02x02 - Dumb Luck/Nobody Loves Grim

[bunniefuu]

- [Laughter]

- It is not enough
to succeed.

Others must fail.

- Wanna see me make
a chocolate-vanilla swirl?

Ta da!

- Uhh!

One order of fries
for the half-wit.

- French fries! Yum!

Needs salt.

Whoops! Hee hee!

Greasy fingers!

Hee hee!

- You'd better be throwing salt
over your shoulder now

Before it's too late, mon.

- Why should i?

- Spilling salt
brings bad luck.

Everybody knows that.

The only way
to restore your luck,

Is to quickly take
a pinch of salt

And throw it
over your left shoulder.

- Holy crud!

[Laughs]

Salt!

- [People sneezing]

- And stay out!

- Sheesh! Who clammed
in his chowder?

What did I do?

{\An5}- you didn't throw salt
over your shoulder
like I told you,

So you had bad luck.

- Wow! Science is great!

- I'm telling you, billy,

You've got to take steps

To protect yourself
from bad luck.

Is there really anything
to this luck thing, grim?

- Well, of course, mandy.

How can you doubt thousands
of years of superstition?

But mostly, I just want to mess
with billy's head.

Check this out.
Hey, billy!

Oh, billy!

Don't step on a crack,

Or you'll break
your mama's back.

- [Gasps]
mama!

Does that mean
any crack, grim?

- That's right, billy.

- [Howls]

- Black cat! Aah!

Whew.

[Gasps]

- W-whoa! Look out below!

- [Screams]

- You busted a mirror,
that's what!

- Yeah, that's 7 years bad luck,
pipsqueak.

- [Screaming]

- No!

Nooo!

- What are you doing, billy?

- Looking for 4-leaf clovers.

I figure I got about 4,000 years
of bad luck coming,

So I need all the lucky charms
I can find.

Check it out.

I got garlic bulbs,
rabbits' feet,

Horseshoes,
my mom's lucky pumps,

And dad's lucky boxers.

- Won't your mom
miss her shoes?

- Nah, she won't be walking
for a while.

She hurt her back. Whoa!

Whoa!

Hey, look!

A 4-leaf clover!

This must be my lucky day!

[Grunting]

I got it!

Huh? It's a prairie dog.

A whole lot of prairie dogs!

- Better stay away
from them, billy.

{\An5}prairie dogs take down
more people each year
than great white sharks.

- N-nice doggies.

- [Prairie dogs chomping]

- [Meows]

- Aah!

- I'm passing out
your report cards, class.

Be sure to show this
to your parents.

That goes for everyone.

- I got 3 "fines"
and two "dandies".

Sweet!
[Gasps]

- And she forgot
to carry the 2. Ha!

Oh, billy, there's fuzz
on your shirt.

- Thanks, judy.

{\An5}i just gotta change
my luck before something
terrible happens.

- [Laughter]

- Looks like my run
of bad luck is over!

I'm 60 points
from the all-time high score!

Mandy, fetch the camera.

I want to remember
this moment.

- But you just took out 3 cars
and a traffic cop.

- Duh. 20 Points to go!

Don't say anything.

This day is finally over.

Woo-hoo!

[Snoring]

[Yawns]

This could be my lucky day!

- [Howls]

- Milkshakes, no!

{\An5}- billy seems to be
having an unusual amount
of bad luck lately.

- Maybe he caught something.

- Hmm... [Thunder]

- Uhh! That's twice.

What's the chances?

[Beeping]

- Just as I suspected.

His brain is caught
in a bad juju vortex,

And his good luck matrix
is in the red.

This can only mean one thing.

Catastrophe snail!

- Catastrophe snail?

- Right in your noodle.

- But how did it get there?

- It must have been
in that restaurant

When billy spilled the salt.

{\An5}i told him to throw salt
over his shoulder
to prevent bad luck.

But billy panicked.

He reached for the salt,
but he grabbed the pepper.

{\An5}that's when the snail
must have appeared
on billy's shoulder.

Salt would've fizzled
that slime ball,

But billy threw pepper.

- Ah-choo! Ah-choo!

- By this time,
the whole place is sneezing,

So that snail slipped
right into billy's ear

With nobody noticing
a thing.

Once a catastrophe snail
gets in your head,

He plugs his shell
right into your brain.

And once he's plugged in, mon,

He'll be reprogramming
your mind

To have nothing
but bad luck only.

Dig it?

- I love my job.

- Yeah, mon.

If we don't put it out soon,

I think it's fatal.

- He's messing with my head!

Aah!

- It's over, snail bait.

- Now what?

[Speaking indistinctly]

- You're infected
with snail, billy,

And we're gonna pull it out.

- Like heck you are.

- Hold still, billy.
We're not going to hurt you.

- [Hissing]

- W-whoops. I must have hit
the wrong key.

- He's getting away.

- Whoa! Lucky catch!

My luck must be changing!

- Ha ha! Right.
From bad to worse. Ha ha ha!

- B-b-bees!

- [Laughing]

- It's billy,
the boy beehive.

[Laughing]

I love it!

- Grim, you've
got to help billy.

- Tell 'em
to buzz off, billy.

They'll listen. Ha ha ha!

I'd love to help,

But it's none of my beeswax.
Ha ha ha!

- Grim.

- You mean now?

Hang on, billy.

- Wow! This must be
my lucky day.

Hey, I could've been k*lled.
That's lucky, right?

- Lucky? Who's messing
with my mojo?

Well, luck has a funny way
of changing, cupcake.

- [Barking, snarling]

- Nice doggies.

- It would be lucky
if we caught him.

That's why that snail
won't let us do it.

- So what if we make it unlucky
for us to catch him.

- If we catch you, billy,

We're gonna pinch you
till you cry.

- [Hissing]

- I think you can do better
than that.

- You'll owe me your allowance
for the next 20 years.

- I'll throw in
a wet willie.

- A wet willie? Ew!

- A wet willie!

Now, that would be unlucky.

- I think it worked.
Here he comes. Grab him!

- Quit it! Stop pinching!
Ooh, yeah! Hey!

- That should hold him.

- Go ahead, t*rture me,
take my allowance.

You'll never get me to sing.

- Administer the wet willie.

- Right.

- ♪ Jelly b*aner ♪ jelly b*aner

♪ Jelly b*aner, la la aah! Uh!

[Screams]

- Wet willie! Rotten luck!

Ha ha ha! Oh!

- There's our snail,

The source
of billy's bad luck.

- [Screams]

This is definitely
not my lucky day.

[Laughing]

- Escargot.

Mmm. C'est magnifique.

- I'm free!

Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you!

- You owe me 20 years
of allowance, you toad.

- Who cares? I'm cured!

Ooh, let's celebrate
with ice cream.

Come on, you guys.

I'm getting
a chocolate-vanilla swirl

With whipped cream
and sprinkles

And ketchup and... Uh! Ooh...

Oh, no.
I gots the bad luck again!

Waah!

- Ha ha ha!

No, no, child.

That's not bad luck.

You're just stupid.

[Laughing]

[Glass breaks, women scream]

- [Snoring]

- [Laughing]

- Billy, get grim.
We're leaving.

- Aw, but we just got here.

- I don't tan, billy.

I burn.

The beach is covered
in jellyfish

And discarded bandages.

There's sand in my ears...

And this stupid puppy
won't let go of my swimsuit.

You've got 30 seconds
to find grim, stupid.

- Aah!

Grim! Grim!

- Billy, hurry up.

- Aha!

Come on, lazy bones.

Time to go.

[Grunts]

Grim, where's
the rest of you?

Uh-oh.

- Billy, we are leaving.

- Ok. I'm coming.
I'm coming!

- [Snoring]

[Beeping]

- Come on, tif.

I bet we'll find pirate gold
with this thing.

- Or some more diamonds
for my collection.

- Ooh! Ooh! I think
we found something.

Oh!

- Whoa!
- Whoa!

[Both talking at once]

- What is it,
sugar lumpkins?

- We found a new friend!

Can we keep him?
Please! Please!

- Bit of a skinny chap,
isn't he?

- Mm. And I have got to find out
who does his lipo.

- You look like you could use
some rest and fattening up.

Care to join us
at the villa?

- Yay!
- Yay!

- [Snoring]

[Yawns]

Ah, nothing like a nice snooze
in the sun.

Aah!

I demand to know what you did
with my body!

- Oh, I lost it forever,

So I stuck your head
on mandy's baby wetsy doll.

That's using the old noggin,
right?

- Oh! How did I ever end up
with you two buffoons?

How I despise my wretched,
despicable, rotten life!

- Quit your griping, grim.

{\An4}if you'd just shut up,
we'll help you find
your stupid body.

- [Crying]

Will you change
my diaper first?

- Yay!

- We're gonna have
such a good time!

- [Chomping]

[Burps]

- Mm. What a man.

- Isn't that mrs. Rich?

- Yes, but who
is her new friend?

- Must be one
of the new male models.

Woo-hoo! Hey, twiggy!

- But I was sure my body
was right here.

Oh! What could be happening
to it?

Without my body,
I'm powerless.

Nothing more than
a talking kickball.

- Hmm...
- Hmm...

- Ok, guys,
I found the ball.

- What!

No, no, I am not
your bowling ball,

You stupid... Aah!

- Stee-rike, here we come!

- Grim!

Come here,
you mindless idiot.

- Here, body, body, body!

- [Panting]
kids!

Wait up!

- There.
Such a beautiful face.

- Oh, there you are, grim.

Come on.
Stop dragging your feet.

- Oh, this sad cowboy tune

Really speaks
to me achy-breaky heart.

- Hey, joe, you ought to
clean up them spittoons.

They's looking
a little moldy.

- Oh, if I had me hands,
you'd be sorry.

If I'm suffering this much,

I can only imagine the torment
me body must be enduring.

[Music playing]

- Gentlemen,
after an exhaustive analysis

Of the sand and calcium deposits
we found at the beach,

I regret to say
our evidence is...

Inconclusive.

- Well, I did find
something else at the beach.

- You holding out
on me punk?

- Voila!

It's some kind
of a weird egg.

Maybe a dinosaur egg
or a martian egg or...

Ooh! Oh! Oh, no! I got it!

It's grim's egg!

His skeleton is laying eggs,

And he's gonna be a daddy.

- Don't be ridiculous.

- Gimme that.

This is a polo ball, doofus.

And it's monogrammed
with the initials

Of one of the most prestigious
families in endsville.

Hmm.... - [Laughter, chattering]

- Driver, stop.

- Body, there you are!

Oh, how I've missed you!

But... Why?

What's this?

But was life
really so bad before?

- Gosh, we're sorry, grim.

- Speak for yourself.
Let's go.

- Allow me to introduce
our new-found family friend,

Mr. Bony parts.

- Charmed I'm sure.

{\An5}your name reminds me
of a rib-tickling joke
I heard just the other day.

Ha ha! Just ribbing you.

- [Murmuring]

- Oh, my gosh!

It's a prehistoric banker!

- Everyone, panic!

- [Grumbles]

- [Screaming]

- Grim, you and your body
are back together!

- Why, so I am!

Yippee! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

I feel so much better.

Although I seem to have put on
a little weight.

Oh, thank you for all your help,
little ones.

Oh, I want to hug everybody,

And I mean every... - [Screaming]

- See? Just like
I told you, mandy.

{\An4}grim's gonna have
hundreds and hundreds
of little bony babies!

- Don't be ridiculous.

- [Panting]

[Whistles]

- [Barking]

- Oh, don't worry, grim.

I know crochet.

I'll knit booties
for all your babies.

Don't worry, little buddy.
I brought a spare.

Oh, there we go!

Yeah, let it all out.

Oh, yeah,
that's a good baby.

Ooh, somebody made a stinky!

[Backward voice]