01x05 - Grim in Love/Love Is Evol Spelled Backwards/Crushed

[bunniefuu]

[Laughing]

Can you feel the love?

[Spit]

Ok, grim.
All finished.

I'm leaving.

[Whistles]

Oh, come on.

Everybody loves
the beach.

I don't
love anything.

Excuse me.
Are you deceased?

You suck the life
right out of me.

I'm malaria.

They call me grim.

[Kiss]

Let us leave
this dreadful place.

Grim, where did
you get that
wax dummy?

This ought to
be interesting.

[Wolves howling]

I'm queen
of the underworld!

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

What do you mean,
you can tell when
someone fakes?

Trust me. I know.

[Malaria groans]

Are you ok?

Getting dark... Ooh...
[Choking] aaah!

[Gasp]
[cough]

Aaah!

[Gasping
and coughing]

Aaah.

[Choking
and coughing]

[Gasp]

[Choke]

Aaah!

[Glass breaks]

[Gasp]

I didn't do it.

[Humming]

[Gasp]

[Gasp]

Ooh, you busted
me bagpipes.

[Both laugh]

Now, this
time, billy,

When I throw
the frisbee,
you catch it.

Yeah-yeah-yeah-
yeah-yeah-yeah-
yeah-yeah-yeah.

Argh.

Grim?

In the flesh.
Ha ha ha ha ha.

So, I take it
your date went well?

I'm king of
the underworld.

Have you told her
you're not human yet?

No.

You realize once you
tell her, she won't be
so keen on you.

She'll be ok with
a little weeping.

Prove it.
Tell her tonight.

Fine. I will.

And she'll still
love me... I hope.

Malaria: oh,
tombstone booths.

And deliciously
morbid.

Yes, perfectly
spooky.

What's with
the long face?

The truth is...

Announcer: ladies and gentlemen.

Time for a really big
dance contest.

[Snort]

Now, welcome contestants.

That's us!

[Crowd chattering]

[Rock music playing]

Both: ooh!

Ahhh!

[Growl]

[Gasp]

Y-you're real,
grim reaper?
[Gasp]

I am.

Aaah!

Ugh, ugh, ugh,
ugh, ugh.

[Gasp]
aaah!

[Gasp]

Aaah!

He-he's... He's...

The gr-gr-grim... Grim...
Rea-rea-reaper!

Call me.

Malaria: aaah!

[Indistinct chatter]

Oh!

[All suddenly whispering]

Uh, mandy?

What, irwin?

W-w-would you go
to the dance with me?

Hmm.

The offering
of the flower...

A courtship ritual
invented to inspire

Love, caring,
and togetherness.

What's wrong
with you?

You... Me... The dance...

T-t-together?

Oh. The answer... Nope.

Romance is for
the weak-minded.

Billy: new friend
coming through!

New friend
coming through!

Out of the way!
One side!

New friend
right here.

Hi, guys.
This is my
new friend.

[Gasp]

He hasn't told me
his name yet.
Right, pal?

[Slowly] right.
This is irwin.

Hi.

Billy: and mandy.

[Heartbeat pounding]

Ahhhhhh.

[Birds chirping]

[Soft laughter]

Mandy, say hello.

[Bleating]

Cool!
Cool!

What's his name, again?

Well, you've gotta
call him something.

Hmm.

Uh...

[Sputtering]

Piff. We'll
call him piff.

Piff?

Piff.

Woman: hi, mandy.

So, what seems to be
the problem?

This.

[Heartbeat pounding]

[Birds chirping]

[Harps playing]

Why, mandy.

Li'l pumpkin,
you're in love!

That's ridiculous.

Oh, mandy, your heart
is speaking to you.

Follow it, dear child,

For it is the only road
to true happiness.

Voices: ♪ the heart

[Glass breaks]

The heart.

Of course.

Hiya, grim.

This is my
new friend.

And what is
your name?

Come on, you can
tell old grim.
I won't bite.

Ha ha ha! Much.

He's piff!

[Billy laughing]

I'll get you
for this, piff!

I want you
to cut it out.

But he started it.

Not that. My heart.

I want you
to cut out my heart.

That, I can do.

So, mandy, to whom
do I owe the honor

Of cutting out
your heart?

I'm in love with
billy's stupid
new friend.

Piff?!

Sit tight.
I know a better way.

When I'm through
with you, you won't
recognize yourself...

And neither will he.

As long as
I can hate again.

Oh, you'll hate, all right.
You'll hate.

Here you go, piff.
It's your favorite.

It's got mustard.
Mmm.

[Slowly]
come on. Mustard.

Mmm. That hits
the spot, eh, piffy?

Mandy: hello, boys.

What's on the menu?

Piff.

[Heartbeat pounding]

[Gulp]

[Whimpering]

Well?

Would you go to
the dance with me, eh?

[Glass breaks]

Eh?

[Heartbeat racing]

[Heartbeat stops]

No.

Go, piff!

[Crash]

Like I said,
romance is for
the weak-minded.

Billy: it's
valentine's day.

It's valentine's
day, it's
valentine's day.

Guess what today is.

Um... Valentine's day?

No. It's
valentine's day!

Today is the day that
lovers send each other
romantic cards

That say,
"I love you."

Gross.

One might say that
you lose your heads

In the heat
of passion.

Ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha!

Man:
well, billy, it's
valentine's day,

So we're off for
a romantic weekend.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Hey, let's go to
dynobanoidland.

Uh, what I mean is,
just the two of us

Are off for
a romantic weekend.

Tough luck, mama.
Daddy and I are
off to dynobanoidland.

I think what
your father
means is...

What I mean is that
your mother and I
are leaving

And you're not.

But if you're
not here,

Milkshake's
secret hut?

[Passes gas]
[meow]

Oh, don't you
worry, sweetheart.

Aunt sis will
babysit you.

[Sigh]

How come you're
not going on
a romantic weekend?

[Sigh]

Oh, billy.
Your aunt sis
is a spinster.

That means she hasn't
had anybody to love

In her pathetic,
lonely life.

Well, not since


[Disco music playing]
your aunt sis was
dancing with

Dolphin laygron.

Ooh, he had
all the moves.

They were so
much in love.

It was the happiest
of her life...

Well, until dolphin
fell in love with
another girl

And broke
aunt sis' heart.

That man had
all the moves.

Bye-bye, billy.

Hee hee hee hee
hee hee hee hee
hee hee!

You're a splinter.

[Sigh]

So, desperate
for companionship,

I, too, long for
a friend.

What do you say,
aunt sis?

Are you desperate enough
to settle for me?

Billy: ooh,
hey, guys.

This is
my babysitter,
aunt sis.

Shouldn't she
be off on some
romantic getaway?

Hee hee hee hee
hee hee hee!

No. She's
a splinter,

'Cause she's
got nobody.

[Loud rumbling]

[Chattering]

Nerglings.

It's tony curtis.

No, billy.
It's nergal.

[Beep beep]

Our mortal enemy
from the center
of the earth.

Oh. Yeah.

Bee jing, prepare
for combat.

[Passes gas]

You're even more
desperate in
real life.

Aaah.

Billy: keep your
dirty paws off her.

She's mine.

Oh, really?

Yeah, really.

So go find
loving companionship
somewhere else.

[Giggling]

Hey. Ooh!

Ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha!

Darling, let me
take you on

The most memorable
night of your
pitiful life.

Ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha!

If your aunt falls
for nergal,

And they
get married,

Then you and nergal
will be related.

Must... Stop...
The love.

[Mariachi music playing]

To love.

Yeah, whatever.

Rrowr.

Ha ha ha
ha ha ha!

[Sigh]

There's nothing
a bucket of spiders
can't fix.

Aaah, a bug.

Get it off.
Get it off.

Aaah!

[Thump]

I'm ok.

Aaah! Aaah!
Aaah!

Ah, aunt sis.
Would that I could
give you the world.

Alas, all I can
offer is my heart.

Keep your organs
to yourself, bub.

Woman: oh, joe.
Of course I'll
marry you.

Babycakes, this ring
represents my eternal...

Blast. Where is
that stupid thing?

Oh!

Eee! Ooh! Eee! Ooh!

Billy: hee hee hee!
♪ You look like a dork

Now my aunt sis
will never fall in love
and marry you,

And you and I
won't be related.

Aunt sis:
oh, nergal.

I love you.

I've never seen
anybody move

Like that
before.

You're hot.

So, aunt sis, will you marry me?

Oh, yes.

Of course
I'll marry you.

Nephew.

Well, billy,
I guess that
will mean

Family visits to

The roasting
center of
the earth.

Billy?

Hee hee hee hee!
Hey, I found another
piece of candy.