

Oh. Um...

The queen is running
for queen of Wonderland.

Uh, Rabbit, has anyone told her
that she already is queen of Wonderland?

She knows that already. She just wants
to prove that even if she weren't queen,

she's popular enough to be elected.

Now you're out
trying to get everyone to vote for her.

No. Now I'm out telling everyone
I'm running against her.

-You?
-Running for queen?

If you must know,

I'm only doing this
because the queen ordered it.

And if I did win,
which I won't, I wouldn't be queen.

I'd be king.

Yes, of course, Your Majesty.

[laughing]

Very funny. This whole election business

makes me terribly uncomfortable.

I haven't a chance of winning,

but I feel very funny
being the queen's opponent.

We understand, Rabbit.

-You do?
-Sure.

And I think we can help.

All you need
is somebody to manage your campaign.

-My what?
-Your campaign.

Everything you do
to try to win the election.

So as your campaign managers,

we're gonna help you run.

[funk music playing]

♪ Rabbit, you are more than you may know ♪

♪ Rabbit, you've got what it takes ♪

♪ To make a campaign go ♪

♪ Go ♪

♪ Well, how about
It's time for a change? ♪

♪ For the new face on the ranks ♪

♪ We'll get it, set it and done ♪

♪ Because we're helping Rabbit run ♪

♪ You hear what I'm saying? ♪

♪ Helping Rabbit run ♪

♪ How about, "A bunny for the people"? ♪

♪ Or, "A bunny for the masses" ♪

♪ If anyone can't see that slogan ♪

♪ They must need glasses ♪

♪ You're what Wonderland needs ♪

♪ If the bunny succeeds ♪

♪ We'll get it said and done
Because we're helping Rabbit run ♪

♪ How about you, Dee? ♪

♪ Helping Rabbit run ♪

♪ I'm with you, Dum ♪

♪ Helping Rabbit run ♪

♪ What you waiting for? ♪

♪ Run, Rabbit, run ♪

Well, gee, I don't know.

I don't want to do too good a job
running against the queen.

It might make her angry.

-What are you worried about?
-We're in this for the fun of it.

And besides, you're just doing
what the queen told you to do.

[gasping]

Oh!

"Vote Rabbit"?

"A bunny for the people"?

"It's time for a change."

-Time for a change?
-What's wrong, Your Majesty?

-Oh! Hm!
-Oh...

Gee. It looks like Mr. Rabbit
is pretty serious about this campaign.

Serious? I'll show him serious.

Rabbit.

All right. At 2 o'clock,
be in the Mushroom Forest

to have your picture taken
with Caterpillar.

And at 2:30, you're making a speech

in front
of the Royal Carrot Growers Society.

[cell phone ringing]

-He--
-Rabbit campaign headquarters.

Remember to vote Rabbit.

-How may I help you?
-What? Who is this?

Tweedle Dum. My brother and I
are campaign managers for the Rabbit.

Let me talk to the Rabbit.

Sorry, Your Majesty, the Rabbit
can't come to the phone right now.

-What? Why not?
-We're busy helping him plan his campaign.

May I have him call you back?

Oh, never mind.

Oh!

Can you believe it?
The Tweedles are working for the Rabbit.

As his campaign managers.

Maybe you should get
a campaign manager too.

Yes. Excellent idea, Alice.

I'll fight fire with fire, as they say.

Now, who shall I choose?
Cat's never around when you need him.

The Caterpillar's smart,
but he moves too slowly.

Wait.

How about you, Alice?

I'm afraid I don't know much
about campaign managing, Your Majesty.

Oh, but there isn't anyone else.

Well, except...

-The Hatter and the Hare.
-The Hatter and the Hare.

Color is good, but something's missing.

-The message is to the point.
-It is.

-Oh, Your Majesty. Go, go, go.
-Oh, oh!

Ahem. We are indeed honored

that when you decided
you needed campaign managers...

You thought of us first.

Yes. Well, you understand
this is a very important job.

Oh, don't worry, Your Majesty.

You're in good hands.

After all,
we are your most loyal subjects.

-How true that is.
-Hm.

-Oh, really?
-Oh!

A "vote Rabbit" pot holder.
Where did that come from?

Don't blame me.

I'm sure I don't know.

Well, now back to planning your campaign.

First, you need a campaign slogan.

-What do you mean?
-Oh, it's a saying that tells everyone

-why they should vote for you, like, uh...
-Uh...

Oh!

-Vote for the queen, she's not that mean.
-I love it.

-I hate it.
-We'll change it.

Oh, I'm telling you, Your Majesty,
this campaign is going to be big.

Balloons, posters, TV commercials.

Speeches, parades, news conferences.

-Tea parties.
-That sounds like a lot of work.

That's what an election campaign
is all about.

You've gotta get out there
and shake a few hands.

[show tune music playing]

♪ You've gotta shake a few hands ♪

♪ You've gotta kiss a few babies ♪

♪ Address all the issues ♪

♪ But answer with maybes ♪

♪ Wave to the crowd ♪

♪ Smile like you mean it ♪

♪ And before you know
You'll be elected the queen ♪

♪ It may not be easy
But you've got what it takes ♪

♪ And you're used to the job
Learn from your mistakes ♪

♪ Wha ♪

♪ Not that you've made any ♪

♪ No, quite the contrary ♪

♪ You're a shoo-in, Your Highness ♪

♪ We all love you very, very much ♪

♪ Oh, yes, indeed, you know we do ♪

-♪ Especially me ♪
-♪ And me too ♪

♪ But still to win the voters
Here's what you must do ♪

♪ You've gotta shake a few hands ♪

♪ You've gotta kiss a few babies ♪

♪ Address all the issues ♪

♪ But answer with maybes ♪

♪ Wave to the crowd ♪

♪ Smile like you mean it ♪

♪ And before you know
You'll be elected the queen ♪

♪ Read our lips ♪

♪ You'll be elected the queen ♪

♪ Yes, sir ♪

♪ You'll be elected the queen ♪

♪ Trust us ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you the next queen of Wonderland...

The queen of Wonderland.

Four more years. Four more years.

-Brava.
-Brava.

[groans]

A-ha!

There you are.

Yes, here I am.

And there I am too.

And there, and there, and there.

I can't seem to get away from myself
no matter where I go.

Nothing personal,

but having your picture
all over my mushrooms

doesn't exactly thrill me either.

What is the purpose
of this ridiculous election anyway?

Oh, the queen's just doing it
to prove how popular she is.

If she wants to be popular,
she should start by reopening the bridge

and then by removing the ban
on wading in the Wonderland pond.

You like wading in the pond?

Of course. Caterpillar likes
to dip his tootsies from time to time.

[stammers] Yes.
Well, if it were up to, you could.

Really?

Perhaps I should vote for you
in the election.

[gasps] Oh, no. Certainly not.

The whole point of this election
was for the queen to win.

Good heavens,
I was opposed to being her opposition.

But she insisted.
And you know how the queen

won't stand for anyone to oppose her.

So now I'm her opponent.

If you say so.

But now that I think about it,

your reluctance to run
reminds me of a story.

"Once there was a young lion named Elton.

Elton was special
because his father, King George,

was the king of beasts.

Everyone expected Elton
to follow in his father's footsteps.

But Elton didn't really want
to be the next king.

Elton wanted to play the piano.
And he was very good at it.

All the beasts loved
to listen to Elton play the piano.

And Elton loved to play.

Then one day,
King George decided to retire.

It was time for Elton
to take his place on the throne.

Elton was not very good at being king.

Worst of all,
Elton had no time to play the piano.

Hi.

Fortunately, King George was very wise.

He could see
that Elton did not want to be king.

'I want you to be happy, my son,'
said King George.

'Go back to playing the piano.'

'Who will rule the kingdom?' asked Elton.

'I've decided to let each beast
take a turn at being king,'

his father replied.

So everyone was happy.

The kingdom was ruled
by a bunch of beasts,

King George was free to retire,

and lucky Elton could play the piano
to his heart's content."

[playing rock music]

Good story.

I don't think I'm any better suited
to be king than Elton was.

Rabbit,
we've been looking all over for you.

-We've got great news.
-You do? Did the queen change her mind?

-Is the election canceled?
-No, man.

Listen up.
You have challenged the queen to a debate.

-I have?
-That's right. Isn't that great?

Oh, certainly.

What's a debate?

A debate
is when the candidates in an election,

such as you and the queen,

argue with each other
about which one should be elected.

-Thank you.
-Precisely.

And the best news
is this debate is gonna be on TV

all over Wonderland.

[dramatic music playing]

I hope he doesn't do that
when the cameras are on him.

[fanfare music playing]

Hello, Wonderland.

I'm Wayne Fontaine,
and this is Ask the Candidates.

This is the debate
between our two distinguished candidates.

The Queen of Hearts...

-[fanfare playing]
-[audience applauding]

and her opponent, the White Rabbit.

-[quirky music playing]
-[audience applauding]

Now, this is how our debate works.
Each candidate gives an opening statement,

and then we go to the phones
so you can ask the candidates.

-Your Majesty, you may go first.
-Thank you, Wayne.

I'd just like to say
that a vote for me is a smart thing to do.

If you know what's good for you.

Uh, Rabbit.

I would like to say that, uh...

That if I'm elected,
I don't really know what I'll do

since none of this was any of my idea.

-[audience applauding]
-Now let's go to the phones.

Caller number one, ask the candidates.

[woman] I'd like to ask...

can either candidate
recommend a good Chinese restaurant?

Chinese restaurant? What does that
have to do with anything?

We'll take that as a no, Your Majesty.

-Uh, Rabbit?
-Actually, there's a lovely little place

on the corner of Wonderland Way
and Mock Turtle Avenue.

-Their Cantonese carrots are delicious.
-[audience applauding]

Caller number two, ask the candidates.

[man 1] Yes. I've got a real problem
with weeds in my garden.

Any suggestions?

Weeds in his garden?

What kind of question is that
for an election debate?

Actually, caller,
I find that a good hoeing once a week

really does help keep the weeds down.

-Oh!
-[audience applauding]

It's true.

So far, I'd score this debate

Rabbit two, queen nothing.

[laughing]

Caller number three, ask the candidates.

[man 2] Uh, yeah. Am I on the air?
Oh. Um...

Boy. Hi, Wayne.

Um, my question is if they were elected,

what would each candidate
change about Wonderland?

Oh! Finally, a real question. [laughs]

If-- I mean when I'm elected,

I wouldn't change anything
about Wonderland.

After all, I'm doing a great job already.

[audience applauding]

Well, uh, I'd, uh...

I'd reopen the bridge
for all to use again.

And I'd allow wading once again
in the Wonderland pond.

Oh, yes, and I'd, uh, give the bridge
a new coat of paint.

[audience applauding and cheering]

Hm. I like what the Rabbit has to say.

-I think I'll vote for him.
-Me too.

You were working for the queen.

How are you going to explain this to her?

Eh, we'll cross that bridge
when we come to it.

Especially
once the Rabbit opens it up again.

Ah! Righty-roo. Yeah.

Wait, wait.
I wasn't finished answering yet.

Uh, go ahead, Your Majesty.

What I meant was, uh... [stammering]

I wouldn't change a thing
about Wonderland,

except all the stuff the Rabbit just said.

[audience applauding]

You mean it? You would open up
the bridge and the pond again?

Of course.

Well, if you would do that,
then everyone will vote for you.

If everyone votes for you, then there's
no reason for my running against you.

I hereby resign from this election.

-You heard it here first, folks.
-[audience applauding]

The Rabbit is no longer running.

That's right, Your Majesty.

-You've got my vote.
-Oh, yes.

[upbeat music playing]

♪ I'm sure there will be no objection ♪

♪ To my self-ejection from this election ♪

♪ In conclusion to this confusion ♪

♪ Please accept this humble suggestion ♪

♪ After weighing up all of the issues ♪

♪ After sizing up all of our needs ♪

♪ Here's my final campaign quote ♪

♪ Please take note ♪

♪ You've got my vote ♪

♪ Yes, indeed ♪

[coughing]

♪ I hereby, henceforth
Heretofore, and herewithall ♪

♪ Heartily announce my withdrawal ♪

♪ Whereas furthermore, therefore ♪

♪ Wherefore and what for ♪

♪ I'm running against you no more ♪

♪ After weighing up all of the issues ♪

♪ After sizing up all of our needs ♪

♪ Here's my final campaign quote ♪

♪ Please take note ♪

♪ You've got my vote ♪

♪ Yes, indeed ♪

-There's no debate about one thing.
-What's that?

In this election, we're all winners.

[laughing and chattering]

Congratulations, Hatter.
I knew we'd come through.

Dinah, if my sister wants
a good opponent to play checkers against,

that's what she'll get.
I'm going to practice 20 hours a day

until I'm the best opponent
she's ever seen.

Okay, not 20 hours.
That's a slight exaggeration.

About ten hours.

Okay, one hour. After all,
I need some time to play with you.

[giggles]

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪